"Not Worth its own thread" Thread

High Plains Drifter

... drifting...
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Fuck that fork, holy shit lmao
After finding this infant safety utensil in my yard a long time ago, I intended to just throw it out. But I kept having this "vision" that such a thing could really be taken to a whole new level of efficiency with a bit of modification. So I held on to it for a few years, considering that maybe some day I'd be bored and in need of a unique project, enough to give it a little flair. Last week I found it in a box of old weird crap and figured that since I needed a break from the typical home-renovation/ landscape/ repair projects, that I'd mess around with it.

I'm pretty happy with the result and man, the sales-pitch writes itself!

> Revolutionary Engagement Barbs- Are you tired of traditional utensils slipping out of baby's mouth and spilling food all over the floor? Not any more! Baby's First Metal Fork reduces that risk by securely latching onto inside of baby's cheek and assuring that the fork only comes out when good and god-damn ready.

> Precision Morsel Targeting Tines- Ever seen how blunt most baby forks are? Well with safety in mind, Baby's First Metal Fork utilizes precision ground razor sharp tines to pierce even the most unruly plated peas and carrots... minimizing the risk of veggies becoming lethal projectiles... rocketing off the plate and taking out baby's eye. Rest easy, mom & dad!

> Honed Serrated Edges- When baby needs a little assistance managing that porterhouse steak or stuffed jalapeno, parents can simply let Baby's First Metal Fork do all the work! Sharp serrations allow your bundle of joy to cut each piece as large or as small as they want. Say bye-bye to this tedious parental chore and say hello to your toddler's independence!

> Innovative Slow Chew Technology- If your little one has a habit of inhaling food down their gullet, Baby's First Metal Fork will reduce that dangerous tendency by reminding them that eating can be a painful experience if not done properly, slowly, and above all else... very very carefully. A utensil that can teach manners AND self-control? You betcha!

> 2-n-1 Eat & Defend Design- If your baby is used to the trauma of having its food stolen, Baby's First Metal Fork greatly diminishes that risk by doubling as an instant weapon to fend off hungry would-be thieves. Opportunistic pets? Malnourished siblings? Better think twice cause baby ain't fuckin' around now!
 

wheresthefbomb

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My cat had a vet appointment today, his toe got damaged a little over a week ago and has become infected. He got antibiotics and antinausea to help him keep his food down. I was very worried about him but doc was not worried which made me feel a lot better. He is home and doing fine, but on the way home I hit a duck with my car and killed it. There were two ducks, I'm pretty sure I killed somebody's summer love. Circle of life I guess, but I was and I am really sad about it.
 

bostjan

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My cat had a vet appointment today, his toe got damaged a little over a week ago and has become infected. He got antibiotics and antinausea to help him keep his food down. I was very worried about him but doc was not worried which made me feel a lot better. He is home and doing fine, but on the way home I hit a duck with my car and killed it. There were two ducks, I'm pretty sure I killed somebody's summer love. Circle of life I guess, but I was and I am really sad about it.
Would some dark humour help?
 

Heretick

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I was looking at pickups today and it hit me how stupid/funny the word "Seymourized" is
 

MFB

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Turns out my old coworker on my team also gave his notice, only took a month and a half of me being gone.

We were on if not the most loaded team, then the second for sure, and it's an impossible role for only one junior designer and a senior engineer; trying to cover both the in construction design jobs PLUS the on-going construction admin work, you end up so bogged down that you do 10 hr days every day minimum.

I feel bad for my old boss, he went from having an absolute buffoon before me, then had me who was bending over backwards because I wanted to do a good job, then my coworker came in and it looked like things were getting better. Now the rug has been pulled out from under him as both of will have left within two months.
 

wheresthefbomb

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After finding this infant safety utensil in my yard a long time ago, I intended to just throw it out. But I kept having this "vision" that such a thing could really be taken to a whole new level of efficiency with a bit of modification. So I held on to it for a few years, considering that maybe some day I'd be bored and in need of a unique project, enough to give it a little flair. Last week I found it in a box of old weird crap and figured that since I needed a break from the typical home-renovation/ landscape/ repair projects, that I'd mess around with it.

I'm pretty happy with the result and man, the sales-pitch writes itself!

> Revolutionary Engagement Barbs- Are you tired of traditional utensils slipping out of baby's mouth and spilling food all over the floor? Not any more! Baby's First Metal Fork reduces that risk by securely latching onto inside of baby's cheek and assuring that the fork only comes out when good and god-damn ready.

> Precision Morsel Targeting Tines- Ever seen how blunt most baby forks are? Well with safety in mind, Baby's First Metal Fork utilizes precision ground razor sharp tines to pierce even the most unruly plated peas and carrots... minimizing the risk of veggies becoming lethal projectiles... rocketing off the plate and taking out baby's eye. Rest easy, mom & dad!

> Honed Serrated Edges- When baby needs a little assistance managing that porterhouse steak or stuffed jalapeno, parents can simply let Baby's First Metal Fork do all the work! Sharp serrations allow your bundle of joy to cut each piece as large or as small as they want. Say bye-bye to this tedious parental chore and say hello to your toddler's independence!

> Innovative Slow Chew Technology- If your little one has a habit of inhaling food down their gullet, Baby's First Metal Fork will reduce that dangerous tendency by reminding them that eating can be a painful experience if not done properly, slowly, and above all else... very very carefully. A utensil that can teach manners AND self-control? You betcha!

> 2-n-1 Eat & Defend Design- If your baby is used to the trauma of having its food stolen, Baby's First Metal Fork greatly diminishes that risk by doubling as an instant weapon to fend off hungry would-be thieves. Opportunistic pets? Malnourished siblings? Better think twice cause baby ain't fuckin' around now!

For your diagnostic reference, this post was absolutely worth its own thread.
 

bostjan

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Mind = spaghetti
jacksonfishburne1102a.jpg
Morgan Freeman: "We don't all look alike. We're all black and famous but we don't all look alike. You're busted. I'm the other guy. The other one; 'More people GO with VISA.' I'm that guy. There's more than one black guy doing a commercial. I'm the 'More people GO with VISA' black guy, Hendrix is the guitar black guy. Sam Jackson is other credit card black guy. You only hear my voice though, so you probably won't confuse me with Sam Jackson."
 


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