Thanks for the positivity/validation y'all. It was a difficult decision and it kinda sucks right now but I know I did what was best for everyone in the long run. I showed a friend of mine some our texts last night of things that my ex said to me and they said that from the outside looking in it was definitely a verbally/emotionally abusive situation, which it's good to feel validation about. Honestly I feel like I had been so gaslit by my ex that I was starting to think that I was the crazy one. Not trying to say that I'm not without my own faults, because I definitely am, but I try to express my emotions as best as I can without putting to much or placing undeserved blame on the other person. On a more positive note, I just saw a fresh job posting for one of my favorite restaurants that's just a few blocks away from my house. I'm in there atleast twice a week and the owner doesn't know me by name, but she knows what I eat and I'm always super friendly to thier staff so hopefully that works out in my favor. Fingers crossed.