# Alzheimers joke - Always the best.



## Herb Dorklift (Jun 17, 2009)

2 old men with Alzheimers are at the beach enjoying the view from a bench.

One says to the other "Oh Fred, I could do with a lovely Ice Cream right now, it's so hot, It would cool me right down"

"No problem, George" says Fred "I'll nip over to the shops and get us one each. Anything in particular?"

"Hmm, " thinks George, licking his lips. "I think I'll have a double vanilla scoop!"

"Double vanilla scoop, no problem" And off walks Fred up the hill to the ice cream stall.

"Fred!" Shouts George, just as Fred is nearly at the top of the hill. "Put some nuts on it too!"

"Ok, so that's double vanilla scoop, with nuts. No problem" And off he sets again.

"Fred!" Shouts George again, "Put some of that raspberry sauce on too!" 

"Ok, so that's double vanilla scoop, nuts and raspberry sauce"

"..And a can of coke!" Adds George.

"..And a can of coke." And off Fred went to the Ice Cream stall.

15 minutes passed and Fred still hadn't returned. "I wonder where he could have got to?" said George to himself, while baking under the Sun.

30 minutes passed, no sign.

Finally, after an hour, George saw Fred wandering back over the hill. 

"There you go, " said Fred, " A nice pork pie for you, just like you asked"

"Pork Pie?" Said George, totally exasperated. "A PORK PIE?! WHERE'S MY BLOODY FISH AND CHIPS?!"


 Written out, not copy pasted from a website


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## arktan (Jun 17, 2009)

Y'know what the positive aspect of alzeimer is?

Every minute you meet new friends.


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## Herb Dorklift (Jun 17, 2009)

arktan said:


> Y'know what the positive aspect of alzeimer is?
> 
> Every minute you meet new friends.


 
GET YOUR OWN DAMN THREAD


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## Scar Symmetry (Jun 17, 2009)

arktan said:


> Y'know what the positive aspect of alzeimer is?



I can't remember.


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## arktan (Jun 17, 2009)

Scar Symmetry said:


> I can't remember.











> GET YOUR OWN DAMN THREAD


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## leandroab (Jun 17, 2009)

My aunt has Alzheimers.

It's not so fun when she can't remember that you even existed... 

The joke was funny though


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## scottro202 (Jun 17, 2009)

I always meet new friends, even in my own house!!!

what a lovely lawn and garden forum this is, huh?


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## GazPots (Jun 17, 2009)




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## liamh (Jun 17, 2009)

GazPots said:


>


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## Benjo230 (Jun 17, 2009)

How ironic that this is posted whilst my family are at the 70th/80th (can't remember ) birthday party of my dad's friends mother who has alzheimers. 

I would be there, but then decided "What's the point, she won't remember that i didn't go".


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## EliNoPants (Jun 17, 2009)

i don't need alzheimer's to meet people repeatedly, i forget who i've met constantly, i forget names when i do remember meeting them, and the people i do remember, i forget what i've told them, so i tell my friends the same stories over and over again

oh whiskey, how can i ever thank you for the ability to meet the same new friends every weekend?


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## Piro (Jun 18, 2009)

Best Alzheimer's joke ever: oh wait I forgot.....

Seriously the best one is:
How many people with Alzheimer's does it take to screw in a light bulb?





To get to the other side.


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## vortex_infinium (Jun 18, 2009)

My favourite is...



> Doctor: I've got your test results and some bad news. You have cancer and Alzheimer's.
> Man: Boy, am I lucky! I was afraid I had cancer!


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## RenegadeDave (Jun 18, 2009)

Three elderly ladies are sitting on a bench in the park a man in a trench coat comes up and flashes them. Immediately two of the three ladies have a stroke. The third couldn't quite reach.


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## CrushingAnvil (Jun 18, 2009)

RenegadeDave said:


> Three elderly ladies are sitting on a bench in the park a man in a trench coat comes up and flashes them. Immediately two of the three ladies have a stroke. The third couldn't quite reach.





what does that have to do with Alzheimers?

"Three months ago I struck my wife after I found out we had no Neopolitan ice-cream left, two weeks later I found out my wife died three years ago.....




...who the hell did I hit?"


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## Buzz762 (Jun 19, 2009)

I'll probably go to hell for this, but whenever I have a non-critical patient with Alzheimer's or severe dementia (non-alzheimers) I can never help but have a little fun. A personal favorite is the meow game (Look it up if you don't know what this is). Another favorite is talking like "The Tick"


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## meisterjager (Jun 24, 2009)

every single joke here beats the living shit out of the OP's joke


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