SS Love and Relationships Thread

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by SevenStringSam, Jun 17, 2010.

  1. TedEH

    TedEH Cromulent

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    This was an interesting read.

    I'm with you on that one. I'm of the opinion that given the vast number of people out there, it's very likely that anyone might find a high number of people they are going to be compatible with. On some level, the idea of monogamy might be a bit arbitrary, but I think I understand the appeal of it.

    I think this is where our views would differ. Even if you take the view that monogamy is arbitrary, and people are imperfect, a relationship is a sort of social contract. Even an open relationship remains a social contract. There are still expectations and boundaries. To me, a willingness to break that contract is a line that you shouldn't cross - but I get that this is erring on the side of being harsh, and it's not a view for everyone. I know that I would not be able to handle starting a new kind of relationship with someone who already demonstrated a willingness to break trust in that way. Maybe you're a better person than me in this way.

    I don't think this is something you can really enforce. You can be very adamant, but you cannot force a person to communicate all of their thoughts to you. In the end, you're left in a position of trusting that everyone is being as honest and open as they say they are. I don't mean this to suggest that anyone is not doing so - but I would be careful that you don't kid yourself about how much control you have over that element.

    This has always been one of the things that turns me off of the idea of polygamy. People are messy. People get jealous or envious. People get competitive. Almost every relationship I've been involved in has had moments where people claimed to be ok with how you relate to other people, up until the point where they suddenly are not (and sometimes I'm the one guilty of that too). I can only imagine that the risk of that kind of drama goes up with each person you add into the equation.

    At the end of the day, this is the important part, IMO. If you're happy, then I'm happy for you.
     
    soliloquy likes this.
  2. Adieu

    Adieu SS.org Regular

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    Kinda sounds like the wife did some DIY improv damage control... of the bullshit, duct tape, and WD40 variety
     

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