# Conversations with Random People Re: Metal/Music



## BlackMastodon (Oct 17, 2012)

Dunno if this has been in a previous thread or not but I wanna hear some of your funniest/weirdest/craziest stories about talking with strangers about metal or music in general. Hell even just about ERGs, too.

I'll start, of course.

So there is this record store in my city that I frequent because they have a great selection of metal, basically stuff that I would never hope to find in HMV and the prices are great. Plus the guys there are awesome. So it's almost always me and my 2 buddies that go there just for the adventure of spending about 40 minutes picking through the metal section and grabbing what we like. The one day we were there (probably some time last year during the winter), I was wearing my Amon Amarth hoodie and waiting to pay for my CDs when a guy approaches me and starts talking about Amon Amarth since he noticed my sweater. He was probably around my age, give or take a couple years, wearing a spiked dog collar, black nail polish, camo pants, long hair and toque (or winter hat to you Yankees...). This was all well and fine; I'm a friendly guy and can indulge people in some light conversation if they choose to start. But the part that killed me was when, after saying that he "just bought, like, all there albums and they are really sick man," I say something along the lines of "Oh yeah, they are pretty damn awesome, especially their last album [TotTG]" and he says, "Yeah, they are, like, viking metal or something right?" I was pretty dumbfounded by this question as someone who just bought "like, all their albums" should probably know the genre right? Me and my buddies have seen him at the store a couple other times we went there and just kind of avoided him, though the one guy got sucked into a couple conversations with him unfortunately. 

Another story happened to one of my buddies who I mentioned above, who shall be referred to as J. So J was at the mall and decided to stop by at the HMV to grab The Black Dahlia Murder's new album at the time (it was Deflorate). When he went to pay for it at the register, the extremely happy and bubbly emo guy behind the counter says, "Oh I _love_ The Black Delilah Murder." J didn't really know what to say so he just paid for the CD and got the hell out of there. That is why I only go to HMV as a last ditch effort to see if they have anything and only if I am at the mall. 

So what are your stories?


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## Riffer (Oct 17, 2012)

My friend went into Hot Topic to I think pick up the new Behemoth CD at the time and asked the guy at the counter if they had it. The guy, who was wearing a Cannibal Corpse shirt said, "I don't think so. Are they metal?" Seriously?!?!?! You are wearing a Cannibal Corpse shirt and don't know if Behemoth is a metal band or if you even carry their album? Even if you don't listen to metal, if you hear a band name like Behemoth you have to assume it's metal. It's just how it goes.


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## MrPepperoniNipples (Oct 17, 2012)

Riffer said:


> My friend went into Hot Topic to I think pick up the new Behemoth CD at the time and asked the guy at the counter if they had it. The guy, who was wearing a Cannibal Corpse shirt said, "I don't think so. Are they metal?" Seriously?!?!?! You are wearing a Cannibal Corpse shirt and don't know if Behemoth is a metal band or if you even carry their album? Even if you don't listen to metal, if you hear a band name like Behemoth you have to assume it's metal. It's just how it goes.



Hot Topic is always bad, but great for stories.

I had a friend that used to work there. I was waiting for his shift to finish and the douchiest guy I have ever seen came from right across the footlocker right across from the hot topic, whipped out a brand new pair of shoes and asked "you got a shirt that matches these shoes?"

He then proceeded to purchase two t-shirts.

The first of which was All-Time Low

The second of which was Whitechapel 



He then went on to spend 5-10 minutes looking for jeans in the womens section before we told him that those were taylor swift jeans.

All of this is actually happened.


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## The Grief Hole (Oct 17, 2012)

I was wearing a Bathory t-shirt whilst drinking in my favorite metal bar in Yokohama. There are a lot of US Navy guys who go there as one of the bases is close by and this is literally the only metal bar (with craft beer : ) outside of Tokyo.

So this 6ft something guy drunkenly comes up to me and smashes my shoulder and says, 'Bathory! I fucking love Bathory.' So I ask the obvious what was his favourite album etc. We had a decent chat about black metal in general and were getting along pretty well. 
So he asked me what other band would I recommend alongside Bathory. I said Incubus, meaning the Brazilian thrash metal band who only released two demos but were at the time having them rereleased as a comp.
This guy just looks at me, shakes his head and says, 'if I'd known you were into that faggot shit I would't have wasted my time talking to you'. I asked him why they are 'faggot shit' to which he told me 'its chick metal'. Now I was kind of drunk and suddenly clicked that this dick thought, despite me calling them a brazillian thrash band, I was talking about incubus with Brandon Boyd as the singer and purveyors of ever decreasing-in-quality music.
So I just turned round on my seat and talked to someone else. The weird thing was he stood behind me the rest of the night and people kept asking who my friend was.


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## Luke Acacia (Oct 17, 2012)

I was having a chat with a dude after a show I played with him, the guy is somewhat of a local legend and a big angry viking of a man. After chatting for about 20 mins about why Burzum is the best black metal ever (I wasnt going to argue with him), a random metal guy at the show (wearing one of his bands shirts) walked past and put his empty glass on our table as he went to stand in the pit while another band played.
The guy I was with (name and band not disclosed) picked up his glass walked over to the guy and the random metalhead smiled because he was a fan of this guys band and he just glassed him right across the head. Got arrested, random metal guy went to hospital and I was just left in awe.

Was also on a bus once a few years ago after another gig. Bus was packed so most of us were standing and there was another guy in a Marduk shirt who started talking to me about the show. He was a weird sort. Soon after he started yelling out about how the bus needed to be segregated and how blacks dont deserve to sit while he was standing. I did the sly shift away from him straight away and pretended like I didnt know him (which I didnt really).

Many more awesome stories but those 2 come to mind straight away.


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## blaaargh (Oct 17, 2012)

Me and my friend went to see Swans on Sunday, (which was fucking awesome, btw), and while we were standing outside smoking before the opening act, this random dude in a Trans-Siberian Orchestra shirt came up to us and started talking about concerts he had been to. I shit you not, he said this, in this exact tone of voice: "the mowst intense moshing i evew saw was Swipknot at Ozzfewst. it was waining and ewewywone was kicking up mud and it was so cwazy man!" He went on like that for at least 15 minutes uninterrupted, until we finally went inside. 
After the concert, we met a guy from Estonia who was really into stoner/psychedelic doom and talked about upcoming shows for a few minutes. Really cool guy. We were all really drained from the loudness though, so the conversations weren't amazing or anything, but still... how often is it that you meet a dude from Estonia in North Carolina?


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## Gothic Headhunter (Oct 17, 2012)

One day I was at the local YMCA with my friend lifting weights and listening to the pop music they had playing. I didn't really mind, but like 5 minutes in my friend says "I can't listen to this shit anymore. Plug in your iPod so we can listen to some actual music." Normally not something I would do, but I remember on several occasions kids who started blasting deathcore with no repercussions, so I figured the people here obviously don't mind. I put on this 


and at 00:8 he looks at me with the most disgusted look on his face and says "What the fuck is this shit?!" I responded with "... and you call yourself a Rush fan?" However, no one else seemed to mind so we just listened to Rush for about an hour. It was a good day.

EDIT: didn't realize it said strangers, sorry


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## BlackMastodon (Oct 17, 2012)

^No worries, that one counts in my book. 



blaaargh said:


> Me and my friend went to see Swans on Sunday, (which was fucking awesome, btw), and while we were standing outside smoking before the opening act, this random dude in a Trans-Siberian Orchestra shirt came up to us and started talking about concerts he had been to. I shit you not, he said this, in this exact tone of voice: "the mowst intense moshing i evew saw was Swipknot at Ozzfewst. it was waining and ewewywone was kicking up mud and it was so cwazy man!" He went on like that for at least 15 minutes uninterrupted, until we finally went inside.
> After the concert, we met a guy from Estonia who was really into stoner/psychedelic doom and talked about upcoming shows for a few minutes. Really cool guy. We were all really drained from the loudness though, so the conversations weren't amazing or anything, but still... how often is it that you meet a dude from Estonia in North Carolina?



This reminded me. Last year after my buddies birthday during the summer, my girlfriend and I walked to a McDonald's to use the washroom and grab some water, which was about a 15 minute walk from the bar and would add about another half hour to our walk home. But we were drunk so who cares, plus it wasn't downtown so there was next to no one out there. When we got to McDonald's, I was wearing, as always, a band shirt and a guy proceeded to start a conversation with me. All I remember about the conversation was that he talked with that same kind of speech impediment (w's instead of l's and r's) and said he was "a huge wocal music suppowtew." Having gone to grade school my whole life and being friendly with a guy who had a similar speech impediment I am used to it so I could look past it and have a conversation. The guy was a bit weird but whatever.

SO, fast forward a couple weeks. I am at work listening to the podcast of a local morning radio show and they were discussing crazy things that happened while you were drunk or something, and this guy calls in and I instantly recognized his voice. It was the same guy from the McDonald's and he was calling in about he "got a bwowjob on St. Patty's day but she must have went to hawd because aftew I finished she tuwns aside and thwows up gween -." He was cut off by the hosts of the show as they were laughing hysterically and wouldn't let him swear on air but the gist of the story came across. When I heard it I died laughing and texted my girlfriend. It's a small world.


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## ilyti (Oct 18, 2012)

This thread delivers.

From one of my 15-year-old students: "I don't really like screamo. The only screamo band I like is Testament"

Nice effort there.


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## Overtone (Oct 18, 2012)

I spent a few days in Gothenburg and it was cool that the people there seem to know all the bands that originated there. Even if they don't really listen to metal... they've still heard In Flames, ATG, Evergrey etc and consider Mattias Eklundh a local hero


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## Bekanor (Oct 18, 2012)

I don't talk to random people about music, I've had to tell too many people lately that electric guitars aren't made out of plastic.


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## Nile (Oct 18, 2012)

So I walk into McDonalds and this fat kid about like 17 years of age wearing a Ride the Lightning Shirt along with his posse of pretty normal looking people around the same age. My friend was with me and he apparently saw this fat kid gasp and start pointing at me and shit because I was wearing my Pantera shirt and he seemed so overwhelmed to see another metalhead here in country ass Minnesota. I turn around and he's talking in an excited voice saying, "dude, Pantera is awesome, awesome shirt." I gave him a smile and agreed as they were walking out and when they got to the doors his friend pulled his shirt over his head and started doing a Cornholio out the door while the fat excited kid then runs over and humps a random car before walking off.

All of my wut.


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## Scar Symmetry (Oct 18, 2012)

Sounds like the guy's just trying to reach out to like-minded people.

Whenever I see a customer in my shop wearing a Marduk hoodie or anything like that, I'll always chat to them, because I know what's it like to have an olive branch extended to you as an outsider.


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## BlackMastodon (Oct 18, 2012)

Bekanor said:


> I don't talk to random people about music, I've had to tell too many people lately that electric guitars aren't made out of plastic.


wat


Nile said:


> So I walk into McDonalds and this fat kid about like 17 years of age wearing a Ride the Lightning Shirt along with his posse of pretty normal looking people around the same age. My friend was with me and he apparently saw this fat kid gasp and start pointing at me and shit because I was wearing my Pantera shirt and he seemed so overwhelmed to see another metalhead here in country ass Minnesota. I turn around and he's talking in an excited voice saying, "dude, Pantera is awesome, awesome shirt." I gave him a smile and agreed as they were walking out and when they got to the doors his friend pulled his shirt over his head and started doing a Cornholio out the door while the fat excited kid then runs over and humps a random car before walking off.
> 
> All of my wut.


*wat


*


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## JosephAOI (Oct 18, 2012)

Me and my buddy were out hanging at the mall. We went to get some food and this girl who was working one of the restaurants asked me what my shirt meant. This is the shirt I was wearing:







Of course, I'm thinking "What the fuck do I tell her? If I try to explain what djent and thall is, we'll be here all damn day."

My buddy then interjects and says "Well obviously, that says fuck. And then this *points to djent* is... swedish, I believe. I can't remember what it means though. And this *points to thall* is dutch."


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## BlackWinds10 (Oct 18, 2012)

One time, I was at a show, and this super drunk dude starts talking to me like "DUDE! Are you gettin pumped for slayer?!" I'm like "Yea man can't wait!" then he proceeds shout slayer and do this wierd sumo dance around the crowd and manages to get half the stadium pumped for slayer.... They didn't go on for another 30 minutes xD

Another time, I was in class, and 2 mexican girls ask me what music I listen to. I say metal, and they were like "oh so you do this?" they make devil horns and stick their tongues out while making dying sounds and bobbing their heads back in forth. I respond with "yes, that is exactly what I do 0.o" Oddly enough, whenever people who listen to rap/hip hop ask me what I listen to and I say metal, they all do the same exact thing xD

Not a stranger but, my moms boyfriend, is a metal head. But he is kind of stupid on modern metal. He once was telling me how metallica has poly-rhythms and how blue grass created djent 0.o 

Those are only a few I could think of.


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## Bloodbath Salt (Oct 18, 2012)

I went to Summer Slaughter only to see Cannibal Corpse's extremely short set. Most left before they came on stage, only CC fans remained. I convinced 4 younger hipster kids, including their girlfriends (they probably just there for Periphery) to stay for the main event. When CC came on everybody pushed to the front and the pit trapped these kids in there. The look of terror on their face was priceless. They weren't able to escape til after I Cum Blood which I tried to explain was taken out of their setlist for years.


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## Stealthdjentstic (Oct 18, 2012)

I just avoid talking about music with people and usually avoid metalheads that dress like retards.


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## Nile (Oct 19, 2012)

Scar Symmetry said:


> Sounds like the guy's just trying to reach out to like-minded people.
> 
> Whenever I see a customer in my shop wearing a Marduk hoodie or anything like that, I'll always chat to them, because I know what's it like to have an olive branch extended to you as an outsider.



Ya but he was like, hyperventilating and all?


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## BlackMastodon (Oct 19, 2012)

BlackWinds10 said:


> Another time, I was in class, and 2 mexican girls ask me what music I listen to. I say metal, and they were like "oh so you do this?" they make devil horns and stick their tongues out while making dying sounds and bobbing their heads back in forth. I respond with "yes, that is exactly what I do 0.o" Oddly enough, whenever people who listen to rap/hip hop ask me what I listen to and I say metal, they all do the same exact thing xD



This happened to me all the time through high school, that or they would make the cross with their fingers and mimick 'devil sounds'. It basically became my litmus test for which people were not worth talking to.


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## Winspear (Oct 19, 2012)

Stealthdjentstic said:


> I just avoid talking about music with people


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## avenger (Oct 19, 2012)

BlackWinds10 said:


> how blue grass created djent 0.o


how blue grass created djent 0.o
blue grass created djent 0.o
blue grass djent 0.o
0.o
0.o
...

Your moms boyfriend sounds cool as hell. Only intense drug ab/use can conjure such creativity.


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## ASoC (Oct 19, 2012)

Not really a conversation, but a while back I was driving and some random stuff happened.

So it was hot and I naturally had the windows down, and I was listening to Kill 'Em All. I'll admit it was pretty loud but thats how I like my music. So I get to a red light and this lady walks up to the side of my car and starts mouthing random syllables, waving her arms around in a monkeylike manner, and squatting up and down. Naturally, I looked at her with a face that had "dafuq?" written all over it. As soon as that light turned green I hit the gas and took off.


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## nostealbucket (Oct 19, 2012)

I was wearing a BTBAM shirt when I went to moes once. I go to moes a lot. The guy who started making my burrito starts talking about BTBAM, and I'm thinking he's just trying to make conversation.... until he starts talking about Colors.... then he starts talking about Parallax 1. We had a decent conversation about it, and he gave me a shitload of gaucamole. I love guacamole. 


The other time I talked to some random guy about metal was when I was at the mall at fye, checking out some cds.... A guy who worked there came up to my friend and I, since he heard we were bashing avenged sevenfold because the music is extremely boring... he then fucks the conversation, eventually saying the band that started metal was................... The Monkeys. What the actual fuck?
Then he pulls one of the worst conversation starters out: THE BEST GUITARIST IS ____ IF YOU DONT THINK SO, FUCK URSELF. kthxbai!
So, he starts talking about Malmsteen, and Van Halen... 
I talk about Shawn Lane. SHAWN FUCKING LANE. 
He claims he's never heard of him, and he probably sucks because of that.
So... what the actual fuck again?
Alan Holdsworth?
Nothing.
Thordendal? 
Abasi? 
Between the Buried and Me?!
As soon as I say something about BTBAM, he claims he doesn't have time for that screamoshit. What the actual fuck x3

Little did I know, my dad was in the store the entire time. He was picking up some King Crimson and Hendrix stuff, when he suddenly comes over and adds to the conversation. The guy asked my dad if he liked a ton of 80's hair metal, avenged sevenfold, and other overrated bands.
My dad calmly says, "nah, man. I never liked that shit. I never will. I'll see you at the house, Josh". and he walks out of the store.
I love my dad.


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## Overtone (Oct 19, 2012)

Not exactly about metal...
This one lady was on the elevator with me and I had on a Children of Bodom "Hate Me" shirt (laundry day shirt) and she asks me "who is the guy with the hood supposed to be? I don't really watch movies or anything" When I told her it's the grim reaper she said "Oh... well... like I said, I'm not really a movie person."


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## Konfyouzd (Oct 19, 2012)

Bekanor said:


> I don't talk to random people about music, I've had to tell too many people lately that electric guitars aren't made out of plastic.


 
This... Music and politics don't get discussed with random people unless I'm on SSO...


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## Thyber (Oct 19, 2012)

My high school janitor was a Finntroll fan who collected butterflies.

True story.


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## Jake (Oct 19, 2012)

My band played a festival in April and we decided to go get some pizza after our set before going to see TIJ and such and while we were waiting for our pizza some really drunk old guy came over to us asked if we were a band, we said yes, so he sat down and proceeded to tell us how we were the reincarnation of the Eagles and we had to make the next Hotel California for the greater good of music. Also that drugs were the only answer to our musical careers. Many lols were had


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## blaaargh (Oct 19, 2012)

One day in high school, I had brought my boombox to class for an English assignment (put together a soundtrack for the book we were reading). I decided to play some Sepultura at lunch, and while most people nearby gave me strange looks or left, these two hispanic chicks started headbanging and threw me the horns. I talked to them about Sepultura for a while, and actually got one of their numbers. Nothing ever came of that though, unfortunately.


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## MitchellJBurgess (Oct 19, 2012)

I was snooping around ss.org and found this thread, so I logged in just to tell this story, SO FUCKING LISTEN TO ME. 

=P

Anyway, so I was doing work experience at a local guitar shop about 13 weeks ago or something like that, but every now and then you could smell this disgusting rotten sweet smell, which we always found came from this drunken homeless guy that liked to come in and try to get the Les Paul Customs down from the top row of guitars and play them (I'm not a great fan of lp or Gibson in general but they are very expensive nonetheless.)

So anyway, I was packing the string shelves one day and the drunken homeless man who we'll call Franky came over to me and started asking me if I've ever heard of Guns And Roses, and politely I said, 'Yeah man, they're alright.' kind of just trying to get out of speaking to him.
And he told me all this stuff about how he used to be like, Slash's teacher or something, and used to sing with Axl.
I'm not a massive fan of Guns 'n' roses, but like, still, I know how unlikely that all is.

So eventually Franky left and all was well and good.
But on the last day I was there he came again, I was helping with stock take (Which was a pain in the ass on it's own) and I could smell something, something familiar, something horrifyingly familiar!
I then seen him, Franky, again trying to get down the Lps, I walked over to him and said 'Hey man, do you need a hand with anything?' He said something like 'Nah it's all good' as he stopped reaching for the LP.
I said 'Alright, well if you need any help with anything I'll be over at the books.'

So I returned to the books to do stocktake, he followed closely behind me unfortunately.

So he just kind of watched me writting on the bit of paper, counting the books and prices etc.
And a painfull conversation begun.
'Hey man, how're you going?' he said
'Not too bad, what's going on?'
Then he said 'I have this Fender Strat at home, it's pretty nice! It's red!'
And I didn't really know what to say, so I just said 'Oh yeah, that's cool, the red ones go good!'
I didn't know what to say, so I decided to compliment the color considering I knew nothing more of the guitar.
Then he continued to go on about his history with Slash and Axl saying they wouldn't be where they are now if it wasn't for him.
Then he kinda just said 'anyway, I'm going to go home now'.
And he walked back to the lps, looked at them for a few seconds and walked out of the shops.

Some people are a little odd!


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## Nile (Oct 20, 2012)

^People that have some illusion of grandeur or obviously fake ass story like him getting GNR up to the top are the most painful conversations ever.


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## Bevo (Oct 20, 2012)

My pretty 90 pound girlfriend wearing a light summer dress with her nails just done in pink stopped by HMV to pick up the Gorogoth CD I ordered.

The guy was a fan and talked to her for 10 min then said, this in not for you right?


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## vampiregenocide (Oct 20, 2012)

JosephAOI said:


>



Please tell me where you got this, I need it.


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## iamthefonz (Oct 20, 2012)

Talking to people about music is like talking to people about politics.

You're gonna have a bad time.


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## CyborgSlunk (Oct 21, 2012)

I don´t know how it came to this, but one guy from my table tennis club said "I hate Metal. It has no rhythm". I asked him if he even knew what rhythm is, and he said "Yes I know. But Metal has no rhythm, it´s just screaming."


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## Nile (Oct 21, 2012)

CyborgSlunk said:


> I don´t know how it came to this, but one guy from my table tennis club said "I hate Metal. It has no rhythm". I asked him if he even knew what rhythm is, and he said "Yes I know. But Metal has no rhythm, it´s just screaming."



All of the face palms. I do them.


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## Winspear (Oct 21, 2012)

Bevo said:


> My pretty 90 pound girlfriend wearing a light summer dress with her nails just done in pink stopped by HMV to pick up the Gorogoth CD I ordered.
> 
> The guy was a fan and talked to her for 10 min then said, this in not for you right?



Haha, my girlfriend gets people say stuff like that for similar reasons but the funny thing is it is for her  She is always being told she doesn't look like a metal fan.


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## marked (Oct 21, 2012)

Not really the same thing, but after 6 years of finally getting mum used to the whole metal thing, and she finally understands (at least i thought)

This guy was in her shop and she was selling something to him, he was wearing a Diablo 3 shirt (at first glance looks like a death metal band shirt or something)
and my mum thinking she knows what's up after all these years of dealing with me goes: "Oh sick shirt! what band is that from?" the guy awkwardly replied "Oh.. it's um... *points to where is says Diablo 3* it's uh... it's a... video game shirt..."

Nerd awkward embarrassment exposed.

So close mum, so close.


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## foxyfluff (Oct 21, 2012)

My story is that one time when i was doing work with a group to help the poor. That i saw someone who worked at the group who claimed to listen to metal. And the person told me to listen to blues and once said that he knows that i listen to music. I think the person was a poser for saying that.


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## blaaargh (Oct 21, 2012)

foxyfluff said:


> My story is that one time when i was doing work with a group to help the poor. That i saw someone who worked at the group who claimed to listen to metal. And the person told me to listen to blues and once said that he knows that i listen to music. I think the person was a poser for saying that.



Yes, because if you listen to anything other than the most trve and hatefvl war metal you're obviously not a real fan. Not like metal evolved from the blues or anything...


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## Brill (Oct 21, 2012)

The first time i made a metal head friend ws really weird... And only a month ago... 
Hes like "i like djent but hate meshuggah" and im like wut? He then goes to say that " metalcore is shit, but deathcore is awesome" giving no reasoning what so ever... He thrn says that periphery is shit and the only djent he likes is a genre called 'djentcore'

Suprise to no one. He smokes tea from a bong...


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## wrongnote85 (Oct 21, 2012)

in a conversation with a random metal dude at a bar once i asked him if he was into any black metal. he responded with "Living Color".

i thought that was funny on several different levels.


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## foxyfluff (Oct 21, 2012)

blaaargh said:


> Yes, because if you listen to anything other than the most trve and hatefvl war metal you're obviously not a real fan. Not like metal evolved from the blues or anything...



The person also saw me wearing a Nightwish shirt once and asked me if it was a movie.


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## ittoa666 (Oct 21, 2012)

vampiregenocide said:


> Please tell me where you got this, I need it.



Periphery was selling them at Summer Slaughter.


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## Don Vito (Oct 21, 2012)

One time I was wearing my Metallica shirt at Dollar General. A guy came over to me and said "cool shirt!". 
I said thank you, and exited the store with my goods.


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## MrPepperoniNipples (Oct 21, 2012)

Alright time for another

Went out on campus today. Got stopped twice because some people tried to read my Spawn of Possession shirt.

Makes for a total around 10 times.
I've only worn the shirt 3 times.


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## devolutionary (Oct 21, 2012)

No matter how many times I tell her, my Mum still thinks I listen to Norwegian death metal. I've tried to explain, oh how I've tried, but it's a losing battle of epic proportions.


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## Gothic Headhunter (Oct 21, 2012)

MrPepperoniNipples said:


> Alright time for another
> 
> Went out on campus today. Got stopped twice because some people tried to read my Spawn of Possession shirt.
> 
> ...



If no one can read it, then it must be a good death metal logo


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## mr_rainmaker (Oct 22, 2012)

really need to restart thread:

Funny thinks Heard at music store...


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## BlackMastodon (Oct 22, 2012)

^I'll accept these.


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## Thyber (Oct 22, 2012)

on a related note , people who say "I listen to everything" can expect a counter question on my side : "Do you listen to Norwegian Progressive Black Metal?"


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## HyperKinetic (Oct 22, 2012)

CyborgSlunk said:


> I don´t know how it came to this, but one guy from my table tennis club said "I hate Metal. It has no rhythm". I asked him if he even knew what rhythm is, and he said "Yes I know. But Metal has no rhythm, it´s just screaming."



You want ketchup? - YouTube


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## Rick (Oct 23, 2012)

People find it hard to believe that I'm a metalhead. Usually people's musical tastes get lighter as they get older. Me? Mine get heavier.


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## BlackMastodon (Oct 23, 2012)

Rick said:


> People find it hard to believe that I'm a metalhead. Usually people's musical tastes get lighter as they get older. Me? Mine get heavier.


Mine kind of diverged. When I was 13 I loved Korn, Disturbed, Lamb of God, and Cradle of Filth but as I got older I started liking classic rock and death metal at the same time. Gives me a nice bit of variety.


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## JazzandMetal (Oct 23, 2012)

BlackMastodon said:


> Mine kind of diverged. When I was 13 I loved Korn, Disturbed, Lamb of God, and Cradle of Filth but as I got older I started liking classic rock and death metal at the same time. Gives me a nice bit of variety.



Same happened with me. Linkin Park and Disturbed When I was 13, now I like Opeth, Arch Enemy, Meshuggah as well as Steely Dan, Stevie Ray Vaughan, Jazz and Classical.

Talking to this fantastic jazz pianist I know, he said that the metal tone is so massive and huge, but the whole deal lacked subtlety. I told him about Animals As Leaders and 8 string guitars, and he told about a bassist that he played with who had a six string bass and could use it.


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## subject aftermath (Oct 23, 2012)

Its so random with it being Rock week on BBC Radio 1 here in the UK, Parkway drive being played 7pm on mainstream radio...


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## bhakan (Oct 23, 2012)

Thyber said:


> on a related note , people who say "I listen to everything" can expect a counter question on my side : "Do you listen to Norwegian Progressive Black Metal?"


I do the same thing .


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## blaaargh (Oct 23, 2012)

Thyber said:


> "Do you listen to Norwegian Progressive Black Metal?"





Thyber said:


> Norwegian Progressive Black Metal





Thyber said:


> Progressive Black Metal



Does not compute


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## Bekanor (Oct 23, 2012)

blaaargh said:


> Does not compute



Check out Enslaved, then all variables will be declared instantiated and initialised.


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## kamello (Oct 23, 2012)

so much lulz  




anyways

One day I was eating at McDonald's with a friend and we were talking about albums we had been listening through the week, then we started talking about the first songs we learnt on guitar and of course Metallica came in in the conversation , and the usual ''old school-Metallica R0oo00lz  '' 

suddenly a guy who was sitting behind us came over our table and started to almost scream ''FUCK YESSS!!!, IM SO FUCKING TIRED TO LISTEN TO KIDS OF YOUR AGE TALKING SHIT ABOUT METALLICA, OR BEING ADDICTED FANS WHO SAID THAT ST. ANGER WAS ACTUALLY GOOD'' and we started having a nice conversation about bands, I was a bit nervous though because this dude was obviusly high, and my friend kept arguing with him a lot (my friend insisted that the Sex Pistols were great, and this dude insisted that they were fucking retarded, I insisted that both of them were actually right  ) , suddenly he started with another sensitive topic, Politics!!, fuck yes! , then this guy told us that he was Nazi and had to go to pick up a friend of his to prison because he killed a homeless a few months ago, Poor people were poor because they wanted to, and we have all the tools in our system to be millonaire selling shit (literally shit, like the one you drop on the toilet) all this while he was trembling and moving abruptly



thanks God my mom called me and told me that she needed my help at home.....











































my friend insist that the guy wasn't high


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## JosephAOI (Oct 23, 2012)

Thyber said:


> on a related note , people who say *"I listen to everything"* can expect a counter question on my side : "Do you listen to Norwegian Progressive Black Metal?"



I fucking HATE IT when people say this


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## Bigfan (Oct 24, 2012)

blaaargh said:


> Does not compute



I prefer australian progressive black metal myself.

We norwegians do prog pretty well, though


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## Brill (Oct 24, 2012)

Bigfan said:


> I prefer australian progressive black metal myself.
> 
> We norwegians do prog pretty well, though



Australian progressive black metal? Like Be'lakor... They may be blackend death prog...

Oh wait, is this spose to be a joke?


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## Fiction (Oct 24, 2012)

I think the closest thing we have to progressive is when we skip a beat from snake attacks.


1-and-2-and-3-and-snake-1-and...


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## Bigfan (Oct 24, 2012)

Loxodrome said:


> Australian progressive black metal? Like Be'lakor... They may be blackend death prog...
> 
> Oh wait, is this spose to be a joke?


 
Ne Obliviscaris, bro.


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## BlackMastodon (Oct 24, 2012)

Loxodrome said:


> Australian progressive black metal? Like Be'lakor... They may be blackend death prog...
> 
> Oh wait, is this spose to be a joke?


I consider Be'Lakor to be melodic death metal. I don't know too many Aus metal bands but I guess Ne Obliviscaris could be considered progressive black metal thought I just make things easier for myself and leave my prog as prog instead of adding other sub genres to it.


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## BlackWinds10 (Oct 24, 2012)

Ovid's Withering I would consider Prog Black Metal.


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## Nile (Oct 24, 2012)

More stories, less prog discussion.


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## JosephAOI (Oct 27, 2012)

I was at Guitar Center once and was jamming some Born Of Osiris and Dream Theater. This mega scene-looking kid sits down across from me with an Epi Les Paul, turns his amp up at least 3 times louder than me (loud enough that the whole store can hear) and literally starts SMACKING the strings. I try to ignore him but as he's "playing", he keeps looking up at me, as if he's trying to show off or get my attention or something. Then, while I was playing a DT riff I think it was, he says to me, "Woah dude, was that Attack, Attack?" 

Not 100% on topic, but it's what I had off the top of my head.


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## Furtive Glance (Oct 27, 2012)

^eugh. *shudders

I had a Petrucci shirt on when I was in HMV back in 2007. Some kids were like, "Sick shirt dude. JP rules!" That was pretty cool. Told them to get tickets to the show that Saturday. Dunno if they did.


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## Nile (Oct 28, 2012)

JosephAOI said:


> I was at Guitar Center once and was jamming some Born Of Osiris and Dream Theater. This mega scene-looking kid sits down across from me with an Epi Les Paul, turns his amp up at least 3 times louder than me (loud enough that the whole store can hear) and literally starts SMACKING the strings. I try to ignore him but as he's "playing", he keeps looking up at me, as if he's trying to show off or get my attention or something. Then, while I was playing a DT riff I think it was, he says to me, "Woah dude, was that Attack, Attack?"
> 
> Not 100% on topic, but it's what I had off the top of my head.



He didn't make it out of the store, right?


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## JosephAOI (Oct 28, 2012)

^Oh, he did...


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## BlackMastodon (Oct 28, 2012)

JosephAOI said:


> ^Oh, he did...


YTMND - Get Him A Body Bag! Yeeeaaaah!


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## jeleopard (Nov 1, 2012)

For German class, we had to say (in German, duh ) what form of art we liked and why. I said I liked metal music because it's very diverse and could be played many different ways with different sounds. Everyone was like "wut. Really?"


Sure everyone has had this. Tell kid you like heavy music "Oh you mean like (current scene band like Asking Alexandria)" ._.


And I was playing guitar while on webcam with my girlfriend last night and her mom came over and she was like "Play xxx! Play yyy! Play zzz!" I was like "But I suck and don't know how to play them " She left mumbling something along the lines of "Stupid kid."

Pretty sure she was drunk. She loves me though XD


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## kamello (Nov 1, 2012)

JosephAOI said:


> I was at Guitar Center once and was jamming some Born Of Osiris and Dream Theater. This mega scene-looking kid sits down across from me with an Epi Les Paul, turns his amp up at least 3 times louder than me (loud enough that the whole store can hear) and literally starts SMACKING the strings. I try to ignore him but as he's "playing", he keeps looking up at me, as if he's trying to show off or get my attention or something. Then, while I was playing a DT riff I think it was, he says to me, "Woah dude, was that Attack, Attack?"
> 
> Not 100% on topic, but it's what I had off the top of my head.







Fuck Him.






















































with a Knife.

























































Twice.


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## Don Vito (Nov 1, 2012)

jeleopard said:


> And I was playing guitar while on webcam with my girlfriend last night and her mom came over and she was like "Play xxx! Play yyy! Play zzz!" I was like "But I suck and don't know how to play them " She left mumbling something along the lines of "Stupid kid."
> 
> Pretty sure she was drunk. She loves me though XD


This is why I play bass.


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## Cabinet (Nov 1, 2012)

them: yeah i just don't like metal

me: yeah whatever i don't care, listen to what you like. no point in arguing about where you get your entertainment from right?

them: yeah people like that are dicks

me: totes mcgotes.


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## jeleopard (Nov 2, 2012)

kennedyblake said:


> This is why I play bass.



I actually consider myself a sax player who likes to think I can play bass and guitar.

But yea, I'm a much better bass player XD


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## will_shred (Nov 2, 2012)

This fat kid (about 17 or 18) comes into the store I work at (smelling like boiled peanuts  ) and promptly asks me to take down the nicest LP in the store (a 79' 25th anniversary, I bet you know where this is going) and proceeds to poorly play the intro's to Sweet child O' mine, Dust in the wind, smells like teen spirit and tries to play crazy train but trips over his fingers...


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## M3CHK1LLA (Nov 2, 2012)

funniest thing i can think of is when me and a co-worker brought our guitars to work so we could play during our lunch hour. another co-worker who is a total backwoods, hillbilly, redneck type came in and watched.

after a few minutes of listening he asked us, "how come there aint any holes in your guitars?"


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## BlackMastodon (Nov 3, 2012)

will_shred said:


> This fat kid (about 17 or 18) comes into the store I work at (smelling like boiled peanuts  ) and promptly asks me to take down the nicest LP in the store (a 79' 25th anniversary, I bet you know where this is going) and proceeds to poorly play the intro's to Sweet child O' mine, Dust in the wind, smells like teen spirit and tries to play crazy train but trips over his fingers...


I'm intrigued by this boiled peanuts smell you speak of.


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## Don Vito (Nov 3, 2012)

A lot of fat people smell like food usually. Yeah I'm racist.

Deal with it.


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## Furtive Glance (Nov 3, 2012)

Lol, this thread. "It's funny cause he's fat". I don't know how people work in retail and handle situations like that, honestly.


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## tacotiklah (Nov 4, 2012)

So many stories...


Okay, my first one involves when I went to Carl's Jr for some lunch after school back when I was still in high school. I used to ALWAYS carry my guitar with me everywhere I went. Some random guy came up and started telling me how he used to be in the original Van Halen as a bassist before he got replace with Michael Anthony. I tried debunking this several times and he got progressively angrier each time I flat out proved him wrong. Eventually he left screaming about how fucking posers like me are what keep good musicians like him out of the business. No buddy, being drunk, high, homeless, and a dick to people is what keeps you out of the music business. 

For reasons I'll never know, I had an old high school friend that would take me along and we'd hang out with some of the homeless people and give 'em food and stuff. Well I'd also bring along an acoustic of mine and they'd buy us booze and we'd all get drunk and I'd jam out on my guitar and we'd have 12 bar blues madness and shenanigans. Nothing funnier than a smashed hobo trying to string together something that sounds coherently like lyrics. Good times though. 

I once was auditioning a this kid for a death metal band. I told him over the phone that the influences were bands like slayer, cannibal corpse, obituary, etc. He said he liked those bands, and he was pretty good at lead guitar. He shows up, has no clue how to play death metal at all, and didn't even know wtf a pentatonic scale was. I asked him, "Dude, do you even like death metal?" Without missing a beat he replies with, "Of course I do man, I love Slipknot."
I promptly asked him to leave. 

I also hated having to take the public bus. I get bored quickly, so I'd take an acoustic along with me so my fingers have something to do. While playing, I'd have people come up to me and ask, "Hey, do you play guitar?"


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## JosephAOI (Nov 4, 2012)

^In response to that third story:







Also, 





I've posted both of these before in the meme thread but they're worth reposting.


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## will_shred (Nov 4, 2012)

BlackMastodon said:


> I'm intrigued by this boiled peanuts smell you speak of.



I don't know man, he just smelled like boiled peanuts. then the guitar did to.


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## BlackMastodon (Nov 4, 2012)

will_shred said:


> I don't know man, he just smelled like boiled peanuts. then the guitar did to.


*goes and boils some peanuts*


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## CyborgSlunk (Nov 5, 2012)

kennedyblake said:


> A lot of fat people smell like food usually. Yeah I'm racist.
> 
> Deal with it.



Dude, you know fat people are not a race?


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## BIG ND SWEATY (Nov 5, 2012)

^ id say there's enough of us to be considered a race


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## Don Vito (Nov 5, 2012)

CyborgSlunk said:


> Dude, you know fat people are not a race?


Murrica'


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