SS Love and Relationships Thread

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by SevenStringSam, Jun 17, 2010.

  1. MFB

    MFB Banned

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    I mean, Facebook does now having a dedicated dating portion if I remember correctly? I think they added it either early this year or some time last year.

    Also, as gross as a dude is for messaging random chicks on FB, it's not like it paints her in a great light that her immediate reaction is to go to her friends with a screenshot of what may be an innocent "hi there" from a friend of a friend and be like "ohmygod look at thirsty fuckboi!"
     
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  2. cwhitey2

    cwhitey2 BlackendCrust Metal™

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    Yeah i have a friend that shares all of her "private" messages. People are fucking whacked.
     
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  3. DrakkarTyrannis

    DrakkarTyrannis

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    Nah. It's usually not just a message..but some dude being a fuckhead. If he didn't inbox her something worth laughing at, she wouldn't have anything to post. That's all his fault.

    Besides if you wanna to spark up a convo with a "friend of a friend" do it on main. Casual comments and whatnot then let it go from there. To just show up in a girl's inbox when she doesn't know who you are is a red flag for most women.
     
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  4. MFB

    MFB Banned

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    I had that realization right after I hit the post, it was like "wait, anyone smart enough to not get himself screenshot properly isn't the demo here," but like I said - post was hit and I committed to the comment :lol:
     
  5. DrakkarTyrannis

    DrakkarTyrannis

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    Well ya know. As long as you didn't make the first message. "I'ms lookin at dem tiddies" with a pic of your dick or something I'm sure it's fine.....unless you did..and then in that case, welp. At least you tried I guess?
     
  6. TedEH

    TedEH Cromulent

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    I'll +1 that. I've got some friends who post like to post the weird messages they get from dudes. I'm not a fan of it, but they do post it, and I do laugh at some of them.

    Unless you're on the dating part of facebook, reaching out to complete strangers is already on that line of weird for some people though. If I get messages or invites from random people I've never heard of, that's an instant delete. It's very.... red flag... ish?

    ^ This though.... not so bad, and I've done that - if I already knew the person. At that point you're just reaching out to someone who already has some context for a conversation. "Hey, we've talked at a mutual friends place a few times" is a huge jump from "I picked your face out of a random list of people on the internet who were otherwise minding their own business".
     
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  7. TheBolivianSniper

    TheBolivianSniper SS.org Regular

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    For clarification, I'm not trying to harass random people, I ended up with a ton of connections in high school/college so I've talked to a ton of people. There's only one good place to get with strangers and that's big social events (that aren't happening rn) when they're probably expecting it. Mostly just trying to catch up with people that I didn't give enough of a chance in high school/freshman year/quarantine since I was busy.

    Hopefully this wraps up all the discussion about it.
     
  8. DrakkarTyrannis

    DrakkarTyrannis

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    I'm speaking in generals. Using social media to connect with people, and scouring FB for anyone who will fuck you are two different things.

    I just happen to know lots of guys don't think popping up in a random stranger's inbox for a date is an odd thing..so I'm just trying to keep them from doing such a thing.
     
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  9. cwhitey2

    cwhitey2 BlackendCrust Metal™

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    Funny thing is, i have had girls randomly message me for dates :lol: i feel like they actually try to start a convo though before they get weird hahaha
     
  10. DrakkarTyrannis

    DrakkarTyrannis

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    If a girl does it that's one thing. Dudes give off creep vibes for doing it. It's best to chat on main before going to inbox.
     
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  11. broj15

    broj15 SS.org Regular

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    Yeah I feel like the classic "slide into the DM's" with no prior relationship with the person (no matter how trivial whether it's a few mutuals on the friends list or some interactions in the comments section) has almost a guaranteed 0% success rate. At that point your basically treating social media like it's tinder, except the other person didn't pick you out of the multitudes of people, so with that in mind it's even worse. That being said, it really doesn't apply if you're "hot". I'm sure that conventionally attractive white dudes have atleast a bit more success essentially cold calling equally conventionally attractive "trad" girls on social media, so if you fit that description then congrats.

    I've personally found that people who engage in that kind of behavior often don't have very meaningful and/or long term relationships though. And there's nothing wrong with that. If ppl wanna just hook up or do a FWB thing then good for them. But then again, if that's what you're after then at that point why not just use tinder?
    In my experience I feel like the only relationships I've had that last for any measurable amount of time, or were even remotely healthy always started off organically with face to face interaction & some sort of mutual interest, and I'm sure that's true for the vast majority of people who prefer a long term committed relationship.
     
  12. soliloquy

    soliloquy SS.org Regular

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    a few posts back, there was a discussion on love languages being silly.
    though i kind of agree, i mostly disagree with that sentiment. I see it in two folds, that yes, we all accept love in a different way (which the book and concept talk about), but what they dont talk about is how we GIVE love in return.

    for example, if you're in a relationship where you have a higher libido than your partner, to you, you need physical affection, and you see that as a big thing in a relationship. Your partner, on the other hand, may just want comfortable silence to feel fulfilled. in return, you may GIVE love by doing nice things, or buying gifts, where as they may GIVE love by saying nice things, and truely appreciating it.

    if the reward given is not valued, then regardless of how good the intentions are, you wont be satisfied.

    give me a gold chain, and i'll be confused by it. Give me a guitar, and i'll be happy. Give me kitchen knife, and i'll accept it, but give me a genuine compliment on the food i make, and i'll be happy.
     
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  13. Thaeon

    Thaeon Cosmic Question Asker

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    I don't randomly DM someone I follow unless its a response to something they've posted. And never with the intent of initiating a hookup (which seems inherently weird and creepy to me). With IG, or FB, I don't anticipate any interactions turning into romantic things or hookups. I guess I'm old school. I'd prefer to meet someone in person and feel it out that way. I also think that dating apps are intrinsically counter productive.
     
  14. Thaeon

    Thaeon Cosmic Question Asker

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    I think that most people look at the love languages thing in the inverse. It should be less about how you receive love, and more about understanding how your partner gives it and learning to accept that. But of course, people will flip the script, because one way requires self work, and the other way requires someone else to change to suit them. Most people will almost always choose the selfish path.

    You know, unless you're trying to be laughed at... I know a couple guys. One in particular just doesn't care. He friends every attractive girl he sees, and swipes right on every profile shown to him on Tinder. For him, its all about numbers and he just wants a hookup. Doesn't care who with.
     
  15. DrakkarTyrannis

    DrakkarTyrannis

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    I've always wanted to ask people like that wtf is wrong with them. Are they that lonely and desperate?
     
  16. Thaeon

    Thaeon Cosmic Question Asker

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    Nah, it the quantity over quality thing. Even if it’s just a hookup situations I’ll take quality over quantity. Even if it means waiting a while. Some people want 20 cheap guitars others would rather have 2 really nice ones.
     
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  17. TedEH

    TedEH Cromulent

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    Having a bit of a weird day. We all know I've been helping out my ex who injured herself a while back. We were having a random conversation and the topic somehow came up of those cases of "that guy she tells you not to worry about". I made the comment that I don't think I've ever dated anyone who didn't have at least one of these guys around whose intentions they stayed intentionally ignorant about. You know - the guy they tell you not to worry about it.

    At this point she gets defensive and makes a point of stopping me to say "you know, except for that one time you were wrong about my friend". As in, the dude we argued about a year ago. As in the dude that was a huge part of why I split us up. She proceeded to tell me a story about how as soon as I was out of the picture this same guy started making advances, which she rejected, multiple times, until he basically said "well, if that's not gonna happen, then I won't pretend to be your friend anymore" and then stopped speaking to her at all.

    So wait.... I wasn't wrong then. That's EXACTLY what I said was going to happen. My point a long time ago was that their friendship/relationship and the effort put into keeping me as far away from him as possible was incredibly inappropriate. The went out and partied and did drugs and went on roadtrips and junk that I was explicitly not allowed to join, despite the effort I had taken to try to be friendly with the guy.

    I dropped it when it was brought up last week, but this morning it somehow came up again and I kinda lost it. I re-iterated how blatant, ignorant, and hurtful her handling of the whole situation was last year, and that there was no ambiguity in that she has always been in the wrong about this. It was never strictly about whether or not I trusted her not to cheat, but that it was strictly about her unwillingness to engage with my discomfort with their clearly inappropriate actions.

    I fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinally got my point across this time. It only took more than a year. I got an apology out of it, which is nice. A year late maybe, but nice either way. Turned into a weird conversation.

    Uuuuuuuuuugh.
     
  18. cwhitey2

    cwhitey2 BlackendCrust Metal™

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    @TedEH been there, done that. It sucks when you're finally right/know the truth.


    Things in my love have actually been going my way for once :cool: I haven't really posted in here because I didn't want to jinx myself :lol:

    I have been hanging out with a girl for a couple months and now shes my GF and everything has been going great. Obviously we are still in the honeymoon phase, but we get along great. Best part is we have know each other for around 2 years, but neither of us ever really gave each other "a shot", so it's not awkward. She's a nurse so her schedule is all over the place, which is kinda nice, because we don't get stuck in any kind of routine.

    Side note since it was mentioned about the whole messaging on FB thing...as soon as I'm in a relationship, 2 girls hit me up just for sex because they just broke up with their BF's and "want to have fun". Which normally I would be all about, but now I have someone :lol: :wallbash: Like what are the odds hahaha
     
  19. DrakkarTyrannis

    DrakkarTyrannis

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    Pssst. Guys..if a girl wants to fuck you because she just broke up with her boyfriend. It's usually smart to avoid. There are far too many chaotic chicks who pull guys into such nonsense and it ends up being far more than you bargained for.
     
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  20. cwhitey2

    cwhitey2 BlackendCrust Metal™

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