SS Love and Relationships Thread

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by SevenStringSam, Jun 17, 2010.

  1. squids

    squids .

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    Thanks dude (and broj15, your advice really hit me in the feels)

    You guys are both right. I think i've just been stressed out with school and i guess part of me feels like i kinda accentuate the problems, and so i was feeling like things needed room to breathe but yeah we don't see eachother super often so idk why i was thinking that.
    we had a long talk last night about it, and i felt awful because her plan was to start taking some sort of medication in order to help control it, and here i am coming into it like "maybe we should just be apart". it is for better or for worse and this just seems to be one of those "for worse" times, but like you guys said, no sense just abandoning her to fend for herself. i feel like such a dummy haha.
     
  2. bostjan

    bostjan MicroMetal Contributor

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    What about taking a day vacation together to do something you both enjoy, but something that will keep her mind off of whatever is bothering her? Go to the ocean or hiking in the forest or skiing or something. You're in Northern Cali, right? There should be lots of stuff you can do. I don't think you want to overdo it, but maybe something that breaks up the monotony a little, even something new to both of you, might be refreshing. If nothing else, you both might get to blow off a little steam.
     
  3. squids

    squids .

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    This is really funny to me b/c i actually try to stay active/busy so im always at the beach or mountain biking or going for hikes and so of course she comes along when we do hang out.
    Ive been on spring break this week and so we're seeing eachother again tonight, gonna try and go do something different haha.
     
  4. ASoC

    ASoC Downpicker \m/

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    Just popping in for some good news: I went to the Periphery concert here in St.Louis with a girl from my English class and we had a great time. We've been texting pretty much non stop for a little over a week, so I think I have a new girlfriend. We haven't really discussed what our relationship is, but I'm really into her and it seems pretty clear that she's really into me :yesway:
     
  5. ATOMICxTomato

    ATOMICxTomato SS.org Regular

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    So i screwed myself emotionally as I usually seem to do lol. Me and the 1st chick still talk a whole lot, especially since we work in the same department and I have gotten to far into my feels. Shoulda have ran away when I got the chance lol. While I have accecpted and kinda moved on i still have feelings for her. She has pretty bad anxiety and seems that she still dooesnt know what she wants. She keeps saying that shes probably better off alone and not fit for a relationship but me being me am always trying to comfort her and what not. Also turns out her boyfriend is jelous of me....well hell she is the one that litteraly texts me everyday...but im always eager to respond. I think i really just need to try to move on....
     
  6. flint757

    flint757 SS.org Regular

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    Yes, you should move on. Your current experience almost mirrors one I went through about 4 years ago exactly. It damaged me beyond repair and she never intended to be with me.
     
  7. MFB

    MFB ExBendable

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    Well, I think it's safe to say that our relationship is over, even as friends

    Can't really pin where it started exactly, but I think for a while, I put off telling her because I knew that if she didn't feel the same way; it was just our handful of mutual enjoyments keeping us together, and that wouldn't be enough, so I could just fade out of the picture so to speak.

    Then that time came when I told her, and after I started to look at her without those 'goal goggles' on, and little things crept in on me and I knew no matter how much I tried to help her, those things were never going to change - and I didn't want to keep living in that rut of friendship. So our texts became less frequent (which she always initiated because she was always the one doing interesting things worth discussing), and my responses became colder, until eventually it wasn't worth texting.

    It's sad really, but that's reality
     
  8. ATOMICxTomato

    ATOMICxTomato SS.org Regular

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    Seems to be harder than i thought it would be...and I keep doing it to myself. Dam this really sucks, since she has been going through this whole depression thing I feel like I need to be there. I guest I just feel that maybe Ill win her over some way, but at the same time I don't see her breaking up with her boyfriend. Maybe because I feel she might feel the same way idk honestly.
     
  9. flint757

    flint757 SS.org Regular

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    While you could be the lone exception, in my experience she will likely not leave her boyfriend. You need to get some emotional distance. If later down the road they break up maybe then try to initiate something. Never wait around to be someone's second choice. Don't devalue your self worth by allowing her to do so either.
     
  10. ATOMICxTomato

    ATOMICxTomato SS.org Regular

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    Yea i was honestly thinking the same. It would be much easier for mecto move on if I probably didnt work directly with her, but ill find a way. Sucks that just as I was getting back into weight lifting, which really helped clear my mind and helped motivate me, i seem to have tore something and gotten a hernia lol. But thanks for the insight cause it really is what i need to do.
     
  11. youngthrasher9

    youngthrasher9 SS.org Regular

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    The weirdness that was my night after work this evening is honestly hard to believe and really really hard to explain. There was women. There was me. I was locked in a car with them, and nothing remotely sexual happened. I can't even begin
     
  12. chassless

    chassless Don'tDeserveMyGuitar

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    was there grammar ?
     
  13. TheHandOfStone

    TheHandOfStone E♭M7(♭5)

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  14. youngthrasher9

    youngthrasher9 SS.org Regular

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    Nope.

    Not even a little.
     
  15. UnderTheSign

    UnderTheSign SS.org Regular

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    So you sat in the car with someone like a lot of normal people do?
     
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  16. Alberto7

    Alberto7 Sillygoose Engineering

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    I have the new website update to thank for bumping this up to the top of my feed lol but I'm sad to hear this man. I remember you talking about this over the course of the last couple or so years on this thread. I've been there, and still going through that with the infamous ex-roommate I talked about quite a bit the last couple years. It sucks, but it's gotta happen. Can't have your cake and it too, in a way? You'll get over it. C'est la vie. Have some e-brohugs sent your way.
     
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  17. russmuller

    russmuller Cramblin' Contributor

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    Well it's been a while since I stopped in here, but the Montana girl and I are now officially an item. We've continued to talk daily all these months so I took a week off work and flew up there to meet her and see what it's like when we're together in real life. It was a truly wonderful time. We really clicked together on so many different levels. She's smart, and funny, and chill, and I just loved how at-ease and truly "myself" I could be around her. I'm heading back up there again in July, and hopefully in the fall she'll come visit the desert and see what my life is like.

    If things continue on this trajectory, I expect I'll move up there eventually because she wants to stay near her mother (whose health is dubious) and I'm kind of tired of living in the desert. The timing will be largely determined by employment opportunities. It'll probably be 2 years before a relocation like that (done properly) is feasible for me.

    Fortunately there's a small airline that has very affordable flights between us, which works out to be not much more expensive than normal dating if one of use flies out for a weekend each month. I never imagined I'd be in a situation like this, but I'm okay with it. We're taking things slow and being sensible. I'm excited about what the future holds.
     
  18. Spaced Out Ace

    Spaced Out Ace 0 0 1 0 0 6 5 0 3\

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    No love and relationships for me at the moment, thanks. But I am in love with this banana nut bread a co-worker's wife made me. The new Rat is also quite a love affair as well.
     
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  19. MFB

    MFB ExBendable

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    At this point in time, I'm pretty much past it and the only time I think about it is when something of hers pops up on Facebook, but the last text was when I got my promotion in the beginning of April, then two weeks before that, and maybe a month before that; so it waned over time, and now here I am. There was one little bit that felt like she was trying to jab at me without saying it, as she had some thing about wanting to do 'rad stuff with rad people' and I shrugged it off and just figured that didn't make me a rad person. Oh well.
     
  20. youngthrasher9

    youngthrasher9 SS.org Regular

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    Actually no.

    Here's what happened:
    Friday night i was getting off work, and this girl I work with texted me and told me to come talk to her at her station. This is the same girl I asked out a few weeks back, we never figured out how to go out around our schedules.

    Come to find out, she wants me to help her find this other chick that works with us who just ran out of the building balling. Says we'll give her a ride home. (Basically it sounds like she doesn't want to deal with this crying chick by herself)

    I hop in girl #1's car (we'll call her pizza girl), and we take off and find the other chick in a parking lot, just a mess. She's sobbing. Pizza girl's like "ok we're going to take to that quiet place you told me about to calm down"

    Well, neither one has been there at night. They're having a hard time finding it. Come to find out, it's a cemetery. Ok cool. Well, we end up driving all over 3 different counties. Weaving through the buttes, etc... for like 2 hours. They're up front and I'm locked in the back listening to them. Occasionally joining in. Finally we find the cemetery. We're barely in service again. I call my mom to tell her I'm gonna be home later.
    Me:"This sounds really stupid, but I'm not getting into any trouble or anything,..."
    mom: "where are you"
    Me: "outside a cemetery with some coworkers"
    Mom: *laughs nervously and hysterically* "I love you bye."

    After I hang up we walk in the cemetery. Walked in about 30 yards. All was fine until a mountain lion let loose a scream what sounded like probably 20 yards away.

    I'm like "f*** this, we're leaving"

    We walked and drove around a little bit more to calm the other chick down and find out why she's so upset.

    Turns out she had a bit of break down from work stress, mainly because her family shamed her out of taking her meds.

    I was like "you are gonna start taking your meds again, even if you have to hide it or take them at work"

    And that's the weirdest night I've had in a long time.
     

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