Am I in the Wrong?

glpg80

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I have a question for my fellow sso'ers. If a teenager kills three others while driving under the influence, am I in the wrong for not having sympathy for the parents of the teenager?

It seems as though you should forgive everyone in the situation but apparently I have been told or argued against otherwise. I am not religious - and feel as though it's a parent's responsibility to teach their kids not to drink or drive - or let others for that matter.

Not that I am putting blame on the parents - just no sympathy.
 

MaxOfMetal

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Yes. You are in the wrong.

Children aren't robots, they have free will and make stupid decisions, often regardless of the quality of parenting they received.
 

glpg80

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Of course the teenager is responsible regardless and not the parents. I do not put blame on the parents, but given the circumstances to be in their shoes I would feel the need to apologize to others.

In this case the teenager was underage, used an illegal license to get into the bars, fought 6 people who tried to take away his keys, and ended up killing a 6 year old among the 3.
 

MaxOfMetal

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Well, without any details, it's hard to really say. It would be great if you would elaborate on the situation or post articles on the incident. Not sure why you're making me wring it out of you. :shrug:

Let me ask you a question, do you feel like the parents in this case deserve to have their lives forever ruined? If your answer is anything other than "fuck yeah! 110%!" then you already have at least a little sympathy here.

It's also okay to have feelings of anger and disappointment in someone and still pity them.

Their child did something absolutely reprehensible, his life is pretty much forfeit in the public eye. Even if they did absolutely everything they could as parents, they will forever feel like failures. Is that not deserving of at least a little pity?
 

redstone

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No. Not as long as you respect their social rights. Only an aggression is wrong, having no sympathy is neither right nor wrong.
 

JohnIce

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I feel that in a world as globalized as ours with high-speed internet, social media and billion dollar entertainment industries, parents don't really have much control anymore. If anything, I criticize parents who DO try too hard to keep their kids from outside influence, as that damn near always does more harm than good.

As far as responsibilities, I believe more in the idea that everybody's safety is everybody's responsibility. Some people's parents suck, some people have no parents, so saying the fate of the kid should depend on the parents doesn't work for me, morally. And vice versa, some parents are awesome but the kid got unlucky with schoolmates, teachers or whatever and turned out bad. Pointing fingers in that situation is just elitism, I think.
 

russmuller

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I have a question for my fellow sso'ers. If a teenager kills three others while driving under the influence, am I in the wrong for not having sympathy for the parents of the teenager?

It seems as though you should forgive everyone in the situation but apparently I have been told or argued against otherwise. I am not religious - and feel as though it's a parent's responsibility to teach their kids not to drink or drive - or let others for that matter.

Not that I am putting blame on the parents - just no sympathy.

It's a tragedy; all parties deserve sympathy in my view.
 

MrPepperoniNipples

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I think it's possible to have sympathy and still believe they should apologize for their son's actions

Their son driving drunk and killing 3 is a separate thing from the death of their son, I think. Regardless of what he or they did, the parents are still dealing with the loss of their child, which no parent(s) should have to ever go through, and you should still acknowledge that.
 

WhiteWalls

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If the story is simply "kid gets too drunk at a party, drives and kills people" then yes, I think you are wrong, because it's impossible to associate with any certainty that a guy getting drunk is the direct result of bad parenting. People get drunk all the time and they make really bad decisions because of it, and a small percentage of the time that wrong decision leads to the worst outcome.
If the kid was a serial drinker, constantly put others' lives in danger and his parents did nothing to stop it then it would be different, but in most cases it's a simple tragedy and his parents would deserve support like all other parties involved
 

elkinz

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Those parents are going to feel the impact of their sons mistakes. They are going to mourn for those other people who passed away in the accident, and you know what? They are probably going to feel like they are responsible even though it was out of their hands. They are going to be dealing with the aftermath and guilt as well as their son is. Kids love to do the opposite of what there parents are teaching them. I sure didn't live my life exactly how my parents taught me to. How are the parents meant to control that which they cant see? So hell yes I have sympathy, because those parents are going to have to be incredibly strong.

As well as the parents, the teenager deserves some sympathy too. Anyone dying is a terrible thing, and this teenager probably has some issues that hadn't been brought to the table. Even though he did a terrible thing and is responsible for these peoples lives, his life will forever change and he will always carry that with him. Also, We have to remember, if people fought so hard to stop him driving, why did the others stay in the car with him?

Im not saying he isn't in the wrong because he most certainly is. But if he was drunk, and had all these people trying to stop him - its also the responsibility of the passengers to not get in the car with him. There are multiple angles for this..

But its really hard to make this sort of discussion when we don't even know the full story, let alone are able to read the article.

Regardless of all this mumbo jumbo this is a terrible tradegy and my heart goes out to all the families because the death of a loved one is never easy, especially when they are young.
 

A-Branger

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regardless on the the how or why it happened. ITs a tragedy at the end of the day that would affect everyone of those parents directly link to those kids and their families and direct friends.

I dont say you should go to their houses and brind them flowers and a blanket. But you cant point fingers either. Just be respectful to someone who lost their beloved ones.

No-one is at blame here because there is not real reason on what exactly happened, apart from back luck and bad timing.

yes, alcohol is a mayor thing here, but theres no hundred of speeches, lectures or anything his parents could have done to change the kids outcome on that day for drinking. Maybe he drink that day to impress a girl?, a friend?, he got a bad grade?, celebrating?, he didnt eat anything that day?, first time trying hard liquor?, who knows.

We all got some sort of education on the topic, and we all have get drunk at one point of another. And we all have done stupid things. I admit I have drive (as back in my country there are not breath testers), difference is I drove at 10-20km/h and I didnt hit a highway. Im not excusing myself, I got lucky. Sadly this kid did not, different ppl react different when drunk, and you never know how are you going to react.

Also maybe his tyre pop?, a deer or a cat on the road?, his friend on the car yell at him, someone made a joke or puke?, even the split second of changing the music?, microsleep?, who knows. Yes, drinking reduced his abilities of proper reaction to those situations. At the end of the day, who knows what really happened

also I dont blame him for the deaths of the other kids. One thing is yes, hes on the blame to drink drive and crash the car with ppl inside the car, he should know better to not have drink and drive blah blah. But the passenger should have know that better too, till the point were they wont jump into that car. They could take the decision to not get into the car with him

either way its a shame, and its something I dont wish to anyone
 

naw38

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If the story is simply "kid gets too drunk at a party, drives and kills people" then yes, I think you are wrong, because it's impossible to associate with any certainty that a guy getting drunk is the direct result of bad parenting.

My brother in law was raised in a rather "traditional" sort of family. No bad parenting was involved, his two sisters turned out absolutely fine. He, on the other hand, beat his wife, has gotten drunk and crashed every car he's owned and a few that he didn't, went to jail for assaulting his girlfriend, got out of jail, bought a car, got drunk, crashed the car. Complete .... knuckle.

People do whatever they like, so often you can't put it down to bad parenting. Some people are just bad.
 


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