Echoing the suggestion that you seek professional help ASAP.
Exercise and other lifestyle changes can have some long-term benefit, but they are no substitute for professional intervention, especially if you are having a crisis.
Oh...I don't understand about profile info? I don't understand...thanks. You can ask.
I'm a bit late to the thread, but this part of the conversation reminds me of a friend of mine - someone I've been talking to who was raised in an abusive environment - and some of the comments here strike some similar chords. This friend of mine took a long time to realize that her own upbringing was not normal - when you're in an environment like that for long enough, I guess there's some kind of conditioning or acclimating to that mode of living. She just assumed that the abuse she endured was just a part of life that everyone weathers - and there was a moment of realization, a sort of eye-opening that people can be decent and that you don't have to just endure whatever crap people throw at you and that there's zero shame in choosing to cut out what and who brings you down and to get help from what and who is willing to support you properly.That's not how a mother should behave
Just asking about your profile here in the Sevenstring.org forum under the "information" folder, nothing more and nowhere else. Only asking if it corresponds to reality or if it was... creatively filled...
For example, I haven't posted personal details of me, besides some videos you can see on youtube and facebook, I'm incognito...