Why are you sad right now?

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by Alex Kenivel, May 28, 2014.

  1. TedEH

    TedEH Cromulent

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    Finally got a nice quiet weekend to myself aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand... sick the whole time. Some kind of stomach bug? Food poisoning maybe? I attended a bbq not too long ago where I'm now awfully suspicious the burgers were not nearly cooked enough.
     
  2. justin_time

    justin_time has terrible gear

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    I overpracticed some guitar parts and hurt my forearm, this is now week 5 of it still not being fully healed, I am like the opposite of wolverine.
     
  3. Kaura

    Kaura metalist

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    Accidentally squished a spider. :( It was a fast and huge fucker so it was difficult to catch it. But I wanted it out because of that and while I was searching for it I realised it had already made a home behind my pc which was full of cobwebs so it was time to kick it out before it had a chance to invite its friends.
     
  4. chipchappy

    chipchappy thudmaster

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    RIP Mac. Guy was wicked talented.
     
  5. BusinessMan

    BusinessMan SS.org Regular

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    I just turned 24 on this last Saturday and no one seemed to give a shit. My mom made me lunch, but that’s about it. A couple of friends wished my happy bday and the like but no one gave a rats ass. No one even got me any small little gifts or even some candy I enjoy; not even my fiancé. It has just been really bringing me down ever since and is just really making me sad. And yet everyone expects so much from me when it’s their bday and now I couldn’t give two fcuks
     
  6. Demiurge

    Demiurge Intrepid Jackass

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    ^That really sucks. I mean, it was a Saturday- someone should have at least availed themselves to get you a drink or something.

    Not that it's much of a salve right now, but, that said, birthdays will eventually become a nuisance as you get older. Time begins to get very slippery, and focusing on its passage is the worst.

    Birthdays are like New Years Eve Part 2 where you have another set division in time to feel compelled to reflect: "Oh, another year has passed- and what did I accomplish?" There are the landmarks that seem to draw people out of the woodwork- even though they're the worst ones- then you get to think about the next landmark. Hurray, I get to think about turning 38 AND its proximity to 40!
     
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  7. TedEH

    TedEH Cromulent

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    I haven't even quite reached 30 yet, but I'm already at that point of appreciating that nobody makes a big deal of birthdays anymore. Doesn't help that it's shortly after xmas and newyears already, so I'm completely done with being social by the time bday comes around. I've always looked it them all kind of similarly anyway in that they're sort of "for the kids". The farther I get from being a kid, and having no kids of my own, those events become less and less about me - which is great, because it means you have the freedom to inject whatever meaning/value you want into them. Nobody around on your birthday? Awesome. Make it a "you" day. Go do something that you never get to do because the people around you don't share your enthusiasm for it. Screw them, it's your day, amirite?
     
  8. MaxOfMetal

    MaxOfMetal Likes trem wankery. Super Moderator

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    I think you should talk about this, with your fiancé especially.

    Don't worry, no one who matters is going to think less of you and if it makes you feel bad it's definitely worth bringing up.
     
  9. p0ke

    p0ke 7-string guitard

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    I guess if you haven't made a big deal (or any deal) out of celebrating your birthday before, people might think you don't really care? I personally don't give a shit about celebrating my birthday, so I don't really expect anything more than people wishing me a happy birthday if they know it's my birthday. My wife on the other hand pretty much expects the whole day to be reserved for her and I do my best to surprise her in various ways. But if she did the same for me, it'd just be awkward.

    Yeah, same here. I'm turning 30 next year and have kids, so all the celebrations are just for them, really. Except when I turn 30, I will have an adults only party, but we'll see how that turns out. Maybe I'll just invite all my friends on a boat cruise or something...
     
    Last edited: Oct 9, 2018
  10. TedEH

    TedEH Cromulent

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    I pose a strange question for the sadness thread:. Does anyone else get strangely sad the day after a really good day?

    I mentioned something like this to a friend, thinking it was a universal experience, but apparently it's not. Everyone has good and bad days, but I find that I respond to peaks in mood by swinging almost as strongly in the opposite direction the day after. Like if you plotted my mood, it would be a pretty consistent wave, rather rather than a series of unrelated points. A great day is always followed by a miserable day. A bad day is always followed by one where I'm cool with everything, etc until eventually settling at a neutral mood again.

    Yesterday I spontaneously joined some co-workers to get dinner and go see some amateur standup and just have an overall very social and enjoyable evening - but today I'm just sad for no reason. It's like the absence of yesterday's highs just drag me down. A neutral day next to a great day feels terrible by comparison. Does that make any sense to anyone?

    To answer the question the thread poses:. Why am I sad right now? I have no idea.
     
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  11. DistinguishedPapyrus

    DistinguishedPapyrus SS.org Regular

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    Hurricane Michael...

    Sad to see all the damage that's happened to the Panama City area in Florida. This is my home state, I live just a short way away from the most heavily hit areas... just feel wrecked for these people. It really wasn't bad where I'm at, I caught the outer bands of the storm, the power flickered a few times and we had some rain and wind throughout the day, but Panama City, it's like a war zone. I'm seeing dozens of pictures on Facebook and from co-workers, one of whom just moved in from that area about a year ago and still has friends and family in the there. Homes, businesses, trees, and all sorts of other properties just whipped to shreds.

    It peaked at 155 mph sustained winds, just 2 mph shy of being a category 5. It was the strongest storm ever recorded to hit this region of the coast, and the third strongest to make landfall in the US measuring by barometric pressure. There's actually a website where you can see weather bouy data, and one bouy in the gulf measured a 30 foot wave height before it went offline yesterday...

    Just kind of a sobering thought, that could've easily been me if it had turned a little more.
     
    Last edited: Oct 11, 2018
  12. Vyn

    Vyn Not a Sparkly Vampire

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    Made some rather poor financial choices when I was younger (18 and credit cards, worst combination ever). I've been working my arse off over the last 8 or so years to correct them and I'm nearly at the point where I don't have bills coming out to pay financial companies (which is actually a massively good thing). However I've kind of crawled into a depressive shock because for a while getting out of debt was my only focus and I never stopped to think of what to do afterwards.

    TL;DR - Nearly out of debt, freaking out because NFI what to do with life now.
     
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  13. Demiurge

    Demiurge Intrepid Jackass

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    ^This reminds me of a commercial that has been airing around where I am: it's a series of vignettes where people are about to do things like buy a house or get married but they're physically stuck, like the car door won't open in front of the house for sale or the bride is stuck at the far end of the aisle. It's for a financial services company and the tag is something like, "Is debt keeping you from living your life?" Yet it paints all landmark events as ones that involve an outlay of money.

    So, I guess the point is that you need to pay off your debt so you can incur more debt. And then you also save to save money so you can not-work for a few years before you die. Yay!
     
  14. cwhitey2

    cwhitey2 BlackendCrust Metal™

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    She wouldn't be my fiancé for long I can tell you that much.

    I'm 31 and still celebrate every birthday like I'm 21 :lol:

    I still have friends that still take each other out for birthday drinks and stuff (I'm one of them). Fuck...my dad and I went on a week long vacation this year to Colorado for my birthday :yesway:
     
  15. Vyn

    Vyn Not a Sparkly Vampire

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    I think I worked out that in 2-3 years I would have a good amount of coin for a house deposit but at this point I'd rather pay rent simply because the thought of having a 30 year loan after just becoming debt free makes me want to vomit.
     
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  16. BrailleDecibel

    BrailleDecibel Dinkleberg

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    To be completely honest, I also am afflicted with this, and never really noticed said trend until I read your post. I had a blue-ribbon baby of a day yesterday, jammed my geetarz, went to the gym, and then a BBQ at my best friend's place. Now here I am in the morning, all my problems still very much present after the healing salve of yesterday's awesomeness, and while it isn't a full-out bad day yet, if shit doesn't turn around soon, it will be before long. Thanks for clearing that up man!
     
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  17. TedEH

    TedEH Cromulent

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    I do tend to wonder at times if maybe this emotional "wave" thing I keep describing is just a defense mechanism of some kind for me. Like right now, I feel like I'm in that same low part of the wave, where the last few days were pretty great, but this morning, my luck is turning against me. In particular, I was sort of riding this recent urge to be very social and decided to have some people over from work near the end of the month, make a halloween shindig out of it - but someone else also is throwing a party and sort of invited all the same people, who are now bailing on me. If I had just not bothered trying to host an event (the high point), I would never have to experience it's failure either (the associated low point). So maybe my tendency is to just stay in that neutral zone of not taking much emotional risk - and in the cases that I take the risk, leaving that comfort zone provides the high, but the inevitable failures that come with risk drag me in the other direction soon after.

    And being sad puts me in an analytical mood. As if I'd rather occupy myself shallowly deconstructing my behaviors than just give up and be sad.
     
  18. PunkBillCarson

    PunkBillCarson SS.org Regular

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    Over the course of the last few months, I've come to terms with the fact that my upbringing wasn't exactly optimal in terms of mental and emotional health (my mother was physically abusive, and my step-father enabled her behavior), they both favor my brother and his wife and my suspicion of that is the fact that they can give them grandchildren while my wife and I cannot (my wife has a weak cervix and cannot carry past a certain point). My wife and I have lost children due to this, and something that really irked me last week was when my wife and I were tagged by my sister-in-law when she said "been waiting so long for this." She got pregnant AGAIN after the last child they had which was two years ago.

    I guess it makes us assholes that us can't be happy for them the way we should, but a big factor in this is the fact that they are class A fuck ups. Neither will hold a job for very long. My brother has literally pissed two jobs away, one of those while their first was on the way. Meanwhile, my wife and I have scratched and fucking clawed, shed countless tears over what we have been through. I don't know, I guess my own envy is keeping me from supporting them, but I'm honestly at the point where I've been the black sheep for so long, I don't really care.

    I'm also not a fan of them smoking weed around their child because "smoking weed is better than smoking cigarettes around them." I'm sorry, I didn't know that secondhand smoke from ANYTHING was necessarily "good." I don't even feel a connection to their first child because they never bring her around, but then expect us to come to all their little fucking events, and if we don't, my mother gets all bent out of shape about it. That's right... The mother that used to beat me for not understanding my math homework wants me to go to anything that has to do with my brother; the same one who got high on pills hit a stop sign and she thought our actual Dad was being too hard on him because he threatened to take him out of football. At this point, I'm honestly just fucking done and I'm a phone call away from telling her, my brother, and my step father exactly how I feel about all of this shit.
     
  19. p0ke

    p0ke 7-string guitard

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    Well, I guess you should, really. But I'd suggest calming down as much as possible first so you can tell them in a reasonable way instead of raging away. You'd need to make it clear that it's not just a one time thing, and that you've been trying to live with the situation and just can't handle it anymore.

    About your mom and step-father favoring your brother: I'm guessing he's a younger brother? Even me and my sister have gotten very different treatments even though my mom is nowhere near abusive or anything (slightly depressed maybe, but not in a way that I ever noticed as a kid) - my sister rode her moped into a street sign while drunk and didn't get any kind of punishment, meanwhile I was constantly complained at for not getting straight A's in school (I did get mostly A's, mind you... ). She just had much less limitations than I ever did. I was allowed to drink beer at home when I was 16 but only at home - my sister was allowed to go to house parties and get shitfaced when she was 15 :lol:
     
  20. PunkBillCarson

    PunkBillCarson SS.org Regular

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    Younger brother, yes. They show him so much enthusiasm than they've ever shown my wife and I. As far as my mother being abusive, she used to lock her door, do drugs, and leave very little in the kitchen. She would wake me up at 3 in the morning on a school day because she thought the dryer was on fire and she would tell me to go check outside (the dryer is inside) to see. When I was 17, she told me to get out because I told her that her drug habit was bankrupting the house. Naturally, a few years later, they lost the house.

    She still smokes weed and I've even witnessed her lifting a fucking couch to find a roach (marijuana) and then resigning to scraping the resin off the inside of the pipe. I'm coming to terms with all of this now and I know that if I brought it up, any of it, they would all just say I'm jealous (they've got a point) and they would ask if I was a perfect little angel. In all honesty, no, I wasn't, but the environment didn't exactly help. Step-dad also gone because he was in the military, believed every word my mother told him, so when I finally got sick of beaten slapped and smacked because she didn't know which way was up, guess who the bad guy still was? Me. Guess who the asshole was that needed to do what my mother told me? Me. Sorry, Mom, you want me to turn my face towards you so you can slap it a little harder? Want me to give you my shoulder so you can beat the fuck out of it, just because I have a learning disability?

    I eventually did move to my Dad's, got better grades, graduated high school and got the job I have now. For the most part I'm doing great, but I've experienced a massive emotional upheaval lately and I'm being forced to confront these latent nightmares and I don't know what to do. It's taken 11 years for this to resurface and I've been having a very tough time emotionally dealing with it. No one wants to admit they're the victims of abuse because it seems so terrible, but sometimes, you look back and realize some very fucked shit was going on.
     

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