SS Love and Relationships Thread

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by SevenStringSam, Jun 17, 2010.

  1. c7spheres

    c7spheres GuitArtist

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    Parent trapping should be a crime. Schools should at least teach people what it is in sex education class. It's a real thing that's been attempted on me a few times. Wtf. That's some evil shit there.
     
  2. Thaeon

    Thaeon Cosmic Question Asker

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    No disputes here. It was ABSOLUTELY my own ignorance that got me there. Just a cautioning for others.
     
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  3. DrakkarTyrannis

    DrakkarTyrannis

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    Thoughts and prayers. Lesson learned I guess, right?
     
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  4. Thaeon

    Thaeon Cosmic Question Asker

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    Its why I no longer date.
     
  5. DrakkarTyrannis

    DrakkarTyrannis

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    :sharpie:
     
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  6. Thaeon

    Thaeon Cosmic Question Asker

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    I'm a nerdy musician. Accomplishing either of those is like winning the superbowl.
     
  7. DrakkarTyrannis

    DrakkarTyrannis

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    Damn, pick a struggle. You can't have them all
     
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  8. Thaeon

    Thaeon Cosmic Question Asker

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    I am a white male, living in America. My struggles are tiny comparatively. I exaggerate a bit. I'm 40, play in a band, and I'm relatively intelligent. I'm sure if I put some actual effort into meeting women I would be successful. Its just not a priority. I hate capitalism, and corporate ladder BS. So I'm sort of fucked there. Sort of what kind of discomfort do I want to subject myself to. At least I have an okay job I guess. My life could certainly be a hell of a lot worse.

    TL;DR I have a shit load of things that are not struggles and I'm thankful for them.
     
  9. DrakkarTyrannis

    DrakkarTyrannis

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    To be honest I have NO interest in dating. I dislike dealing with people so much that I'm not even interested in guys for sexual purposes. I requested an antidepressant from my doctor that has a libido killing side effect. Best decision I ever made. To he'll with sex and romance. I'd rather make music and watch horror movies
     
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  10. Thaeon

    Thaeon Cosmic Question Asker

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    For the most part, sex can be accomplished sans partner. I don't believe humans, at least at this point in human history, are very capable of long term intimate relationships with any sort of consistency. And I don't honestly like people in general enough to put that much effort into something that's got a cointoss of a chance of success. I think in a lot of cases, people who get into long term relationships are self deluding. I'm not against falling in love or having feelings for people if they happen. I'm against the idea of attaching any sort of ideas of permanence to them. All relationships end. You either break up or someone dies. The result is the same.
     
  11. LordIronSpatula

    LordIronSpatula A series of interconnected fortune cookies.

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    Can I put this on my tombstone if you aren't reserving it for yours? :idea:
     
  12. thebeesknees22

    thebeesknees22 SS.org Regular

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    the key is to die first! Problem solved.
     
  13. Thaeon

    Thaeon Cosmic Question Asker

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    As long as I’m credited.
     
  14. DrakkarTyrannis

    DrakkarTyrannis

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    Truth. If somehow love comes along then sure. But I don't want it, I'm not looking for it, and I'm much happier single. The most miserable I've ever been in my life have been when I've been in relationships. I just don't find them rewarding. Every once in a blue moon I might go get laid but even that is more just like running and errand and not something to look forward to. To me it's like getting an oil change. It's just shit that has to be done every now and then.

    The last relationship I was in, I was laying in bed with my then boyfriend and it hit me. I thought to myself "Ya know...I could do without this" and breaking up with him was the best decision ever. #ForeverAloneGang
     
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  15. Thaeon

    Thaeon Cosmic Question Asker

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    Same with my last girlfriend. “This is not worth all of the effort and the last two times I’ve been in a relationship I’ve been absolutely miserable.” I have two kids that are absolutely rad people. I get more out of that than a relationship. Friends are better. And my space is better. And not having to nurture someone else’s ego is better.
     
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  16. Obsidian Soul

    Obsidian Soul SS.org Regular

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    I feel like I was born in the wrong era. I like to think I demonstrate an adequate balance of the attributes of good character,but people nowadays don't even try. It never feels like an IF someone will fall short anymore but WHEN. Most people aren't even worth being friends with;a relationship is WAY far-fetched.
     
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  17. soliloquy

    soliloquy SS.org Regular

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    wondering what your views are on being in a relationship for convenience, rather than something stronger, emotionally?

    i dont mean to judge, but when i see my family and friends that are in a relationship, and/or when they tell me about their relationship concerns, more often than not, it appears that people are with their partners for convenience, rather than love. they stay with their partner because they have a house(s) together; they have a lot of assets together; they have kids together; they have a future planned for early retirement; they can travel as much as they want; their partner is a 'nice person' etc...

    but hardly ever do i come across people who actively choose their partners on a daily bases. For them to find their partner desirable. For them to actively WANT their partner.

    millions of people do this all the time, and i'm not saying one is right over the other. But have you had (or are in a relationship) with someone that feeds your soul, and isn't someone you're just tolerating? Not someone who fills the void of loneliness, or companionship, or just have someone for the sake of having someone?
     
  18. TedEH

    TedEH Cromulent

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    Lots of people build functional healthy relationships on much less than that all the time, and I don't see a problem with it.

    I mean, ask yourself what "love" and "relationship" mean - and remember that those don't mean the same thing to everyone else. It's just a way for you to form practical associative links with another person. If your view of a relationship is that the purpose or role of the other person is to be your partner, in general terms, throughout your life, then it makes the MOST sense to base that on practical traits like having similar goals, compatible lifestyles, already being in the same places and groups, raising kids, etc. Maybe you see that as convenience, but I see that as a perfectly reasonable way to form a relationship.

    I mean, it's been my experience that trying to pair up with people on the basis of how hot you think they are doesn't lead to strong partnerships unless your only requirement for that partnership is physical intimacy. Any time I've tried to date someone who wouldn't have otherwise been a friend outside of a dating context has failed miserably. Why would I want to partner up for life with someone who wasn't "convenient"? I used to focus all my attention on potential partners who fit this sort of "ideal" that I know neither I nor she could ever possibly live up to, and it's always been the most spectacular failures. The best relationships I've been in? The ones where I went "you know, we're already here, we're already basically doing everything I think partners should do, why not take that a step farther."

    In my eyes, all the talk about "love" and "souls" and "the one" is bunk. There's attraction and wants and needs, and limitless combinations of ways to form relationships with people. There are no soulmates or absolute "love" that transcends everything else.
     
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  19. Demiurge

    Demiurge Intrepid Jackass

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    It's kind of like when people talk about pets, "Oh, your dog doesn't love you- they're attached to you because you do X, Y, and Z for them". But maybe that's what it is: reliance, loyalty, and affection for somebody who does something for you... even if that thing you get is feeling needed. Looking at things like that, maybe a more honest & durable relationship is built. Relationships where one person is expecting a perpetual montage of cute rom-com moments are destined to fail.
     
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  20. soliloquy

    soliloquy SS.org Regular

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    exactly, i dont believe in soul mates. I believe you make that relationship as strong as possible by working at it.
    Yet, if i'm looking at my relationship, there is no love. I want to be wanted. I want to be chosen. I want to be desired. All i get is the excuse of 'low libido' and 'depression', which, very well may be true. However, without any physical intimacy, all i have is a friend/room mate. Sure, financially life is well put together. by numbers, I am living among the top 5% of the Canadian population in terms of financial assets/expenses/debt etc. I am super privileged. I could grow old and retire early, and have that safety net.

    yet, there is no love. Sure, we can have deep conversations, and connect on several things and have common goals, our ambitions and all match, our intellect matches, everything is great....but again, no love. I dont feel seen/heard/understood by her, as its been a one-sided relationship from the get go. Together, on paper, we are great. but, no love.

    is it worth it to just keep on living like this?
    be in an open relationship? that wont work as outside of the house, i may be happy, but coming home to the same mess, and its the same cycle all over again.
    what is the cost of love? at one point is it considered insane? are my expectations too high? or are they tarnished by disney? is this as good as it gets?

    if so, whats keeping one from just cheating. if there is no love, then who cares?


    i'm just conflicted on so many levels.
     

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