Why are you mad right now?

Emperor Guillotine

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Really going through a tough time, and just kind of blasting this out there anonymously.

I recently relocated out of NYC. Couldn't take it up there anymore in the post-COVID hellhole that the city has become. I've barely been in the new region since the tail-end of 2021, and I'm already "blacklisted" from obtaining work here.

I work in the TV/film industry; and I've barely worked at all this year despite multiple series and multiple films being shot here. At the risk of sounding horribly entitled, I ought to be a first pick from amongst the pool of freelancers, especially with how tiny the pool of workers is here. Couple that with my extensive resume that I've built over years and years of grinding out time on shows that many media consumers would recognize. I was always a first pick for so many companies and so many hiring managers/coordinators in NYC, which ought to say a lot given the vast number of freelance workers that you could cull from any of the five boroughs in NYC. Plus, I am a local to the new region that I'm in (got my own residence), which as a fact would save productions money. However, this incredibly childish, unprofessional bastard who had an immense personal problem with me (for whatever undisclosed reason) terminated me under false grounds (literally zero legitimate reason given) and then proceeded to drag my name through the muck as a means of seeking retribution because I wouldn't let him harass, abuse, accost, and assault me in the workplace.

You guys all know those running jokes, online rumors, and even myths about the American film business being perverse and loaded with disgusting behavior such as sexual harassment in the workplace, physical and sexual assault in the workplace, and even pedophilia? Yeah...all of it is real. All of it actually happens. Not just to actors, but also to crew workers.

I very professionally stood my ground and put up with the guy's shit day-in and day-out until I guess he could tell that I was not going to let him steamroll over me and bully me. Thus, the uncalled-for termination. And I countered by reporting him afterwards.

HR didn't do anything when I reported the guy. HR solely serves to protect the production company from being sued. The UPM (union production manager - the boss of the bosses) didn't do anything when I reported the guy. The UPM solely serves to keep the schedule and the crew moving forward. And the union that this bastard is a member of didn't do anything when I reported the guy since the union solely serves to protect their own members since their members are the ones bringing in the union dues.

Anyway, I've never had a problem maintaining a busy work schedule month to month as a freelancer; however, ever since encountering that individual and dealing with his heinous obsession with me (whether it was out of personal beef or perverse personal fancy or some grotesque combination of both) and his foul, unjust termination of me, I haven't gotten a single call, email, or offer to work a gig. And I know he is a shit-talker. It fits his character. He's a very insecure guy. I can't emphasize that enough. One look at him and you instantly know that he isn't the type of person fit for a position of authority. You can also tell that he was bullied a lot in his younger years. Upon a quick search on Google, I found a news article from twelve years ago detailing an event that transpired where he got out-of-hand with a pedestrian while working on a film set and was subsequently assaulted by the said pedestrian. (Probably deserved it.) So maybe that attributes to the massive chip on the guy's shoulder. He possibly thinks that he has something to prove by being a degenerate asshole to everyone.

So now, I'm going to have to relocate again or completely jump out of the industry and enter a new industry (with a new career path) altogether.....which I've honestly been wanting to do anyway due to lack of personal fulfillment along with being just outright fed up with the film biz. But I just don't know what is next, where to go, what should I do, etc. I'm totally clueless. I have no plan. And it's just genuinely frustrating.

I'm dealing with a bunch of other bullshit in life at the moment. And it would be so nice to just immerse myself in work in order to drown out all of the problems for x-number of hours per day. But obviously, that is no longer happening.
 
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BlackMastodon

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Fuck, sorry to hear about that.

It may sound kinda petty and shitty, but can you take it public? Not to pile on to cancel culture, but if this dude is this big of a piece of shit, chances are really good he's harassed others and has a history of it. He tried to burn you and your entire career down, might as well try to torch him to. Sounds like he deserves it.
 

Emperor Guillotine

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Fuck, sorry to hear about that.

It may sound kinda petty and shitty, but can you take it public? Not to pile on to cancel culture, but if this dude is this big of a piece of shit, chances are really good he's harassed others and has a history of it. He tried to burn you and your entire career down, might as well try to torch him to. Sounds like he deserves it.
Other people have told me to go public as well. It's tough because to do so would absolutely sever my final remaining ties (if any) to the industry, and I would become an ostracized pariah. But, like I said previously, I'm fed up with the industry and want out. So, I really have nothing to lose. The only thing that could happen would be this petty individual coming after me with some kind of bogus slander/libel/cease-and-desist type of lawsuit, which I could see potentially happening because the film biz is full of the most petty motherfuckers you can possibly imagine. Actual trifling leeches in human skin, waiting and groveling for any potential opening to attack for any reason, no matter how small or insignificant.

Anyway, @BlackMastodon, I did try to test this approach earlier today, albeit probably not the best method as I opted to try posting in a film crew Facebook group that has around 75K-76K members.

Essentially, despite the names that I named, my recollections of events, my screenshots, I was discouraged by group members and blatantly told to sit down and shut up. My post quickly got wiped.

So, what's next? Who should I actually go to next?

The film biz is really weird and filled with nothing but hypocrites (especially when ego gets evolved). Everyone puts on this huge, flashy facade of being incredibly against toxic behaviors, against abuses in the workplace, against anything negative, etc. And yet, they will sit there and then perpetuate those same toxic behaviors lest they be labeled as a "troublemaker" and lose a future paycheck or a future gig to advance their career/ego.
 
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Spaced Out Ace

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Other people have told me to go public as well. It's tough because to do so would absolutely sever my final remaining ties (if any) to the industry, and I would become an ostracized pariah. But, like I said previously, I'm fed up with the industry and want out. So, I really have nothing to lose. The only thing that could happen would be this petty individual coming after me with some kind of bogus slander/libel/cease-and-desist type of lawsuit, which I could see potentially happening because the film biz is full of the most petty motherfuckers you can possibly imagine. Actual trifling leeches in human skin, waiting and groveling for any potential opening to attack for any reason, no matter how small or insignificant.

Anyway, @BlackMastodon, I did try to test this approach earlier today, albeit probably not the best method as I opted to try posting in a film crew Facebook group that has around 75K-76K members.

Essentially, despite the names that I named, my recollections of events, my screenshots, I was discouraged by group members and blatantly told to sit down and shut up. My post quickly got wiped.

So, what's next? Who should I actually go to next?

The film biz is really weird and filled with nothing but hypocrites (especially when ego gets evolved). Everyone puts on this huge, flashy facade of being incredibly against toxic behaviors, against abuses in the workplace, against anything negative, etc. And yet, they will sit there and then perpetuate those same toxic behaviors lest they be labeled as a "troublemaker" and lose a future paycheck or a future gig to advance their career/ego.
Not the film industry. The customers. Go to them. The industry allowed Disney to hire Nathan Forrest Winters abuser because Victor Salva has been protected by Francis Ford Coppola for decades.

Disney and Nickelodeon have a history of hiring and protecting pedophiles, actually. The whole nonsense surrounding James Gunn was nothing but a publicity stunt, because Disney doesn't give a shit. Harvey was only ousted after Disney got rid of Miramax/Dimension.

Public pressure led to accountability, while the industry has been more than glad to protect these weirdos.

Go on social media to the customers, name the name(s), most of all provide the information, and see how it shakes out.

Then, consider your career in that finished, and see if you can find a way to parlay that into something else.
 

Emperor Guillotine

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Not the film industry. The customers. Go to them. The industry allowed Disney to hire Nathan Forrest Winters abuser because Victor Salva has been protected by Francis Ford Coppola for decades.

Disney and Nickelodeon have a history of hiring and protecting pedophiles, actually. The whole nonsense surrounding James Gunn was nothing but a publicity stunt, because Disney doesn't give a shit. Harvey was only ousted after Disney got rid of Miramax/Dimension.

Public pressure led to accountability, while the industry has been more than glad to protect these weirdos.

Go on social media to the customers, name the name(s), most of all provide the information, and see how it shakes out.

Then, consider your career in that finished, and see if you can find a way to parlay that into something else.
Do the consumers even care? Especially when it comes to someone along the lines of this individual who works in a position (assistant director) that 99.99% of consumer don’t even know what it is, what it entails, or that the position even exists. What can consumers even do?

It’s not like this guy was a serial predator in a huge exec position like Harvey Weinstein. This guy is just a nobody. An insufferable, childish, insecure harasser. He isn’t out there trying to diddle consumers or start fights with consumers. Just film crew. I can try to warn folks in the industry, but clearly that’s going to go over well…
 

nightflameauto

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Other people have told me to go public as well. It's tough because to do so would absolutely sever my final remaining ties (if any) to the industry, and I would become an ostracized pariah. But, like I said previously, I'm fed up with the industry and want out. So, I really have nothing to lose. The only thing that could happen would be this petty individual coming after me with some kind of bogus slander/libel/cease-and-desist type of lawsuit, which I could see potentially happening because the film biz is full of the most petty motherfuckers you can possibly imagine. Actual trifling leeches in human skin, waiting and groveling for any potential opening to attack for any reason, no matter how small or insignificant.

Anyway, @BlackMastodon, I did try to test this approach earlier today, albeit probably not the best method as I opted to try posting in a film crew Facebook group that has around 75K-76K members.

Essentially, despite the names that I named, my recollections of events, my screenshots, I was discouraged by group members and blatantly told to sit down and shut up. My post quickly got wiped.

So, what's next? Who should I actually go to next?

The film biz is really weird and filled with nothing but hypocrites (especially when ego gets evolved). Everyone puts on this huge, flashy facade of being incredibly against toxic behaviors, against abuses in the workplace, against anything negative, etc. And yet, they will sit there and then perpetuate those same toxic behaviors lest they be labeled as a "troublemaker" and lose a future paycheck or a future gig to advance their career/ego.
Somebody may think this is a joke, but it's not. Approach somebody involved with Crooked Media. If you're lucky, Jon Lovett will hear and tell his husband about it. Ronan Farrow seems to get off on exposing the film industry's dark secrets. He's done several documentaries and articles on the bullshit surrounding Weinstein and some of his cronies. I'm sure he'd love to get ahold of more proof of the utter bullshit that the front-liners have to tolerate. At the very least, you know he wouldn't run to the usual suspects with it. And he may just line you up for his next round of articles and documentaries.

One of his documentaries even went in-depth on how much intimidation people coming forward have to tolerate, so he's very aware of what a struggle it is to get this info out into the public.

Best of luck, man. It's a shit situation and outside of that suggestion, I have no idea how I'd handle it.
 

Spaced Out Ace

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Do the consumers even care? Especially when it comes to someone along the lines of this individual who works in a position (assistant director) that 99.99% of consumer don’t even know what it is, what it entails, or that the position even exists. What can consumers even do?

It’s not like this guy was a serial predator in a huge exec position like Harvey Weinstein. This guy is just a nobody. An insufferable, childish, insecure harasser. He isn’t out there trying to diddle consumers or start fights with consumers. Just film crew. I can try to warn folks in the industry, but clearly that’s going to go over well…
They cared enough to get Fangoria sold from whom they were owned by, so perhaps.
 

Emperor Guillotine

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Fuck, sorry to hear about that.

It may sound kinda petty and shitty, but can you take it public? Not to pile on to cancel culture, but if this dude is this big of a piece of shit, chances are really good he's harassed others and has a history of it. He tried to burn you and your entire career down, might as well try to torch him to. Sounds like he deserves it.
Following back up on this topic.

I was speaking with an online acquaintance who is a member of that same film crew Facebook group with 76K members that I attempted to post in yesterday. He was thoroughly disappointed in how I was shut down and silenced yesterday when I attempted to speak out about how I was treated. So, he took it upon himself of his own volition to make a post in the group -- a much more scathing post explicitly voicing support for me and calling out the groups members as a general collective, saying that they should do better in regards to their hypocrisy surrounding abuse in the workplace and stop reprimanding people for speaking out with stories about abuse on film sets. His intent was very clearly good-natured and meant to elicit a necessary conversation.

......and the group fucking imploded.....

At first, the comments were positive and supportive; but then, people came out of the woodworks spewing some absolutely vile diatribe, calling me a liar, leveling insults at this online acquaintance who made the post of his own decision, trying to suggest that he and I were "conspiring", saying that my initial post was misinterpreted, then saying that my post was bullshit and deserved to be removed, etc. I mean, this was some absolutely crazy shit!

Hundreds of group members began messaging the group admin and/or just outright left the group. HUNDREDS. Others were leaving public comments condemning the group admin for deleting my post. During all of this, I was enjoying my day and not bothering to check social media on my phone.

I eventually checked social media this evening and saw the blast-wave that the post had set off in the group. It looked to me like things had just kept escalating and escalating until a random woman who claimed to have worked with me (yet I don't have a single call sheet with her name on it from any past productions) launched an outright heinous attempt at character assassination against me in the comments. Name-calling, saying I was a terrible worker, saying that I had pissed off everyone in every department ever (clear hyperbole), and just other over-the-top accusations that flat-out weren't true. As it turns out, she knows the unprofessional bastard who bullied me and harassed me. So, she might've made some gigantic assumption about my post that was deleted (which prompted my online acquaintance to make his post in response) or she figured out who the post was about and was trying to score some internet brownie points and look good in someone's eyes. No clue. But it was weird.

At that point, I had to step in and help with damage control since I can't afford to have my name dragged through the muck anymore, even though I had nothing to do with this incident. The group admin had also reached out to me by then. So, I responded and we resolved things amicably. My online acquaintance had his post deleted, the random psycho woman's comments against me were removed, my ass was covered, and I'm allowed to post in the group again. Full faculties restored despite my post yesterday with the names that I named, my recollections of events, my screenshots, etc. (which we already discussed @BlackMastodon).

But at the end of the day, still nothing has been actually addressed regarding the bullying, the harassment, and the assault that I suffered, as well as the bullshit blacklisting for this bastard to cover his ass. And now, it seems as though he has cronies out prowling on his behalf.

This just proves what I said previously about the film industry being filled with nothing but hypocrites and bullshit.

Somebody may think this is a joke, but it's not. Approach somebody involved with Crooked Media. If you're lucky, Jon Lovett will hear and tell his husband about it. Ronan Farrow seems to get off on exposing the film industry's dark secrets. He's done several documentaries and articles on the bullshit surrounding Weinstein and some of his cronies. I'm sure he'd love to get ahold of more proof of the utter bullshit that the front-liners have to tolerate. At the very least, you know he wouldn't run to the usual suspects with it. And he may just line you up for his next round of articles and documentaries.

One of his documentaries even went in-depth on how much intimidation people coming forward have to tolerate, so he's very aware of what a struggle it is to get this info out into the public.

Best of luck, man. It's a shit situation and outside of that suggestion, I have no idea how I'd handle it.
I guess I'll look into this now. Never heard of Crooked Media. Kind of sounds like some InfoWars type of shit based on how you described it here, @nightflameauto.
 
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narad

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The sheer number of people who ask for 'donations' so their child/friend/family member can go do something.

I remember when I was in Scouts, I spent many Saturdays and Sundays cooking sausages to sell outside the local Hardware store, selling awful chocolates and really had to work my arse off to go on these camps.

Fuggin' gofundme etc has ruined everything by thinking everyone can get everything for free.
Work hard people. No one owes you anything.

Well I mean, I'm not necessarily on board with the idea that kids should spend their childhood doing mundane chores that people support only for that reason. No one wants that lemonade. I feel like your parents owe you those camps, but not other people's parents. Like should we all gofundme our christmas presents too? Or a family vacation? I'm pretty oblivious to what's going on in the US at the moment, but I guess I'm not surprised it went that way.

Related, I felt kinda the same watching a bunch of people like... crash their bikes without insurance and then setup gofundmes for the expenses, but all the meanwhile getting tons of custom guitars. Then I'd see brands like, "support so-and-so, he's got medical expense problems, click here to see how". Then when I got cancer (which is like sorted now thankfully/hopefully), paid my own expenses, but still kinda thought guitar companies (some the same) might give me a break with a small discount on the orders I was working on at the time. Nope. Don't let anyone fool you, cancer is pretty much an entirely bad thing. And guitar companies are much less charitable when it's a discussion in an email and not a public insta post.
 
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nightflameauto

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I guess I'll look into this now. Never heard of Crooked Media. Kind of sounds like some InfoWars type of shit based on how you described it here, @nightflameauto.
Kinda / sorta. They're an entertainment company that goes political and takes on causes for folks too "small" to take on those causes themselves. My wife's a huge supporter of them. I follow them loosely, and while I'm not huge on "movements" or anything of that nature, they seem like decent enough folks. I've never heard anybody say a bad word about any of them, which is unusual with a group as dedicated to taking down shit-heels in the public sphere as they are.

Best of luck, bud. Hope you find a positive resolution somewhere down the line.
 

Spaced Out Ace

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Following back up on this topic.

I was speaking with an online acquaintance who is a member of that same film crew Facebook group with 76K members that I attempted to post in yesterday. He was thoroughly disappointed in how I was shut down and silenced yesterday when I attempted to speak out about how I was treated. So, he took it upon himself of his own volition to make a post in the group -- a much more scathing post explicitly voicing support for me and calling out the groups members as a general collective, saying that they should do better in regards to their hypocrisy surrounding abuse in the workplace and stop reprimanding people for speaking out with stories about abuse on film sets. His intent was very clearly good-natured and meant to elicit a necessary conversation.

......and the group fucking imploded.....

At first, the comments were positive and supportive; but then, people came out of the woodworks spewing some absolutely vile diatribe, calling me a liar, leveling insults at this online acquaintance who made the post of his own decision, trying to suggest that he and I were "conspiring", saying that my initial post was misinterpreted, then saying that my post was bullshit and deserved to be removed, etc. I mean, this was some absolutely crazy shit!

Hundreds of group members began messaging the group admin and/or just outright left the group. HUNDREDS. Others were leaving public comments condemning the group admin for deleting my post. During all of this, I was enjoying my day and not bothering to check social media on my phone.

I eventually checked social media this evening and saw the blast-wave that the post had set off in the group. It looked to me like things had just kept escalating and escalating until a random woman who claimed to have worked with me (yet I don't have a single call sheet with her name on it from any past productions) launched an outright heinous attempt at character assassination against me in the comments. Name-calling, saying I was a terrible worker, saying that I had pissed off everyone in every department ever (clear hyperbole), and just other over-the-top accusations that flat-out weren't true. As it turns out, she knows the unprofessional bastard who bullied me and harassed me. So, she might've made some gigantic assumption about my post that was deleted (which prompted my online acquaintance to make his post in response) or she figured out who the post was about and was trying to score some internet brownie points and look good in someone's eyes. No clue. But it was weird.

At that point, I had to step in and help with damage control since I can't afford to have my name dragged through the muck anymore, even though I had nothing to do with this incident. The group admin had also reached out to me by then. So, I responded and we resolved things amicably. My online acquaintance had his post deleted, the random psycho woman's comments against me were removed, my ass was covered, and I'm allowed to post in the group again. Full faculties restored despite my post yesterday with the names that I named, my recollections of events, my screenshots, etc. (which we already discussed @BlackMastodon).

But at the end of the day, still nothing has been actually addressed regarding the bullying, the harassment, and the assault that I suffered, as well as the bullshit blacklisting for this bastard to cover his ass. And now, it seems as though he has cronies out prowling on his behalf.

This just proves what I said previously about the film industry being filled with nothing but hypocrites and bullshit.


I guess I'll look into this now. Never heard of Crooked Media. Kind of sounds like some InfoWars type of shit based on how you described it here, @nightflameauto.
She doesn't exist. Sock puppet account for the abuser.
 

Spaced Out Ace

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This just proves what I said previously about the film industry being filled with nothing but hypocrites and bullshit.
There's an episode of Tales from the Crypt where a character says that La-La-Land is the "money, pussy, and bullshit capital of the western world." They aren't wrong.
 

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I get this. Perhaps I am a little arrogant.

Oh I try as much as I can with those around me. Without sounding pompous, I regularly mentor people on a few different subjects if there’s interest.

You raise a good point, I should try harder.

Not necessarily. I'll go a step further and say that you may likely have been someone who's been all too happy to put yourself out there and found you've gotten nothing back, even outside your hobbies and interests. Many people try and pour from an empty cup just to maintain friendships, and there is a lot of the time where a person could feel unappreciated for putting in the effort only to not get much back. I don't know why, but I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. Could be just my personal experience as well interfering with my opinion on this.
 

MFB

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Going to NY for a show, too lazy to drive so I say fuck it, I'll take the Amtrak. Got here right when I was supposed to, checking the board for my train etc.

Turns out my trains final stop was DC, and that the train number changes between it's arrival and it's departure; so what I was looking for, came and went right before my eyes, and I had no fucking clue.

So now I'm at the station with a 2 hr wait for my now new train and had to pay another $84 for a new ticket even though I never even used my first one. I see why people hate this system.
 

BlackMastodon

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Fuck Captcha to death. You fucking piece of hot dogshit software, you're the one asking me to fucking point out cars and traffic lights, don't tell me I'm wrong, you cunt. I fucking hate you.

Also, fuck Steam for not having a customer support email anymore. Eat my whole ass.
 

wheresthefbomb

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Annoyed with disorganized event planners for a multitude of persnickety reasons that are valid but if the situations were reversed I would mostly interpret as whiny bullshit. At least where my name did make it onto the event flier, it was spelled right.

What I have taken from this experience is that I need a minimal "press kit" and a little more self-advocacy because if I don't tell people how to promote and describe me they're not going to know/not going to try and I have nobody to blame but myself.

It would seem my wrist muscles aren't the only ones to've atrophied in 6+ months of recovery.
 

Spaced Out Ace

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Fuck Captcha to death. You fucking piece of hot dogshit software, you're the one asking me to fucking point out cars and traffic lights, don't tell me I'm wrong, you cunt. I fucking hate you.

Also, fuck Steam for not having a customer support email anymore. Eat my whole ass.
I think you can download an add on for your browser to basically bypass captchas. I hate them. They use such low res photos and you're supposed to see fuzzy, 3 pixel blobs as "hydrants" and shit.
 

BlackMastodon

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I think you can download an add on for your browser to basically bypass captchas. I hate them. They use such low res photos and you're supposed to see fuzzy, 3 pixel blobs as "hydrants" and shit.
It's the worst. We all know it's a thinly veiled attempt to make autonomous car vision processing better, but don't mine data from random internet users.
 

MFB

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So yeah, that NY trip I took turned into a calamity of errors.

Aside from missing my original train and having to pay for a ticket to catch another one, I found out on the way to the show that the show got cancelled. Mental health issues, blah blah, so I had to sit for another hour just waiting to get off to go to a city I had no reason to even be in. Got off, found my way around Penn Station underground (honestly, feels more convoluted than it needs to) and walked to the hotel where I arrived a hot, sweaty mess.

Checked into my room, and I somehow didn't notice in any of the photos that it didn't have a TV, so that was a cowabummer. Like, what the fuck man, that's the most basic convenience in a hotel room after a toilet/shower. But whatever, I cool off, change my shirt to go out and grab a burger down the street at this bar. On my way there, I hear this dude, and look over at what looks like an impound lot connected to a hotel for whatever reason; anyway, homeboy is about 6' black dude with no shirt on and six people around him trying to calm him down, and he is FOR SURE on something and isn't stopping until he punches it out of his system. I keep walking down the street and a couple stops me asking if someone tried to fight me, and I say "oh a big black dude back there?" and sure enough it was him. Turns out he had started chasing them while they were jogging, so they called the cops who were on their way. Black dude had at one point started walking down the street behind me, and they saw him and said "let's go in this bar," so I went on my way knowing they were safe-ish.

I get to the bar, walk in and there's a live singer, and they're in full drag makeup. She says hi, so I wave as I take my seat at the bar to order my food. I order what I didn't realize would be the hardest burger in the world to eat (burger + mac and cheese + bacon + spicy ketchup, absolute win flavor wise) and ask for a fork and knife about three bites in. It's great, I eat it all up, have some nice conversations with the cute bartender, give her my meal cost + tip and walk out back to the hotel. Cops are now talking to the group of people who had previously surrounded the black man, not sure if they took him in or what. Go up to my room, and then chilled out with the A/C on the lowest temp I could get it to before going to bed.

Went to breakfast the next day, nothing but net up until I'm going to pay and I heard a man behind me actually use the words "global cabal" in a serious context referring to the White House and Biden Administration, and almost puked on the spot that someone so stupid could be in a city like NY. We do need a wall, I'm just not sure how we'll get them all into one place to build around them.
 


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