SS Love and Relationships Thread

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by SevenStringSam, Jun 17, 2010.

  1. Obsidian Soul

    Obsidian Soul SS.org Regular

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    In their defense,it took more effort and time for you to take the picture,upload it,and make the post.
     
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  2. High Plains Drifter

    High Plains Drifter SS.org Regular

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    Well certainly... That's the reoccurring trend here.
     
  3. TedEH

    TedEH Cromulent

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    There are two things stuck on my mind that are kind of fitting for this thread.

    One is the thought that as I get older, my social circles seem to be shrinking. Not just shrinking though - like they're actively becoming more distant. I have bandmates, coworkers, and.... the occasional old high school friend, and that's mostly it. And even within those people, there's not much of the day-to-day "I had a dumb thought, I need to text this to someone" kind of friends. The idea of it always kind of stings around this time of year, since holidays are all about families and close connections, and then it leads into my birthday coming up -> Which I realize is kind of juvenile to put much stock into, but it's a day that sort of punctuates those kinds of observations about who you keep around you. I've invited a bunch of people over that day, and I'll count myself lucky if any of them show up.

    I also had a moment of.... bravery? Stupidity? I don't know which one, but I had a moment last night. I was talking very briefly with someone online who is a friend of a friend, made this sort of connection in my head after the conversation that "oh shit, I've got a lot in common with this lady" and decided it was a great idea to drop a "hey, what would you say to the idea of a coffee date or something?" ....silence. Nothing but silence, because of course. :lol: Thanks to the miracle of technology, I know the message wasn't seen until this morning, but now I just feel like a fool. A brave fool, maybe. Are fools brave by definition? Maybe not. I have this lingering feeling of "this is not how you're supposed to do that", and it's distracting me from working this morning.

    Oh well.
     
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  4. c7spheres

    c7spheres GuitArtist

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    I would say that's exactly how you're supposed to do that. You made the connection of having a lot in common with her and you jumped on the oppotunity to try to hit her up for a date without procrastination or second guessing. You went with your gut and did it. I'd say matbe you've turned a new leaf. If for some strange reason she dont want to go out just rinse and repeat the next time you get that feeling.
     
  5. TedEH

    TedEH Cromulent

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    I mean, it seems on principle to have been the right idea, but this is now going on 9 hours-ish of silence. Is that normal? I have no idea. It reads to me like a "no". It feels like if she really had any interest, there would have been an immediate something. I put myself right back into that waiting situation that I previously said was grueling. :lol: I was reaaaaaally hoping for a quick "yeh, why not" or the polite "thanks, but no thanks" and it would just be over. Simple. Easy. Move on.

    Days like this are not so good for the ego.
     
  6. c7spheres

    c7spheres GuitArtist

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    Seems pretty normal to me. I never try to figure women out with this stuff. She might be thinking about it. Maybe she wants to make you sweat about it a bit. maybe she's checking with her freinds about it. Maybe she's waiting how long until you message her about it and wants to see how you handle it. That's why you just gotta be you, and do you. I'd give her at least a day or two to reply though. She may have had plans and then had to sleep, work etc and just doesn't have time to think about it yet. I'd just take it in stride. Ball is in her court. If you keep throwing balls in her court it could be a turn off.
     
  7. TedEH

    TedEH Cromulent

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    ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    :lol:
     
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  8. TedEH

    TedEH Cromulent

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    It really does seem like too long a time though.... like... is it not rude to just completely ignore a message for a full day or two? I'm talking not even acknowledging that the message happened kind of thing. Like being ghosted, basically.

    It's insanely tempting to just go back to the message and reply myself with something like "I'll just take the silence as a no" and move on. Cause this just feels stupid to me.

    Even if she is very busy, which I don't doubt... is it that much to ask for the 30 seconds to go "hey, I'll get back to you" or something. Someone who really was interested at all could find the 30 seconds in the day.
     
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  9. c7spheres

    c7spheres GuitArtist

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    You're probably right, but I just don't find anyone in todays' age respectful when it comes to communicating via texts or getting back to voice mails, emails etc. (I know, who uses those last two still, right?) I gauge things more by how the person normally behaves. I wouldn't make assumptions or accusations if you feel the need to get back to her. I'd probably get back to her with something vague like; "What's up?" or less vague and repeat "What's up, so you wanna get some coffee sometime?", if you were to text back.
    - I'm personally really easy going, so if you're feeling like wanting an answer I'd probably call her and talk to her and just straight up ask her.
    - IME, most women want to be chased and fusses over a little bit.
    - If she's really easy going and cool and you're on really good terms already then you could tell her. Say; "Hey women I'm takin you out on Friday. I'll pick you up at 8:00." This alpha male bs works pretty well for some girls. I wouldn't recommend it. It's toxciity waiting to happen, but it can get results. : )

    - Your original gut feeling for what to text her back saying "I'll just take the silence as a no" and move on. Cause this just feels stupid to me." is a good play. It's a power play and forces things to move either way pretty fast. It's like a passive agreesive alpha male approach but not overtly agressive. Maybe go with your gut? It's to hard to tell not knowing anything about her.
    - I'm no expert and just throwing a bunch of ideas and opinions out there. Only you can really feel out the situation and how you want to behave. Just trying to give different options and perspectives to you. Hope I'm helping more than not.
     
  10. TedEH

    TedEH Cromulent

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    Realistically, it's 100% realistic and plausible that she just sort of... forgot? I assume she worked today. I'm probably pretty low on the list of things she's thinking about at the moment. That's.... ok, I guess?

    I hate that kind of stuff. I really do. One of my exes once left me for a few days so that I would chase after her. I didn't chase her- instead I literally packed her things and told her to find another place to live. :lol:

    I have no confidence that this would work. I'm amused by the idea, but I really doubt that would work in my favor.

    But I don't want to "make plays"... I just want to be treated decently. I feel burned out from playing games with people right now. If I'm making any kind of "power play" it's not because I'm trying to be aggressive, it's just because I want to get to the end of the interaction. That's it.
     
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  11. TedEH

    TedEH Cromulent

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    I'm excited for the day where I never need to post in this thread again. :lol:
     
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  12. c7spheres

    c7spheres GuitArtist

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    I hate all that kind of stuff too. I don't think anyone wants to make plays or even look at things in this light, but you're talking about a unicorn. I want a unicorn too. They're just really rare and special. I hope you find one someday as long as it's not the same one I'm looking for : )
     
  13. TedEH

    TedEH Cromulent

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    Aaaaaaaaaaaaand I just learned that the plans I had for my birthday are falling apart. Nobody has any communication skills.

    I think I'm going to have a drink, play some video games and just go to bed. This day needs to be over.
     
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  14. TedEH

    TedEH Cromulent

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    I think..... I may have overreacted and feel like a fool now. :lol:

    I went back and sent another message along the lines of "I'll take the silence as a no then". Immediately get a reply that basically says "oh no, I had typed an answer and just forgot to hit enter, but sure, sounds good."

    Conversation moves on to the whole when are you available thing.

    I am a fool. I need to get some sleep.
     
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  15. Spaced Out Ace

    Spaced Out Ace 0 0 1 0 0 6 5 0 3\

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    Ted, a "Hey, no pressure. Just thought it might be a fun way to spend an hour or two." next time might be better. That way it's more laid back and easy going than, "I'll take that as a no then."
     
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  16. TedEH

    TedEH Cromulent

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    ^ You're not wrong. :lol: Lessons have been learned.
     
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  17. SamSam

    SamSam GAS problems

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    Just send a polite message saying it's ok to say no thank you? If she's thinking no but is worried she'll upset you just ease off the potential tension and be cool.
     
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  18. TedEH

    TedEH Cromulent

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    Well.... we had made some plans that were supposed to be tonight. Aaaand she bailed this morning.

    :(

    ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
     
  19. Spaced Out Ace

    Spaced Out Ace 0 0 1 0 0 6 5 0 3\

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    Sorry to hear that, bud.
     
  20. TedEH

    TedEH Cromulent

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    I'm gonna go out anyway... cause I gatta get out of the house for a while. :lol:...?
     
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