Adults living at home

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by benduncan, Feb 6, 2013.

  1. Pav

    Pav ???

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    Quick thought - are you really just self-conscious of your neatness? I still live with my parents :)() and I HATE it when they just barge into my room at a moment's notice. Though that's only because I'm worried they'll see/find my weed stash and kick me out of the house. :lol: Otherwise I don't care at all. Their house, they can do as they please, I'm just grateful they go to such lengths to accommodate me.

    Though if you're paying rent, your dad is out of line. If you really tried to level with him and let him know how you feel and he's still overstepping his bounds, I'd say he's the weird one who can't stay out of your shit for some reason, not you who just wants some privacy/respect.

    Unfortunately, the only real solution is to do whatever it takes to move out on your own.
     
  2. Mayhew

    Mayhew SS.org Regular

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    No matter how old they get, your kids will always be your kids. The parent/child relationship doesn't change with age so parents will keep on parenting until they die. This is one of those things you can't comprehend until you have kids of your own. Therefore paying rent doesn't make you just another roommate in a parents eyes.

    Moving out is the only way to be the master of your own domain. I had a great home life but moved out within a month of finishing college and getting a job at 21 simply so I could make the rules and it was a great learning experience. It really made me grow up and appreciate all my parents had done for me. Eventually you realize your parents were right all along.
     
  3. flint757

    flint757 SS.org Regular

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    While I don't necessarily disagree (devil's advocate), rent or not, like any agreement he has a choice; He can live their with the rules the parents set in place or move out. He isn't stuck (in the literal sense at least). Is the dad overstepping? Maybe, but it doesn't really matter. If he doesn't like it he can move out and pay rent elsewhere.

    A landlord could sign an agreement with you telling you to cross the threshold balancing on one leg. If you think that is ludicrous you don't move in, simple as that (I have no idea if someone could actually write up an agreement like that :lol:).
     
  4. Jontain

    Jontain SS.org Regular

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    Everyone will snap form time to time man, try to come to an amicable solution for the both of your sakes.

    At least you know he cares about you otherwise he wouldn't even bother to give you a hard time, being a parent is no easy game and its not always easy to see a parents true intensions (tough love and the like).

    Try talking to him about it, or failing that go out and spend some time with your dad away from the home as alot of this tension is usually only brought on within the house.

    Hope your situation improves buddy, try to keep your chin up and do the best you can, I'm sure thats what most parents want for their children in the long run.
     
  5. JoeyW

    JoeyW SS.org Regular

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    3... Or 7 times?
     
  6. Mo Jiggity

    Mo Jiggity 7-string n00b

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    Dude, stop caring about what he says/does and get out of there ASAP. I can't really speak to your situation as I live with my Dad rent-free and clean the house and such in return, but I do live with roommates that do some stupid fucking shit. I used to get pretty mad at it, but now I just let it slide, repay them any ill deeds they commit against me, and I only have to put up with it for a few more months until I sublease to whoever I goddamn please and leave the house to rot in a retarded haze of marijuana smoke.

    ...sorry for the rant, but basically there's no way out of this. Although you do pay rent, the renter can also set whatever terms he pleases as part of the arrangement. By the same token you are free to not rent from him. Although a good renter would give you your privacy, your father clearly does not, and for that reason the best option is to up and leave.

    As soon as I'm done with school I'm either buying/renting my Dad's house when he finds a new one or I'm moving out. I don't plan on cohabitating any longer than I have to.
     
  7. Overtone

    Overtone SS.org Regular

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    The general concept of your room being your room and off limits is fine but there should be exceptions like the one for the repair. I know people much older who have to live in the house with their family because of their circumstances and they would go nuts without some space like that, but there is a line somewhere. While your privacy is to be respected if you are away for an extended while it should be understandable that your room may need to be accessed for one reason or another.
     
  8. Mexi

    Mexi SS.org Regular

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    as a 20-something also living at home, I can sympathize. My dad never learned boundaries, ever. my mom is always careful to knock and acknowledge a response to walk in. Dad just barges in haha.

    but at this point, I'm happy enough just to have a roof over my head and parents that are willing to tolerate having their son at home a little while longer while he gets his life sorted out. more to the point, other posters have mentioned that even if you paid a landlord, they'd have the right to walk in and inspect the area for whatever reason they wanted.

    I'm sure your dad has nothing but the best of intentions and just fails on the follow-through, again, I can sympathize. It's a matter of choosing battles though, is it worth turning it into an ongoing point of stress? (on top of existing issues) or would it be best to try your hardest to both get together and to at least have a civilized conversation on how to deal with these ongoing issues
     
  9. Estilo

    Estilo SS.org Regular

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    Haha, I'm Asian with Chinese ancestry and it's the norm for adults to live with parents until we get married. In fact some still stay with their parents after marriage.
     
  10. welsh_7stinger

    welsh_7stinger 7=best number

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    I'm only 19 but I do live at home still with my mum and step dad. My step dad all ways just passes un wanted negative and soemtimes hurtful comments. To be honest you are both in the wrong and right. Even tho it is his house he should respect elements of your privacy. But you should respect his rules (I respect my dad's home rules when im at his house and i respect a few of my step dads but rarely). If anything i have said you have found as a insult, i do apologize as it was not my intention. Best advise I can give you really is this, put up with it and stand your ground. I hope you resolve your issues and sort your stuff out as soon as. nothing worse than being around someone that has ruined elements of you life growing up.
     
  11. budda

    budda Guiterrorizer Contributor

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    Do you not have any other relatives or friends you can live with? If there's a history of abuse, I would be exploring every other possible option first.

    That would be like the person who gets beat in a relationship coming back to the house after running away.
     
  12. SpaceDock

    SpaceDock Shred till your dead

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    I moved out when I was 17 and would never consider living with parents as an adult an option, unless there are children involved.

    I lived in my car in Colorado, rented a sub basement with no heat or proper walls, and lived on friends couches during tough times. Those times made me a man and I would never tell anyone that it was easy, but I would never recommend elongating your childhood by living with your family.

    Once again, the only acceptable terms would be if I had a small child to take care of that couldn't rough it like men can.
     
  13. Idontpersonally

    Idontpersonally Banned

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    I dont think you have any weird issues. I know guys that didn't move out till their 40's. My dad can be annoying as hell sometimes and fucked up my childhood too but there are worse landlords out there ...Just wondering what happens if you're late on rent???

     
  14. straightshreddd

    straightshreddd Dat Dood

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    Just start chillin' in your room butt ass naked. So, when he barges in, he's like "Oh, shit. My bad." and walks right out.
     

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