The WIP Thread

axxessdenied

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Hey guys!

I'm sure we all have a bunch of random stuff that we want to get feedback on. A lot of threads here end up getting buried with no replies, and some killer stuff gets missed out on.

We could consolidate a lot of those posts into a single thread such as this and follow a simple set of rules to help faciliate constructive criticism between fellow musicians :shred:

Rules!!

We'll keep it simple!

Reply to atleast THREE of the posters above you with a short constructive review of their clip(s). Keep it classy, no bashing. We are all here to improve.

Once you've written your three(or more is even better) reviews, post up your clips at the bottom of your reply for others to listen and review!

Obviously until we get a few replies we won't be able to review three posts. So, post up those clips ASAP! And, let's get this going!! :cool:
Feel free to post up your tracks multiple times as you progress... just make sure to keep giving other people feedback! :)

I'll start off by posting a song i started fleshing out last night. It's sloppy but I think I got a ton of potential on this tune. I think it is going to be my best yet! gotta practice and refine the riffs :D

https://soundcloud.com/axxessdenied/just-an-idea-2
 
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blaaargh

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Nice man! I really like that tappy part in how it interacts with the clean chords. I feel like when the first chuggy part comes back in with the tappy bit and the clean part already going, it's kind of too much, maybe play in more different registers to differentiate it a bit more? Also the fact that the tapping is in triplets and the chugs are straight 8ths kind of throws off the ear, but I think you could make it work.
This is a cover I did to work on my clean singing, wat think?
https://soundcloud.com/shadar-logoth/sundown-torche-cover
 

axxessdenied

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Nice man! I really like that tappy part in how it interacts with the clean chords. I feel like when the first chuggy part comes back in with the tappy bit and the clean part already going, it's kind of too much, maybe play in more different registers to differentiate it a bit more? Also the fact that the tapping is in triplets and the chugs are straight 8ths kind of throws off the ear, but I think you could make it work.
This is a cover I did to work on my clean singing, wat think?
https://soundcloud.com/shadar-logoth/sundown-torche-cover
That's a pretty cool song. Vocals weren't bad. The main thing to really work on would be the harmony between you and the backup vocalists :D

needs some bass :D cool riffs, gonna be a cool song! post up another more complete clip when you get there :D the beginning part with the clean / heavy guitar transition is badass for an intro :hbang:
 

Prime

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I'll start off by posting a song i started fleshing out last night. It's sloppy but I think I got a ton of potential on this tune. I think it is going to be my best yet! gotta practice and refine the riffs :D

https://soundcloud.com/axxessdenied/just-an-idea-2

I'm digging were the parts start to build (1:35) with the "lead" guitar thingy... then onto the tapping.

This is a cover I did to work on my clean singing, wat think?
https://soundcloud.com/shadar-logoth/sundown-torche-cover


Overall I think it has potential. It sounds a little pitchy here and there... but I dig the vibe.



the one before me was already answere, so I'll answer the next one!

https://soundcloud.com/larcher-1/illusionists-legion-2013-album

Larcher...you da man! Love the bass solo part. The vocal notes between 00:53 - 00:56 strike a chord with me. The lo-fi vocals are a little too long IMHO.
 

Larcher

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thanks man :) we really wanted it to sound dramatic as possible :D so I don't think that will change per se, but we might change the notes in which the vocals are sang
 

axxessdenied

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axxessdenied

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Since I managed to accidentally drill a hole in my finger....I have nothing new to offer. As a result, I am posting one of many unfinished piles of poo I've recorded in the past.


http://prime.aspserver.net/pumpingpoo.mp3

I wouldn't call this a pile of poo :lol: That's a pretty solid clip, man! I like it. Reminds me of something I can't quite put my finger on. Diggin' the guitar tone.
 

ThePhilosopher

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I really enjoy your layering, but your tone is a bit sterile for my ears for how washy everything else sounds - maybe something a bit more Dev like in tone would make it gel more.


This is going to be awesome with full instrumentation. I'd like to hear what you have in store.
I too have something a little Deftones-inspired: https://soundcloud.com/dbartko/deftonesesque

Since I managed to accidentally drill a hole in my finger....I have nothing new to offer. As a result, I am posting one of many unfinished piles of poo I've recorded in the past.


http://prime.aspserver.net/pumpingpoo.mp3

The only thing I think that doesn't fit well are the "vocals", the guitar is a bit loud IMO and I think when polished up it will be quite nice.


This track really started out as a trial for some new drum samples I received and then I kept coming back to it as I really enjoyed the whole feel of it, so I expanded it and kept expanding it then :wallbash:.

The bit around 2:12 is where I am doing different ideas for a solo (guitars or synth, but definitely spacey and eerie almost) and doesn't have bass recorded yet in this section. I'd like to try my hand at vocals, but god they're the bane of my existence (singing isn't my forté nor is lyric writing) and my mic is broken.

Rip away: https://soundcloud.com/dbartko/drumidea1
 

axxessdenied

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BTW, guys. Feel free to re-post songs you are working on to get additional feedback after making some changes. I wanna get more people posting in here regularly and get some good constructive criticism going back and forth :D
I think it's always great to get a second opinion since sometimes its easy to overlook certain things :D

ThePhilosopher. Thanks for the tip on the guitar tone. I'm definitely going to take that into consideration. I like that idea of going HevyDevy style on this track. Should fit nicely!

I'm going to post up my thoughts on your track in a bit. I got to shower and head to work, already late :lol:
 

mike90t09

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This track really started out as a trial for some new drum samples I received and then I kept coming back to it as I really enjoyed the whole feel of it, so I expanded it and kept expanding it then :wallbash:.

The bit around 2:12 is where I am doing different ideas for a solo (guitars or synth, but definitely spacey and eerie almost) and doesn't have bass recorded yet in this section. I'd like to try my hand at vocals, but god they're the bane of my existence (singing isn't my forté nor is lyric writing) and my mic is broken.

Rip away: https://soundcloud.com/dbartko/drumidea1

It definitely catches. I enjoy the synth part you put in there. Makes me feel like I'm playing the game Twisted Metal (not sure why but that was my first thought when listening to this). I think an eerie guitar melody would sound neat not sure about a full out solo but hey it's all yours give everything a shot lol.
 

axxessdenied

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You know what came to mind right away? Rob Zombie :hbang: With those kind of style of vox this could be a killer track, haha!
I like your idea of doing an eerie/spacey feel for 2:12 and on... You could layer in some really fucking evil / dissonant sounding chords over that riffing and have some kind of eerie lead going over that... just a thought. looking forward to hearing the end result :shred:
 

ScaleFin83

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This is really great. I could only imagine how brutal this sounds with drums and bass. :agreed:
And You have lots of nice composition's on your Souncloud !!


Like you said there's plenty of potential riffs but this needs a proper structure. :shred:


I like the part -> 1:45. Very good clean vocals and that bass part is awesome. Solid mix ! :yesway:

Here's mine:

https://soundcloud.com/alfafirefox/drop-d-riffage1

It's in drop-d. Lowest I can go atm :hbang:
 

Prime

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Unfortunately this thread did not take off....though it's perfect for my short little shitty clips. The hole I drilled in my finger has healed to the point were I can finally play the guitar to some degree (see my post above).

As a result I tried to record a little clip which undoubtedly sucks. But here it is....

http://prime.aspserver.net/holeinmyfinger.mp3

Boring uncreative sloppy playing crap mixed like shit.... woohooo!!!
 

Rotatous

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https://soundcloud.com/char2000/concept-song-4-final-shift-2

Ita mostly the Mix I need help with, I have yet to fill in the middle as I can't find anything fit there :/

Definitely some good ideas and riffs :yesway:

As for the mix: to my ears the kick sounds too bassy and up front - adding bass (which if its there I can't hear it) will fill out the low end so the drums don't have to. The guitars sound to me like they could use a bit more mids, and the center lead is a bit overbearing and sounds like it should come down a bit.

Keep it up!

Unfortunately this thread did not take off....though it's perfect for my short little shitty clips. The hole I drilled in my finger has healed to the point were I can finally play the guitar to some degree (see my post above).

As a result I tried to record a little clip which undoubtedly sucks. But here it is....

http://prime.aspserver.net/holeinmyfinger.mp3

Boring uncreative sloppy playing crap mixed like shit.... woohooo!!!

Don't know what you're saying its mixed like shit for :nuts: I don't have much criticism, nice drum sound, what are you using? Hope your hand gets better!


Song I recorded months ago but wouldn't mind more feedback on until I finish recording my new material: https://soundcloud.com/hollow-grey/forthcoming
 


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