# How many Oreos do you eat in a sitting?



## Frey (Jul 18, 2020)

Thought I'd take to the internet with the most frequently and passionately debated topic in my life. 

Do you adhere to the generous 3 cookie serving size for base Oreos? Dust off the whole pack?

I'd rather not disclose my preference


----------



## MaxOfMetal (Jul 18, 2020)

Seemingly both too many yet not enough.


----------



## KnightBrolaire (Jul 18, 2020)

the answer is n+1, where n is the number of oreos I've already eaten.


----------



## sleewell (Jul 18, 2020)

6


----------



## Demiurge (Jul 18, 2020)

Oreos per sitting? 2 or 3... and we're not talking about how _frequent_ said "sittings" are, yes?


----------



## Frey (Jul 18, 2020)

sleewell said:


> 6



I don't know if I can trust someone with such a decisive and might I add, low answer


----------



## Frey (Jul 18, 2020)

MaxOfMetal said:


> Seemingly both too many yet not enough.





KnightBrolaire said:


> the answer is n+1, where n is the number of oreos I've already eaten.



I'm glad I'm not the only one subscribed to this school of thought.


----------



## Frey (Jul 18, 2020)

Demiurge said:


> Oreos per sitting? 2 or 3... and we're not talking about how _frequent_ said "sittings" are, yes?



We DEFINITELY don't talk about how frequent the sittings are..


----------



## Edika (Jul 18, 2020)

As many as the packet has


----------



## High Plains Drifter (Jul 18, 2020)

Double stuff only/ one sleeve minimum. But I twist and discard one disc per cookie... maximizing the stuff/ minimizing the crunch. It's a madness that I can't control. I've put em in a bowl of milk too... creating a kind of creamy slurry. Don't mess with me.


----------



## BenjaminW (Jul 18, 2020)

Always too many. They’re good as hell but if I eat too many it doesn’t agree with my stomach and I question whether I can continue to eat chocolate and whatever the creme filling is made out of.


----------



## budda (Jul 18, 2020)

Demiurge said:


> Oreos per sitting? 2 or 3... and we're not talking about how _frequent_ said "sittings" are, yes?



Likewise. 3 if I bought the pack


----------



## Hollowway (Jul 18, 2020)

Good god, Oreos are the best thing ever. In one of the 3 row bags/packs, I typically polish off 1.5 rows. So half the pack. And it’s not unusual for me to do another half row later in the day. This is ALWAYS followed by feeling like crap physically, and like a total loser for having no will power. I’ve asked the wife to not buy them, but they still show up at the house once a month.

edit: someone needs to post the Gary Gulman bit on cookies and Oreos.


----------



## Furtive Glance (Jul 18, 2020)

Oh man... at least a full row if I don't pay attention. I'm getting PTSD just thinking of the time I pretty much cleaned out an entire box of Golden Oreos in middle school. I think I was vibrating from the sugar for 5 hours afterwards. That being said, I like the OG ones the best.


----------



## Frey (Jul 18, 2020)

This is turning into the support group for Oreo addiction I'd secretly hoped it would


----------



## jaxadam (Jul 18, 2020)

None. If it's not grass-fed beef, icelandic cod, or pasture raised eggs it's not on the menu.


----------



## Frey (Jul 18, 2020)

jaxadam said:


> None. If it's not grass-fed beef, icelandic cod, or pasture raised eggs it's not on the menu.



You're missing out on some groovy physical degradation my friend


----------



## Mathemagician (Jul 18, 2020)

All of them next question.


----------



## Electric Wizard (Jul 18, 2020)

I adhere to the Brian Regan cookie eating philosophy.


----------



## Kaura (Jul 20, 2020)

I've only had Oreos once and they were gross. I prefer the Finnish knock-offs. Though, it's been years since I even ate those.


----------



## USMarine75 (Jul 20, 2020)

I don't eat until I'm full... I eat until I hate myself.


----------



## Seabeast2000 (Jul 20, 2020)

Diet tip: Save your immediate gratification investment (Oreos) towards something long term, like a Daemoness build. 

YW, 
Dr. Seabeast, LLC


----------



## KnightBrolaire (Jul 20, 2020)

Kaura said:


> I've only had Oreos once and they were gross. I prefer the Finnish knock-offs. Though, it's been years since I even ate those.


get out. now.


----------



## High Plains Drifter (Jul 20, 2020)

Seabeast2000 said:


> Diet tip: Save your immediate gratification investment (Oreos) towards something long term, like a Daemoness build.
> 
> YW,
> Dr. Seabeast, LLC



I'll bet that Dylan could do some wickedly sinful Oreo graphics!


----------



## MFB (Jul 20, 2020)

KnightBrolaire said:


> get out. now.



Kaura is a Hydrox man, confirmed.

But he's not wrong, Oreos are kind of shite. Chips Ahoy reign supreme.


----------



## KnightBrolaire (Jul 20, 2020)

MFB said:


> Kaura is a Hydrox man, confirmed.
> 
> But he's not wrong, Oreos are kind of shite. Chips Ahoy reign supreme.


Oreos are purely a delivery system for the creme filling tbh. 
chips ahoy are dogshit compared to walkers/pepperidge farms. If I'm buying chocolate chip cookies then I want something that doesn't taste like sawdust mixed with semisweet chocolate


----------



## Kaura (Jul 20, 2020)

KnightBrolaire said:


> Oreos are purely a delivery system for the creme filling tbh.
> chips ahoy are dogshit compared to walkers/pepperidge farms. If I'm buying chocolate chip cookies then I want something that doesn't taste like sawdust mixed with semisweet chocolate



Yeah, I can't remember having any problems with the filling. But the cookies were tough as concrete.


----------



## wheresthefbomb (Jul 20, 2020)

It all depends on when I stop myself. I usually max out at two sleeves in a sitting, but the other day I ate an entire family size package of carrot cake oreos during a pickup and bridge swap. This is why I don't often buy myself snacks, they become meals.

Also those fudge dipped oreos though holy shit. My stoned ass stopped dead in my tracks when I saw those in safeway the other day.

Ever since I stopped drinking my sugar cravings are outrageous, I've even taken up baking, it makes the imminent cookie binge feel slightly less unearned.


----------



## spudmunkey (Jul 20, 2020)

Just enough to make enough room to get the party started.


----------



## KnightBrolaire (Jul 20, 2020)

spudmunkey said:


> Just enough to make enough room to get the party started.
> 
> View attachment 82877


this is almost as bad as the mayonaise and pea pizza. almost.


----------



## spudmunkey (Jul 20, 2020)

The thing is, though...cool ranch cookies with an avocado-flavored cream with pico bits? It could work.


----------



## Mathemagician (Jul 20, 2020)

The “thin” Oreos are even better because they have a crispy crunch like a chip while you’re giving yourself diabetes. Adds a little “zazzle”. 

But yeah that’s 100% why I don’t buy junk food regularly. I’d rather go eat out somewhere fun than inhale a bag of delicious delicious Doritos. 

Chips ahoy are garbage. Any grocery store bakery cookie is better. They are the Lacroix of cookies.


----------



## spudmunkey (Jul 20, 2020)

The thing is, I'll open a package to have a few, probably 4-5. Then I'll grab two more before I put them away, and then I'll grab two more the next time I swing through.


----------



## _MonSTeR_ (Jul 20, 2020)

I’ve never eaten an Oreo.


----------



## Frey (Jul 20, 2020)

KnightBrolaire said:


> Oreos are purely a delivery system for the creme filling tbh.
> chips ahoy are dogshit compared to walkers/pepperidge farms. If I'm buying chocolate chip cookies then I want something that doesn't taste like sawdust mixed with semisweet chocolate



Dude, you've given me the Chips Ahoy description I've never quite been able to articulate myself XD I will say, despite their similar nature to Chips Ahoy I can get down with Famous Amos cookies.



spudmunkey said:


> The thing is, though...cool ranch cookies with an avocado-flavored cream with pico bits? It could work.



When I get past my initial contempt at the thought, I realize you could be onto something there..


----------



## Frey (Jul 20, 2020)

_MonSTeR_ said:


> I’ve never eaten an Oreo.



I didn't know we had a noble Tuvaluan on our board!


----------



## spudmunkey (Jul 20, 2020)

KnightBrolaire said:


> Oreos are purely a delivery system for the creme filling tbh.



To a point. There needs to be balance, though. Anything beyond double-stuff, and I'm no longer interested in more than 1 cookie. And maybe even none of the largest ones.

I remember the Big Stuff oreos in the 80s, which were about the diameter of a hocky puck, and being dissapointed that there was about about the same filling thickness as a standrd double-stuff oreo. Maaybe a little more. However, they've recently (past few years, anyway) come out with Mega Stuff and Most Stuff. Those newest two are gross. The filling seems greasier than it used to. it's also squishier. I reemmber oreos from decades past where the filling wasn't really compressable. This is, and oozes a little. A bit like Trader Joe's "Jo-Jos", but still...somehow greasier. Maybe all of the rest also have this new cream filling, but by being thinner, maybe the grossness is toned down in the thins, regular, and double-stuff.

Slim ------- Regular ------- Double ------- Mega ------ Most:


----------



## thebeesknees22 (Jul 20, 2020)

My oreo eating method:

grab a small plate. put 4 on. Then stack another 4 on top of those. Then stack 2 more in the center. Grab a cup of milk... devour. Must eat them whole.

..I'm guilty of finishing off a package in 2-3 days, but I haven't done that in quite a while. I try to buy the smaller packages now so I don't blow through as many so fast lol


----------



## MaxOfMetal (Jul 20, 2020)

Whatcha do, is grab the big mug from the cubard. You know, the "big" one. 

You fill the sonofabitch 2/3 of the way with milk. 

Then you dump at least half a sleeve of Oreos in there. Then you wait. 

Once they're nice and soft, you devour. Not with utensils, with your fucking hands. This is important. 

Once you can no longer get a solid clump, you drink down the remaining Oreo milk. 

Spend the rest of the afternoon in the bathroom because you're lactose intolerant.

That's how it's done.


----------



## p0ke (Jul 21, 2020)

Kaura said:


> I've only had Oreos once and they were gross. I prefer the Finnish knock-offs. Though, it's been years since I even ate those.



You beat me to it  Dominos or even the Pirkka whatever they're calleds are a lot better. I don't have any problem with the actual cookie part, but the cream stuff is just way too greasy tasting.
I don't understand why Oreos are getting popular here in the first place, since they're relatively new here and Dominos have existed forever... 
My mother in law forgets that we don't like them every year and buys Oreos for the kids' birthday parties, and then we have them laying around for months because no-one wants to eat them. Even the kids don't like them, and they would eat all other kinds of cookies for every meal if we'd let them.


----------



## spudmunkey (Jul 21, 2020)

p0ke said:


> I don't understand why Oreos are getting popular here in the first place, since they're relatively new here and Dominos have existed forever...



History repeating itself.

In the US, Hydrox came out before Oreo, bur Oreo is still standing and have only really compete against store brands and maaaaybe Trader Joe's "Joe-Joe's"...but I honestly don't know if the Joe-Joe's are even on the market share radar. N


----------



## Demiurge (Jul 21, 2020)

^I could take or leave the Trader Joe's until Christmas, where they dip them in chocolate and cover them in peppermint. And they're, like, as many calories as 3 normals.


----------



## Daemoniac (Jul 22, 2020)

At least one, easily.


----------



## vilk (Jul 22, 2020)

Lifehack: stab the 'stuf' with a fork and submerse the entire cookie in milk before eating whole and getting neither milk nor cookie on your hands.


----------



## JD27 (Jul 22, 2020)

I had a moment of weakness during the lockdown and ate a metric fuckton of oreos (and other assorted garbage). That was a poor choice that I’ve spent the past 2 months erasing.


----------



## jaxadam (Jul 22, 2020)

MaxOfMetal said:


> Whatcha do, is grab the big mug from the cubard. You know, the "big" one.
> 
> You fill the sonofabitch 2/3 of the way with milk.
> 
> ...



That sounds absolutely disgusting as shit.


----------



## Rosal76 (Jul 22, 2020)

Daemoniac said:


> At least one, easily.



+1.

However........


----------



## spudmunkey (Jul 22, 2020)

vilk said:


> Lifehack: stab the 'stuf' with a fork and submerse the entire cookie in milk before eating whole and getting neither milk nor cookie on your hands.



Only if you're poor, and have cheap stamped flatware. /s The tines of all of my forks are apparently too lavish/robust, and too thicc. They just act as a wedge to split apart the layers of the cookie.

However, I've seen people have great success with chop sticks. I am not gifted with such skill.


----------



## KnightBrolaire (Jul 22, 2020)

spudmunkey said:


> Only if you're poor, and have cheap stamped flatware. /s The tines of all of my forks are apparently too lavish/robust, and too thicc. They just act as a wedge to split apart the layers of the cookie.
> 
> However, I've seen people have great success with chop sticks. I am not gifted with such skill.


use a butter knife or a single chopstick and skewer the creme. same effect, but more fun.


----------



## Seabeast2000 (Jul 22, 2020)

KnightBrolaire said:


> use a butter knife or a single chopstick and skewer the creme. same effect, but more fun.



Witch trials larping!!!


----------



## KnightBrolaire (Jul 22, 2020)

Seabeast2000 said:


> Witch trials larping!!!


 Start up the Crucible, pile a bunch of oreos on your chest and see how many you can eat before Giles Corey says" More weight"


----------



## Seybsnilksz (Jul 23, 2020)

Oreos are not as overrated here in Sweden thank god, but I can tell they're trying to break into the market more because a bunch of other companies put official Oreo stuff in their products. I'm not having that


----------



## c7spheres (Jul 23, 2020)

- I like oatmeal cookies, only the soft one's with raisins though. 
- Oreo's are only good if you take the top off and eat only the bottom cookie and the filling. That top cookies gotta go. I can eat like 3 and I'm good. 
- Those chocolate wafers are better anyways. They will alter your metabolism and make you fat after eating 1 brick of them though. A food that really should come with a warning label : )


----------



## Frey (Jul 23, 2020)

KnightBrolaire said:


> use a butter knife or a single chopstick and skewer the creme. same effect, but more fun.



Well, Skewer the Cream is definitely my next band name


----------



## Winspear (Jul 24, 2020)

Generally I only eat entire packs of biscuits in one go. _Maybe_ half. Or one per sitting but with a sitting occurring every time I pass through the kitchen (in both directions). Because spending an entire days calories on a snack is very wise.


----------



## Frey (Jul 28, 2020)

Winspear said:


> Generally I only eat entire packs of biscuits in one go. _Maybe_ half. Or one per sitting but with a sitting occurring every time I pass through the kitchen (in both directions). Because spending an entire days calories on a snack is very wise.



The way I see it, if I'm going to indulge in some toxic stuff, I'm going to get my money's worth in enjoyment and go all out. The benefit of taking care of 1-2 days worth of calories in one sitting is just a plus


----------



## Mathemagician (Jul 28, 2020)

c7spheres said:


> - I like oatmeal cookies, only the soft one's with OUT raisins though.



FTFY.

Get Raisins Out of Snacks 2020
- The “Raisins are liars and you thought you were eating chocolate chips” Party


----------



## BlackSG91 (Jul 29, 2020)

Usually when I have an Oreo I can't fight this feeling to have another.







;>)/


----------



## Bearitone (Jul 29, 2020)

I prefer Chips Ahoy?


----------



## tacotiklah (Aug 5, 2020)

"How many Oreos do you eat in one sitting?"

Yes.


----------



## SamSam (Aug 5, 2020)

One.


----------



## Seabeast2000 (Aug 5, 2020)

SamSam said:


> One.


----------



## KnightBrolaire (Aug 5, 2020)

Seabeast2000 said:


>


he meant one package


----------



## lurè (Aug 11, 2020)

Never tried Oreos


----------



## MFB (Aug 11, 2020)

lurè said:


> Never tried Oreos



Out there in the universe, is a YT "celebrity" wishing he was you so he could cash in on a "first time trying an Oreo" reaction video


----------



## lurè (Aug 11, 2020)

MFB said:


> Out there in the universe, is a YT "celebrity" wishing he was you so he could cash in on a "first time trying an Oreo" reaction video



And another ready for a reaction video to a reaction to "trying Oreo for the first time".


----------



## Demiurge (Aug 11, 2020)

"But first- you know what I HAVE tried before that I enjoyed, it's [mobile game/VPN/ear buds/Audible]."


----------



## Mathemagician (Aug 11, 2020)

Let me just say that I am so glad we have a thread that hit 4 pages on OREOS. Not baking, not “how to make it” not about alternatives for various dietary questions. Just “Do you eat?” “Yes” “Correct is your path.”


----------



## KnightBrolaire (Aug 11, 2020)

Mathemagician said:


> Let me just say that I am so glad we have a thread that hit 4 pages on OREOS. Not baking, not “how to make it” not about alternatives for various dietary questions. Just “Do you eat?” “Yes” “Correct is your path.”


It's a nice break from all the political shit that keeps getting bumped.


----------



## Mathemagician (Aug 11, 2020)

KnightBrolaire said:


> It's a nice break from all the political shit that keeps getting bumped.



>.>

<.< 

So Oreo/cookies & cream ice cream, who makes the best version?


----------



## Metropolis (Aug 11, 2020)

Oreos are good only for baking and ice cream. As is the finnish knock-offs called Domino are better.


----------



## KnightBrolaire (Aug 11, 2020)

Mathemagician said:


> >.>
> 
> <.<
> 
> So Oreo/cookies & cream ice cream, who makes the best version?


Avoid breyers/edy's. They are garbage. 
I'm partial to Kemps if I'm buying ice cream, but I'm fairly certain they're a regional brand, like Blue bonnet/blue bell is down in texas.
Honestly it's easier to smash up some cookies and make your own ice cream. It'll taste better than like 90% of the store brand crap out there.


----------



## Demiurge (Aug 11, 2020)

If mixing with soft serve isn't cheating, I like the Dairy Queen Blizzards with Oreo. They are atrociously unhealthy even in the small sizes, though.


----------



## Mathemagician (Aug 11, 2020)

I think soft serve is allowed. It’s not trying to sneak in under the radar like “frozen dessert treat” in the ice cream aisle. It’s very up front.


----------



## Frey (Aug 11, 2020)

Mathemagician said:


> Let me just say that I am so glad we have a thread that hit 4 pages on OREOS. Not baking, not “how to make it” not about alternatives for various dietary questions. Just “Do you eat?” “Yes” “Correct is your path.”



And with each new post disclosing our atrocious eating habits, we can all feel that much more guilt free about our atrocious eating habits!


----------



## Frey (Aug 11, 2020)

Metropolis said:


> Oreos are good only for baking and ice cream. As is the finnish knock-offs called Domino are better.



Wait, are you saying you bake Oreos? 



Demiurge said:


> If mixing with soft serve isn't cheating, I like the Dairy Queen Blizzards with Oreo. They are atrociously unhealthy even in the small sizes, though.



I thank God every day that there isn't a Dairy Queen near me or I'd certainly be dead by now.


----------



## Demiurge (Aug 11, 2020)

^I just moved to a place that's within a 5 minute drive of one. Luckily, there's always a line of cars for the drive-thru far out in the street whenever I go by so I just go to the Italian bakery across the street instead. Next Dr. Phil special where an 800lb man has to get cut out of their house to go to the hospital- that will be me.


----------



## Mathemagician (Aug 11, 2020)

I once stopped for a quick bite while driving and got a turkey sub/sandwich of some sort from DQ. 

When I tell you that was just as greasy as a Burger King or McDonald’s burger I am not kidding. Idk what was used on it or if it was toasted or what. But good lord. I should have just gotten chicken strips.


----------



## Frey (Aug 11, 2020)

Demiurge said:


> I once stopped for a quick bite while driving and got a turkey sub/sandwich of some sort from DQ.
> 
> When I tell you that was just as greasy as a Burger King or McDonald’s burger I am not kidding. Idk what was used on it or if it was toasted or what. But good lord. I should have just gotten chicken strips.



If memory serves, "pure grease" is one of their condiment options


----------



## Metropolis (Aug 11, 2020)

Frey said:


> Wait, are you saying you bake Oreos?
> 
> 
> 
> I thank God every day that there isn't a Dairy Queen near me or I'd certainly be dead by now.



Just as a bottom for the cheesecake...


----------



## Mathemagician (Aug 11, 2020)

Metropolis said:


> Just as a bottom for the cheesecake...



That should just be the bottom of every cake, ngl.


----------



## Yonko (Aug 12, 2020)

I toss the filling and eat the cookies.


----------

