# Shark versus Crocodile! There can be only One!



## Explorer (Aug 10, 2014)

Two Primordial CREATURES from the Dawn of Time, Untouched by Evolution for Millions of Years!

Each Feared and Formidable, an Ancient ARTIFACT of DEATH! 

Each Equipped with a Primitive Brain and Merciless Teeth, Untouched by All Emotion save BLOODLUST and ANGER! 

But... a Rival! Another Who Seeks to Dominate the Position of APEX PREDATOR, Worshipped in FEAR by Lesser Creatures!!!

Eager to Prove Which is More TERRIFYING, They Engage in BATTLE! 

*SHARK VERSUS CROCODILE! *

WHO Shall Emerge... VICTORIOUS?!!!







SHARK Attempts to Herd CROCODILE into Deeper Water, but Miscalculates! 

For CROCODILE Strides Between Two Worlds, Shunned, an OUTCAST, Belonging to Neither... But MASTER of BOTH!

CROCODILE Siezes SHARK and Drives HIM unto the Earthen Bank. THEIR DULL EYES FLASH! CROCODILE Uses HIS kNOWLEDGE of Terrestrial Gravity to HIS Advantage, Pinning SHARK While Working Furiously to Crush SHARK's SKULL Within HIS JAWS!






But This is a Babble of Iches. CROCODILE's Path is Long and Hard, because SHARK's SKELETON is Made of Flexible Cartilage, All but HIS TEETH!!!

However, OutSIDE of the Warm Embrace of the Healing Waters, SHARK's STRENGTH Ebbs in the Earth's Atmosphere, and HE Begins to Weaken...!

Before HE Expires, SHARK Curses CROCOCILE. 

CROCODILE'S KIND Will Never Be Free of the Lust for Vengeance of SHARK's Relatives! This Oath Will Be Sealed with SHARK's OWN BLOOD!

CRODOCILE's Teeth Continue Their TASK of ANNIHILATION!

A Final Shudder... the Coppery but Sweet Taste of BRAIN on CROCODILE's tongue... and SHARK Expires!

CROCODILE Bellows! 

HE and HIS KIND Will Meet the Challenge! Let THEM Bring What Power THEY Have to Bear! THEY Shall Never Break CROCODILE!

CROCODILE! 

MASTER OF TWO WORLDS!!! 

*FEAR HIM!!!*


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## Black43 (Aug 10, 2014)

Hahaha that description


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## mr_rainmaker (Aug 10, 2014)

I sence a B-movie in production soon....


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## Gothic Headhunter (Aug 10, 2014)

Has anyone started using this for song lyrics yet?


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## tmo (Aug 10, 2014)

Where did you get those pontos?

Nice story btw...


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## asher (Aug 10, 2014)

Totally rigged, those are obviously two different weight classes.


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## MikeH (Aug 10, 2014)

But what happens when we introduce..

*GATORSHARK?!*


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## Grindspine (Aug 10, 2014)

MikeH said:


> But what happens when we introduce..
> 
> *GATORSHARK?!*


 
Sharkodile [/fixed]


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## MoshJosh (Aug 10, 2014)

asher said:


> Totally rigged, those are obviously two different weight classes.



plus Crocodile had home field advantage, I'd like to see the croc pull that on a great white or tiger shark in open water!


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## Xaios (Aug 10, 2014)

How long did it take to write that?


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## Explorer (Aug 10, 2014)

I originally saw the pictures, and was going to just post them... but I remembered reading about the sequel to "Sharknado," and the contest to name it.

(The winner? "Sharknado 2: The Second One." *laugh*)

So I was just going to name the topic "Shark Versus Crocodile!," and then the "only one!" idea hit, and then it just flowed out.

What I find really terrifying is that those pictures are from Australia. What kind of f-ing country do you guys live in where your waters have sharks *and* crocodiles close enough for them to be preying on each other? I though it was horrible to step on little octopi when they'd be on the walk at night when running out barefoot to take out the trash, but that wasn't life threatening. 

I have new respect for Australians, and the terrible, terrible place they live. 

Australia. Honey Badger Knows to Keep Away.


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## MikeH (Aug 11, 2014)

Grindspine said:


> Sharkodile [/fixed]



It's Gatorshark, god dammit.


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## Explorer (Aug 11, 2014)

Holy heck, did you just toss that together?

+1 to your rep, good sir!

Oh, crap. though!

If Australia is the kind of horrible, terrible place where sharks and crocodiles are close enough to not just prey on each other, but to actually mate outside of their own species...and there are nubile cheerleaders, but with the added stench of carrion about them... it's gonna be the dawn of a bright new age of horribleness in Australia when they are up to their gooches in... Undead Humanoids from the Deep!






I think I have to watch Cloverfield to take away the horrible visions of Australia I have running through my head now....


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## chassless (Aug 11, 2014)

you just made my day guys


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## Fred the Shred (Aug 11, 2014)

That's what you get for trusting others' praise and becoming self-indulgent. Hah!


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## MikeH (Aug 11, 2014)

Holy shit. That was awesome!



Explorer said:


> Holy heck, did you just toss that together?
> 
> +1 to your rep, good sir!



Unfortunately, not my work. It was actually supposed to be a movie, but I don't think it ever made it out of pre-production.


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## Forrest_H (Aug 11, 2014)

MikeH said:


> It's Gatorshark, god dammit.



Goddammit mike


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## Nats (Aug 11, 2014)

Sharks always have that "Oh shit!" look on their face. This time it really applies.


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## Sofos (Aug 11, 2014)

mr_rainmaker said:


> I sence a B-movie in production soon....





been out for a few years. absolutely terrible.


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## OmegaSlayer (Aug 12, 2014)

MikeH said:


> It's Gatorshark, god dammit.



This fits so much the boner Explorer clearly had while typing the OP


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## Nats (Aug 12, 2014)

metalgary said:


> no contest.. get an equal size shark and shark will win



I dunno ¯\(°_o)/¯, If the croc can execute his game plan and lure it to shallow waters, he'll win, probably even regardless of shark size.


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## MikeH (Aug 12, 2014)

I feel like a bull shark can still do some substantial damage in shallow water. They're known for living at the mouths of rivers in shallow brackish waters. Plus, those sons of bitches eat literally anything.


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## OmegaSlayer (Aug 12, 2014)

NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC said:


> Bull sharks can still do some substantial damage in shallow water. They're known for living at the mouths of rivers in shallow brackish waters. Plus, those sons of bitches eat literally anything.



Even things humans can't manage to understand


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## Xaios (Aug 12, 2014)

Looks like the shark in the OP was...


...out of his depth.

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(&#8976;&#9633;_&#9633


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## Explorer (Oct 8, 2014)

As if I need more proof of Australia being a horrible, terrifying country to live in...



This kind of stuff happens in the streets?


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## Vrollin (Oct 8, 2014)

Crocodile met his match!



Snake vs crocodile: A dramatic showdown - ABC North West Qld - Australian Broadcasting Corporation


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## AliceLG (Oct 8, 2014)

I read the whole thing as Tom Araya singing Angel of Death and God Hates Us All for some part. I recommend doing so


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## Grand Moff Tim (Oct 8, 2014)

What now, crocodile?


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## MikeH (Oct 8, 2014)

WHAT SAY YE NOW, CROC?!


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## Xaios (Oct 8, 2014)

Explorer said:


> As if I need more proof of Australia being a horrible, terrifying country to live in...
> 
> 
> 
> This kind of stuff happens in the streets?




Step 1) Play video.
Step 2) Mute sound.
Step 3) Play the "Amok Time" fight music from Star Trek.
Step 4) Enjoy.


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## BlackMastodon (Oct 8, 2014)

This f**king thread is gold.


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## MFB (Oct 8, 2014)

The Great Beef at the Reef!


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## MikeH (Oct 8, 2014)

IT'S A WAR OFF THE SHORE!


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