SS Love and Relationships Thread

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by SevenStringSam, Jun 17, 2010.

  1. MFB

    MFB ExBendable

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    OK, but then why not suggest just being coy instead of saying "hey, fake like you're drunk and insincere"? Because if I'm having someone ask me about my feelings for them, why would I tell them if they're just acting insincere?
     
  2. Adieu

    Adieu SS.org Regular

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    That's the pitfall of such a plan of attack

    Retrospective encounters have proven, with absolutely no shadow of a doubt, that this puzzling behavior is NOT necessarily a form of gentle letdown, but can ALSO be a frighteningly common and extremely facepalmy female attempt at flirtation

    Apparently the "correct" response (IF you're hopeful) is to push through like a bull in a china shop and pretty much signal "I don't care that I'm making an ass of myself or wrecking any chance of resuming a comfortable status quo friendship" to any and all concerned, because.... APPARENTLY... "I don't care about our friendship, the D wants what the D wants" is the correct caveman signal ("sooo romantic" lol) that her instincts yearn for.

    HOWEVER... it can also be a gentle letdown. Though, apparently, far less often than you might be led to expect.
     
  3. TedEH

    TedEH Cromulent

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    I'm not 16 anymore, I have no desire for those kinds of games. If I can't just be honest and expect honesty back, then how should I expect to build anything from that?
     
  4. MFB

    MFB ExBendable

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    This is the right answer.
     
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  5. Adieu

    Adieu SS.org Regular

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    Courting is like etiquette. There's baffling rules and they're unavoidable.

    Honesty is the same calibre faux pas as grabbing a chicken by the leg and gnawing on it cuz you're hungry... it seems so damn logical, but it just ain't done.
     
  6. TedEH

    TedEH Cromulent

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    I think we're gonna have to agree to disagree on all of that. All of the best dating situations I've been in came out of being entirely honest about what I wanted at the time.
     
  7. KnightBrolaire

    KnightBrolaire Pointy Gang

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    yeahh... disregard the "lul just play fuck fuck games like you're in high school still" quips. The only thing to lie to women about is 1. how much you spend on guitars/gear and 2. whether they look fat or not in an outfit (also applies if they ask if they look ugly in an outfit). Sometimes it's better if they don't know the truth :lol:
     
  8. Konfyouzd

    Konfyouzd has left the building Contributor

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    There's a degree of playing coy that doesn't require the part that feels like a game. There are ways to friendly poke fun at ppl and just genuinely have fun with them that'll sometimes let you know.

    Body language... How close they position themselves to you...

    A lot of those things become more apparent the more comfortable someone is with you. And they're not always conscious decisions.

    Immediately going for the score can close that door. Women are well aware of the dumb, "Trick her into loving you," crap--at least any one worth thinking this much about is.
     
  9. c7spheres

    c7spheres GuitArtist

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    I think she likes you too. Just go back to your friendship with her and build on that. Let nature take it's course. You've let her know how you feel and in time she will come to you as long as you keep being you and don't try to push her into anything, but still occasionally remind her you're into her (like once every couple weeks in a subtle way). She will process everything and figure it out and eventually make her own move towards you. She may even have a guy or two in between. This isn't uncommon. People need time to process and figure out things and make sure how they feel sometimes. It's not uncommon to weigh out other options too. The fact she's texting you the next morning is a good sign and means she either really is serious about you and is figuring it out, or after a month or two from now will basically be avoiding you or having very little contact at all with you. This is where to just back off and let her bring things up. The ball is in her court. Oh, btw, texting sucks.
     
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  10. MetalHex

    MetalHex SS.org Regular

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    Id rather be rejected than eternally freindzoned. Just be up front and honest and worst case scenario is you lose a "friend" (quotations because we know you want to be more than friends)
     
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  11. Konfyouzd

    Konfyouzd has left the building Contributor

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    One-hundred-fucking-percent. :yesway:

    My father told me when I was very young, "If you feel a certain way about someone, it's always worth it to let them know. The worst that can happen is that things will stay as they are." (I believe that in some cases it's worthwhile to suspend this rule in the event that your feelings toward someone are less than amicable :lol: )

    Most people don't want to admit it, but we are usually the biggest factor in our own disappointment. It's either a matter of setting our own expectations too high or failing to follow through on what we want for fear of an unknown outcome.
     
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  12. TedEH

    TedEH Cromulent

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    I'd be lying if I said I hadn't sort of mentally graphed out all the possible outcomes in my head, given the context I have to work with.
    The very worst case scenario I can picture realistically happening is that I'm in the same boat I was 3 months ago, mostly just going about our lives as if the other doesn't exist.
    I don't think that's going to happen though.
     
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  13. TedEH

    TedEH Cromulent

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    I just had a weird moment where one of my own songs came on - something that I never put out there cause I thought the lyrics were no good, but recent events have kind of re-framed those lyrics and they're weirdly relevant today. :lol:
     
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  14. Obsidian Soul

    Obsidian Soul SS.org Regular

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    I will understand if this makes me the villain,but always taking the moral high ground is not always the best option.Also,I've had situations where I did as TedEH did,and the girl dropped communication with me after my failed attempt.I don't think it's a douchebag move;I feel like it's more of a save face.

    As c7spheres said,I would just build upon what you two have and keep your mouth shut.People are already thinking you two are a couple,so you best believe she's already thinking it over.I'd just play it by ear.
     
  15. Konfyouzd

    Konfyouzd has left the building Contributor

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    Reading Adieu's posts again, I don't think what he's saying is as bad as it sounds when you consider the way it's worded.

    I think of a lot of women I know of that have been married for a long time and a common theme among them when they talk about their husband is, "I thought he was kind of obnoxious when I first met him."

    That said, I would not try to be a pain in the ass intentionally. :lol:
     
  16. Adieu

    Adieu SS.org Regular

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    Why???

    Unless you're from Utah or the Middle East AND both rich and mellow-yet-dominant enough to maintain a functioning harem (or a sneaky player compulsive liar with a raging sex addiction), your social circle could be much bigger than your intimate circle

    Just because you could see yourself getting with someone doesn't mean you HAVE to
     
  17. MFB

    MFB ExBendable

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    So... let me guess this straight, rather than tell someone how you feel about them in the chances of having that thing you want with them, and if it doesn't work out at least you have the knowledge and ability to no longer say "what if..." - you would rather say nothing, play games like a teenager, and stay as "friends" (which is a bullshit label because you're only hanging on in hopes of getting action despite never letting her know your intentions), just so you can have ...more friends?
     
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  18. Adieu

    Adieu SS.org Regular

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    I'm not 13

    I don't HAVE to try to get with every attractive interesting woman with a pleasant personality that I come across, or make an agonizing personal drama of a perfectly good non-sexual relationship

    Chicks are people too (shocking! I KNOW~)
     
  19. MetalHex

    MetalHex SS.org Regular

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    This.

    Also he obviously has spent enough time with her to know that there is something there more than just face-value...

    He would be kicking himself for a long time if he doesnt jump on the opportunity....I dont think he would be kicking himself if she rejected him though.....considering what he really wants....so its worth the shot
     
  20. MFB

    MFB ExBendable

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    So far, none of this has been about casual hook-ups with dozens of random attractive women, these are just one particular woman that is intended to turn into something more. Where are you getting the idea that this is a numbers game?
     

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