# Zoltan Bathory's hideous new sig



## Symb0lic (Apr 28, 2013)

As some of you may or may not know, I like my Dean guitars, but even I recoiled in disgust when I saw this on the Dean Facebook page






What went through his mind when he designed this? It looks like a pair of scissors.


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## feilong29 (Apr 28, 2013)

I think Don Donegan from Disturbed's signature guitar is WORSE than this one!


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## Yimmj (Apr 28, 2013)

Symb0lic said:


> What went through his mind when he designed this? It looks like a pair of scissors.



what went through his mind? aparently he figured "creative suicide" sells

its a dean, which im not particularly a fan of to begin with, but sweet jesus that thing is UGLY.


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## BucketheadRules (Apr 28, 2013)

Fuck me, that's beyond foul.



Also, feilong29 - Dan Donegan's guitar:






I think that's alright. Not really my thing, but nowhere near as offensively hideous as that Dean...


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## redstone (Apr 28, 2013)

It looks like a Dean.


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## Danukenator (Apr 28, 2013)

IMO, it wasn't too awful until I noticed the fuckin suitcase handle. 

Curious to try one.


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## 7deadlysins666 (Apr 28, 2013)

Guess so much for this:


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## Symb0lic (Apr 28, 2013)

7deadlysins666 said:


> Guess so much for this:



Yeah, I actually kinda liked the ASM.

Certainly better than this thing that looks like a medieval weapon with an assault rifle handle.


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## that short guy (Apr 28, 2013)

7deadlysins666 said:


> Guess so much for this:



Thank God I just got mine lol


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## redstone (Apr 28, 2013)

Dean makes the finest ugly guitars in the world©. 

But here are the ugliest guitars Rhinehart Guitars: custom handmade electric art guitars for sale


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## Symb0lic (Apr 28, 2013)

redstone said:


> Dean makes the finest ugly guitars in the world©.
> 
> But here are the ugliest guitars Rhinehart Guitars: custom handmade electric art guitars for sale



The vegetable guitar is hilarious, but even though they're all hideous, I can appreciate the work that's gone into them.


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## UV7BK4LIFE (Apr 28, 2013)

Symb0lic said:


> As some of you may or may not know, I like my Dean guitars, but even I recoiled in disgust when I saw this on the Dean Facebook page
> 
> 
> 
> ...


 
He is really in touch with his feminine side and showing it. Long hair and a handbag to match the shoes.


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## BucketheadRules (Apr 28, 2013)

redstone said:


> It looks like a Dean.



It doesn't to me.

To me, Deans look like this:


















That Zoltan thing doesn't look like a Dean, it looks more like a pale cousin of EVH's shark guitar with elephantiasis.


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## Curt (Apr 28, 2013)

I want to gouge my eyes out with that thing but fear that I would be forever haunted by that hideous monstrosity having been the last thing I ever saw.


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## poopyalligator (Apr 28, 2013)

You can add this to the shitty lineup of dean guitars.


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## HeHasTheJazzHands (Apr 28, 2013)

feilong29 said:


> I think Don Donegan from Disturbed's signature guitar is WORSE than this one!



I'm calling bullshit. This thing makes Jason Hook's sig look tame.


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## jephjacques (Apr 28, 2013)

I was okay with it until I saw the handle

then I died

now I'm dead


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## Andromalia (Apr 28, 2013)

Yuck.


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## redstone (Apr 28, 2013)

BucketheadRules said:


> That Zoltan thing doesn't look like a Dean, it looks more like a pale cousin of EVH's shark guitar with elephantiasis.



Yeah you're right. To me, it looks like a purse.


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## engage757 (Apr 28, 2013)

shoot it. shoot it now.


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## WaffleTheEpic (Apr 28, 2013)

Terribly gross guitar for a terribly bad band.  I think it suits him.


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## fateofthorns666 (Apr 28, 2013)

Kill it with fire.....


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## abadonae (Apr 28, 2013)

Given that he looks like a bad insane clown posse 'bad boy' i'm not sure i'm completely surprised by this. 

Let's hope Dean doesn't try and sell it to the public


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## Don Vito (Apr 28, 2013)

Symb0lic said:


>


Very classy 

Would play progressive metalcore on.


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## s_k_mullins (Apr 28, 2013)

This thing is fucking hideous! 

His other Dean custom looks much better IMO, minus the inlay. 







Also, the original mockup I saw for this guitar didn't have the handle on it. Why the fuck did he add a handle?!


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## asher (Apr 28, 2013)

I think it looks mostly fine except for that goddamn handle, tbh.


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## crg123 (Apr 28, 2013)

Haha the handle is hilariously bad and I actually like the Ibanez Jem handle.


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## Advv (Apr 28, 2013)

Looks okay if you exclude the handle.

Not my cup of tea but still looks okay.


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## ittoa666 (Apr 28, 2013)

jephjacques said:


> I was okay with it until I saw the handle
> 
> then I died
> 
> now I'm dead



Posting from the grave.


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## TRENCHLORD (Apr 28, 2013)

Is it just me or does that thing make Zoltan look about 4ft tall?


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## Captain Butterscotch (Apr 28, 2013)

Dean just cannot produce anything that I like. I mean, I've tried to be nice and objective, but they all just look terrible, cheap, and tacky.

This guy has no excuse. He has an entire guitar company ready to design whatever he comes up with and mass produce it as a signature guitar to consumers worldwide and he comes up WITH THIS?! For shame.


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## novocaine (Apr 28, 2013)




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## StratFreak11 (Apr 28, 2013)

The guitar is meh, the handle is ridiculous. Looks like a guitar that failed miserable on the CNC...

How does he go from that SEXY asm to this... ?


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## MetalDaze (Apr 28, 2013)

s_k_mullins said:


> Also, the original mockup I saw for this guitar didn't have the handle on it. Why the fuck did he add a handle?!


 
That is WAYYYYY better. Either way, I'm glad this doesn't move the needle on my GAS meter. There's already plenty on my "want it" list


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## Grand Moff Tim (Apr 29, 2013)

Haha, it looks like something Hondo would've made in the 80s.


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## misingonestring (Apr 29, 2013)

Looks like a Razorback and a JEM had a baby.


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## TIBrent (Apr 29, 2013)

As I believe I said a month or so back when Gibson announced five finger death punch's other guitarist's signature guitar...'Lame bands make lame signature guitars'. Yup


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## Joomis (Apr 29, 2013)

What happened....seriously what happened. The BC Rich is much better IMO!


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## Don Vito (Apr 29, 2013)

So is this thing coming to retail? I don't fancy the toolbox handle but I seriously dig this.

edit: could jam some red play-doh in there

problem solved


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## Gamblore (Apr 29, 2013)

The inlays are just awful looking.


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## Dawn of the Shred (Apr 29, 2013)

Got hit by the ugly stick a lil to much.


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## cronux (Apr 29, 2013)

to me it looks like this







had sex with this






while listening to this


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## Shredmon (Apr 29, 2013)

hahaha, cronux...... i thought something like that when i saw it the first time....
fugly as most deans are.... (besides the Rusty Cooley Models)

greets


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## BucketheadRules (Apr 29, 2013)

s_k_mullins said:


> Also, the original mockup I saw for this guitar didn't have the handle on it. Why the fuck did he add a handle?!



Dear sweet Christ, that's even worse.

That shape makes me cry.


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## BucketheadRules (Apr 29, 2013)

novocaine said:


>



Oh, I forgot Zoltan had that really appealing and not-at-all-disturbing military equipment fetish...


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## cronux (Apr 29, 2013)

^ 

i kinda like it, reminds me of those old guerilla guitar models


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## ZEBOV (Apr 29, 2013)

No more ASM?


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## TRENCHLORD (Apr 29, 2013)

cronux said:


> ^
> 
> i kinda like it, reminds me of those old guerilla guitar models


 
I love the turret body, can't say the same for these but I can see the similarity if I squint really hard . And chop off that damned handle with my reverse imagination.


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## Ironbird (Apr 29, 2013)

Dean has done much worse, IMO.

I don't mind this one at all. The outrageous bevels and handle and bevels, I can live without, but it's not fugly.


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## anunnaki (Apr 29, 2013)

Haha it looks like something you might find on alibaba


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## indrangelion (Apr 29, 2013)

Advv said:


> Not my cup of tea but still looks okay.


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## skisgaar (Apr 29, 2013)

BucketheadRules said:


> Oh, I forgot Zoltan had that really appealing and not-at-all-disturbing military equipment fetish...



Have you seen the certificate they got for serving a few months in Iraq? Shit's hilarious!

To be honest, I gave up on seeing 5fdp do anything interesting a few years ago. The whole "CAPITALISM, FUCK YEAH!!!!!!!" thing ruined any semblance of quality their music ever had. This guitar is horrid, and is no exception


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## ridner (Apr 29, 2013)

I can't wait to buy one


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## Chasethebreather (Apr 29, 2013)

Everything about that picture is offensive. Please don't make it available for purchase.


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## Jakke (Apr 29, 2013)

BucketheadRules said:


> Also, feilong29 - Dan Donegan's guitar:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I really like that Schecter...


On topic.. I can't see why he would trade away those tasty, tasty BCR:s


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## m3l-mrq3z (Apr 29, 2013)

HiDEANous.


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## no_dice (Apr 29, 2013)

The black one is considerably better in my opinion, but still not my taste at all. Also, the cup of tea pic made me


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## Kaappari (Apr 29, 2013)

Looks kinda like an 80's Westone, but without the appeal


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## The Spanish Inquisition (Apr 29, 2013)

redstone said:


> Dean makes the finest ugly guitars in the world©.
> 
> But here are the ugliest guitars Rhinehart Guitars: custom handmade electric art guitars for sale



I wonder if they also make a bass.


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## TheWarAgainstTime (Apr 29, 2013)

I'm pretty sure I remember a video where Steve Vai said that part of the design of the JEM handle was to have a feature on a guitar that nobody else would be crazy or ridiculous enough to copy/slightly alter  

Looks like we've got something new and crazy to look forward to from him now


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## will_shred (Apr 29, 2013)

redstone said:


> It looks like a Dean.



it seems very popular to bash dean on here, and they're certainly very bashible but you can't say that the USA ML and V models aren't extremely classy. Also the necks are super comfy.


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## jrstinkfish (Apr 29, 2013)

Reminds me of this for some reason:






I wonder if it can play "La Cucaracha"?


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## Curt (Apr 29, 2013)

Honestly I am biased, the only "metal" shapes I like are RR/King V's, and the "star" shape...
I will say I like that color with those pickups.


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## AhsanU (Apr 29, 2013)

I love Dean and own a few USA guitars along with a custom shop USA Dean.. but good grief that thing is beyond ugly. I saw that posted on their facebook and wanted to stick my dick in an electrical socket. It's just plain ugly.


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## uberthrall (Apr 30, 2013)

It's a shame what Dean turned into. Back in the day their stuff was awesome. That day seems like a real long time ago now.


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## bradthelegend (Apr 30, 2013)

Looks like everyone in the band has terrible taste: http://www.sevenstring.org/forum/standard-guitars/224124-gibson-fails-again.html

But then again, judging by their music, that comes as no surprise.


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## Enter Paradox (Apr 30, 2013)

emm cant unsee..


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## craigny (Apr 30, 2013)

I've seen worse. Not my cup o tea and I dig crazy shapes but that misses te mark for me. I also agree the black one in the mockup looks WAAAAAAYYY better


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## Steinmetzify (Apr 30, 2013)

Nope. I will unabashedly say that I love the ML and Stealth shapes, but this thing needs to die. Kill it with fire, and let whoever invented it have their eyes struck from their head. Same thing for whatever "artist relations manager" let that thing get past the idea table into actual reality. It's fucking horrible and looks like a PlaySkool version of what a guitar should look like....


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## Origin (Apr 30, 2013)

The ASM is so goddamn beautiful, how the hell did it come to this?

Oh, right.

Dean.


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## CrownofWorms (Apr 30, 2013)




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## lemeker (May 1, 2013)

TheWarAgainstTime said:


> I'm pretty sure I remember a video where Steve Vai said that part of the design of the JEM handle was to have a feature on a guitar that nobody else would be crazy or ridiculous enough to copy/slightly alter......




Yeah, but the handle on the Jem was tastefully done. The handle (ok the whole guitar) on that Dean is just....


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## Doomlord (May 1, 2013)

Congratulations, you just designed a sharp red turd with a handle. Fuck that guitar.


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## jl-austin (May 1, 2013)

Dean. The WWF of guitar companies.


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## Don Vito (May 1, 2013)

AhsanU said:


> I love Dean and own a few USA guitars along with a custom shop USA Dean.. but good grief that thing is beyond ugly. I saw that posted on their facebook and wanted to stick my dick in an electrical socket. It's just plain ugly.


Shit, must feel alienating to spend so much money on a company people hate so much 

But seriously, your Razorback V 7 is awesome.


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## Captain Butterscotch (May 1, 2013)

edit


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## Konfyouzd (May 1, 2013)

I don't think it's that bad... I'm just not sure where the pseudo monkey grip thing came from...


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## jeleopard (May 1, 2013)

bradthelegend said:


> Looks like everyone in the band has terrible taste: http://www.sevenstring.org/forum/standard-guitars/224124-gibson-fails-again.html
> 
> But then again, judging by their music, that comes as no surprise.



I personally don't think the Gibson is anywhere near as bad as this..


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## -42- (May 1, 2013)

Xiphos and Ironbird bang after a coke binge.

Child born with birth defects.


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## lordrcceaser (May 1, 2013)

I like dean and star shapes, but man is that thing fugly


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## Bloody_Inferno (May 1, 2013)

jeleopard said:


> I personally don't think the Gibson is anywhere near as bad as this..


 
Oh it is:







Notice how that stupid plastic flex tube still doesn't cover all the routing beneath the pickups.


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## Chuck (May 1, 2013)

A crappy guitar to match his crappy skills?


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## ej207t (May 2, 2013)

indrangelion said:


>





oh man thats genius!

someone should post this on Deans fbook page


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## vilk (May 2, 2013)

This guitar looks EXACTLY how five finger death punch sounds. It's like incredible, I would have never thought sound could be converted so completely into a tangible object. The man is simultaneously a genius and a talent-less hack.


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## christheasian (May 2, 2013)

no


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## hairychris (May 2, 2013)

With signature guitars like this, 5FDP are one of the following:

1) Epic trolls

2) Cunts


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## Basti (May 2, 2013)

It'd almost be acceptable in another colour...I guess black is too mainstream or something.


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## Konfyouzd (May 2, 2013)

Well apparently Dean will build anything for anyone... I know where I'm sending my demo tape..


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## BIG ND SWEATY (May 2, 2013)

well now we know that song writing skills have a direct correlation to guitar designing skills in 5FDPs case


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## Konfyouzd (May 2, 2013)

Ouch... I've never even heard one of their songs... You guys are making me not even wanna check em out.


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## SDMFVan (May 2, 2013)

5FDP's music sounds like someone heard Godsmack and thought "Not generic enough!"


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## BuckarooBanzai (May 2, 2013)

Sorry in advance for the off-topicness, but I saw this dude's name pop up in the front-page feed and this is the first thing I thought of:






Although I think that besides the handle this guitar isn't _too_ terrible-looking...


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## mickeyr (May 2, 2013)

s_k_mullins said:


> This thing is fucking hideous!
> 
> His other Dean custom looks much better IMO, minus the inlay.
> 
> ...



guess he just thoght he is like some vai with a "monkey grip"


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## Randy (May 2, 2013)

Ironbird said:


> I don't mind this one at all.


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## BucketheadRules (May 2, 2013)

Konfyouzd said:


> Ouch... I've never even heard one of their songs... You guys are making me not even wanna check em out.



As Michael Keene said once on Twitter:

"I just heard Five finger death punch for the first time. That cannot be undone. I now know that exists."


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## mr_rainmaker (May 2, 2013)

offtopic,but friend of mine swears he met him at D-Day(largest paintball event)


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## Xiphos68 (May 2, 2013)

Gibson and Dean...


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## Don Vito (May 2, 2013)

But Gibson made up for their sins with the Bill Kelyyhelli Explorer.


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## HeHasTheJazzHands (May 2, 2013)

And Dean has the new Chicago and Straight Six (YMMV), so I guess all is good....

Nah, fuck it, that Dean is just so unforgivably bad.


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## Bloody_Inferno (May 2, 2013)

Don Vito said:


> But Gibson made up for their sins with the Bill Kelyyhelli Explorer.


 
And at least Jason Hook's explorer can be fixed by putting a pickguard on it.


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## tommychains (May 3, 2013)

Konfyouzd said:


> Well apparently Dean will build anything for anyone



Just a matter of time before they make a guitar shaped like a pizza slice...


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## Konfyouzd (May 3, 2013)

Is his first name really Zoltan?


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## no_dice (May 3, 2013)

tommychains said:


> Just a matter of time before they make a guitar shaped like a pizza slice...



haha, I kind of want to see that now!


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## The Spanish Inquisition (May 3, 2013)

tommychains said:


> Just a matter of time before they make a guitar shaped like a pizza slice...


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## r3tr0sp3ct1v3 (May 3, 2013)

But....he's still alive?


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## nicktao (May 3, 2013)

Is this true? 


* Personal life*

In his private life Zoltán is an entrepreneur, pilot, and a martial artist, judo and Brazilian jiu-jitsu practitioner often appearing in martial art magazines. He is on the Gracie Humaita Competition Team, affiliated with Professor Don Charley and Professor Amilcar Cipili [3] of the Gracie Jiu-Jitsu lineage and his photo journal indicates that he studies under Royler Gracie and Royce Gracie.[3] According to the band's Facebook page Zoltán won the silver medal at the Abu-Dhabi Pro Jiu-Jitsu World Trials, and The North American Grappling Championship, Placed 3rd at the 2012 Masters World Championship in his division. He is one of the few civilians certified by the Pentagon and The US Army as an L1 Modern Army Combatives Instructor - Close Quarter Combat. Zoltan also practices Wing Chun Kung-Fu under World Renowned Sifu Randy Williams C.R.C. Academy and Guerilla Jiu-Jitsu under professor John Simons III.


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## DISTORT6 (May 3, 2013)

nicktao said:


> Is this true?
> 
> 
> * Personal life*
> ...









He's still a douche.


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## redstone (May 3, 2013)

YJGB said:


>



Words fail me..


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## BIG ND SWEATY (May 3, 2013)

^ its for Andrew W.K what did you expect


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## Don Vito (May 3, 2013)

The ESP pizzatar is infallible, and will destroy your custom b00tique 7's and such..


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## The Spanish Inquisition (May 3, 2013)

Don Vito said:


> The ESP pizzatar is infallible, and will destroy your custom b00tique 7's and such..



Go wash your mouth with soap. And hydrogen peroxide. And a wire brush.


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## no_dice (May 3, 2013)

nicktao said:


> Is this true?
> 
> 
> * Personal life*
> ...



I guess he needs to be well versed in martial arts and weapons handling to defend their music.


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## Don Vito (May 3, 2013)

A lot of people like 5FDP actually. Just not not IMN's and people with taste.


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## Konfyouzd (May 3, 2013)

They sound like fight music or WWE music to me. And their videos suggest they're aware of that.


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## Fat-Elf (May 3, 2013)

YJGB said:


>



Talking about pizza guitars..






^They actually had a competition to win this thing couple of years back. Even had some commercials with some dude playing some sick metal licks on it.


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## Mprinsje (May 3, 2013)

BTW, in some comments on their facebook they say that there will be a non-handle version available.


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## willssharkfins666 (May 4, 2013)

The jembag sig!


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## unclejemima218 (May 6, 2013)

*prepares to get punched* 

I kind of dig it.


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## DarkWolfXV (May 6, 2013)

This shit should be burnt in fire.
No wait, throw it in the volcano, maybe that will do it justice.


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## Doomlord (May 6, 2013)

DarkWolfXV said:


> This shit should be burnt in fire.
> No wait, throw it in the volcano, maybe that will do it justice.



Then launch the ENTIRE VOLCANO into the sun.


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## Jakke (May 6, 2013)

Doomlord said:


> Then launch the ENTIRE VOLCANO into the sun.



Then launch the sun into a larger star... And so forth until we've run out of stars, and then we throw that into the biggest black hole we can find, ending the universe.


*Great fucking job Zoltan..* Now you've ended the universe


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## 7deadlysins666 (May 6, 2013)

willssharkfins666 said:


> The douchebag sig!



Fixed.


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## Basti (May 6, 2013)

And his surname was such an awesome band


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## Loomer (May 6, 2013)

Yeah, fuck this chickenhawk and his horrible taste...


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## ghostred7 (May 6, 2013)

Reminds me of the Akira Takasaki model's hideously deformed little brother...


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## guitarister7321 (May 6, 2013)

redstone said:


> But here are the ugliest guitars Rhinehart Guitars: custom handmade electric art guitars for sale



Want.


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## HeHasTheJazzHands (May 6, 2013)

ghostred7 said:


> Reminds me of the Akira Takasaki model's hideously deformed little brother...



But, the thing about Killer Guitars is that they were designed by Akira Takasaki, therefore, they are awesome.


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## Metal-Box (May 8, 2013)

He went from one of the most gorgeous signature models ever made to the ugliest signature model ever made. The B.C. Rich sig was so nice.

http://www.bcrich.com/images/guitars-and-basses/ASM-Zoltan-2-Maple-AZ2MM.jpg


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