James Hetfield admits he is struggling

c7spheres

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He tryin to say yous a bitch
Behave yourself buttpussy! jk. Thanks for teaching me that word in the amp thread! : ) I'm like a kid that can't stop saying it.

but a nice one
I know you're just kidding guys, but I must clear my name. No foul meant @AwakenTheSkies : ) He's no bitch. He's my sso friend.


- I keep typing up stuff about all this cause it's a real hot button issue for me, but I just can't put it out there. When I read it back it's so negative I cringe, though it's truth.
- I have very strong/negative views on the way 'help' is offered and executed in society. I view the system of 'help' as an entrapment racket, and of little help, honestly.
 

AwakenTheSkies

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Behave yourself buttpussy! jk. Thanks for teaching me that word in the amp thread! : ) I'm like a kid that can't stop saying it.


I know you're just kidding guys, but I must clear my name. No foul meant @AwakenTheSkies : ) He's no bitch. He's my sso friend.


- I keep typing up stuff about all this cause it's a real hot button issue for me, but I just can't put it out there. When I read it back it's so negative I cringe, though it's truth.
- I have very strong/negative views on the way 'help' is offered and executed in society. I view the system of 'help' as an entrapment racket, and of little help, honestly.

Unless your the violent or lashing out type. I don't get that vibe from you.

Yeah man I didn't catch any insulting second meaning from this post? Language barrier maybe? I don't really understand. 😅😅 I thought you meant that I don't seem like the anxious depressive type which is why I wrote the other post to explain that I sometimes I suffer from things like this too. 😬

But yeah as a young man always working temporary jobs and studying, paying a therapist out of your own pocket is difficult. Of course they always tell you that you need long term "treatment". So you pay them and talk, and walk out of there not really feeling any different. So they say try a different therapist...it's pay pay and more pay. It just seems like there's better things to spend your money on. 🤣
 

c7spheres

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Yeah man I didn't catch any insulting second meaning from this post? Language barrier maybe? I don't really understand. 😅😅 I thought you meant that I don't seem like the anxious depressive type which is why I wrote the other post to explain that I sometimes I suffer from things like this too. 😬

But yeah as a young man always working temporary jobs and studying, paying a therapist out of your own pocket is difficult. Of course they always tell you that you need long term "treatment". So you pay them and talk, and walk out of there not really feeling any different. So they say try a different therapist...it's pay pay and more pay. It just seems like there's better things to spend your money on. 🤣
Yeah, there's good help out there I assume, but it's all trust based. If you can't legally trust your doctor or the help lines why would people call? At least in AZ if you start talking about commiting suicide or harming others etc then you lose certain rights,unknowingly. - It means once documented, being put under observation is no longer voluntary. They'll lie straight to your face to get you to open up what yu're thinking (even asking you if you think of suicide) and get that documented, in order to secure control in case if they feel forced observaton of forced meds are appropriate. - More and more people realize this so word has spread about it so everyone's to afraid to get help. - If you're rich you can voluntarily commit yourself AND call the shots on what treatments you agree to try or not, and check yourself out whenever you want too, but if you're not and in 'the system' your basically screwed unless you can somehow hack gov't or private databases and delete everything. - Trying not to get to wrapped up in this though. Guitar is my therapy/drug.
 

AwakenTheSkies

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Yeah, there's good help out there I assume, but it's all trust based. If you can't legally trust your doctor or the help lines why would people call? At least in AZ if you start talking about commiting suicide or harming others etc then you lose certain rights,unknowingly. - It means once documented, being put under observation is no longer voluntary. They'll lie straight to your face to get you to open up what yu're thinking (even asking you if you think of suicide) and get that documented, in order to secure control in case if they feel forced observaton of forced meds are appropriate. - More and more people realize this so word has spread about it so everyone's to afraid to get help. - If you're rich you can voluntarily commit yourself AND call the shots on what treatments you agree to try or not, and check yourself out whenever you want too, but if you're not and in 'the system' your basically screwed unless you can somehow hack gov't or private databases and delete everything. - Trying not to get to wrapped up in this though. Guitar is my therapy/drug.
True, getting a mental health diagnose for some people can be really bad. For example for someone who wants to join the Armed Forces of their country. And that's probably not the only career that requires you to have a clean mental health record. 😓

Unfortunately for me music making & guitar haven't been very therapeutic. I'm pretty sure it made things worse 😅 For example when practicing technique I get really obsessed with every little sound and timing and it's stressful to get where I'm satisfied. Same with music production, my productions aren't super complicated. But I obsess about every track and sound and double check everything many times because I'm super paranoid that I will fuck something up and realize when it's too late - once the track is released. 😬 But I love the end result and I love music to death, which is why I keep doing it I guess.

Not sure for how much longer though, I'm pretty sure I was the happiest in my life when I had no ambition at all. And I think of going back to that. But it's hard to let go of something I'm so invested in, and that in some aspects I love so much. 😐
 

c7spheres

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True, getting a mental health diagnose for some people can be really bad. For example for someone who wants to join the Armed Forces of their country. And that's probably not the only career that requires you to have a clean mental health record. 😓

Unfortunately for me music making & guitar haven't been very therapeutic. I'm pretty sure it made things worse 😅 For example when practicing technique I get really obsessed with every little sound and timing and it's stressful to get where I'm satisfied. Same with music production, my productions aren't super complicated. But I obsess about every track and sound and double check everything many times because I'm super paranoid that I will fuck something up and realize when it's too late - once the track is released. 😬 But I love the end result and I love music to death, which is why I keep doing it I guess.

Not sure for how much longer though, I'm pretty sure I was the happiest in my life when I had no ambition at all. And I think of going back to that. But it's hard to let go of something I'm so invested in, and that in some aspects I love so much. 😐

I'd think that is normal to obsess over ever little thing though on an actual release. Bands break up over it. I noticed you said that on your album thread. Why not much longer possibly? Are you ill or something?
 

AwakenTheSkies

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I'd think that is normal to obsess over ever little thing though on an actual release. Bands break up over it. I noticed you said that on your album thread. Why not much longer possibly? Are you ill or something?
Nooo thankfully I'm OK health wise, thanks for asking. 😀 It's just that this isn't making me happy. I can write & release tracks that sound okay but otherwise I've failed all my goals that I had since I started my project in 2015. I haven't been able to start a band and I haven't played any gigs. Which I think I would've had a blast doing. And now I'm 24 and there are other pressures like work & bills and I have to move forward "professionally" so that I don't get stuck working shit jobs forever. It's a very reclusive lifestyle as well, and I would like to try to do things differently. That's why I think about dropping the EP and calling it quits.
 

c7spheres

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In the long run, I think heroin might have been cheaper had I tried it
Only if you were an addict for a month or two then stopped. jk. bad joke. I did it again and typed a big crazy thing. Everyone would hate me so I'm leaving now. haha. Trying ot avoid it.

Nooo thankfully I'm OK health wise, thanks for asking. 😀 It's just that this isn't making me happy. I can write & release tracks that sound okay but otherwise I've failed all my goals that I had since I started my project in 2015. I haven't been able to start a band and I haven't played any gigs. Which I think I would've had a blast doing. And now I'm 24 and there are other pressures like work & bills and I have to move forward "professionally" so that I don't get stuck working shit jobs forever. It's a very reclusive lifestyle as well, and I would like to try to do things differently. That's why I think about dropping the EP and calling it quits.

Well that's good at least. haha . Always disappointing to hear music not making someone happy. Very hard to do and a labor of love for sure. Maybe take vacation? All I'm saying is maybe not call it quits but take a break? Once you decide to quit something mentally you're pretty much done for a long while at least.
- I'm a little sad now, but happy you're ok! : ) If you do quit though. Please send gear to...haha.

- Is not meeting goals what's not making you happy or just the grind of it? If you place happiness inside commercial, personal or social success then you will always have problems no matter what you do, because happiness doesn't come from those. It comes internally from loving others when possible, imo. The former is actually ego or self worth in disguise because self worth / mood is attached to the external in that case. By doing so you're basically using your job or goals as a drug/high upon success and torture device upon failure. Yes, money brings happiness, but not this type.

- Once you truly don't care about shows, albums , songs etc and focus on what you really like to write and want, regardless of what others think or it's success, you'll be much happier, but possibly write crappier songs. Like me. HAHA! It's why all the rock gods seem to suck more after they get sober in my estimation because they start caring about things. Caring sucks and is not metal. jk.

- I hope you find happiness and glad you're doing ok. Maybe a guided ayahuasca retreat with the elves would help. God man. I'm talking bad today. sorry. I have been up 27+ hours though. No drugs or coffee even. Lots of soda. soda= bad. I don't recommend drug use, but I'd have to be on a lot of drugs to quit guitar. Sorry, man, just trying to lighten the mood. I sincerely wish you the best.
 

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I mean with the metal world losing the vocalist for The Black Dhalia Murder to alleged suicide, seeing a metal royalty like James bring it to light is extremely important. A lot of us a dudes, we will refuse to admit anything is wrong....ever. I have been taking anxiety meds for a bit now and I don't know how I survived this long. In an odd twist, Metallica single-handedly prevented me from some horrible ideas when I was younger.

But can you imagine someone like James and the standard he is held to, and to satisfy the entire world? That's A LOT of weight to bear. I hope he gets whatever help he needs or takes the break that Metallica deserves. Those guys have more than put in their fair share to music.

And if anyone here is questioning seeing a doctor to talk about mental health or some medication to help.....DO NOT WAIT! DO IT YESTERDAY! I fought seeing a doctor my entire life and when my wife finally broke me down and I went, I have no idea why I didn't do it sooner. My life has been substantially better since.....that and weed helps a lot, LMAO!
 

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Only if you were an addict for a month or two then stopped. jk. bad joke. I did it again and typed a big crazy thing. Everyone would hate me so I'm leaving now. haha. Trying ot avoid it.



Well that's good at least. haha . Always disappointing to hear music not making someone happy. Very hard to do and a labor of love for sure. Maybe take vacation? All I'm saying is maybe not call it quits but take a break? Once you decide to quit something mentally you're pretty much done for a long while at least.
- I'm a little sad now, but happy you're ok! : ) If you do quit though. Please send gear to...haha.

- Is not meeting goals what's not making you happy or just the grind of it? If you place happiness inside commercial, personal or social success then you will always have problems no matter what you do, because happiness doesn't come from those. It comes internally from loving others when possible, imo. The former is actually ego or self worth in disguise because self worth / mood is attached to the external in that case. By doing so you're basically using your job or goals as a drug/high upon success and torture device upon failure. Yes, money brings happiness, but not this type.

- Once you truly don't care about shows, albums , songs etc and focus on what you really like to write and want, regardless of what others think or it's success, you'll be much happier, but possibly write crappier songs. Like me. HAHA! It's why all the rock gods seem to suck more after they get sober in my estimation because they start caring about things. Caring sucks and is not metal. jk.

- I hope you find happiness and glad you're doing ok. Maybe a guided ayahuasca retreat with the elves would help. God man. I'm talking bad today. sorry. I have been up 27+ hours though. No drugs or coffee even. Lots of soda. soda= bad. I don't recommend drug use, but I'd have to be on a lot of drugs to quit guitar. Sorry, man, just trying to lighten the mood. I sincerely wish you the best.
Nawww man, I think the reason why I'm not happy with it is because I've done too much of the production stuff at home and too little of the enjoying myself playing live. I would've loved to play some live shows and party rock 'n roll style. But there's just not much of a metal scene where I am in Spain. All the party is reggaeton 🤮🤮 - latino night club music. I'm super reclusive and I don't really know how to go about finding band members. And when I try to move to another country, then I'm stuck working to pay the bills. I don't really know what the fuck to do 🤣🤣

And yeah man you should probably get some sleep. Not sure about the ayahuasca, I remember I liked weed to write songs with the guitar but I haven't done that in like 6 years. I've always felt curious about magic mushrooms, but I have respect for psychedelics and fear that they might make me completely nuts. No matter where you are, there's always a story about a guy who had a bad trip and never quite came back the same. 😨
 

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......

And if anyone here is questioning seeing a doctor to talk about mental health or some medication to help.....DO NOT WAIT! DO IT YESTERDAY! I fought seeing a doctor my entire life and when my wife finally broke me down and I went, I have no idea why I didn't do it sooner. My life has been substantially better since.....that and weed helps a lot, LMAO!

I'd strongly caution to just don't tell anyone, under any circumstance, you're contemplating suicide or harming others if you're from AZ, if you're not totally serious and in immdeiate danger.
 

c7spheres

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Nawww man, I think the reason why I'm not happy with it is because I've done too much of the production stuff at home and too little of the enjoying myself playing live. I would've loved to play some live shows and party rock 'n roll style. But there's just not much of a metal scene where I am in Spain. All the party is reggaeton 🤮🤮 - latino night club music. I'm super reclusive and I don't really know how to go about finding band members. And when I try to move to another country, then I'm stuck working to pay the bills. I don't really know what the fuck to do 🤣🤣

And yeah man you should probably get some sleep. Not sure about the ayahuasca, I remember I liked weed to write songs with the guitar but I haven't done that in like 6 years. I've always felt curious about magic mushrooms, but I have respect for psychedelics and fear that they might make me completely nuts. No matter where you are, there's always a story about a guy who had a bad trip and never quite came back the same. 😨
Move to Hollywood, stay at a bathhouse or on the beach for $20 a night, rent a 24 hour rehearsal studio for about $500-$1k month, go out into the wild night life and find people. It's how all the 80's bands did it and look how great they all turned out! hehe. Seriously though, that's a doable thing I've known a few people that have done this. You get to jam all night and day, party all night and once you get a full band only have to work at McDonalds like 10 hrs a week to get by. - It's heaven until you want more money, the band breaks up, or you need heath coverage. I know, this is like until the bitter death type hardcore jam til we die type people. They don't think about possblly living very long, but while you're there you can go to school for whatever too. Like the Guitar Institute. Many pros went there. I'm just having fun.
- AZ is a metal mecca, btw,. Ton's of metal bands. I'd say come here but it's hot man. It's really, really, really hot. Very suitable for metal, but Cali is movng here anyways so. : )
- I thought Spain had it really good compared to America. Paid vacation, health care etc. You just gotta find some metal heads. Man stuff can turn around in a second. You meet once person you gel with and bam! It just takes off.

- I hope you find it man. All I can say is to think about what you want your average daily life to be like and go for it. Picture it in your mind.

Money and stuff doesn't mean anything if you have no time to do anything. Time is everything, even if you're poor. I know a lot of what I call rich people (there probably not rich) and all they do is work eat sleep, go to school, and their always tired and they're trapped because of whatever lifestyle (house) they choose to live in, and they ALL still think they're broke! They're probably in debt.
- What's the point of owning a house if all you do is sleep there? If all I get to do is sleep in my big house and I gotta work all the time anyways, then at least I'd like to be able to play guitar, have freinds and happy times in life etc. moreso than money I spend on crap which I spend no time with anyways. Same people always complain like I'm lazy, unambitous etc cause I'm not chasing bigger carreers and tyring to be like them, having bunch of kids etc. They say stuff like 'man how do you jam so much etc?' and my answer is that my house costs $250k less than yours, I don't have kids, my car is $40k less than your two expensice cars and I don;t own a boat, rv, etc, don't have a $500 month cable sports channel bill etc. I just eliminated milliions of dollars of required earning over a lifetime bacause of my ifestyle decisions. They never seem to understand that buying big toys and houses and havnig big famlys = money or realize they chose it. (they understand, they're just jealous I didn't do what they did, I can't help they want that stuff) Then in normal life they just look at you like you're not doing your part for humanity cause you didn't breed or whatever. It's all good. were freinds and I understand. They'll never be as cool as me. jk haha.

- People always work for a future that might not come, yet today has arrived and they ignore it in an attempt to consilitate their future into something better. After/IF they retire they can finally get to all those things they f'd off in life, but they'll realize by that time that it's to hard, they hurt to much are sick, just don't care anymore etc. When there life flashes before thier eyes on their death bed, instead of seeing happy things, they'll see images of their desk at work, todo emails, post it notes, that annoying ladys face and laugh etc, and won't be able to put it out of their heads. What a terrible death that must be. Am I awake still or sleep typing? haha. I'm seeing how long I can go before I fall over. I think I got at least couple hours left in me.

Sorry to everyone for clogging up the thread with walls of text. Hopefully it's useful to someone. Thanks
 

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I always thought it was strange that James wanted to be a singer. At first he didn’t even care about guitar. Way back when, he was described as painfully shy. In the 80s it was hard to find an interview with him. It was always Lars. I guess even after 40 years the anxiety never really goes away.
 

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I always thought it was strange that James wanted to be a singer. At first he didn’t even care about guitar. Way back when, he was described as painfully shy. In the 80s it was hard to find an interview with him. It was always Lars. I guess even after 40 years the anxiety never really goes away.
That's really surprisng to me. I never knew that he wanted to be a singer. And not to sound like smartass or anything but I'm surprised he wasn't saying he tells himself he can't sing instead of can't play guitar comparing his voice over the years. I hope he ain't like a street boxer playing on a broken hand of something . How many downstrokes has he played in his life. Trillions probably.
 

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I don't mean to be devil's advocate (this time), but it seems like a very different scenario. Old rockers are going to see a time when they can't continue to go out there / that's a very real thought of "how long can I actually go out there and do this? At a level the fans expect?" The thought of can I get up, get out there, and do this thing that mostly much younger guys do, is quite different from whether you can find joy and meaning in life, etc. It doesn't sound like it's in the line of suicidal type mental health issues. But YMMV.

What's kinda sorta interesting here is typically the older you get the less you gaf about what ppl think in general, audience included. There's defo an "athletic" component to playing and that ability is deteriorating with age but I don't think that's the case here...
 

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Move to Hollywood, stay at a bathhouse or on the beach for $20 a night, rent a 24 hour rehearsal studio for about $500-$1k month, go out into the wild night life and find people. It's how all the 80's bands did it and look how great they all turned out! hehe. Seriously though, that's a doable thing I've known a few people that have done this. You get to jam all night and day, party all night and once you get a full band only have to work at McDonalds like 10 hrs a week to get by. - It's heaven until you want more money, the band breaks up, or you need heath coverage. I know, this is like until the bitter death type hardcore jam til we die type people. They don't think about possblly living very long, but while you're there you can go to school for whatever too.
Heheh, that sounds fun. I've always wanted to go to the US, but unless I come hired as a professional I will probably get deported in 3 months AFAIK. I realize life there might not be as good as I thought it was when I was younger. Spain is okay but my experience here as an adult hasn't been very good, I came here from Eastern Europe as a kid. And I've tried to move countries 2 times but since I don't have a higher eduation I always end up working hospitality jobs where I don't have a lot of free time.

Not very long ago I was trying my luck in Switzerland working at a construction site. Very strict, very by the rules country. And while that country gives a good promise of stability, I was on the job 11 hours every day. Hard to do anything aside from work, eat, sleep (and drink beer 🥴) with that schedule! 😅
 

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I was checking out this Kiss soundcheck and Paul stanely started talking about it during Q&A they had at around 29:10

 

soldierkahn

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Chester told us everything that was going to happen LOOONG before it happened. But like their song off of Meteora, "Nobody's Listening", nobody was paying attention.

It killed me losing Chester, but it was far from unexpected.
 


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