Getting Bored - Any Advice?

Discussion in 'General Music Discussion' started by GamesJibson, Jan 24, 2019.

  1. GamesJibson

    GamesJibson GamesJibson

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    Not sure if this is the right thread for this kind of post but glancing through on the sly when I shouldn't be, this seemed like the best fit.

    So I'm in a band, I enjoy the music we make, I enjoy playing live and although frustrating at times, I'm playing alongside a good bunch of mates so at first all would seem well.

    However, although we're getting newer gigs etc. - I've been in this band since its inception through all of the name changes, member changes you name it, and since it all started (and started over again) I feel like absolutely no progress has been made. We're still getting the same local gigs, same venues, same slots playing alongside the same bands. We're no further on studio time, no further on getting video's done, no further on promotion and whilst I know at some points I'm being impatient, it seems like I'm the only one ready for a big push and now? I'm just getting sick and bored of it all and I can't seem to encourage anyone to see my side of things.

    I would try to start another project however free time is hard to come by at the moment even with only the one project so I can't funnel it out that way either.

    Anyone have any advice for a person getting more frustrated by the day?

    Cheers in advance
     
    Last edited: Jan 24, 2019
  2. budda

    budda Guiterrorizer Contributor

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  3. GamesJibson

    GamesJibson GamesJibson

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    Trust me, I've been toying with the idea. I just can't seem to balls up and do it because except for the lack of progress malarkey I still enjoy the band in general.

    Rock, meet hard place (as it were)
     
  4. GunpointMetal

    GunpointMetal SS.org Regular

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    You gotta be honest with yourself and your buds. Tell them honestly that you want to make more progress as far as promotion and gig opportunities and that requires EVERYONE putting in extra effort and expenditure outside of rehearsal. If they don't seem as interested in actually putting in the work to further the band and you still want to play with them, you need to tell them that you're going to put more effort and focus into another project so you can fulfill your ambitions and your current band will have to become a "when we can" sort of side project. If everyone says they wanna be on your side and put in the effort, and they don't, then quit.
     
  5. GamesJibson

    GamesJibson GamesJibson

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    Aye, sound advice there. I know I've had words with them before but I think it'll have to be a foot down moment like you've just described. The starting over aspect of it does feel pretty disheartening but I suppose some stuff I'll just have to face up to considering the years put in for the minimal output it's given (of which I'm doing my best not to unload onto the internet haha).

    Food for thought there though bud - much appreciated
     
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  6. budda

    budda Guiterrorizer Contributor

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    You dont though, because you are the only one willing to push to advance.

    Quit.
     
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  7. GunpointMetal

    GunpointMetal SS.org Regular

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    I know how it goes. I have one band that kinda moves slow for me, but I really like playing with the dudes and finding other musicians around here that would want to do the stuff is damn near impossible, so I've pretty much decided that I'll meet their effort instead of expecting them to meet mine and enjoy it for what it is instead of what I had hoped it would be. It's not really the guys' faults, we're all older "real" adults with responsibilities and they both have kids/families, so of course other things take precedent. Then I started another band that everyone has a little more energetic work ethic and everyone seems to be moving forward at roughly the same rate. Trust me though, you want to get this sorted sooner than later, or you might end up losing some friends in the process instead of just a band.
     
  8. TedEH

    TedEH Cromulent

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    As a counter argument, I think it's pretty common for groups to have un-equal levels of ambition, or just be in different places in life- I don't think it's reasonable to expect or demand that everyone be on the same page 100% of the time. This would also apply to the people in any new project you start up. It sounds like a "grass is greener on the other side" situation where you could just as easily regret what you've burned trying to reach your ideal band/situation.

    If you like the people you're currently working with, maybe you just need to approach that situation differently. Are you the band leader? If not, maybe you should be. Are you writing the songs? Maybe you should be. Are people not learning their parts at home? Turn rehearsal time into learning time. If anyone involved doesn't have the want/drive/time to contribute anything more than the minimum, than don't task them with any more than that. If someone wants to just show up and play the part and go home, then just teach them the bits and leave them out of the rest. You're the one with ambition, so you have to take the reigns.
     
  9. GunpointMetal

    GunpointMetal SS.org Regular

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    It is NEVER a good idea to be in a partnership where you're doing all the work without expressing that the rest of the people will not be reaping the benefits in the same fashion. If I'm in a group and I do all the promotion, booking, song-writing, pre-production for recordings, and have to waste rehearsal time going over parts with people (rehearsal is not practice, I don't care what anyone says, practice is what you do at home so you don't everyone else's waste time at rehearsal), if my band starts pulling decent money, I'm keeping half of it and the other guys can split the other half between them. If it's a "for fun" thing with no real ambitions, there's no reason to stress other people out about being productive, and if its something that DOES have ambitions, there is no point in holding hands with people who aren't putting in the work themselves.
     
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  10. Mathemagician

    Mathemagician SS.org Regular

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    You need to put your time into a “serious” project and bring on musicians with not only the same goals but work ethic. They may be fine touring, but if they aren’t handling some part of the business of moving your forward then they can’t expect the same cut. Growing a band is a job and everyone has to be on the same page.

    Asking your current 3/4 guys to adjust to your goal is likely too big an ask.
     
  11. ArtDecade

    ArtDecade John Bohlinger's Dank Stash

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    Quit. Then, sue them for royalties. In a few years, sue again and take control of the band name and back catalogue. Restart the band with a few younger gunslingers. Tour the world. Quit again.
     
    Last edited: Jan 24, 2019
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  12. TedEH

    TedEH Cromulent

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    I don't think this has to be the case necessarily, as long as expectations are clear and met. I have one band (it's probably the one that is the most productive too) where my role is very clearly just to learn the material (which is acceptable to do, in part, at jams) and play shows. That's it. It's their project, they do the promo, they deal with the song writing and the business side of things, etc., and I literally just show up, play, and go home. I'm essentially just a hired/session type member, as opposed to being a "full member" who participates in anything else. As was mentioned by gunpoint, it also means I don't expect to benefit equally from what that band does - I have no share in any money they make or anything like that, but it's all upfront and we're cool about it. Roles are clear, defined, and stuck to. Everyone is happy with that arrangement.

    An ideal situation might be that everyone in any group contributes just as much, but sometimes people just want to play and go home. I see no problem with trying to arrange things so that everyone is doing what they want, and everyone is happy. Maybe it's not possible, but I think it's worth exploring before jumping right to quitting.
     
  13. Mathemagician

    Mathemagician SS.org Regular

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    That’s what I mean by work ethic. If their only job is to show up and play for $X/show or whatever then they need to able to execute on that just like you described.
     
  14. TedEH

    TedEH Cromulent

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    I just mean that goals don't need to be the same. If one person's goal is just to play and enjoy themselves, but another wants to write and be productive, etc., then that's cool in my books.
     
  15. budda

    budda Guiterrorizer Contributor

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    Show me all the bands where different levels of ambition works out :lol:.

    If you arent in a band with people on the same page, that will become frustrating pretty quick. If you are the weak link you get asked not to come back. If you are the leader/pusher, you either start a new band with like minded people and quit, or just start the serious project.

    In the case of the OP, everyone else is fine being the local opener and he isnt. So he needs either all new people in this band, or a new band that has the same goals.

    It doesnt matter if you love the people in your band if you feel like you are wasting time and effort in the band.
     
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  16. TedEH

    TedEH Cromulent

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    I did -> I gave the example of where I play in one group as nothing more than a session player who does my part and goes home. The guy who writes and records the material has a significant amount of ambition and does all the work, books shows (very occasionally tours), pays for things, whereas I'm just there to jam, play some shows, drink the occasional beers, and go home. It works out really well that way because everyone is meeting the expectation they put forward.

    It's honestly a much smoother experience, IMO, than when you have a whole bunch of people with all the ambition in the world butting heads to try to take a band in the direction they have in their head. There's a reason that there's often a "band leader" that emerges in a group. Sometimes that lead just keeps everyone on the same page, sometimes they do everything outside of playing each instrument.

    That's not to say that if someone isn't properly filling the role they've stepped into that it's not a problem - just that maybe the solution is to re-evaluate roles and expectations rather than scrapping the whole thing. It's ok to be in a band where you do all the work, IF that's how everyone agrees they want to divide ownership of the project. Just my :2c:
     
  17. budda

    budda Guiterrorizer Contributor

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    Thats my point though - you arent in the band. Perhaps you replaced the guy in the band who wasnt putting in the practice so they can record or gig.
     
  18. GunpointMetal

    GunpointMetal SS.org Regular

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    If I were in that position I would expect to get paid more than in a project where I have creative input.
     
  19. Descent

    Descent SS.org Regular

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    It depends - since you're not moving much forward it seems that you can do less rehearsals until things improve, spend the other time writing new tunes, either for your solo project or for that band to do as soon as they're finished.

    The current band I am in - I could easily miss a month of rehearsals and probably in comparable skills as of now, but the rest will slack off and start sounding bad. Also making rehearsal gets me out of the house, I think of it as a gym of sorts.
     
  20. TedEH

    TedEH Cromulent

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    You're assuming I get paid at all. I literally just show up to jams, play, drink an occasional beer, go home. No pay. Just playing some music I enjoy with people I enjoy the company of. And we're all happy with that arrangement.
     
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