# Things you eat that will probably kill you?



## PyramidSmasher (Oct 20, 2010)

Hey guys. I started eating Wendy's Baconators lately... I will never look back. I will die with one in hand.

What do you guys eat that you shouldnt?

Im taking all recommendations.


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## Jason (Oct 20, 2010)

This is Why You're Fat: The Bacon Cheeseburger Turtle | Afrojacks


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## matt397 (Oct 20, 2010)

Jason said:


> This is Why You're Fat: The Bacon Cheeseburger Turtle | Afrojacks


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## All_¥our_Bass (Oct 20, 2010)

I had this glorious idea to make a bacon cheese burger by making a beef patty with pieces of bacon, cheese, jalapenos, onions and garlic mixed in with the ground beef.


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## Meinrad (Oct 20, 2010)

Probably anything I cooked could kill in some way or other... I try to make healthy food, but things in the kitchen have a tendency to spontaneously combust around me!


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## Thep (Oct 20, 2010)

All_¥our_Bass;2184378 said:


> I had this glorious idea to make a bacon cheese burger by making a beef patty with pieces of bacon, cheese, jalapenos, onions and garlic mixed in with the ground beef.



That is a wonderful idea!  I'd skip the cheese though.


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## matty2fatty (Oct 20, 2010)

I've never eaten this, but I firmly believe someone should.

I present......The Turtle Burger!


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## Fionn (Oct 21, 2010)

iWishihadthis.com » Blair&#8217;s 16 Million Reserve Crystals


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## LUCKY7 (Oct 21, 2010)

The fact that I find a McDonald's French fry under my car seat after months, and it still looks fresh when it should be rotten, worries me.

Those Oreo cookies must be one step away from being plastic.


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## Customisbetter (Oct 21, 2010)

I eat a personal pizza (or if its a late night, two) every goddamn day. I might be dying quicker, but I'm enjoying life more.


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## PyramidSmasher (Oct 21, 2010)

Im eating a baconator right now. Addiction.


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## All_¥our_Bass (Oct 22, 2010)

http://www.sevenstring.org/forum/off-topic/134518-worst-pizza-ever.html#post2185441


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## Despised_0515 (Oct 22, 2010)

I tire of any one food too easily... except for bagels. I pack those mofos with cream cheese and have one almost every other morning. I try not too but it's just. too. good.


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## Explorer (Oct 22, 2010)

I currently work with nutrition and natural and organic foods. What could be more logical to make for our next shared Thanksgiving meal/celebration at work than... Porkapotamus?!!!












Well, to be honest, since we have a lot of people in my office, I suspect that I need to emulate their attempt at... The Return of Porkapotamus!!!











(Incidentally, the fact that this guy's wife, Susie, is a cutie makes her desireable. The fact that she looked at this project and said, Game on!, makes me want to take her for my own...)

Unfortunately, the Return of Porkapotamus ended in misery, due to all the fat draining off of it...

"With this completed, it was smooth sailing...at least until Susie notified us that the grill was on fire.

"Now, we all love our grills and know they wouldn't be working if they weren't 'on fire,' so as usual, I assumed Susie's preternatural preoccupation with peril ('Did you remember to turn off the toaster?') was turning a hot spot into an inferno. We had planned for the inevitable result of flame-broiling 12 lbs of bacon, and had installed serious grease traps between the burners and the grate. These proved to be less than useful.

"When we stepped outside, we were greeted by 7-foot flames shooting out the back of my Vermont Castings. Opening the lid was a very bad idea. I singed the hair off my face, arms and chest as a fireball launched out and up, torching high-up tree limbs. Five men risked their limbs to rescue the two blackened trunks of crusted meat from still-roiling flames and a few minutes later had succeeded. With the burnt bacon layer removed, we transferred the defeated Porkapotmus to the oven and slow cooked for the remaining 2 hours. Ironically enough, it was the 10-lb bacon matrix which both caused the fire and prevented destruction of the meal."





(photo taken 10 minutes after fire was quelled)

Sure, I feel bad about wanting to bang this guy's wife, but the thing I should really feel bad about it that nothing strikes me as funnier (besides when I wound up bringing 3 buckets of Kentucky Fried Chicken to this banquet of lovingly hand-prepared food) than to feed one's natural-foods-eating, health-conscious and healthy coworkers (to say nothing of the vegetarians and vegans among them) the artery-clogging meat madness of... Porkapotamus!

Porkapotamus: 
The Completely Unnecessary Improvement on the Bacon Explosion

The Return of Porkapotamus: The Sad, True Story of a 28-lb "Improvement" on the Bacon Explosion

I wonder if this will get the same reception as when, inspired by a traditional treat brought by a coworker, I made cookies with beef jerky and bacon instead of dried fruits and nuts. (For the record, people loved them until I told them what the crunchy stuff was.)

We have a lot of great cooks where I work. I wonder who would be up for figuring out a better weave, and a better cooking method for something the size of a Thanksgiving turkey?


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## josh pelican (Oct 22, 2010)

Pussy. It's good, but that shit will kill ya'.


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## cwhitey2 (Oct 22, 2010)

Jason said:


> This is Why You're Fat: The Bacon Cheeseburger Turtle | Afrojacks




i want one so bad


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## bostjan (Oct 22, 2010)

Did the guy from Supersize Me do an experiment with McD's french fries in a jar left out for months, and IIRC, nothing ever happened to them despite the control jar with another restaurant's fries rotting and turning black?


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## scherzo1928 (Oct 22, 2010)

There is an amazingly good taco stand I can never say no to. It worries me though, that I've never seen a single dog in a 2 mile radius. Still, those are some good tacos.


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## All_¥our_Bass (Oct 23, 2010)

Explorer said:


> *FUCKING EPIC POST!!!!*


I raise you a turducken!!!! 

THE ROAD TO TURDUCKEN, PART 1.

THE ROAD TO TURDUCKEN, PART 2.


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## leandroab (Oct 23, 2010)

All_¥our_Bass;2188002 said:


> I raise you a turducken!!!!
> 
> THE ROAD TO TURDUCKEN, PART 1.
> 
> THE ROAD TO TURDUCKEN, PART 2.



You can't spell turducken without turd.


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## Xaios (Oct 23, 2010)

I renounce my God, and shall now worship at the altar of the Porkapotamus.


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## Explorer (Oct 24, 2010)

Several of my friends (and yes, a few coworkers in those hallowed halls of good nutrition) have now raised the stakes. They've countered with the turducken, and one offered to bring a huge propane-burning deep fat fryer to set up in the parking lot to deep-fry a turkey. I think I have to put the brakes on that one, because I don't even want to get into a discussion with the landlord regarding insurance riders and such if things go wrong. (Gee, a huge burner with bubbling oil just waiting to overflow above... and a propane tank just waiting to add to the fun. Can you find what's wrong with this picture? *laugh*) 

Porkapotamus does seem to be the clear winner in terms of bad health, though. We've been discussing a few methods for getting more fat to render to begin with, and using a string lattice similar to what you find on some kinds of prepared meats to hold the whole thing together during the cooking. If we undertake this, we might have to have our R&M guys come up with some kind of convection cooker using some sort of steel drum, with the heat coming from somewhere besides a direct flame anywhere near the fat run-off. Having a water system for run-off may help with fire prevention, and doing it as a forced air smoker will keep the flame element a bit further away. 

My boss is sure to shoot this down if he finds out. 

*laugh*


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## All_¥our_Bass (Oct 24, 2010)

Deep fried turkey is fucking amazing!! The hot oil clogs the pores of the skin so it keepos all the juice inside. It's really delicious, and you don't need any gravy-unless you just like gravy, of course.

Bacon Log
Bacon Explosion: The BBQ Sausage Recipe of all Recipes
EDIT: I just realized Porkapotamus is an "improvement" of the bacon log.


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## TomParenteau (Oct 24, 2010)

The McRib is back. Delightfully disgusting!


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## All_¥our_Bass (Oct 24, 2010)

TomPerverteau said:


> The McRib is back. Delightfully disgusting!


I wish they would go back to having McRibs all the time, everybody I knew loved them, heck I'd probably order more McRibs than burgers if they were available every day of the year.


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## JohnDillingerJr (Oct 24, 2010)

HNNNNNGGGG


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## Krankguitarist (Oct 25, 2010)

Coffee. It'll get me one of these days.


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## All_¥our_Bass (Oct 26, 2010)

Krankguitarist said:


> Coffee. It'll get me one of these days.


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## MFB (Oct 26, 2010)

These motherfuckers right here.


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## All_¥our_Bass (Oct 26, 2010)

JohnDillingerJr said:


> HNNNNNGGGG


 Those things are wonderful!


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## wannabguitarist (Oct 26, 2010)

I've eaten (part) of one that had a warning label to not operate heavy machinery, feed to children, or attempt to eat the whole brownie at once. How awesome is food that has a warning label?


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## josh pelican (Oct 26, 2010)

Every hot sauce I use has a huge warning, but I don't know if it will kill me... Shit blood? Maybe. Kill me? Nah.

Coffee will probably fuck my ticker some day.


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## Konfyouzd (Oct 26, 2010)

Pussy...


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## leandroab (Oct 26, 2010)

Toblerone Chocolate Bacon Bar

I DO have almost 2kg of toblerone here. Maybe I should do this...

Or build a toblerone house ! haha


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## All_¥our_Bass (Oct 26, 2010)

wannabguitarist said:


> I've eaten (part) of one that had a warning label to not operate heavy machinery, feed to children, or attempt to eat the whole brownie at once. How awesome is food that has a warning label?


Where did you get this? I want one!!!!


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## IDLE (Nov 8, 2010)

MFB said:


> These motherfuckers right here.



+1


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## Mr. Big Noodles (Nov 10, 2010)

My diet consists of fresh fruit, yogurt, coffee, giant burritos, bacon cheeseburgers, pita, hummus, beer, and scotch. I'm guessing that all but three of those will kill me.


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