Sometimes I Just Want It To End!

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BlackSG91

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The 1980's was filled with bullshit music...my life changed when Nirvana came...Kurt Cobain is my musical saviour...He is my mentor.





;>)/
 

A-Branger

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try a new hobbie, take dance lessons (for example). I love metal and play metal, but I love lating dancing. And this is my way to socialize and meet people, its my little buble of happiness. 1 day classes a week (or two if I wanna learn a different style) and theres always 1-3 social parties on the weekends

Im the type whos really reserved, if I go to a bar no-one would ever talk to me, and I cant for the sake of anything start talking to someone in a bar, park, anything. But with dancing I can jsut dance and done, no neex to talk at all, but that breaks the ice, and after a few socials you start to see familiar faces and you start conecting with people.

I spend most of my days alone at home, I go surfing when I can or hiking, but dancing fills that gap of social touch, it clears my mind and it gives me a reason to keep going and something to look forward to

try something liek that, a new hobbie a new activity (pref something that can be used socialy), lets say go and play squash, get a lesson and then find some groups online of poeple who would get togheter for a socail game on teh weekend.

this would give you a new exiting thing to learn, something to look forward, something that would shorten your week, becasue the class might be on tuesday, so you wont longer be sad about the weekend finish becasue now you got tuesday thing happening. It would make you wanna learn more about it, research and learn.

also joing some online music groups in your area, see if they got open mic stuff, find some people to jam with. keep playing your music, but also search for that new hobbie, something that its YOURS, that only YOU have control over, not something someone forced you to do, or draged you into. Something thats yours to do

its never too late to learn new things and start over
 
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Echoing the suggestion that you seek professional help ASAP.

Exercise and other lifestyle changes can have some long-term benefit, but they are no substitute for professional intervention, especially if you are having a crisis.


This, all this. Martial arts, healthy life style, yoga and all physical/social activities (dance included as suggested by @A-Branger) are functional in a long term experience, say, at least 1 year for them to start to kick in. Nevertheless, start something like this as soon as possible along side with specialized counseling...
 

mastapimp

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My wife is a psychologist and she's helped many abuse/assault survivors through very dark times and depression. A lot of folks start in a pit of despair but over time with the right counseling can get back to normal and lead very happy lives. Please seek help, you're not alone!
 

bostjan

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I hope you are doing better.

I, myself, was twice in a situation where I had considered snuffing it. I'm glad that I didn't. Someday you'll also be glad. If you envision your life as you'd prefer it to be, you can make surprising strides to get there.

Sometimes life can feel really lonely, especially when a lot of people are around, but there's still always comfort in all crevices of life if you know where to look.

Please be safe.
 

Groff

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Dusting off this account to reply.

Just this friday I finished a 3 year stint seeing a therapist. I cannot recommend therapy enough. You may have to try different therapists if ones not working out (took me 2 tries to find one I liked). I went from a broken and beaten wreck of a person to OK. That doesn't mean I'm not happy, but for the first time in my life I feel good. I had some past trauma to work though (Not going to elaborate, it's irrelevant to compare what I went through vs anyone else, it's not a contest), and honestly it was hard as heck. There were some therapy sessions I left that had me so drained I needed a nap, but that's not a bad thing. It's an uphill battle for sure but seeking out help is something I advocate for. It saved my life.

I really hope you find a path to healing that works for you. Our brains are funny things, especially with anything that happens during childhood. I grew up scared, and in full survival mode 100% of the time. I wasn't safe at school, I wasn't safe at home... It took me too long to seek help but it's never to late to do so. I've just turned 37, and i'm finally able to control myself, as well as finding medication to control my Bipolar which has changed my life.

I hope you too find peace someday, we all deserve it.
 

BlackSG91

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I did see an addiction counsellor in the past for alcohol abuse. She was very nice and all but she started asking how many times I think about sex? She just looked at me and I did not know what to say....so basically it did not work out well. She somewhat scared me and I avoided any more appointments. I have had not any real success with councillors...not good!


;>)/
 

High Plains Drifter

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Finding a therapist or counselor that you jive with and subsequently feel comfortable with, often takes multiple tries. I hope that you currently have a willingness and an ability to find one that you feel safe confiding in. I've been to therapists and counselors that I absolutely loved and they helped me greatly. And I've been to others that I felt were fighting me from the get go. It's so important to find someone that you trust and that you're able to be honest with.

And by the way... It's good to see you today!
 

xzyryabx

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Suicide a permanent solution to what is likely a surmountable problem.
It WILL get better. Depression messes with you and makes you think it won't, but IT WILL.
Might have to deal with a few issues to get to the bottom of it and it may not be easy but hang in there and you will get through this.
 

possumkiller

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Girl, you can't let other motherfuckers dictate your feelings. Especially creepy, perverted old shitbag white men. There is nothing wrong with you. It's them who have a problem and should be contemplating ending it all. My father is a child molester. My mother's father was a child molester. My grandmother defended my father when my sister told my mom he molested her. She told my mother that her father and brothers were always fooling around with her and her sister because it was just normal and part of growing up. My mother was molested by her father. Her half sister was also molested by their father as well as friends she would bring home from school. I had my father, stepbrother, and cousin try to do some gay shit to me when I was a kid. Those people are fucked up. Not me. I was worried that because it was so widespread through my family that maybe I would grow up to be a child molester as well. I've got two boys and so far I've made it 38 years in life without molesting a single child. I found out that all it takes to not be a child molester is to not molest children. It's pretty fucking easy if you don't have some kind of mental problems.

Don't let shitheads bring you down. You just keep being you and keep making the memes thread classy!
 

USMarine75

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Have you contacted a mental health professional yet?
 

BlackSG91

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SHIT, you guys make me feel I live in a sweet cotton cloud... you all rock big time, you have my deepest respect. All of you.

@BlackSG91 mind me asking if your profile info is correct? Just checking and positioning my ideas in place.

Oh...I don't understand about profile info? I don't understand...thanks. You can ask.


;>)/
 
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Oh...I don't understand about profile info? I don't understand...thanks. You can ask.
;>)/

Just asking about your profile here in the Sevenstring.org forum under the "information" folder, nothing more and nowhere else. Only asking if it corresponds to reality or if it was... creatively filled...

For example, I haven't posted personal details of me, besides some videos you can see on youtube and facebook, I'm incognito...
 
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TedEH

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That's not how a mother should behave
I'm a bit late to the thread, but this part of the conversation reminds me of a friend of mine - someone I've been talking to who was raised in an abusive environment - and some of the comments here strike some similar chords. This friend of mine took a long time to realize that her own upbringing was not normal - when you're in an environment like that for long enough, I guess there's some kind of conditioning or acclimating to that mode of living. She just assumed that the abuse she endured was just a part of life that everyone weathers - and there was a moment of realization, a sort of eye-opening that people can be decent and that you don't have to just endure whatever crap people throw at you and that there's zero shame in choosing to cut out what and who brings you down and to get help from what and who is willing to support you properly.

There's some truth to the idea that life in general can be a challenge, but it's also true that the means to thrive are out there - surround yourself with people who want you to be happy and to succeed, therapy is a valuable tool and not a punishment, and you don't owe anyone anything.
 

BlackSG91

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Just asking about your profile here in the Sevenstring.org forum under the "information" folder, nothing more and nowhere else. Only asking if it corresponds to reality or if it was... creatively filled...

For example, I haven't posted personal details of me, besides some videos you can see on youtube and facebook, I'm incognito...

I'm sorry but I still not completely understand...I will answer your question the best I can.


;>)/
 
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