A while back I decided that "selfish" isn't inherently bad. It's often healthy to be "selfish". It's often important to focus on yourself. I'm also of the opinion that "family" doesn't have to mean much. You get to decide for yourself what your relationship with people is on an emotional level, regardless of how you're physically related. Do your own thing, do what you need to do, be your own person, and be selfish if that's what that means. Doesn't make you a bad person by any stretch. Good. You have a goal. Stick with that. To hell with anyone who gets in the way of that.