# Underworld Evolution appreciation post



## noodles (Jul 14, 2006)

Kate Beckinsale should dress like this pretty much all the time. 

Next to this, plot is completely irrelevant. I didn't even notice that the story line was even worse than the original. Go ahead and make the third one now, and title it "Underworld: Selene Runs Around in Full Body Leather Shooting Monsters". There is something about a hot woman with weapons that just pushes all the right buttons.

If some dude named Jeff tries to claim her as prize in a contest, then he is shit out of luck.


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## Christopher (Jul 14, 2006)




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## The Dark Wolf (Jul 14, 2006)

I haven't seen any of these. Are they any good?

I will say this, though. I remember the promos for the first one, and her in that leather. What a donkey on that girl, man.


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## Mykie (Jul 14, 2006)




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## D-EJ915 (Jul 14, 2006)

It was definitely hot \m/


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## Shannon (Jul 14, 2006)

It was allright, but no nearly as good as the first movie.
3 out of 5 stars.


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## noodles (Jul 14, 2006)

The Dark Wolf said:


> I haven't seen any of these. Are they any good?



Imagine someone gave a b-movie director a huge budget. The storylines are lame as hell, and there is plenty of cheese, but they are fun if you don't take them seriously.

It's a war between vampires and werewolves, but set in modern times. Imagine werewolves firing UV rounds (that explode into UV light, causing death) at vampires, while the vampires fire bullets filled with silver nitrate. Cool high-tech toys on both sides, and plenty of gratuitous violence. Sit down with some popcorn and a six pack and laugh yourself silly. 



Shannon said:


> It was allright, but no nearly as good as the first movie.



True, the first one was much better. Michael Sheen absolutely stole the show as Lucian. 

I was told I would see Kate Beckinsale's naked rack in this movie. The lying bastard poster didn't tell me that it was one of those love scenes involving clever camera angles that hide all the goods with arms and quick angle changes. I deem that false.


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## D-EJ915 (Jul 14, 2006)

Shannon said:


> It was allright, but no nearly as good as the first movie.
> 3 out of 5 stars.


1 out of 1 naked Kate Beckinsales agree, when the hybrid rips the one guy's head in half, that was badass \m/


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## distressed_romeo (Jul 15, 2006)

Much better than the first film, and Kate Beckinsale is gorgeous.


Spoiler



Only bit that was a little dumb was when Michael wakes up at exactly the right time to save the day.


Any word on a third film?


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## zimbloth (Jul 17, 2006)

the sexy accent helps too. being an american here, hot chicks with british/australian accents always bring me to my knees.


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## Naren (Jul 17, 2006)

Haven't seen it. I did see the original "Underworld" that was absolutely horrible, the worst Hollywood movie I saw that whole year (and I'm usually a fan of vampire movies). A good-looking girl is not enough to save a movie with a boring plot and nothing worth watching. I remember seeing the previews, thinking it'd be awesome, went to see it with my best friend, and left saying "What the hell was that piece of shit?"

Just my opinion, I guess. I've met people who actually liked it. If the second one is better than the first, then it might be worth seeing, but that completely depends on how much better it is. The first one just sucked so bad, I really have no more trust left in any sequels.


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## Drew (Jul 18, 2006)

Naren said:


> A good-looking girl is not enough to save a movie with a boring plot and nothing worth watching.



False. While hardly a work of cinematographic genius, you can't argue with the fact that Kate Beckinsdale is _HOT_. 

I still haven't seen #2 - I really need to get on that.


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## The Dark Wolf (Jul 18, 2006)

Drew said:


> False. While hardly a work of cinematographic genius, you can't argue with the fact that Kate Beckinsdale is _HOT_.
> 
> I still haven't seen #2 - I really need to get on that.


Wutz a Kate Beckins*D*ale?

Did you mebbe have a freudian slip, and were really thinking about THIS?








She has a donkey. That's what counts.


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## Scott (Jul 18, 2006)

distressed_romeo said:


> Spoiler
> 
> 
> 
> Only bit that was a little dumb was when Michael wakes up at exactly the right time to save the day.



Awee...jeez..

Bitch! Some of us have yet to see the movie!


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## distressed_romeo (Jul 18, 2006)

ARRRRRGH!!! Sorry!


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## noodles (Jul 18, 2006)

distressed_romeo said:


> ARRRRRGH!!! Sorry!



I think one of the mods needs to make a sticky about spoiler tags.


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## MetalMike (Jul 18, 2006)

zimbloth said:


> the sexy accent helps too. being an american here, hot chicks with british/australian accents always bring me to my knees.


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## Naren (Jul 18, 2006)

Drew said:


> False. While hardly a work of cinematographic genius, you can't argue with the fact that Kate Beckinsdale is _HOT_.
> 
> I still haven't seen #2 - I really need to get on that.



I never argued about her being hot. I only said that, even though she's hot, the movie was still boring as hell and nearly drove me crazy. I can't believe the empty and used feeling I had when I left that theater, that I had been tricked into actually paying money to watch such a crappy boring film. I rank it in the top 3 worst vampire movies I've ever seen.


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## Drew (Jul 19, 2006)

Ninja'd in a set of spoler tags on that one in case anyone else reads this.  


Naren, but... she's _HOT_! and she wears _skin-tight black leather_ for the _entire movie_!


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## MetalMike (Jul 19, 2006)

Naren said:


> I rank it in the top 3 worst vampire movies I've ever seen.



What are the other 2?


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## noodles (Jul 19, 2006)

metalmike23 said:


> What are the other 2?



Blade 2, Blade 3.


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## XEN (Jul 20, 2006)

Blade 3 was the worst piece of microwaved horse shit I have ever seen, and I bought it before watching it thinking that I wanted to own the whole set. And no, a hot girl could not redeem that movie at all. Maybe 5 or 6 hot girls, but then we're putting the film in a whole new category. Blade Threesome. Now that's the direction they should have taken.


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## distressed_romeo (Jul 20, 2006)

^Funny post! I only watched about thirty minutes apeice of two of the Blade films and neither was that wonderful.
BTW...love the new avatar!


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## Ibycan7 (Aug 4, 2006)

She shall be mine one day.....


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## Roland777 (Aug 4, 2006)

No Kari Byron. Still hot. I watched the first one for the cover - I'll probably watch the second one to see a bit more skin.


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## Naren (Aug 5, 2006)

noodles said:


> Blade 2, Blade 3.



I thought Blade 1 was okay. Blade 2 was kinda crappy and not a good movie by any definiton (but not nearly as bad as Underworld) and, because of my experience with the first 2 movies, I didn't watch Blade 3. I can only imagine that it must have been the worst of the three films.

But, I'm not sure what the other 2 in my top 3 would be. I have a lot of movies vying for the title. I've seriously seen a lot of vampire movies by now (used to be in a horror and cult film "club", which made me see a lot of really bad films. And, yet, even then, "Underworld" managed to be worse than a lot of films that looked like they were made on $35. Can you imagine?).

I'll just leave it as "Underworld" being in the top 3 worst vampire movies of all time, most likely in the top 2.

And, Drew, while I agree she's hot, like urklvt said, hot girls could not save that movie. Seriously, by 30 minutes into the movie, I did not want to see Kate Beckinsale's face ever again. That's how bad the movie was. But, being who I am, I watched the whole movie through and left, feeling sucked dry, horibly abused and raped by whatever idiots made that movie. It actually came out when I was still in that horor and cult film club and there wasn't really anybody who liked it. Some people said "THIS IS GONNA BE AWESOME!" before it came out, but after they saw it, even they changed their tune to somehting like, "It... it kind of sucked... you know...?  "


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## Roland777 (Aug 5, 2006)

But, can you tell me why it sucked? The only real example I can think of is when she uses up two clips to shoot a hole in the floor. The rest was sort of what I expected of a vampire movie. (Maybe I've been jaded by the horrid idiocy that is blade 2)


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## Naren (Aug 5, 2006)

Roland777 said:


> But, can you tell me why it sucked? The only real example I can think of is when she uses up two clips to shoot a hole in the floor. The rest was sort of what I expected of a vampire movie. (Maybe I've been jaded by the horrid idiocy that is blade 2)



Why Underworld sucked, you mean? Actually I usually expect "coolness" from a vampire movie. I didn't get that from either Blade or Underworld. I don't see how her using two clips to shoot a hole in the floor would make the movie suck. I had absolutely no problem with that part. First of all, Underworld's story was very mindless and boring. Second of all, there were no interesting characters or characters worth rooting for (all despicable). Thirdly, the movie really just drags and drags. There were so many things in the movie that annoyed the hell out of me. I just wanted that movie to end. In my mind, I was thinking "PLEEEEASE STOP TORTURING ME AND ENDD!!" I haven't seen it in 2 years or so and I can't remember everything about it. I can remember that it was incredibly boring, stupid, and neverending. I actually can't think of anything good about it except a good-looking actress (who really got on my nerves throughout the film, making her not such a good thing) and somewhat good graphics (that pretty much just bored me most of the time). I like some completely pointless stupid movies, assuming they are interesting despite their pointlessness and stupidity, but Underworld was just so boring... damn... I can't express how bad of a film that is. It should be a great example of how NOT to make a film...


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## Roland777 (Aug 5, 2006)

Naren said:


> I don't see how her using two clips to shoot a hole in the floor would make the movie suck, and a bunch of stuff about how Underworld sucks



I think I'm unable to enjoy any vampire-movie ever since I saw Blade 2. That was a really bad movie - Underworld was heaps better. In any case, I realise that you can't really demand much realism from a vampire-movie, but horrendeously stupid things such as wasting two clips shooting a hole in the floor using up ammunition you could have used to shoot those you're escaping from, especially as the entire firefight takes place inside a hallway that is no more than 6 feet wide and 9 feet tall. You've got stuff that defies realism, then you've got stuff that is abso-totally idiotic.


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