I need help to be more tolerant of other people's taste in music.

Discussion in 'General Music Discussion' started by Xaios, Jul 6, 2018.

  1. groverj3

    groverj3 Bioinformagician

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    I get what you're saying here, and agree with you and the others in the thread in general. However, it does seem that more people have an immediate, visceral, dislike of heavy or progressive rock compared to other non-pop genres. Mostly, thinking of rap/hip-hop. Saying that you like that also doesn't elicit the same "huh, why would you listen to that?" reaction from people who don't know much about the genre.

    This is nothing scientific, just anecdotal.

    Agreed with others though, let people have their opinions. I just think that you should be allowed to defend yours, too.
     
  2. Quiet Coil

    Quiet Coil Only obsesses over guitars when not playing them.

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    Get bigger problems/more responsibilities (e.g. spouse, kids, grandkids, whatever suits you). Then you won’t have the energy to care. :lol:
     
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  3. Edika

    Edika SS.org Regular

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    So much this. My constant playlists consists of nursery rhymes and whatever my daughter finds appealing. I get to make her listen watch some guitar, drum playing and some heavier songs as watches the performance too rather than just listening to the music.

    To the main subject I've been through this frame of mind until I realized first that I'm the one with the different tastes, second most people don't want to delve into music as much they just want to have fun and maybe be able to dance to it and third that it's just music. I can speak about my eclectic taste for technical music but it's mostly the intensity that draws me and as I age I seem to seek more structure and melody in songs. I find that some of the songs I enjoy, if you strip some bells and whistles, they could be catchy pop songs lol.

    And I do agree with the sentiment that it is really difficult to write a simple catchy pop tune. If it was, everybody would like hits regardless of the simplicity in writing a pop tune.
     
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  4. Xaios

    Xaios Foolish Mortal

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    Just to drill down to this point (don't worry, I did read the rest of your post too :lol:), I do definitely take "music" as a whole more seriously than most people I know IRL. I've never had the capacity to simply put on some tunes and chill out like a normal person would, I'm just too much of an active listener. When I'm listening to music, about the only thing that I can pay more attention to is driving. It feels like the majority of people are content to simply have their music act as background noise for whatever else is going on. Conversely, I tend to be a lot more deconstructive of the music I listen to (although this is likely at least in part owing to the fact that I have perfect pitch).
     
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  5. Edika

    Edika SS.org Regular

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    Oh I know, I do this myself too. My best friend and I whenever we get together and there's a song we'll analyze the structure, the rhythm patterns, how the bass lines work and tie in with the guitars, the vocals. If our wives are there they'll say that we have "destroyed" their enjoyment of the song for them as they listen to it as the whole product.

    And I was always of the opinion of seeing what's behind the music, listening to more challenging music along with the pop stuff to appreciate music more and give other artists that compose and perform their own music a chance to be successful, not necessarily metal acts as they're not the only genre that produces interesting music. I have classically trained musician friends that have branched out to more strange music paths, mostly Eastern music. And honestly lately my music listenings revolve around metal, metal and metal so in a sense I'm not that openinded to othet types of music. So how can I call myself a music lover if I only like specific genres of music? It's like calling myself a foodie and only eating variations of pasta dishes.

    I also realized that I don't do the same of analysis with other art forms. I can if I want to but I enjoy the product more. In movies I get lost in the story and don't pay attention to the details. I saw Shuttet Island and while I enjoyed it tremendously I was surprised it was all in his mind. My wife figured it out early in the movie. I never see mistakes that other people point out, especially if I see a movie once. The same with paintings. I enjoy the painting but will rarely pay attention to brush work and color combinations etc etc. Other friends that are more passionate about these art forms will note all the details I don't pay attention to but would not do the same with music. I have another really good friend that I can't go watch a "simple" movie anymore. He'll always want to watch something that's challenging and most of the times I'll want something to relax and have fun with. Even a mindless blockbuster or a silly comedy. I will be in the mood for something more meaningful and heavier but most of the times I don't. He feels the same as I do for music.

    All my above experiences have made me chill out about my same feelings of superiority about music. Most people just have different things they're passionate about and sometimes discussing about those different passions can ignite interest to one another and branch out to new stuff.

    However, if I'm blasting something like The Black Dahlia Murder that I find quite melodic, anyone in short distance don't share the same opinion. I'll listen with headphones on though, as everyone does at my work to not annoy the rest. Some people that got a glimpse of what I hear said that it sounds too intense and chaotic to them. And I can accept that.
     
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  6. A-Branger

    A-Branger SS.org Regular

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    I work editing video for weddings. You have no idea the amount of times I ahve to listent to stupid Ed Sherinang, and other 3/4 dumbest "wedding" songs jsut because every single bride out there wants those songs in their video. If you know about video, or have mixed audio, its over and over and over and over... so per each wedding edit I listent to the song by x5 times.

    eventually you learn to shut down your brain and ignore that song. Same as when I jump in friends cars, or even at my car I usualyl give the phone cable to my passenger as I know 80% of the time they would cry with my music, or at least they would be cringing internally to be polite lol

    as long as its not "yo yo gansta mothafucka [email protected]#r yoyo" hiphop, then Im usually fine with it and I can easily listen it for those 3/5 min

    at least you were lucky and got Stain... it could ahve been WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY worse
     
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  7. Althos

    Althos SS.org Regular

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    I think your biggest problem is that you're looking at a certain aspect of music while ignoring others, which is why you feel like the bands you like (and you also probably like them because you mostly judge music based on a certain set of criterias) are superior to the rest.
    Music is an art form, and the goal of art is to reach most people, to make them feel (positive) things, make them want to dance, sing, tap their foot, rock their body,... and in that regard, mainstream music, regardless of how it's produced, achieves this goal the best. You have to remember that the appreciation of "higher" forms of music such as prog, jazz, improvisation, 20th century expressionist music... requires time, passion and effort to achieve, and not everyone cares about music to that extent, and it's fine, we all have different interests, I don't know shit about movies for example.
     
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  8. Mathemagician

    Mathemagician SS.org Regular

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    Ok here’s a tip that worked for me when I was young.

    I realized that girls like whatever they like, and if you’re going to be a giant dildo about it then you’re probably not going to get many girls. Because no one likes getting shat on.

    Also you may meet cool people that happen to like say, that by the numbers country pop stuff. If you’re a giant dildo about something as trivial as music, they probably won’t invite you to hang out.

    Don’t be a giant dildo and be friendly instead. Music can’t hurt you, it isn’t special and certainly shouldn’t be a major part of a person’s personality/identity. That tends to lead to one-dimensional behavior and personalities.

    Also most metal sounds like ass. You’re a metal fan, you should know this. Lol.
     
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  9. wankerness

    wankerness SS.org Regular

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    I always end up bringing this up in topics that devolve into the circle jerk of "regular people just have bad tastes, here is a study showing people who listen to black metal have higher IQ," or that kind of ridiculous thing. Which is often coming from people who watch, like, the Transformers or Taken movies, which are the filmic equivalent of listening to the absolute lowest-common-denominator dumb guy music. Music alone doesn't make you smarter/better than anyone.

    Not that I don't struggle with this myself. I know people that are definitely smarter than myself and much more worldly and into art/film/travel, speak multiple languages, etc who take music VERY SERIOUSLY but listen to treacly indie crap with all the compositional interest of twinkle twinkle little star and all the musicianship of a fifth grade recorder choir. All worth they place on things other than lyrics seems to be in some nebulous area of how much work they think the artist put into it, when my reaction to it is "jesus christ, any moron with a year of acoustic guitar class could produce this." I just keep a poker face at all times and with the 1/10 songs that I find ANYTHING interesting in I'll usually point it out and say something positive about what I like about it. Sometimes it works, and next time I'm around they'll have shifted what they have playing to be more like that and less like the other stuff.

    Another thing that often works is to quickly identify something they like that you also do, and excitedly talk about that, and then they'll want to put that (or similar artists) on when you're around. Good candidates for this with the kind of people I associate with are Radiohead, No Means No, Bjork and Steely Dan, YMMV.

    I mainly just don't get it, at all. I heard some literal 4 chord crap the other day (E G D C) with some woman just swearing a lot about how mad she was at her boyfriend for dumping her, which you'd THINK would be on the artistic level of that horrid song about keying the boyfriend's car, but for some reason it was being blared in an indie record store between some fuzzy post-rock and Bjork (both of which I like). What in the everloving fuck?! I hate music.

    In summation, learn to ignore stuff. And get a job where everyone has their own office so music having to be "picked" isn't a thing! I went a few years with that happening where I was so desperate that I started liking that Feist song with the lyrics "1 2 3 4 5 6 9 10" since at least it was better than 80% of the other stuff that was being played. I think I'm probably still recoiling in disgust when I hear someone crank up certain things, but I think it's pretty much unnoticeable, and as long as it's at a reasonable volume I can talk over it without grimacing in pain.

    This doesn't apply to really loud dumb guy music, but fortunately I don't really hear that anymore as I don't hang around with anyone savage enough to listen to like, AC DC and Ted Nugent and their inferior companions.
     
    Last edited: Jul 7, 2018
  10. Avedas

    Avedas SS.org Regular

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    Is this high school lmao. Instead of genres of music just imagine you're talking about different types of food. Now realize how stupid the entire thing sounds and walk away from it.
     
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  11. wat

    wat SS.org Regular

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    My friends listen to basic shit and I tell them regularly. :steve:
     
  12. wankerness

    wankerness SS.org Regular

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    The difference is people aren't constantly eating food at work and shoving it into your mouth the whole time that they do. :p
     
  13. NateFalcon

    NateFalcon SS.org Regular

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    I’ve never got to listen to what “I want” on a jobsite or anywhere else for that matter. Music is super personal for me so I don’t expect other people to feel my moods and opinions on music. I also don’t look at genres and bands as a whole...I cherry pick things I like and ignore facets of the music that I don’t. I love Jeff Hanneman but I’m not a huge Slayer fan and so on...things like that, nor does others music bother me. Brittney Spears? whatever...Loverboy?...cool lol
     
  14. dozicusmaximus

    dozicusmaximus SS.org Regular

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    I know how you feel. I can generally find something to appreciate in most songs other people enjoy. But there are exceptions and those exceptions can make me react in a way I'd rather not. That song "Sale" or whatever that came out a few years back is one. Utter disgust written all over my face and body language. If I couldn't leave the area where it was playing I would turn it off. There's also a xmas song Paul McCartney wrote that has done the same thing to me since childhood. Oh, and Bob Dylan.....
    I'm happy to "dj" at parties and not listen to metal, prog, post punk, and anything abrasive or challenging.
    I am the same with movies. 80% of anything Marvel, I'm out. If I'm watching movies alone I like horror or more cerebral stuff. But, I do like Ozu films.
    And I'm done rambling.
     
  15. Necris

    Necris Bonitis.

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    You need to make a more concerted effort to find even a single aspect you can appreciate in music you find excruciating. You claim to be an active listener, so it shouldn't be too much of a challenge. You probably won't enjoy the music as a whole, but maybe you won't be noticeably grimacing as it pours out of the speakers. :lol:
     
  16. buriedoutback

    buriedoutback SS.org Regular

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    Here I was thinking 'maybe i'm the asshole cause i like super niche extreme-music...' then you sum up perfectly what happens when i want to listen to 1 death metal song at a party full of ppl who hate metal.

    i say fuck em. makes me think of the Costanza rant from "the baby shower" :

    "You think I'm some sort of a loser, that likes to be abused and ignored?! Who's shirt can be ruined without financial restitution?! Some sort of a masochist who enjoys being humiliated? You think you can avoid me like I have some sort of disease?! You have the disease! You have the disease! You may be beautiful and rich and physically .. just .. unbelievable, but you sicken me! You disgust me! You and everyone like you!"
     
  17. bhakan

    bhakan SS.org Regular

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    My solution was to find something I enjoy whose musical merits I can't defend on an objective level. Like there's some doom stuff that I love, but playing three simple pentatonic riffs you stole from Tony Iommi for 10 minutes through 8 fuzz pedals while yelling about weed isn't really the pinnacle of interesting composition or musical virtuosity. It's really not much different than "some literal 4 chord crap with some woman just swearing a lot about how mad she was at her boyfriend for dumping her" other than the fact that one sounds sick to me and the other incredibly annoying.
     
  18. Emperor Guillotine

    Emperor Guillotine The Almighty Ruler

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    Just don't be an asshole. Is it really that difficult?

    I mean, is it really so difficult to the point that the OP has become self-conscious about it and now felt like he had to create a post/thread here on a forum so that he can feel good about himself by giving off this guise of wanting to rid himself of this intolerant behavior?

    Taste in music is just another personal thing that varies from person to person based on an individual's interests. Like movies. And dare I say that the two are sadly starting to become like politics and religion - meaning, things that we can't discuss because people have become so ridiculously opinionated and self-centric (with this "my taste is superior and you're lesser intellectually because of your taste", which is just another version of: "I'm right and you're wrong").
     
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  19. PunkBillCarson

    PunkBillCarson SS.org Regular

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    I'm generally pretty tolerant of musical tastes, but to be honest with you, I'm more able to listen to bubble gum pop than something from Puddle of Mudd or Five Finger Death Punch. The worst form of musical taste though? Fucking Christmas music and before I get crucified here (any perceived humor was not intentional) just try working in a store around Christmas time when they've got Christmas music ALL month long, the same few songs, all day long.
     
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  20. rokket2005

    rokket2005 SS.org Regular

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    Most Christmas music is terrible. But Mannheim Steamroller's 1984 and Fresh Aire? Fucking GOLD.
     

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