# Why are you sad right now?



## Alex Kenivel

This year was my favorite guitar class I taught (at my fiancées elementary school she teaches at). We had our last day today and I probably wont see some of these kids anymore, whom I've taught chords and rhythm to, and are now writing songs and winning contests. 

These kids make me so proud.

I hope we get visits when they're older.


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## rectifryer

Because I can't find a steady lineup for a band.


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## MoshJosh

Because my wife and I are fighting


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## broj15

just got offered a good job but that means moving 4 hours away to a place where I know no one. Feeling pretty conflicted.


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## JoshuaVonFlash

I'm out of Cheese-Its.


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## AscendingMatt

BILLS


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## Demiurge

Because it's my default disposition!


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## Alex Kenivel

broj15 said:


> just got offered a good job but that means moving 4 hours away to a place where I know no one. Feeling pretty conflicted.


 
I moved across the country away from everyone I knew/my family.

It sucked. Drove all the way from California to Virginia with ALL my stuff. Gear, CPU with recording stuff, comic book collection and stamp collection that was given to me, most of my clothes, skateboards, list goes on. Had to fly back and leave it all there.

Your situation might be different, I didn't feel like spilling all my guts about the move, but I'll tell you I wasn't moving for a career.


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## broj15

Alex Kenivel said:


> I moved across the country away from everyone I knew/my family.
> 
> It sucked. Drove all the way from California to Virginia with ALL my stuff. Gear, CPU with recording stuff, comic book collection and stamp collection that was given to me, most of my clothes, skateboards, list goes on. Had to fly back and leave it all there.
> 
> Your situation might be different, I didn't feel like spilling all my guts about the move, but I'll tell you I wasn't moving for a career.



Even without saying much i can probably fill in at least some of the blanks. I'm honestly half and half as to weather I'm gonna go for it or not. I don't hang out with any of my "friends" where I currently live anymore so It's not like I'll have any fewer people to hang out with, but if I do go for it I have to sign a one year contract and If I just don't like it and decide to quit I can't have my old job back or get unemployment or severance pay, which is totally understandable, but I won't even get a "trial" period to know If I like it or not. I'll basically be signing the next year of my life away completely blind. My boss has given me "30, maybe 60 days at the most" to give him a concrete decision.


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## groverj3

broj15 said:


> just got offered a good job but that means moving 4 hours away to a place where I know no one. Feeling pretty conflicted.



I moved 2000 miles away to attend grad school. So far it's been a great decision. I was two years removed from my B.S. and almost everyone I knew at moved away anyway. For whatever reason the science job market sucked and I couldn't get a job anywhere but local places that paid like crap.

If nothing else it will be an experience! Better not to wonder whether you should've taken it, right?


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## asher

broj15 said:


> Even without saying much i can probably fill in at least some of the blanks. I'm honestly half and half as to weather I'm gonna go for it or not. I don't hang out with any of my "friends" where I currently live anymore so It's not like I'll have any fewer people to hang out with, but if I do go for it I have to sign a one year contract and If I just don't like it and decide to quit I can't have my old job back or get unemployment or severance pay, which is totally understandable, but I won't even get a "trial" period to know If I like it or not. I'll basically be signing the next year of my life away completely blind. My boss has given me "30, maybe 60 days at the most" to give him a concrete decision.



In the grand scheme of things, one year isn't very long. And if you're not really tied to where you are that much except for familiarity, you should definitely go for it IMO. If it really sucks, save as much as you can!


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## Alex Kenivel

Flying back from Hawaii today. I get back after 11pm and have to work at 8am on Monday while trying to get used to the +2hr time difference


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## asher

Ewwwwww.


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## Kobalt

When everything reminds you of the only person you ever wanted in your life...


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## asher

It'll pass (eventually).

When you catch yourself going down that road, step off that train.

Still kinda doing some of that myself.


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## BucketheadRules

I posted this in the mad thread but it doesn't fit there, because I wasn't angry, I was just shocked and really sad. This thread is ideal, therefore 

Found out a few days ago that my ex-guitar teacher has quit music after his band split up, and he doesn't even play any more.

This guy was f*cking incredible - absolutely jaw-dropping shred player, one of the best I've ever seen. Ever since I found his playing I was just blown away, inspired and hopelessly intimidated at the same time. I spent months working out one of his solos, recorded a crappy cover and put it on YouTube. 

Then I found out he was giving guitar lessons and lived reasonably near, so I emailed him the video and he replied with some really encouraging praise and also some constructive feedback. I started having lessons with him when I was 16 and the more I was taught by him, the better I became in all areas of my playing. I think he made me a far, far better player than I was before, and also got to see him play up close - frightening is the best word  He's such a great guy as well, really cool dude - and a huge inspiration to me, so it's been very difficult news to take. I'll admit, when I found out about this, I'd also just f*cked up an exam so I wasn't feeling great anyway - I was so close to tears. It's a very weird feeling when someone you've looked up to as a master of the instrument you've chosen has lost faith in it sufficiently to leave it behind - like, "if he's given up, what the f*ck am I meant to do?" But if he's happier without it, who am I to say anything. I wish him all the best.

Here he is at 3:15, playing the solo that first blew me away all those years ago...



I mean obviously, his shred chops are beyond belief - incredibly clean picking runs and he could sweep like a man possessed, but he also had possibly the most killer vibrato I've ever heard and absolutely battered the shit out of his strings (and mine, when he played my guitar ), you could tell he meant every note he played, which is IMO what makes a player truly enjoyable to listen to.

You'll be missed, Ben.


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## mr_rainmaker

Ahole neighbor shot and killed my fave cat.....


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## Emperor Guillotine

So, I am required to take and pass a 200 level language course. I chose to study Spanish in high school, so of course I picked to continue Spanish in college. I took the online placement test and passed into the 200 level. (So no 100 level for me! Hooray, one less class, means I can save money and time!) However, the instructor of my SPN-201 course (which starts tomorrow) emailed the class an extensive 15-page list of terms that we need to know and said we will be talking in Spanish every day in class.....and I know like.....a small handful of the terms. I am f***ed. I AM F***ED. Pissing money away or drop.


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## Jake

Emperor Guillotine said:


> So, I am required to take and pass a 200 level language course. I chose to study Spanish in high school, so of course I picked to continue Spanish in college. I took the online placement test and passed into the 200 level. (So no 100 level for me! Hooray, one less class, means I can save money and time!) However, the instructor of my SPN-201 course (which starts tomorrow) emailed the class an extensive 15-page list of terms that we need to know and said we will be talking in Spanish every day in class.....and I know like.....a small handful of the terms. I am f***ed. I AM F***ED. Pissing money away or drop.


My 300 level spanish course here was all Spanish and no English from day 1. Thought I was ....ed but did surprisingly well


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## Jake

Also my final semester of college has begun. This is bittersweet but more sad than happy


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## spn_phoenix_92

My cousins & closest friends whom I've spent almost every day with for the past 20+ years just moved across the country to San Diego, and there's not really any other people I hang around, & tomorrow is my grandpa's funeral. It's been a rough week.


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## BornToLooze

I had to bury one of my friends today. He was 28, had a 1 year old son and was one of those people you couldn't help but like. To give you an idea of how good of a person he was they set up a gofundme page for him and raised over $50k in 4 days. Since I started high school I've lost my grandmother, both my grandfathers, and a bunch of my best friends, plus my parents getting divorced. Honestly, by this point, I wouldn't be surprised if I was considered an alcoholic. I couldn't even go to his visitation because dead bodies .... me up in the head. My mom made me go see a shrink when I was high school and apparently I've been through more hard time than most people have when they're 50. Needless to say, I've had a couple drinks to him, a couple drinks for his family, and a ....load more to deal with all the shit that's ....ed up with me.


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## asher




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## CrushingAnvil

>no gf


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## mr_rainmaker

mr_rainmaker said:


> Ahole neighbor shot and killed my fave cat.....



same Freaking neighbor shot my moms fave cat.... 
what is wrong with people.....


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## BigBaldIan

^
What the ever living ....

Lost bunny, she seemed to be recovering from infection but other half found her unresponsive this morning. Took her to emergency vet but she didn't make it. Now having to disinfect everything as it may be an bacterial infection and we don't want other bunny getting it.


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## Don Vito

I was looking at some pics of my town on google street view. Didn't realize Birmingham, AL looked like a Mexican version of North Korea.


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## Fat-Elf

Don Vito said:


> I was looking at some pics of my town on google street view. Didn't realize Birmingham, AL looked like a Mexican version of North Korea.



Cruelty, I know.


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## brutalwizard

Dip, i'll just keep it to myself.


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## mr coffee

I'm sad because innocent young children keep losing their lives due to ignorant and irresponsible gun owners. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for gun ownership and second amendment rights, but it should go without saying that it comes with a certain amount of responsibility. It disgusts me and saddens me when these stories are in the news seemingly every few days. Tonight, a six year old boy got shot in the face and died after a round came through the wall.

-m


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## asher

brutalwizard said:


> Dip, i'll just keep it to myself.





We are here for you buddy.


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## brutalwizard

asher said:


> We are here for you buddy.



Thanks man, I had alot of my posts deleted from Off topic. I am sometimes unable to filter myself.


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## asher

brutalwizard said:


> Thanks man, I had alot of my posts deleted from Off topic. I am sometimes unable to filter myself.



's okay. Everyone needs some outlets (I saw the post last night, but was super busy), I can certainly understand!


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## Emperor Guillotine

Not sure if I'm more sad or mad (combination), but I really need some advice on a private matter. It's not "personal life" related in any way - it's something different. Something involving an event that is related to this forum and might lead to me dipping out. Any PMs for some advice would be helpful.


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## leandroab

Working abroad for longer than I thought. Girlfriend really pissed off. I need friends.


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## Konfyouzd

Considering trading in a car I'm currently making payments on and I know I'm gonna get raped... 

But the car will be better...


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## asher

How much longer do you have on payments?

Would it make sense to pay it off first?


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## BornToLooze

I got 2 new guitars about a month ago, and haven't even touched them because I can't think of anything that I feel like playing.


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## Necris

Not "sad", more disappointed:
Tried a bunch of 7 strings from Jackson, Ibanez and Washburn and various price ranges (the washburns were the old chinese crap 7's) at my local shop today and I honestly don't think I can see myself getting used to the feel of a 7.  The overall feel for every single one was off enough that I can't help but feel that even if I brought the one I liked the best home even after giving it a proper set up and stringing it up with my usual string gauges etc. it would probably just sit in the corner rarely played until I eventually sold it.

Saves me some money, at least, I suppose.


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## Forrest_H

Necris said:


> Not "sad", more disappointed:
> Tried a bunch of 7 strings from Jackson, Ibanez and Washburn and various price ranges (the washburns were the old chinese crap 7's) at my local shop today and I honestly don't think I can see myself getting used to the feel of a 7.  The overall feel for every single one was off enough that I can't help but feel that even if I brought the one I liked the best home even after giving it a proper set up and stringing it up with my usual string gauges etc. it would probably just sit in the corner rarely played until I eventually sold it.
> 
> Saves me some money, at least, I suppose.



It is really a random "hit or miss" thing. I jived with my Agile as soon as it arrived in the mail, but when I let my boss borrow it for a week, it was back the next day. 





Super tired of all the wonderful bullsh-t my family is doing. My dad is lying to my grandmother about how I'm extremely manipulative and I only use him for money, which is strange because I've paid for most of the sh-t I own with my own money. My mom gets mad at me because I work so late, but when I come home to visit, she's never there. My sister is destroying her life because she's taking the words my dad utters without a second thought (due to severe bipolar and anger issues) and thinking she's nothing. Girlfriend is constantly angry at me because I don't want to give up on my dad and I still try to keep in contact with him, even if it's 4 am phone calls where he just lays into me, telling me I'm nothing and he wish he didn't have a son, all because I want him to get it out of his system and feel better. Masochism for the sake of others? Whatever. I just want to stop caring and to pack up all of my stuff, get in my car, and drive until I can't figure out where the f-ck I am anymore. But because of whatever stupid guilt complex I have, I can't. Because I don't have a college degree at the ripe age of 18, I can't. Because I have about a grand to my name and nowhere to stay, I can't. The whole situation brings me to tears every night, and anger because I think I'm a bitch for crying. 


END RABBLEDEHRABBLEHUEHUEHUE


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## Church2224

I was at a funeral today and saw my ex there. She looked really pretty, and despite the way she treated me and all we did was argue most of the time, I miss her. 

Sometimes I wonder what I could have done to have kept her, but at the time it was so much stress keeping it together I could no longer handle it. So many people interfered and it was draining me. At the same time, when we were dating and sleeping together a few months later, we never did anything to make it work. She kept saying she did not know what she wanted, and eventually I was losing interest because of that and began looking elsewhere for love or just gave up. Maybe if I had fought for her or tried harder, it could have been better. Now, she is in the arms of who I thought was a good friend of mine. 

I do remember one day, holder her in my arms in the moonlight, the stars glistening in her eyes, and her beauty and her smile, with no words being said, just the two of us standing there holding each other, that if we could have more moments like that, It would be worth fighting for. 

I just want a hug right now after being reminded about all of that.

Plus so much is going on, my grandfather is still struggling with his stroke, I am trying to get through school and work, and so many dreams are not being fulfilled or falling by the wayside. I had an idea to sit down and try to plan them out, and see what I need to do in order to accomplish them and get life together and take care of my family, but right now all I feel is broken after seeing her.


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## Church2224

Forrest_H said:


> It is really a random "hit or miss" thing. I jived with my Agile as soon as it arrived in the mail, but when I let my boss borrow it for a week, it was back the next day.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Super tired of all the wonderful bullsh-t my family is doing. My dad is lying to my grandmother about how I'm extremely manipulative and I only use him for money, which is strange because I've paid for most of the sh-t I own with my own money. My mom gets mad at me because I work so late, but when I come home to visit, she's never there. My sister is destroying her life because she's taking the words my dad utters without a second thought (due to severe bipolar and anger issues) and thinking she's nothing. Girlfriend is constantly angry at me because I don't want to give up on my dad and I still try to keep in contact with him, even if it's 4 am phone calls where he just lays into me, telling me I'm nothing and he wish he didn't have a son, all because I want him to get it out of his system and feel better. Masochism for the sake of others? Whatever. I just want to stop caring and to pack up all of my stuff, get in my car, and drive until I can't figure out where the f-ck I am anymore. But because of whatever stupid guilt complex I have, I can't. Because I don't have a college degree at the ripe age of 18, I can't. Because I have about a grand to my name and nowhere to stay, I can't. The whole situation brings me to tears every night, and anger because I think I'm a bitch for crying.
> 
> 
> END RABBLEDEHRABBLEHUEHUEHUE



I know the feeling man, come here


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## Emperor Guillotine

BornToLooze said:


> I got 2 new guitars about a month ago, and haven't even touched them because I can't think of anything that I feel like playing.


I got a new guitar three months ago (first week of January) that I'd been wanting for awhile. I haven't even touched it because I don't feel like playing or can't think of anything to play. Ditto for writing - I just don't feel like writing or can't think of anything to write.


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## ncfiala

My wife just said she wanted a divorce. I feel like I will die of sadness.


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## Forrest_H

ncfiala said:


> My wife just said she wanted a divorce. I feel like I will die of sadness.



Hang in there buddy.

I have not had to undergo the pain of what you're going through, being 18 and all, but from seeing both of my parents go through 2 marriages (dad turned out even more insane but not the point), I do know that it is possible to be happy again.

I read your main thread, and at the very least, you don't have children to worry about and take care of. You don't have to have ties to your wife, you are free to forget about her and move on. 

My mom struggled with a lot of the same issues you had (Depression, anxiety, all that jazz), in addition to having my dad abuse her, and her second husband walk out on us, but now she's incredible happy, happier than I'd ever seen her before. Like, home movies of her playing with me as a baby happy. So it's absolutely possible to get past this if there's no way to fix your marriage.

Feel free to message me. Yes I'm a dumb kid and I don't understand adult things, but I do know how to listen, and I hate watching people suffer.


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## Forrest_H

Church2224 said:


> I was at a funeral today and saw my ex there. She looked really pretty, and despite the way she treated me and all we did was argue most of the time, I miss her.
> 
> Sometimes I wonder what I could have done to have kept her, but at the time it was so much stress keeping it together I could no longer handle it. So many people interfered and it was draining me. At the same time, when we were dating and sleeping together a few months later, we never did anything to make it work. She kept saying she did not know what she wanted, and eventually I was losing interest because of that and began looking elsewhere for love or just gave up. Maybe if I had fought for her or tried harder, it could have been better. Now, she is in the arms of who I thought was a good friend of mine.
> 
> I do remember one day, holder her in my arms in the moonlight, the stars glistening in her eyes, and her beauty and her smile, with no words being said, just the two of us standing there holding each other, that if we could have more moments like that, It would be worth fighting for.
> 
> I just want a hug right now after being reminded about all of that.
> 
> Plus so much is going on, my grandfather is still struggling with his stroke, I am trying to get through school and work, and so many dreams are not being fulfilled or falling by the wayside. I had an idea to sit down and try to plan them out, and see what I need to do in order to accomplish them and get life together and take care of my family, but right now all I feel is broken after seeing her.





Know all those feels. Ugh.


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## Emperor Guillotine

Just so.....blah.


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## Forrest_H

Emperor Guillotine said:


> Just so.....blah.



Try being more... Hah.








I will see myself out now


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## Alex Kenivel

My new pod hd500x is sitting, cramped up in a FedEx box, on my porch waiting for me to come home and play with it. I have another 3.5 hours of work left 

#firstworldproblems


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## Emperor Guillotine

Alex Kenivel said:


> My new pod hd500x is sitting, cramped up in a FedEx box, on my porch waiting for me to come home and play with it. I have another 3.5 hours of work left
> 
> #firstworldproblems


Whenever you want some great patches, hit a brotha up.


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## Kobalt

I'm really starting to believe the Nazgul in the Banshee is way too thin and shrill, in comparison to the JB in the C1BJ...


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## Forrest_H

KingVee said:


> I'm really starting to believe the Nazgul in the Banshee is way too thin and shrill, in comparison to the JB in the C1BJ...



What's the body wood on those things? I was going to pick up a set of the Nazgul/Sentient's for my PRS, kinda off putting


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## Kobalt

Forrest_H said:


> What's the body wood on those things? I was going to pick up a set of the Nazgul/Sentient's for my PRS, kinda off putting


The Banshee has Alder with Maple tops. I've had a JB in Alder before (Jackson KV2), it was pretty good. I do know the comparison between the Banshee and C1BJ is a bit off since the C1 is Mahogany, but I just haven't found my way to have satisfying low-end with the Banshee. I'm trying, anyway. 

EDIT: You might wanna ask around SS though, a lot of guys seem to use that pickup set now that might have better experience with it.


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## Church2224

I was working on a client's property today. The man is in his 80s and has dementia. He never recognizes me and always wonders who I am. His daughter mostly takes care of things and pays me to do his property maintenance. After mowing and trimming his lawn, I was blowing the grass and leaves and I looked up upon his deck and he had fallen from his chair. He was struggling to get up and trying to get his chair stabilized and was yelling for help, no one was coming. Once I saw him I ran up and told him to grab my hand. He did and I pulled him up and sat him in his chair, staying with him for a few minutes to make sure he was alright. Thank science he was alright.

His daughter called me tonight and thanked me as well, and I said it was nothing. Poor man just lost his balance and fell. What scares me is, he went outside at that time, and I almost did not come by today. I almost was going to come by tomorrow. However, for some reason, I decided to keep working today and keep trying. And when he fell, for some reason I was there at that time at that place, and I might have saved his life. 

And yet, despite all of that, I feel like a pile of garbage today, and I am one of the scum of the earth. That I have no purpose at all... I could just be stressed and depressed, I am not sure...


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## asher

It's the latter one. It'll pass


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## BornToLooze

I was adopted at birth and biological family found me last year. When I was younger (hadn't thought about it since like 4th or 5th grade) I used to think my biological parents were probably really cool. Well when I met them, turns out my biological mother is the biggest ....ing piece of .... I've ever met. She's the kind of person you wouldn't piss on if they were on fire. She banned me from going to her house because after 23 years of no one getting to meet me because she couldn't handle her ...., they were paying more attention to me. My biological dad is a good guy, and I miss him, but I don't get to see him because she is a ....ing bitch.

One of my sisters wrecked her truck when she was drunk, and has some brain damage from it, and I never got to meet her before it happened. My other sister is an FSA piece of ...., who would get pissed at me because I wouldn't buy her alcohol when she was under 21. My half brother killed himself when he was in the Army. He couldn't deal with being in the Army anymore, so was going to shoot himself so he could get out, but he turned and the bullet pierced his heart. Oh well, I didn't need to meet my ....ing brother. From everything my brother has told me he was basically a piece of ...., but I still wish I could have met him.

My brother was the only person that actually tried to talk to me when they all found me. One day when I got home from work I had 3 friend requests from people on facebook that all had the same last name, so I figured something was up. I talked to my mom and figured out what my biological families names where. My cum dumpster (I mean biological mother) wouldn't talk to me, and my sister didn't really try to talk to me, but my brother told me everything without beating around the bush, and for some reason he's the only one I actually talk to.

I don't know why, but I had such high hopes for them.


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## Alex Kenivel

Feeling the wrath of cheap nachos and garlic fries..


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## Skyblue

Just feeling... Empty. Everything I do feels like random things to pass the time. 
Broke up with my ex about... 3 years ago? had one date since. Haven't been with a girl since. Or ever, for that matter. 
And I feel like my sadness is silly, that it's probably some bad mood and it'll pass, but it won't help. I just feel stupid for letting it get to me.


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## BucketheadRules

I... ok, this might be a long one. 

I feel this kind of sadness and constant treading-on-eggshells anxiety about my situation with the girl I've been trying to get together with for the last few months. I've fallen for her massively, but despite my best efforts it feels like a hopeless situation. I'm happy in my own skin, my self-confidence has improved so much over the last few months and I feel pretty good about myself in general, and whenever I'm with her I feel even better - being around her makes me so happy. But the downside is that we don't get to see each other that much, and she's generally pretty slow to reply to messages, sometimes she just doesn't... and she once cut me off for an entire month, which turned out to be for reasons that had nothing to do with me, so I don't think the inconsistent contact is too much of a reflection on me - but it does still suck not hearing back from her. That month of silence absolutely killed me, it was awful. And whenever I'm waiting to hear from her, I get totally consumed by that, which affects everything else. I like her too much, it's unhealthy. And that doesn't seem to be reciprocated - we're pretty good friends, we talk a lot and get on very well, but I want to go further than that and I don't know if she does.

So I like her a lot, but at the same time I have this sad kind of resignation to the fact that it probably won't go anywhere... we used to flirt quite a bit (less so now) but I have no idea if she actually finds me particularly attractive. And at any rate, I don't think she wants a boyfriend, seems like she's more into casual hook-ups, which is fine... but I _do _want a girlfriend, and she's the only girl I really want right now. Even if it did, despite how much I like her I get the feeling it'd be ridiculously difficult to maintain a healthy, stable relationship with her. She has lots of male friends, and I can't work out if I'm just another one of those... and why she'd pick me over any of them if she wanted to settle down a bit.

I know the whole thing is ridiculous... my family think I'm mad, the few friends I've told about the full extent of the situation have suggested I be cautious as well. I have no idea where I stand with her, it's extremely difficult to read what's going on because the signals are all over the place (doesn't help that I overthink absolutely EVERYTHING)... and I guess I'm in way over my head, because I have almost no experience in this - I've never been in a proper relationship with anyone. All I know is that I can't really help having fallen for her.

The worst thing though? She might have an inkling that I'm into her (I honestly don't know), but I'm 100% certain she doesn't know I like her quite as much as I do... and while I feel like I should talk to her about it, because it weighs on my mind and I've been carrying it around with me for too long, I don't feel like there's any point because she almost certainly wouldn't want the same thing that I do out of this. So all it could really do is make us feel less comfortable around each other surely, and I wouldn't want that. But at the same time I want my feelings to be out there in the open. But then I don't want to make her want nothing to do with me. But then I need to get this off my chest... getting it off my chest here will do for now...

So yeah. I'm confused, frustrated, despondent, anxious, kind of lonely, not to mention absolutely head-over-heels for someone who in all likelihood doesn't feel the same about me, but most of all I guess I'm just sad. Hence why this is here and not in the relationships thread.


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## BucketheadRules

BornToLooze said:


> I was adopted at birth and biological family found me last year. When I was younger (hadn't thought about it since like 4th or 5th grade) I used to think my biological parents were probably really cool. Well when I met them, turns out my biological mother is the biggest ....ing piece of .... I've ever met. She's the kind of person you wouldn't piss on if they were on fire. She banned me from going to her house because after 23 years of no one getting to meet me because she couldn't handle her ...., they were paying more attention to me. My biological dad is a good guy, and I miss him, but I don't get to see him because she is a ....ing bitch.
> 
> One of my sisters wrecked her truck when she was drunk, and has some brain damage from it, and I never got to meet her before it happened. My other sister is an FSA piece of ...., who would get pissed at me because I wouldn't buy her alcohol when she was under 21. My half brother killed himself when he was in the Army. He couldn't deal with being in the Army anymore, so was going to shoot himself so he could get out, but he turned and the bullet pierced his heart. Oh well, I didn't need to meet my ....ing brother. From everything my brother has told me he was basically a piece of ...., but I still wish I could have met him.
> 
> My brother was the only person that actually tried to talk to me when they all found me. One day when I got home from work I had 3 friend requests from people on facebook that all had the same last name, so I figured something was up. I talked to my mom and figured out what my biological families names where. My cum dumpster (I mean biological mother) wouldn't talk to me, and my sister didn't really try to talk to me, but my brother told me everything without beating around the bush, and for some reason he's the only one I actually talk to.
> 
> I don't know why, but I had such high hopes for them.



Awww sh*t man


----------



## Church2224

Two years ago today a girl I loved confessed her feelings to me. It was one of the most powerful moments of my life. She told me I meant the world to her, that I was kind, sweet, mature and a man who knew what he wanted and went for it. The truth is I wanted her more than anything else in this planet. Girls come and go, but this one was special. When she did she embraced and kissed me, and I felt like the luckiest man in the world. 

We spent the day at the river together. Here I was, this ordinary guy with a beautiful young woman, who wanted to spend time with me, of all people. We had a good time, just playing in the river and exploring the woods. That night I took her home and we sat in my truck bed. She loved that truck too. I asked her what she wanted out of the two of us, and if what she said was the truth. She said yes, but she did not want the same thing I wanted. She was young and wanted to still have fun, and I wanted the real deal. When it was over I walked her inside, left and cried the way home. I wanted her real bad. 

A month later, I find out she is dating a high school drop out, pot smoking and dealing buddy of mine. This was at a party at my house. I walk inside, and sure enough the two were making out on my couch in my living room. I threw the guy against the wall, and told them to go to hell. If she had not interfered I would have pounded him into oblivion. Never had I been so hurt in my life. She then denied everything she told me. She later calledmea creeper and laid into me on Facebook, saying I had a terrible temper and I am insane. They are still together, too...

Sad thing is, I still think about her, and if she really did care about me and believed what she told me. I wonder if we had ended up together what would have happened. Alas, I will never know.


----------



## DistinguishedPapyrus

I'm sad right now because of so many lost people in the world who refuse to turn to God and let him show them the truth and in fact are fighting against him though they may not even know it. Prophesy is unfolding right in front of us...


----------



## Alex Kenivel

Church2224 said:


> Two years ago today..



But you know, she turned out to be kind of an idiot and sociopath, so maybe you're better off. I wouldn't give ANYONE the time of day who would go on Facebook and flip the script like that.


----------



## Church2224

Alex Kenivel said:


> But you know, she turned out to be kind of an idiot and sociopath, so maybe you're better off. I wouldn't give ANYONE the time of day who would go on Facebook and flip the script like that.



Logically I can deduce that. I know the truth deep down and it would have never worked out in the long run. I was too blinded by my own emotions to realize all of the issues, and deep down she was very narcissistic. 

I just wanted to vent it out, as we all have feelings like that at times and it hurts. I am just trying to build myself up to get an even better, more beautiful, more compassionate and more compatible woman.


----------



## Alex Kenivel

I understand, venting is good. That's the point of this thread..


----------



## HoneyNut

I want a Suhr.


----------



## Alex Kenivel

Jeesan said:


> I want a Suhr.


----------



## pondman

Just finished a 12 hour slog at work and forgot to get a pack of beer on the way home


----------



## Kobalt

Misinformed guy selling a rather mint-looking Jackson DKMGT in trans-black (which is a guitar I've ALWAYS wanted), listing it as a '98 because the first two numbers on the neck plate reads 98...and it has to be a 2006-2011 because it has active EMG's and two pots (pre-2006 had HZ's with active gain boost and three pots).

And he's selling it for 600$. Shame...way too steep for me.


----------



## The Finger

I just decided that I'm going to have to break up with my girlfriend. .... tears me up, man.


----------



## Konfyouzd

For the first time since college, I have a take home test...


----------



## Alex Kenivel

Been having localized stomach pain for a few days now. It's not getting any better, and I've already had my appendix taken out. Going to the hospital tonight if it doesn't get better


----------



## asher

Alex Kenivel said:


> Been having localized stomach pain for a few days now. It's not getting any better, and I've already had my appendix taken out. Going to the hospital tonight if it doesn't get better



Ooof. Good luck man.

Hopefully it's something relatively innocuous. Stress ulcer?


----------



## Alex Kenivel

Spent 7 and a half hours in the emergency room. Intestinal inflammation. Can't even attend up straight. That was yesterday. Today is a splitting headache and nausea. Fml


----------



## Emperor Guillotine

Heartbroken. Literally went from one of the best nights (Friday - see my post in the "why are you happy" thread) to one of the worst days today. I was lied to and led on. Now I'm sitting here suffering and experiencing some really dark thoughts.


----------



## pondman

Ebay fee's. 
Yeah its the biggest worldwide selling market, but the greedy bastard fee's just kill any deal.
They even charge a percentage on the postage fees. God, just kill me now please before I give any more of my hard earned cash to these c**ts !!


----------



## Black43

Because school's started back, it's the 2nd last term but effing hell I'm already hating it


----------



## bloc

Black43 said:


> Because school's started back, it's the 2nd last term but effing hell I'm already hating it



I'm the opposite. Just graduated and now it's time to start looking for a job.


----------



## Taylor

Missed the same opportunity I had three years ago...


----------



## Alex Kenivel

Still in bed writhing in pain. Probably going to go back to the hospital..


----------



## mongey

one year since my mum passed away today , and at work having a crap day , and my 12 week old woke me up at 3am this morning and I didin't get back to sleep. bad combo


----------



## FILTHnFEAR

I saw a very close friend for possibly one of the last few times I might ever see him this week.

His health has faded fast. It's up and down. One day the doctors are telling him he has a few weeks, then it's maybe a few days. 

One of the kindest hearted people I've ever known. To see the strength and positivity he presents when faced with such bleak prospects is really inspiring, a testament to his character, and heart breaking all at the same time. I can only hope to show this strength when it's my time.

Going to miss my friend, but I know I'll see him again one day.


----------



## Jake

Posted in the mad thread but more sad than mad

My uncle suffered another massive stroke and has lost the ability to speak or swallow and has a massive blood clot on his brain. No feeding tube is being introduced and he's now in hospice care. I'm heading home right before finals week of my last semester of college to basically say goodbye tomorrow. This is so tough but hopefully he at least makes it through the night so that I can get there. This man was basically a grandfather to me and my brothers and it's just so hard thinking that he most likely won't make it to see me graduate college 

life isn't fair


----------



## asher

Jake said:


> Posted in the mad thread but more sad than mad
> 
> My uncle suffered another massive stroke and has lost the ability to speak or swallow and has a massive blood clot on his brain. No feeding tube is being introduced and he's now in hospice care. I'm heading home right before finals week of my last semester of college to basically say goodbye tomorrow. This is so tough but hopefully he at least makes it through the night so that I can get there. This man was basically a grandfather to me and my brothers and it's just so hard thinking that he most likely won't make it to see me graduate college
> 
> life isn't fair



No, it's not.


----------



## BornToLooze




----------



## Insightibanez

Because I've been playing guitar for 18 years and every time I pick it up, it feels so foreign and awkward.

spent two hours trying to write something good, I finally gave up


Been thinking about selling it all


I've been in a rut for the past 4 years


----------



## ESPImperium

I lost my mum this week from a short final illness that was caused by complications of her Multiple Sclerosis. Its her Service Of Thanksgiving tomorrow and I'm happy as she is no longer in pain. However, the vast amount of time my dad and myself now have as most of the past 10-12 years have been robbed from us is blowing my mind.

One of the things that breaks me is that I have never been able to do certain things as a son and mother should have been able to do. Or things like make her a brilliant Grandmother.

However, if i can get some of the past 10-12 years back in the next 4 or 5 ill be happy. If i can take her good news in the next few years, It will help my grieving process.


----------



## asher

ESPImperium said:


> I lost my mum this week from a short final illness that was caused by complications of her Multiple Sclerosis. Its her Service Of Thanksgiving tomorrow and I'm happy as she is no longer in pain. However, the vast amount of time my dad and myself now have as most of the past 10-12 years have been robbed from us is blowing my mind.
> 
> One of the things that breaks me is that I have never been able to do certain things as a son and mother should have been able to do. Or things like make her a brilliant Grandmother.
> 
> However, if i can get some of the past 10-12 years back in the next 4 or 5 ill be happy. If i can take her good news in the next few years, It will help my grieving process.


----------



## Konfyouzd

Didn't get the job... 

I kinda didn't think I would anyway, but it sucks. Oh well... On to the next one.


----------



## Forrest_H

Had to sell off a lot of my old pedals and tube amps today.

My dad had to move to an apartment near the office because his "black-out" issue took a turn for the worse (He passed out while driving, ended up on his side in a ditch), which meant that I no longer had a place for my 5150 or my Valveking.

Guitar Center (as expected) didn't give me as much as I was hoping for (I could have made nearly a grand, which would have pushed me much closer to snagging an Axe-FX), but $670 isn't that bad, especially on the short amount of time I had to get rid of the stuff (was told 2 days ago that they had to be gone). 

I'm really bummed out because they meant so much to me. I loved the ability to crank either of those bastards up and just play the hell out of them. At least now someone will buy them who can actually use them.

*sigh*


----------



## tacotiklah

Because I don't have pizza right now.


----------



## asher

Forrest_H said:


> Had to sell off a lot of my old pedals and tube amps today.
> 
> My dad had to move to an apartment near the office because his "black-out" issue took a turn for the worse (He passed out while driving, ended up on his side in a ditch), which meant that I no longer had a place for my 5150 or my Valveking.
> 
> Guitar Center (as expected) didn't give me as much as I was hoping for (I could have made nearly a grand, which would have pushed me much closer to snagging an Axe-FX), but $670 isn't that bad, especially on the short amount of time I had to get rid of the stuff (was told 2 days ago that they had to be gone).
> 
> I'm really bummed out because they meant so much to me. I loved the ability to crank either of those bastards up and just play the hell out of them. At least now someone will buy them who can actually use them.
> 
> *sigh*



That stinks 

Though it's really good that your dad only put himself in a ditch. Yeesh.

But gear is gear. It comes and goes. And 5150s and ValveKings are definitely not uncommon, I'm sure you can pick some up again when circumstances allow.


----------



## Forrest_H

Yay more sh-tty things

I really don't know how to work into this very easily, or even convey how I'm feeling about it, so I'm just going to say it:

My ex girlfriend burnt herself to death.

That isn't a joke, or an exaggeration, my ex girlfriend committed suicide by lighting herself on fire.

I don't even know what I should be feeling. I know that I've been crying a fair bit, I know that I feel like I'm in a dream, and I know that I feel like I can't breathe. Hrmm.

It sucks because when she broke up with me after she deemed her depression to great to throw into a relationship, I begged her to please just call me when she was feeling sh-tty. I'm completely aware that I probably wouldn't have done much, but there's still a stupid nagging and gnawing side of me that thinks I did something wrong.

Sleep will be fun tonight.


----------



## asher

I'm sorry man 

But no, there was nothing you would have been able to do.


----------



## Kobalt

Forrest_H said:


> Yay more sh-tty things
> 
> I really don't know how to work into this very easily, or even convey how I'm feeling about it, so I'm just going to say it:
> 
> My ex girlfriend burnt herself to death.
> 
> That isn't a joke, or an exaggeration, my ex girlfriend committed suicide by lighting herself on fire.
> 
> I don't even know what I should be feeling. I know that I've been crying a fair bit, I know that I feel like I'm in a dream, and I know that I feel like I can't breathe. Hrmm.
> 
> It sucks because when she broke up with me after she deemed her depression to great to throw into a relationship, I begged her to please just call me when she was feeling sh-tty. I'm completely aware that I probably wouldn't have done much, but there's still a stupid nagging and gnawing side of me that thinks I did something wrong.
> 
> Sleep will be fun tonight.


I wish I could tell you I know how you feel, but I've learned at a young age that we all live the same things differently...

My ex-girlfriend, if I can call her that, has borderline personality disorder, and has attempted to take her own life away so, so many times...and not just when she was alone, but when I was there also - I've held her back many times...

The worse part is that this feeling comes in as soon as you stop being there (in these instances, when the relationship ends); you know it could happen at any moment and you can't do anything about it...

Stay strong, man...


----------



## Forrest_H

asher said:


> I'm sorry man
> 
> But no, there was nothing you would have been able to do.



 I keep telling myself that it wasn't my fault, I couldn't have done anything, it's going to be okay... But I just feel so terrible that she felt like she had to do that. I feel awful for not pushing and... Agh. 

Thanks Ash.



KingVee said:


> I wish I could tell you I know how you feel, but I've learned at a young age that we all live the same things differently...
> 
> My ex-girlfriend, if I can call her that, has borderline personality disorder, and has attempted to take her own life away so, so many times...and not just when she was alone, but when I was there also - I've held her back many times...
> 
> The worse part is that this feeling comes in as soon as you stop being there (in these instances, when the relationship ends); you know it could happen at any moment and you can't do anything about it...
> 
> Stay strong, man...



I'm incredibly sorry that you've had to deal with a situation like that. 

It's not only the fact that she's gone, it's how she chose to do it. She had serious self mutilation issues, but this beyond what I could have ever pictured ANYONE doing. Hell, when I was completely unstable, my thoughts turned to drowning or a gun, not consuming myself in flames. I keep cycling between "I could have done something" (when I know I couldn't), "it wasn't my fault," and "everything is going to be okay". This happens on a 5 minute basis. I can't bring myself to get out of my room and eat or anything. I'm likely being a major bummage to a lot of you guys, and I'm super sorry about that. Thanks for the kind words man.


----------



## Kobalt

Forrest_H said:


> I'm incredibly sorry that you've had to deal with a situation like that.
> 
> It's not only the fact that she's gone, it's how she chose to do it. She had serious self mutilation issues, but this beyond what I could have ever pictured ANYONE doing. Hell, when I was completely unstable, my thoughts turned to drowning or a gun, not consuming myself in flames. I keep cycling between "I could have done something" (when I know I couldn't), "it wasn't my fault," and "everything is going to be okay". This happens on a 5 minute basis. I can't bring myself to get out of my room and eat or anything. I'm likely being a major bummage to a lot of you guys, and I'm super sorry about that. Thanks for the kind words man.


Don't be sorry, man, I chose to deal with it when I could've just walked away - maybe because I thought I could make a difference (everybody does until they can't take it anymore), but I was (and still) in love with her and would have done anything for her.

It sounds quite extreme to do it that way, I'll admit it...but you'll never know what happened that caused it. I'm sure you've seen, just as much as I've seen, the things people do when they lose it...

You can't blame yourself. It's way too easy to think that yeah, maybe you could have been there...maybe you could have done something and prevented it...but you have to keep in mind the possibility that while that one time might have been prevented, the next one might not. In the end, we're only responsible for our own lives... I'll tell you the truth, that reality is one that ate me alive; I went to bed every night hoping that she would answer my texts the next morning...

Stay strong, man... I hope you get better; I'm a slow healer, so I know how rough the road gets...


----------



## SjPedro

I lost my father back in October. And it doesn't get easier. Last night I had another dream about him and it was so vivid I woke up in panic.
It doesn't get any easier and it never will. He was the one who got me inspired to play guitar in the first place. 
He would put on Darkside of the Moon and The Wall when I was 3 and I ran around the house with a Tennis Racket pretending to play and sing. 
when I put my band together he was the only person in my family that supported and was in every show except the last show we did back in April. The cancer was eating away at his brain and he was just recovering from surgery. For a brief moment I thought he was going to make it but he didn't and at 4 in the morning in October 10th he had seizures, was rushed to the hospital alive but he wasn't himself. My dad was long gone and just locked in his body....
Not a day goes by that I don't think about it all and today I feel even more saddened because it was on this day that he started physiotherapy. His goal was to walk again after all the surgeries ....


----------



## Forrest_H

SjPedro said:


> I lost my father back in October. And it doesn't get easier. Last night I had another dream about him and it was so vivid I woke up in panic.
> It doesn't get any easier and it never will. He was the one who got me inspired to play guitar in the first place.
> He would put on Darkside of the Moon and The Wall when I was 3 and I ran around the house with a Tennis Racket pretending to play and sing.
> when I put my band together he was the only person in my family that supported and was in every show except the last show we did back in April. The cancer was eating away at his brain and he was just recovering from surgery. For a brief moment I thought he was going to make it but he didn't and at 4 in the morning in October 10th he had seizures, was rushed to the hospital alive but he wasn't himself. My dad was long gone and just locked in his body....
> Not a day goes by that I don't think about it all and today I feel even more saddened because it was on this day that he started physiotherapy. His goal was to walk again after all the surgeries ....



I am so incredibly sorry, man. 

I've come close to that level of pain with my dad's failing heart and mind, but I can't imagine how much you are hurting. I'm sure that he was incredibly proud seeing you play. You are in my thoughts and prayers, buddy.


----------



## habicore_5150

When I was going to get something mailed off this afternoon, I ran into one of my tech school classmates

Got the news that my electronics instructor's wife passed away this morning due to cancer. She was going through a couple of sessions of chemo last year

Ran into one of my other friends who was in the same class about two days ago, and he told me that she wasn't doing so well. Didn't know it was gonna happen that soon

Only thing I can really do at the moment is offer my sincerest condolences


----------



## asher




----------



## Dusty Chalk

.... cancer.


----------



## BusinessMan

Because I'm slowly sinking deeper and deeper into depression and slowly realizing I'm worth so little to everyone.


----------



## TechDeathWannabe

Because I'm sitting here, missing my girlfriend, (who's only out of state on a trip,) and reading some of these entries/comments is, very bluntly, heartbreaking. 

Maybe not the pizza and sh-t, but the stuff that reminds me how petty my complaints are.


----------



## SjPedro

cancer is something that you know it's there but you don't really acknowledge it until it knocks on your door (or family's door in my case). It changes you and not a day goes by that I don't miss my dad. I am a better person because of him and I wish he could be here to see what I am doing with myself. I just finished recording what I hope becomes the first EP/album of the band and despite being very proud of it I wish he could be here with me and hear it. His thoughts on my songs were always so insightful


----------



## asher

BusinessMan said:


> Because I'm slowly sinking deeper and deeper into depression and slowly realizing I'm worth so little to everyone.



The second half of your statement is very, very strongly correlated to the first half of your statement.


----------



## BucketheadRules

I dunno what it is, because I've finished my first year of my degree, I have no exams to stress over, nothing to worry about really, I've bought a bunch of amazing gear recently that I love, I'm pretty happy with my playing, there are a lot of musical projects going on that I'm involved in, I'm more comfortable and confident than I've ever been socially, but there's just something wrong, and I don't know what.

I mean... it could be a physical thing - perhaps the combination of lack of sleep and a fairly poor diet, or a mental thing - being unable to avoid ruminating on my failed attempts at relationships, or the fact that I feel trapped in a job that I f*cking hate and have done for the last eighteen months at least. I suspect it's a combination of all of that... there's no one thing that's going majorly wrong, but I've just felt so downcast for pretty much the whole of the last week or two.

The thought of going back into work tomorrow morning at 8 o'clock doesn't help. I don't normally work as much as I have recently, I've been doing tons of overtime because I need money, but the flip side is that I lose the will to live every time I walk in the door now. Last Sunday I'd spent a whole day in the bakery, being stressed beyond belief because it's just such a fast-paced, labour intensive job that I was doing on too little sleep and with a million things going wrong, because I haven't had enough training and I'm basically winging it. I was still there, unpaid, 40 minutes after I was supposed to go home just to be able to get everything done. I got home and literally broke down in tears from the stress and frustration.

Not to mention that I've been there for nearly three years, which at my age (20) is a pretty long time to have been in one job. I've seen SO many people around my age come and go, often people that I've ended up becoming good friends with, and every time someone who's been there less time than me leaves, I feel more and more like I'm becoming part of the furniture, which is a feeling I hate. I kind of feel trapped, because I know I won't find a better job around here than this - it pays the best and has the most convenient hours of anything I could be doing at my age, but I hate it and dread every shift.

It's no way to live... there must be more to life than this.


----------



## BornToLooze

BucketheadRules said:


> the fact that I feel trapped in a job that I f*cking hate and have done for the last eighteen months at least.



I've been stuck at one for 3 years. I figured it would just be temporary, but nope, still ....ing stuck there. Pretty sure that's the reason I'm damn near an alcoholic.


----------



## feraledge

I had to put down my 12 year old dog today.... 
Not good days.


----------



## Alberto7

Roommate told me yesterday she wouldn't spend her last couple of days in the apartment with us, but that she had stuff to do back home at her parents' (who live relatively close by) and would only come for short periods during the day to pick up the rest of her stuff. Helping her pack and seeing her go through the door yesterday made it suddenly dawn on me that she really is leaving us, and it's affecting me emotionally a lot more that I'd anticipated. She isn't going far from us, but not having her around all the time will be a big change. I appreciate change, but I struggle a lot with it.


----------



## Arkeion

feraledge said:


> I had to put down my 12 year old dog today....
> Not good days.



It's the worst. You become so attached, and most of the time you don't really know what you have until it's gone.

About 5 years ago, I had an orange tabby cat that I had rescued as a kitten. He was about 11 then. He'd been sick for a long time, to the point where he'd go on for a week at a time defecating on himself under/on my bed (because that's where he slept and was comfortable) He'd be immobile for days, stretching out his neck as far as it would go, and you could hear his labored breathing. But every time I'd muster up the courage to take him to the vet (I knew euthanasia was the only option because my family couldn't afford to provide him the surgery/expensive treatment. I'll get to that later), he'd perk up and act like he was perfectly healthy. He'd run, play fetch, etc like nothing had ever happened. This went on in intervals for about a year. He'd be sick a week, be fine for 2 weeks to 2 months, and then get sick again for another week.

But the last time, he didn't perk up. I took him to the vet, and they told me he had a brain tumor. That kind of treatment is obviously very expensive, and my parents definitely couldn't/wouldn't pay for it. The vet told me he was too far gone anyways and he wasn't going to come back. So they euthanized him, and I cried all the way home with him wrapped in a blanket in my passenger's seat.

It was a warm day (summer is hell here in Arkansas), no sign of rain, but as soon as I pulled into the driveway a horrendous deluge started. I had asked that morning that my dad dig a hole for me to bury him in because I knew what was coming. He didn't. So I dug a hole under the apple tree in the yard, in the pouring down rain and thunder, to bury my friend in. I still have dreams about him, which is a little weird, but he was present for pretty much 3/4 of my life at that time. We'd spend summers laying in bed all day watching Bourdain reruns.

/weird animal attachment essay over

tldr:
11 year old cat died. I buried him in the pouring rain, like in the movies.


----------



## Dusty Chalk

Condolences to both of you.


----------



## Church2224

Found out my great aunt is dying. While I was not that close to her, my mother was and it is tearing her up.


----------



## Jake

BornToLooze said:


> I've been stuck at one for 3 years. I figured it would just be temporary, but nope, still ....ing stuck there. Pretty sure that's the reason I'm damn near an alcoholic.


Was stuck in a hellhole for 8 years that made me miserable basically everyday....put my two weeks notice in finally. I'm sick of having it drain me on all levels


----------



## MFB

Jake said:


> Was stuck in a hellhole for 8 years that made me miserable basically everyday....put my two weeks notice in finally. I'm sick of having it drain me on all levels



Same here. I was at my first job for 5 years and mentally clocked out at 3, only reason I stuck around was because they kept giving me raises and the staff turned over so often I became a Senior Staff and got to do f*ck all. I'm kind of in the same scenario now where I'm coming up on the 3 year mark and couldn't care less; but history repeats itself and they give me so much leeway that I can do whatever.

Although I do get to give my two weeks in a maximum of 2 months so it feels good


----------



## tacotiklah

Yesterday and today consisted of some seriously craptastic stuff. First, after spending a while working on my cousin's resume to help her find a job, she blows up my facebook messenger telling me that I ruined her resume and that I'm an idiot and all this other stuff. All because she sent me the wrong dates as to when she worked her last job and those were the dates I entered. I finally told her that I had had enough and that she needs to stop speaking to me like I'm her damn personal slave. 

Naturally she flips the hell out, unfriends me on facebook, tells all her friends some half-baked version of what went down, and they all suggest to her that she disowns me. Not content with breaking my heart in that manner, she then tries to convince her mom (the aunt that I live with and care for), to throw me out into the street. Thankfully my aunt would never do that, but the fact that my cousin just tried to mess with my place to live because I stood up for myself is the biggest slap in the face ever.

Life not being content with sending that bullsh*t drama my way, my mom calls me up and informs me that due to my sister not doing all that great of a job as a parent, both of my sister's kids have now been taken into foster care and I cannot see them anymore. I love my nieces and nephews like they're my own kids, so naturally I'm heartbroken about that as well. 

Seems like this week is the week for me to lose close family out of my life.


----------



## PunkBillCarson

Not been an easy few days... Had to give pup her vaccines and she's a little small, so it was painful for her and I hate inflicting any kind of pain on animals whatsoever. I mean, how do you explain to a dog that what you're doing is good for them? 

Not only that, one of my best friends is moving and he wouldn't tell me or my wife where. Said he'll let me know when the time is right. Well, apparently, he doesn't give a flying .... who else knows because my co-workers, some of my friends, and even some of my family knew where he moved and I didn't. Like ....in' really?


----------



## UnattendedGolfcart

I get the occasional off day here.

I'm living with my girlfriend and her parents for the summer and I'm the only one who doesn't have a full time job. My internship is only a few days a week and not occupying nearly enough of my time. My friends from college who live on Long Island are all really spread apart and are working full time so I haven't seen anyone.

Her mom is pushing me to get a job and it's getting progressively more annoying, because I've applied to probably 20+ places around here and have heard back from none of them, because I'd only be able to be there until early August. It's hard explaining to her mom that I have enough money to get by, which I totally do, because my parents aren't even concerned about me getting a job. It's just that I feel like she is judging me as someone who is lazy and not trying and that's aggravating me.

I slept until noon today. I can't do that anymore. It used to be fine when I was at school but now it just makes me severely depressed and feel lazy.

I feel worse when I work out some days. I feel like I'm making no progress where I really am trying. Same with my music. One of my best friends got engaged, I don't know how formally, because he and his girlfriend are living with his mom and both working dead end jobs. I'm hoping this doesn't mean he's going to give up on our band that we've been working on slowly for a year now.

I'm almost counting down the days until college is here again so I will be around my friends and my college routine.


----------



## Dusty Chalk

I don't mean to be your mother, but sounds like you need to get a job not for the money, but just to occupy your time. I'm not religious, but I do believe in that whole "idle hands" adage.


----------



## asher

Or if not a job, something that you can still approach with rigor and discipline (skill development, artistic pursuits, etc)?


----------



## UnattendedGolfcart

Dusty Chalk said:


> I don't mean to be your mother, but sounds like you need to get a job not for the money, but just to occupy your time. I'm not religious, but I do believe in that whole "idle hands" adage.



That's why I want a job. I go stir crazy here. Nobody is hiring me though which means I get no money and I have too much free time.



asher said:


> Or if not a job, something that you can still approach with rigor and discipline (skill development, artistic pursuits, etc)?



I'm writing music and reading and have now started some fresh video games, so I have plenty to do. I just need to really do it. I need to get vigorously reading books and practicing guitar so that I'll actually feel driven to accomplish something tangible.


----------



## Thanatopsis

Things with this girl are ....ed up, and not because of anything between us or that I've done. She's letting things other people are saying get to her. She's 10 years younger than me, but we both grew up in the same small suburb where everyone likes to talk .... about other peoples business. A few weeks ago, I was taking her to get a tattoo for her birthday and when we got there she realized she left her purse at a friends house that we stayed at the night before. So I had the brilliant idea "lets just go get some gas and go down to New York right now" she said it sounded like fun, so we did. Then I remembered I had an old friend I grew up with that's been in Brooklyn for 5 years and we ended up meeting up with him and going out all night with him and a few other people. Ended up seeing the sun rise from his rooftop, you could see the Statue of Liberty from it too. I've been all over the world and had the time of my life, but that one night was the single best night of my life. I didn't think it was possible to smile as much as we both do when we're together. Why she's letting people talking .... ruin what could be such a good thing is killing me.


----------



## Leftydudebro

I feel like my job is draining me of any creativity. I've been stuck in a musical rut for a few months and i hate it. I'll write something and record as to not forgot later, and the next day i'll some back to it and hate it and think it sounds like utter crap.


----------



## elkinz

BusinessMan said:


> Because I'm slowly sinking deeper and deeper into depression and slowly realizing I'm worth so little to everyone.


 

iv been in this exact position, and I think the more you talk about it with people that are important to you and get some professional assistance too, you'll realize its not the way it seems! 

I was on escitalopram oxalate for a year and a half and it was probably the hardest time of my life, but being on those meds allowed me to approach the problems in my head with a more neutral set of emotions and gave me a chance to talk to people about what I was feeling! After years of struggling and finally getting help id realized it was me all along, and the anxiety condition I was struggling with. 

And like the other fellow said, the second half of your statement is absolutely correlated with the first half. The first step to being happy, is *practicing* being kind to yourself and loving yourself dude.


----------



## andremacedo

I am not sad and I don't want you to be sad, so I'm here just to tell you that is ok and HAVE A NICE DAY


----------



## Zado

Cause I live in Italy,that tell you pretty much everything.


----------



## Necris

My fretting hand has finally given me an emphatic and painful "No" in regards to playing on even somewhat thin guitar necks, so some of my guitars need to go. 

I thought I had more or less solved the problem through reworking my technique since I've experienced no wrist pain whatsoever until tonight but it turns out I was wrong. I pulled out one of my guitars guitar that is tuned to E standard which has a thinner, more "shred" oriented neck profile in comparison to the guitars I've been playing lately and despite the fact that I'd only been playing for maybe 15 minutes I had to put my guitar down and stop for the night.
Oh well.


----------



## Emperor Guillotine

I decided to cut two of my closest friends...or at least I thought they were...out of my life tonight. (Both were unrelated incidents.) Happy Independence Day to me...


----------



## asher

Necris said:


> My fretting hand has finally given me an emphatic and painful "No" in regards to playing on even somewhat thin guitar necks, so some of my guitars need to go.
> 
> I thought I had more or less solved the problem through reworking my technique since I've experienced no wrist pain whatsoever until tonight but it turns out I was wrong. I pulled out one of my guitars guitar that is tuned to E standard which has a thinner, more "shred" oriented neck profile in comparison to the guitars I've been playing lately and despite the fact that I'd only been playing for maybe 15 minutes I had to put my guitar down and stop for the night.
> Oh well.



Come to the EndurNeck side. We have comfy.


----------



## Alex Kenivel

Wrist pain blows


----------



## Konfyouzd

Developed app at home on sweet computer... Lightning fast...

Took it to work... Slowest .... ever. 

Back to the drawing board.

Code sure is pretty, though...


----------



## asher




----------



## Konfyouzd

On second thought it may have something to do with our servers moving to VMs out in Colorado. They gave me a dev box that was based on one of those and everything became significantly slower. The guy that gave the me machine told me it had to do with the network architecture and the number of switches between here and Colorado.

So... I'm thinking that maybe it's just the GUI that's loading slow as a result of that. I need to look at my query logs and see how fast it's *actually* executing vs how fast it's loading. I hadn't thought about that before.

When I ran it in my dev environment at work--a local box--it seemed fine. It's in production that I become sad... 

The plot thickens... I need to turn my brain off, though. I spent 30 hours of my weekend programming that crap. I need to stop.


----------



## mrjones_ass

Because I am a slave at a company that I dont like working for, and I had to work this whole last weekend.


----------



## PunkBillCarson

Because people constantly ignore me. It's been this way for 26 years. People pay me no mind except on random occasions, but when I want to have a convo, no one messages me back. So ready to just say .... it, delete everything...


----------



## Church2224

Just found out my dog Sadie is dying...


----------



## naw38

I patted a possum on the tail last night now I legitimately feel like I'm going to die. I feel absolutely awful. The possum was so cute!

Make sure my daughter gets my guitar and sword.


----------



## Don Vito

I scour thrift stores for vintage video games, sometimes for myself, but also for resale purposes. I checked out this one place I've never been to in the new town I moved to about a month ago. I live in the small, but thriving industrious part of town. Lot's of distribution centers for big companies like Dollar General and CVS. There are some factories here as well.

The rest of the city is absolutely run down and dirt poor. The place I went to today was in the downtown area, and it just killed me. Everyone in there looked so battered and desperate. If anything, it made me infinitely more grateful for what I have.


----------



## Church2224

Tomorrow morning at 10:00 we are putting my dog down...


----------



## Alex Kenivel

Gaaawd that whomps. give her a king size chocolate bar beforehand. it will make her the happiest dog


----------



## MetalheadMC

My oldest daughter starts kindergarten tomorrow, and my boy starts the 3rd grade...damn I feel old


----------



## Dusty Chalk

Because the stupid people at Amazon sent me the D'Addario string sets with tins in a box without padding, so 2 of the 3 tins are already all beat up, but they sent the guitar strap in the exact same size box with plenty of padding.

Stupid people make me sad, because De-evolution is real, and the earth is doomed.


----------



## kazzie

Cuz I only got 5$ left until tomorrow PM and I want chocolate and cigarettes


----------



## vilk

buy hobo cigars and handfull of m&ms from a dispenser machine that takes a quarter


----------



## TedEH

Learned that my niece was born yesterday by reading about it on Facebook. Nobody bothered calling.


----------



## elkinz

PunkBillCarson said:


> Because people constantly ignore me. It's been this way for 26 years. People pay me no mind except on random occasions, but when I want to have a convo, no one messages me back. So ready to just say .... it, delete everything...


 

hang in there dude! Iv been in a similar situation and I found that sometimes I was my own problem. Maybe jump out of your comfort zone and meet some new people and go hangout  Theres nothing better than hanging out, it sure beats conversations over the internet. Social media isn't very reliable, but being next to a person is great!


----------



## elkinz

TedEH said:


> Learned that my niece was born yesterday by reading about it on Facebook. Nobody bothered calling.


 
man I have this happen to. Im forever getting asked by extended family if im "going to be there today" to later find out that there is a variety of events that *no one *told me about or anything :/


----------



## Dusty Chalk

As mentioned in the happy thread, Between the Buried and Me announced an epic roadshow...

...but they skipped Virginia entirely. So my choices are either 2 hours North, or 5+ hours South...but the 5+ hours South skips DC traffic and is absolutely the last show of the tour, and I love last-night-shenanigans...

Hrm...


----------



## asher

Charlotte is five from *me*, have fun with that...

I feel your pain. Goddamn everything I've wanted to see hasn't come closer than Baltimore and I don't want to do that .... again.


----------



## Dusty Chalk

Yeah, Google Maps said "5+" -- I lollered.

"...with a capital PLUS..."


----------



## Alex Kenivel

It's almost Wednesday


----------



## TechDeathWannabe

My leopard gecko (of roughly six years) died today.


----------



## Steinmetzify

Mojo, dude. Losing a pet is always rough.


----------



## Dusty Chalk




----------



## Keirosen

I feel trapped. I'm working a decent job, with decent money, but they're losing business which means I lose work. I walk in every day and feel even worse, and it's been taking a toll on my relationship. I have a girl who adores me, and of whom I adore, and two kids that I love, but I'm awfully short tempered, stressed out, all the time at home which my kids vibe off of, and my wife does all she can and I still can't shake that choking feeling. We're both trying to start our own business, and the mixture of my work depression and my little patience, I'm stressing more than ever. I have a car payment that i can barely afford, and if this startup falls through, i'm scared that we're just gonna be stuck getting by. Even though we're on the hopeful cusp of a small amount of success, I'm so scared that we'll lose all we've worked for. I'm desperate to get out of this funk, for my sake, and for my family. But I'm also afraid of why I feel this way, even though we have so much going for us. Life is hard.


----------



## MetalheadMC

^^^I'm really sorry to hear that man. It's hard to keep your head up, especially with all the stress and how it affects every aspect of your life. I wish I had an answer for you, but all I can say is keep your head up and things will hopefully work out if you just keep pressing on. Good luck


----------



## Konfyouzd

People tell me I should follow/care about politics. All this has done is make it so that I give even less than a fvck about how anyone feels about ANYTHING.

That and my head gasket blew.


----------



## Keirosen

MetalheadMC said:


> ^^^I'm really sorry to hear that man. It's hard to keep your head up, especially with all the stress and how it affects every aspect of your life. I wish I had an answer for you, but all I can say is keep your head up and things will hopefully work out if you just keep pressing on. Good luck



Thanks, dude. Sometimes it's easy to lose yourself in the negative and even though there's a lot of positive stuff around you, it's really easy to take it for granted. Another contributor is that I haven't been in a good jam session in a while, and i have no recording set-up anymore at home, so I've lost one of my only outlets. Hopefully I can change that soon, as well. One day at a time, I s'pose.


----------



## MetalheadMC

Keirosen said:


> Thanks, dude. Sometimes it's easy to lose yourself in the negative and even though there's a lot of positive stuff around you, it's really easy to take it for granted. Another contributor is that I haven't been in a good jam session in a while, and i have no recording set-up anymore at home, so I've lost one of my only outlets. Hopefully I can change that soon, as well. One day at a time, I s'pose.



That's it man. One day at a time, and enjoy the time with your family. Part of your situation is similar to mine with me being unhappy with my career, which helped further progressed my depression, which leaked over to my marriage which is on its way out. 

Definitely reach out for a jam session or whatever you need to take a mental break from your problems time to time


----------



## MetalheadMC

Had to pawn a guitar today. Terrible feeling


----------



## Hajtosek

I'm both sad and mad because i'll have to wait a month to continue my driving lessons after completing 8h out of 30h needed...


----------



## cheosamad21

I just got out of a 5 year relationship 3 months ago. Lost the love of my life and my best friend (though in retrospect I know deep down they were neither of those things truly). Now I'm not sure I'll ever truly be the same. I was told it's time to sort of take a step away and do things for myself not worrying about others and truly I have been. I feel so much better then I did before but I still feel sort of empty with no one to share it with. All my friends have girls literally throwing themselves at them and just break all of their hearts over and over again but I can barely get a message back. 

I actually threw a party 2 days ago and my room mate invited (what must have been the third new one this month) some girl over. Total sweetheart and down to show me a great evening and get me as messed up as possible (which I wanted). Meanwhile come the end of the night my friend and her get into an argument and she comes to me while he storms off to tell me about how she's been single for close to 4 years and he is the only person who's been able to make her feel any sort of way.

I felt horrible. I didn't have the heart to tell her how he really is. I mean he is my best friend but how he acts about/toward women is something that disgusts me. I just tried to tell her it might be best to keep her distance even though we are moving in a few weeks anyway and they'll literally never see each other again. My friend literally couldn't care less about the girl. He just uses her for sex along with at least 4 other girls right now and they all think they're special when he tells me himself they're 'just hoes.' Some of them not only think they're dating him but have no clue that he is moving away and are going to be heartbroken when he does.

It's like this with most of my friends except me. Girls seemingly throw themselves at them and have their hearts broken because they only wanna use them for sex. Meanwhile I genuinely just desire to make a meaningful connection with someone and people couldn't care if I dropped dead tomorrow. For my handful of friends (all guys of course) I'm eternally grateful and I love them all, but I'm also jealous that they can all basically have their pick of the litter and I can't even get someone to notice me. I guess that's an immature and stupid way to look at it but it's frustrating.


----------



## TedEH

The SUV I've had for only 2 years is damaged beyond repair. The frame is so rusted that it broke where the rear suspension attaches to it. The suspension is now attached to nothing, making it extremely unsafe to drive, and everyone I've spoken to agrees that even if it was repairable, it would be prohibitively expensive. Paid quite a bit for it two years ago and I'll probably get $200 for it by some junk/parts yard. Maybe I can sell the tires/battery/etc separately to get something more out of it. 

Car shopping can be fun though- so I guess that's positive? A bit?


----------



## BucketheadRules

I've been running on four/five hours' sleep for the last few days, I'm absolutely exhausted and it's taking a toll... I've felt half-awake for the whole of today, and tonight I'm just feeling super tired, miserable, bored out of my wits and absolutely everything is pissing me off. And I can't concentrate on my work, I'm playing like sh*t and I have to go to work at 8 o'clock tomorrow morning.

Ugh.


----------



## Alex Kenivel

BucketheadRules said:


> I've been running on four/five hours' sleep for the last few days, I'm absolutely exhausted and it's taking a toll... I've felt half-awake for the whole of today, and tonight I'm just feeling super tired, miserable, bored out of my wits and absolutely everything is pissing me off. And I can't concentrate on my work, I'm playing like sh*t and I have to go to work at 8 o'clock tomorrow morning.
> 
> Ugh.



You sound like me! Except between my son with autism and my baby daughter with a cold, I'm never bored!


----------



## russmuller

I am going to Texas next month to build a guitar with Sully from Sully Guitars. I was planning to stay that week with a family friend who recently moved to the Dallas area. Turns out she's in a small apartment and doesn't have a spare bed or even a couch for me to sleep on. :-\ My credit card is displeased.


----------



## Skyblue

had a series of tight shifts (a 10:30-19:00 shift followed by a 03:00-10:00 shift, 4 days in a row) with annoying people in them, and I've slept badly. Feel like ..... Plus I went to this gallery opening a few days ago, and a female colleague who I was supposed to meet there (and whom I have a major crush on) had to cancel because of work, so that sucked.


----------



## TedEH

My grandfather passed away around a month ago, maybe a bit longer than that. I'm alright about it now, but the funeral and everything that came with it were some of the worst days I've ever experienced. I've more or less finally got back to normal, until last Friday. So I was at work a bit later than usual on Friday and my phone goes off. My sister doesn't usually call unless it's important, so I answer it and find out one of my Aunts has died. Nobody knows anything about why or how. So I go back home and.... and nothing. I live alone, so I've got nobody to really vent to or anything like that, so I had nothing to do all weekend but drink and keep busy and sit around thinking about the news I got on Friday and be reminded of the whole process we just went through with my grandfather. So I come in to work on Monday thinking "ok, I've had the weekend to get this out of my system", and as soon as I walk in someone asks how my weekend was and I crack and answer super awkwardly. Apparently, it's not out of my system, and I've got no idea how to deal with that. Family dying is sh*tty and living alone makes it sh*ttier.


----------



## Kobalt

I miss the old girl, tonight... 

That car was everything I wanted in a car and represented everything about me.


----------



## tacotiklah

Because life sucks and I fail at most everything. *insert another 5 paragraphs of emo crap that no one really cares about*


----------



## jonajon91

Feels bad that people here have actual problems and things to be sad about, but I feel like I need somewhere to ramble for five minutes. Let out some thoughts.

So this film, it's about a musical eccentric called Frank. An ordinary guy joins the band, plebs about a bit, drama happens,


Spoiler



guy leaves. [spoiler/] END.
The first half of the film is basically the story behind Trout mask replica where the band shut themselves inside a house for a year, write an album, perfect the album, record the album then go out on tour or something. My problem is that this is what I have always wanted. Perhaps not to the extreme of the Trout mask sessions, but at least something. I'm a third year uni student and I thought that coming to uni (composition course) would help me find some people that could push me musically and push my experimental mind. In reality, I know a few guitarists and a pianist. The closest I have to pushing my experimental side is someone who has a slight interest in 20th century classical music.
I'd love nothing more than to find a group of unstable people who I could create some truly experimental music with. Minimalism, repetition, microtonality, twelve tone it's all been done. I want people who can find creativity anywhere, but all around me I just see, well, people who just enjoy music instead of living it.
/rant

---edit---

I'm bad at wording stuff, but does anyone understand what I'm saying? Should I make a thread?


----------



## Grand Moff Tim

tacotiklah said:


> Because life sucks and I fail at most everything.




Pretty much this.


----------



## BucketheadRules

Not sure if mad or sad... both tbh. My sister's just been a total asshole to me and I'm pretty hurt. Not sure how much more I want to say, but yeah...


----------



## High Plains Drifter

Man I hate this thread.. basically b/c some of you guys are just such cool, funny, and really decent dudes. That's all... just sucks. and with the life that I continue to trudge through, I can certainly relate. Bet I could really relate to the post above this one too... sisters... sigh... can we send 'em in for a good set-up and refinishing?


----------



## Forrest_H

BucketheadRules said:


> Not sure if mad or sad... both tbh. My sister's just been a total asshole to me and I'm pretty hurt. Not sure how much more I want to say, but yeah...



Can definitely relate to that, man. I'm sorry. It's pretty rare to get any nice words or even a text from my sister. I feel you. 

I literally cannot sleep like a normal person anymore. I've been going to bed later and later since my ex died, and it's to the point that as soon as the sun rises. My doctor has completely cut off my valium prescription, so I've got that going for me. I don't really have a whole lot of money for a doctor, and I had my dad flat out lie to me, saying my insurance doesn't cover mental health (it does, my sister gets free treatment with no co-pay). He keeps denying that there's something wrong with me, and instead comes over when I haven't slept with a bag of pills. I don't want that. I'd like for a doctor to tell me how to fix it. Worse yet, my girlfriend is threatening to dump me over this, and apparently a bunch of people up at work are .... talking me behind my back, theorizing I'm a drug dealer (not joking). Awesome.

/endwhine


----------



## BucketheadRules

I don't even know how to put it all into words, I can't rationalise anything at the minute because there's too much, and I'm too tired, but what with one thing and another (and another, and another), I'm sad tonight. I'm really sad. I feel like crying.

To quote the Wildhearts, "today is Hate the World Day".


----------



## High Plains Drifter

^^^ 

May not help a whole lot but you know there's a few of us on here that can sincerely relate and are more than willing to be here to support you through whatever you're dealing with. Don't hesitate to reach out for some support if you feel the need. 

Take care, man. Really hope that you feel better soon.


----------



## BrailleDecibel

As some of you might know, I have bipolar disorder. I've been hospitalized for it 3 times over the years, and after all of that, I just feel like a defective, broken human being. My SSDI check is barely enough to cover bills and rent and all that and I'm grateful to have that much, but it leaves me with very little extra money to go out and do things, or say, take a girl out on a date...save for a long-distance relationship where I never actually got to meet the girl in person, I've been single for 4 1/2 years, and I feel like it will always be this way. 

Even if I do meet a girl, I'm going to have to eventually have that conversation with her where I tell her about my disorder, and hope that it doesn't scare her off. It just feels like my life is nothing but downhill from here, and that I will likely spend it alone, all because of this stupid fvcking disease I never asked to be born with. I have a hard time reaching out to my friends about this, because I don't want to bring them down with my problems, but I had to finally get it out of my system somehow, and I guess SS.O is just as good a place as any.


----------



## High Plains Drifter

I've been on more than a few forums over the years and I have to say that SSO is a very cool place to share, discuss, give, and receive support. I'm comparing that to many different types of forums fwiw. You guys are funny as hell and knowledgeable about many things... especially related to music, guitars, etc... obviously lol. 

But it's more than that. A forum like this ( despite the many members and constantly evolving pages of topics) is indeed what an online community SHOULD be. I guess a love of music is ultimately what has brought us all here, but there is a true feeling of connectivity, support, respect, and sincerity within this place. 

There are things that I feel that I can share here that I won't be ostracized for. and I would hope that any of you would feel the same way. I also need a place to vent, and learn, and connect. I have quite a few friends but many/ most of them just aren't receptive or understanding when it comes to discussing relationships, health issues, emotional issues, etc. 

I hope that you guys know how much I appreciate your support and I hope that you know that I'm here for you if you too. I've got "just a tad bit" of life-experience... some of it fantastic and much of it quite tragic and heartbreaking. I'm living proof that if someone like me can make it to where I am now, that anyone else has that chance too. 

After the horrors, isolation, and despair that I've been through... I hope that you know that even 4 1/2 years is only a drop in the bucket ( and no... I'm not trivializing how hard that can be). But for some reason [it seems] I was given the opportunity to keep living ( and none of y'all have any idea how close my game was to being over). 

Life and love are cruel yet wonderful things and they are always out there for us... It's just a matter of getting back up after we've fallen and making our way through the maze of branches and thorns. Life may leave us battered, bruised, and bloody... but we still have at least one thing or another to feel blessed and fortunate about. Those things may not always be apparent nor satisfying.. but if we're ever to find solace in our hearts, minds, and souls... then we must also continue the journey. 

Please- no matter how dark it is... know that there is some light out there. Live your life/ no surrender. Peace to you all.


----------



## flint757

My dog's having heart problems and needs a specialist and meds that I'm not certain we can afford to do. They were initially talking about a pacemaker, which is so expensive it would have been impossible to afford. She mentioned going that route or euthanizing him and I've been balling ever since. I've tried to mentally prepare myself for this for months now, as he's got a lot of health problems, but it doesn't really sink in until it's staring you in the face. It hurts a lot to think he might not be here soon. He's been a part of my life for 12 years.


----------



## asher




----------



## High Plains Drifter

flint757 said:


> My dog's having heart problems and needs a specialist and meds that I'm not certain we can afford to do. They were initially talking about a pacemaker, which is so expensive it would have been impossible to afford. She mentioned going that route or euthanizing him and I've been balling ever since. I've tried to mentally prepare myself for this for months now, as he's got a lot of health problems, but it doesn't really sink in until it's staring you in the face. It hurts a lot to think he might not be here soon. He's been a part of my life for 12 years.



Very sorry to hear this. So hard to deal with. You and your buddy are in my thoughts.


----------



## flint757

Thanks. The final news is it's congestive heart failure and his heart is swollen. This is putting pressure on his esophagus and causing his lungs to fill with fluid. He can barely walk around without having to just plop down after a few steps and his breathing is extremely labored. This is in conjunction with his arthritis and atrophied hind legs, so walking was already difficult for him. At this point it's just a matter of whether we can afford to do all we can or we do just enough to make him comfortable until he can't do any of the things he enjoys anymore and then putting him down. He's been the one constant in my life so it's hard to reach that conclusion, but he's almost 13 years old and for labs that's almost a full lifetime. It's just hard to let go. I don't think I can personally sign off on the euthanasia though. I think it may be the right thing to do at some point, but it hurts too much to even consider. Someone else will likely have to agree to it if it comes down to it because I can't sign my buddies death warrant.


----------



## High Plains Drifter

flint757 said:


> Thanks. The final news is it's congestive heart failure and his heart is swollen. This is putting pressure on his esophagus and causing his lungs to fill with fluid. He can barely walk around without having to just plop down after a few steps and his breathing is extremely labored. This is in conjunction with his arthritis and atrophied hind legs, so walking was already difficult for him. At this point it's just a matter of whether we can afford to do all we can or we do just enough to make him comfortable until he can't do any of the things he enjoys anymore and then putting him down. He's been the one constant in my life so it's hard to reach that conclusion, but he's almost 13 years old and for labs that's almost a full lifetime. It's just hard to let go. I don't think I can personally sign off on the euthanasia though. I think it may be the right thing to do at some point, but it hurts too much to even consider. Someone else will likely have to agree to it if it comes down to it because I can't sign my buddies death warrant.



Man, that's rough. Please just put yourself in his place and do what's right for him... Quality of life, brother, They say that "you know when it's their time". I don't feel that's entirely true. Sometimes it's so difficult to really know. But that's why you have to be strong and as objective as possible. Please don't let him suffer. Do the right thing. He would rather go peacefully in your arms than to live on in torment and discomfort. He knows you love him and that's all he knows right now. Love him till his last moments. He won't care when he goes. It will be no harder nor easier for him. Just don't let him suffer due to your own pain pain of letting go. 

Damn, man... tears. I know how hard this is. Take care. You have all my respect.


----------



## flint757

flint757 said:


> Thanks. The final news is it's congestive heart failure and his heart is swollen. This is putting pressure on his esophagus and causing his lungs to fill with fluid. He can barely walk around without having to just plop down after a few steps and his breathing is extremely labored. This is in conjunction with his arthritis and atrophied hind legs, so walking was already difficult for him. At this point it's just a matter of whether we can afford to do all we can or we do just enough to make him comfortable until he can't do any of the things he enjoys anymore and then putting him down. He's been the one constant in my life so it's hard to reach that conclusion, but he's almost 13 years old and for labs that's almost a full lifetime. It's just hard to let go. I don't think I can personally sign off on the euthanasia though. I think it may be the right thing to do at some point, but it hurts too much to even consider. Someone else will likely have to agree to it if it comes down to it because I can't sign my buddies death warrant.



So, good news, bad news from the cardiologist visit. The good news is, specifically for the heart problems, as long as we keep him medicated he could live anywhere from 8 months to a 1 1/2 years fairly comfortably before needing to be put down. The medications are keeping his fluids down, he's eating/drinking again, his heart rate is both slower and more consistent, and they drained like 7 lbs of fluid from his abdomen (and the medication is actually not that expensive thank goodness). You could literally see how well he felt after that visit. He almost had a little pep in his step. Bad news is his condition with his heart is still really bad. He has atrial fibrillation in both heart valves, his heart is structurally a mess, his liver and heart are over-sized, and before the visit his lungs and abdomen were swelled with liquid. They also found a mass near his lung likely in a gland that could be some form of cancer. The doctor said that if it is cancer it's likely a blood cancer and probably what started the heart failure in the first place. We already decided that we won't be treating his cancer if this ends up being the case (too expensive and his last few months wouldn't be better having to go through chemo). In general, whether it's just his organs or his organs and cancer we're going to put him down once we see his quality of life slip like we did before he got put on medication. His two visits all together have cost about $2000, but it was more than worth it for our little guy to keep on kicking it with us. They said he'd likely only be alive for a week or two without the medication. He hates going to the vet so I also decided that if we did have to put him down we'd be doing it at home; that way his last moments are stress free and peaceful. His heart rate is crazy when he knows he has to go to the vet. He is in a state of pure terror usually and that's no way to go out of this world.


----------



## Slunk Dragon

Because in a few months, I will have been dating the love of my life for five years, and I don't feel any closer to marrying her or moving in with her...


----------



## Mprinsje

So apparantly they (church people) are gonna give my grandparents the ol' last sacraments monday. Now they're doing it on my grandma's request so that she's still aware that it's happening but that .... makes me sad man.


----------



## svart

Slunk Dragon said:


> Because in a few months, I will have been dating the love of my life for five years, and I don't feel any closer to marrying her or moving in with her...



If it can take away the sadness dude, I've been together with my everything dince 2004 and we didn't move in together untill 2010! And tiday we're not married, but we are as in love as the first day ;-) 

Time means nothing...


----------



## tm20

CJ is no longer in Thy Art Is Murder :'( but i wish him the best, he always said in interviews he wanted to get married and have a family. I look forward to TAIM in 2016


----------



## MichaelH

About nine months ago i quiet a job that i really loved after five years.
I found a place that i thought would give me a promotion and a better chance for the future, but it turns out this place is horrible and is run by idiots.
But know i can't go back to my former job because the position is taken.
I'm so angry at myself and feel like such an idiot!!!
Can barely sleep or eat and constantly think about my former job
and have dreams about going back.
I miss the people and my boss, she was awesome.
I wish i had a time machine...


----------



## cheosamad21

I've been talking to a new girl for the last few weeks and been really loving every second of it. She's everything I want and she makes me feel really incredible. She says things to me that no one else ever has before and makes me feel better about myself as a person.

But last night we were talking and she said something that really filled me with worry. She told me that she's not felt this way about someone before and that she really doesn't get into the whole 'lovey gushy relationship' thing but for some reason she's making an exception for me. Ever since she said that all I can think about is if one day she just changes her mind and ends up hurting me really bad.

I've been thinking all day if maybe I should just cut it here and not take the chance of getting hurt again. I've been single for a really long time now though. It would be nice to have someone I can share affection with again but at the same time I'd rather stay alone than get hurt again. She really is perfect for me but after saying that I'm feeling scared that this could turn into a really bad slice of heartache and regret at any time.

Maybe I'm just overthinking it, but it's making me feel sick to my stomach.


----------



## Taylor

Depression is back, plus I had my first panic attack today.


----------



## High Plains Drifter

cheosamad21 said:


> I've been talking to a new girl for the last few weeks and been really loving every second of it. She's everything I want and she makes me feel really incredible. She says things to me that no one else ever has before and makes me feel better about myself as a person.
> 
> But last night we were talking and she said something that really filled me with worry. She told me that she's not felt this way about someone before and that she really doesn't get into the whole 'lovey gushy relationship' thing but for some reason she's making an exception for me. Ever since she said that all I can think about is if one day she just changes her mind and ends up hurting me really bad.
> 
> I've been thinking all day if maybe I should just cut it here and not take the chance of getting hurt again. I've been single for a really long time now though. It would be nice to have someone I can share affection with again but at the same time I'd rather stay alone than get hurt again. She really is perfect for me but after saying that I'm feeling scared that this could turn into a really bad slice of heartache and regret at any time.
> 
> Maybe I'm just overthinking it, but it's making me feel sick to my stomach.



I do think that you're overthinking things but I also know that it's next to impossible not to in this kind of situation. You seem very aware that feelings can and do change. Feelings do change... people change, but I certainly wouldn't cut it off unless you just think that you won't be able to handle a break-up down the road. As hard as it is to handle getting shafted by someone that you've fallen deeply for, only you can decide if the risk is worth the investment. There's no guarantee of success and longevity but with every relationship comes that risk. You sound really happy right now with this girl. As much as I usually suggest communication, I'm not sure that communicating with her about this will yield any definitive nor positive results... assuming that you've already conveyed to her that you've been hurt before and that you're a little apprehensive about falling for her. 

I say ride the wave and be happy as long as the opportunity exists. Don't overthink it if you can help it. Anxiety can be a bitch as you know. But I wouldn't destroy something like this before you've had a chance to really see where it's headed. Heartbreak is a destructive emotion to be sure, but so is the prospect of "what could have been". Also... no one has been hurt any worse than I have and I stand here today as living proof that if I can survive and overcome than so can you. Sucks so much that broken hearts take so long to mend, but in most situations we are stronger than we give ourselves credit for. 

Good luck, man. She sounds like she may be worth sticking it out so act accordingly. JMO


----------



## kingneptune117

cheosamad21 said:


> I've been talking to a new girl for the last few weeks and been really loving every second of it. She's everything I want and she makes me feel really incredible. She says things to me that no one else ever has before and makes me feel better about myself as a person.
> 
> But last night we were talking and she said something that really filled me with worry. She told me that she's not felt this way about someone before and that she really doesn't get into the whole 'lovey gushy relationship' thing but for some reason she's making an exception for me. Ever since she said that all I can think about is if one day she just changes her mind and ends up hurting me really bad.
> 
> I've been thinking all day if maybe I should just cut it here and not take the chance of getting hurt again. I've been single for a really long time now though. It would be nice to have someone I can share affection with again but at the same time I'd rather stay alone than get hurt again. She really is perfect for me but after saying that I'm feeling scared that this could turn into a really bad slice of heartache and regret at any time.
> 
> Maybe I'm just overthinking it, but it's making me feel sick to my stomach.



Bro, I am an over thinker too, but let me tell you something: DO NOT RUIN THE OPPORTUNITY!!! 

Dude, you are already thinking about the worst before anything had ever even happened! You are getting way ahead of yourself. 

Just be yourself and go with the flow. No reason to play doomsday scenarios over and over in your head.


----------



## sawtoothscream

My hair line crapped out and I'm going to buzz it.


----------



## BucketheadRules

I had a dream that I witnessed a private Wildhearts gig... and then I woke up 

Well that's only a small jokey thing, but there's plenty of actual sh*t going on that I could be sad about too. I don't feel like going into it, I'm not in one of those moods where I want to get it off my chest. 2015 has been a tough year man.


----------



## asher

BucketheadRules said:


> 2015 has been a tough year man.



Ain't that the kittening truth.


----------



## Emperor Guillotine

It's funny looking back on 2015. I didn't do anything musically. I just focused on other things in life. It feels like another year gone to waste.

The new year is upon us, and I suddenly have this dire aching in my chest tonight that I need to create one musical contribution to the world (just one) that is worth remembering and that can show what I'm capable of. This aching hurts on both a physical level and a mental/emotional level. I mean, it really f*cking hurts, guys...

I'm just not sure if I have the drive. I mean, with this feeling (the aching that I just described), I feel like that is what the "drive" for something ought to feel like. You want it so much that it hurts. But looking back on this past year, it's been nothing but excuses, excuses, excuses as I've been caught up in the mundane busy schedule of everyday life and survival.

I hope that this new year is going to be the year the I finally obtain the time, money, and skill in order to take my musical pursuits to the next level. I hope it's the year that I can make something happen.

I'm not asking for a career in music or 15 seconds of fame. Those are just irrational fantasies. I'm just asking for something to happen. Music is all that I have known and loved for years since I was a kid. But I've never made anything of it. I'll be graduating college this year and moving on to the next chapter of my life without having achieved anything musically...without contributing one thing worth remembering... I feel like I'm racing against some sort of nonexistent clock that I can't adequately explain.

It all just has me sad.


----------



## BrailleDecibel

Spending New Year's Eve alone sucks.


----------



## asher

2015 was pretty bad, though 2014 may have fvcking blown worse. And even around friends I get moody when I drink these days.


----------



## CaptainD00M

Emperor I know how you feel, after attempting a career in music realising it really wasn't what I wanted to do and even taking a break from guitar for 4 years I cam back to music with the express intention of having it be fun and where I produced and released some stuff for the sake of finally doing something with my music.

About a year after making that decision and being frustrated about trying to do stuff by a certain age I met my friend and recording partner Flo at a Doom metal festival. After getting violently stoned for four days we joked about forming a record label for doom and making some absurdly long ep's. I didn't think it would come to anything till we met up a week later and showed me he recording rig, its not flash but we have decent enough DAW's and even had a couple amps and we started to record stuff, stuff led to a song and within about 5 months we had a 16min one track Ep made.

When I get back to Europe we will be releasing it on Bandcamp, will we make a lot of money? Probably not.
Will we get famous? Unlikley.
Are we all that bothered? Not really, its just nice to finally be able to release something and it was kind of a mental hurdle so now we have almost finished one, we're planning another, and another and hope to record them this spring.

So moral of the story is, don't loose hope it can and will happen and sometimes if you put too much pressure on you will actually kill your motivation. And to repeat something you probably know: set realistic goals, start small get over the first hurdle and then the next is easier.

Keep the faith man and good luck 

[EDIT]

My trip to india has become such a train wreck and my boss has basically left me too it that I've pretty much decided to pull the plug. anyone whose been following this saga want to comment?

But the latest round of crap has basically killed all motivation I have and the desire to stick around and see anything pan out.


----------



## Dawn of the Shred

I still think of my ex wife and the two step boys i raised for 5 years. Even after the lies, cheating and how basically she treated me like .... i still think of her. I even still have dreams about her and them kids that i loved like my own. I've had a couple girlfriends since the divorce and theirs one that really does care for me and would do anything for me. But for some reason theirs always my ex in my head. The step kids i will always love and think about and wish i could still see them. I know i'm better off without her! She treated me like .... I'm healthier, i've got back all the friends i lost cause of her and made some new one's that are amazing. Just wish i could get her out of my head just forget and move on.


----------



## High Plains Drifter

Dawn of the Shred said:


> I still think of my ex wife and the two step boys i raised for 5 years. Even after the lies, cheating and how basically she treated me like .... i still think of her. I even still have dreams about her and them kids that i loved like my own. I've had a couple girlfriends since the divorce and theirs one that really does care for me and would do anything for me. But for some reason theirs always my ex in my head. The step kids i will always love and think about and wish i could still see them. I know i'm better off without her! She treated me like .... I'm healthier, i've got back all the friends i lost cause of her and made some new one's that are amazing. Just wish i could get her out of my head just forget and move on.




This is so much a part of me. Only difference is that I never was close to her 3 kids. But, man... That was such a horrible time dealing with ( and trying to gracefully accept) all the deception. Those good times were so damn good and there were so many. It all just becomes a blur of awesome and horrid. What a gaping wound it leaves, huh?... and what sucks most is that with that one certain woman there lies the risk of a wound so deep that it seemingly takes a lifetime to fully ( if ever) completely heal.


----------



## Alex Kenivel

I missed you guys..


----------



## leftyguitarjoe

The reality of existence and its pointless futility. I cant find a reason to do anything because none of it matters. Everyone will die, as will the universe, wiping away any evidence of us ever having existed.


----------



## Alex Kenivel

leftyguitarjoe said:


> The reality of existence and its pointless futility. I cant find a reason to do anything because none of it matters. Everyone will die, as will the universe, wiping away any evidence of us ever having existed.



sounds like we're in the same boat. Don't bother rowing, we're not going anywhere


----------



## leftyguitarjoe

Alex Kenivel said:


> sounds like we're in the same boat. Don't bother rowing, we're not going anywhere



I had to stop listening to Woods of Ypres because it made my existential angst even worse. Woods 5 is one of my favorite albums of all time and I cant listen to it without wanting to die. 

If that doesnt give credit to the album though, I dont know what does


----------



## Taylor

The smallest most random things are making my depression so much worse right now.


----------



## Konfyouzd

Attempting to trust others always ends in sadness for me. Why can't those around me be as trustworthy as I try to be?


----------



## brutalwizard

Man everything was going so swell for so long.
Now my band has decided that the day I work for the last 7 months is perfect for practice. And don't tell me till day of. Then act like its my fault for not being there.

Then at work i check the new schedule, and see huh i have 5 days off i guess. Not too strange, when its slow I enjoy the time off and really dont need the money as much as the dudes with families. But then I hear that the guy i replaced 3 months ago, a managers son is coming back. Leaving either me and him in limbo or something. I have never missed a day in my 11 months there and worked really hard to move up to where i am. Now I have to stress about that.

I live with my parents. Like many of my peers. I have always paid rent, helped out around the house, ect. My pregnant sister and her boyfriend also live here. They have never held a steady job since they moved in and cause nothing but financial stress on my parents and myself. My parents will do nothing about it. Anytime i mention anything i am ignored, literally they just go quiet or tell me its none of my business. Even after this boyfriend just lost his 7th job since I started mine. Not mentioning the gaps between those jobs. This stress along with alot of stuff between my parents causes nothing but SASS-ive aggressive attitudes and arguing between eachother. 

My job which for the most part I enjoy (cook), is really fvcking up my hands and wrists. Like everyother day i wake up with swollen hands, numbness in hands, loss of grip. I'm honestly scared for myself in a year or 2 when I cant play guitar anymore cause I sold away my health. 

Im not even going to go into the state of my mental health. My normal amount of self hate coupled with all my recent letdowns is putting me past my average daily depression.


----------



## will_shred

All I want to do in life is play music and dismantle the corporate state. I am a hopeless idealist, yeah. But the thought of not acting, and not being able to act on what I see as great injustice and a threat to the welfare of future generations, completely sucks all the life out of me. 

But last time I checked, neither one of those provides a paycheck... or medical insurance. I feel like I can't be happy existing within the traditional paradigm of life. But my lady wants to wife/family and expects me to have a stable career. Hell, I don't exactly want to be broke either. But I feel like there isn't anyway to make it in this economy without sacrificing both my music and desire to actively participate in moving humanity into the 21st century in a way that will make life better for all people, not just myself. In the way that the Bob Woodwards and the Upton Sinclairs of the world have.


----------



## Slunk Dragon

Depression sucks.

I'm tracking bass for an album of my own, and every day, I'm thinking about just giving up on it.

The only thing that I think keeps stopping me, is my girlfriend is giving me endless support to do it. (She's not forcing me, mind you.)

If this album ever gets completed, hell I feel like that alone will be my life goal.


----------



## lelandbowman3

I watched World's Greatest Dad again and we're never getting Robin Williams back.


----------



## russmuller

Starting to feel like death is all around me. My great uncle died last week at the ripe age of 97. An old dog that I watched over the summer was put to sleep last week also. My cousin was pretty far along in her pregnancy and suffered a miscarriage. Bleh.


----------



## BucketheadRules

I'm pissed off because I'm gonna have to spend my entire weekend trudging in and out of London finishing off coursework, and I've already wasted an afternoon travelling an hour each way only for the place to close two hours earlier than I was expecting, so I got almost nothing done. If it wasn't for my day off work tomorrow I'd be buggered.

Apart from that? My head is currently a delightful cocktail of being exhausted to the point of making myself feel ill, stressed beyond belief with exams and assignments, lonely as f*ck, isolated from all my uni friends by living an hour away, and just disappointed in myself for more reasons than one.

At least my student loan and my Christmas wages have come in so I'm not poor any more.

But I really need something good to happen, soon. For the love of f*cking god.


----------



## Emperor Guillotine

Three reasons:

- classes at the university start back tomorrow morning. I'll be graduating soon, and now my brain is going a million miles per hour with thoughts like: "Ok, what the f*ck is the next step in life?" and "You got this degree, you don't know why, but what are you going to do?" At this point, I feel like a lost child. Like, I have NO gameplan or anything for when the next phase of life slaps me in the face in a few months. - I can say that I've never had any type of anxiety disorder. But now it feels like my brain is just determined to blow things out of proportion and make me think that I have some sort of borderline anxiety issue. It won't chill...

- Because of the above reason, I think that my depression may be slightly returning. I've actually been doing really good lately. I haven't gone through a depressive episode since May of last year. (This might be the longest that I've gone without slipping back into depression.) 

- Why is there no Jackson Marc Okubo signature guitar?  Then again, Jackson seems to just slap all of their newer metal artists with one free custom guitar and call it a day (Michael Keene, Chris Amott, Marc Okubo, etc.)


----------



## TechDeathWannabe

^Didn't Marc have a pink(ish) one? Not a sig, but as you said, a custom?
If it was pink, birdseye -or even plain- maple fretboard, bolt-on, reverse inline matching headstock, and seven strings, I can't see that selling poorly, from my blinded view from a niche community/market.  Really though, I'd love to see a Marc Okubo signature..

And pretty much bleh. 
I can sorta relate, as I'm approaching the end of my basic school, and trying to figure out where the fvck I'm going from there. Between sad and stuck on that one. :/

To top that off, my parents are controlling and often manipulative, so I'm feeling like I'm in a rut because I don't want to be an asshole or trash all that they've done for me, but I really don't wanna be here any longer than I have to, especially since they cross boundaries that in my opinion, (and my girlfriend's, and her parents'), aren't theirs to cross.
No sh!t, because I neglected to triple check about going to see a movie with her (and her brother), and didn't call to say we were leaving their house or the theater, (when I was in her parent's care), they took my keys and phone, and said I was "grounded" from my girlfriend.*
(And I say girlfriend because I haven't technically proposed yet. But technically betrothed is an appropriate word for our situation. And because -after a few years- we chose to be, it wasn't a forced or predetermined situation. Anyways..)

I'm 18. _._ Yes, I still live with them, and I'm not at a stable enough point to be paying rent yet, but sheesh this sh!t feels fvcked up. 
Her parents, -whom, typically, I'd expect the parents of the daughter to be more strict and overprotective, etc- are also miffed about it, and don't think my parents are handling things appropriately, but at any hint of not respecting them, my parents sh!t a brick and act/speak like we hate them, and like we're all against them and that we should all respect them and realize that their way is what's best. Neither my gf, nor her parents, nor me feel like their solutions are what's best, it feels more like they're wanting to control my life and to make sure I become who/what they want me to, and like they dislike the four of us.


*said movie was Star Wars. And they had said it was fine to go, but I didn't do it they way they wanted me to, and they didn't specify this until I got home and they started yelling at me. It has also been said that when I'm in someone else's care, I don't have to check in with them about leaving, or even going places in general. But that basically amounts to sh!t now, and they started ranting about how my gf's parents don't respect them because of (BS reasons) whatever, and how my younger siblings' friends' parents show more respect and "follow the rules" because with my 12 year old sister, they do call to check before going places.
Also frustrating, because they expect everyone else to conform to their rules and standards, and if another family puts their own rules ahead of my parents' rules, my parents act like no one has any respect for them and that we all piss on them. I've actually never yelled at my parents, or cussed them out, and when I do point out a disagreement, I do so calmly and rationally. (From other people saying this, not just me making claims) They tell me that they have much respect for me, but they do not hold to those standards. But, according to them, because of the movie fiasco, I have no respect for them.**

/ranting/venting


Sorry for my entitled whining, more sad than mad, and this seemed like a good place to let stuff out.

**they did say that when they were mad, and they seem to have taken it back, but I haven't heard anything about it since the incident, and that was a few weeks ago.


----------



## ASoC

I've been depressed for a long time, and I've been through a lot of coping mechanisms as a result. By the far the most effective ones are working and smoking/drinking with my friends. But school has started again, which means I have to spend more time alone because my friends are too busy and too far away. Smoking alone helps alleviate it (as well as some other problems I have), but I've decided to take a break for a while and see if it improves my life at all. 

Honestly, I'm so sick of being so alone all the time. Even when I'm with my friends, I feel different from them on a fundamental level. I've felt out of place my whole life and I'm just so sick of it. If I didn't think it was so selfish and unfair to my family I probably would have killed myself a long time ago. But, I could never allow my last earthly act to be something that would probably make my parents feel the same way I do every day. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. It's my cross to bear and even though I no longer recognize the shell of myself that I see in the mirror, I just trudge onwards. 

And I've seen a professional, and all I got out of it was a diagnosis of depression and social phobia (which is bull...., as anyone who knows me would tell you, I'm a riot at work and at parties) and pills that gave me insomnia without making me feel any better. I've always been a pensive person, but for the past few years I haven't been able to think without stumbling into the dark corners of my mind and reducing myself to a crippled, crying shell of a man who can't do anything but wait for it to stop. If I try to talk about it, I choke on my words and start tearing before I can even get to talking about the things that really hurt. 

The only times lately that I can remember being able to let my mind wander without pain are whenever I'm high and when I was with my girlfriend. Her presence was enough to make me smile like an idiot all the time. I only had one episode in front of her, and her warm hands and soft voice helped, even if it was just reassurance that she was still there. Sometimes I wonder if she knows how much worse it got after things ended. If she had known that it was going to be what is now the single largest source of pain in my life, would she have still done it? I'd like to think that she cared about me enough to not want to hurt me like this, but I just don't know. It's been a year and 3 months and I still think about her every day, in some capacity. Some days are worse than others, and some days are better, but every day I can feel it eating away at me and it's slowly killing me. 

Sorry for the unorganized rant. Today has been rough.


----------



## asher

I feel ya, buddy.

I'll note that the social disconnection feeling is, more often than not, a byproduct of the depression.

I'd recommend though, that you try to look again for professional help. It can take some shopping to find someone who you like and who cares enough to work with you to find something that works for you - more therapist than psychiatrist. It's honestly easier to get the drugs prescribed.


----------



## flint757

Finding purpose with my life and working on personal goals, being more assertive and decisive really helped me get out of my funk (mentally). Cutting back my intake of bad food, alcohol, drugs, etc. and just the amount of food I eat in general along with moving around more really helped me get out of my funk as well (on the biological side). I talk to a counselor couple times a month and these are things she's always suggesting I do. If you have some history or personal stuff to work out a therapist can do wonders with that as well IMO (worked through some issues with my father). I've also tried over the counter meds like SAM-e and L-Tyrosine to help my mood and they seem to work pretty well. Frankly, I've been trying to avoid pharmaceuticals because most of them aren't meant to be used for long term treatment which means you eventually have to figure something out with your dietary intake or life in general to help it out. If I were to be getting on any meds at the moment it'd be anti-anxiety medication as it doesn't take much to ramp up my heart rate. I wouldn't mind, but I get mean when I get anxious. It turns into a rage filled temper and that isn't even remotely healthy. My next step is to try yoga and meditation to maybe find better ways to even myself out. I figure if I get my resting heart rate down it should theoretically bring down my heart rate in general when I get anxious as well.

---

My dog is doing loads better than he was a few weeks ago, but I don't think he has much more time. He's getting more picky with his food, only drinks water outside (we don't have a doggy door and he doesn't like peeing indoors), has typical geriatric issues like inner ear problems and tremors. I'm like 90% certain he has cancer, but we can't treat it so we opted not to do a biopsy as it's expensive and the results don't change anything. What's really frustrating is I'll find pills he was supposed to swallow on the floor periodically which means he isn't always getting all his medication. The day before yesterday he was literally vibrating on the floor like he was freezing or in pure terror. Scared the crap out of me, but I think he gets vertigo from time-to-time so he gets really scared.

/rambling


----------



## Mechanix11

Well i don't usually post this kind of things but well...

Lately I haven't been very motivated to play guitar, i just try to play some of my favorite songs but are always the same, i feel like i'm not progressing at all and in these days i'm becoming more interested on learn drums now and in some kind bass as well. The same thing goes on skateboarding, because of school i couldn't go out and skate but now that i have time i feel like i suck on making some tricks i know and one of my friends that skate is better than me and in some way that makes me upset little bit, that i can't progress enough.

Something that i would like to have is being more motivated to do things and not be to insecure of myself. Because in some ways i felt like I've been not a very good friend with my friends. I wish i could got better in that aspect, being more assertive in my life and be more focused on school and not be very distracted with negative thoughts.

Also not having a girlfriend, well i'm not trying to focus on that, i think that time will tell, but sometimes being lonely and not having someone to have a good time or to talk besides my friends makes me thing about. In my past crushes i had a bad luck (thanks to my insecurity i guess) or even making mistakes or things that i wish i didn't say in that time .

And right now i'm choosing my classes for next semester, and because i failed my Programming course, so i couldn't get enough points for my next classes of the semester and in some groups i was taken out because of that . So i hope my tutor can give me those courses without making a bad schedule.

Sorry if i made any speelling errors.


----------



## Tech Wrath

Mechanix11 said:


> Well i don't usually post this kind of things but well...
> 
> Lately I haven't been very motivated to play guitar, i just try to play some of my favorite songs but are always the same, i feel like i'm not progressing at all and in these days i'm becoming more interested on learn drums now and in some kind bass as well. The same thing goes on skateboarding, because of school i couldn't go out and skate but now that i have time i feel like i suck on making some tricks i know and one of my friends that skate is better than me and in some way that makes me upset little bit, that i can't progress enough.
> 
> Something that i would like to have is being more motivated to do things and not be to insecure of myself. Because in some ways i felt like I've been not a very good friend with my friends. I wish i could got better in that aspect, being more assertive in my life and be more focused on school and not be very distracted with negative thoughts.
> 
> Also not having a girlfriend, well i'm not trying to focus on that, i think that time will tell, but sometimes being lonely and not having someone to have a good time or to talk besides my friends makes me thing about. In my past crushes i had a bad luck (thanks to my insecurity i guess) or even making mistakes or things that i wish i didn't say in that time .
> 
> And right now i'm choosing my classes for next semester, and because i failed my Programming course, so i couldn't get enough points for my next classes of the semester and in some groups i was taken out because of that . So i hope my tutor can give me those courses without making a bad schedule.
> 
> Sorry if i made any speelling errors.



I have had and am in similar situations. With school, i guess I've been lucky to be able to get A's while not putting forth any deal of effort (I'm that asshole who doesn't pay attention, do any work, but gets a 100 on every test that everyone hates)
Was in a similar situation with skateboarding but since my skating buddies parted ways to different highschools then me I just dropped it. 
I have 0 motivation to really put effort into anything but for some reason I always pick up my guitar and noodle, etc, learn a new riff, whatever. Music seems to flow through me and no matter if I'm running a 400m dash, taking a test, skating, etc, I always have some sort of musical rhythm in my head or tapping with my fingers whatever. Even though I've come so far in only 4 years of playing guitar I lack in a lot of areas because I'm not motivated to practice certain finger movements etc. I literally just noodle and learn crazy riffs I love (this has made me really advanced in some areas but I lack in others)
Had a girlfriend. Broke up. Most depressing month of my life. Got over it. Moved on. Tons of girls text me and snapchat me but I don't even reply. Not motivated to talk with them and I don't want to just hook up & not talk to you again. Accepted that I'll be forever alone because of my obscure tastes and personality. Gets depressing sometimes but I always get over it.
F school, girls, skateboarding and track(could win state for 400m senior year but I'm not motivated to put in the work[again, I'm that naturally talented who can be great and go places but doesn't care enough]) I'm also super submissive which has lead me to be bi except I don't like dicks lol and other naked dudes is gross af. Idek  anyway i can go on. I'm a stubborn useless dumbass


----------



## broj15

Why can't life just be normal and uncomplicated for any measurable amount of time? Just when things are starting to look up it gets completely fvcked in a single moment. Been drinking more often than I know I should to try and take my mind off it. I know it's not healthy, but living with the stress isn't either. The pain in my lower back isn't getting any better and I've been tempted to go to the doctor to try and get some pain meds even though I know I'll abuse the sh_i_t out of them, which is the last thing I need right now. C'est la vie...


----------



## AxeHappy

I feel like properly done squats and deadlifts are pretty much the best/only real cure for lower back pain that hasn't been caused by some sort of traumatic accident. Worth trying. Worst comes to worst you will just get ripped. 

Unless it was caused by some sort of traumatic accident in which case, I will just see myself out.


----------



## Fat-Elf

This is the first time in my life I'm broke. Like really broke. I literally have like three fiddy in my wallet. I would take any crappy job I could to get more money but there is literally nothing available at the moment. I'm afraid that I have to sell one of my guitars to even pay the phone bill.


----------



## Alex Kenivel

My doctor forgot to call me and tell me that after that after taking a test, I have severe sleep apnea. Thanks doc


----------



## asher

Last eight months have been a super slow medical drag, I feel you dude. Apnea and all.

On the upside, CPAP is pretty damn effective for most forms.


----------



## Alex Kenivel

You have apnea too?


----------



## asher

Obstructive, yeah. Diagnosed after an in-patient sleep study in August. Started using a CPAP at night a few weeks later. I still don't sleep great (it's usually OK), but I'm not constantly a zombie like I had been.


----------



## Black43

A girl who I've been good friends with since I was a little kid tried to kill herself with pills. She's been through some terrible things and I guess it all came back to bite her and... yeah. Her parents found her last Sunday. She's currently on life support in Royal Northshore, while unconscious she managed to vomit and aspirate it into her lungs, her brain was oxygen-starved for only a few minutes but it was long enough for her brain to be damaged. The hospital is still running tests but I don't think she's going to make it, they're trying to reassure all of us with the standard "we're doing all we can" bull.... but she's not improving, or even responding.

I broke down in the car on the drive back, guys. Seeing someone so full of life and joy reduced to a frail, immobile _thing_ nearly killed me. It was so much worse than I could have ever imagined. She helped me through so much. And I wasn't able to return the favour.

What do I do, guys?


----------



## Tech Wrath

Black43 said:


> A girl who I've been good friends with since I was a little kid tried to kill herself with pills. She's been through some terrible things and I guess it all came back to bite her and... yeah. Her parents found her last Sunday. She's currently on life support in Royal Northshore, while unconscious she managed to vomit and aspirate it into her lungs, her brain was oxygen-starved for only a few minutes but it was long enough for her brain to be damaged. The hospital is still running tests but I don't think she's going to make it, they're trying to reassure all of us with the standard "we're doing all we can" bull.... but she's not improving, or even responding.
> 
> I broke down in the car on the drive back, guys. Seeing someone so full of life and joy reduced to a frail, immobile _thing_ nearly killed me. It was so much worse than I could have ever imagined. She helped me through so much. And I wasn't able to return the favour.
> 
> What do I do, guys?



Pull through it. Endure


----------



## High Plains Drifter

Black43 said:


> A girl who I've been good friends with since I was a little kid tried to kill herself with pills. She's been through some terrible things and I guess it all came back to bite her and... yeah. Her parents found her last Sunday. She's currently on life support in Royal Northshore, while unconscious she managed to vomit and aspirate it into her lungs, her brain was oxygen-starved for only a few minutes but it was long enough for her brain to be damaged. The hospital is still running tests but I don't think she's going to make it, they're trying to reassure all of us with the standard "we're doing all we can" bull.... but she's not improving, or even responding.
> 
> I broke down in the car on the drive back, guys. Seeing someone so full of life and joy reduced to a frail, immobile _thing_ nearly killed me. It was so much worse than I could have ever imagined. She helped me through so much. And I wasn't able to return the favour.
> 
> What do I do, guys?



Man... I'm so so sorry to hear this. 

You cannot do anything outside of reaching out for support. These situations can really make us beat ourselves up. But you can't do that and she does not wish for you to... no matter her condition or prognosis. 

Cry, pray, be angry, be confused... but you need and DESERVE some support here. You're hurting. Depending on how things go for her you can certainly do some things to make yourself and to make her friends/ family feel better. Share with them and lean on them and allow them to lean on you. Continue thinking about the ways that she positively affected your life, made you laugh, etc. 

If in the end she does not pull through, please know that there are many ways to honor her and to memorialize her life. Don't look at that kind of thing right now though. For now, just concentrate on the good things about her and how her life impacted yours. Above all else... Keep communicating with others and don't bottle it up. Again... You deserve that and that is what would most make her happy right now. 

You are in my thoughts. Take care.


----------



## broj15

AxeHappy said:


> I feel like properly done squats and deadlifts are pretty much the best/only real cure for lower back pain that hasn't been caused by some sort of traumatic accident. Worth trying. Worst comes to worst you will just get ripped.
> 
> Unless it was caused by some sort of traumatic accident in which case, I will just see myself out.



Honestly, I'm pretty sure it's caused by a combination of stress and being on my feet all day (I work retail so sitting down at work is a rare occurrence). I have a bad unconscious habit of tensing certain muscles when I get stressed out and it's always worse when I've been under a lot of pressure or had a bad day... two things that have been happening a lot lately. Thanks for the advice though. I'll definitely give it a shot. I don't want to get ripped though. It sounds stupid, but I used to be a pretty big guy (220lbs at 5'11") and have managed to stay at 140lbs for the past couple year's now (I still look in the mirror and think "I could be thinner"... fvck body image issues ...)


----------



## Black43

Tech Wrath said:


> Pull through it. Endure





High Plains Drifter said:


> Man... I'm so so sorry to hear this.
> 
> You cannot do anything outside of reaching out for support. These situations can really make us beat ourselves up. But you can't do that and she does not wish for you to... no matter her condition or prognosis.
> 
> Cry, pray, be angry, be confused... but you need and DESERVE some support here. You're hurting. Depending on how things go for her you can certainly do some things to make yourself and to make her friends/ family feel better. Share with them and lean on them and allow them to lean on you. Continue thinking about the ways that she positively affected your life, made you laugh, etc.
> 
> If in the end she does not pull through, please know that there are many ways to honor her and to memorialize her life. Don't look at that kind of thing right now though. For now, just concentrate on the good things about her and how her life impacted yours. Above all else... Keep communicating with others and don't bottle it up. Again... You deserve that and that is what would most make her happy right now.
> 
> You are in my thoughts. Take care.



Thanks guys, it really means a lot, it really does.

I went to check on her again today. Nothing's changed, so that's not bad... but not really good either. I'm probably going to be offline on SSO and social media and bit for a while, I need some time to gather my thoughts. I just really hope she comes out of this even a little bit okay.

Thanks again, all. It really helped.


----------



## BrailleDecibel

More support and positive vibes coming your way from Idaho...I was feeling bummed about some trivial stuff when I opened this thread to post, but reading your post kinda put things into perspective for me. No matter how this turns out, your SS.O brothers and sisters are here for ya.


----------



## AxeHappy

Really cute girl on the bus that I'm developing feelings for dropped some heavy handed hints that is down to ..... 

Unfortunately, I am in a relationship that has lasted for over 2 years. The last time I was tempted (I have never) to cheat on a relationship I ended up dating the woman who tempted me for 2 years. 

I don't much like feeling this way. Also, seriously, where the .... are these women when I'm single?


----------



## BrailleDecibel

^^ I feel you there, man, I've been in similar situations before, and it's pretty frustrating indeed. 


I'm sad because a girl I have a huge thing for now has a boyfriend...oh well, there's other fish in the sea, it's always darkest before the dawn, and all that other yabba-jabba that perpetually single people like me have to say to try and be happy. Maybe one day if I say it enough I will actually believe it.


----------



## ThePIGI King

I was going to play basketball today, had just picked up a friend of mine, and when I was at a stop, waiting to turn left, a golden retriever puppy (not super young, but still) got destroyed by a car going 60 :'( My friend and I jumped out of the car but there was nothing we could do...It was bleeding everywhere, probably a punctured lung. I saw a living, beautiful, young creature gurgle it's own blood and die, again.

I know death is a common thing, but the death of the innocent is extremely terrible. It was just a puppy loving it's life


----------



## AxeHappy

Ugh, I once saw a cat get *just* tagged on it's head. It was...a decidedly unpleasant...thing to witness.


----------



## broj15

not sure if this should go in the mad/sad thread but just a quick PSA: if you have a weak stomach FVCK the thai curry wings at Buffalo Wild Wings... That is all...

Also, while rabbit is delicious, if you have a sadistic redneck "friend" please let them know that a pipe wrench to the head is not an acceptable way to put one out of it's "misery"


----------



## AxeHappy

Well...if one is in a surviva situation, lost in the woods or some such thing, whacking a rabbit solidly on the back of the head actually is the best way to kill it. 

However, make sure you hit it really hard. Otherwise it's eyes will just pop out and it will cry. And it will sounds exactly like a human baby. 


(Source: I was a cadet and we did training on this kind of ..... I went to the band camps instead of the survialist ones.)


----------



## tacotiklah

I've been sick for like a week now, and can't seem to get better. First it was just sniffles. Then sneezing, fever, and some allergies to my cat (which tells me my immune system is shot because I've gotten over my cat allergies years ago). Now it feels like a giant sumo wrestler is sitting on my chest and it's hard to breathe normally. I wheeze whenever I get up to move around and even cough medicine only does so much. 

Add to that the fact that this last August the aunt I lived with passed away and now it looks like her sister is going to pass away soon. She has an inoperable antibiotic-resistant bacterial condition that is causing her constant strokes in her brain and is now on hospice care.
So she's expected to go any time soon. I've known her for years and she's a wonderful person, so I'm pretty bummed about it. Being this sick makes things so much worse because I'm too sick to get up and go see her, and it makes it very difficult to comfort my cousin who lost her mom and is now losing her aunt all in the span of 6 months. This situation sucks really hard for sure.


----------



## AxeHappy

*power hug*


----------



## Mprinsje

Grandfather died this morning. He was 89 years old.


----------



## tacotiklah

Well my aunt has passed away. That makes two in six months. Can death please take a vacation and stop following me and my loved ones around please? :'(


----------



## asher




----------



## Blytheryn

My mom facebooked me yesterday and said she was on her way to the hospital, because she had been feeling drowsy/weird and felt like her fingers weren't quite responding during the day. She's been at the hospital since then and they've run some tests on her, but now they are moving her from the cardio wing to the stroke wing... She told me today that she was feeling fine but I'm spooked. They will be doing more tests on her tonight. Crossing my fingers.


----------



## Slunk Dragon

Me and my girlfriend are coming up on five years in April.

We've been arguing and fighting, we still live 100 miles apart, and every day that goes by, I hate the world more and more. Nothing feels right, even music is feeling boring. I feel like my life is falling apart, and I'm just lashing out at everything.

I don't know what to do, I feel exhausted, and I feel like living with her is never going to ....ing happen.


----------



## ThePhilosopher

We lost our dark sable today, she had a scan and injection for adrenal disease (fairly common in ferrets) 10 days ago and was fine. Monday she crashed, and my wife took her back to the vet. She got additional medicine, fluids (for slight dehydration), and some instructions for care. Tuesday, we had her blood panel done and it was not good - RBC, HGB, WBC were all low. 

She kept putting up a fight for us and we thought she might pull through: eating and drinking on her own, going to the litter box, be active and alert when we were around. She stopped all of that last night and started having a hard time breathing. Her heart rate was in the 100-150 range (normal is 180-250).


----------



## High Plains Drifter

Blytheryn said:


> My mom facebooked me yesterday and said she was on her way to the hospital, because she had been feeling drowsy/weird and felt like her fingers weren't quite responding during the day. She's been at the hospital since then and they've run some tests on her, but now they are moving her from the cardio wing to the stroke wing... She told me today that she was feeling fine but I'm spooked. They will be doing more tests on her tonight. Crossing my fingers.



Any update on her condition? 



Slunk Dragon said:


> Me and my girlfriend are coming up on five years in April.
> 
> We've been arguing and fighting, we still live 100 miles apart, and every day that goes by, I hate the world more and more. Nothing feels right, even music is feeling boring. I feel like my life is falling apart, and I'm just lashing out at everything.
> 
> I don't know what to do, I feel exhausted, and I feel like living with her is never going to ....ing happen.



I can only say that I completely empathize. I hope that something turns around for you. Just sucks to keep slipping like this. Just sucks that you're going thru such misery and disdain. 



ThePhilosopher said:


> We lost our dark sable today, she had a scan and injection for adrenal disease (fairly common in ferrets) 10 days ago and was fine. Monday she crashed, and my wife took her back to the vet. She got additional medicine, fluids (for slight dehydration), and some instructions for care. Tuesday, we had her blood panel done and it was not good - RBC, HGB, WBC were all low.
> 
> She kept putting up a fight for us and we thought she might pull through: eating and drinking on her own, going to the litter box, be active and alert when we were around. She stopped all of that last night and started having a hard time breathing. Her heart rate was in the 100-150 range (normal is 180-250).



So very sorry for your loss. She was obviously very much loved and well cared for. I feel that she was fortunate to have found you. No matter the length of her life, I know that it was a happy one. Condolences, man.


----------



## TedEH

Not having a great day today. I typed up a really long post (1100 words-ish) and realized that was ridiculous and probably inappropriate. The short version of it: Kinda heartbroken, kinda depressed, kinda don't feel like there's a place for me in the world right now. But writing it down has made me feel a bit better about it, so that's something.


----------



## Skyblue

Came back from a 3 months vacation in New Zealand, met some of my friends since I got back... And every time it was nice for like 10 minutes after which I just wanted to go back home. I Don't hate them or anything like that, but I just felt like I don't want to spend more time with them. It's like their flaws were suddenly really obvious and extra annoying in my eyes. 
It's a sh!tty feeling. I know some of these guys from high school, some of them I've spent 3 years of my army service with. I don't think they changed that much in 3 months, and I don't think that I have. So what happened? 
I don't know. It just puts me in a really awful place mentally. And It's always been hard for me to make friends anyway.


----------



## MFB

Looking at housing options for a year or so from now, but there's no such thing as a good rate when you've got 100K in debt and can only save about $4K a year at 25. That's not really a 'down payment' so much as a 'please pity me and let me start my life' payment.


----------



## watson503

I've lived in this neighborhood off and on for nearly thirty years now. Things have gotten somewhat better since we first moved here in the late 80s but the gang problem is still out of control. I myself was a big part of that problem years ago, I changed my life and left all of that behind but still ended-up in prison over something that had happened during those years, I still have the tattoos and memories of dead friends that remind me of all the pure .... I contributed to our society during that time.

So why am I sad? Well, there was a drive-by not a few blocks from here about six hours ago that took one kid's life and while walking the dog just now I watched one of my neighbors that isn't even 18 yet get into a car with several of his homeboys to go blast the first so-called rival they see and continue this cycle which is so ridiculous in the grand scheme of things and just never seems to end.


----------



## NicePants

MFB said:


> Looking at housing options for a year or so from now, but there's no such thing as a good rate when you've got 100K in debt and can only save about $4K a year at 25. That's not really a 'down payment' so much as a 'please pity me and let me start my life' payment.



That's real rough man. I thought I had it bad with about 9k in debt. Hang in there.


----------



## MrBouleDeBowling

Things are getting akward with my girlfriend.


----------



## Arkeion

My office is at the end of a side road that leads off the main highway. There's a scrap yard to the right as soon as you turn off the highway that has a janky fence and its pretty grown up. It's a perfect place for cats and kittens to bed down and be sneaky.

Yesterday I was heading out for lunch and saw momma cat splattered at the beginning of the road next to the scrap yard fence line. When I turned back onto the road coming in from lunch, I saw 2 little pot bellied kittens sniffing the dead momma cat, but they quickly ran off. I got out of the truck, tried to catch them, but the roadside is so grown up/brushy that it was impossible before they were long gone under the fence.

Went out for lunch today, now there's a momma cat and 2 kittens splattered in the road. Sad day


----------



## Rosal76

Arkeion said:


> I got out of the truck, tried to catch them, but the roadside is so grown up/brushy that it was impossible before they were long gone under the fence.
> 
> Went out for lunch today, now there's a momma cat and 2 kittens splattered in the road. Sad day



Bless your heart for trying to save the kittens.  

There is an area close to my neighborhood where geese like to do the same thing. Cross the road for whatever reason they have. Most drivers slow down and/or let them cross but once in a while, I'll see a dead one on the road.


----------



## NicePants

It's just a nostalgic kind of day. I'm wondering if that's the lack of sleep talking.


----------



## AxeHappy

I was supposed to push my max on Overheads and Deadlift today. 4 hours of sleep last night. Nope.


----------



## flint757

I just got the boot on a project I've been working on for months at work. I understand why, but still bummed about it.


----------



## Alex Kenivel

I sneezed. I never just sneeze once. yesterday about 20 minutes from the end of a nice chill day at work, I sneeze just once and my right flank on my back freezes up. It was a miracle I drove myself and my son home. I can't breathe, I can't turn my neck too far in any direction, I can't clear my throat, I can't cough, I can't fart, I can't push to take a sh!t, I can't laugh, I can't play guitar, I can't hold my daughter, I can't take the weight off my left right side or pain will take over and lock up my arms, which makes me drop anything I'm holding. it's physically a chore to even be typing this right now. 

all I could do is sit here with an ice pack and watch guitar videos, waiting for my doctors appointment which I can hopefully drive myself to in my current self-medicated state with tons of pain. all I want to do is play guitar right now. It helps that there's no guitar in the room. I get very emotional when I don't play guitar for an extended period of time.


----------



## MrBouleDeBowling

I'm now single.

At least I can stop stressing about it and move on.


----------



## youngthrasher9

I had a dream that my friend who took his own life in January came back to life, and another where I met my dream woman. I woke up heartbroken.

If any of you ever contemplate suicide, please please please get some help. There's probably someone who loves you like I loved my friend, that you might not even expect.


Oh and ladies. I like BBQ, death metal, and chivalry. I cut meat for a living. I'm available.

I had to address both dreams separately some how.


----------



## awesomeaustin

youngthrasher9 said:


> I like BBQ, death metal, and chivalry. I cut meat for a living.



Based on this alone, I'd say you're a pretty cool guy. Good luck friend.


----------



## downburst82

Saw August Burns Red on saturday 

Cracked a rib in the pit  ( and I'm supposed to be jackhammering out a concrete pad for work tomorrow...) (oh ya and I have a Driving test on Tuesday...the pain shouldn't be an issue but its just extra stress/strain I could do without )


----------



## Emperor Guillotine

Not sure if I'm mad or sad or what. Had to give an important presentation today, and I didn't even get to finish it. I was cut off. I feel like by that happening, I either: 
A.) made myself look like an idiot who was unaware of his time constraints to the audience (I didn't ramble - I just didn't have enough time to adequately convey all that was required).
B.) left the audience hanging (which I hate doing).
This got me pretty upset for some reason. Not sure why. I sat in my car for fifteen minutes afterwards screaming obscenities and hitting my steering wheel. Finally got calm enough to drive home and almost got in a car wreck on the way. Oh, and broke my sunglasses on top of it all.  Even now as I type this, I'm still fairly upset about the presentation. I'm not looking forward to the rest of this week. I'll have to deal with the inevitable patronizing like "Oh, your speech was so engaging" to which my response will probably be something along the lines up: "shut the f*ck up".


----------



## downburst82

downburst82 said:


> Saw August Burns Red on saturday
> 
> Cracked a rib in the pit  ( and I'm supposed to be jackhammering out a concrete pad for work tomorrow...) (oh ya and I have a Driving test on Tuesday...the pain shouldn't be an issue but its just extra stress/strain I could do without )



Failed that driving test


----------



## SD83

One of my best friends (and almost-girlfriend until apparently depression hit her hard) just told me that when her sick cat is gone she will go as well. While I understand some of her reasoning (lots of .... happening to her in the past, chronic back ache, heart problems, mental problems, her almost-husband breaking up with her etc) to some point, I just fail to see how one can come to that conclusion. She refuses to seek professional help or take meds, and I have no idea how to deal with it. Granted, that point might be years in the future, might be months, but being prone to depression myself, I wonder if I am even able to stay at her side, even if she would want me to, without entirely losing control over my life in the process. If she got run over by a car or had a stroke or something, that would be bad enough, but suicide... always knowing you're talking to a person who sees no purpose whatsoever in life itself, and not just talking... I have no idea what to do. Hardly slept last night, got literally nothing done at all today and thought about it all the time...


----------



## flint757

Laws are going to be different depending on where you live, but where I live if someone poses an immediate threat to themselves or others (I'd argue admitting to definitively committing suicide qualifies) that you can have them temporarily committed to a mental health facility for evaluation. Not sure if that applies where you live, but if it does I'd seriously recommend it.


----------



## asher

downburst82 said:


> Failed that driving test



A lot of people fail their first go-around, at least here in the States. Not totally sure how it works in Canada.

What'd you get dinged/failed for?


----------



## SD83

flint757 said:


> Laws are going to be different depending on where you live, but where I live if someone poses an immediate threat to themselves or others (I'd argue admitting to definitively committing suicide qualifies) that you can have them temporarily committed to a mental health facility for evaluation. Not sure if that applies where you live, but if it does I'd seriously recommend it.



I'm aware of that and as far as I know the situation is the same here. And that's probably what I'm going to do when the situation gets worse. It might be years until than (she's made totally clear that she is not going to leave her cat behind, and while that has bad kidney problems, its in comparatively good health due to an extremely caring "mother" and only 9 years old) and with some massive changes (ie moving to a new home, probably starting to work regularly after years of not being able to) she might still change her mind. I know I'll probably try my best to do so. If she doesn't.. she might hate me for that, but I'd rather have her hate me than me mourn her.


----------



## High Plains Drifter

SD83 said:


> I'm aware of that and as far as I know the situation is the same here. And that's probably what I'm going to do when the situation gets worse. It might be years until than (she's made totally clear that she is not going to leave her cat behind, and while that has bad kidney problems, its in comparatively good health due to an extremely caring "mother" and only 9 years old) and with some massive changes (ie moving to a new home, probably starting to work regularly after years of not being able to) she might still change her mind. I know I'll probably try my best to do so. If she doesn't.. she might hate me for that, but I'd rather have her hate me than me mourn her.




Good on you. 

And as I'm sure you know, the situation with her cat has little to nothing to do with the bigger picture, which is that she very likely needs some degree of intervention... be that in the form of therapy, psychological evaluation, etc, etc. As beloved as a companion animal is, her statement is a genuinely apparent indicator of much more deeply rooted emotional/ mental issues. 

She's lucky to have someone like you that cares about her well-being... no matter what you decide may potentially be the best way to assist her.


----------



## russmuller

A friend I've known for 18 years died this morning, after 5 years of fighting cancer. He worked at my high school and really encouraged my pursuit of music. Especially in my teenage years, he was like a father to me. I consider his sons to be my brothers, and one of them was my singer in a few bands as well as my roommate for a while.

Even though we all knew it was coming, it's still hard to believe he's gone. I will miss his laugh and his sense of humor.


----------



## russmuller

Layoffs hit at work today. I'm safe, but about 30 people I know are now without a job.


----------



## Emperor Guillotine

I'm comparing myself to others again.

I know that such a mental behavior is poisonous, but I can't help but to do it. I see others all around me who are doing music stuff full-time or who are achieving some measure of success in music, and I'm just sitting here thinking to myself: that will never be me. I will never be able to do any of that because of my complete lack of support, the area where I live, the fact that I scrap everything that I write, and the fact that I can't write the music that I want to make right now. I know that it sounds like a ridiculous slew of excuses, but it's so difficult to overcome. I want to get better at guitar and at production and at audio engineering, but I'm stuck finishing up my last semester of college and then I'll be launched into the real world to find a "career". I am f*cking terrible and I genuinely want to become better, but I just don't have the time to focus on playing guitar, learning about production, or even learning about audio engineering. It's so draining. I feel like I have this clock that is ticking against me, and once that clock runs out, my window is gone. It already feels like it is shrinking and shrinking.

I feel so defeated.


----------



## RUSH_Of_Excitement

I came here to complain about not feeling prepared for my chemistry test on Monday, but reading some of the situations you guys are in, just makes it seem petty asf to complain about. My heart goes out to you guys, stay strong  thanks for the inspiration/ perspective.


----------



## NicePants

Emperor Guillotine said:


> I'm comparing myself to others again.
> 
> I know that such a mental behavior is poisonous, but I can't help but to do it. I see others all around me who are doing music stuff full-time or who are achieving some measure of success in music, and I'm just sitting here thinking to myself: that will never be me. I will never be able to do any of that because of my complete lack of support, the area where I live, the fact that I scrap everything that I write, and the fact that I can't write the music that I want to make right now. I know that it sounds like a ridiculous slew of excuses, but it's so difficult to overcome. I want to get better at guitar and at production and at audio engineering, but I'm stuck finishing up my last semester of college and then I'll be launched into the real world to find a "career". I am f*cking terrible and I genuinely want to become better, but I just don't have the time to focus on playing guitar, learning about production, or even learning about audio engineering. It's so draining. I feel like I have this clock that is ticking against me, and once that clock runs out, my window is gone. It already feels like it is shrinking and shrinking.
> 
> I feel so defeated.



I feel ya dude. I can't offer any advice since I can say I sometimes feel like I'm stuck in that same whirlpool, but I'm here right next to you.


----------



## Emperor Guillotine

NicePants said:


> I feel ya dude. I can't offer any advice since I can say I sometimes feel like I'm stuck in that same whirlpool, but I'm here right next to you.


Just got to tough it out, man.

Tonight, three of my favorite bands (like, all-time favorite bands) are on the same lineup performing at a venue that is three hours away. The show starts at 6:30-7:00PM, and with six bands total, I won't be leaving until well after midnight or 1AM. I want to go so badly but:
- all of my buddies who were supposed to go cancelled or I just didn't hear back from them (so I'll have no one to help keep me awake on the drive home)
- I have school and work tomorrow morning (so I will be tired as hell)
- I have to do some extra stuff to help cover another store at work today (last minute interference)

This time last year, I made the same drive three hours out for a show and drove home the same night. The 3-5AM drive back was BRUTAL though. (The person who went with me was asleep in the passenger seat.) Tired as hell and I probably should not have been driving. Told myself that I wouldn't do it again because it was that bad. So looking back, I'm probably making the right choice by not going to this show.

Really bummed out right now.  Like, REALLY bummed out. This was going to be one insane, emotional show.


----------



## asher

I was going to tell you to stuff it and go anyway!...

and then I saw the three hour drive. Sucks, but that's the right call man. Exhausted driving like that is just too dangerous.

There will be other shows.


----------



## Emperor Guillotine

asher said:


> I was going to tell you to stuff it and go anyway!...
> 
> and then I saw the three hour drive. Sucks, but that's the right call man. Exhausted driving like that is just too dangerous.
> 
> There will be other shows.


One of the bands isn't touring in the USA for the rest of the year after this short tour ends. Another one of the bands is hopping on a few dates for Warped Tour and going over to Europe and then that will be it for them. The third band that's a favorite of mine doesn't tour much.

You're right, there will be other shows. This particular lineup is just too perfect for me, so it is bumming me out. And I learned my lesson last time I did that long drive home in the wee hours. Once you start swerving, you ought to wise up and find a rest stop.


----------



## Emperor Guillotine

This is my last day on campus at my university. No more classes. No more exams. No more speeches or presentations. No more sitting in the library or getting food in between classes. No more socializing with other students who are my age. No more university life.

It just hit like a freight train. 

I'm really going to miss this place. School has always been a safe haven to me because it is all that I've ever known thus far in my life. The department for my major has become a sort of fun (if not challenging) second home to me filled with good people. I'll miss those familiar halls.

Four years of college flew by fast. Time to get ready for the professional world. Cue the impending breakdown.


----------



## Danukenator

Was asked to redo the statistical analysis in my thesis, effectively reshaping the entire discussion section and most of the results.

It's due in two days...


----------



## asher

Last band practice.

Funny how much easier to enjoy it is when I'm not mad stressed about a show (which is all of them).


----------



## blacai

I just sold 3 guitars last week...

When I started playing and buying I told myself not to sell any of them.

Double dangerous problem: more cash, more space at home...


----------



## BrailleDecibel

5 years of being single this year, with seemingly no end in sight. I know I shouldn't base my happiness on being with someone else, but being alone for this long is really starting to mess with me...it's starting to seem like it will just be this way forever.


----------



## Emperor Guillotine

BrailleDecibel said:


> 5 years of being single this year, with seemingly no end in sight. I know I shouldn't base my happiness on being with someone else, but being alone for this long is really starting to mess with me...it's starting to seem like it will just be this way forever.


I will never understand why human beings have this obsession that they HAVE TO be in a romantic relationship or that they HAVE TO have a partner. I, personally, have relied on myself for happiness thus far (ever since I discovered how) and haven't seriously dated or anything, (not even in high school or in college,) and I'm doing fine. Not lonely or anything. But I do keep myself busy.


----------



## TedEH

Emperor Guillotine said:


> I will never understand why human beings have this obsession that they HAVE TO be in a romantic relationship or that they HAVE TO have a partner. I, personally, have relied on myself for happiness thus far (ever since I discovered how) and haven't seriously dated or anything, (not even in high school or in college,) and I'm doing fine. Not lonely or anything. But I do keep myself busy.



I won't claim to know the answer to that, but I assume something about the way we're wired drives us to try to connect with people, and it means different things to different people or in certain contexts. For some people, that means with groups of people, with audiences, with friends, etc.. I know that personally I was doing really well with my independence for a while, finding ways to be happy without constantly having someone (or several people) around me all the time- then all it took was an outing or two (call em' dates if you want), and all that "working on myself" went out the window for a while.  Connecting with someone on almost any level triggers some kind of reward I guess, and like anything else, there's a drive to re-experience those high points.

I think a lot of time the social expectation is that people share their biggest life experiences (who you live with, marriage, kids, cars, etc) with one other person. We've tied romantic relationships with life accomplishments for some reason. Not married with kids and a house and a car and a dog etc etc? - then you've not accomplished much, according to some worldviews. It takes some living maybe to figure out that those things don't have to be connected.


----------



## asher

Different people have different reasons for being driven to seek it, some of which are completely internal.

I'm glad you've figured things out for yourself, but it's not usually so easy.


----------



## TedEH

^ You were probably directing that at Emperor Guillotine, but if not, I can definitely say that I haven't really figured much out.


----------



## High Plains Drifter

I see a good deal of older people that accept being "single" for lack of a better word. But I think that at any age it's all a matter of what ultimately brings peace of mind. I'd rather not be in a relationship than to be in a loveless or toxic one. And I genuinely believe that it's really all about what's in your heart. I've been in relationships where I felt horribly alone. Support of friends and/ or family is vital to our sanity at times. jmo


----------



## asher

TedEH said:


> ^ You were probably directing that at Emperor Guillotine, but if not, I can definitely say that I haven't really figured much out.



I was, when I'm on my phone I try to avoid quotes because it's a pain.


----------



## BrailleDecibel

I wouldn't say I'm obsessed with being in a relationship, as I've had a couple opportunities over the course of those five years that I didn't go for because it just wasn't the right situation...like High Plains Drifter said, it's much better to be alone than in a toxic, loveless, or just generally wrong-fit sort of relationship. 

It doesn't help that most of my friends have moved to different towns and I can't drive at the moment because I had a seizure less than a year ago, and I have to wait a full year before I can drive again, so I don't really have much of a way to get out and hang out with friends or even just go on a long drive to take my mind off of things. But in some good news, my seizure was on May 5th of last year, so provided that I don't have one in the next couple days, I should be good to get my licence back and all that fun stuff. 

TedEH brought up a good point as well, that being in a relationship has been tied to life accomplishments, and with my 30th birthday coming up in October, it's caused me to get a bit of that feeling like I haven't accomplished much, when in reality, I shouldn't be thinking that way.


----------



## blacai

BrailleDecibel said:


> I wouldn't say I'm obsessed with being in a relationship, as I've had a couple opportunities over the course of those five years that I didn't go for because it just wasn't the right situation...like High Plains Drifter said, it's much better to be alone than in a toxic, loveless, or just generally wrong-fit sort of relationship.
> 
> It doesn't help that most of my friends have moved to different towns and I can't drive at the moment because I had a seizure less than a year ago, and I have to wait a full year before I can drive again, so I don't really have much of a way to get out and hang out with friends or even just go on a long drive to take my mind off of things. But in some good news, my seizure was on May 5th of last year, so provided that I don't have one in the next couple days, I should be good to get my licence back and all that fun stuff.
> 
> TedEH brought up a good point as well, that being in a relationship has been tied to life accomplishments, and with my 30th birthday coming up in October, it's caused me to get a bit of that feeling like I haven't accomplished much, when in reality, I shouldn't be thinking that way.



I understand your point.
I moved 3 years ago to another country leaving gf and family(and my lovely dog...) and had to start from 0 with a new language also. No friends, no family close to me. It was(and still is) quite hard. Also I am 30(31 next week, gift guitars are welcome  ) and my brother bringing a baby into the world soon...

I had several relations but any of them lasted more than a few months. In the end I like being somehow alone and enjoying things I have never did before, but sometimes I feel the need of trying to meet someone and share those moments.

It is not a problem for me knowing girls and usually they found me interesting, or at least that seems to be. I have a good job, enough culture, I do sport... but I cannot go to other levels with them, I feel like I would lose too much, so I end choosing being alone and buying guitars


----------



## TedEH

BrailleDecibel said:


> TedEH brought up a good point as well, that being in a relationship has been tied to life accomplishments, and with my 30th birthday coming up in October, it's caused me to get a bit of that feeling like I haven't accomplished much, when in reality, I shouldn't be thinking that way.



I thought of it cause it's been a sticking point with family for the last few years. Last time I was in a long relationship, I got huge amounts of pressure from both families to have kids, get married, etc., and me being not ready for those things contributed a lot to things breaking down. More recently, there's been some strain with my parents cause I'm the last of my siblings who isn't married with kids yet- so visiting them for a while was just a bunch of awkward "so did you find someone yet?", "oh, you're seeing some friends, are any of them single ladies?" etc.

I know it's not on purpose- Relationship issues or goals are something that most people can relate to on some level. I can talk to people about what I've accomplished with work or with my bands, but a lot of friends and family just can't relate to any of that, so conversations just default to the kinds of accomplishments they can relate to. I'd guess that's a pretty common situation.


----------



## Emperor Guillotine

blacai said:


> [...] so I end up choosing being alone and buying guitars


Ain't nothing wrong with that.


----------



## Alex Kenivel

I get my son to watch the baby in the living room (while my wife's at a training) so I can hurry and clean the two bathrooms in the house. In my haste, I double take at the mirror I pass and notice two gray hairs in the front/top of my head just 4 months shy of my 30th birthday...


----------



## AxeHappy

I noticed my hair line starting to *really* thin out and disappear recentlyish. I'm only 30... *sigh*


----------



## Konfyouzd

All the things.


----------



## Demiurge

AxeHappy said:


> I noticed my hair line starting to *really* thin out and disappear recentlyish. I'm only 30... *sigh*



My typical haircut is very short, buzzed somewhat close like 1/4". Each time I get a haircut, I see a few stray hairs in front of the hairline, like a few wounded soldiers that haven't retreated with the rest of the army, and it's just... grim.


----------



## MFB

I've been balding since I was 21, so ever since then I've just been shaving my head down one number at a time until now I'm at a perpetual zero. It's great since no one can tell if my hair is thinning, or how bad I'm balding, it's just consistently down to my scalp while still having something there.


----------



## NicePants

Not having hair isn't all bad. Satch doesn't have any and he's a bamf.


----------



## flint757

MFB said:


> I've been balding since I was 21, so ever since then I've just been shaving my head down one number at a time until now I'm at a perpetual zero. It's great since no one can tell if my hair is thinning, or how bad I'm balding, it's just consistently down to my scalp while still having something there.



I've been thinning since around 19 or 20 at a noticeable rate at the crown. For a long time I just wore hats more frequently, but started shaving down to a 2 for the last year. Even then it takes some magic by the place I get my hair cut to blend the edges where you can't tell. I'm putting off the zero and cue ball look until it's impossible to hide. My scalp burns way too easily for me to go completely hairless.


----------



## MFB

flint757 said:


> I've been thinning since around 19 or 20 at a noticeable rate at the crown. For a long time I just wore hats more frequently, but started shaving down to a 2 for the last year. Even then it takes some magic by the place I get my hair cut to blend the edges where you can't tell. I'm putting off the zero and cue ball look until it's impossible to hide. My scalp burns way too easily for me to go completely hairless.



That's where mine started as well, except I traded off barber magic for DIY and saving the $20 every 2 weeks that I tend to shave it 

As for the burning, ...eh, it develops some toughness over time. Biggest issue is now that it's so exposed it gets dry, so I have to use lotion to keep it hydrated.


----------



## TedEH

The first person I saw this morning greeted me with "man, you look dead inside."
 ... but also


----------



## will_shred

TedEH said:


> The first person I saw this morning greeted me with "man, you look dead inside."
> ... but also



I can relate, but everyone just thinks I look tired luckily. Nope, not tired, just depressed af.


----------



## TedEH

^ He probably said it because I looked tired. Realistically though, there may have been some truth to his comment. I've been in a weird head-space lately. Lots of little things toying with my mood. Yesterday was definitely a "could use a hug" kind of a day by the end of it.


----------



## Emperor Guillotine

It sucks when you realize that your dreams will forever just be dreams and that you'll pass out of this life without the chance to see them come to fruition because there are boundaries/obstacles in life that you cannot smash through. Yet, you have to suck it up and keep on living in our world - acting like everything is normal and fine despite doing stuff that doesn't make you happy and isn't related to your dreams. It's at this point that I ask: why do all humans even have dreams and aspirations? Some achieve them, some don't, and some legitimately can't. And knowing that you're one of the last category is the true definition of pure torture.


----------



## asher

Saying goodbye.


----------



## CaptainD00M

Triggered yesterday, spent the whole day working to keep equilibrium to make a gig that made me feel so good and at peace with the world only to get triggered again today by the same person.


----------



## Demiurge

Emperor Guillotine said:


> It sucks when you realize that your dreams will forever just be dreams and that you'll pass out of this life without the chance to see them come to fruition because there are boundaries/obstacles in life that you cannot smash through. Yet, you have to suck it up and keep on living in our world - acting like everything is normal and fine despite doing stuff that doesn't make you happy and isn't related to your dreams. It's at this point that I ask: why do all humans even have dreams and aspirations? Some achieve them, some don't, and some legitimately can't. And knowing that you're one of the last category is the true definition of pure torture.



This is one that hits close to home. I always wonder if happier or more satisfied people reached this realization and somehow become at peace with it, don't dream at all, or never stop believing that they'll succeed. Of those possibilities, though, the last one- though perhaps self-deception- seems most palatable because it still inspires one to keep their legs moving and perhaps accomplish something unexpected. 

Attempting to wear the optimist hat, I think we all reach a point in our lives where we think we finally know who we are and furthermore believe what our trajectory will be, but as our best laid plans can fail, maybe our doubts about ourselves can be wrong as well.


----------



## CaptainD00M

Trauma Trigger day three. Holding back an anxiety attack for this long is not fun when you have deadlines.

What makes me sad is its been years since this has happened to this degree, and the confidence at doing basic stuff gets really shaken.


----------



## TedEH

Had some after-work plans, and they just bailed on me. Got nothin to do with the rest of the day.


----------



## Tyler

Got broken up with after almost 5 years because I struggled with depression last month, and shes moving on to a new guy already. Sucks beyond belief


----------



## russmuller

I helped my ex check herself into a behavioral health hospital Monday evening. I visited her last night and she was clearly in a worse state than when she checked in. Her eyes looked dead, her face expressionless; it was painful to see her in such a state, but even though she seemed more despondent I'm thankful that she hasn't felt suicidal and now she has a diagnosis that makes sense.


----------



## russmuller

Tyler said:


> Got broken up with after almost 5 years because I struggled with depression last month, and shes moving on to a new guy already. Sucks beyond belief



Dude, that seriously sucks.


----------



## PunkBillCarson

In a couple of days, my wife is leaving for Iowa for a week and I have mixed emotions about it. On one hand, it's nice to have some me time but on the other, I feel this dread coming because with the exception of my pets, this house is going to feel so empty and honestly, empty is the only way to explain how I'm feeling at the moment knowing that it's coming. Yes it's for a week and we've been together 7 years, but I think her going away for a week is serving a healthy reminder of just how much I do love her. It hurts like hell knowing that I'm going to do without her. This does seem silly to some of you, I imagine, but for me, even a day away from her are among the longest days of my life. I'm just not sure how to handle this.


----------



## High Plains Drifter

PunkBillCarson said:


> In a couple of days, my wife is leaving for Iowa for a week and I have mixed emotions about it. On one hand, it's nice to have some me time but on the other, I feel this dread coming because with the exception of my pets, this house is going to feel so empty and honestly, empty is the only way to explain how I'm feeling at the moment knowing that it's coming. Yes it's for a week and we've been together 7 years, but I think her going away for a week is serving a healthy reminder of just how much I do love her. It hurts like hell knowing that I'm going to do without her. This does seem silly to some of you, I imagine, but for me, even a day away from her are among the longest days of my life. I'm just not sure how to handle this.



Count your "blessings" so to speak. If y'all have a fairly healthy relationship then this should be able to be managed quite positively. The physical aspect of loneliness is not what's most important, as we all know. Having her in your heart is much more essential. As long as you both miss each other and value what you mean to each other, then you are truly fortunate. 

Would be really cool... like if there is something that she's talked about wanting or something that you know that she would think was super thoughtful... for you to take on a little project that expresses to her what she means to you... maybe changing up a room, maybe going on a serious cleaning spree, maybe just writing down some romantic thoughts in a card, getting a cool plant and putting it into a pot that you think she'd like, etc, etc. Maybe do some things for yourself too... things that you wouldn't normally do. 

Point is... Spend the time away from her, in a productive and positive way. If you both sincerely love each other, then there's no reason that you shouldn't be able to do some things that will only strengthen your relationship when all's said and done.

Anyway... no doubt you've considered all these kinds of things. Take care, man.


----------



## Legion

Because chronic existential crises, crippling loneliness, debilitating isolation, being single for over a decade, and graduate school type depression.


----------



## Mprinsje

i just called my grandmother to congratulate her with her birthday, she asked me where i lived 3 times in 5 minutes.

Sad to see someone deteriorate this like this man


----------



## BrailleDecibel

Just realized today that my old band Final Uprising played our Battle of the Bands show, in which we won first place, two years ago. It was one of the most fun shows I've ever played, so that's nothing to be sad about, but I haven't been in an active band since then, and I miss playing shows and having that interaction with the crowd and just being onstage...there's no feeling in the world like it.


----------



## Skyblue

That moment where it's friday night and you send a message in your group's WhatsApp chat asking is anyone's up for something, and only one guy even bothers resposnding, and then disappears as well. 
Hell, I wouldn't mind having a quite night by myself, but I'd appreciate a life signal, something.


----------



## BucketheadRules

Caroline Aherne's died.


----------



## TedEH

I think this is the third weekend in a row where everyone I try to make plans with bails on me after I wait a significant part of the day for them. Whats the point of being "connected" to so many people online, when none of them want to have anything to do with you in person?


----------



## Black43

I managed to rear end someone and total my car. Everyone was fine, but I loved that car. Oh well.


----------



## downburst82

Messed my back up again . This year has been brutal for me with injury and illness. I count my blessings thats nothing has been truly serious (as in life threatening) but its been one thing after another thats kept me from being able to accomplish the things I need to. We have our third child on the way and ive been trying to get ahead financially by working hard and so far this year ive cracked ribs, messed my back up 3 times and catch every cold or flu that seems to go around. I'm self employed as a handlyman so no sick pay or disability/workmans comp etc. Its starting to look like I may have to find a new line of work because of my repeated back issues and it sucks because I was finally starting to do ok with the handyman stuff with a good amount of regular clients and my hourly rate at a level that allowed be to properly provide for my family....I just dont really know what to do now at this point.


----------



## sawtoothscream

Have some health issue and most likely won't be going to see fall of Troy next weekend due to it. 

Going to get a ultrasound next week if it doesn't get better over the weekend and get another check up. 

Been a .... year for me

1)amp dead,. Need to fix it soon
2). Muzzleloader broke and will have to try and fix.
3) car dead last week and I had to buy a new one
4) can't buy dirt bike now due to the car
5) health issue for the last 3 weeks

Worst of all, my dog I had for 15 year died in my arms last month. Had a bad seizure and went blind and a few minutes after went into another and I think had a heart attack. Still doesn't feel real as he has just been around so long, was a part of the house and it hard to break the habits.

So hopefully things turn around , most of these things will just take money to solve and are hindsight to my pup and my health concerns. 

I know others have it worse for sure so most of these seem petty


----------



## jacksonguitar1111

wanted to save money - bought a new guitar :/


----------



## MrBouleDeBowling

I miss my ex so much. It's been a while and I was definitively getting better, but for the last 3 weeks, cutting down on booze has brought up emotions I tried to drown all this time.


----------



## TheStig1214

The girl I was dating moved to another state. Granted, I only knew her a month and I knew she was moving when we started dating, so nothing about it was serious. But it was the first time I'd even kissed a girl since my last ex 3 1/2 years ago. We really connected and it just sucks because it's easy to be single and lonely when you're calloused for so long, but the second someone cracks that and you're back to being alone it just makes you realize how much you're missing out on. 

Also, I haven't been behind the wheel of my car for over a week now, engine threw a rod and I'm getting the motor replaced. Won't see her for another week.


----------



## Emperor Guillotine

Selling my gear and quitting is hard to do.


----------



## Origin

I can't find my cigarettes.


----------



## cheosamad21

Not really sad, just compromising. My girlfriend left on vacation with her family but her dad had to stay behind for the weekend while they're all gone. I was supposed to go see periphery tonight which is by far my favorite band, but I can't just leave him there by himself, especially after he texted their family and said he was excited to spend time with me. Gonna bite the bullet and hopefully improve his weekend by spending it over there.

He is a very cool dude, and I'm happy to spend time with him, just a bit of a sting to have already gotten tickets to see Periphery and they've gone to waste. Next year hopefully


----------



## High Plains Drifter

cheosamad21 said:


> Not really sad, just compromising. My girlfriend left on vacation with her family but her dad had to stay behind for the weekend while they're all gone. I was supposed to go see periphery tonight which is by far my favorite band, but I can't just leave him there by himself, especially after he texted their family and said he was excited to spend time with me. Gonna bite the bullet and hopefully improve his weekend by spending it over there.
> 
> He is a very cool dude, and I'm happy to spend time with him, just a bit of a sting to have already gotten tickets to see Periphery and they've gone to waste. Next year hopefully



But SUCH a great move on your part. I think that the decision you've made will be a great thing in many ways and not just for you and not even just for him. You're showing that family that you have character, humanity, etc. Good on you for doing [what I would say is] the right thing. 

Karma, brotha... it's gonna come back to you. Cheers!


----------



## cheosamad21

High Plains Drifter said:


> But SUCH a great move on your part. I think that the decision you've made will be a great thing in many ways and not just for you and not even just for him. You're showing that family that you have character, humanity, etc. Good on you for doing [what I would say is] the right thing.
> 
> Karma, brotha... it's gonna come back to you. Cheers!



Yeah, it's probably the better move all around. I'm injured anyway so who knows, maybe if I went to the show my injury would get worse by getting hit or something. We'll order some chicken and watch TV. Plus us getting to know each other better without being around other people will be healthy for us anyway.


----------



## Demiurge

Good move. To put it another way- and no pressure intended- girlfriend-parents can always be potential in-laws, and having the in-laws like you is _just so much easier_ in the long-run.


----------



## CircuitalPlacidity

I am sad cause I've been watching a guitar for weeks on eBay. I finally had the money to buy it and went to move it from my savings to checking account for purchase. Did that and then immediately went to the page to buy and someone snagged ot like 2 minutes before me.


----------



## SD83

Been trying to get the numbers right for weeks, got no sleep for night after night, and I think I finally came to the conclussion that my buisness plan is just not going to work out. A good deal of money, time and efford wasted, I could easily have had an acceptable job by now and now it looks like everything will be canceled before it even started. I was hoping this would be the chance to start something, be independend, but whatever way I try, there is no ....ing way to make a living of what is supposed to be payed unless you employ lots and lots of people to begin with or have the money to survive for a bunch of months of no income at all. Negative income. I'm rather devastated.


----------



## Dodeejeroo

4 day weekend ends tomorrow and Fall semester starts in a week


----------



## Necris

Textbook prices. Granted, this semester was downright cheap compared to others but still, ouch.


----------



## Alberto7

After 4 years of living with her, my sister has graduated university and is moving back home to my parents' while she finds a job, and I'm super bummed out about it. We always got along as kids and teenagers, but over the last 4 years we've really cultivated our relationship as siblings and she has become one of my best friends, on top of being family.

I tried to buy plane tickets to go back home and visit my family on Friday, and also so I could attend my little sister's high school graduation, (not so little anymore) but the decision of going there was made last minute, and plane tickets are already in the thousands of dollars in such short notice. I can't afford to pay that much money to go see them for just a few days, as I begin university soon.

So, my sister's moving out, I can't be there for my little sister's graduation, and I won't be able to see my family for at least another 4 months.   I consider myself extremely lucky and I am forever thankful for being blessed with such a wonderful family, so whenever I miss a chance to see them (especially during important events) I get bummed out.

Oh well, there'll be a next time...


----------



## BrailleDecibel

The one girl I had any chance of being with is moving to Ohio in two days, and I don't get to say goodbye to her in person. Living in Idaho sucks.


----------



## AmoryB

Just got the news that one of the most important musicians in my life has passed away. His name is Juan Gabriel, might not be a familiar name on here but he was a legend in my parents country. His songs were beautiful, the emotions that he would invoke were to me the very essence of music. One song in particular is dedicated to his mother, and all the mothers through out the world as well as those that have passed. Not many men in that country can listen to that song without fighting back tears. He will be missed so much, by myself and countless others throughout the world. RIP Juan Gabriel 1950-2015


----------



## Pweaks

Teddy Bridgewater, the qb of my favorite team, the Minnesota Vikings, apparently dislocated his knee and most likely misses the upcoming season. Teddy has shown some real potential in the few pre-season games. Oh well, maybe next season then.


----------



## Protestheriphery

For the last month, my left shoulder has been problematic and hindered me from playing guitar/ working out. Now both shoulders are screwed up, and its impacting my job performance as well. Im uncertain what the end of this month will bring me.


----------



## BrailleDecibel

Made the disastrously awful choice of talking to my ex yesterday to try and get some kind of a sense of closure...I was hoping it would make me feel better, but it seems to have had the exact opposite effect. Between that and recently turning 30 and looking at where my life is compared to those of pretty much everyone I know, it all really has me down. I feel like a complete failure in life who is destined to spend the rest of it alone, and so far, I'm seeing no real evidence to the contrary.


----------



## AxeHappy

Closure is a myth and a lie. Life happens. Don't try and rationalise the past, just aim to make the future what you want it to be.


----------



## BrailleDecibel

AxeHappy said:


> Closure is a myth and a lie. Life happens. Don't try and rationalise the past, just aim to make the future what you want it to be.



That is definitely the plan from here on out...now that I know where I stand with her, it's time to close that book, bury it, and salt the earth so nothing ever grows there again.


----------



## BrailleDecibel

My cat Nermal passed away yesterday after 14 happy years with us. He was such an awesome cat, and always loved passing out on my guitars when he wasn't out chasing down critters in the field by my house or chowing down on some Friskies. If you guys could send some positive vibes my way, I could sure use them right now.


----------



## Ebony

BrailleDecibel said:


> If you guys could send some positive vibes my way, I could sure use them right now.



As a fellow cat-devotee, you have my sympathies.


----------



## High Plains Drifter

BrailleDecibel said:


> My cat Nermal passed away yesterday after 14 happy years with us. He was such an awesome cat, and always loved passing out on my guitars when he wasn't out chasing down critters in the field by my house or chowing down on some Friskies. If you guys could send some positive vibes my way, I could sure use them right now.



Man... damn. I'm so sorry for your loss. Those aren't just words and I'm not posting my condolences or support because you asked. I understand just how devastating this feels. Losing my Corgi to lymphomic cancer caused me a tremendous amount of emotional upset several years ago. People say "Well at least he/ she lived a long life" which despite that fact, makes it no easier on your heart. My only solace comes from knowing that the life that they led... no matter how much time on this Earth they were given, was a mostly happy and peaceful one. That certainly doesn't help someone to immediately feel better, but it does at least make grieving a bit more manageable in the long term. 

No need for me to keep typing but again, man... I'm sincerely sorry. I know from reading some of what you've posted, that this hasn't been the best year in certain regards. I really do hope that things get better and that some good things come your way. Don't forget to count your blessings too. I've lived a fairly rough life and there have been plenty of times that all I could do was just try to appreciate the very few positives that were around me... just in order to not get completely dragged down. You know what I mean. 

Virtual support/ hugs sent your way.


----------



## BrailleDecibel

Ebony said:


> As a fellow cat-devotee, you have my sympathies.







High Plains Drifter said:


> Man... damn. I'm so sorry for your loss. Those aren't just words and I'm not posting my condolences or support because you asked. I understand just how devastating this feels. Losing my Corgi to lymphomic cancer caused me a tremendous amount of emotional upset several years ago. People say "Well at least he/ she lived a long life" which despite that fact, makes it no easier on your heart. My only solace comes from knowing that the life that they led... no matter how much time on this Earth they were given, was a mostly happy and peaceful one. That certainly doesn't help someone to immediately feel better, but it does at least make grieving a bit more manageable in the long term.
> 
> No need for me to keep typing but again, man... I'm sincerely sorry. I know from reading some of what you've posted, that this hasn't been the best year in certain regards. I really do hope that things get better and that some good things come your way. Don't forget to count your blessings too. I've lived a fairly rough life and there have been plenty of times that all I could do was just try to appreciate the very few positives that were around me... just in order to not get completely dragged down. You know what I mean.
> 
> Virtual support/ hugs sent your way.



Thank you guys, and anyone who happens to post after them, as these words mean a lot right now. Nermal definitely had a happy life, and it's the happy times I choose to keep with me in my heart. The cute little kitty grin you see in that picture was pretty much always on his face, and he knew he was loved right up until the end, and loved in return every bit as much, if not more.

HPD, you are absolutely right, in some respects, it's been a pretty bad year for me, but not as bad as some, and things are beginning to look up...I'm gonna be moving here in the next couple months to a bigger city, getting a new band going, and getting some treatment for some anxiety/depression issues I've been having, so things are indeed getting better. Hope things only do the same for you as well, man.


----------



## youngthrasher9

My best friends mom (who was like another mom to me) passed away very unexpectedly last night. 


Aghhh


----------



## flint757

My dog died today all alone in our backyard. Not sure when it happened, but I didn't get to him until the evening and can't get him to the vet until tomorrow. Cleaning and wrapping his body is probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do. He lasted 12 months though after he was diagnosed with congestive heart failure. This year has been really hard on him and all of us. It was his time. I just wish it had happened when he was with everyone. It kills me inside to know that he died all alone. I thought I was prepared for it since I thought he was dying last November, but I just can't stop crying. Died 13 years and 11 months old. RIP.



Steven_Duey by Steven Puckitt, on Flickr



2005_Duey by Steven Puckitt, on Flickr


----------



## High Plains Drifter

dammit... so so sorry, man. ^


----------



## flint757

High Plains Drifter said:


> dammit... so so sorry, man. ^



Appreciate it. I'm working my way through the grieving process. I honestly didn't want to believe it at first. He's been the one constant in my life and fiercely loyal as well. He was one of a kind. He was in a lot of pain though and his back legs pretty much stopped cooperating with him these last couple of months. It was his time. I just hate that he had to go through it alone.


----------



## High Plains Drifter

I so much understand... had two of my companions go out like that... wasn't there with them when they passed. But I guess what matters more is the quality of life that they had... That's my only consolation. From the looks of it, your bud had a lot of love and happiness in his life. Just really sorry for your loss... big hug, man.


----------



## Blytheryn

My condolences, Flint... Sucks


----------



## watson503

My deepest condolences, man. Really sorry to hear of your loss.


----------



## Gravy Train

I'm so sorry man, my condolences. We lost 2 of our boys this year, but I know they are all together up in Dog Heaven.


----------



## BrailleDecibel

My condolences as well, flint...as you've read, I just went through the same thing for the most part, and I also wasn't home when Nermal passed on. That part is so hard for me, even still. It seems like your dog had a happy life, though, and that's what's important in the end. I'm sure cats and dogs get along in animal Heaven, perhaps your dog is kickin' it with Nermal somewhere out there.


----------



## DC23

Flint, I am so sorry for your loss. Try not to blame yourself. Dogs are so resilient and I'd like to think they know they are loved, even when you're not present. He had a long life, and maybe it was just his time to go. Some dogs never get a home and are shamefully put down. He was a lucky one who had a family that cared deeply for him. Even your actions after his passing shows that love and compassion is still there for him. I know it's hard but I guess it's important to remember the good times, and honour his memory by remembering what a joyful part of your life he was for those years, that's a real gift (for both dogs and owners!).

Now my story which I guess pales in comparison to Flint's, but I guess there's lots of animal stuff going on this holiday season!

On the day before Christmas eve our dog Slayer, hurt himself. He tore a ligament and he's in too much pain to put any weight on it and so all he can do is hop on three legs. We have him scheduled for a surgery consultation on January 9. He's 9, and he's had two leg surgeries prior (both relating to genetic weaknesses from him being a purebred Silky). 

We funded the other two surgeries ourselves from tuition loans, selling gear, etc (both surgeries costed us almost $6,000). Now with this one, we've been quoted at around $4,000. It could be less but were trying to prep for the worse.

I know people joke and are like "put him down" but there's no way we can do that. He is the only family we have out here since we moved away for school and he's gotten us through so much. Reading Flint's story really hit home just how much he means to us. Such a joyful dog, and he has so much energy and just wants to play. It's tough to watch him hop around though, but he doesn't let anything stop him. We have to constrain him haha.

No idea where the money is coming from yet. We're hoping the surgeons can finance or we can take out a loan. We set up one of those Go Fund Me pages and a lot of people have been wonderfully generous with donations, however, it's only gotten us to the point where it will cover the consult haha. It feels really awful to have to explore those types of avenues and having to ask for help, but it's where we are in life. I'm trying not to feel too embarrassed by it all. We have some savings we'll be using and I'm selling some gear though. Sold a 4x12 cab the other day and am on the way to selling my jem. Sucks, but atleast I'm lucky enough to have some gear to try and sell!!


----------



## PunkBillCarson

This is about the aftermath of what I posted in the Why Are You Mad thread?



PunkBillCarson said:


> I have this "friend" who's had this crush on me for some time. I do not carry these feelings as I am a straight male. He before asked when he, me and my wife were going to have a three way and I kind of shrugged it off. Slowly, I began to realize that he's the kind of person who says something serious, but does it jokingly so someone will laugh it off or just say no without too much aggressiveness.
> 
> He came to my house the other night and while my fridge is open to friends, that doesn't mean he should have done what he did. He asked my wife if he could have some of her Cheetohs. She said yes. Bag was half full. He left only crumbs in the bag. Also, we were having burritos for supper. He ate all of the toppings after my wife made only ONE burrito. He didn't even make himself a burrito, he just ate two full bowls of tomatoes and black olives. He also pissed on the front of the toilet seat and I know this because I went to the bathroom after he did and had to clean up after him. Should I mention he's 35? When I was making my dinner, I could see him staring at me from the corner of my eyes. I've made it perfectly clear I do not have feelings for him, but he also complains he's "lonely." We try to invite him to places and all he said was "when is the last time someone asked what I wanted to do?" Okay, fair. So in an effort to be sympathetic, I asked him "what do you like to do?" He said, "that's not what I asked. I asked when is the last time someone asked me what I wanted to do?" Tried to break him out of his loneliness and he just wants to argue what EXACTLY was said. Typically, what happens is us in our group never ask what the others want to do. We just bring something up to do and we all go out. He never brings anything to the table in that regard and he never speaks up about anything but then blames everyone else when he gets lonely.
> 
> It's been coming to a head for awhile and after what he did the other night, pigging out from my fridge without even asking my wife if she was going to eat again, and pissing on the seat and not cleaning it up, I honestly feel like I can't be around him without being pissed much less being his friend again. Every time I think about it, it literally gives me a headache. When I try and confront him about issues like in the past, all he does is argue the literature instead of addressing the point, or he just comes up with excuses. I don't feel like being diplomatic is going to help here, I'm thinking I'm just going to have to bite his damn head off. Disrespect me that's one thing. Disrespect my wife and all the hard work she does into keeping our house clean that she lives in, that's another.



Now that I've taken out the trash so to speak, I'm facing another dilemma. He and one other person are the only people who wanted to chill with me. I still have the other friend and he's good and respectful, but he just got transferred to another shift, so we don't hang out much. It seems that in the last few years since I've been trying to put myself out there, hardly anyone wants to take the time to hang with me/my wife. I can't help but believe that a lot of this is due to my physical appearance (I'm a big guy with a beard). I would not be upset if this were the case, as long as I knew that's what it was. It's worse not knowing.

To give you an example of how bad my social life is, Bulb (Misha) responded to my message on the Jackson 2017 thread and I became excited and ecstatic because one of my favorite guitar players responded to me... My post. I just don't know what to do, guys and gals. I mean, I don't mind being lonely, it just seems like ever so often I run into a person I'd like to hang with and they like to be half in and half out as in good enough to add on FB, maybe sometimes chat, and never hang out. I would like my life to be one or the other. With or without people outside my family. I'll see some people in a store and we'll talk for 30 minutes to an hour and just when I think we're getting along, I'll message them a few days from then asking if they'd like to come over for dinner and the message is ignored entirely, or "seen" and not responded to.

That's another thing that gets me. I can't even bribe someone to hang out with the wife and I. Anyways, I guess I just knew why people don't feel I'm worthy enough to hang out with. Not that I'd go to correct it, but at least I'd know instead of wondering the rest of my life.


----------



## TedEH

To be fair, I've also always been a big guy with a beard, but I don't think that factors much into whether or not people are willing to be social. Seems to be a trend lately, I hear a lot of people complain about how difficult it is to just have a social life, to meet new friends outside of work or bands, etc. Could just be part of the reality of the times and the age group (I dunno how old you are, so I'm making some assumptions).

On the other hand, there's only so much you can ask of acquaintances. I can think of lots of people who I'd be baffled to receive a dinner invite from, despite being very friendly when we happen to run into each other. It's very unlikely that people literally think to themselves "this guy is unworthy of my company", and if that really is what's happening, then you'd be better off finding better company than that anyway.

Something I've realized as well is that for every moment that I spend upset that nobody is reaching out to me specifically for company, I'm not exactly doing the opposite back. Someone else out there is saying the same "nobody ever calls me" and is just waiting for ME to be the one to reach out and be social for them. At the end of the day, you have to recognize that yeah, you're not the first thing on people's mind, and that's normal. It doesn't mean people don't like you.


----------



## High Plains Drifter

TedEH said:


> To be fair, I've also always been a big guy with a beard, but I don't think that factors much into whether or not people are willing to be social. Seems to be a trend lately, I hear a lot of people complain about how difficult it is to just have a social life, to meet new friends outside of work or bands, etc. Could just be part of the reality of the times and the age group (I dunno how old you are, so I'm making some assumptions).
> 
> On the other hand, there's only so much you can ask of acquaintances. I can think of lots of people who I'd be baffled to receive a dinner invite from, despite being very friendly when we happen to run into each other. It's very unlikely that people literally think to themselves "this guy is unworthy of my company", and if that really is what's happening, then you'd be better off finding better company than that anyway.
> 
> Something I've realized as well is that for every moment that I spend upset that nobody is reaching out to me specifically for company, I'm not exactly doing the opposite back. Someone else out there is saying the same "nobody ever calls me" and is just waiting for ME to be the one to reach out and be social for them. At the end of the day, you have to recognize that yeah, you're not the first thing on people's mind, and that's normal. It doesn't mean people don't like you.



This is a great post and every part of it resonates with me. Additionally, the last paragraph is exactly what happened to my sister and I. We allowed our inability to stay in touch, to become something that really separated us over time... shame, but neither of us put in the effort for whatever reasons.


----------



## tacotiklah

I just heard one of the most messed up jokes and it actually made me sad instead of laughing. :'(


----------



## Blytheryn

tacotiklah said:


> I just heard one of the most messed up jokes and it actually made me sad instead of laughing. :'(



You can't not share the joke... C'mawn!


----------



## BrailleDecibel

I am not feeling sad right now, but I felt compelled to come into this thread and leave some well-wishes for anyone who happens to open this thread and feels like there is no hope left in the world. Many of you here have helped me out when I was feeling this way, and it only seems right that I leave this post here. I'm no depression expert or anything, but if anyone who sees this needs someone to talk to, shoot me a PM...kinda snowed in at the moment, so I'm on here off and on all day.  Here's to a better 2017.


----------



## tacotiklah

Blytheryn said:


> You can't not share the joke... C'mawn!



Fine...

Q: What would it take to reunite all four members of Pantera?

A: Three more bullets.


----------



## TedEH

^ Almost funny in an "aaaah, I see what you did there" kind of way, but pretty brutal otherwise.


----------



## OnTheEdge234

I have been fairly unhappy with my life for many years, but Have never really known what to do about it.

Think I need to find what I am unhappy about, because I don't know what I am unhappy about.

I do agree with it being hard to find a social life after a certain age. -______-


----------



## High Plains Drifter

OnTheEdge234 said:


> I have been fairly unhappy with my life for many years, but Have never really known what to do about it.
> 
> Think I need to find what I am unhappy about, because I don't know what I am unhappy about.
> 
> I do agree with it being hard to find a social life after a certain age. -______-



Feeling the same way, man. I pretty much know why in my case though.. lousy job, some health issues, limited family, etc... but I have to say that I've always kinda felt this way throughout my life... even when things were going well. I think I stress too much and pretty sure I've got some kind of imbalance that makes depression only a stone's throw away at any point... embarrassing but being honest. Cheers and hope you get to a better place.


----------



## OnTheEdge234

High Plains Drifter said:


> Feeling the same way, man. I pretty much know why in my case though.. lousy job, some health issues, limited family, etc... but I have to say that I've always kinda felt this way throughout my life... even when things were going well. I think I stress too much and pretty sure I've got some kind of imbalance that makes depression only a stone's throw away at any point... embarrassing but being honest. Cheers and hope you get to a better place.



Yeah I have failed a lot in life which isn't awesome. 

As of recent days as of the last month.

Had a lousy job, got canned from lousy job, No friends, no relationships, not the best looking guy, and other stuff unrelated.

Hanging around message boards isn't helping either, but there is really not much to do right now given I am at work at the moment(which is just sitting at a desk lol). I am just doing small jobs or odd jobs while looking for a real one to get some extra money so I don't have to move in with parents again.

I think I need to get some help, maybe it is time I don't know. I recently started lifting weights a year back so that is a start...I guess


----------



## High Plains Drifter

OnTheEdge234 said:


> Yeah I have failed a lot in life which isn't awesome.
> 
> As of recent days as of the last month.
> 
> Had a lousy job, got canned from lousy job, No friends, no relationships, not the best looking guy, and other stuff unrelated.
> 
> Hanging around message boards isn't helping either, but there is really not much to do right now given I am at work at the moment(which is just sitting at a desk lol). I am just doing small jobs or odd jobs while looking for a real one to get some extra money so I don't have to move in with parents again.
> 
> I think I need to get some help, maybe it is time I don't know. I recently started lifting weights a year back so that is a start...I guess



Same... always felt like a failure. The nail in the coffin was my father dying a few years ago and the fact that I failed him as a son... never even providing him with grandchildren. Sometimes the old cliche of "counting your blessings" holds some solace... at least for me. If I fall completely on my ass at this point, I don't even have any parents to move in with... both deceased, as are all my grandparents. Kinda scary and leaves me empty a lot of times, but it is what it is. Also, I've been in many relationships where I felt 100% alone and even though I have a fiance now, I still often feel isolated... much of that because although she's seemingly quite enamored with me, I just don't feel exactly the same about her... long story. 

Anyway... I hope that you keep lifting and/ or involving yourself with other things. Btw man... if you feel at all like you're ready and able to seek out some support, then you DEFINITELY should. Sometimes it just takes having some outside influence to get some enlightened perspective that many of us need from time to time. Therapists and counselors aren't always the answer but they can sometimes really help you to make sense of things... especially if you're willing to talk openly and subsequently listen to their advice. I won't get into the whole "validation" thing but I have found that we all need some degree of recognition at times too. That's something that you may be missing... idk. 

Lots of ppl have been where you're at or still are... plenty of empathy out there and I for one, completely relate to where you're coming from. I know it's easy to be discouraged but there's always some aspect of life that makes it worth fighting through the rough times. Chin up, brother and best wishes sent your way.


----------



## TedEH

High Plains Drifter said:


> Same... always felt like a failure. The nail in the coffin was my father dying a few years ago and the fact that I failed him as a son... never even providing him with grandchildren.



I realize that context is key, but I find it much easier to stay positive when you approach things from a point of view of failure being ok and expected. Most people fail a huge chunk of the important things they try to do- the key is to learn from that and either try again or move on. A failure is not always a loss- there's usually some amount of experience to gain. Lots of parts of life are an iterative process - you fail repeatedly until you've learned enough from those failures to succeed.

My second thought is more just a gut reaction and might not apply to your context - but you never owe someone grandkids. Unless it was specifically your goal to have kids because YOU wanted that, then you should never feel shame for not including those things in your lifestyle whether it was by choice or not. Don't want to get married? Don't want to have kids? Good. Don't. And don't let anyone tell you that you have to do those things.

My last significant relationship ended in no small part because of pressure from everyone to shape the relationship into what others wanted with no regard for how I wanted things- I was told by several people from both families that it was "my duty" to get married and start having kids, otherwise I was a "bad person" and "not living up to my end of the relationship", so I tend to get pretty sour about the idea of outside/unwelcome pressures on a persons relationships or lifestyles. Same thing happened when I lost a bunch of weight - Those same people are uncomfortable with how different I am and now tell me that I'm too small and need to add the weight back on (and I mean that in a "eat a burger" sense, not "go to the gym"), despite the fact that this is the healthiest I've ever been. 

Sorry to get super ranty over a small detail, it's just something that gets under my skin. 

tl;dr - Live for yourself, and own your failures cause there's almost always something to learn from them.


----------



## High Plains Drifter

TedEH said:


> I realize that context is key, but I find it much easier to stay positive when you approach things from a point of view of failure being ok and expected. Most people fail a huge chunk of the important things they try to do- the key is to learn from that and either try again or move on. A failure is not always a loss- there's usually some amount of experience to gain. Lots of parts of life are an iterative process - you fail repeatedly until you've learned enough from those failures to succeed.
> 
> My second thought is more just a gut reaction and might not apply to your context - but you never owe someone grandkids. Unless it was specifically your goal to have kids because YOU wanted that, then you should never feel shame for not including those things in your lifestyle whether it was by choice or not. Don't want to get married? Don't want to have kids? Good. Don't. And don't let anyone tell you that you have to do those things.
> 
> My last significant relationship ended in no small part because of pressure from everyone to shape the relationship into what others wanted with no regard for how I wanted things- I was told by several people from both families that it was "my duty" to get married and start having kids, otherwise I was a "bad person" and "not living up to my end of the relationship", so I tend to get pretty sour about the idea of outside/unwelcome pressures on a persons relationships or lifestyles. Same thing happened when I lost a bunch of weight - Those same people are uncomfortable with how different I am and now tell me that I'm too small and need to add the weight back on (and I mean that in a "eat a burger" sense, not "go to the gym"), despite the fact that this is the healthiest I've ever been.
> 
> Sorry to get super ranty over a small detail, it's just something that gets under my skin.
> 
> tl;dr - Live for yourself, and own your failures cause there's almost always something to learn from them.



As usual, your words carry a great deal of intellect and valuable insight. I guess that I always felt that I was a loser because I always sought my Dads approval yet was consistently unable to rise to the occasion. My step-mom gave me a triple-heaping dose of guilt when he died.. bringing up all kinds of hateful and damming testimonials about what a disappointment I was to him and how I was a horrible son for not being there with him when he passed... and basically bringing up all kinds of very vile-spirited blame that I had "abandoned my family when moving away from home". Long long stories involved with all of that... I digress. 

I guess I never fit the mold that was basically drilled into me throughout my childhood and teen years: "Go to local college/ graduate/ stay close to home/ make money/ buy house/ get married/ have kids/ live happily ever after". That's what my sister did and so she was the favorite. I instead dropped out of college, left home, moved across the country, and made a life for myself... basically the opposite of what was acceptable. 

Maybe despite any of that... or not, I've always been the weird one... the one that was an artist, independent, didn't subscribe to traditional views or values. "High Plains Drifter" wasn't just a movie or Beastie Boys song to me. It's who I've always been... bucking the norms, fighting the establishment, leading a life of unconventional adventurous travel and interests. Much of it I wouldn't change but deep inside of me there's this feeling that I'm just not wired quite right.

It's funny... Some of what you describe reminds me of those "great friends" at the bar... that when I announced that I'd not be playing pool tournaments anymore because I was trying get away from the bar-scene and get healthy... were either disappointed or skeptical... not happy nor supportive for my decision to better myself.


----------



## TedEH

High Plains Drifter said:


> fit the mold



It's interesting to put into perspective how much of that mold has only been around for maybe one lifetime or so. I think (don't quote me on this) that there are people still alive who were born before mass produced cars were a thing, let alone a lot of what we think of as "modern" - values and systems have changed so dramatically in a short period of time and I think there's still a lot of growth happening - so in that sense, it helps to consider that most people have not "figured out the big picture" and that there isn't really a mold to speak of anymore. There's so much room for anyone to take up any lifestyle they want, and of course these new ways of living will be met by criticism from anyone attached to tradition. I almost always assume that people are doing what they think is best even if it doesn't turn out well, so in that sense I recognize that people telling you what you "should do" is meant well, even if in context it's not very well informed advice.

Another perspective-
In my own family, I'm considered "the successful one". I mean that in the sense that I'm financially independent, I get to do cool things like go on tours, buy fancy instruments, have a good career, get my name in the credits of some creative works, etc., - but I did so by sidestepping a lot of the "normal things" that people "are supposed to" do. I never had kids, got married, I don't own a house, etc. My siblings took a more traditional route, and now have a bunch of kids and a bigger home, but very little stability or freedom. I can't make any claim that I'm "happier" than they are, but I feel 100% comfortable with the idea that I'm doing things because I chose that path and not because "I was supposed to".


----------



## High Plains Drifter

I really dig your perspective. And I don't mean to come off as a sad-sack or seeking pity. I've also been afforded a good deal of flexibility in that I don't own a home, don't have kids, and am not married. I'm also fairly content with all of that... despite a lot of opposing influence from family throughout my life. Just wish I hadn't let down the man that I admired most.


----------



## MARKMYWORDS

I'm sad right now cuz I'm staying out of town for work all week not home with my fiancee and my dog


----------



## Anquished

Kinda skirting on off-topic (more of a money whinging issue).

I don't know whether to buy a baritone or a strat.

Specifically I'm looking at a PRS SE 277 Baritone or a Blue Fender Deluxe Strat.

Making me sad because I can only really afford one guitar a year (if that) and I'm conflicted on which one I want more..

First world problems.


----------



## BrailleDecibel

Just feeling totally lost in life right now...I just got a job working online promo for a record label, I should be happy, but I am not.  I just really need some good vibes right now.


----------



## downburst82

downburst82 said:


> Messed my back up again . This year has been brutal for me with injury and illness. I count my blessings thats nothing has been truly serious (as in life threatening) but its been one thing after another thats kept me from being able to accomplish the things I need to. We have our third child on the way and ive been trying to get ahead financially by working hard and so far this year ive cracked ribs, messed my back up 3 times and catch every cold or flu that seems to go around. I'm self employed as a handlyman so no sick pay or disability/workmans comp etc. Its starting to look like I may have to find a new line of work because of my repeated back issues and it sucks because I was finally starting to do ok with the handyman stuff with a good amount of regular clients and my hourly rate at a level that allowed be to properly provide for my family....I just dont really know what to do now at this point.



And today once again I have screwed my back 

I worked really hard yesterday doing baseboards for a client and my back felt totally fine, got home yesterday everything was still fine....then this morning as I was getting my daughters lunch ready for school I coughed and it went out. It hurt so bad I couldn't stand and basically fell to the ground and layed there. 
Eventually I managed to get myself standing again and dragged myself in agony through the rest of the morning routine getting the kids ready and taking them to school (They were a bit late but I was still damn proud of myself).

So now I'm laying in bed in massive discomfort, I was supposed to work today but that's not going to be possible so once again I contemplating life/work and what I'm going to do moving forward.


Good luck to everyone else with the issues being struggled with...im sure we will all make it if we keep on keeping on


----------



## High Plains Drifter

stuff sucks.


----------



## PunkBillCarson

There's always been this sort of phenomenon happen when I have a few people that are closer acquaintances/friends. Happened in high school and at least every couple of years since. I'll get a best friend, we'll all hang out with some people we mutually know and not long after I won't hear a peep from ANY of them. Just "seen" messages with no response. I don't know if I'm too trusting or what. Communication is normally pretty decent beforehand and then it all goes downhill once they find out my best friend at the time is a more interesting person. I guess .... people. And people wonder why I love my pets and animals in general more than people as a whole. My pets are always there for me. Supposed to have dinner with a couple this Saturday and I'm scared to ....ing death. It's a like a drug. I don't know why I keep doing this to myself. Sorry for the rant.


----------



## Blytheryn

I found out that I wasn't selected for an appointment to the Air Force Academy this year. Bummed. I have one year left to try though, before I get too old (23).


----------



## MrBouleDeBowling

I'm sad because I miss my ex. I'm also sad because social anxiety sucks.


----------



## naw38

On holiday in Japan, should be having a blast; except for the fact I got roofied a couple of nights ago and have felt like absolute fucking shit ever since. Fever, got the squirts, headache, can barely eat which says a lot because nothing has ever killed my appetite before.

At least the good news is that I got the fuck outta that bar before I was so wasted they could start smashing my credit card. Phew!


----------



## El Caco

The guy who was going to buy my amp pulled out and the amp I was going to buy with the money just sold now that I found it even though it sat in that shop for 10 months. 

I don't currently have a job but I also don't want to go back to my trade.


----------



## TedEH

Maybe this belongs in the 'relationships' thread, but I'm putting it here cause it's why I'm sad right now.

I met someone a while back and thought we were starting to hit it off a bit. Had this conversation yesterday that sounded like it was dropping subtle hints that maybe we were on to something. I was giving "advice" about "someone she met" who sounded an awful lot like me. I *thought* it was just a subtle/shy way to sort of gauge my level of interest, then all of the sudden I get a message along the lines of:

"What what? You thought I was talking about you? I mean, we get along, but I don't think you and I.... "

So turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time and I was giving her advice on how to move forward with some other dude. FML


----------



## MrBouleDeBowling

I already said it, but I'm sad because of my shyness. Talking to people, meeting new friends, finding a girl, etc. I have such a hard time doing those things. Funny thing is, I can do a show in front of a crowd of 600+ people and I don't mind at all because I enjoy playing music so much. Hell, I even was the frontman of my old melodeath band and was good at it. Even funnier, I work in a retail store selling flooring. I'm confident with clients because I know exactly what advice to give when they ask me. When I'm with good friends and a couple of drinks, I crack jokes all the time and make everyone laugh.

But when I'm off the stage, I'm too shy to socialize with other bands. When I finish work, I can't just go to the bar nearby hoping to meet new people. I never know what to say, I stutter or feel extremely unconfortable. I'm that wierd guy who usually's in the corner staying quiet all the time. I've been like this all my life. Some make fun of it, some are uncomfortable, some even think I'm very rude and ignoring them. I can't explain it. It just gets the better of me. I'd love to meet a girl. I haven't had sex in a whole year. My friends get mad at me. "Just stop beign shy! You should've gone talk to that girl! You really think you're going to find someone by doing nothing?!".

It got slightly better. Meds helps. But I'm 26 and have missed out on so much on life.


----------



## will_shred

Guitars>People

Present company excluded of course <3

I too am still sad about my ex, left me out of the blue after 5 years. It seems like I have zero prospect of getting another partner but who knows? Right now i'm just trying to keep my head down and focus on music and getting mentally/physically healthy.


----------



## Ordacleaphobia

AlexCorriveau said:


> I'm sad because I miss my ex. I'm also sad because social anxiety sucks.



Shots on me, man. Same low feels. 
Biggest regret of my life was walking away from her, regret it every day.


----------



## StrmRidr

AlexCorriveau said:


> I already said it, but I'm sad because of my shyness. Talking to people, meeting new friends, finding a girl, etc. I have such a hard time doing those things. Funny thing is, I can do a show in front of a crowd of 600+ people and I don't mind at all because I enjoy playing music so much. Hell, I even was the frontman of my old melodeath band and was good at it. Even funnier, I work in a retail store selling flooring. I'm confident with clients because I know exactly what advice to give when they ask me. When I'm with good friends and a couple of drinks, I crack jokes all the time and make everyone laugh.
> 
> But when I'm off the stage, I'm too shy to socialize with other bands. When I finish work, I can't just go to the bar nearby hoping to meet new people. I never know what to say, I stutter or feel extremely unconfortable. I'm that wierd guy who usually's in the corner staying quiet all the time. I've been like this all my life. Some make fun of it, some are uncomfortable, some even think I'm very rude and ignoring them. I can't explain it. It just gets the better of me. I'd love to meet a girl. I haven't had sex in a whole year. My friends get mad at me. "Just stop beign shy! You should've gone talk to that girl! You really think you're going to find someone by doing nothing?!".
> 
> It got slightly better. Meds helps. But I'm 26 and have missed out on so much on life.



You basically just described me as well. It takes me a long time before being comfortable enough around someone to actually get a conversation going and even then, unless we are talking about a subject that genuinely interests me, chances are I won't have much to say . It blows my mind every time I witness people that barely know each other start talking like they've known each other forever. I'm not necessarily sad because of it, I still have enough friends (the ones that stuck around long enough to see that I wasn't just the weird silent guy in the corner), but it sucks every time I am around new people.


----------



## PunkBillCarson

My wife and I lost our son four years ago today. He was 16 weeks and I'm really not feeling like doing much of anything because these feelings I have about it are so crippling. I've never understood why two people who genuinely want children can't have them but child molesters and drug addicts can. And before anyone says it, yes we already know about the option of adoption and no we don't currently meet the criteria for it.


----------



## AxeHappy

Oh fuck man, that's rough. My sister lost her twins (still born) and it's a pain that never goes away. You have my deepest sympathies.


----------



## DistinguishedPapyrus

One of my old co-workers got a DUI. After leaving a party I was at with several other people from our staff. Nothing really bad happened, just a simple traffic stop, she was probably driving a little loopy, cop noticed it, lit her up, she blew over the limit and spent the night in county. I left an hour or so before she did only having had one drink myself, and sipped nothing but water for a while afterward making sure I was completely clear headed before I left, but she and another girl were definitely drunk, they both had the same kind of drink I had but kept on ordering beers, shots and other drinks afterward... up til I left. They said several things about one of their boyfriends picking them up, and I left there thinking they were gonna have a safe ride home either by the boyfriend or a Uber ride or something, but the thought still nagged me til the next morning that maybe I shouldn't have left without actually seeing to it that they got into a safe ride with someone else. and sure enough later the one girl must have felt brave and didn't wanna leave her car there over night, and she's now caught up in this situation. Just really feel bad for her... just a simple mistake, we all make mistakes.


----------



## Blytheryn

Broke up with my girlfriend of over four years this weekend. We've been together since we were 17, and did a lot of growing together. Travelled to L.A for six months after high school, and we've even been living together for the past year and a half. we're 21 and 22 now, and I guess times, feelings and stuff like that change. I guess I'm the core issue, as I have dreams of serving in the Air Force, and wanting to get a college education back home in the States, as opposed to Sweden, where I have to work dead end jobs to pay for rent. She's been supportive of me from the very beginning, buying me aviation books for my birthdays, etc. But everyone has to draw a line somewhere. This way we ended it as friends a little while before I left, as opposed to right before, save some of the heartache and shock, I guess.

I'm still gutted, and while she's away during the Summer working at her dad's place, I'm here in our apartment, while I wrap up work and move back to my parent's before I come stateside. She said she would help me move my stuff out when the time comes, and I appreciate that. Happy to have her as a friend, because that's what we started out being, before anything else, really. Hope time finds us in a better place eventually because this is first and foremost about not being in each other's way at this point in our lives when we want different things, as opposed to losing feelings for each other.

Don't know how I'll kick the feelings... We both knew it would come to this, but never anticipated how it would feel until it happened.

Overall a super shitty, fucked up situation. Glad I have you guys, guitars and the gym.


----------



## El Caco

That's an interesting read. Mostly because I can't understand or relate to it at all. My wife is my only friend, I don't really have other close friends. I'm middle aged and haven't made anything of my life and sometimes I've thought about how I could have done things differently and improved aspects of my life dramatically especially in regards to money and career. But as hard as my life is now I realise that if things had of been different I most likely wouldn't have my wife and kids and I wouldn't trade them for anything.

My wife loves and believes in this quote


> “According to Greek mythology, humans were originally created with four arms, four legs and a head with two faces. Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two separate parts, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves.”


 and it makes a lot of sense to me now. I can't imagine another woman who could love me and I couldn't imagine anyone more perfect for me, it really is as if we are two halves of the same f'd up person.

I don't know if you are walking away from something like that but it kind of seems like you had a partner who was perhaps your best friend, I couldn't imagine leaving that for anything unless you knew she wasn't the one and you're just using this as an excuse but from what you wrote it doesn't seem like that. 

You don't need to explain. I was just explaining how the concept is foreign to me and beyond my simple understanding.



Blytheryn said:


> Broke up with my girlfriend of over four years this weekend. We've been together since we were 17, and did a lot of growing together. Travelled to L.A for six months after high school, and we've even been living together for the past year and a half. we're 21 and 22 now, and I guess times, feelings and stuff like that change. I guess I'm the core issue, as I have dreams of serving in the Air Force, and wanting to get a college education back home in the States, as opposed to Sweden, where I have to work dead end jobs to pay for rent. She's been supportive of me from the very beginning, buying me aviation books for my birthdays, etc. But everyone has to draw a line somewhere. This way we ended it as friends a little while before I left, as opposed to right before, save some of the heartache and shock, I guess.
> 
> I'm still gutted, and while she's away during the Summer working at her dad's place, I'm here in our apartment, while I wrap up work and move back to my parent's before I come stateside. She said she would help me move my stuff out when the time comes, and I appreciate that. Happy to have her as a friend, because that's what we started out being, before anything else, really. Hope time finds us in a better place eventually because this is first and foremost about not being in each other's way at this point in our lives when we want different things, as opposed to losing feelings for each other.
> 
> Don't know how I'll kick the feelings... We both knew it would come to this, but never anticipated how it would feel until it happened.
> 
> Overall a super shitty, fucked up situation. Glad I have you guys, guitars and the gym.


----------



## Blytheryn

El Caco said:


> That's an interesting read. Mostly because I can't understand or relate to it at all. My wife is my only friend, I don't really have other close friends. I'm middle aged and haven't made anything of my life and sometimes I've thought about how I could have done things differently and improved aspects of my life dramatically especially in regards to money and career. But as hard as my life is now I realise that if things had of been different I most likely wouldn't have my wife and kids and I wouldn't trade them for anything.
> 
> My wife loves and believes in this quote
> and it makes a lot of sense to me now. I can't imagine another woman who could love me and I couldn't imagine anyone more perfect for me, it really is as if we are two halves of the same f'd up person.
> 
> I don't know if you are walking away from something like that but it kind of seems like you had a partner who was perhaps your best friend, I couldn't imagine leaving that for anything unless you knew she wasn't the one and you're just using this as an excuse but from what you wrote it doesn't seem like that.
> 
> You don't need to explain. I was just explaining how the concept is foreign to me and beyond my simple understanding.



Well, I'll ramble and hope some of it is coherent enough to make sense. I'm an American but with a European mom. We've lived in Sweden since I was 14, and I've never considered myself Swedish. I've always loved aviation, and after high school I realized that I wanted to see how I could make that career work. Of course, having a girlfriend who was just getting started in college in Sweden made it obvious that a split would probably be inevitable down the line. last year I didn't get into any of the colleges that I had applied to in the U.S, which for me meant another year of working jobs in fast food restaurants and cafés while I tried to work on multiple college and service academy applications. While I was largely unhappy with my situation doing nothing of value for money while everyone around me progressed, really stressed me out, and frustrated me to the point of desperation. I still loved my girlfriend very much but I apparently my feelings of frustration and all the other negativity must have "oozed" off me, and that made her very sad, especially combined with the feelings that nothing she could do would be able to make me stay. I was stubborn, tunnel visioned and blind to how she felt. (I have no idea what I would do in Sweden, as my whole idea of what I want to do revolves around getting a degree in the U.S and commissioning into the military). Sure I would have her, but at what cost, and how much would I regret that down the line? 

It is on me, I completely understand her point of view, and I regret a lot. We are still friends, I hope for things to stay that way, and if anything ever becomes of us again I would be very happy, but I also look back at the 4,5 years we shared together without a single regret. It's true that you don't really know what you have until it's gone.


----------



## El Caco

I kind of get it. I can kind of relate or maybe my wife can. I'm lucky she put up with me as I've been a miserable useless prick over the years. Miserable about missed opportunities, miserable how I couldn't do what I wanted to do and often blamed having a family for holding me back or for not helping me achieve my dreams. Then I tried to let go of some impossible dreams and at times I blamed family among other things. I hated that I had to let stuff go and couldn't do what I wanted. I almost lost my wife a few times and there were times I didn't really care, I thought I'd probably be better off without her, she thought she'd could be better off without me, she also didn't want to hold me back or be responsible for my misery. It's crazy looking back at it now. I've been a useless prick and I kind of am now as right now I'm trying to work out what to do next and my wife is carrying us all and I'm really not pulling my weight and I'm trying to work out some of my issues that are preventing me from doing things that I need to do.

The thing is we are still possibly the happiest and best we have ever been and even though things are very uncertain and scary we are both very thankful we have each other and the other stuff (excluding kids) isn't really important. We now have more common dreams. Dreams that are more realistic and simpler but I think more fulfilling. Well to be honest all I really want at this point is more time with her and experiences with her. I don't enjoy things like surfing anymore because she doesn't surf and it isn't something I can share with her, I have tried to go surfing with my son for him but I'm just not feeling it anymore and I'd rather be doing stuff with her. I'd still love to be able to do Motorsports stuff but it isn't really realistic, it is something I could still potentially make happen but at the cost of our goal of a more simple life where we can move around and be more true to our nomadic self, it would complicate things. I know it's cliche but for me there is truth now in "it's the simple things". The best times of my life are happening now when I go for a walk with her holding her hand and just talking about what ever comes to mind, and when we both enjoy a spectacular meal together or even just a Gelato or the time we grabbed a roast lamb and some fresh bread rolls and sat down on the grass looking out over the perfect ocean, it's funny how much better it tasted in that moment. Now we would just like to do the same all over the world and I want to try and make that happen for us, we have kids and would like to take them to but realistically we probably wont get away until the kids are all adults, my youngest is now a teen but he says he is going to live with us forever. 

It's funny how much I have changed. I'm glad to be wrong. I'm really happy I made it through with what I now think is most important. But I guess looking back I should understand yours and her perspective and I can only wish the best for you both. Who knows maybe you might be destined to return to each other, maybe not. Maybe your happiness lies elsewhere. We are all different but for me I got lucky that I ended up with happiness despite every effort to sabotage it because at the time I was stupid.

On the other hand my wife and I often say that the reason Murphy hates me so much or the reason I can't have anything else in life is because I have her, others have riches but are often unhappy or there is something missing. I'm happy, I don't feel like anything is missing, everything else is just a bonus.


----------



## protest

Sad because people can't seem to learn that a life with heroin has only one result.


----------



## bostjan

Growing up, my mom was always the disciplinarian, and my dad was the the fun parent. My dad handed me his guitar to get me interested in that, and my mom struggled to get me to stay focused in school, so that I could become a scientist some day. My dad got me into AC/DC and Led Zeppelin, while my mom pressured me to learn other styles and branch out my tastes.

Looking back, I had the perfect contrast of parents so that I could enjoy my relaxation time and also GSD. I feel like I gave them a bad deal when I finished my studies at the university and then zoomed off far away from home to be on my own.

I was just planning a trip to go back to visit them, and my mom called and told me my dad had a stroke and was in the hospital, and that it didn't look good. He had some health issues, but he had seemed to have been on an upswing.

Now my dad is gone. My mom never had to live on her own before now. And I'm literally a thousand miles away.


----------



## High Plains Drifter

I'm very sorry for what you're dealing with, bostjan. Virtual but sincere hugs go out to you.


----------



## El Caco

Damn. My thoughts are with you and your family at this time.


----------



## High Plains Drifter

Rest In Peace, Wichita Lineman.


----------



## El Caco

I'm a bad parent. I've had bombshell after bombshell dropped on me in regards to my kids recently and I don't know how to help them.

I'm getting distracted by ss.org. I shouldn't be here because I don't have time this month but I left some tabs open yesterday, stupid mistake and now I have to get ready to go up to the school but I let myself sit down and read the tabs I left open. I lack self control.


----------



## Necris

I'm in the process of downsizing my instrument/gear collection, but that's not making me sad - in fact getting rid of a lot of my gear has actually had the opposite effect. What makes me sad is the discovery that one of the 4 string basses I was hoping to prepare for sale has a horrible forward neck bow and too much curve even with the truss rod maxed out and the strings removed.
It can be fixed, and I've loosened off the truss rod and clamped the neck down to attempt to force a back bow into it (which looks horrifying in person  ), but I don't know if I can feel good about selling this bass to anyone, even if the repair goes as planned - so it may stay with me indefinitely.


----------



## cwhitey2

I'm sad because i feel like I'm slowly losing all interest in music. 

Absolutely no motivation to even think about playing, which sucks because i feel like I'm letting my bands mates down. 

Hopefully i can get out of this music funk I'm in.


----------



## USMarine75

I'm sad because I'm supposed to be downsizing my gear, but instead I've bought 2 more Private Stock guitars and around 10 pedals. I need help lol.


----------



## NotDonVito

tfw no gf

instead of fixing this issue, I'm drinking in bed watching Adam Sandler movies

JUST


----------



## marcwormjim

I'm sad he's not Don Vito.


----------



## HeavyMetal4Ever

Found out today that my mum has lung cancer. I'm still in shock at the moment.


----------



## Ordacleaphobia

I'm sad about Charlottesville. 
For a couple different reasons.

I can't believe how insane things have gotten in such a short time. Everyone needs to take a step back and just...cool off for a minute, and learn to *use your words *ffs, fight nice, kids. Every time I read about a protest or a march now I'm stuck sitting there waiting for the followup story about the violence that surely follows. I get the anger, I really do, but even from a purely selfish perspective, assaulting someone _doesn't even help you_. Hurting people _hurts your cause_. There are _*no winners*_. Why does this keep happening? Things are at such a fever pitch now that people are so tense to the point where after somebody _drives their car through a crowd of people and kills somebody_ people still won't take a step back, everyone is still on edge with each other, and nobody wants to show any sign of weakness. 

I'm also sad about Trump's statement and the mess surrounding that. Not so much regarding the statement itself, I didn't have any issue with what he said; but more in regard to the fact that he even had to make an announcement. It was incredibly depressing for me to see people dogpile the president, freaking out over him not instantly making the public statement they want him to make. The fact that the american public needs to president to get on national television and explicitly state to the press that "I am against this. I do not like this. I do not support people driving cars through crowds," really makes me sad. 

Then you see the media turning the whole thing into political capital and just continuing to fuel the fire. I can't believe how _*insane*_ our country is right now. I don't even have any idea on how this is going to ever resolve itself. This woman is dead. She turned up to the streets to try and make a difference and now she's fucking dead. Even if we want to play the mud slinging game and assume she was one of these people that showed up just to throw bricks at people...isn't it sad that things have gotten to this point? The cultural relations have deteriorated so much that people even end up in these situations? The news is always on at my work, and when I watch, it almost doesn't even seem like I'm watching the United States anymore. It's terrifying.


----------



## watson503

HeavyMetal4Ever said:


> Found out today that my mum has lung cancer. I'm still in shock at the moment.


All positive energy and best wishes to your mother, yourself, and your family.


----------



## TedEH

Ordacleaphobia said:


> I can't believe how _*insane*_ our country is right now.


You know that expression along the lines of when you've broken a bone, and that bone hurts when it's going to rain? Is there a similar expression for when you're expecting a war to break out?

Wake up, look at phone, literal Nazis everywhere, go back to bed, try again tomorrow.


----------



## High Plains Drifter

HeavyMetal4Ever said:


> Found out today that my mum has lung cancer. I'm still in shock at the moment.



Very sorry that you have to be a part of this. My genuine support goes out to her and to you.


----------



## Kyle-Vick

I am sad because I just finished reading "A Little Sacrifice," the forth short story in the "Sword of Destiny," from The Witcher series.


----------



## High Plains Drifter

Man I hate pawn-shops... ugh. 

Guild X79 in very good condition + mint condition Gretsch Electromatic 5655T-CB & HSC= $370.

I just cant let em go for so little.


----------



## HeavyMetal4Ever

watson503 said:


> All positive energy and best wishes to your mother, yourself, and your family.





High Plains Drifter said:


> Very sorry that you have to be a part of this. My genuine support goes out to her and to you.



Thank you both for your kind words and support.

To everyone who can, please go and give your mum a hug for me.


----------



## TVasquez96

My brother's godfather is moving to Florida from Connecticut, so pretty much the opposite end of the country. My brother is adopted, and has had separation anxiety pretty much from the time he came into my family, and now he feels like everybody leaves him. So needless to say he's taking it pretty hard. It's fucking breaking my heart to see him like this. Also doesn't help that his godfather is my mom's best friend so she's a mess herself.


----------



## Bigsby

i usually avoid talking about how i'm feeling but i kind of just need to tell someone. _anyone. _
i am sad because i feel like my once great relationship is dying after 3 years and i've tried everything. 
i am sad that i have this crippling feeling of being alone after meeting someone who made me feel the opposite. 
i am sad that all this is taking place at a time that's very rough for me. the 2 year mark of my mom passing away.
i'll probably be embarrassed as heck reading this in the morning but i just had to get it out to someone


----------



## High Plains Drifter

Bigsby- Don't ever feel embarrassed. There's no need. Venting and sharing is admirable and speaks of your character. We all hurt sometimes and it's absolutely understandable to feel a heavy heart at times like this. I know that there's little that an anonymous stranger can say to help, but things will change... ebb and flow. Please take time to count your blessings. There are always things to feel thankful for and I'm sure that no matter how dire your struggles may be, that there are others around you that can relate and that can help you to get thru the tough times. I sincerely hope that you find some solace soon. Stay well, man.


----------



## MrBouleDeBowling

I'm sad because I just lost my job that I really liked and I have to go back to my old one with minimum wage.


----------



## marcwormjim

It sucks to be caught in a dying field. The last time I checked, “Poisonous animal masturbator” wasn’t even being offered as a major anymore. I can only imagine how much worse it’ll be in five years - For our children, it’ll be just another foreign concept.


----------



## HeavyMetal4Ever

My mum died today of cancer. I'm equal parts devastated, lost and numb.

Everyone who reads this, if you can, please give your mum a hug and tell her you love her.


----------



## High Plains Drifter

HeavyMetal4Ever said:


> My mum died today of cancer. I'm equal parts devastated, lost and numb.
> 
> Everyone who reads this, if you can, please give your mum a hug and tell her you love her.



I'm so deeply sorry for your loss, man. 

X2... Hug your parents when you can and try to resolve petty issues with siblings. It hurts so much to lose them and it hurts even worse when they're gone and you feel as if there was more to say or that there was animosity in the air. Life really is too short to be on shitty terms with those that you love and/ or care about.


----------



## HeavyMetal4Ever

High Plains Drifter said:


> I'm so deeply sorry for your loss, man.
> 
> X2... Hug your parents when you can and try to resolve petty issues with siblings. It hurts so much to lose them and it hurts even worse when they're gone and you feel as if there was more to say or that there was animosity in the air. Life really is too short to be on shitty terms with those that you love and/ or care about.



Thank you for the kind words.

I urge everyone to take High Plains Drifter's advice. I got on great with my mum, but it straight up sucks that me and my family will never get to tell her how much she means to us ever again. I can only guess how much worse it would feel if we left things unsaid or had regrets about past issues.


----------



## watson503

HeavyMetal4Ever said:


> My mum died today of cancer. I'm equal parts devastated, lost and numb.
> 
> Everyone who reads this, if you can, please give your mum a hug and tell her you love her.


My deepest condolences, man. I'm so sorry for your loss.


----------



## Gravy Train

HeavyMetal4Ever said:


> My mum died today of cancer. I'm equal parts devastated, lost and numb.
> 
> Everyone who reads this, if you can, please give your mum a hug and tell her you love her.



I'm so sorry man, my condolences to you and your loved ones.


----------



## Mathemagician

I have to start studying for the Level 3 of the CFA exam again. And I just don’t want to. It’s an absolute first-world problem. But fuuuuuuuuuuuck I don’t want to ghost my entire life for another 8 months.


----------



## DistinguishedPapyrus

HeavyMetal4Ever said:


> My mum died today of cancer. I'm equal parts devastated, lost and numb.
> 
> Everyone who reads this, if you can, please give your mum a hug and tell her you love her.



Very sorry to hear this man, I know that struggle. Both my parents have been diagnosed. Dad’s situation is a little worse than moms. I try to enjoy the days as much as I can... but just dreading that phone call.


----------



## HeavyMetal4Ever

DistinguishedPapyrus said:


> Very sorry to hear this man, I know that struggle. Both my parents have been diagnosed. Dad’s situation is a little worse than moms. I try to enjoy the days as much as I can... but just dreading that phone call.



I'm very sorry to hear about your parents.

I'd also like to thank everyone for the kind words.


----------



## TedEH

Seems like a pattern lately where I try to focus on my job - trying to improve focus, productivity, communication, the quality of my work etc., but I'm constantly left feeling like an idiot. Stuck in one of those "I don't want to get up and go to work" ruts for the last few months, on top of personal projects that aren't going anywhere, bands that aren't jamming, not having much of a social life, the cat has too much energy and keeps me from sleeping- just lots of small downers and nothing good going on to balance things out.

I'm both glad that I'll have holidays coming up soon so I can take a break, but also worried that I'll just end up stuck isolated at home for the whole break and that'll make things worse.


----------



## p0ke

TedEH said:


> ... Stuck in one of those "I don't want to get up and go to work" ruts for the last few months, on top of personal projects that aren't going anywhere, bands that aren't jamming, not having much of a social life, the cat has too much energy and keeps me from sleeping- just lots of small downers and nothing good going on to balance things out.
> ...



Same here. My wife's got too many hobbies so she's away most evenings and when she's at home, she's so tired she just falls asleep on the couch while I'm putting the kids to bed. I do that every evening, by the way. Luckily her hobbies mostly end around Christmas.
We don't have a cat but my daughter keeps me awake instead... She usually wakes up at around midnight and refuses to sleep in her own bed after that. I don't mind having her in our bed otherwise, but she sleeps very restlessly, so I often wake up with her toes up my nose or what not a bunch of times every night. My wife on the other hand, sleeps so deeply that she rarely even wakes up when our daughter cries.
Also my car's doing all these really funny little tricks - now the engine cooling stopped working and it's basically overheating after driving a couple of kilometers. Luckily I don' need to drive anywhere, but it still sucks. 
So yeah, lots of small downers and not many happy moments in between them... I did buy a house a while ago, but we still don't get to move there until February so that doesn't really count, and in general, I'm just waiting for a bunch of things to happen. For example, once my wife's current hobbies end, the only hobby she'll be allowed to have is one that involves her, me and a bed


----------



## Vyn

HeavyMetal4Ever said:


> My mum died today of cancer. I'm equal parts devastated, lost and numb.
> 
> Everyone who reads this, if you can, please give your mum a hug and tell her you love her.



Sorry to hear 

I'm posting in this thread because of my partner who died three years ago, having one of those days today. Today can go get F*****.


----------



## watson503

Today is the 8th anniversary of my little brother's death, he was 14 years younger than me -only 22 when he passed - and had his whole life in front of him. It is hard to imagine how I am still here after all of the insane shit I've involved myself in...What a strange thing this life is.


----------



## SD83

3 pm, 3-4 inches of snow (which is A LOT by local standards, once every 5-10 years), and all the hillsides which have been teeming with children on sleighs when I was young... empty. All is quiet, no footprints, no voices, no people, nothing. To think that all those kids are somewhere indoors, probably looking at a screen (just as we do now), to think about the fun they're missing out on (we ran into a tree or two back in the day, and the most popular hill ended in a thorny hedge and a little stream, and so did we from time to time, but as Robb Flynn once said, "a little pain ain't never hurt nobody"). Probably most the kids are still in some kind of school or day care or whatever, the parents at work, and even if they aren't, might be kids these days aren't allowed to get dirty, let alone hurt anymore.


----------



## marcwormjim

That seems very German.


----------



## naw38

Found out today that an old friend of mine died. Jumped off a waterfall into what she thought was a calm, still body of water. Turns out there's a vicious as fuck undertow, got dragged down. Drowned. What a shitty way to go. When I heard the news, I hoped she'd smashed her head on something, been knocked out, been spared the turmoil and terror of being sucked down and knowing she was about to die. Nope. Just fucking drowned. She must have been 26, 27.


----------



## Discoqueen

Oi Major Depressive Disorder sucks. It makes me sad because when I get to the very depths of the Depressive states I get psychotic features. It's way to intense for many people, so every friend I made in the past two or three years doesn't talk to me anymore (some new internet freinds are around, and I have one friend I can see biweekly.) 

I don't blame anyone for needing to kinda disassociate from me. Like, I can be terribly mean and rude, agitated as heck, not aware of reality or how my behavior is affecting other people-- that's the worst one cuz that is hard to work on since I realize it after the fact. I ghost people for months because I'm not going out of the house or sometimes not even getting out of bed, or because socializing would just be too much (if I know I can't be civil I will not see people to avoid being terrible to them). I've also had a couple manic episodes (I'm not bipolar, they were caused by anti-depressants.) 

So, I've been doing better this past month or so but I'm coming out of about a solid year long major depressive episode (with a manic episode in there), so I am sad because i lost a lot this time. I've accepted that fairly easily, most of it was material things and are easily replaceable or just superfluous. I do miss my Carvin DC727 with BKP Juggernauts, which I sold for 300 bucks to make rent. Having to leave school hurt a lot, but mostly just knowing people decided not to be my friend anymore is what sucks the most. And sometimes, like today, the loneliness becomes a distracting boredom. So I am feeling sad because I miss my friends. 

Tl;dr 
Life is roses and boxes of chocolates ^.~


----------



## HerbalDude420

^Did you ever tell them about yourself? If you gave them the low down and they still when it happened did not want to be friends they may have not been good friends to begin with. When I was feeling lonely and had not many friends I played Counter strike source with a clan and made good friends with them for a whole summer till school.


----------



## Discoqueen

HerbalDude420 said:


> ^Did you ever tell them about yourself? If you gave them the low down and they still when it happened did not want to be friends they may have not been good friends to begin with. When I was feeling lonely and had not many friends I played Counter strike source with a clan and made good friends with them for a whole summer till school.



Yeah, there were all aware I was in a spiral. I think some people could have done more, but I also feel like when it comes to illness there is just going to be a lot of time you have to be alone :/

But yeah, thank god for the internet. Its really the only means I have for socializing  but it is so much better than nothing


----------



## watson503

Just got the call that a friend of mine passed-away this past Saturday. We hadn't seen each other in a year or so, I distanced myself after he went even further over the edge with drugs. I had heard he had gone beyond massive amounts of norco's, soma and iv cocaine use to heroin in the past several months...I lost my little brother to heroin almost ten years ago and now several friends, most who started after dabbling in pills and graduating to that shit.


----------



## DudeManBrother

watson503 said:


> Just got the call that a friend of mine passed-away this past Saturday. We hadn't seen each other in a year or so, I distanced myself after he went even further over the edge with drugs. I had heard he had gone beyond massive amounts of norco's, soma and iv cocaine use to heroin in the past several months...I lost my little brother to heroin almost ten years ago and now several friends, most who started after dabbling in pills and graduating to that shit.


I've lost a lot of friends to that shit as well. Totally sucks when something that seems so innocent, like a couple pills now and then, turns into a full blown heroin addiction; but seems to be the result far too often. Sorry for your loss


----------



## Lindmann

My Bugera 6260 died on me yesterday.
It is the second time in 6 years.

I think I am done with it now.
I'm gonna repair it, sell it and go for a 6506/5150 instead.

Eventhough I really loved the amp I consider it too unreliable now.
I don't want it to break right in the middle of a show.


----------



## Anquished

I no longer have any ERGS (Unless you count the Baritone).

The soonest I can probably get one is after my house move completes. Which is estimated to be anytime between 4 - 6 weeks.


----------



## TedEH

I've been noticing more and more that stuff I used to listen to pretty regularly has just silently disappeared from Spotify. Bunch of Devin Townsend stuff (Ki has been missing forever, Terria is gone, Ziltoid is gone). Some Testament stuff I really like vanished then came back. A local band's stuff was up for a while and is not unavailable. 

I really like the whole idea of Spotify giving you access to this huge wealth of music all the time, but when stuff is suddenly gone it does reinforce that you're no longer in control of what music you have access to anymore (unless you ALSO buy copies of stuff you want). But I don't really want to have to juggle between CDs, digital copies of stuff that I have to shuffle between devices, and subscription accounts - the whole point of Spotify for me was that it would be a one stop shop for listening to whatever. It's still the lowest friction way to get to 90% of what I'd want to listen to, but sometimes you want to hear something and realize it's gone.


----------



## High Plains Drifter

Insomnia + vivid nightmares = one tired and irritated dude.


----------



## Vyn

Feeling pretty bloody alone at the moment. I usually enjoy my own company but these last few nights have been a bit sad. I know I'll be over it in a few more days but right now it's a bit shit


----------



## EverDream

Hey Vyn I read about your depression in the depression and playing guitar thread, that is so horrible what happened in your life, I'm so glad you were able to get back to playing guitar again finally. Are you feeling any less alone or sad yet? I just noticed you posted Saturday so it's been a few days since then... any improvement? Hope you feel better man!


----------



## blacai

Five years in a foreign country, pretty well-paid job related to my background but where I feel no challenges.Also dealing with German(language and people) is quite hard and my social circle is going slowly to reach 0 because of friends leaving the country or getting married+having kids.


----------



## USMarine75

Watching older movies (that I didn't realize were _that _old) and seeing how many of the actors are dead now. I remember when I was a child and my parents used to comment about the same thing when they watched older B&W movies... 

Case in point: Space Balls from 1987. John Candy, Dick Van Patten, Joan Rivers, and John Hurt are all deceased.

On the bright side... Mel Brooks is still going strong in his 90s and Jim J Bullock survived a crystal meth addiction.


----------



## watson503

I got the word yesterday that one of the best friends I've ever had was killed by a drunk driver. Tim was riding home on his Moped when a woman ran over him, she never stopped and drug most of his Moped under her car, all the way to her driveway where she parked and was later arrested - she said she thought he was "roadkill" or a possum...Tim had an inoperable brain tumor and was told he'd be lucky to see 40 - he was 46 when he was hit and killed this past weekend. Tim was one of the kindest people I've ever met, he will be missed, dearly. 







http://kxan.com/2018/02/11/affidavi...ntinues-drive-home-after-hitting-killing-man/


----------



## Vyn

EverDream said:


> Hey Vyn I read about your depression in the depression and playing guitar thread, that is so horrible what happened in your life, I'm so glad you were able to get back to playing guitar again finally. Are you feeling any less alone or sad yet? I just noticed you posted Saturday so it's been a few days since then... any improvement? Hope you feel better man!



Hey man, thanks for checking in  It's been a bit of a roller coaster that's for sure. I've nearly good my skills back to where they were (currently trying to learn a bullshit arrangement of Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata for 7 string in B Standard). I've had a bit of retail therapy in the last couple of days with some new gear (USA Jackson and down-payment on a 6505+ ) which is always a nice boost. It's just some of the nights that still ruin me. My partner and I used to live together - even though it's nearly 4 years on it still feels a bit weird being alone of a night. Yesterday was Valentine's Day which was a nice kick in the pants as well. Just need to put my head down for a bit and ride it out.


----------



## EverDream

Vyn said:


> Hey man, thanks for checking in  It's been a bit of a roller coaster that's for sure. I've nearly good my skills back to where they were (currently trying to learn a bullshit arrangement of Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata for 7 string in B Standard). I've had a bit of retail therapy in the last couple of days with some new gear (USA Jackson and down-payment on a 6505+ ) which is always a nice boost. It's just some of the nights that still ruin me. My partner and I used to live together - even though it's nearly 4 years on it still feels a bit weird being alone of a night. Yesterday was Valentine's Day which was a nice kick in the pants as well. Just need to put my head down for a bit and ride it out.



Wow, that's cool about the new gear, whenever I get new gear it always gets me excited again, which is a feeling I don't feel too often, so that's great you got that at least. Yeah it's still Valentine's day here (for about 25 more minutes, lol), that must have been hard, but at least that's past you now at least. I think you are doing a great job managing considering what happened in your life, a lot of people might not be doing as good, so good for you!  I've never experienced losing a partner, because I've never had one, so I know what loneliness feels like because I have been alone (no partner) my entire life, and isolated for the past 16 years (I'm 34 now), but when you've had someone and then lost them, that I imagine would be even harder because I've always found that it's harder to cope with something once you've had it and then lost it. So yeah you are doing very well, a lot of people, I've noticed, will just drink all the time or turn to drugs to try to bury the pain, but then end up a mess because they become addicted and they ruin their bodies, etc., so yeah you are coping very well given the circumstances, so yeah, good job!  

Just keep thinking about the new gear, that will help, lol, ok see ya around man!


----------



## Vostre Roy

It is currently -43.4C (-46.1F) without the wind where I'm at right now. Its the coldest recorded temperature since 1981, broke a record that dated from 1990.

With the windchill, it is -63C (-81F).

Its cold. Like, freaking cold. Good thing I only go outside for a 10min van ride from my office back to the camp, still enough to freeze one's ass off


----------



## EverDream

Vostre Roy said:


> It is currently -43.4C (-46.1F) without the wind where I'm at right now. Its the coldest recorded temperature since 1981, broke a record that dated from 1990.
> 
> With the windchill, it is -63C (-81F).
> 
> Its cold. Like, freaking cold. Good thing I only go outside for a 10min van ride from my office back to the camp, still enough to freeze one's ass off



OMG, that's like Antarctica cold or something!!


----------



## Vostre Roy

EverDream said:


> OMG, that's like Antarctica cold or something!!



Well I'm closer to the north pole than the south pole but yeah, its in the same temperature ballpark ahah. Should mention that we broke the record for February 17th, not the coldest ever recorded temperature here.

But as of today, we are the 13th coldest town on earth. -46C (-50.8F), -66C (-86.8F) with the windchill


----------



## Metropolis

Vostre Roy said:


> It is currently -43.4C (-46.1F) without the wind where I'm at right now. Its the coldest recorded temperature since 1981, broke a record that dated from 1990.
> 
> With the windchill, it is -63C (-81F).
> 
> Its cold. Like, freaking cold. Good thing I only go outside for a 10min van ride from my office back to the camp, still enough to freeze one's ass off



That is pretty insane, it's only -13C in here right now. Measured record at year 1999 in Finland was -51,5C without the wind. But it hasn't gotten that cold in this town ever, -35C might be close to the record.


----------



## Discoqueen

Vyn said:


> Hey man, thanks for checking in  It's been a bit of a roller coaster that's for sure. I've nearly good my skills back to where they were (currently trying to learn a bullshit arrangement of Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata for 7 string in B Standard). I've had a bit of retail therapy in the last couple of days with some new gear (USA Jackson and down-payment on a 6505+ ) which is always a nice boost. It's just some of the nights that still ruin me. My partner and I used to live together - even though it's nearly 4 years on it still feels a bit weird being alone of a night. Yesterday was Valentine's Day which was a nice kick in the pants as well. Just need to put my head down for a bit and ride it out.



I hope you find more and more comfort as time goes on. You’ve got a lot of resolve and that is very admirable I think, for what it’s worth coming from a random forum member. Wish you all the best


----------



## Vyn

EverDream said:


> Wow, that's cool about the new gear, whenever I get new gear it always gets me excited again, which is a feeling I don't feel too often, so that's great you got that at least. Yeah it's still Valentine's day here (for about 25 more minutes, lol), that must have been hard, but at least that's past you now at least. I think you are doing a great job managing considering what happened in your life, a lot of people might not be doing as good, so good for you!  I've never experienced losing a partner, because I've never had one, so I know what loneliness feels like because I have been alone (no partner) my entire life, and isolated for the past 16 years (I'm 34 now), but when you've had someone and then lost them, that I imagine would be even harder because I've always found that it's harder to cope with something once you've had it and then lost it. So yeah you are doing very well, a lot of people, I've noticed, will just drink all the time or turn to drugs to try to bury the pain, but then end up a mess because they become addicted and they ruin their bodies, etc., so yeah you are coping very well given the circumstances, so yeah, good job!
> 
> Just keep thinking about the new gear, that will help, lol, ok see ya around man!



Thanks for the complements man 

I consider myself very lucky because initially after she passed I did fall down the hole of drinking every night until passing out. One of the things that did save me there was she was never really a drinker and hated drunks. Every time I'd get drunk not only would I be feeling shit from whatever actions I had done and the subsequent hangover but I'd also feel guilty as fuck for becoming someone that she'd hate. That stopped me from going any further thankfully and I managed to pull myself out of that fairly early on in the piece.

I think it's definitely harder dealing with something that you've already once known then lost - however being alone regardless is still fucking hard man. I admire you for coping as well as you do, you're doing a wicked job 

Also, money can't buy you happiness but it can buy you guitars and gear which then can be used to create happiness 



Discoqueen said:


> I hope you find more and more comfort as time goes on. You’ve got a lot of resolve and that is very admirable I think, for what it’s worth coming from a random forum member. Wish you all the best



Thank you  Doesn't matter whether it's from a random forum member, close friend or a figure I look up to, it all means a lot!


----------



## EverDream

Vyn said:


> Thanks for the complements man
> 
> I consider myself very lucky because initially after she passed I did fall down the hole of drinking every night until passing out. One of the things that did save me there was she was never really a drinker and hated drunks. Every time I'd get drunk not only would I be feeling shit from whatever actions I had done and the subsequent hangover but I'd also feel guilty as fuck for becoming someone that she'd hate. That stopped me from going any further thankfully and I managed to pull myself out of that fairly early on in the piece.
> 
> I think it's definitely harder dealing with something that you've already once known then lost - however being alone regardless is still fucking hard man. I admire you for coping as well as you do, you're doing a wicked job
> 
> Also, money can't buy you happiness but it can buy you guitars and gear which then can be used to create happiness



Wow, that was a really good thing that she hated drunkenness then, that really worked out in favor of you not continuing the drinking. Do you want to know something? This is another coincidence for you I guess... (considering how many people on this forum probably like to drink, which is not wrong or anything) but I have never had an alcoholic beverage (or consumed alcohol in any way actually) in my entire life, and I'm not going to either. I've got enough problems with my brain without adding alcohol into the mix, so that's not something I'll ever be willing to do. So naturally I am very much against drunkenness just as your partner was. No one in my family ever had a drinking problem really, but I've come across so many news stories about people who died as a result of someone driving drunk, and heard so many stories of women getting abused (which I greatly despise, since I love women more than I do anything else), that it still bothers me a lot.

Thanks for your admiration for my coping with being alone. What screwed me up was, school was hard for me, I never had a real friend in school the whole 9.5 years I went, just people who hung out with me because they enjoyed how upset I got when they picked on me, and in my last year I was ever in school, it was a year after spending the previous 1.7 years in independent studies, and I had started a new school I had never been to before, and I only made it 1 month and had to go back to independent studies for the rest of the year because I became the laughing stock of the school for something I did (which was something I felt forced to do because of being bullied by a teacher of all things).

I had no friends from the school I was in 1.7 years prior, and 1 month into this school I hadn't made any friends either yet, so when I left that school, that was the last time I was ever in public school, and I had zero friends. To make matters worse, I found out there was a girl there that I had a crush on who was crushing on me too (I didn't find out until the last 2 or 3 days I was there, and it was from a classmate who noticed she was checking me out when I wasn't looking). After that school year ended I dropped out because the school work became too stressful for me to keep up with, and I was mentally unable to complete assignments. I think I was really depressed at the time and I could barely focus on anything, unless it was just some fun hobby with no pressure. For that same reason I was unable to work, so I applied (and got approved) for disability compensation, and I've been living on that ever since.

So because I had no friends when I left school, and because I never went to work anywhere, and because I wasn't interested in going anywhere (and still haven't been to this day) I basically became isolated and have been ever since (for 16 years now). I don't want you getting the wrong impression though, I do live with my single mother, but she annoys me greatly, so interactions with her have been mostly negative because of that, so I just stay in my room, all day, and have now for 16 years. The whole problem is I just get emotionally agitated and overwhelmed extremely easily by things that annoy me. And then my brain malfunctions and I become very unstable until I lay in bed and give it time to calm back down. I haven't desired to go anywhere the whole 16 years, and I don't know why really. I'm not a psychologist, and I can't afford one just being on disability income, as it's just enough money for basic survival, not fixing psychological issues.

I've tried lots of meds, been to lots of doctors, and have been to counseling before, and all it amounts to is a band-aid, and knowledge of how to cope, even though I'm not able to apply the coping techniques when I need them the most, because emotional triggers that come out of nowhere cause an instant change in my mental state with no warning or onset so as to apply any type of coping technique, and once that mental state has changed then I'm basically like a dog with rabies, with the exception that I don't physically touch anyone (as long as they don't touch me), I just scream, and scream, and hiss (when I get really bad, like possessed sometimes), and sometimes hit something if I notice something really sturdy that won't be damaged if I hit it (like the counter top or something), until I run out of energy, at which point I just get in bed and lay there until my sanity is back.

Meds for this type problem just make me sleep all day, since my brain interprets the calming effect of such medicines as drowsiness. I was on medicine like this for 18 years, and I slept like 16 hours a day. I stopped that medicine a few years ago, and I can be triggered easier, but being triggered is not something that happens every day, so taking the medicine every day was needlessly causing me to sleep my whole life away. I take depression medicine every day but that only helps a little. Side effects are at the level of my tolerance limit, so I can't up the dosage without it being more con than pro to take it.

The things that have happened in my life, external to my mind, have not been that bad compared to what some people have gone through, I realize this, but the things that have happened inside of my own mind, cognitively, have really been horrible. My mind has interpreted everything to be magnified in dysphoric intensity somehow, to the point where it's so overwhelming to my emotions that my mind shuts down, while still conscious, whenever I'm exposed to the perceived dysphoric stimuli.

Meanwhile what you've gone through externally to your mind IS really horrible, way worse than anything that's ever happened to me, and you handled it like a champ IMO. I wish my brain was that good. As it stands now it seems like my brain is on course to rob me of my entire life since no matter what I do, or how I think of things, I can't seem to find a will or desire to even exist really. I won't ever try to take my own life, I leave that up to God, nature, the universe, whatever made humans, and I do believe it's something alive and intelligent. I believe this because I feel it within me when I'm mentally dead. In the meantime, as long as I am still alive... I just do, to the best of my ability, what I can to make myself happy, from day to day. If I fail often, it's definitely not because I'm not trying, but because I'm not mentally skilled enough yet, to not fail often. I just think it would be a shame, if I went my whole life failing more often than not, because I never succeeded in becoming mentally skilled enough to succeed more often than not. I just wish I was better at this thing called life.

I'm still alive. I'll keep doing my best to survive life, until I die. Bye for now guys.


----------



## Ernesto

People have no reading comprehension skills these days. I either have to stay out of intellectual conversations, attempt to pad controversial ideas and dumb down my thoughts so an easily offended third grader can understand, or I end up offending people that I don't mean to offend and am trying to help.


----------



## Andrew Lloyd Webber

So I’ve seen.


----------



## narad

Next time on #im40andthisisdeep


----------



## TedEH

Not sure if this goes in the sad or mad thread. But I think I've finally reached my limit with the cat I picked up last year. Despite really not being a cat person, I took in a cat that had been abandoned last year, thinking I was doing a good thing and could make it work, but it's just not working. I feel like the cat has taken over my space, and I'm not able to just be comfortable in my home anymore. The constant threat of it scratching my things (it uses my guitars and amps as scratching posts, despite having provided it with things to scratch), and the fact that it JUST NEVER SLEEPS and keeps me up basically leaves me stressed out 99% of the time whenever I'm at home. It's affecting my mood, my work, etc., so I think it has to go for the sake of my own wellbeing. When I asked on facebook if anyone wanted a cat, everyone insisted that I'm the problem and just need to try harder to entertain it. THAT WASN'T THE POINT. I'm 100% done with trying to work my life and home around a cat - I just want my home back. Cat has to go, even if everyone's gonna call me an asshole for doing it.


----------



## Demiurge

^If it doesn't work, it doesn't work and no one should judge you for it. It was a good thing to try to help a stray, but they may have emotional problems or special needs. I know that people think that shelters encourage adoption of litter mates or "bonded pairs" as a cheap way to offload more animals, but I think that it helps them be socially-healthy. A solo cat with an owner who works and has other things to do may not do well depending on their energy level or personality. Maybe it needs a home with other animals to keep it engaged.


----------



## TedEH

I never thought I'd say this, but I'm incredibly sad that my cat is gone. I had a mild break down the other day shortly before my last cat related post - I had been woken up a couple of hours earlier than I'd have liked, by the cat of course. And work was stressing me out as well. Add to that, I realized today that the cat is going in to heat, which is why she's been so obnoxious lately. I know - I should have had her fixed by now, that's on me. But either way, between work stress and the cat driving me nuts, I woke up and was so mad/frustrated by all the things the cat gets in the way of -> I can't sleep, I can't get any work done, I have to arrange things in my apartment so the cat can't get to them, amps and guitars have to be kept put away so I don't end up playing -> And it was pissing me off to the point that when the cat wakes me up the morning, I'm screaming at the cat to go away. Like I've been having legit screaming fits/tantrums at this stupid cat almost every day this week, which is incredibly unlike me. I'm normally super chill about pretty much everything. So I decided that I needed to make a change, and offered the cat to a friend of a friend who said they'd take it. They have a cat already and wanted a companion for her.

They came by and picked her up 3 hours ago. Within that time I watched a movie, and then had another break down because of how quiet and empty the apartment is. So was I yelling at the cat because the cat was being an asshole, or was the cat the last thing keeping me from breaking down most of the time? I don't know. I just know I'm left incredibly sad and doubting my decision. On one level I think I did the right thing - I'll be able to sleep and relax, and the cat is probably going to a much more capable owner. But on the other hand, it's gonna be lonely here.


----------



## MickD7

My wife’s Mum passed away on Wednesday night. She had cancer and fought all she could. We got married back in October last year and 5 months to the date of our anniversary we lost her. Since we have we got married we have dealt with two family deaths and this one has hit me like a freight train. 

How do you comfort someone who lost the person that carried them into this world, the clothed,fed and bathed them? It’s crippled my mental health which is already is in a questionable state as it is. 

She was the kindest person, she loved us dearly and I could talk to her about anything in the world. She didn’t like heavy music but she would make an effort to support my band and musical endeavours. We travelled England and parts of Europe together as a family (Wife,Me, and her Mum and Dad) 

My wife is a complete and utter mess. 

Everything feels broken. 

Ladies and Gentlemen go home and hug your mothers if you have the chance.


----------



## High Plains Drifter

MickD7 said:


> My wife’s Mum passed away on Wednesday night. She had cancer and fought all she could. We got married back in October last year and 5 months to the date of our anniversary we lost her. Since we have we got married we have dealt with two family deaths and this one has hit me like a freight train.
> 
> How do you comfort someone who lost the person that carried them into this world, the clothed,fed and bathed them? It’s crippled my mental health which is already is in a questionable state as it is.
> 
> She was the kindest person, she loved us dearly and I could talk to her about anything in the world. She didn’t like heavy music but she would make an effort to support my band and musical endeavours. We travelled England and parts of Europe together as a family (Wife,Me, and her Mum and Dad)
> 
> My wife is a complete and utter mess.
> 
> Everything feels broken.
> 
> Ladies and Gentlemen go home and hug your mothers if you have the chance.



My genuine condolences to you both. I've lost both my parents. You can't necessarily "do" anything to ease her pain. The grieving process takes time and sometimes a lengthy one at that. You must continue to comfort her, listen to her, and support her. But obviously you are taking this loss quite hard as well, so you both must allow yourselves to lean on one another as you digest this tragic loss. Allow her to cry, to recount stories/ memories, to scream, to express her anger, and to be weak and vulnerable. You yourself should also feel the right and maybe the responsibility to express these things as well. The emotional pain and the subsequent void will be mended in time and although this event will leave a scar upon your heart, you will get beyond this and ultimately reach acceptance and solace. If you feel that you or your wife are having an unmanageable time dealing with her mother's death, then you can certainly seek professional counseling in order to get through this. One aspect of longer-term "therapy" that helped me when I lost my mom, was memorializing her... something that can be accomplished in many different ways... from visiting a loved ones grave-site, to talking to their spirit, to doing things that make you think of them, etc. These can be simple acts and they can indeed help. Volunteering or making a monetary donation to a cause or organization that she believed in might also be a nice way to pay tribute to her life. Please don't dismiss the fact that you were genuinely fortunate to know this woman, as were others. Sometimes that fact in and of itself can help a grieving person to process the loss. It sounds like she was a pretty terrific lady and I think that after you're able to get beyond the initial grief, that the memories of what a special person she was, will help greatly in not only allowing you to accept this, but in procuring a lifetime of positive feelings regarding her impact on your life and especially in the life of your spouse.

Condolences again, brother.


----------



## MickD7

High Plains Drifter said:


> My genuine condolences to you both. I've lost both my parents. You can't necessarily "do" anything to ease her pain. The grieving process takes time and sometimes a lengthy one at that. You must continue to comfort her, listen to her, and support her. But obviously you are taking this loss quite hard as well, so you both must allow yourselves to lean on one another as you digest this tragic loss. Allow her to cry, to recount stories/ memories, to scream, to express her anger, and to be weak and vulnerable. You yourself should also feel the right and maybe the responsibility to express these things as well. The emotional pain and the subsequent void will be mended in time and although this event will leave a scar upon your heart, you will get beyond this and ultimately reach acceptance and solace. If you feel that you or your wife are having an unmanageable time dealing with her mother's death, then you can certainly seek professional counseling in order to get through this. One aspect of longer-term "therapy" that helped me when I lost my mom, was memorializing her... something that can be accomplished in many different ways... from visiting a loved ones grave-site, to talking to their spirit, to doing things that make you think of them, etc. These can be simple acts and they can indeed help. Volunteering or making a monetary donation to a cause or organization that she believed in might also be a nice way to pay tribute to her life. Please don't dismiss the fact that you were genuinely fortunate to know this woman, as were others. Sometimes that fact in and of itself can help a grieving person to process the loss. It sounds like she was a pretty terrific lady and I think that after you're able to get beyond the initial grief, that the memories of what a special person she was, will help greatly in not only allowing you to accept this, but in procuring a lifetime of positive feelings regarding her impact on your life and especially in the life of your spouse.
> 
> Condolences again, brother.




Thank you for the kind words and advice dude, it’s been a tough time and losing someone like that has certain left us both hurting pretty badly. It’s a good thing we have one and other to lean on.


----------



## Ralyks

Lost my grandma earlier today. The grandparent I was definitely closest to. And my last remaining grandparent. Cancer is definitely an evil incarnate.


----------



## DistinguishedPapyrus

Sad right now because one of my relatives is away on an awesome trip to the beautiful countryside of Italy with her husband and his side of the family, a once-in-a-lifetime type thing... and she doesn't know it as of yet but her father is currently laying in a hospital bed back home where I live. He was admitted right around the time they were just landing in Italy. Not an expected thing either, kinda out of the blue. He was fine and everything was business as usual here when they left. My relative, she's not my sister but she's like a sister to me, it's fucking killing me inside that she has no clue what she's gonna be flying home to. I've barely slept these past few days.

The rest of the family, myself included are kinda distraught, don't really know how to tell them in any kind of easy way. I know it's gonna break her... she's very close to her dad.


----------



## EverDream

DistinguishedPapyrus said:


> Sad right now because one of my relatives is away on an awesome trip to the beautiful countryside of Italy with her husband and his side of the family, a once-in-a-lifetime type thing... and she doesn't know it as of yet but her father is currently laying in a hospital bed back home where I live. He was admitted right around the time they were just landing in Italy. Not an expected thing either, kinda out of the blue. He was fine and everything was business as usual here when they left. My relative, she's not my sister but she's like a sister to me, it's fucking killing me inside that she has no clue what she's gonna be flying home to. I've barely slept these past few days.
> 
> The rest of the family, myself included are kinda distraught, don't really know how to tell them in any kind of easy way. I know it's gonna break her... she's very close to her dad.



If it were me, I'd wait until she gets back to tell her. Otherwise it will spoil her trip to Italy. What happened to him, if you don't mind sharing it? Whenever I hear stories like these where someone is fine and then all of the sudden they are hospitalized, my first thought is always "What happened?". Anyway that's horrible, but at least she has her husband and you for emotional support.


----------



## Kaura

Too much work. I begged my boss to give me a lot of hours before my first half of summer vacation that starts in a few weeks but I don't know if I can make it that far. I like working in manual labor because it's easy mentally but sometimes it can be very taxing on your body.


----------



## PunkBillCarson

For some reason, I'm just not finding a lot of joy in my hobbies. It's like I want to want to play video games, read, and play guitar but when I actually get down to it, it's like "bleh." I don't know why, either. Nothing is wrong, I don't think, I just don't find joy in it right now.


----------



## John

I feel sorry for Isis, as in the band from California, for being dragged through the mud unnecessarily because of their name.

P.S.- if you are considering forming an extremist cell, please name it Coldplay.


----------



## p0ke

PunkBillCarson said:


> For some reason, I'm just not finding a lot of joy in my hobbies. It's like I want to want to play video games, read, and play guitar but when I actually get down to it, it's like "bleh." I don't know why, either. Nothing is wrong, I don't think, I just don't find joy in it right now.



Been there too, man. Don't worry, it'll pass  I lost interest in video games some time ago too, I just kept feeling "can't this end already so I can do something else". I still don't enjoy playing video games like I did when I was younger, but I found myself a new hobby in home improvement that I've really enjoyed lately. I'd say you just need to switch things around a bit to find what makes you happy right now, and once you've done something new for a while, you might start enjoying the old stuff again. If you feel like you don't really enjoy doing anything at the moment, then don't force yourself to do anything.


----------



## TedEH

p0ke said:


> "can't this end already so I can do something else"


I've usually found that when I'm in that mood it's because there's something else in particular that I'd rather be doing. The very simple solution, if that's the case, is just to give in and go do that thing.


----------



## p0ke

TedEH said:


> I've usually found that when I'm in that mood it's because there's something else in particular that I'd rather be doing. The very simple solution, if that's the case, is just to give in and go do that thing.



Yeah, except I used to have that feeling even though I didn't have anything specific to do.


----------



## TedEH

Yeh, I hear that.

I've had some days where I just had no idea what to do with myself. Might be doing something you have to do thinking "man, when will this end, I want to be doing anything else right now", then you finish that thing, have a whole day left and think... "ah great... now I don't know what to do, and nothing sounds appealing right now".

Sometimes just gatta pick a thing and do it anyway. Might be enough of a pickup, might not. Who knows.


----------



## p0ke

TedEH said:


> Yeh, I hear that.
> 
> I've had some days where I just had no idea what to do with myself. Might be doing something you have to do thinking "man, when will this end, I want to be doing anything else right now", then you finish that thing, have a whole day left and think... "ah great... now I don't know what to do, and nothing sounds appealing right now".
> 
> Sometimes just gatta pick a thing and do it anyway. Might be enough of a pickup, might not. Who knows.



Yeah, the mind's an interesting thing. When I have a day like you described I just don't do anything. Haven't had one in a long time though, I always have to do something  But what I mean is that it's not a crime to just idle out sometimes


----------



## watson503

Just heard Ralph Santolla is in a coma, he suffered a heart attack and things are not looking well.


----------



## A-Branger

I live on an island, resort thingy. Been here for 9 months. I recently found a chick which happens to be of my age (34), first chick I ever date thats my own age, which on this island is pretty weird to find, average age here is like 24 lol. 

I only got to go out with her for a few weeks, now she left today  shes been here for 3 years, also recently broke with her ex one of reasons why she wanted to leave.

so although it was cool the little time we spend, it sucks I had to meet her on her last few days  and that she jsut left today

might see her in a month as we planing a snow trip tho


----------



## mongey

was chatting to a ex band mate via messenger and he asked what am I doing musically at the moment and my honest reply of fucking nothing made me sad to type


----------



## Spicypickles

RIP to Anthony Bourdain. Apparently he hung himself. 

I own several of his books, couple cookbooks etc. Loved his shows, his wit and dry humour. I don’t typically get bummed out over people I’ve never met, but this one stings, deep. 

At the very least, I hope it was an auto asphyxiation thing, and he finished.


----------



## Ralyks

Anthony Bourdain


----------



## BlackMastodon

I read through the whole "Steel Panther Made a Shitty Patch Name and it Got Changed" thread.

Jesus Christ, no site is safe from people with dog shit opinions I guess.


----------



## TedEH

I honestly don't think that thread was going that horribly before it was closed. But, oh well. Edit: Unless I'm the one with the terrible opinion


----------



## BlackMastodon

Not to resurrect the thread here but there was some juvenile shit there, you were eloquent even if I didn't necessarily agree with your points. It was one way to spend the last hour or so of my work day though.


----------



## PunkBillCarson

What really got me about that thread was that several musicians backed the toneprint as it was and the petition to bring it back had twice as many signatures the day after it was made than the one that got the toneprint taken down in the first place. I go back to that thread to post it, and it was closed.


----------



## wedge_destroyer

I'm single unwillingly after 8 years, but to hell with it and to hell with her. Atleast I've got a bottle and won't be accused of cheating when im not doing anything. So guess that's a small bonus.


----------



## Edika

My wife and kids went back home for a few weeks until I join them. I've been 3 weeks by myself and still got three more weeks to go. I get to do all the things I did before I had kids, aside going out with people as my work schedule lately has been inverse from everyone else, and it just seems so meaningless. Yes I enjoy staying late but I still wake up early. I've managed to fix things around the house and play guitar whenever I want, in normal hours, and as loud as I want. 

I see them almost everyday and speak with them but it's just not the same. I've missed my sons first steps and I've had my daughter crying and saying she misses me a couple of times and asking me everyday if I'm joining them tomorrow (she's close to four). I know they're having fun most of time and have the opportunity to see the extended family more and that's the only thing that balances things out but man does it hurt some days. It's so strange but when I have them around all the time I want just a bit of free time to do my thing and wonder how cool it was being single or have no kids. Then they're away for a while and I realize how empty my life is without them.


----------



## possumkiller

Because after 35 years Dave Mustaine still can't move on and let it go.


----------



## TedEH

I don't know how to put this exactly, but I keep finding myself on the losing ends of debates, and I'm worried they're making me look bad to the people around me. I can't tell if it's a matter of doing a poor job of communicating my points, or if I'm actually wrong, or what. In some cases it's something that either impacts me directly, or that I have strong opinions about, but I keep ending up in debates where it's several people against me, and nobody else is on my side. So I'm either "that guy with strong opinions" in a bad way, or I have to live with decisions that I don't entirely agree with.


----------



## bostjan

TedEH said:


> I don't know how to put this exactly, but I keep finding myself on the losing ends of debates, and I'm worried they're making me look bad to the people around me. I can't tell if it's a matter of doing a poor job of communicating my points, or if I'm actually wrong, or what. In some cases it's something that either impacts me directly, or that I have strong opinions about, but I keep ending up in debates where it's several people against me, and nobody else is on my side. So I'm either "that guy with strong opinions" in a bad way, or I have to live with decisions that I don't entirely agree with.



Your opinions always seem reasonable to me, and you've always seemed to state your points here very well.

Oh crap, did that just disprove your point?  

Not sure if this helps, but I could commiserate. I just recently got out of a situation where I was just simply around a great number of people who disagreed with me all of the time. It become obvious, eventually, that some of the disagreements were merely because these people started really enjoying disagreeing with me. After a few years of that nonsense, some people have gone away, and I had a few moments where it really mattered that I was right, and I managed to prove myself, and things have started getting better since then. I'd say that you can stick it out and it'll get better, but probably there is an element there as well of distancing yourself from certain people who clash with you.

At the end of the day, there are people who are your friends and people who are not your friends. I guess either can agree or disagree with you any fraction of the time. Agreeing and disagreeing is part of conversation, and if I disagree with a friend (I often do), it's very rarely ever personal, and we can almost always move on from the debate in an instant. If I have a disagreement with an unfriendly person, it tends to get drawn out until I realize that the person is just never going to change my mind, nor vice-versa, so there is just no sense in debating.


----------



## Ordacleaphobia

TedEH said:


> I don't know how to put this exactly, but I keep finding myself on the losing ends of debates, and I'm worried they're making me look bad to the people around me. I can't tell if it's a matter of doing a poor job of communicating my points, or if I'm actually wrong, or what. In some cases it's something that either impacts me directly, or that I have strong opinions about, but I keep ending up in debates where it's several people against me, and nobody else is on my side. So I'm either "that guy with strong opinions" in a bad way, or I have to live with decisions that I don't entirely agree with.



I don't think you should trip. As long as you communicate in person the way you do here, you'll be fine. People tend to respect folks who stick by their principles when others challenge them, even if it's about something dumb. And the people in your life who matter are not the people that will get judgey because you said Master of Puppets is better than Ride the Lightning, or something equally heretical. 

Cheers.
-That Guy with Strong Opinions


----------



## lurè

Ordacleaphobia said:


> Master of Puppets is better than Ride the Lightning



It is


----------



## TedEH

It's occurred to me, in retrospect, that it makes sense on some level that the things that I'm most vocal about are the things where my opinion is going to differ from someone else. If there's no disagreement, there's nothing to talk about. I've also developed a bit of a habit of jumping into discussions that people already feel strongly about in some way.

I do think the part that frustrates me is that I tend to make simple statements, but then people sort of "read between the lines" and extract some kind of meaning from my statement that is far from what I meant to say. They sort of over-characterize my arguments so that they can present a counter-argument, not to what I said, but to what they think I was ultimately implying.

For context,
What I actually said was: I don't think ROMs are a good solution to game preservation, and I think a lot of people are leaning on preservation as an excuse to keep getting free stuff. Archiving and preserving things is distinct from giving everyone 100% free access to copies of everything.
What people interpreted that to mean was: Video games aren't worth preserving, people who pirate anything are always ethically wrong, and we should delete all archive copies of everything.
What I meant to say is: Piracy in this sense _can_ be a grey area, but lets not call it something it's not. The preservation effort is a legit issue, and there is an overlap, and it's worth discussing, but on a basic level people just want stuff for free, and I think we need to admit that to ourselves in order to move forward. Video games _are_ worth preserving, but the indiscriminate distribution of every game ever for free is not really the right way to do it. Something does't have to be free to be preserved - there is a middle ground between something being lost to time, and everyone being entitled to free access to everything.


----------



## Seabeast2000

lurè said:


> It is


Time to make some fucking bumper stickers on this one. [juts chin up, stomps one foot]


----------



## TedEH

Finally got a nice quiet weekend to myself aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand... sick the whole time. Some kind of stomach bug? Food poisoning maybe? I attended a bbq not too long ago where I'm now awfully suspicious the burgers were not nearly cooked enough.


----------



## justin_time

I overpracticed some guitar parts and hurt my forearm, this is now week 5 of it still not being fully healed, I am like the opposite of wolverine.


----------



## Kaura

Accidentally squished a spider.  It was a fast and huge fucker so it was difficult to catch it. But I wanted it out because of that and while I was searching for it I realised it had already made a home behind my pc which was full of cobwebs so it was time to kick it out before it had a chance to invite its friends.


----------



## chipchappy

RIP Mac. Guy was wicked talented.


----------



## BusinessMan

I just turned 24 on this last Saturday and no one seemed to give a shit. My mom made me lunch, but that’s about it. A couple of friends wished my happy bday and the like but no one gave a rats ass. No one even got me any small little gifts or even some candy I enjoy; not even my fiancé. It has just been really bringing me down ever since and is just really making me sad. And yet everyone expects so much from me when it’s their bday and now I couldn’t give two fcuks


----------



## Demiurge

^That really sucks. I mean, it was a Saturday- someone should have at least availed themselves to get you a drink or something.

Not that it's much of a salve right now, but, that said, birthdays will eventually become a nuisance as you get older. Time begins to get very slippery, and focusing on its passage is the worst.

Birthdays are like New Years Eve Part 2 where you have another set division in time to feel compelled to reflect: "Oh, another year has passed- and what did I accomplish?" There are the landmarks that seem to draw people out of the woodwork- even though they're the worst ones- then you get to think about the next landmark. Hurray, I get to think about turning 38 AND its proximity to 40!


----------



## TedEH

I haven't even quite reached 30 yet, but I'm already at that point of appreciating that nobody makes a big deal of birthdays anymore. Doesn't help that it's shortly after xmas and newyears already, so I'm completely done with being social by the time bday comes around. I've always looked it them all kind of similarly anyway in that they're sort of "for the kids". The farther I get from being a kid, and having no kids of my own, those events become less and less about me - which is great, because it means you have the freedom to inject whatever meaning/value you want into them. Nobody around on your birthday? Awesome. Make it a "you" day. Go do something that you never get to do because the people around you don't share your enthusiasm for it. Screw them, it's your day, amirite?


----------



## MaxOfMetal

BusinessMan said:


> I just turned 24 on this last Saturday and no one seemed to give a shit. My mom made me lunch, but that’s about it. A couple of friends wished my happy bday and the like but no one gave a rats ass. No one even got me any small little gifts or even some candy I enjoy; not even my fiancé. It has just been really bringing me down ever since and is just really making me sad. And yet everyone expects so much from me when it’s their bday and now I couldn’t give two fcuks



I think you should talk about this, with your fiancé especially. 

Don't worry, no one who matters is going to think less of you and if it makes you feel bad it's definitely worth bringing up.


----------



## p0ke

I guess if you haven't made a big deal (or any deal) out of celebrating your birthday before, people might think you don't really care? I personally don't give a shit about celebrating my birthday, so I don't really expect anything more than people wishing me a happy birthday if they know it's my birthday. My wife on the other hand pretty much expects the whole day to be reserved for her and I do my best to surprise her in various ways. But if she did the same for me, it'd just be awkward.



TedEH said:


> I've always looked it them all kind of similarly anyway in that they're sort of "for the kids".



Yeah, same here. I'm turning 30 next year and have kids, so all the celebrations are just for them, really. Except when I turn 30, I will have an adults only party, but we'll see how that turns out. Maybe I'll just invite all my friends on a boat cruise or something...


----------



## TedEH

I pose a strange question for the sadness thread:. Does anyone else get strangely sad the day after a really good day?

I mentioned something like this to a friend, thinking it was a universal experience, but apparently it's not. Everyone has good and bad days, but I find that I respond to peaks in mood by swinging almost as strongly in the opposite direction the day after. Like if you plotted my mood, it would be a pretty consistent wave, rather rather than a series of unrelated points. A great day is always followed by a miserable day. A bad day is always followed by one where I'm cool with everything, etc until eventually settling at a neutral mood again. 

Yesterday I spontaneously joined some co-workers to get dinner and go see some amateur standup and just have an overall very social and enjoyable evening - but today I'm just sad for no reason. It's like the absence of yesterday's highs just drag me down. A neutral day next to a great day feels terrible by comparison. Does that make any sense to anyone?

To answer the question the thread poses:. Why am I sad right now? I have no idea.


----------



## DistinguishedPapyrus

Hurricane Michael...

Sad to see all the damage that's happened to the Panama City area in Florida. This is my home state, I live just a short way away from the most heavily hit areas... just feel wrecked for these people. It really wasn't bad where I'm at, I caught the outer bands of the storm, the power flickered a few times and we had some rain and wind throughout the day, but Panama City, it's like a war zone. I'm seeing dozens of pictures on Facebook and from co-workers, one of whom just moved in from that area about a year ago and still has friends and family in the there. Homes, businesses, trees, and all sorts of other properties just whipped to shreds.

It peaked at 155 mph sustained winds, just 2 mph shy of being a category 5. It was the strongest storm ever recorded to hit this region of the coast, and the third strongest to make landfall in the US measuring by barometric pressure. There's actually a website where you can see weather bouy data, and one bouy in the gulf measured a 30 foot wave height before it went offline yesterday... 

Just kind of a sobering thought, that could've easily been me if it had turned a little more.


----------



## Vyn

Made some rather poor financial choices when I was younger (18 and credit cards, worst combination ever). I've been working my arse off over the last 8 or so years to correct them and I'm nearly at the point where I don't have bills coming out to pay financial companies (which is actually a massively good thing). However I've kind of crawled into a depressive shock because for a while getting out of debt was my only focus and I never stopped to think of what to do afterwards.

TL;DR - Nearly out of debt, freaking out because NFI what to do with life now.


----------



## Demiurge

^This reminds me of a commercial that has been airing around where I am: it's a series of vignettes where people are about to do things like buy a house or get married but they're physically stuck, like the car door won't open in front of the house for sale or the bride is stuck at the far end of the aisle. It's for a financial services company and the tag is something like, "Is debt keeping you from living your life?" Yet it paints all landmark events as ones that involve an outlay of money.

So, I guess the point is that you need to pay off your debt so you can incur more debt. And then you also save to save money so you can not-work for a few years before you die. Yay!


----------



## cwhitey2

MaxOfMetal said:


> I think you should talk about this, with your fiancé especially.
> 
> Don't worry, no one who matters is going to think less of you and if it makes you feel bad it's definitely worth bringing up.


She wouldn't be my fiancé for long I can tell you that much.

I'm 31 and still celebrate every birthday like I'm 21 

I still have friends that still take each other out for birthday drinks and stuff (I'm one of them). Fuck...my dad and I went on a week long vacation this year to Colorado for my birthday


----------



## Vyn

Demiurge said:


> ^This reminds me of a commercial that has been airing around where I am: it's a series of vignettes where people are about to do things like buy a house or get married but they're physically stuck, like the car door won't open in front of the house for sale or the bride is stuck at the far end of the aisle. It's for a financial services company and the tag is something like, "Is debt keeping you from living your life?" Yet it paints all landmark events as ones that involve an outlay of money.
> 
> So, I guess the point is that you need to pay off your debt so you can incur more debt. And then you also save to save money so you can not-work for a few years before you die. Yay!



I think I worked out that in 2-3 years I would have a good amount of coin for a house deposit but at this point I'd rather pay rent simply because the thought of having a 30 year loan after just becoming debt free makes me want to vomit.


----------



## BrailleDecibel

TedEH said:


> I pose a strange question for the sadness thread:. Does anyone else get strangely sad the day after a really good day?
> 
> I mentioned something like this to a friend, thinking it was a universal experience, but apparently it's not. Everyone has good and bad days, but I find that I respond to peaks in mood by swinging almost as strongly in the opposite direction the day after. Like if you plotted my mood, it would be a pretty consistent wave, rather rather than a series of unrelated points. A great day is always followed by a miserable day. A bad day is always followed by one where I'm cool with everything, etc until eventually settling at a neutral mood again.
> 
> Yesterday I spontaneously joined some co-workers to get dinner and go see some amateur standup and just have an overall very social and enjoyable evening - but today I'm just sad for no reason. It's like the absence of yesterday's highs just drag me down. A neutral day next to a great day feels terrible by comparison. Does that make any sense to anyone?
> 
> To answer the question the thread poses:. Why am I sad right now? I have no idea.


To be completely honest, I also am afflicted with this, and never really noticed said trend until I read your post. I had a blue-ribbon baby of a day yesterday, jammed my geetarz, went to the gym, and then a BBQ at my best friend's place. Now here I am in the morning, all my problems still very much present after the healing salve of yesterday's awesomeness, and while it isn't a full-out bad day yet, if shit doesn't turn around soon, it will be before long. Thanks for clearing that up man!


----------



## TedEH

I do tend to wonder at times if maybe this emotional "wave" thing I keep describing is just a defense mechanism of some kind for me. Like right now, I feel like I'm in that same low part of the wave, where the last few days were pretty great, but this morning, my luck is turning against me. In particular, I was sort of riding this recent urge to be very social and decided to have some people over from work near the end of the month, make a halloween shindig out of it - but someone else also is throwing a party and sort of invited all the same people, who are now bailing on me. If I had just not bothered trying to host an event (the high point), I would never have to experience it's failure either (the associated low point). So maybe my tendency is to just stay in that neutral zone of not taking much emotional risk - and in the cases that I take the risk, leaving that comfort zone provides the high, but the inevitable failures that come with risk drag me in the other direction soon after.

And being sad puts me in an analytical mood. As if I'd rather occupy myself shallowly deconstructing my behaviors than just give up and be sad.


----------



## PunkBillCarson

Over the course of the last few months, I've come to terms with the fact that my upbringing wasn't exactly optimal in terms of mental and emotional health (my mother was physically abusive, and my step-father enabled her behavior), they both favor my brother and his wife and my suspicion of that is the fact that they can give them grandchildren while my wife and I cannot (my wife has a weak cervix and cannot carry past a certain point). My wife and I have lost children due to this, and something that really irked me last week was when my wife and I were tagged by my sister-in-law when she said "been waiting so long for this." She got pregnant AGAIN after the last child they had which was two years ago.

I guess it makes us assholes that us can't be happy for them the way we should, but a big factor in this is the fact that they are class A fuck ups. Neither will hold a job for very long. My brother has literally pissed two jobs away, one of those while their first was on the way. Meanwhile, my wife and I have scratched and fucking clawed, shed countless tears over what we have been through. I don't know, I guess my own envy is keeping me from supporting them, but I'm honestly at the point where I've been the black sheep for so long, I don't really care.

I'm also not a fan of them smoking weed around their child because "smoking weed is better than smoking cigarettes around them." I'm sorry, I didn't know that secondhand smoke from ANYTHING was necessarily "good." I don't even feel a connection to their first child because they never bring her around, but then expect us to come to all their little fucking events, and if we don't, my mother gets all bent out of shape about it. That's right... The mother that used to beat me for not understanding my math homework wants me to go to anything that has to do with my brother; the same one who got high on pills hit a stop sign and she thought our actual Dad was being too hard on him because he threatened to take him out of football. At this point, I'm honestly just fucking done and I'm a phone call away from telling her, my brother, and my step father exactly how I feel about all of this shit.


----------



## p0ke

PunkBillCarson said:


> ... At this point, I'm honestly just fucking done and I'm a phone call away from telling her, my brother, and my step father exactly how I feel about all of this shit.



Well, I guess you should, really. But I'd suggest calming down as much as possible first so you can tell them in a reasonable way instead of raging away. You'd need to make it clear that it's not just a one time thing, and that you've been trying to live with the situation and just can't handle it anymore.

About your mom and step-father favoring your brother: I'm guessing he's a younger brother? Even me and my sister have gotten very different treatments even though my mom is nowhere near abusive or anything (slightly depressed maybe, but not in a way that I ever noticed as a kid) - my sister rode her moped into a street sign while drunk and didn't get any kind of punishment, meanwhile I was constantly complained at for not getting straight A's in school (I did get mostly A's, mind you... ). She just had much less limitations than I ever did. I was allowed to drink beer at home when I was 16 but only at home - my sister was allowed to go to house parties and get shitfaced when she was 15


----------



## PunkBillCarson

Younger brother, yes. They show him so much enthusiasm than they've ever shown my wife and I. As far as my mother being abusive, she used to lock her door, do drugs, and leave very little in the kitchen. She would wake me up at 3 in the morning on a school day because she thought the dryer was on fire and she would tell me to go check outside (the dryer is inside) to see. When I was 17, she told me to get out because I told her that her drug habit was bankrupting the house. Naturally, a few years later, they lost the house.

She still smokes weed and I've even witnessed her lifting a fucking couch to find a roach (marijuana) and then resigning to scraping the resin off the inside of the pipe. I'm coming to terms with all of this now and I know that if I brought it up, any of it, they would all just say I'm jealous (they've got a point) and they would ask if I was a perfect little angel. In all honesty, no, I wasn't, but the environment didn't exactly help. Step-dad also gone because he was in the military, believed every word my mother told him, so when I finally got sick of beaten slapped and smacked because she didn't know which way was up, guess who the bad guy still was? Me. Guess who the asshole was that needed to do what my mother told me? Me. Sorry, Mom, you want me to turn my face towards you so you can slap it a little harder? Want me to give you my shoulder so you can beat the fuck out of it, just because I have a learning disability?

I eventually did move to my Dad's, got better grades, graduated high school and got the job I have now. For the most part I'm doing great, but I've experienced a massive emotional upheaval lately and I'm being forced to confront these latent nightmares and I don't know what to do. It's taken 11 years for this to resurface and I've been having a very tough time emotionally dealing with it. No one wants to admit they're the victims of abuse because it seems so terrible, but sometimes, you look back and realize some very fucked shit was going on.


----------



## cwhitey2

@PunkBillCarson damn dude that whole situation sucks 

In all honesty, if I were you I would cut my ties with my family. It sounds like they are very toxic and I wouldn't want that shit in my life. I feel like you need to focus on you and your wife's happiness over your mothers because at the end of the day it sounds like no matter what you do she will never be happy with you or happy in general.


----------



## Ebony

PunkBillCarson said:


> At this point, I'm honestly just fucking done and I'm a phone call away from telling her, my brother, and my step father exactly how I feel about all of this shit.



Do it.


----------



## MFB

PunkBillCarson said:


> I eventually did move to my Dad's, got better grades, graduated high school and got the job I have now.



That doesn't sound very punk at all


----------



## PunkBillCarson

MFB said:


> That doesn't sound very punk at all




Lol the "Punk" in my name isn't used to describe me, it was used to describe the genre of one of my favorite punk bands (Bad Religion).


----------



## TedEH

I've been complaining about it a lot, but it's happened again - an arguably really great day has left me emotionally and socially drained, and feeling a bit defeated. I keep wanting to go out and be social because in the moment there are small moments that feel great to be a part of at the time, but as soon as I'm back on my own I start feeling terrible. I know staying isolated and closed off all the time isn't good for me, but there's at least some comfort to be found in that consistent and neutral "just-ok-ness" of not trying to connect with anyone else.


----------



## Vyn

TedEH said:


> I've been complaining about it a lot, but it's happened again - an arguably really great day has left me emotionally and socially drained, and feeling a bit defeated. I keep wanting to go out and be social because in the moment there are small moments that feel great to be a part of at the time, but as soon as I'm back on my own I start feeling terrible. I know staying isolated and closed off all the time isn't good for me, but there's at least some comfort to be found in that consistent and neutral "just-ok-ness" of not trying to connect with anyone else.



Fucking hell, feeling this 100%. It's that horrid mix of kinda wanting to be around people but there's a risk you'll feel worse. On the other hand being alone/isolated is brutal but at least it's a known constant.

It's cyclic at times as well. I took a rather large social/personal risk about 7-8 months ago that seemed like it was paying off, now it looks like to blow up big time and I'm ready to go back to being a hermit again. Life was peaceful and I got fucking GOOD at guitar at least :/


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## PunkBillCarson

^Feeling you both on that. Even on the best day with a couple of friends, you're left feeling kind of empty, like you gave it your all when it may have been nothing more than chilling and listening to music. It's getting to be Fall weather and I normally like my wife and I have to have that time to ourselves, so I'm pretty sure it's only a matter of time before someone gets pissy and worrying so much about me not wanting to hang out. Happens every time someone gets close, mainly because even though I'm mostly a hermit other than my wife, the interaction is nice, but as good as it is, it still doesn't quite hit the comfort of KNOWING that I'm comfortable if that makes sense and when the interaction is done, I'll go a couple of weeks, taking time to myself, and then people get offended when I don't message back on Facebook or something.


----------



## Ordacleaphobia

I've been kinda feeling something like that too, but on a more person-focused level.
I have this friend I've known since...I don't even remember, probably freshman year of high school. We never really got along _that_ well but it was a mutual friends kind of thing so we learned to be around each other. After a few years, I got kind of tired of dealing with with him and we stopped hanging out. 

Fast forward _*another*_ couple years, and now we get along great. I mean we still snipe at each other because it'd be weird at this point if we didn't, but we have an honest good time. 
But, as of like a couple months ago, he's just a major league asshole again. And I keep chilling with him both because it was fun hanging out for the last couple of years so on some level I just expect that to continue, and also because he's tied up with all of my friends- it's tough to _*not*_ hang with this dude. Then I get disappointed and annoyed when he acts like a dickweed again.

I'm not a really sociable guy, so making new friends is a huge, huge problem for me. Even if it wasn't, I don't like writing people off, especially people I have history with, but damn guys- this dude just kind of sucks. Do you guys have that? That friend that isn't really a 'friend' but has always just kind of been there, and it'd be weird if they weren't?


----------



## TedEH

^ I dunno that I know anyone quite like that, but I do generally recognize that the people I spend the most time with end up being the people I have the most complaints about. Just by virtue of being the people I have the most stories about in general, I think.

I've been reflecting more on my weird complaints lately, and I think I can deconstruct the source of my mood changes now that some time has passed. Part of it I think is just being introverted, in the proper sense of the term-> being in social situations is draining. It doesn't mean I don't enjoy being social, because I do, but having to later process the events of being in very social situations can leave me emotionally drained, thus the mood drop after having a good time.


----------



## PunkBillCarson

So revisiting the situation from above, I decided I'm going to write a letter to my mother and send it to her. From the moment the letter drops into the mailbox to be sent, everything will be off my chest and I'll have nothing to worry about, because it'll no longer be my concern. All the bullshit she put me through will be returned to sender.


----------



## TedEH

I feel like taking a moment to acknowledge how sh*tty "gamers" can be to the people who work incredibly hard to create things for everyone. Yes, this is prompted by the Diablo thing, but I mean it just in general. The attitude of people is enough to do some serious damage to people who are already in an industry known for crushing the souls of their employees with things like excessive overtime. I'm not part of that team, or related to it in any way, but I've been in a similar boat, and it will never not make me sad whenever this happens. It doesn't matter if you don't like what your favorite entertainment company does - there are real people on the receiving end of all that criticism. This, as is appropriate for the thread, makes me sad.


----------



## MaxOfMetal

TedEH said:


> I feel like taking a moment to acknowledge how sh*tty "gamers" can be to the people who work incredibly hard to create things for everyone. Yes, this is prompted by the Diablo thing, but I mean it just in general. The attitude of people is enough to do some serious damage to people who are already in an industry known for crushing the souls of their employees with things like excessive overtime. I'm not part of that team, or related to it in any way, but I've been in a similar boat, and it will never not make me sad whenever this happens. It doesn't matter if you don't like what your favorite entertainment company does - there are real people on the receiving end of all that criticism. This, as is appropriate for the thread, makes me sad.



I feel you dude. 

I think folks just see _the_ _company_ when they buy a product, and not all the folks that work their asses off to make that product happen. 

No one wants to make junk, and you can do your small part perfectly, but the big picture might turn out badly at the end. 

I make a product that some folks hate with an absolute burning passion from which I don't understand. But I don't take it personally. I do my job, kick fucking ass at it, collect my (very good) paycheck and move on.

We see posts like that a lot here, because guitar nerds, and really all nerds, can get absolutely silly angry about stuff when it's not what we want it to be. Because it's out hobby. It's important to us and feel hurt if something isn't good.

Not sure I really have anything to say, just rambling. Hope the folks that worked hard rebound.


----------



## MFB

The problem here is that the product is a reskin of another companies product, and the original company is helping work on the "new" game.

If you want to talk about employee exploitation and thinking of the company, sights should be set on Rockstar.


----------



## TedEH

MFB said:


> The problem here is that


I literally don't care what the problem is. Nothing justifies being that sh*tty to other people. The rest of the conversation is irrelevant.

We can talk about the actual product when people learn to have that conversation respectfully.


----------



## TedEH

MaxOfMetal said:


> I make a product that some folks hate with an absolute burning passion from which I don't understand.


I've worked on some games that have been received very poorly. I've also worked on some products that were well received, but the part I contributed was billed as the worst part of the product. I also occasionally work on things that have very passionate fan bases, and there's a constantly looming threat that once things actually come out, the audience is going to tear you a new one with no regard for the huge amount of time and effort that went into it.


----------



## p0ke

TedEH said:


> I've worked on some games that have been received very poorly. I've also worked on some products that were well received, but the part I contributed was billed as the worst part of the product. I also occasionally work on things that have very passionate fan bases, and there's a constantly looming threat that once things actually come out, the audience is going to tear you a new one with no regard for the huge amount of time and effort that went into it.



Yep. I develop Android-apps and it's always really nice to see the 1-star "horrible piece of shit" reviews in the Play Store. Our main product still has a rating of just over 3/5 there though, so I guess it can't be that bad considering it's got many such reviews. Especially since most of those state something like "started it, didn't like the splash screen, uninstalled".


----------



## MaxOfMetal

TedEH said:


> I've worked on some games that have been received very poorly. I've also worked on some products that were well received, but the part I contributed was billed as the worst part of the product. I also occasionally work on things that have very passionate fan bases, and there's a constantly looming threat that once things actually come out, the audience is going to tear you a new one with no regard for the huge amount of time and effort that went into it.



There will always be that risk, but the most important thing is to separate yourself from it. 

I don't mean to say not to have passion, but that the only person you should be working that hard for is you. 

It's not like anyone is going to think "boy, that TedEH guy really ruined my favorite thing on purpose", so meet that level of detachment. 

It doesn't help that angry, negative people tend to be significantly louder than the happy, positive folks.


----------



## TedEH

MaxOfMetal said:


> It's not like anyone is going to think "boy, that TedEH guy really ruined my favorite thing on purpose", so meet that level of detachment.


I appreciate the sentiment, but sometimes I think some gamers *do* think like this. There's a lot of "you ruined a good thing on purpose to squeeze money out of people" sentiment out there. Especially if you work on anything mobile that didn't start off as mobile. I wish I could say I've never been in that exact boat... but I've been there.

One of the first games I worked on professionally was released to pretty cold reception - which was rough at the time, but I got over it pretty quickly - and to be fair it wasn't an amazing game by any stretch - but I'm still listed as a dev on Steam, which means any time someone comments on the forums to complain about how the game was abandoned, or to demand that we fix compatibility with their hardware, or that we add features, or to say that we're just a not-very-good rip off of some similar games, I get notified of it.  I don't think we own the license/IP/anything for that game anymore.

I get people from the communities from games I've worked on who think it's appropriate to seek me out and add me on steam chat (and occasionally elsewhere, facebook, etc) to get me to personally troubleshoot the game for them when they have trouble with it.

I had an interesting sort of revelation the other day when visiting family. Shortly after the news that Telltale was shutting down, my niece (who is maybe 8?) went on a huge rant about how the Walking Dead game HAS TO be finished and that there will be some raging 8-year-old hell to pay if it doesn't get completed. She was convinced that one of the voice actors must love the game as much as she does, so they'll just take the project home and finish it, right? I tried to explain, as best I could to someone who has no idea how the world works, that it's not as simple as that, and that it's mind-bogglingly expensive to make something like that. I then remembered that this enraged 8-year-old has full access to the internet. For every time I've had to put up with a childish attitude, it doesn't often occur to me that I might actually be dealing with a child.

But, to swing it back to the original story -> Sometimes it's not children, it's just adults with the maturity level of a child. There's a video, I think it's parts of the announcement for that Diablo game, where the devs were literally boo'd on stage. How sh*tty a human being do you have to be, as an adult, to boo someone for creating entertainment for you? These aren't children, they're adults. There's no excuse. I have zero respect for that.


----------



## MaxOfMetal

TedEH said:


> I appreciate the sentiment, but sometimes I think some gamers *do* think like this. There's a lot of "you ruined a good thing on purpose to squeeze money out of people" sentiment out there. Especially if you work on anything mobile that didn't start off as mobile. I wish I could say I've never been in that exact boat... but I've been there.
> 
> One of the first games I worked on professionally was released to pretty cold reception - which was rough at the time, but I got over it pretty quickly - and to be fair it wasn't an amazing game by any stretch - but I'm still listed as a dev on Steam, which means any time someone comments on the forums to complain about how the game was abandoned, or to demand that we fix compatibility with their hardware, or that we add features, or to say that we're just a not-very-good rip off of some similar games, I get notified of it.  I don't think we own the license/IP/anything for that game anymore.
> 
> I get people from the communities from games I've worked on who think it's appropriate to seek me out and add me on steam chat (and occasionally elsewhere, facebook, etc) to get me to personally troubleshoot the game for them when they have trouble with it.
> 
> I had an interesting sort of revelation the other day when visiting family. Shortly after the news that Telltale was shutting down, my niece (who is maybe 8?) went on a huge rant about how the Walking Dead game HAS TO be finished and that there will be some raging 8-year-old hell to pay if it doesn't get completed. She was convinced that one of the voice actors must love the game as much as she does, so they'll just take the project home and finish it, right? I tried to explain, as best I could to someone who has no idea how the world works, that it's not as simple as that, and that it's mind-bogglingly expensive to make something like that. I then remembered that this enraged 8-year-old has full access to the internet. For every time I've had to put up with a childish attitude, it doesn't often occur to me that I might actually be dealing with a child.
> 
> But, to swing it back to the original story -> Sometimes it's not children, it's just adults with the maturity level of a child. There's a video, I think it's parts of the announcement for that Diablo game, where the devs were literally boo'd on stage. How sh*tty a human being do you have to be, as an adult, to boo someone for creating entertainment for you? These aren't children, they're adults. There's no excuse. I have zero respect for that.



I'll give you that, the Gamer (capital "G") crowd is a type of awful all its own. 

I follow an automobile blog that has a sister site about games and whenever there's any crossover (they occasionally will cover racing games in a somewhat roundabout way) the comments are just full of vitriol from folks from the gaming side. 

It just seems to bring the absolute worst out of, even normal, people.


----------



## TedEH

It really does, and I don't understand why. I mean, does this same thing happen for TV and movies? It doesn't seem to happen nearly as much for music.

I make this comparison all the time -> where if I release a terrible album or song or demo, I'll receive some small amount of praise and those who don't like it just either say nothing at all or offer something constructive. I've hung around with people who are more into the art side of things -> painting, digital art, design, etc, and they're similar in that even works that aren't very good are held up as a "good job, here's something constructive to help you improve" or "it's not to my taste, but I'm glad you're doing what you like to do", or something. But not games. Games get torn to pieces. I have no idea why.


----------



## Ordacleaphobia

TedEH said:


> I appreciate the sentiment, but sometimes I think some gamers *do* think like this. There's a lot of "you ruined a good thing on purpose to squeeze money out of people" sentiment out there. Especially if you work on anything mobile that didn't start off as mobile. I wish I could say I've never been in that exact boat... but I've been there.
> 
> One of the first games I worked on professionally was released to pretty cold reception - which was rough at the time, but I got over it pretty quickly - and to be fair it wasn't an amazing game by any stretch - but I'm still listed as a dev on Steam, which means any time someone comments on the forums to complain about how the game was abandoned, or to demand that we fix compatibility with their hardware, or that we add features, or to say that we're just a not-very-good rip off of some similar games, I get notified of it.  I don't think we own the license/IP/anything for that game anymore.
> 
> I get people from the communities from games I've worked on who think it's appropriate to seek me out and add me on steam chat (and occasionally elsewhere, facebook, etc) to get me to personally troubleshoot the game for them when they have trouble with it.
> 
> I had an interesting sort of revelation the other day when visiting family. Shortly after the news that Telltale was shutting down, my niece (who is maybe 8?) went on a huge rant about how the Walking Dead game HAS TO be finished and that there will be some raging 8-year-old hell to pay if it doesn't get completed. She was convinced that one of the voice actors must love the game as much as she does, so they'll just take the project home and finish it, right? I tried to explain, as best I could to someone who has no idea how the world works, that it's not as simple as that, and that it's mind-bogglingly expensive to make something like that. I then remembered that this enraged 8-year-old has full access to the internet. For every time I've had to put up with a childish attitude, it doesn't often occur to me that I might actually be dealing with a child.
> 
> But, to swing it back to the original story -> Sometimes it's not children, it's just adults with the maturity level of a child. There's a video, I think it's parts of the announcement for that Diablo game, where the devs were literally boo'd on stage. How sh*tty a human being do you have to be, as an adult, to boo someone for creating entertainment for you? These aren't children, they're adults. There's no excuse. I have zero respect for that.



The Diablo thing is weird. I understand the "rage against the company because they're a faceless monster that ruined something you loved" thing. I don't really _endorse_ it, but I get it.
But slamming on an individual just kind of bums me out. To keep it Blizzard, I played WoW at a very, very high level for a number of years, and the amount of hate that Ghostcrawler (the face of class balancing) got was unbelievable. I mean sure, it's fun to crack a joke in guild chat when you log in after your class just got nerfed, "Damn, GC must have gotten beat by a rogue again. I guess rogues need a nerf now," but to _*actually blame*_ the guy is ridiculous.

Even if it was wholly this one person's fault, vitriol doesn't get you anywhere. I don't know why people don't get that.

As far as the Diablo thing, I get people want to communicate that they're upset, and not reacting favorably to the announcement is an effective way to do that, but man...I feel really bad for those guys up on the stage that were genuinely excited to announce this thing. The tone in that guy's voice when he tried to recover from the April Fool's Day question tells me he was legitimately stoked on this product and expected people to be excited.



TedEH said:


> It doesn't seem to happen nearly as much for music.



I'm sorry, what? 
Oh man Ted, _please_ stay away from the youtube comments of your favorite songs. Preserve your innocence.


----------



## TedEH

I suppose I don't count YouTube comments, since that's a cesspool in it's own right. I know there's lots of nonsense on the internet, but something just deeply disappoints me that people are willing to boo in people's faces like that in person, for _any_ reason, and that other people are ok with it, or willing to justify it. Criticism is one thing, I get criticism - be critical all you want - but show some respect.

It makes me even more sad that I brought this up at work and was responded to by one person with a "but the company did x, y, etc." as if anyone deserves to be treated that way for creating something. And another commented that I "might not be wrong, but definitely care too much".

Is it too much to ask that people just be respectful? I'm not saying anyone has to like what game companies do, but don't boo in peoples faces. If you were that guy on stage, who has probably been in crunch mode for the last few months, who was probably excited to show off something he's been working on, who also probably had not much say in what his company does or doesn't decide to create - and people just cut you down on the spot.


----------



## Ordacleaphobia

Yeah, it sucks man. I'm with you on that.
The whole industry-consumer relation in that market is kind of at a fever pitch right now, I think. This last year or two has been an absolute mess.


----------



## PunkBillCarson

You'll probably get one line in and ignore this like you did MFB's post but here goes anyways:

Booing someone over something is overreaction, yes, but where's the line between that and honest criticism? No one wanted a Diablo mobile game, or at least the vast majority didn't. The fans have always been vocal about what they want from a developer and it's no secret that fans have either wanted an expansion for Diablo 3, a remake of Diablo 2, or Diablo 4. I feel it's the developer's job to pay attention to the fans. Sure, maybe you want to try something new once in a while to keep it fresh, but this wasn't the game to do that with.

I guess the point is how do you let someone know when you don't want something? Just sit there, don't give them a reaction at all? Get on social media and bitch about it which is the same platform the fans give their opinions on that get ignored in the first place? Fans would rather have none of those things I mention happen than a Diablo mobile game. You've got legions of dedicated fans who've made their wants quite clear.

Also, @Ordacleaphobia is correct. Youtube comments tear music apart all the time and you can't just ignore that to make your point. Hating something is hating something whether it's in person or on a web page.


----------



## TedEH

PunkBillCarson said:


> I guess the point is how do you let someone know when you don't want something? Just sit there, don't give them a reaction at all? Get on social media and bitch about it which is the same platform the fans give their opinions on that get ignored in the first place? Fans would rather have none of those things I mention happen than a Diablo mobile game. You've got legions of dedicated fans who've made their wants quite clear.


You don't! I honestly _do not care in the least_ if people didn't want it. That doesn't justify being so disrespectful to someone. Like I said - criticism is fine. Going online and writing an article or twitter post or whatever else have you describing how this was the wrong game at the wrong time -> fine. No problem with that. It's criticism and it's respectful.

Don't tell me the devs don't read twitter/reddit/etc. I am a dev, I'm in those circles - trust me - we read them.



PunkBillCarson said:


> Youtube comments tear music apart all the time


There's a huge difference between typing up something stupid on the internet, and literally booing in someones face. You can choose not to read a youtube comment, you can't choose not to have the whole room you're standing in tear you a new one.

On top of that, are we going to say "it's ok to be shitty to people here, because people are also shitty over there"? That's terrible reasoning.

Again, I'm sad at the lack of just general respect people have for other people. "I don't want this, therefor it shoudln't exist" is such a horrible way to look at things in the first place, and then to take it a step farther and express it in such a direct/aggressive/disrespectful way. It's nonsense. I refuse to justify treating people that way.


----------



## PunkBillCarson

So you're never going to make a scathing comment over a piece of entertainment ever again and you've certainly never done so in the past?


Also, it's funny you mentioned the whole ignoring comments thing, because that's likely what led to this in the first place. Ignoring actual fans. You're right. I don't want a Diablo Mobile game and if you go and look, you find a few people that do amongst the majority who don't. It's not a reason to be ugly, no, but the frustration is more than understandable. Again, how do you want them to voice their frustration? By sitting there with no reaction at all, wait to get home, then bitch about it and get ignored? They're not listening to you in your own house, clearly they're not paying attention to fans online. You're not going to get every single Diablo fan to write a blog about why Diablo Mobile is a shit idea (that's in the name alone). If you want it, go play it, have your opinion, let others have theirs whether you agree with the method or not, especially when the methods you brought up are the ones being ignored.


----------



## TedEH

PunkBillCarson said:


> So you're never going to make a scathing comment over a piece of entertainment ever again and you've certainly never done so in the past?


I have never boo'd at someone in person. I have never gone to a show or presentation and vocally tore someone down. And I would never do that.



PunkBillCarson said:


> Again, how do you want them to voice their frustration?


Honestly, we live in an age where everyone has a stage online. Yes, I would absolutely prefer that people tweet, post on twitter, etc., or send emails, or whatever else - in such a fashion as can be called respectful. Even if you MUST do it to someone's face, there's nothing constructive about this. The guy who said "is this some kind of april fools joke?" could have just as easily said "I'm a bit disappointed that this isn't what I expected". Such a different tone, and gives the presenter a chance to respond without feeling attacked.

Honestly - it's this sort of self-important attitude of "the devs have to do what I say because I'M the target audience, they're doing this FOR ME"... I just can't get behind that. This is not enough reason to act so immature. You're disappointed that the video game you wanted didn't come out yet? So what. Suck it up. Be an adult. The game they DO want is still coming.


----------



## PunkBillCarson

TedEH said:


> I have never boo'd at someone in person. I have never gone to a show or presentation and vocally tore someone down. And I would never do that.
> 
> 
> Honestly, we live in an age where everyone has a stage online. Yes, I would absolutely prefer that people tweet, post on twitter, etc., or send emails, or whatever else - in such a fashion as can be called respectful. Even if you MUST do it to someone's face, there's nothing constructive about this. The guy who said "is this some kind of april fools joke?" could have just as easily said "I'm a bit disappointed that this isn't what I expected". Such a different tone, and gives the presenter a chance to respond without feeling attacked.
> 
> Honestly - it's this sort of self-important attitude of "the devs have to do what I say because I'M the target audience, they're doing this FOR ME"... I just can't get behind that. This is not enough reason to act so immature. You're disappointed that the video game you wanted didn't come out yet? So what. Suck it up. Be an adult. The game they DO want is still coming.




That first paragraph is nil, once again. They have been IGNORING the fans online. That's what I've been trying to explain to you. Apparently, that's not sinking through. Also, it's not as if devs have to do what people say, but it would have perhaps given them a clue that this isn't what they wanted, at all.


----------



## TedEH

PunkBillCarson said:


> They have been IGNORING the fans online. That's what I've been trying to explain to you.


I fully understand what you're saying. I really do. I understand fully but I don't care. I think it's irrelevant. We're justifying being horribly disrespectful to people over video games.


----------



## PunkBillCarson

TedEH said:


> I fully understand what you're saying. I really do. I understand fully but I don't care. I think it's irrelevant. We're justifying being horribly disrespectful to people over video games.



Well if you want, maybe next time they'll throw molotovs or something at the stage.


----------



## MFB

Two things:

1. Booing IS a criticism though, so should they ignore the boos as well? This is a company that used to scrap games because it "didn't meet their standard" and have now committed to the mobile game market, which we all know the underlying base of is "free game with in-game transactions that use real money and ads to justify being free." I can only hope the numbers speak for themselves when this launches to the sound of a wet fart in terms of numbers for how little people cared to take Diablo on the go with them.

2. Are people actually tearing a specific guy apart, as in calling him out by name and releasing information that can actually do damage to him, or are we refering to the group of guys on stage that had to stand there and take the "None of this wanted this, why is this what we're getting" feedback? If it's the former, then yeah, fuck them, but if it's the latter, yeah it sucks to have that happen but negative feedback is to be expected isn't it?


----------



## TedEH

I am further saddened that we all seem to think this is ok.


----------



## MaxOfMetal

Full Disclosure: I'm an absolute gaming outsider. The last console I bought was an Xbox 360. I've been a Mac owner for over ten years. I don't game unless you count solitaire. 

I've been casually following this Diablo cellphone game mess since articles keep popping up on platforms I visit. 

The gist of it can be summed up as:

Blizzard: Hey, your favorite cake is in the oven, but it's going to take awhile.
Blizzard: Hey the neighbor just brought over cookies to eat while the cake is baking!
Gamers: WE DON'T WANT COOKIES! MAKE THE CAKE COOK FASTER. REEEEEEE!

This is all well beyond simple criticism. 

It's large adult children yelling at the clouds. 

I'm part of some pretty picky hobbydoms (guitars, cars, beers, guns) and none of those are as absolutely terrifying as Gamers.


----------



## MFB

MaxOfMetal said:


> Blizzard: Hey, your favorite cake might be in the oven but we won't let you see until it's almost done
> Blizzard: Hey the neighbor just brought over cookies to eat while the cake that might exist might be baking! Just know every now and then while you're eating them, we're going to prompt you to drink water, maybe milk, or even chocolate milk if that's your thing too.
> Majority of gamers: If we wanted cookies, we would have asked for cookies, so why are you trying to give us them when we really just want the hypothetical cake
> Overly vocal minority of Gamers: WE DON'T WANT COOKIES! MAKE THE CAKE COOK FASTER. REEEEEEE!



That seems more like the situation, but it seems we all have our views, so this'll change nothing


----------



## TedEH

That's really the part I'm trying to wrap my head around - I get involved in a lot of different hobbies / circles / "fandoms", etc. as well and none of those circles tear down other members of the community like gaming does.

Like I went to an art show last weekend, and despite not all of the artists being phenomenal, everyone was supportive regardless. Nobody says "this isn't the art I wanted to see, why did you make this?"

I see people post music here all the time and nobody says "this isn't to my taste, you shouldn't have done this. It's an insult to the community to have made something so bad." Or if you go to a show and the opener really sucks - you don't say "man, you sucked, you ruined my night". I've told a band I didn't like much "good set" in the sense that I appreciate the effort they put in. I've offered constructive feedback before - almost always when it was solicited first. But never "that sucked, don't play shows anymore".

I love video games, and I love music - but while I also really enjoy the community aspects of music (jamming with other people, interacting with audiences, forums like this, etc), I really don't like the community aspects of gaming. It's so hostile to it's own, for no good reason.


----------



## MaxOfMetal

MFB said:


> That seems more like the situation, but it seems we all have our views, so this'll change nothing



So what you're saying is there are "truthers" to whether the cake actually exists? Why would they lie about that? Is there a credible source that contradicts the existence of the folks pretty much everyone at the company says are working on said cake? 

Also, if the cookies are too much, just save room for the cake. If you're really hungry order some delivery, there's plenty of food out there. 

It all just seems like all this misery is mostly self imposed by folks that just need to calm down a little bit. As far as I can tell, no one has paid for the cake, so I'm not sure why anyone is feeling owed.


----------



## TedEH

If I might say, as someone who has seen some of the insides of this -> It is _extremely_ difficult to manage expectations, and moreso when it's an established franchise. I understand the hesitation from the dev side (not talking about any specific case, just in general) to say too much because _soooooo much_ changes over the course of development that it's hard to realistically promise anything. So many things almost happen, or get started and then cancelled, or attempted and abandoned, or morph really dramatically over production, that to promise anything in any time frame is to shoot yourself in the foot.

I mean games are ridiculously complicated bits of software that take huge teams, huge budgets, huge amounts of time. It's almost a miracle they get made at all most of the time.


----------



## Ordacleaphobia

TedEH said:


> That's really the part I'm trying to wrap my head around - I get involved in a lot of different hobbies / circles / "fandoms", etc. as well and none of those circles tear down other members of the community like gaming does.
> 
> Like I went to an art show last weekend, and despite not all of the artists being phenomenal, everyone was supportive regardless. Nobody says "this isn't the art I wanted to see, why did you make this?"
> 
> I see people post music here all the time and nobody says "this isn't to my taste, you shouldn't have done this. It's an insult to the community to have made something so bad." Or if you go to a show and the opener really sucks - you don't say "man, you sucked, you ruined my night". I've told a band I didn't like much "good set" in the sense that I appreciate the effort they put in. I've offered constructive feedback before - almost always when it was solicited first. But never "that sucked, don't play shows anymore".
> 
> I love video games, and I love music - but while I also really enjoy the community aspects of music (jamming with other people, interacting with audiences, forums like this, etc), I really don't like the community aspects of gaming. It's so hostile to it's own, for no good reason.



I think part of it is that most of us were raised to understand that all art has some intrinsic value to it- even if just to the artist. If you don't appreciate, someone out there does.
Granted, that doesn't save a lot of modern art from being the butt of many, many jokes, but I think this is why most art doesn't get absolutely slammed.

Unfortunately, da vidya is a pretty new entertainment medium, and for the most part, not considered "art." Then when you consider that members of this community are typically not very socially gifted (and the world is very, very quick to *never *let them forget it), it kind of makes sense that people aren't as....reserved, in their criticism. To go a step further still, in this specific case, it kind of makes even more sense, because this is a franchise that's been around longer than I've been alive, if I'm not mistaken. These people ARE the support base, they MADE this franchise a success, and in their mind (maybe rightfully so)- it should be designed with them in mind. They _expect_ to be catered to, because it's literally always been about them.

Then when you consider the state of the market and how consumers are almost entirely at odds with the industry, and....yikes.



MaxOfMetal said:


> So what you're saying is there are "truthers" to whether the cake actually exists? Why would they lie about that? Is there a credible source that contradicts the existence of the folks pretty much everyone at the company says are working on said cake?
> 
> Also, if the cookies are too much, just save room for the cake. If you're really hungry order some delivery, there's plenty of food out there.
> 
> It all just seems like all this misery is mostly self imposed by folks that just need to calm down a little bit. As far as I can tell, no one has paid for the cake, so I'm not sure why anyone is feeling owed.



Sort of. It's people that are just _*really, really invested*_ in that cake. That cake is _*really*_ important to them.
And in this industry, a wink and a nod doesn't amount to anything. Even a hard confirmation of "YES, There WILL be a Diablo 4" doesn't necessarily hold any water. Think...like the Corelia album, shit happens. Games get cancelled, delayed, or restarted (*COUGHFFVIIREMAKE*) all the time. Having multiple projects in the works can also very easily bottleneck the production of any one project in particular.

Then there's the possibility that you really, really wanted a chocolate cake. The only reason you go to this baker is because his chocolate cake is just totally bitchin'. But you have no way to know for sure if this cake is going to be chocolate or not, and the whole time, you're just waiting, and hoping you didn't waste your time and end up with a carrot cake. Sure, the guy down the street also makes a good chocolate cake, but it's just not the same. This guy is on a whole other level.

So if the game I'm really hoping for finally does come out, but has microtransactions, day 1 DLC, and is designed to be episodic; it's almost like the chocolate cake I was expecting to get is actually a plain sugar cake, with chocolate sprinkles I can pay extra for, and will be charged by the slice even if I want to just buy the whole cake. Most of us would just say "That sucks" and go to the baker down the street, but some guys can't handle it and will stress themselves way the fuck out worrying about the _possibility_ of that happening.


----------



## PunkBillCarson

Apparently voicing displeasure is to be frowned upon.


----------



## MaxOfMetal

PunkBillCarson said:


> Apparently voicing displeasure is to be frowned upon.



I don't think anyone has a problem with people voicing displeasure in itself, but the way and degree in which people are. 

If I don't like what I ordered at a restaurant I don't throw the plate across the room and call the waitress a whore. I politely ask to see the manager, explain my problem and go on my merry way. 

You can criticize without being a petulant child, which is what about 80% of what I've seen on this issue has come off as.


----------



## PunkBillCarson

All the audience did was boo, yes? How else were they supposed to react if they were displeased? Frowns? They didn't throw anything, did they? Throwing a plate is hardly the same as booing.

Also, what of this finding that this is a reskinned Chinese game as well? If that is indeed the truth... I'd say the boos are warranted.


----------



## KnightBrolaire

diablo fans have a right to be pissy. The Diablo series was basically born and bred on PC, and blizzard gave PC fans a huge middle finger by saying they're not going to be putting Diablo on PC for the foreseeable future. If it wasn't for pc fans, the series would have never thrived. Plus, as someone who's played a bunch of mobile dungeoncrawlers, they're usually meh as far as your options for abilities, etc. 
It doesn't help that it looks like the game is a reskin of crusaders of light (some half assed korean dungeoncrawler). I think most of the fanbase is very cynical of the way blizzard is going to monetize the game as well..


----------



## PunkBillCarson

KnightBrolaire said:


> diablo fans have a right to be pissy. The Diablo series was basically born and bred on PC, and blizzard gave PC fans a huge middle finger by saying they're not going to be putting Diablo on PC for the foreseeable future. If it wasn't for pc fans, the series would have never thrived. Plus, as someone who's played a bunch of mobile dungeoncrawlers, they're usually meh as far as your options for abilities, etc.
> It doesn't help that it looks like the game is a reskin of crusaders of light (some half assed korean dungeoncrawler). I think most of the fanbase is very cynical of the way blizzard is going to monetize the game as well..




We're adults, we're not allowed to be unhappy, even when the work of someone else is being used to promote something "new."


----------



## KnightBrolaire

PunkBillCarson said:


> We're adults, we're not allowed to be unhappy.


It's ok, I'll just go back to playing Path of Exile or Torchlight 2. Diablo has been dead to me since D3's auction house bullshit.

google and blizzard are removing comments and fudging upvote/downvote values.


----------



## PunkBillCarson

I played the hell out of Torchlight. That was an amazing game.


----------



## Vyn

Today I decided that I need to go back to a mental health professional because things are getting out of hand. Upset because I though I could handle things without it but apparently I can't :/


----------



## TedEH

KnightBrolaire said:


> If it wasn't for pc fans, the series would have never thrived.


This is another sentiment that always makes me sad to hear. Fans didn't make the game, the devs did. This whole "your success means nothing without ME" sentiment is childish. They're video games, guys, get over it. There are real people behind this stuff, who have to put up with the abuse the community flings at them, and it's not worth tearing people down because you didn't get the video game you want yet.

I really cannot wrap my head around how anyone can think it's ok to justify treating people that way.

This bothers me on so many levels.

I don't even have words for it anymore.



PunkBillCarson said:


> How else were they supposed to react if they were displeased? Frowns?


YES. Keep it to yourself! It's that simple. You're not a 12 year old, you don't need to voice every feeling you have. Oh no, the video game company isn't going to do exactly what you wanted! So what?

I wish you guys could see the shit that devs go through to bring this kind of stuff to you, just to have their audience fling this kind of nonsense at them. It's soul crushing. I'm not exaggerating, there's legit consequences to this kind of behavior.

You want people to listen to your complaints? How about start by treating them with respect?

Edit:
Consider that it's not just booing. It's that, plus having to endure conversations like what we're having - the youtube "influencers" who will be tearing them a new one for a while, the influx of articles about it, the twitter arguments - it's basically inescapable right now. Basically everywhere they go on the internet, and much of what they talk about in person, they're going to be surrounded by the news that what they've been likely working on for years is being treated as garbage, and they're being bombarded with rude "feedback" for no other reason than not appealing to the right audience at the right time. Tell me that you'd be ok going to work every day in that condition?


----------



## KnightBrolaire

TedEH said:


> This is another sentiment that always makes me sad to hear. Fans didn't make the game, the devs did. This whole "your success means nothing without ME" sentiment is childish. They're video games, guys, get over it. There are real people behind this stuff, who have to put up with the abuse the community flings at them, and it's not worth tearing people down because you didn't get the video game you want yet.
> 
> I really cannot wrap my head around how anyone can think it's ok to justify treating people that way.
> 
> This bothers me on so many levels.
> 
> I don't even have words for it anymore.


If the fans never bought the games then they would never have been successful, so yes, they do have a right to be entitled. Guess what happens when people don't like games? they vote with their wallet, and the game fails
The fact that blizzard doubled down on the mobile position by saying "Diablo will not be coming to PC for the foreseeable future" is really what infuriated Diablo fans. It'd be one thing if they dip their toes into the mobile market with this game, but that's a bold, alienating statement that is already backfiring on them. It doesn't help that the gameplay they've shown looks very disappointing.
At its core, the industry is about appealing to consumers, so it makes no sense to alienate said consumers. Fans' opinions do matter. Look at what happened with Star Wars Battlefront 2, EA essentially made the game very very difficult to grind out without spending extra money on microtransactions. Fans caught wind of this, a whole shitstorm erupted and everyone dogpiled on EA for that kind of unscrupulous behavior. EA's stock took a big nosedive because of that incident. Activision/Blizzard was already catching flak for shutting down WOW classic servers so they could essentially resell 13 year old content back to fans, they've done some bait and switch bullshit with Destiny 2 DLC, couple that with the alienation of the Diablo community and there's going to be financial repercussions as far as their stock prices go.


----------



## MaxOfMetal

KnightBrolaire said:


> If the fans never bought the games then they would never have been successful, so yes, they do have a right to be entitled. The fact that blizzard doubled down on the mobile position by saying "Diablo will not be coming to PC for the foreseeable future" is really what infuriated Diablo fans. It'd be one thing if they dip their toes into the mobile market with this game, but that's a bold, alienating statement that is already backfiring on them. It doesn't help that the gameplay they've shown looks very disappointing.
> At its core, the industry is about appealing to consumers, so it makes no sense to alienate said consumers. Fans' opinions do matter. Look at what happened with Star Wars Battlefront 2, EA essentially made the game very very difficult to grind out without spending extra money on microtransactions. Fans caught wind of this, a whole shitstorm erupted and everyone dogpiled on EA for that kind of unscrupulous behavior. EA's stock took a big nosedive because of that incident. Activision/Blizzard was already catching flak for shutting down WOW classic servers so they could essentially resell 13 year old content back to fans, couple that with the alienation of the Diablo community and there's going to be financial repercussions as far as their stock prices go.



Cart before the horse. 

Blizzard created a game and then people bought it. Not the other way around.

Blizzard fulfilled their end of the deal. This isn't a crowd funding campaign where folks shell out money first. 

If I buy a Benz, is Mercedes forever indebted to me for making that previous purchase?


----------



## TedEH

Apparently, it's too much to ask that people just be respectful of the people that make the things they like.
Just gonna leave the conversation here. It's not doing me any good to keep coming back to this.


----------



## Ordacleaphobia

Vyn said:


> Today I decided that I need to go back to a mental health professional because things are getting out of hand. Upset because I though I could handle things without it but apparently I can't :/



That sucks, man. I know it probably doesn't mean much, but if you ever need someone to talk to, my box is always open.



TedEH said:


> This is another sentiment that always makes me sad to hear. Fans didn't make the game, the devs did. This whole "your success means nothing without ME" sentiment is childish. They're video games, guys, get over it. There are real people behind this stuff, who have to put up with the abuse the community flings at them, and it's not worth tearing people down because you didn't get the video game you want yet.





MaxOfMetal said:


> Cart before the horse.
> 
> Blizzard created a game and then people bought it. Not the other way around.
> 
> Blizzard fulfilled their end of the deal. This isn't a crowd funding campaign where folks shell out money first.
> 
> If I buy a Benz, is Mercedes forever indebted to me for making that previous purchase?



Think of it more like if Mercedes makes a really strange new model that has 3 wheels. You and a bunch of other people totally dig it, buy the hell out of it, and make it one of their best performing models. Now it's been like 6/7 years and you want to buy a new car, you go to check out the new model of this car expecting it to still have 3 wheels because that was the whole reason people liked it in the first place and now it has 4.

Yeah, you don't really get to demand the 3 wheel model and yeah, people will buy the 4 wheel version, but the identity of the product has changed. If it had launched that way, it wouldn't have had the vocal support of all of the people that liked the weird 3 wheel car and likely would have been doomed to obscurity. 



KnightBrolaire said:


> they've done some bait and switch bullshit with Destiny 2 DLC



Oh man. Still not happy about how the DLC in that game was handled _at all_.


----------



## PunkBillCarson

TedEH said:


> Apparently, it's too much to ask that people just be respectful of the people that make the things they like.
> Just gonna leave the conversation here. It's not doing me any good to keep coming back to this.




Yeah especially when you're going to keep saying "all that hard work" when all they did was try and give something "new" in the form of a reskinned game. Good job ignoring that part.


----------



## PunkBillCarson

KnightBrolaire said:


> If the fans never bought the games then they would never have been successful, so yes, they do have a right to be entitled. Guess what happens when people don't like games? they vote with their wallet, and the game fails
> The fact that blizzard doubled down on the mobile position by saying "Diablo will not be coming to PC for the foreseeable future" is really what infuriated Diablo fans. It'd be one thing if they dip their toes into the mobile market with this game, but that's a bold, alienating statement that is already backfiring on them. It doesn't help that the gameplay they've shown looks very disappointing.
> At its core, the industry is about appealing to consumers, so it makes no sense to alienate said consumers. Fans' opinions do matter. Look at what happened with Star Wars Battlefront 2, EA essentially made the game very very difficult to grind out without spending extra money on microtransactions. Fans caught wind of this, a whole shitstorm erupted and everyone dogpiled on EA for that kind of unscrupulous behavior. EA's stock took a big nosedive because of that incident. Activision/Blizzard was already catching flak for shutting down WOW classic servers so they could essentially resell 13 year old content back to fans, they've done some bait and switch bullshit with Destiny 2 DLC, couple that with the alienation of the Diablo community and there's going to be financial repercussions as far as their stock prices go.




But... but... They worked so hard to get extra money out of us, how are we ever supposed to complain about that?


----------



## MaxOfMetal

Ordacleaphobia said:


> Think of it more like if Mercedes makes a really strange new model that has 3 wheels. You and a bunch of other people totally dig it, buy the hell out of it, and make it one of their best performing models. Now it's been like 6/7 years and you want to buy a new car, you go to check out the new model of this car expecting it to still have 3 wheels because that was the whole reason people liked it in the first place and now it has 4.
> 
> Yeah, you don't really get to demand the 3 wheel model and yeah, people will buy the 4 wheel version, but the identity of the product has changed. If it had launched that way, it wouldn't have had the vocal support of all of the people that liked the weird 3 wheel car and likely would have been doomed to obscurity.



But they made such an amazing, yet different product that was so amazing and different that you based a large part of your identity in said product.

They did that first. The fact that it was so amazing is on them. They did that. The fans bought into that because it was so good. They got exactly what they wanted from the deal.

That's what they are owned, a great product. The company delivered. That cannot be denied.

No one is owed a spectacular sequel. It's the same relationship as before. If they make a great product, they'll keep the fans, if they don't make a great product, people won't buy it. It's that's simple.

Without seeing what comes of this, you can't say the new product is a failure. What if the new product does just as good, but with a different audience? Do those folks not matter because they weren't there for the original?


----------



## John

At this time, back pain sucks. Especially since it's become a hindrance for doing things that I enjoy doing, it even hurts to try kicking at head level and that's not fun either.


----------



## MaxOfMetal

PunkBillCarson said:


> Yeah especially when you're going to keep saying "all that hard work" when all they did was try and give something "new" in the form of a reskinned game. Good job ignoring that part.





PunkBillCarson said:


> But... but... They worked so hard to get extra money out of us, how are we ever supposed to complain about that?



You're really just proving TedEH's point. 

All he's saying is that it would be nice to see some empathy for the cogs who work hard to earn their living. Your gripe is with the decision makers, management, marketing, not the guys on the floor.


----------



## PunkBillCarson

MaxOfMetal said:


> You're really just proving TedEH's point.
> 
> All he's saying is that it would be nice to see some empathy for the cogs who work hard to earn their living. Your gripe is with the decision makers, management, marketing, not the guys on the floor.



Uh, TedEh is the one who said he'd rather someone get online and bitch about it instead of doing it to their faces. So is he wrong now or am I still wrong? That's not rhetorical, don't ignore that in your response. Point is, and I'll say this for the final time, they're reskinning a failed game and delivering it as a Diablo game that the vast majority DO NOT want. In other words, they're not even fully using their resources to develop this. I realize you're not nearly as invested in this industry as some of us, and he's some sort of worker in that industry (which no one has even remotely brought out the fact he's clearly biased) but to some of us, this kind of shit matters. It's a hobby, it's what we do to escape from bullshit here and there.

Also, if someone at a restaurant got my order wrong, I'm going to be vocal about it. I'm not going to yell or scream, I'm simply going to say "I didn't order this like this or I didn't order this." Is that wrong too? Don't ignore this one either.

It's easy to say, it's just a bunch of video games when you're not invested like others. There are expectations from certain companies and trust that fans have placed in them. This is rock bottom for them. So no, if someone does something I don't like, I'm voicing my opinion. If you need more examples, go look for them outside this forum. They're there, loud and clear and if you want to discount them which you probably will, because it's clear no one's going to look from the view of the consumer here, then you're simply not going to get it.


----------



## PunkBillCarson

johnucol said:


> At this time, back pain sucks. Especially since it's become a hindrance for doing things that I enjoy doing, it even hurts to try kicking at head level and that's not fun either.



I feel you, man. Back pain is one of the worst pains you can feel and it really sucks because a lot of what you do can irritate your back and agitate it.


----------



## PunkBillCarson

Just so we're clear though, once we're back discussing in the guitar forums, you're both going to show the same outrage when someone says they don't like something that a guitar company puts out right? Especially on the ESP page. No one wants to do shoddy work or put out a bad guitar after all, even if it's just a reskin of last years offerings.


----------



## MaxOfMetal

PunkBillCarson said:


> Uh, TedEh is the one who said he'd rather someone get online and bitch about it instead of doing it to their faces. So is he wrong now or am I still wrong?



Context is key. He rather folks voice their opinions online, but in a less crazy way. 

Do you not understand the nuisance of that? 



> Point is, and I'll say this for the final time, they're reskinning a failed game and delivering it as a Diablo game that the vast majority DO NOT want.



Until we see how it does, I don't know how you can say that so confidently. 

Perhaps to the cross-section of fans so devoted they get this worked up, you're correct, but what percentage of the gaming community is that as a whole?



> In other words, they're not even fully using their resources to develop this.



Does everything have to be the "next big thing"?



> I realize you're not nearly as invested in this industry as some of us, and he's some sort of worker in that industry (which no one has even remotely brought out the fact he's clearly biased) but to some of us, this kind of shit matters. It's a hobby, it's what we do to escape from bullshit here and there.



It's not like he's absolving them of all wrong doings. He, and others, seem to think a little bit of civility and empathy, especially for the little guys, would be nice. Again, I think you're looking for a fight that's not taking place. 

It kind of sounds like you're too "invested". No one has been as much of a sarcastic prick as you have been in this conversation and at least two others seem to share the bulk of your views. They just seem to be able to communicate like people. 



> Also, if someone at a restaurant got my order wrong, I'm going to be vocal about it. I'm not going to yell or scream, I'm simply going to say "I didn't order this like this or I didn't order this." Is that wrong too? Don't ignore this one either.



Again, you're arguing with yourself. That's exactly what I posted before from which you decided to adhere your trademark people skills in a response. 



> It's easy to say, it's just a bunch of video games when you're not invested like others. There are expectations from certain companies and trust that fans have placed in them. This is rock bottom for them. So no, if someone does something I don't like, I'm voicing my opinion. If you need more examples, go look for them outside this forum. They're there, loud and clear and if you want to discount them which you probably will, because it's clear no one's going to look from the view of the consumer here, then you're simply not going to get it.



You keep saying "invested" like you purchased stock or are seeding projects. 

You bought a game and chose to put your time into it. 

Voice your opinion all you want. No one is stopping you, we just think you're nuts. 



PunkBillCarson said:


> Just so we're clear though, once we're back discussing in the guitar forums, you're both going to show the same outrage when someone says they don't like something that a guitar company puts out right? Especially on the ESP page. No one wants to do shoddy work or put out a bad guitar after all, even if it's just a reskin of last years offerings.


----------



## PunkBillCarson

That's fine, you can think I'm nuts all you want, I really don't give a shit. I stand by my stance and if you don't like it, tough shit.


----------



## Ordacleaphobia

MaxOfMetal said:


> But they made such an amazing, yet different product that was so amazing and different that you based a large part of your identity in said product.
> 
> They did that first. The fact that it was so amazing is on them. They did that. The fans bought into that because it was so good. They got exactly what they wanted from the deal.
> 
> That's what they are owned, a great product. The company delivered. That cannot be denied.
> 
> No one is owed a spectacular sequel. It's the same relationship as before. If they make a great product, they'll keep the fans, if they don't make a great product, people won't buy it. It's that's simple.
> 
> Without seeing what comes of this, you can't say the new product is a failure. What if the new product does just as good, but with a different audience? Do those folks not matter because they weren't there for the original?



Totally, yeah. I'm just saying that since there _*is*_ a new 'sequel' coming out, it isn't that outrageous for people to expect it to adhere to what made it worth having a sequel in the first place. It's not quite the same relationship as before because this is now an established IP with a track record and long history of dedicated customer support instead of a new idea.

I'm not disagreeing with you that Blizzard is 100% responsible; of course they are, they made the game. You need both the market and the product to deliver on it and they totally did that in spades back in the day. It's just that now, that marketbase feels like it's being left behind and some are lashing out because of it. Diablo Immortal will probably make them a boatload of cash because people love that mobile shit these days. But a lot of it won't be from the same people that gave Diablo the resources it needed to become a major brand.



PunkBillCarson said:


> Also, if someone at a restaurant got my order wrong, I'm going to be vocal about it. I'm not going to yell or scream, I'm simply going to say "I didn't order this like this or I didn't order this." Is that wrong too? Don't ignore this one either.



That's kind of his point, though; is that there's a good and a bad way to do that. The Diablo thing is weird because I can kind of see both sides on this one, and from what I _*saw*_, no one was getting personal or taking pot shots at the guys on the panel, but it *does* still really suck for those guys who I'm sure put a lot of effort and good faith into something that they thought would be a hit, and now even if it is a great game, it'll be a sour spot for them. On the other hand though, you need to know who your support base is, and if you're going to do something that will upset them (which they had to expect if they're in touch with their consumers), then you have to expect a poor response.

Mark Kern posted his thoughts on this whole thing and I think he's got the best take on it- this whole thing could have been avoided if they just announced _something_, _*anything*_, Diablo related for PC. Even if it was just a quick tech demo with a "none of this is probably going to make it to live" caveat. The timing was just not good, and kind of came off as a bit out of touch.


----------



## PunkBillCarson

Ordacleaphobia said:


> Totally, yeah. I'm just saying that since there _*is*_ a new 'sequel' coming out, it isn't that outrageous for people to expect it to adhere to what made it worth having a sequel in the first place. It's not quite the same relationship as before because this is now an established IP with a track record and long history of dedicated customer support instead of a new idea.
> 
> I'm not disagreeing with you that Blizzard is 100% responsible; of course they are, they made the game. You need both the market and the product to deliver on it and they totally did that in spades back in the day. It's just that now, that marketbase feels like it's being left behind and some are lashing out because of it. Diablo Immortal will probably make them a boatload of cash because people love that mobile shit these days. But a lot of it won't be from the same people that gave Diablo the resources it needed to become a major brand.
> 
> 
> 
> That's kind of his point, though; is that there's a good and a bad way to do that. The Diablo thing is weird because I can kind of see both sides on this one, and from what I _*saw*_, no one was getting personal or taking pot shots at the guys on the panel, but it *does* still really suck for those guys who I'm sure put a lot of effort and good faith into something that they thought would be a hit, and now even if it is a great game, it'll be a sour spot for them. On the other hand though, you need to know who your support base is, and if you're going to do something that will upset them (which they had to expect if they're in touch with their consumers), then you have to expect a poor response.
> 
> Mark Kern posted his thoughts on this whole thing and I think he's got the best take on it- this whole thing could have been avoided if they just announced _something_, _*anything*_, Diablo related for PC. Even if it was just a quick tech demo with a "none of this is probably going to make it to live" caveat. The timing was just not good, and kind of came off as a bit out of touch.




Nope. Booing was clearly the worst thing that could have happened when they announced the hot mess. Everyone should have just shut up, take it as it was, not let them know they were displeased. Leave them to improve on mere chance, instead of telling them what they're doing wrong. Worked pretty well for Shadow of War, you know, when fans hated lootboxes so they got rid of them? Also worked well for No Man's Sky when everyone voiced their displeasure with the game that it was. Now it's actually pretty decent.


----------



## MaxOfMetal

PunkBillCarson said:


> That's fine, you can think I'm nuts all you want, I really don't give a shit. I stand by my stance and if you don't like it, tough shit.











Ordacleaphobia said:


> Totally, yeah. I'm just saying that since there _*is*_ a new 'sequel' coming out, it isn't that outrageous for people to expect it to adhere to what made it worth having a sequel in the first place. It's not quite the same relationship as before because this is now an established IP with a track record and long history of dedicated customer support instead of a new idea.
> 
> I'm not disagreeing with you that Blizzard is 100% responsible; of course they are, they made the game. You need both the market and the product to deliver on it and they totally did that in spades back in the day. It's just that now, that marketbase feels like it's being left behind and some are lashing out because of it. Diablo Immortal will probably make them a boatload of cash because people love that mobile shit these days. But a lot of it won't be from the same people that gave Diablo the resources it needed to become a major brand.
> 
> 
> 
> That's kind of his point, though; is that there's a good and a bad way to do that. The Diablo thing is weird because I can kind of see both sides on this one, and from what I _*saw*_, no one was getting personal or taking pot shots at the guys on the panel, but it *does* still really suck for those guys who I'm sure put a lot of effort and good faith into something that they thought would be a hit, and now even if it is a great game, it'll be a sour spot for them. On the other hand though, you need to know who your support base is, and if you're going to do something that will upset them (which they had to expect if they're in touch with their consumers), then you have to expect a poor response.
> 
> Mark Kern posted his thoughts on this whole thing and I think he's got the best take on it- this whole thing could have been avoided if they just announced _something_, _*anything*_, Diablo related for PC. Even if it was just a quick tech demo with a "none of this is probably going to make it to live" caveat. The timing was just not good, and kind of came off as a bit out of touch.



This is a good take.


----------



## PunkBillCarson

So now we've resorted to memes? All because I said I stand by my opinion? What part of that makes me a badass again? Please remind me. I can't wait to hear this one.


----------



## MFB

Make PunkBillCarson Badass Again!


----------



## PunkBillCarson

MFB said:


> Make PunkBillCarson Badass Again!




Like the guy in your AV?


----------



## MFB

PunkBillCarson said:


> Like the guy in your AV?



Damn straight, Rambo's got your back


----------



## Vyn

Ordacleaphobia said:


> That sucks, man. I know it probably doesn't mean much, but if you ever need someone to talk to, my box is always open.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Think of it more like if Mercedes makes a really strange new model that has 3 wheels. You and a bunch of other people totally dig it, buy the hell out of it, and make it one of their best performing models. Now it's been like 6/7 years and you want to buy a new car, you go to check out the new model of this car expecting it to still have 3 wheels because that was the whole reason people liked it in the first place and now it has 4.
> 
> Yeah, you don't really get to demand the 3 wheel model and yeah, people will buy the 4 wheel version, but the identity of the product has changed. If it had launched that way, it wouldn't have had the vocal support of all of the people that liked the weird 3 wheel car and likely would have been doomed to obscurity.
> 
> 
> 
> Oh man. Still not happy about how the DLC in that game was handled _at all_.



Thanks, it's appreciated. Wasn't an easy choice to make. Kinda hit the point again where if I don't get help I'll end up going for a walk.


----------



## Ordacleaphobia

Vyn said:


> Thanks, it's appreciated. Wasn't an easy choice to make. Kinda hit the point again where if I don't get help I'll end up going for a walk.



Well at the very least you made the call to see somebody about it; I don't know what you're dealing with, but I know that's a great way to start getting back on your feet. Lot of guys miss that step. Hope things get better soon.


----------



## PunkBillCarson

Vyn said:


> Today I decided that I need to go back to a mental health professional because things are getting out of hand. Upset because I though I could handle things without it but apparently I can't :/




Let me tell you something, man. There's nothing, NOTHING wrong with seeking help. You're a brave motherfucker for doing so, because a lot of people can't admit they need it. Some people still see therapy as "weak" and that's just plain bullshit. Get the help you need if you feel you need it. You'll be better off. Get well, man.


----------



## KnightBrolaire

https://www.gamesindustry.biz/artic...tumble-amid-fan-backlash-over-diablo-immortal
oh look, I predicted the future. ATVI dropped 7% because of diablo immortal backlash.
It really says something when research firms are calling Blizzard out of touch with their fanbase.
"However, in a note to investors, research firm Cowen & Company (via Gamespot) said that Blizzard "severely miscalculated" the fan response, suggesting the company isn't as "in touch with [its] players maybe [it] should be"


----------



## PunkBillCarson

KnightBrolaire said:


> https://www.gamesindustry.biz/artic...tumble-amid-fan-backlash-over-diablo-immortal
> oh look, I predicted the future. ATVI dropped 7% because of diablo immortal backlash.
> It really says something when research firms are calling Blizzard out of touch with their fanbase.
> "However, in a note to investors, research firm Cowen & Company (via Gamespot) said that Blizzard "severely miscalculated" the fan response, suggesting the company isn't as "in touch with [its] players maybe [it] should be"





But what about all that "hard work" reskinning a failed game? Surely that didn't warrant this and those destructive boos the crowd gave off...


----------



## KnightBrolaire

PunkBillCarson said:


> But what about all that "hard work" reskinning a failed game? Surely that didn't warrant this and those destructive boos the crowd gave off...


blizzard played a stupid game and they won a stupid prize. I'm curious if they'll continue to double down on immortal or if they'll backpedal. I'd guess backpedal since board members are going to be extra salty about losing the gains they got from Blackout.


----------



## PunkBillCarson

KnightBrolaire said:


> blizzard played a stupid game and they won a stupid prize. I'm curious if they'll continue to double down on immortal or if they'll backpedal. I'd guess backpedal since board members are going to be extra salty about losing the gains they got from Blackout.




Bro, bro, bro, you're missing the whole point. No one should have ever found out that anyone was displeased by this "effort."


----------



## KnightBrolaire

PunkBillCarson said:


> Bro, bro, bro, you're missing the whole point. No one should have ever found out that anyone was displeased by this "effort."


yeah, those korean devs they farmed the reskinning out to are probably so hurt by all the booing


----------



## TedEH

Not gonna lie, this is what I do for a living, and that cuts pretty deep.

The part that makes me sad about it is that nobody cares about the people behind it, they only care about the product. So what if it's farmed out to someone -> those are still people. And yes, I work for one of those companies that usually does the actual farmed-out work. A lot more parts of your games get farmed out than you think.



MaxOfMetal said:


> All he's saying is that it would be nice to see some empathy for the cogs who work hard to earn their living. Your gripe is with the decision makers, management, marketing, not the guys on the floor.


Came back to the thread mostly for this. All I ask is for people to be decent to other people. Your complaints about the product are probably legit, but there's still real people behind it whether you respect the product or not.


----------



## PunkBillCarson

TedEH said:


> Not gonna lie, this is what I do for a living, and that cuts pretty deep.
> 
> The part that makes me sad about it is that nobody cares about the people behind it, they only care about the product. So what if it's farmed out to someone -> those are still people. And yes, I work for one of those companies that usually does the actual farmed-out work. A lot more parts of your games get farmed out than you think.
> 
> 
> Came back to the thread mostly for this. All I ask is for people to be decent to other people. Your complaints about the product are probably legit, but there's still real people behind it whether you respect the product or not.






TedEH said:


> Apparently, it's too much to ask that people just be respectful of the people that make the things they like.
> *Just gonna leave the conversation here. It's not doing me any good to keep coming back to this.*


----------



## TedEH

So screw me for caring about the industry I'm in. You're just being a dick for the sake of it at this point.


----------



## PunkBillCarson

TedEH said:


> So screw me for caring about the industry I'm in. You're just being a dick for the sake of it at this point.




Okay, so take solace that you're on the "right" side of things. You started a discussion, kept trying to refute our points by coming up with new ones that ended up terribly because it was found out about the extremely shady shit they were pulling, you revert back to your original point and say you're not going to discuss it anymore, then come back to discuss and then call me a dick because I'm not taking what you're saying seriously. How am I supposed to have a discussion with that when you keep saying the same thing over and over again as if it's the ONLY point that matters? If it truly was the only point that mattered, you wouldn't have brought everything else into it.

Not to mention, you and MoM got butthurt at a little bit of sarcasm (which I guess is fine when someone else does it, so long as it helps the point that they're making and the one the authority here likes) and resorts to memes? 

Thank you and good day.


----------



## TedEH

PunkBillCarson said:


> as if it's the ONLY point that matters?


To me it IS the only point that matters because it's the only point I was making. I didn't bring anything else into it. I said "lets not boo people for doing their jobs, maybe we can be critical and respectful at the same time" and everyone responds with "who cares about the people, look at all the things I'm mad about".


----------



## Ordacleaphobia

PunkBillCarson said:


> Not to mention, you and MoM got butthurt at a little bit of sarcasm (which I guess is fine when someone else does it, so long as it helps the point that they're making and the one the authority here likes) and resorts to memes?
> 
> Thank you and good day.



To be real man, you _are_ being a bit unnecessarily harsh. If you reread the last page or two, you _may_ come to the conclusion that you might have overreacted a little.



TedEH said:


> To me it IS the only point that matters because it's the only point I was making. I didn't bring anything else into it. I said "lets not boo people for doing their jobs, maybe we can be critical and respectful at the same time" and everyone responds with "who cares about the people, look at all the things I'm mad about".



I think the idea was more along the lines of "these people work there. If I drive home the fact that I don't like this and that this is a bad product, they will be my biggest advocate within the company because _they_ will have a louder voice than I ever will since _their_ opinion actually matters." On a strict, mathematical level, it's the most effective way to get the message across, because even if that guy's just bitching at other employees at the water cooler about the event, the fact that people weren't happy is going to spread. It'll be inescapable. It's much easier to write off comments on the internet.

Again, not saying it's the best course of action; just explaining why people do it. It's almost like working in customer service, the vocally angry customers tend to be the ones that get what they want, so long as they don't cross the line.


----------



## KnightBrolaire

at no point has anyone in this thread dissed the blizzard devs directly, all our cynicism and vitriol has been aimed at the way they've handled the diablo immortal situation. I don't really get why ted is getting butthurt and whining about fans audibly voicing their displeasure at an event that they PAID to go to. it's the equivalent of paying to see iron maiden and finding out it's a bad cover band instead.


----------



## PunkBillCarson

Ordacleaphobia said:


> To be real man, you _are_ being a bit unnecessarily harsh. If you reread the last page or two, you _may_ come to the conclusion that you might have overreacted a little.
> 
> 
> 
> I think the idea was more along the lines of "these people work there. If I drive home the fact that I don't like this and that this is a bad product, they will be my biggest advocate within the company because _they_ will have a louder voice than I ever will since _their_ opinion actually matters." On a strict, mathematical level, it's the most effective way to get the message across, because even if that guy's just bitching at other employees at the water cooler about the event, the fact that people weren't happy is going to spread. It'll be inescapable. It's much easier to write off comments on the internet.
> 
> Again, not saying it's the best course of action; just explaining why people do it. It's almost like working in customer service, the vocally angry customers tend to be the ones that get what they want, so long as they don't cross the line.




Oh I was a dick for sure. I'm not denying that, but at the same time, when someone presents their case like that and just makes it flat out difficult to actually debate and then checks out of the debate when it's inconsistent on their end and they realize it, yeah...

Point is, I'm a consumer. I'm also a worker. When I don't do my job adequately and someone gets upset, what am I supposed to do, wish they wouldn't say what I could do better? Being a customer doesn't necessarily make you entitled, but without that customer, you're essentially nothing anyways. This whole thing was directed to make it seem only the designers and developers mattered and I take issue with that. If I turned in an essay back in high school that was virtually the same as the kid who sat next to me, only called something else and worded differently, I'd get a low grade or even no grade at all. So why the hell should developers get a pass when essentially the same thing happens all the while pissing off their fanbase who made it possible for them to get to where they are in the first place?

It's one thing to base something off an engine. It's one thing to use the same engine entirely. It's entirely another when very little effort is given towards a VERY loyal fanbase. You built a fanbase, if you want continued success, it's your job to please them or at least come up with something that's on par. What was offered is a lazy attempt at NEITHER and if that's too much for someone to handle, IDK what to tell you because there was a guy during this discussion who seems to be suffering from ACTUAL issues other than worrying about the reactions of a rich company pissing off their fans.


----------



## TedEH

I'm not sure that anyone other than Max understood any of what I've been saying at all. I'm not trying to debate whether or not any of what Blizzard is doing was wrong (although, I don't actually think it's half as bad as what people make it out to be, but that's a whole other conversation). It is very clear that they misjudged their audience, and that people were disappointed. They made mistakes - everyone makes mistakes. I just wish there were ways to voice this feedback in a respectful manner. Telling the devs to their face that you think they're a joke isn't respectful. Booing at them isn't respectful. (And no, I don't boo at people in other situations. I find it incredibly rude.)

At the end of the day, people seem to see a marketing/pr mistake as more of an insult to themselves than... actually insulting someone. And that baffles me. Maybe that's on me for being naive. Gamers take the medium so personally - and there's value in that on some level - but at the end of the day it's just entertainment. No real harm comes to anyone from being disappointed in a game. But legit harm can come from being very hostile towards devs - it has a direct impact on their morale, the quality of the work they can do, their personal lives, etc.



PunkBillCarson said:


> when someone presents their case like that and just makes it flat out difficult to actually debate and then checks out of the debate when it's inconsistent on their end and they realize it


There is no debate and there's nothing inconsistent here. I'm not arguing that any of your criticisms are wrong. We clearly are just looking at the event from two entirely different angles. I merely expressed that it saddens me that nobody can see it from the angle that I do. I didn't "check out cause I was losing an argument", I took a break from the thread cause it was legit ruining my day. There's a common thread in this line of work that the product is more important than the people and it's incredibly demoralizing. It's everything from the kinds of comments you see here, to the crunch/overtime problems people have, to the completely uninformed "ugh this is garbage, it's just a lazy port" kind of "reviews" you heard all the time from people who have no idea how games are actually made, etc. It's very hard to stay motivated and in good spirits at work while having a discussion with someone about how that kind of work is an "insult to the industry/fans" and that the people behind it don't matter if the product sucks.

I'm trying to also make the point that vitriol does not, despite what seems to be the belief, do a better job of getting your point across. You might think it does, but it doesn't. Again, as someone who IS on this side of the discussion, I can tell you that YES, devs absolutely do read the twitter/reddit/facebook/etc everything else that people post. Your feedback is received. Just because it's not implemented or directly responded to doesn't mean the message wasn't received. I mean, devs are also gamers. They're also right there with you posting on those same forums about other games and things. A lot of the time, the people on the receiving end agree with you, but their hands are tied. Don't get me wrong, the vitriolic approach technically works as well - but it also creates resentment. If I get two points of feedback, one is "man, I love this series, I wish I could see x feature next time", and another is a guy screaming at me "your last game was garbage, you should be fired", which of the two do you figure I'm going to give more weight? Which of the two is going to leave me more excited to do a good job and contribute the community?

Edit:
I guess this is all just a very long-winded way of saying, like was suggested before, that I think it would be nice for the gaming community to have a bit more empathy for devs.  It is what it is, I guess.


----------



## TedEH

I had a similar conversation with someone the other day that ended with someone saying to me "maybe you're not wrong per-se, but you definitely care too much". I think that sentence in itself makes me a bit sad. But I'll concede that maybe I do take it too personally - which I recognize the irony of, given that I'm critical of gamers taking games too personally.


----------



## Ordacleaphobia

TedEH said:


> I had a similar conversation with someone the other day that ended with someone saying to me "maybe you're not wrong per-se, but you definitely care too much". I think that sentence in itself makes me a bit sad. But I'll concede that maybe I do take it too personally - which I recognize the irony of, given that I'm critical of gamers taking games too personally.



Nah, I get it man. It's tough not to take stuff like that personally when you're in the same kind of 'ecosystem.' 
All I've been saying is that it's just a misguided attempt at change. The difference between what happened at Blizzcon and polite criticism on the internet is that while both are received, it's a lot easier to validate _to yourself_ that they got your message when they're on the stage right in front of you. You know for sure. Also, that I don't think this was done with any animosity toward the dev team (at least I would assume so, mostly), but more just to voice a general disdain for the product, and the panel members are unfortunately caught in the crossfire. 

Sorry it got you down, man.


----------



## TedEH

I do hear you guys though, in that games are in some weird and very frustrating states, where it seems like nobody is really paying attention sometimes. A lot of my reaction to this event I'm sure comes from a place of not wanting the same to happen to me when the things I'm working on inevitably make their way in front of people's eyes.

My comment about empathy can arguably go both ways, I guess. It's easy for me to empathize with devs cause that's where I'm coming from, and less so for me to emphasize with "core gamers", since I don't really put myself in that category, despite how games are so integrated into my life right now.


----------



## PunkBillCarson

TedEH said:


> I'm not sure that anyone other than Max understood any of what I've been saying at all. I'm not trying to debate whether or not any of what Blizzard is doing was wrong (although, I don't actually think it's half as bad as what people make it out to be, but that's a whole other conversation). It is very clear that they misjudged their audience, and that people were disappointed. They made mistakes - everyone makes mistakes. I just wish there were ways to voice this feedback in a respectful manner. Telling the devs to their face that you think they're a joke isn't respectful. Booing at them isn't respectful. (And no, I don't boo at people in other situations. I find it incredibly rude.)
> 
> At the end of the day, people seem to see a marketing/pr mistake as more of an insult to themselves than... actually insulting someone. And that baffles me. Maybe that's on me for being naive. Gamers take the medium so personally - and there's value in that on some level - but at the end of the day it's just entertainment. No real harm comes to anyone from being disappointed in a game. But legit harm can come from being very hostile towards devs - it has a direct impact on their morale, the quality of the work they can do, their personal lives, etc.
> 
> 
> There is no debate and there's nothing inconsistent here. I'm not arguing that any of your criticisms are wrong. We clearly are just looking at the event from two entirely different angles. I merely expressed that it saddens me that nobody can see it from the angle that I do. I didn't "check out cause I was losing an argument", I took a break from the thread cause it was legit ruining my day. There's a common thread in this line of work that the product is more important than the people and it's incredibly demoralizing. It's everything from the kinds of comments you see here, to the crunch/overtime problems people have, to the completely uninformed "ugh this is garbage, it's just a lazy port" kind of "reviews" you heard all the time from people who have no idea how games are actually made, etc. It's very hard to stay motivated and in good spirits at work while having a discussion with someone about how that kind of work is an "insult to the industry/fans" and that the people behind it don't matter if the product sucks.
> 
> I'm trying to also make the point that vitriol does not, despite what seems to be the belief, do a better job of getting your point across. You might think it does, but it doesn't. Again, as someone who IS on this side of the discussion, I can tell you that YES, devs absolutely do read the twitter/reddit/facebook/etc everything else that people post. Your feedback is received. Just because it's not implemented or directly responded to doesn't mean the message wasn't received. I mean, devs are also gamers. They're also right there with you posting on those same forums about other games and things. A lot of the time, the people on the receiving end agree with you, but their hands are tied. Don't get me wrong, the vitriolic approach technically works as well - but it also creates resentment. If I get two points of feedback, one is "man, I love this series, I wish I could see x feature next time", and another is a guy screaming at me "your last game was garbage, you should be fired", which of the two do you figure I'm going to give more weight? Which of the two is going to leave me more excited to do a good job and contribute the community?
> 
> Edit:
> I guess this is all just a very long-winded way of saying, like was suggested before, that I think it would be nice for the gaming community to have a bit more empathy for devs.  It is what it is, I guess.




See, if you had said all of this earlier, this conversation would have ended about a page and a half ago. THIS is the kind of response I was looking for. No, I'm not being sarcastic here, either. I do mean it.

And I apologize for being a cock nugget to you. That was pretty harsh of me.


----------



## TedEH

S'all good, I think we're on the same page. It's hard to get the tone and message right in typed up long winded comments when frustrated about it, so my bad on that part.


----------



## Ordacleaphobia

Well, California is on fire again.
My grandmother's house was burning as they were evacuating, and my folks' rental house is probably a pile of ash right about now. Have a friend who's also probably fresh out of a home too. I know my folks have hefty fire insurance and I'm sure my grandmother did as well, but just imagining all of the hassle they're all going to have to deal with sounds like a nightmare.


----------



## PunkBillCarson

Ordacleaphobia said:


> Well, California is on fire again.
> My grandmother's house was burning as they were evacuating, and my folks' rental house is probably a pile of ash right about now. Have a friend who's also probably fresh out of a home too. I know my folks have hefty fire insurance and I'm sure my grandmother did as well, but just imagining all of the hassle they're all going to have to deal with sounds like a nightmare.



Goddamn, I'm sorry, dude... Sending good vibes your way.


----------



## Jarmake

Been depressed lately. It's always the same thing in fall, when the darkness comes sooner and sooner every day and everything is so dead.


----------



## PunkBillCarson

Jarmake said:


> Been depressed lately. It's always the same thing in fall, when the darkness comes sooner and sooner every day and everything is so dead.




What you see as depressing is a gift to me.


----------



## p0ke

PunkBillCarson said:


> What you see as depressing is a gift to me.



It's not even about whether you like it or not, the lack of sunlight just easily does that. Over here it gets super dark during autumn and I'm feeling it too, even though I'm not exactly mr sunshine. I don't know how it is in the US, but over here the sun doesn't come up at all during the darkest times and that can really fuck your mind up. And it's worse the further up north you go. Autumn is the worst time IMO, it gets a fair bit lighter once the snow comes (well, more like *IF* it comes, these days... ).


----------



## Jarmake

p0ke said:


> It's not even about whether you like it or not, the lack of sunlight just easily does that. Over here it gets super dark during autumn and I'm feeling it too, even though I'm not exactly mr sunshine. I don't know how it is in the US, but over here the sun doesn't come up at all during the darkest times and that can really fuck your mind up. And it's worse the further up north you go. Autumn is the worst time IMO, it gets a fair bit lighter once the snow comes (well, more like *IF* it comes, these days... ).



Yeah, you're right. It's so damn dark when there's no snow. When I leave to work itcs dark and when I get out of work it's dark during kaamos season. I've always been prone to depression and autumn just makes it worse for me and quite many other finns too. Kaamosmasennus or seasonal affective disorder (SAD) is a known phenomenon after all...


----------



## Kaura

Being unemployed is driving me nuts. At this rate I need to sell at least one of my guitars just to cover the few bills I have.


----------



## Steinmetzify

Stan Lee passed away today...


----------



## Randy

steinmetzify said:


> Stan Lee passed away today...



He had a long run and honestly, a seemingly unfair/miserable last few years. As a fan I'll miss him but as a human, I'm glad for the guy that it's over.


----------



## PunkBillCarson

p0ke said:


> It's not even about whether you like it or not, the lack of sunlight just easily does that. Over here it gets super dark during autumn and I'm feeling it too, even though I'm not exactly mr sunshine. I don't know how it is in the US, but over here the sun doesn't come up at all during the darkest times and that can really fuck your mind up. And it's worse the further up north you go. Autumn is the worst time IMO, it gets a fair bit lighter once the snow comes (well, more like *IF* it comes, these days... ).




To each their own. I feel like I would enjoy something like that here, honestly. I mean, I know that's not for everyone, clearly, but I tend to either like it dark or at least an overcast sky. I can't stand the sun.


----------



## Randy

PunkBillCarson said:


> To each their own. I feel like I would enjoy something like that here, honestly. I mean, I know that's not for everyone, clearly, but I tend to either like it dark or at least an overcast sky. I can't stand the sun.



Not to disagree with you, but your disposition would be considered exceptional. I mean, you're licensed to feel the way that you do, but Seasonal Affectiveness Disorder is a very real thing and tied directly to the reduced amount of sunlight one sees during the fall. Like I said, nothing wrong with feeling the way that you do but I'd caution normalizing it (preference for dark/overcast over sun) to the point of being voice in a way that makes it sound equally common.


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## PunkBillCarson

Randy said:


> Not to disagree with you, but your disposition would be considered exceptional. I mean, you're licensed to feel the way that you do, but Seasonal Affectiveness Disorder is a very real thing and tied directly to the reduced amount of sunlight one sees during the fall. Like I said, nothing wrong with feeling the way that you do but I'd caution normalizing it (preference for dark/overcast over sun) to the point of being voice in a way that makes it sound equally common.




Oh no, I wouldn't do something like that. I happen to think that I'm the odd man out on all of that, but if you look at all these threads here, I'm typically the odd man on everything. No I'm not trying to demean the way others feel about it and I sympathize with them in their plight. I'm just saying that for me personally, it's something I would enjoy, that whole being dark all the time thing.


----------



## KnightBrolaire

winter is the worst time of the year in minnesota. It's pitch black by 1630 already. Doesn't help that the wind kicks up this time of year and makes this place the most miserable/coldest place in the CONUS, or that people here can't drive for shit (seriously MN drivers are dangerous enough when the weather is good).


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## TedEH

Fun story: In 2016, Sky Travel used some pseudo-science to calculate what is the most depressing day of the year. Surprise, it's my birthday.


----------



## MaxOfMetal

TedEH said:


> Fun story: In 2016, Sky Travel used some pseudo-science to calculate what is the most depressing day of the year. Surprise, it's my birthday.



That's some Tom Waits shit right there.


----------



## Randy

KnightBrolaire said:


> winter is the worst time of the year in minnesota. It's pitch black by 1630 already. Doesn't help that the wind kicks up this time of year and makes this place the most miserable/coldest place in the CONUS, or that people here can't drive for shit (seriously MN drivers are dangerous enough when the weather is good).



I'm not an old man "drive like hell and you'll get there!" *shaking cane* or think I'm some fantastic driver by any means but it's like clockwork around here. I drive to work on the Thruway ~45 minutes EVERY weekday for the last 15 years, set my cruise control to 70mph OR 75mph if I'm in a rush. I get passed less than a half dozen times on a normal day but if it's snowing lightly/raining heavily outside and I'm confident enough in the roads to go my normal speed, I'll set my cruise control like normal but I'll get passed 20 or 30 times on my way home. Every time.


----------



## KnightBrolaire

Randy said:


> I'm not an old man "drive like hell and you'll get there!" *shaking cane* or think I'm some fantastic driver by any means but it's like clockwork around here. I drive to work on the Thruway ~45 minutes EVERY weekday for the last 15 years, set my cruise control to 70mph OR 75mph if I'm in a rush. I get passed less than a half dozen times on a normal day but if it's snowing lightly/raining heavily outside and I'm confident enough in the roads to go my normal speed, I'll set my cruise control like normal but I'll get passed 20 or 30 times on my way home. Every time.


The main problem here is that minnesotans are incapable of merging properly at speed, which in turn causes people to dive out of the right hand lane into the passing lane to avoid having to slam on their brakes/hit the merging car, which in turn impedes people in the passing lane, causing them to slam on their brakes. Rinse, repeat, ad infinitum. Couple that with dumbasses that want to do 60/65 in the passing lane without ever moving over, and it creates a giant clusterfuck.
The "minnesota merge" is so endemic to this area that the federal govt has had to retrofit major highways so that the merge lanes are like Iowa/texas merge lanes (ie way longer than actually needed to get up to speed), and the local govt has put up signs encouraging proper merging. The problem is people still merge like fucking idiots overall. It's so engrained in some of these dumbasses that they'll continue to try and merge at speeds<50 mph even 100+ miles from the cities.

I drive about an hour each way to and from work, so I deal with this crap all the time, but I just get sick of people doing it. I've lived all over the place and never have I encountered worse drivers. Hell I'll take Chicago or Houston drivers over these dipshits, since at least in those cities people generally know how to merge.


----------



## Metropolis

KnightBrolaire said:


> winter is the worst time of the year in minnesota. It's pitch black by 1630 already. Doesn't help that the wind kicks up this time of year and makes this place the most miserable/coldest place in the CONUS, or that people here can't drive for shit (seriously MN drivers are dangerous enough when the weather is good).



Sun sets at 15:53 in southern Finland at mid november, and we change time one hour back for winter time to have one extra hour of light. Same parallel latitude with southern coast of Alaska


----------



## KnightBrolaire

Metropolis said:


> Sun sets at 15:53 in southern Finland at mid november, and we change time one hour back for winter time to have one extra hour of light. Same parallel latitude with southern coast of Alaska


yeah but it's probably warmer where you are. we get basically the same kind of winter as northern finland here (ie fucking cold). Average winter temps are -30C to -7C, but we get a lot of wind, which drops it as low as -50.


----------



## Ordacleaphobia

KnightBrolaire said:


> The main problem here is that minnesotans are incapable of merging properly at speed, which in turn causes people to dive out of the right hand lane into the passing lane to avoid having to slam on their brakes/hit the merging car, which in turn impedes people in the passing lane, causing them to slam on their brakes. Rinse, repeat, ad infinitum. Couple that with dumbasses that want to do 60/65 in the passing lane without ever moving over, and it creates a giant clusterfuck.
> The "minnesota merge" is so endemic to this area that the federal govt has had to retrofit major highways so that the merge lanes are like Iowa/texas merge lanes (ie way longer than actually needed to get up to speed), and the local govt has put up signs encouraging proper merging. The problem is people still merge like fucking idiots overall. It's so engrained in some of these dumbasses that they'll continue to try and merge at speeds<50 mph even 100+ miles from the cities.
> 
> I drive about an hour each way to and from work, so I deal with this crap all the time, but I just get sick of people doing it. I've lived all over the place and never have I encountered worse drivers. Hell I'll take Chicago or Houston drivers over these dipshits, since at least in those cities people generally know how to merge.



Hi. I work in a college town in California. 
I feel like you understand me and my struggle.


----------



## Seabeast2000

KnightBrolaire said:


> winter is the worst time of the year in minnesota. It's pitch black by 1630 already. Doesn't help that the wind kicks up this time of year and makes this place the most miserable/coldest place in the CONUS, or that people here can't drive for shit (seriously MN drivers are dangerous enough when the weather is good).


Fuck that MN winter, i'll take lake effect snow and the moderated temps all day before that cryo blast called MN.


----------



## KnightBrolaire

The906 said:


> Fuck that MN winter, i'll take lake effect snow and the moderated temps all day before that cryo blast called MN.


yeah, I used to live in SW michigan and it was significantly warmer than it is here. The lake really kept that area warmer. Minneapolis is the coldest/windiest city in the CONUS. shit it's colder here than it was in upstate NY.


Ordacleaphobia said:


> Hi. I work in a college town in California.
> I feel like you understand me and my struggle.


let me sing you the song of my people


----------



## p0ke

KnightBrolaire said:


> yeah but it's probably warmer where you are. we get basically the same kind of winter as northern finland here (ie fucking cold). Average winter temps are -30C to -7C, but we get a lot of wind, which drops it as low as -50.



The temperature is not the issue, it's the darkness. Consider what Metropolis wrote: it gets dark at 15:53 (roughly 4pm) and the sun doesn't rise until like 10 next morning, and this is southern Finland and the darkest days are still some time away. Myself, I don't see the sun at all on work days  I go to work at 8am and it's as dark as in a troll's ass (as we say here) and when I leave the sun has already set again. Can you imagine what it's like further up north? Plus it just keeps getting darker still.
Winters are not generally that cold over here anymore and they start much later, the coldest time is around January-February now and usually it's only a few degrees below zero (in southern Finland). Last winter was surprisingly cold - it was roughly -20C for almost a month straight, but that's not common anymore. So this winter should be really mild (I hope so, because oil heating, which I have, gets fucking expensive when it's really cold).


----------



## TedEH

A small, mildly sad observation this morning:
Ever notice how people sometimes seem to space themselves out as far from other people as possible? I'm in a coffee place right now as I type this- someone recently came in, sat right in the center of the biggest unoccupied space. But then the person at the end of the row got up pretty much at the same time, so the new person moved to the end, as if trying to ensure that the distribution in the room is as spread out as possible.

Does anyone else find it strange that we complain so much about the struggles of connecting with people around us, but then at the same time distance ourselves intentionally, as if those two sentiments aren't at odds with each other.

This has been my dumb pseudo-intellectual, not-finished-my-coffee observation for the morning.


----------



## BrailleDecibel

KnightBrolaire said:


> yeah, I used to live in SW michigan and it was significantly warmer than it is here. The lake really kept that area warmer. Minneapolis is the coldest/windiest city in the CONUS. shit it's colder here than it was in upstate NY.
> 
> let me sing you the song of my people



Funny you should post that, I am feeling a bit of "Everything I see reminds me of her, God I wish I didn't care anymore..."


----------



## PunkBillCarson

TedEH said:


> Does anyone else find it strange that we complain so much about the struggles of connecting with people around us, but then at the same time distance ourselves intentionally, as if those two sentiments aren't at odds with each other.



I don't find that strange at all for a couple of reasons:

It sounds like the person at hand was trying to distance himself and unless you know that person intimately, it's impossible to know what they're like outside the cafe. Maybe they're like that all the time? 

Other reason being that it's not quite so simple. Let me put it this way: I, for the most part, love being by myself other than being with my wife and a few family members. Now granted, there are times when I do like to socialize, and to do so, I get on Twitch or my Discord and what that does is allow me to keep people as far as I possibly can or choose to while still maintaining a friendship. 

The reason I choose THAT for socializing is simply because I've experienced people on a closer level and I don't much care for it. People carry baggage with them and sometimes that baggage can affect your way of life. If you're someone not really looking for drama, then online, ironically for all the assholes on it, is a better option.

People carry baggage with them online, yes, but it takes away the discomfort of having to confront that baggage with that person and what I mean by baggage is: people carry prejudices you don't necessarily like, people can just rub you the wrong way, or people can be just down right fucking idiotic. When online, you've got the option of coming back to it later or sometimes not at all. 

I realize all of that sounds rather selfish of me, but I think that when it comes down to it, some people want their lives to be as drama free as possible and people in general are a bit of a mixed bag as it is. There's a reason people have very few actual friends when they grow up and I believe it's because people are less and less tolerant for things that do not suit them or their lifestyle as they grow older. Simply, some of us just want peace and fucking quiet and socializing doesn't always bring promises of that, whether we like people or not.


----------



## TedEH

I'm not quite sure you picked up on what I was getting at. I'm not saying you have to develop some kind of intimate connection with every stranger you encounter, but a lot of people seem to have this weirdly anti-social behavior that's at odds with the also-pretty-average tendency to want to connect with people on some level. How many people claim to be very lonely, but also refuse to go out to any place where they might meet someone? How often do you enter a room and intentionally grab the table that's farthest from everyone just for fear of bothering anyone? Is it similar to that behavior where some people will actively avoid people they're attracted to? Why would you intentionally go out to a place full of people when you want to be far away from people? Don't get me wrong, I understand some cases why people would do this - maybe it was an appropriate place to meet someone, but they have no interest in interacting with anyone else there - maybe they feel a sense of not wanting to impose on another person's space, etc. Maybe spending too much time online has left people with a fear of engaging with people in real life.

Twitch and Discord are a pretty different setting/context to being out in public, and entirely outside of what I'm talking about. If anything, they're sort of the opposite - they're starting in a disconnected state and adding some controlled socializing. As opposed to going to a very public/social space (a cafe) and acting in a defensive way.

As a side note, I don't personally think it's all that healthy to just avoid socializing because "people have baggage". A casual conversation with a stranger doesn't mean you suddenly are in charge of sorting out their issues.



PunkBillCarson said:


> some of us just want peace and fucking quiet


Oh, I get that - but going out into a public space isn't really the right place for that expectation.


----------



## PunkBillCarson

So you're asking why would someone go into a public setting to avoid socializing? Seems easy enough to answer to me; change in environment. It really depends on that person, though. People do different things for different reasons and to find out what makes them tick as it were would be a strenuous exercise.

As far as the whole Twitch/Discord thing, I was merely using that as an example as to what -I- use for interaction most of the time.

As far as it not being healthy to avoid socializing, well for ANY reason, again, it's up to that person. Maybe that person in particular in content NOT socializing and that could be for any number of reasons. If a person feels better and happier not interacting, I can't really say it's unhealthy, nor can you, since you cannot possibly be aware of over 7 billion people's mental states. Sure it's "normal" for people to interact, but then again, there are people that live despite what's considered "normal." Also, you'd be surprised how often it happens where a stranger starts telling you their life story after only 5 minutes of interaction. When that happens, I've pretty much checked the fuck out. At least wait until the first time we hang out (IF that happens.)

This subject you're talking about has a number of variable and it's not so clear cut. I'm simply bringing you the perspective of only ONE person (myself) and I'm not claiming to speak for everyone. Anything I throw out there that doesn't apply to me is a guess at best.


----------



## Ordacleaphobia

TedEH said:


> I'm not quite sure you picked up on what I was getting at. I'm not saying you have to develop some kind of intimate connection with every stranger you encounter, but a lot of people seem to have this weirdly anti-social behavior that's at odds with the also-pretty-average tendency to want to connect with people on some level. How many people claim to be very lonely, but also refuse to go out to any place where they might meet someone? How often do you enter a room and intentionally grab the table that's farthest from everyone just for fear of bothering anyone? Is it similar to that behavior where some people will actively avoid people they're attracted to? Why would you intentionally go out to a place full of people when you want to be far away from people? Don't get me wrong, I understand some cases why people would do this - maybe it was an appropriate place to meet someone, but they have no interest in interacting with anyone else there - maybe they feel a sense of not wanting to impose on another person's space, etc. Maybe spending too much time online has left people with a fear of engaging with people in real life.



I do this! 
I do all of this, actually. I am the exact person you described initially- I always pick the spot farthest off for myself, but still like talking with people. I've actually thought a lot about why I act this way. 

For starters, I'm super weird about my privacy. _*Super*_ weird. If I'm on the phone and there's someone else in the house, I'll go outside. If the neighbors are outside, I'll go in the garage. I'll sit and talk in my car in the driveway if I have to. So if I know I'm going to be doing something on my phone or whatever, 110% I need to make sure there's no conceivable way anyone else can _possibly_ see my screen. If this is not the case though, there are other concerns.

If there's a family, I don't want to be near them because families tend to be loud. 
If there's a couple, I don't want to be near them because I feel I'm intruding. (Again- weird about privacy, even when it pertains to others.)
If it's just a single person, I don't especially _*care*_, but will tend to reach for a further seat under the assumption that they just like their space.

I like the idea of just chit-chatting the randos you meet everyday, but in reality, meaningful small talk is somewhat difficult and without a _*reason*_ to talk to each other, more often than not it just feels forced. You need a context, something that prompts interaction, or a shared interest. I can talk to people at shows because if I'm standing next to you at an After the Burial show, we can probably have a good conversation about at least 1 thing. Talking to people at the bank though is a different story, you know? 

This blossoms out some more when you consider that people tend to be somewhat cold and cynical when dealing with strangers. If you have a not-great history with social interaction like I do, you fear rejection and judgement from this on some level. _Even_ _when_ there's that shared interest, etc. This is why I don't hit bars too often, and even when I do, I rarely if ever speak to people other than who I went there with. 

You mention spending a lot of time online, and how that could affect something like this- I'm not sure if it has the type of impact you're describing though. I spent a *ton* of time online, played enough WoW that I was actually paying a good chunk of my rent in college from carrying people through raids / arena. Online things change, when you're talking with people, you're almost always going to have that "setting bonus." In WoW, I can talk to anyone because there's always something to talk about. The dungeon we're running, new patch notes, the new story update, whatever. On SSO, I can talk to all of you guys about new Ibanez models, stupid Kiesel drama, new bridge designs, etc. There is always something prompting a discussion and everyone knows everyone at least gives a fraction of a fuck. Even if you guys end up butting heads, it's easier to deal with social rejection on the internet. Block buttons are everywhere, the ignore list is always there for you, and it's easy to just write people off as "retards on the internet." Real life is very different. 
So, for people like me, maybe? My experience with meeting people online branches into how I meet people in person, but not as a phobia; more as a "wishful thinking" type of deal. I wish talking to people / meeting people in person was as easy and "risk-free" as it is over the web- I feel like I'd know a lot more people.

tl;dr- For some people, socializing is work and takes effort. Some people want to _want_ to socialize, but just aren't good at it. Some of us are just weird. Some of us are all of the above. Like you, I really wish I understood it better, but humans are strange creatures


----------



## PunkBillCarson

I will say for sure one thing that bothers me in conversation in public is when I'm trying to leave a conversation. I'm giving all the visual cues, like turning my head towards the door, my body isn't even facing that person anymore, I'm trying not to be rude, but then they just keep fucking going on... And before anyone asks, no... If you have a certain degree of social anxiety, you can empathize with how hard it can be to say "goodbye" without wondering if you're going to sound rude or not.


----------



## TedEH

PunkBillCarson said:


> So you're asking why would someone go into a public setting to avoid socializing? Seems easy enough to answer to me; change in environment.


But then you didn't go out into public because you want to avoid socializing, you went because you wanted to avoid the current environment.

Either way, I didn't mean to deconstruct it very far, it was just an observation that when taken at face value, some peoples motivations might be at odds with eachother or pulled in opposing directions. I'll go out into public when I don't feel like just being by myself, but at the same time might not want to directly interact with anyone for very long. There's a bit of dissonance there, I think.



Ordacleaphobia said:


> So, for people like me, maybe? My experience with meeting people online branches into how I meet people in person, but not as a phobia; more as a "wishful thinking" type of deal. I wish talking to people / meeting people in person was as easy and "risk-free" as it is over the web- I feel like I'd know a lot more people.


I maintain that socializing online and in person are so distinct from each other as to be almost impossible to properly compare. I don't think of online interactions as really socializing. Me replying to you guys on this forum doesn't feel like socializing to me, not in the same way that having a conversation in person would be. Even the case of online messages to someone you've met in person before caries a different kind of weight - an air of reality to it - since you might have to continue that conversation face-to-face some day.

Bringing it back around to the topic of the thread:
I sent a message to someone last week and they just never responded. This definitely makes me kinda sad.


----------



## PunkBillCarson

^Ironically, that's part of the reason I don't socialize with anyone much anymore.


----------



## Ordacleaphobia

TedEH said:


> I maintain that socializing online and in person are so distinct from each other as to be almost impossible to properly compare. I don't think of online interactions as really socializing. Me replying to you guys on this forum doesn't feel like socializing to me, not in the same way that having a conversation in person would be. Even the case of online messages to someone you've met in person before caries a different kind of weight - an air of reality to it - since you might have to continue that conversation face-to-face some day.



Pretty much. It's totally different.
It still feels like socializing to me, but in it's own kind of way, if that makes any sense. Almost like an adult version of summer camp. I like you guys and enjoy talking with you all but I know I'll probably never see anyone from here.



> I sent a message to someone last week and they just never responded. This definitely makes me kinda sad.







PunkBillCarson said:


> ^Ironically, that's part of the reason I don't socialize with anyone much anymore.



Same, actually. People are so damn flakey these days its ridiculous.


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## PunkBillCarson

Agree to disagree with the whole socializing online isn't comparable. I think it really depends on the connections you make with people online. I've got people online that I know far more about and they know about me than anyone IRL. The same with talking to people at the store. Sometimes you become friends, sometimes you never see that person again. Plus, as has been added before, if I want to socialize with people on Twitch, there's already a basis for our conversation, namely, the game that they're playing or the one we're watching someone else play, so there's an added advantage. In public, you have to overhear someone talking about something or bring up something they're wearing to start a conversation. The pretense is already set for me online.


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## TedEH

To each their own I guess. Whenever it's online it feels to me like I'm not really engaging with someone in the same way. I could just disappear from the thread for a week, mid conversation and it wouldn't matter. There's no facial expressions or body language to parse. There's no immediate risk to anything. You have all the time in the world to think things out and type very intentionally. I think I've disappeared from threads before - I'd be every second post in a conversation, then just leave and not come back until several pages and days later and the subject has completely changed.

There's also the whole anonymity thing. Technically, I could be putting on a character, or anyone here could be. I could be an elderly lady, or a robot, and nobody would know the difference. I can "be confident" by speaking in absolutes and choosing strong vocabulary. I can hide any character flaws that I chose. I can hide my face. Nobody here really "knows me" in any sense of the word, nor can I claim to to really know anyone here. If I met you on the street, I have no means by which to recognize anyone here, or to predict any of your behavior in the way that you could with an acquaintance. None of that applies in person- you're just stuck with who and what you are.


----------



## PunkBillCarson

Yeah there's a phrase for all that that you just described in the "real world" it's called being fake. Also, I've found that in my experience, people are more likely to be themselves online BECAUSE there is no risk. They can check out any time that they want. I've found that it's far more easier to be me here than it when I have to put on a front for someone near me to avoid any kind of discomfort.

You never really know anyone's intentions in the so called real world either simply due to the fact that they can be friends to your face and then an enemy behind your back.


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## Ordacleaphobia

PunkBillCarson said:


> Yeah there's a phrase for all that that you just described in the "real world" it's called being fake. Also, I've found that in my experience, people are more likely to be themselves online BECAUSE there is no risk. They can check out any time that they want. I've found that it's far more easier to be me here than it when I have to put on a front for someone near me to avoid any kind of discomfort.
> 
> You never really know anyone's intentions in the so called real world either simply due to the fact that they can be friends to your face and then an enemy behind your back.



I'm much the same, but people definitely do both. There are more than enough people putting on a front on the internet


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## PunkBillCarson

Ordacleaphobia said:


> I'm much the same, but people definitely do both. There are more than enough people putting on a front on the internet




There is for sure, I'm not denying that. I'm simply saying that either way you go, you're going to find that, so for me, I'm going to go with the option that's more beneficial for me, and that's socializing online. It's just more convenient. I mean, it's not like you're talking to a robot on the other end unless people are just being kidnapped and replaced with them.


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## TedEH

To be clear, I'm not arguing against socializing online, or saying that it's objectively worse than socializing in person, I'm just making a distinction between the two.


----------



## MFB

PunkBillCarson said:


> Yeah there's a phrase for all that that you just described in the "real world" it's called being fake. Also, I've found that in my experience, people are more likely to be themselves online BECAUSE there is no risk. They can check out any time that they want. I've found that it's far more easier to be me here than it when I have to put on a front for someone near me to avoid any kind of discomfort.
> 
> You never really know anyone's intentions in the so called real world either simply due to the fact that they can be friends to your face and then an enemy behind your back.



I don't know if I'd say everyone would be fake, there's definitely a large majority of the FB/Insta crowd that would be, as that's what is rewarded on those platforms: showing off a life of luxury that's nothing but paradise all the time. Because nobody ever has to work for those things to happen right? Wrong.

But I'd say the rest of people are probably more _refined _online. I tend to pick my words more carefully when speaking in text or through email, so it carries a certain weight; but in person with that face to face interaction, I can't pause to think of a word, or say a sentence and then erase it from someone's memory so I can say it again with how I really wanted to say it.


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## PunkBillCarson

TedEH said:


> To be clear, I'm not arguing against socializing online, or saying that it's objectively worse than socializing in person, I'm just making a distinction between the two.




No, no, mate you're all good. I respect your opinion and I understand where you're coming from.


----------



## squids

not sure if this belongs here but i am sad about it so here goes;
was talking to this girl for about 6 weeks, pretty much everyday. we get along really well. we hung out a week in but she got spooked and said she just got out of a long relationship (as did i) so we slowed down a lot. fast forward to last week, we agree to hang out again at her place, we hook up and i sleep over, get breakfast together and take a nap and cuddle together, but we're both still clear that we aren't ready for relationships yet. I ask her if she would want to do it again and she's into it, we kiss goodbye and i leave.
Only problem is that i keep telling myself over and over that i don't want a relationship with her and that i just want to hook up with her, but subconsciously i keep drifting back to the fact that i want to date her. 
After we hook up, we don't really talk all week and then when i do text her, she doesnt answer. wait a day, text her again, no answer. she posts stuff on her snapchat story, i take the hint, just hurts i guess. my brother thinks that from what i tell him, she definitely likes me more than she is comfortable with right now, and is just ghosting me to put the brakes on things. i just hate it cause i am not ready for a relationship but i actually want one with her at some point. sorry for venting.


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## TedEH

squids said:


> ghosting


What makes me sad is that ghosting is somehow ok here. I hate when people do that. It's immature. Maybe you're dodging a bullet.


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## Ordacleaphobia

TedEH said:


> What makes me sad is that ghosting is somehow ok here. I hate when people do that. It's immature. Maybe you're dodging a bullet.



Yeah, I never understood this either. If she said "Yeah, I just need to make sure this is the right decision and in order to do that I need some time to myself. Maybe we can hang out in a couple weeks?" I don't think anyone would take that personally. But vanishing off the face of the earth is just gutting, I feel you man; we've all been there.

But @squids if you aren't ready either, maybe she's doing you a favor, in a roundabout kind of way. I had a girl do that to me once, pump the brakes on us getting together because we had both recently gotten out of long term relationships. I told her everything was fine and that I knew what I wanted but I totally didn't; she was right from the start, we should have waited, and things got complicated real quick. If you're grounded enough in where you are to know you aren't ready, maybe a helping hand to make sure you don't make any stupid decisions is a blessing in disguise.

I'd say just give her her space, wait what feels like a long time, and then hit her up, go out and do something low-pressure together. If you wait long enough, you can probably get a pretty good read on her and where she's at. That is, if this whole vanishing act doesn't turn you off of her.


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## Xaios

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/north/bear-attack-mayo-two-dead-1.4922567

Friend of a friend.


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## TedEH

Wow. Sorry to hear that.


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## Ordacleaphobia

Wow, man. I'm so sorry.
I can't imagine what the husband is going through.


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## Vyn

A month ago my girlfriend and I split up - was told that I was "The perfect boyfriend" but she wasn't ready for a relationship. Kinda flummoxed, have spent the last month working out how the fuck to deal with that, let alone the feelings for her. I totally respect her decision, just rather sad because she is an amazing human being who I still want in my life in some capacity however everything is so raw at the moment.


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## PunkBillCarson

Vyn said:


> A month ago my girlfriend and I split up - was told that I was "The perfect boyfriend" but she wasn't ready for a relationship. Kinda flummoxed, have spent the last month working out how the fuck to deal with that, let alone the feelings for her. I totally respect her decision, just rather sad because she is an amazing human being who I still want in my life in some capacity however everything is so raw at the moment.




I know how that is, when you want someone to be in your life rather than not at all. If you need anything like to talk, send me a message okay, mate?


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## Vyn

PunkBillCarson said:


> I know how that is, when you want someone to be in your life rather than not at all. If you need anything like to talk, send me a message okay, mate?



Cheers man. When I can get something legible typed, I'll shoot you a PM


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## DiezelMonster

I have to put my German shepherd Betsy down today. We found out 2 weeks ago she had cancer and in that short time her health has gone down hill to the point she cant walk on her own. 

Its killing myself and my partner. Betsy is our first dog together on our own. 

Her beginnings were also not great as we rescued her from a shelter where she had been for 2 months. She was about to be euthanized when we came along. 

We gave her the best 5 years we could but this is literally tearing me up. 

My sadness is deep. 

I love you Betsy.


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## p0ke

^
Pretty much this. This dark season is getting to me as well. We had snow for a while and that made everything a bit lighter, but now everything looks like the cover of Blackwater Park. Today I was walking to work at the exact time the street lights were set to turn off so it felt as if even those don't want to have anything to do with me  I just feel like I'm giving everything I have and getting very little or nothing back from it. It'll pass, but it's really annoying to feel this way every once in a while for no real reason


----------



## watson503

Today marks ten years since my little brother's death. We were 14 years apart and he would have been 32, his death tore my family apart and my dad has only recently begun acting somewhat like his old self. I'm just listening to music this morning and thinking back on old times, last night was harder for some reason. Make sure to make the most of the time you have here with those you love.


----------



## lurè

My dad has being diagnosed with lung cancer.

He's never smoked, never had respiratory problems, never had a bronchitis and now is at the hospital with 3 bone metastasis.
Doctors say his blood values are totally fine and he's not having any respiratory problem despite the cancer since it hasn't affected bronchi so he should be fine with the therapy.

I took it pretty badly: I've just recently started eating and sleeping normally.


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## TedEH

My sister tried to do a good thing for Christmas and it didn't turn out quite as well as it could have...

She once bought her kid a drum kit and had lucked out in finding one that had been owned by a legit drummer who maintained it well - entry level, but pretty nice when tuned up. Nephew gave up on it (possibly because he was too young to focus on it), so they ended up getting rid of the kit, but he's been saying he misses having it and wants to try again now that he's a bit older and can probably focus on it now (he's also probably jealous of his brother who has been playing bass).

So fast-forward to holiday season this year, sister decides it's time to try again with the drums, and we've been talking back and forth looking at used ads, and had picked out some good options. Decision gets made to go for a used Pearl Soundcheck kit - it's shiny and red, looks clean from the pictures, is complete (other than the throne, but I can cover that), comes with entry-level Zildjians (good enough for a kid to learn on). Sounds like a great deal.

I get a message a couple of days ago saying all the sudden circumstances have changed, so they're going to grab a different kit instead - it's Baron branded, and half the price. (And this was a tiny budget to start with.) The photos on the ad show the shells piled on the floor, and little else, but they got a message from him claiming it was complete. They were on the way to get it already and were going to store it at my place until Christmas (that part was arranged already). I look at the ad for the new one and strongly try to urge them to reconsider -> and I offered to pay the difference between the two, but they refused to let me pay for any of it.

It gets to my place (sisters husband drops it off, then went home). I set the kit up, and as I'm doing so, I keep thinking "oh no." The shells aren't particularly heavy. Oh no. The mounting hardware is really rusty. Oh no. The stands are really flimsy. Oh no. The hats and one cymbal are basically a couple of rusty sheets of tin in the vague shape of cymbals. Like I've seen some entry level hats and cymbals before - but these are toys. Really rusty toys at that. Oh no. The skins feel like construction paper. While the other shells are probably salvageable with a good tuning, the snare sounds like absolute garbage.

As I'm assembling this thing I keep thinking that I can't, in good conscience, give this as a gift to someone who wants to learn. If it doesn't make the sound a drum kit should make, it's going to turn him off of drumming immediately. So I dug out my practice kit, which is some old Westbury shells (still entry level, but again, decent with some maintenance), took the mesh heads off and put the old batter heads back on. Fastest tuning job in the world. It's workable. The snare still sounds not-great, but easily 100x better than the other one. But I don't have anything right now to replace the cymbals. And the plastic wrapping/covering on the floor tom is all cracked and ugly looking.

So I'm stuck in a rock vs hard place situation - do I leave them with the setup they bought? Do I give them my Westbury shells instead? Or parts of it (they probably would never notice if I swapped out the snare, which is the worst part of the cheap kit). I could re-skin everything but new skins would cost more than the whole kit did. It's tempting to go out and just buy the Pearl kit without asking them, and I can sell off the rest of the shells to make back some of the difference.

Gah. I just don't want to give my nephews something that isn't proper.


----------



## TedEH

Maybe.... I could buy the Pearl kit... And sell the two other sets of shells, and sell the mesh heads, I'd probably break even.


----------



## p0ke

There's still some time before Christmas - I'd call your sister over and show her just how shitty the kit is, I'm sure she'll understand your point. Then you can work out what to do - buying the Pearl-kit sounds like the way to go. If you can afford it, I'd say also buy the other kit just in case, and then sell it again if they decide to go with the piece of crap after all (or keep it and give it as a birthday present or something later).


----------



## TedEH

Really, the biggest road block (I think) is that I don't want to insult them or make them feel bad for not spending a bunch of money. They have a family, and I have... disposable income.  I had already tried to offer to help to get the Pearl before, but they wanted to just handle it. I think if I suggest that it's workable as-is, in any sense, they'll insist we stick with what we've got. It's not the end of the world if he gets a beater kit -> Right now the biggest thing bugging me is the hats. The hats feel like a couple of bit of weirdly rusty tupperware or something. I can't describe how bad the hats are. Maybe I can find some cheap-ish b8 cymbals somewhere and just swap those out.


----------



## TedEH

I'm slightly less sad now that I realized that I have some drummer friends I can probably buy stuff off of for cheap. I've got some pearl hi-hats lined up for cheap and that makes me feel 100x better about it since it was the weakest link, and the one thing that I think would have made this kit not viable to learn with. I'm willing to give up the Westbury shells I have, the stands are still super cheap but I don't think they're bad enough to impede a kid trying to learn. I think maybe a good way to go is to go with the best of what I have available and offer to contribute to upgrades if he sticks with it.

Maybe in the long run, if he takes it seriously, I can get myself a new kit and he can take my old one.


----------



## ImNotAhab

The new Men In Black Trailer looks utterly atrocious.... Hellboy did not looks as bad but still not great.

PS This could also belong in the First World Problems Thread.


----------



## pondman

Its Christmas tomorrow, I hate Christmas


----------



## lewis

I have 2 daughters and anything like Christmas and taking them to places with Santa, lights, trees, presents etc etc brings absolutely zero emotion from me. None. Not even a twitch.

The idea that I am emotionless to my daughters enjoying themselves for xmas is sad.
I give so little fecks about xmas that it even seems to effect this too.


----------



## MickD7

This year has been been an uphill battle defined by Chaos/Suffering vs Order/Happiness. 

I have a hard time contemplating the things that have occured this year and the things that have happened in my life and the lives loved ones, family and friend but the cycle of those things pretty much has shaped the place we are all in, the people we have all become and how we move forward in the future. 

My wife’s grandfather passed away late last year

I watched my Mother and Law die right before my very eyes this year. She was 63 and passed in March

I was diagnosed with Bipolar and ADHD in April

I layed next to my wife as we cried after the confronting discover that she miscarried with our first pregnancy in May

My wife’s grandmother had a stroke in August 

I bounced of my medication for some time and took a nose dive into depression again in August. 

We buried her Mums ashes in September and her grandmother died 2 days later. I can’t begin to contemplate the sadness her Dad must feel. 

My Grandmother has now taken a turn for the worse. 

My close friend and the bassist of two of my music projects and his partner lost an Uncle, Father and now she is in intensive care after having a stroke at the age of 24. She had that on Boxing Day. 

Amongst all of these horrible things nice things have happened but it truly is hard to fathom when they have amongst so much painful experiences. 


I’m trying to optimistic about things but Jesus if it isn’t hard.


----------



## p0ke

This comes with a bit of a delay and I don't really know if I'm sad or just confused. Anyway, I met my father in law for the first time roughly a month ago - I was carrying his coffin. He was never really a father figure to my wife, and despite her giving him a chance to be several times, he just wouldn't meet her halfway or even quarter way. The result is that our kids never met their grandfather. My mother in law resented him so much, she refused to attend the funeral (I don't think she was invited anyway) and was wondering why we were even going.
Weird stuff...


----------



## BIG ND SWEATY

I just found out that one of my best friends younger twin brothers killed himself on Friday. I don't know which one it was but they were both such cool guys, this is pretty devastating.


----------



## blacai

I had to take my dog "Lola" last 14th December to the veterinary for euthanasia. We had been together for 17 years.
I adopt her when she was a 1 month puppy from the local shelter. 
She survived a cancer two years ago but last three months she started to suffer and lost mobility.
Hardest decision ever. Today I took the ashes to the park where we were always for a walk.
At least we can say we did all we could and offered her a good life and she gave us all the love she had.
Some friends of mine dont understand how hard was taking this decision and how much we miss her.


----------



## High Plains Drifter

blacai said:


> I had to take my dog "Lola" last 14th December to the veterinary for euthanasia. We had been together for 17 years.
> I adopt her when she was a 1 month puppy from the local shelter.
> She survived a cancer two years ago but last three months she started to suffer and lost mobility.
> Hardest decision ever. Today I took the ashes to the park where we were always for a walk.
> At least we can say we did all we could and offered her a good life and she gave us all the love she had.
> Some friends of mine dont understand how hard was taking this decision and how much we miss her.



Not to be down on anyone as I realize that some friends are like family... much respect. But I truly feel sorry for anyone that doesn't understand the pain of losing a beloved companion. I know it makes nothing any easier right now, but you have true character and humanity for giving Lola such a long and wonderful life and for this being so difficult. May solace come to you soon... Sending heartfelt condolences.


----------



## blacai

High Plains Drifter said:


> Not to be down on anyone as I realize that some friends are like family... much respect. But I truly feel sorry for anyone that doesn't understand the pain of losing a beloved companion. I know it makes nothing any easier right now, but you have true character and humanity for giving Lola such a long and wonderful life and for this being so difficult. May solace come to you soon... Sending heartfelt condolences.


Thanks for the kind words. In Spain the culture regarding animals/companions is still not so good as it should be and in my region even worse. People just use them as Tools for haunting mostly.


----------



## High Plains Drifter

Truly sad. We see neglect, abuse, and indifference over here in the sates all too often. I have a friend that's like that... not abusive nor neglectful since he has no animals but a great deal of indifference. He's a decent person in most other regards but his lack of compassion really stung when I was grieving the loss of my Corgi some years ago. As close as we are, I feel sorry for him too as he'll likely never know what a joy it is to establish a bond with a companion animal. As much as it hurts, you are sincerely fortunate to have had that bond and just as significantly, your Lola was genuinely fortunate to have had such a caring companion as she had in you.


----------



## blacai

Thanks again. I feel your loss and I am sure you also took care of him the best you could. 
https://theoatmeal.com/comics/dog_paradox
This comic summarizes pretty close the feeling.


----------



## pondman

I got caught using the bathroom as a spray booth


----------



## Demiurge

^Aw, but spicy food will do that to everybody once in a wh--- oh, you mean painting a guitar?


----------



## pondman

^ Spraying bike parts and the cat had purple specks on her head. That's how I was rumbled


----------



## TedEH

I'm not very good at writing lyrics.


----------



## ImNotAhab

Im sure they are fine man. Lyrics are weird imo, they don't have to be profound or insightful if the delivery is great and fleshes out the song, right?


----------



## Vyn

TedEH said:


> I'm not very good at writing lyrics.



Just make every other word 'Misery'. Works for some dude in a band everyone loves here.


----------



## Seabeast2000

Vyn said:


> Just make every other word 'Misery'. Works for some dude in a band everyone loves here.


----------



## TedEH

Lol I've got something like 7 songs to put lyrics to within the next week and a half.... I can handle the delivery but the writing part just isn't intuitive to me. It's always the part of a project where I start to get into that "my god, what I'm I doing, I'm terrible at this" funk where suddenly every mix sounds bad, the vocals are grating, progress and motivation slow down and I have to give myself a time limit to get stuff done. Even right now, I sat down to write and I ended up here instead.


----------



## Ordacleaphobia

TedEH said:


> Even right now, I sat down to write and I ended up here instead.



Story of my life.


----------



## TedEH

Fun story: I've been on SSO less often lately, and it's mostly because I've been off work. 

What I mean to say is that I'm very productive at work.


----------



## Seybsnilksz

I got a new PSU for my computer and it was faulty.


----------



## TedEH

I took pretty much all of January off (I go back to work next Monday) in the hopes that I could write and record some new music. And I'm stuck in a spot where I can't write lyrics, the mix sounds bad, there's zero coherency between any of the songs, and it feels like I've wasted my vacation making a bunch of garbage.

Fuck.


----------



## TedEH

I went and got some coffee. Re-tracked some things I didn't like. I feel better now.


----------



## Ordacleaphobia

TedEH said:


> I went and got some coffee. Re-tracked some things I didn't like. I feel better now.



It's the little things.


----------



## TedEH

It is. But also, I bit off arguably more than I thought at first, and getting close to the end of an arbitrary time limit is starting to cause some stress. 7 songs might have been a bit much. Trying to do everything from scratch in a month: Write stuff, track all the instrument, lyrics, vocals, mix it, etc. The idea is that it's sort of "game jam" style where you just do what you can in the limit time and put out what you come up with. It's not the end of the world if the result isn't amazing. Or if I cut some songs. But I don't want to put a whole load of garbage out under my name, or anything that's going to embarrass myself.


----------



## KnightBrolaire

kind of sad that only one person got my shou sugi ban joke in omzig's thread.


----------



## JoeyJoJoJrShabadoo

Finally met a girl I care about immensely, it was going amazingly, then after a little more than a month she decided that after a really rough break up and a rough year, she wasn't ready for a relationship right now, but doesn't want to lose me so when she's got her head together we can maybe give it a shot. It's been 3 weeks now, and it's hard. I told myself I'd be there for her when she needs me, and anything worth having doesn't come easy, but this might be too hard. Some days she can't get enough of me. Some days she doesn't want to talk to me at all. She'll be polite, but it'll be very clear she wants me to not be around at that time, so I give her space. All the while, my feelings grow stronger. I've never met anyone so compatible, and right when we were on the cusp of becoming something real, it was almost entirely gone. Sometimes I wonder if she's just keeping me around for her own needs and in her mind there's actually no chance of us ever being together. I was never under the illusion it was a guarantee, but it's a chance I was willing to take. I don't know how much longer I can keep it up, though. I've been hounding my friends about this, as it's a really confusing time for me, and I'm sure they're sick of it. So you internet strangers get to read about my plight now.


----------



## JoeyJoJoJrShabadoo

Welp, never mind. That's done.


----------



## vilk

When I graduated college, my first job was in Japan. I lived there about 2 years (during which time I joined this forum!!), and I felt I had spent enough time there and I was ready to "move on" and "get my """""real"""" life started" back in America. Living in Japan was, from the beginning, only ever intended to be a temporary thing. Something to put on my resume and boost my Japanese language skills.

5 years later... America fucking sucks, guys. It's a shitty, broken society comprised 100% of people who are ultimately trying to fuck each other over. We've got broken fucked up streets and shitty crumbled sidewalks. Everyone under 30 is poor as fuck and the only jobs they can get are working for tips. Anyone making a salary makes it their life's purpose to do absolutely as little work as possible while on the clock.

We sell cars with 100k miles for $10k despite that they will need multiple thousand dollar fixes within the next 5,000 miles. 
You gotta worry about people stealing from you, at all times. Not only muggers who will try to jack you or maybe kill you dead with a gun, but you shouldn't even walk away from your bag to use a restroom. Left you phone on the train? Say goodbye. And cancel all your shit immediately because someone will try to fraud you. Endless scam calls to your personal phone number.
People let their kids act like horrible little shits and give you a death stare for even hinting that you're annoyed. 
Teachers failing nationwide to successfully instill education in their pupils. Our answer? Just lower the standards. Or shut it down. 
In any major metropolitan area, and even sometimes just normal medium sized cities/towns, we take it as a given that there are certain sections that you simply shouldn't visit--because it's too dangerous. You gotta ought to think about if you're walking on a good block or a bad block when you see a group of people standing on the [broken, shitty] sidewalk.
Ultra-retarded shitty healthcare system everyone knows.
If you rent an apartment for less than 70% of your paycheck you can rest assured that it is totally old as fuck and falling apart, certainly not cleaned or repainted before you move in. Don't expect that air filter to have been changed within the past 2 decades. Plus you've got a greater than 50% chance of the shyster property manager trying to stick you with damages that were there from the previous tenant. 
Neighbors everywhere are irreverent, loud assholes. _This is my house! I can do what I want!_ 
Construction workers build as slowly as they can. Taxi drivers take the most expensive route. We're a nation of people trying to cheat.

...there's plenty more, but I'm running out of steam. TL;DR, from having lived as an adult in Japan and then in the United States, I'm disappointed as fuck in this place. Sure, I can understand why someone would want to move here from a 3rd world shithole, but compared to a proper 1st world nation, America doesn't even come close. I've never been, but I am under the impression that many of our European users can back this up.

The only good things about the United States is the prevalence of weed and metal scenes. 

Obviously this wouldn't apply to someone who is unable to speak Japanese or unable to reconcile their western upbringing with living in Japan, but for myself, aside from my immediate family and a couple friends, I can think of exactly zero reasons to stay here. Which makes me feel sad. I thought I was gonna build my life... but really, that would be pretty foolish when I have the means to live someplace much better.


----------



## TedEH

vilk said:


> America fucking sucks, guys.


Legit suggestion: Try Canada. We inherit a lot of things from the US - and while I've never been to America - I'm pretty certain we're more different than you would think at first. I live (more or less) and work in the fourth largest city in the country, and while we're not without problems, it's not even close to as bad as I hear people describe the 'States.

Our streets aren't great, but they're worse in Quebec than in Ontario. Ottawa is basically always under construction, so it's less that the streets are bad, just that they're almost always backed up. Theft is still a concern, but not as bad as you've described it. If you drop your wallet or an ID here, people will try to return it most of the time. Sometimes with money still in it. I go to coffee shops with a laptop pretty often, and I can leave the laptop on the table to go get food and come back without anything being stolen. (I shouldn't do that, but I can.) Violence isn't non-existent, but I don't fear walking down the streets at night (sure I'm not a visible minority or a woman, but it's still something). People like to poke fun at Quebec, but I live super cheaply compared to most people in comparable situations in Ontario. Are people still cheap, lazy, loud assholes that just want to do whatever they want with no concern for their neighbors? Sometimes! But I've had more friendly and considerate neighbors than asshole neighbors. Again - weirdly, I've always had the best neighbors in Quebec, despite the language barrier at times.

The US is a big place, maybe you just need to find a different piece of it?


----------



## possumkiller

vilk said:


> When I graduated college, my first job was in Japan. I lived there about 2 years (during which time I joined this forum!!), and I felt I had spent enough time there and I was ready to "move on" and "get my """""real"""" life started" back in America. Living in Japan was, from the beginning, only ever intended to be a temporary thing. Something to put on my resume and boost my Japanese language skills.
> 
> 5 years later... America fucking sucks, guys. It's a shitty, broken society comprised 100% of people who are ultimately trying to fuck each other over. We've got broken fucked up streets and shitty crumbled sidewalks. Everyone under 30 is poor as fuck and the only jobs they can get are working for tips. Anyone making a salary makes it their life's purpose to do absolutely as little work as possible while on the clock.
> 
> We sell cars with 100k miles for $10k despite that they will need multiple thousand dollar fixes within the next 5,000 miles.
> You gotta worry about people stealing from you, at all times. Not only muggers who will try to jack you or maybe kill you dead with a gun, but you shouldn't even walk away from your bag to use a restroom. Left you phone on the train? Say goodbye. And cancel all your shit immediately because someone will try to fraud you. Endless scam calls to your personal phone number.
> People let their kids act like horrible little shits and give you a death stare for even hinting that you're annoyed.
> Teachers failing nationwide to successfully instill education in their pupils. Our answer? Just lower the standards. Or shut it down.
> In any major metropolitan area, and even sometimes just normal medium sized cities/towns, we take it as a given that there are certain sections that you simply shouldn't visit--because it's too dangerous. You gotta ought to think about if you're walking on a good block or a bad block when you see a group of people standing on the [broken, shitty] sidewalk.
> Ultra-retarded shitty healthcare system everyone knows.
> If you rent an apartment for less than 70% of your paycheck you can rest assured that it is totally old as fuck and falling apart, certainly not cleaned or repainted before you move in. Don't expect that air filter to have been changed within the past 2 decades. Plus you've got a greater than 50% chance of the shyster property manager trying to stick you with damages that were there from the previous tenant.
> Neighbors everywhere are irreverent, loud assholes. _This is my house! I can do what I want!_
> Construction workers build as slowly as they can. Taxi drivers take the most expensive route. We're a nation of people trying to cheat.
> 
> ...there's plenty more, but I'm running out of steam. TL;DR, from having lived as an adult in Japan and then in the United States, I'm disappointed as fuck in this place. Sure, I can understand why someone would want to move here from a 3rd world shithole, but compared to a proper 1st world nation, America doesn't even come close. I've never been, but I am under the impression that many of our European users can back this up.
> 
> The only good things about the United States is the prevalence of weed and metal scenes.
> 
> Obviously this wouldn't apply to someone who is unable to speak Japanese or unable to reconcile their western upbringing with living in Japan, but for myself, aside from my immediate family and a couple friends, I can think of exactly zero reasons to stay here. Which makes me feel sad. I thought I was gonna build my life... but really, that would be pretty foolish when I have the means to live someplace much better.


I thought America sucked when I came back from Iraq the first time in 2004. It was like being unplugged from the Matrix. It wasn't a pretty life but it was real and genuine. Yes people were trying to kill me but at least they were doing it to my face and not by selling me shit that is going to kill me slowly. After I left the army I went to England and stayed for a year and married a Polish girl. Stayed for a couple of months in Poland. Loved Europe it was amazing. I didn't want to go back to America because I knew it sucked asshole but my wife was convinced we would be better off. So I had to come back alone and apply for her visa and wait a year. Fast forward eight years of being poor as fuck living on HUD and food stamps while wasting my GI Bill on the community college so I could afford to pay child support so I could keep my drivers license so I could go to school and get paid and then my wife joining the army thinking it would get us out of my little shithole redneck home town and actually being poorer than when we were living on HUD and food stamps and then her deployment and me driving a truck being gone for six months at a time and STILL not making enough money to make ends meet while we shipped our son to Poland to stay with his grandparents while she was deployed and I was driving trying to save some money. My wife left the army and got a job with Amazon in her hometown in Poland and I said fuck this shit we are moving to Poland. She works at Amazon earning slightly more than she earned in the army but here it is worth almost 4x as much and I go to school using the GI Bill online getting paid in dollars so we make it here. No car. No worries about health insurance. The food is fucking great. You can actually buy real meat that isn't some kind of ground up paste molded into the shape of what real meat looks like. We can walk the streets without worry. Our kid can go to school without being murdered. I have my "green" card for another three years and then I renew it again. I speak just enough Polish to ask where the toilet is or to buy the shopping but I would not go back to America ever ever ever. They will have to kill me first.

TL;DR Go back to fucking Japan it is a wonderful place. You never should have left.


----------



## Metropolis

Maybe it's like that bigger the country, bigger the issues are. Sometimes I'm just glad for living in one of the safest countries in this world. I also assume that gaps between being poor, rich or something between are huge in the US, or living in better or worse areas of cities or what not.


----------



## PunkBillCarson

As an American who's never been to any other country, it hurts to admit that we're not the greatest country and the realization is creeping in that perhaps we never were. We could be with a better attitude and work ethic, but I don't think it's going to happen. I've got friends in Norway, Australia, and France who've told me what their country is like and sure, there's some bullshit, but you know what ISN'T bullshit? When your taxes actually go towards education and healthcare and things people need rather than the mouths of greedy corporations. I used to believe in a shadow government and the NWO, until I started looking around and researching other countries. The world isn't fucked up, we are. Our government is completely full of shit, we're so goddamn behind socially that it's not even close to being funny. We can't talk about a reasonable level of gun control without someone pissing their pants, and to top it off in my area, it's completely close minded to the idea of immigrants because "they're coming to take our jobs!" Right, the guy from Mexico who'll do all the jobs that you won't like scrubbing shit off a toilet or working at McDonald's is coming to take your factory job. The guy from India who's got a doctorate or some kind of degree which would put your high school education to absolute rubble is coming to take your job... The people who come from countries with stronger work ethics and better educations are coming to take your job, well that's not true, but you know what? Even if it were, MAKE IT SO YOUR FUCKING EMPLOYER DOESN'T WANT TO GIVE THEM YOUR JOB! QUIT ACTING LIKE A GODDAMN IDIOT, DO BETTER FOR YOURSELF AND MAKE IT COMPETITIVE. No one's coming to take your jobs, they're coming to get BETTER jobs but you know what? If they do the job better than you do with a better attitude, oh fucking well.

Maybe it's my own ignorance, maybe I don't know how it is in other countries, but looking at the benefits they get, how much better they get along, I'm not saying that I don't want immigrants here, I just wonder why the fuck they would ever want to come to a country that treats them like shit. Wherever they came from must be fucking terrible to pick the US over a place like Norway or somewhere similar who would be more accepting of them.


----------



## lurè

PunkBillCarson said:


> Wherever they came from must be fucking terrible to pick the US over a place like Norway or somewhere similar who would be more accepting of them.



Quality of life in northern Europe is pretty high from what I've heard (never visited those countries) but an immigrant, at least those who arrive in Italy, doesn't choose a country:
they escape from misery,war and persecutions and reach the first "rich" country.

They do not want to steal your job, instead they'll do even the most miserable job to have the freedom a person deserves.

Europe has a sad history of exploitation and wild colonisation of Africa, we enslaved people, exterminated others, hoarded every possible resource and now people get offended if an african immigrant wants to come in Europe to clean a toilet for 2$ per hour.


----------



## Demiurge

It's hard to tell if one is seeing society decline or if getting older just makes it easier to see the things that have always been there.

As far as cynicism & pessimism go, I think I've been somewhat precocious  . Sometimes it's like following a band when they were small and watching them get huge. I knew that the world sucked before it was popular!


----------



## TedEH

Maybe a more optimistic way to look at it would be to say that we're experiencing the growing pains of a society that finally has a lens through which to reflect on itself. I would think that things used to be much worse than they are now (more violence, more negative -isms, more ignorance, etc), but we didn't have things like the internet to thrust these imperfections in front of our eyes at such a constant rate.


----------



## PunkBillCarson

lurè said:


> Quality of life in northern Europe is pretty high from what I've heard (never visited those countries) but an immigrant, at least those who arrive in Italy, doesn't choose a country:
> they escape from misery,war and persecutions and reach the first "rich" country.
> 
> *They do not want to steal your job, instead they'll do even the most miserable job to have the freedom a person deserves.*
> 
> Europe has a sad history of exploitation and wild colonisation of Africa, we enslaved people, exterminated others, hoarded every possible resource and now people get offended if an african immigrant wants to come in Europe to clean a toilet for 2$ per hour.




Yes, I made this perfectly clear.


----------



## p0ke

lurè said:


> They do not want to steal your job, instead they'll do even the most miserable job to have the freedom a person deserves.



There are immigrants who do, and there are those who don't. There's a lot of immigrants over here who just hang around doing nothing, refusing to integrate into the community in any way and the government just keeps feeding them. 
At some point a bunch of immigrants from Syria were coming in, all of them men about my age or slightly younger - no women, children and old people... Some of them even started riots at the immigrant centers because the food they were served (basically the same stuff that our kids get at school) wasn't good enough. And apparently they'd gone through several countries already, looking for the best place to stay.

I'm not saying all immigrants are like that, but there's too many like that anyway, and they should be kicked out straight away.

And the funny thing is, if I wrote this same thing on a Finnish forum, a hundred people would tear me apart and call me a nazi


----------



## lurè

p0ke said:


> There are immigrants who do, and there are those who don't. There's a lot of immigrants over here who just hang around doing nothing, refusing to integrate into the community in any way and the government just keeps feeding them.
> At some point a bunch of immigrants from Syria were coming in, all of them men about my age or slightly younger - no women, children and old people... Some of them even started riots at the immigrant centers because the food they were served (basically the same stuff that our kids get at school) wasn't good enough. And apparently they'd gone through several countries already, looking for the best place to stay.
> 
> I'm not saying all immigrants are like that, but there's too many like that anyway, and they should be kicked out straight away.
> 
> And the funny thing is, if I wrote this same thing on a Finnish forum, a hundred people would tear me apart and call me a nazi



I could give you lots of examples of native people in my country that do the same thing (basically doing nothing).

Assholes are spread all over the world just like good people, but I think the majority of immigrants really wants to have a life like a normal person.

I would kick out from the country someone that just wants to do nothing, being an immigrant or a native.


----------



## p0ke

lurè said:


> I would kick out from the country someone that just wants to do nothing, being an immigrant or a native.



Agreed. But where would you kick the natives?

Anyway, I'm not actually sad about that, I guess disappointed would be a more appropriate word. What I am sad about at the moment, is that my wife's been sick for almost a week now. Flu and fever... And the doctor said all she can do is rest it off. I just hope it'll pass soon because my head's about to explode having to take care of everything


----------



## Ordacleaphobia

vilk said:


> When I graduated college, my first job was in Japan. I lived there about 2 years (during which time I joined this forum!!), and I felt I had spent enough time there and I was ready to "move on" and "get my """""real"""" life started" back in America. Living in Japan was, from the beginning, only ever intended to be a temporary thing. Something to put on my resume and boost my Japanese language skills.
> 
> 5 years later... America fucking sucks, guys. It's a shitty, broken society comprised 100% of people who are ultimately trying to fuck each other over. We've got broken fucked up streets and shitty crumbled sidewalks. Everyone under 30 is poor as fuck and the only jobs they can get are working for tips. Anyone making a salary makes it their life's purpose to do absolutely as little work as possible while on the clock.
> 
> We sell cars with 100k miles for $10k despite that they will need multiple thousand dollar fixes within the next 5,000 miles.
> You gotta worry about people stealing from you, at all times. Not only muggers who will try to jack you or maybe kill you dead with a gun, but you shouldn't even walk away from your bag to use a restroom. Left you phone on the train? Say goodbye. And cancel all your shit immediately because someone will try to fraud you. Endless scam calls to your personal phone number.
> People let their kids act like horrible little shits and give you a death stare for even hinting that you're annoyed.
> Teachers failing nationwide to successfully instill education in their pupils. Our answer? Just lower the standards. Or shut it down.
> In any major metropolitan area, and even sometimes just normal medium sized cities/towns, we take it as a given that there are certain sections that you simply shouldn't visit--because it's too dangerous. You gotta ought to think about if you're walking on a good block or a bad block when you see a group of people standing on the [broken, shitty] sidewalk.
> Ultra-retarded shitty healthcare system everyone knows.
> If you rent an apartment for less than 70% of your paycheck you can rest assured that it is totally old as fuck and falling apart, certainly not cleaned or repainted before you move in. Don't expect that air filter to have been changed within the past 2 decades. Plus you've got a greater than 50% chance of the shyster property manager trying to stick you with damages that were there from the previous tenant.
> Neighbors everywhere are irreverent, loud assholes. _This is my house! I can do what I want!_
> Construction workers build as slowly as they can. Taxi drivers take the most expensive route. We're a nation of people trying to cheat.
> 
> ...there's plenty more, but I'm running out of steam. TL;DR, from having lived as an adult in Japan and then in the United States, I'm disappointed as fuck in this place. Sure, I can understand why someone would want to move here from a 3rd world shithole, but compared to a proper 1st world nation, America doesn't even come close. I've never been, but I am under the impression that many of our European users can back this up.
> 
> The only good things about the United States is the prevalence of weed and metal scenes.
> 
> Obviously this wouldn't apply to someone who is unable to speak Japanese or unable to reconcile their western upbringing with living in Japan, but for myself, aside from my immediate family and a couple friends, I can think of exactly zero reasons to stay here. Which makes me feel sad. I thought I was gonna build my life... but really, that would be pretty foolish when I have the means to live someplace much better.



Yeah, it sucks dude but I can't really refute any of these observations. They're just about all true, in my experience.
If you don't mind me asking, where have you been stateside? Just in Chicago? Because I've heard Chicago is a major cesspit of this shit. I always tell myself whenever I get fed up with all of this garbage that it's just because I'm in California and this entire state is a joke, but on some level I think I know that's probably false. I like to think some of the different, less-traveled areas of the country are better. I've never left the country, but I'd love to check out Japan (if for no other reason than to check out all the guitars...lol). 

As a kid I always thought I'd stay here and that the things that bothered me as a child wouldn't as an adult, but that was wrong. It's all the same. I tell myself that it's just people being allowed to be people, and when there aren't any restrictions on behavior people will act like fucking animals regardless of where they are; because if I end up believing that people act respectable elsewhere...I may have to learn a new language and pool together enough money to get the hell out of here and that's a daunting task


----------



## p0ke

p0ke said:


> my wife's been sick for almost a week



Argh, and now I got the flu myself. No fever yet but my throat's sore and the stuff my head is stuffed with is lime green and really thick. I woke up with my nose all blocked, but luckily the stuff came out by itself when I got up.


----------



## SenorDingDong

Less than 24 hours left of my yearly visit to my family. It's difficult with work being wo encompassing. Making the most only goes so far.


----------



## sezna

+1 to the guy who said living abroad made him hate american life. i lived in taiwan and i want to go back every day. 

also i gained ten pounds the past two weeks. 

i am sad


----------



## Konfyouzd

I like to learn things.

So I spend a lot of time on YouTube looking for free lessons from time to time. I read the comments there hoping for someone to have an interesting take on things or perhaps additional helpful tips. It's been know to happen in home improvement videos all the time.

With musicians, though, we spend all day trying to tear each other down and it's really kind of sad to see. Music should be fun and ppl should have fun with it, but it seems ppl always want it to be a pissing match.

Someone got mad at one of my comments and looked up a video from like 6 years ago... The most he could say was "Learn to hold your pick better..."

What does that even mean? Are we that desperate to be pricks to each other?

/rant


----------



## SD83

As of now, my old car is officially no longer road legal. You need to get a safety certification (if that is the right term) every other year here, and apparently there's too much rusty bits, the exhaust is slightly broken, and first gear doesn't work (it totally does, you just have to know how...), some issues with the lights... technically I can drive around for another month with the list of problems they gave me and when in doubt tell the police I couldn't get a spot at a local workshop to have it repaired and the fine if they'd stop me after that would be pretty negligible for another two months, but the repair would most likely cost more than the car itself did, probably a lot more, and that just isn't going to happen. And I seriously liked that car. First car I ever owned, got it more or less by accident (my business partner and I needed a car for the company, found one, and there was this tiny, old Daihatsu Coure which cost hardly anything and we just got two cars) but I've grown to like it a lot. It's slow, it's loud, but it never let me down, fuel mileage is spectacular, it can carry four people if need be (and luggage) and it's so tiny... I can reach out of the passenger window without leaning to the side  Turning radius is hardly larger than that of a bicycle, you can park pretty much everywhere and visibility... it's pretty much all windows. I really, really don't want to lose this stupid little thing


----------



## Konfyouzd

Can you keep it and use it as a track car? You can drive it at whatever speed you want legally and in some places they may even let you bring passengers. 

But in all seriousness I know how much it sucks when you're approaching HAVING to get rid of a car because you either spend the cost of a new car restoring your current one and possibly fail or just get a new one...


----------



## SD83

Konfyouzd said:


> Can you keep it and use it as a track car? You can drive it at whatever speed you want legally and in some places they may even let you bring passengers.


It would have to be more of a kart track though as that one officially only goes to 86 mph. And that was when it was new  To be fair I consider finding a place to keep it and start disassembling it. Sure, in theory I know how cars work, but that would be a great chance to take one apart bit by bit and try to understand it without losing anything but time. And who knows, friends of mine are mechanics or know how to weld stuff, maybe in the end we can put something together that kinda works


----------



## Konfyouzd

SD83 said:


> It would have to be more of a kart track though as that one officially only goes to 86 mph. And that was when it was new  To be fair I consider finding a place to keep it and start disassembling it. Sure, in theory I know how cars work, but that would be a great chance to take one apart bit by bit and try to understand it without losing anything but time. And who knows, friends of mine are mechanics or know how to weld stuff, maybe in the end we can put something together that kinda works


Lemons -> Lemonade


----------



## p0ke

My grandpa was diagnosed with prostate cancer some time ago, and a couple of weeks ago he was hospitalized because it had spread to his neck and lungs which is super painful. He hasn't gotten treatment for it, because he's too weak physically to withstand it.
We went to see him last weekend and as I was giving him a hug before leaving, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said "this won't be the last time we see each other". I had a bad feeling about those words, even though he seemed well enough to live at least a few more years. Then yesterday morning my mom texted me that she'd gotten a call from the hospital saying his condition had basically collapsed and she's rushing to get there, but may not make it. She got there, and he's still breathing, but unconscious. Apparently no-one knows whether he'll wake up or not 

The worst part is that I don't know at all what's going on inside my head and as a result I'm just being a total cunt at home... My wife keeps trying to ask how I'm feeling and all I can say is IDK, fuck off. Probably seeming very indifferent to the whole thing.
Also I don't even want to imagine how my mom's feeling. My grandma died in the summer of 2016 (in the same place too), my mom was there holding her hand as she took her last breath, and now she's there again. Luckily my uncle's there with her this time.


----------



## p0ke

p0ke said:


> My grandpa was hospitalized



And now he's dead  Just got the phone call...


----------



## watson503

p0ke said:


> And now he's dead  Just got the phone call...


My condolences to you and your family, man.


----------



## High Plains Drifter

Sorry, poke... very sorry. Condolences, man.


----------



## p0ke

Thanks guys. I spoke to my mom yesterday evening, and she sounded relieved in a way - she'd been driving 200km to his place and back every weekend since my grandma died to cook for him and take care of his other general things. Since his condition deteriorated quite rapidly, it started becoming more and more stressful. He lost his will to live when grandma died, and I'm not surprised, they were married and mostly always together for almost 60 years after all. I tend to be a bit skeptical about life after death, but I really like to think that he gets to be with grandma from now to eternity.


----------



## sezna

@pondman hasn't posted a build in a while...


----------



## TedEH

I'm currently stuck in a weird mind-frame where I can't tell if my work/life balance is off, or if I'm right to be upset about when things go wrong for me at work, even when it's arguably "small problems". I spend a lot of time in the office (probably too much time), and as such I want to feel like my time here is valuable and is spent doing good work. I want to feel like there's some level of trust in my judgment and the way that I design and implement my work. Am I putting too much weight in what happens in the office because the majority of my waking time is spent here? Or is the life balance thing irrelevant, and I have every right to stand behind the work that I'm doing?

I really hate that feeling of both being really mad at something, but also doubting whether or not it's fair for me to be mad in the first place. It feels defeating either way.


----------



## MaxOfMetal

TedEH said:


> I'm currently stuck in a weird mind-frame where I can't tell if my work/life balance is off, or if I'm right to be upset about when things go wrong for me at work, even when it's arguably "small problems". I spend a lot of time in the office (probably too much time), and as such I want to feel like my time here is valuable and is spent doing good work. I want to feel like there's some level of trust in my judgment and the way that I design and implement my work. Am I putting too much weight in what happens in the office because the majority of my waking time is spent here? Or is the life balance thing irrelevant, and I have every right to stand behind the work that I'm doing?
> 
> I really hate that feeling of both being really mad at something, but also doubting whether or not it's fair for me to be mad in the first place. It feels defeating either way.



There's nothing wrong with having enough pride in your work that it bothers you when something goes wrong or management screws up, etc. 

But, it's important to step back and not let it completely grab a hold of you. 

I'm at work way too much, and I take a lot of pride in the work I do as well. Do I get frustrated by work? Of course. Do I sometimes take that frustration home with me? I'd be lying if I said I didn't, but I've worked hard to make it as minimal as possible. 

The way I see it, I'm hourly. If I'm off the clock, it's no longer my responsibility. I owe my work the best job I can give when I'm there being paid to do it.


----------



## lewis

Im quickly losing the passion for gigging - it just seems more hassle than its worth.
between members who are obsessed with only ever coming across as "professional" at all times - to members of the public/other bands who just want to act jealous and pathetic

nothing about it is fun now and its having an adverse effect on my writing too - its all just "meh"


----------



## TedEH

I'm not reaaaaaally hourly - I sort of stroll in when I feel like it in the morning, and leave when I feel like I did enough for the day - sometimes that's after my standard 8 hour day, but more often than not, I'm here for longer than that. It's flexible enough that the amount of time I spend here is definitely by choice. It's not uncommon for me to wake up, go to work, go home, have maybe 2-3 hours to myself, then go to bed and repeat. I just keep getting stuck in situations where whenever I try to take on a task of any importance, there's some kind of push-back, and it kills any confidence or enthusiasm I had in that work. I unfortunately can't go into any real details, and I don't have a good analogy for it.

And then when something does go wrong, I normally like to be that guy who doesn't take work home, but it's hard to invest so much effort into something, and not have the rest of your day be ruined when it blows up. I just can't switch that off when I leave the building all the time, as much as I try to. The amount of time I spent at work transform a "problem at work" into a "problem with the one thing you're doing with your life right now", which is where I question the balance thing.


----------



## MaxOfMetal

TedEH said:


> I'm not reaaaaaally hourly - I sort of stroll in when I feel like it in the morning, and leave when I feel like I did enough for the day - sometimes that's after my standard 8 hour day, but more often than not, I'm here for longer than that. It's flexible enough that the amount of time I spend here is definitely by choice. It's not uncommon for me to wake up, go to work, go home, have maybe 2-3 hours to myself, then go to bed and repeat. I just keep getting stuck in situations where whenever I try to take on a task of any importance, there's some kind of push-back, and it kills any confidence or enthusiasm I had in that work. I unfortunately can't go into any real details, and I don't have a good analogy for it.
> 
> And then when something does go wrong, I normally like to be that guy who doesn't take work home, but it's hard to invest so much effort into something, and not have the rest of your day be ruined when it blows up. I just can't switch that off when I leave the building all the time, as much as I try to. The amount of time I spent at work transform a "problem at work" into a "problem with the one thing you're doing with your life right now", which is where I question the balance thing.



It sounds like your problem is two fold: 1) you don't feel like you're being valued at work and 2) you take too much of work home with you. 

When I think "work life balance" I feel that as long as you're happy and the amount you're working isn't negatively affecting your life, health, and interpersonal relationships, you're fine. If at any time those start becoming difficult, plan to roll back your investment in work, at least temporarily. I know it can be difficult, but there are strategies out there depending on the occupation and your own idiosyncrasies. 

As for not being valued, the hardest part is determining whether you actually are, or if it's just how you feel. Neither is right or wrong, but it'll determine where you start working on the issue. 

Do you have any peers at work you'd feel comfortable talking candidly about this with?


----------



## TedEH

MaxOfMetal said:


> the hardest part is determining whether you actually are, or if it's just how you feel


Yup. That part drives me nuts.



MaxOfMetal said:


> Do you have any peers at work you'd feel comfortable talking candidly about this with?


I've been pretty blunt about it with my immediate lead. I was assured that, of course it's just how I feel, of course the value what I'm doing, etc. I may have to keep poking at that one. There are layers to the situation. I don't deny that one of those layers is my own head. But I'm confident it's not the only significant layer.

I appreciate the feedback on my ranting though.


----------



## MaxOfMetal

TedEH said:


> Yup. That part drives me nuts.
> 
> 
> I've been pretty blunt about it with my immediate lead. I was assured that, of course it's just how I feel, of course the value what I'm doing, etc. I may have to keep poking at that one. There are layers to the situation. I don't deny that one of those layers is my own head. But I'm confident it's not the only significant layer.
> 
> I appreciate the feedback on my ranting though.



I meant coworkers, not supervisors. Someone who is more removed from the situation, yet privy to some of the finer details and interactions. 

I often ask for feedback from workgroup members, especially after some of the more "lively" interactions between myself and supervisors. "Hey, was I crazy or....","Do you think that was too...", etc. 

I've been a steward and counselor at my current work for the past decade, and even before that. If you have any questions or anything, feel free to reach out.


----------



## Konfyouzd

My amp... She die...


----------



## Ordacleaphobia

TedEH said:


> I just keep getting stuck in situations where whenever I try to take on a task of any importance, there's some kind of push-back, and it kills any confidence or enthusiasm I had in that work. I unfortunately can't go into any real details, and I don't have a good analogy for it.
> 
> And then when something does go wrong, I normally like to be that guy who doesn't take work home, but it's hard to invest so much effort into something, and not have the rest of your day be ruined when it blows up. I just can't switch that off when I leave the building all the time, as much as I try to. The amount of time I spent at work transform a "problem at work" into a "problem with the one thing you're doing with your life right now", which is where I question the balance thing.



I feel it, man. I'm something of a perfectionist (...as indicated by my username), and when I make a mistake at work, or whenever things just go off the rails, I do let it follow me for a while. Same as you, I know I shouldn't; but I do. I'm a child of 2 business owners, and grew up watching a bunch of inept employees cost my parents money left and right. The mantra of my household was always "do it right or why bother doing it at all." So I always wanted to be the _good_ employee, I always wanted to be the guy that people could rely on. I wanted it to where if my name was on a project, people would expect good things. So I put a lot of time and effort into my work, and usually- it shows. Sometimes though shit happens.

Something that I did that helped a bit was taking these occasions and turning it into a challenge for myself. Don't get me wrong, I'd still get mad at myself, but it was...a 'productive rage,' if that makes any sense. It was motivation to never do that again, and avoid having to deal with that situation. So if a project I was working on went sideways for whatever reason, I would bend over backwards in the future to ensure that whatever caused that hiccup (even if it wasn't even my fault) doesn't happen again in the future.

Suffice to say though that sometimes dumb shit just happens and you need to turn it off for a while, pour yourself a drink, tune out, and play video games for a bit. Just do something else to sidetrack your mind away from fixating on it.



TedEH said:


> I've been pretty blunt about it with my immediate lead. I was assured that, of course it's just how I feel, of course the value what I'm doing, etc. I may have to keep poking at that one. There are layers to the situation. I don't deny that one of those layers is my own head. But I'm confident it's not the only significant layer.



Like Max said, talking to others is always a good idea. And I don't know what your relationship is like with your leads, but if it's mostly positive, I would put stock into what they say.
Most good management will be sincere in answering that question. At least in my experience, if I earnestly ask my supervisor how I'm doing, where there's room for improvement, etc- I get an honest response. It cuts sometimes, but it's better to know, you know? The hard part is just trusting them when they only say good things. You just have to remind yourself to believe them. You forget sometimes that it's in their best interest to tell you when you're not pulling your weight.



Konfyouzd said:


> My amp... She die...



nnnnnNNNNN*NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO*OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO


----------



## sezna

Konfyouzd said:


> My amp... She die...


Didn't you just get a new one? I remember recommending an amp to you. Is this the new one you got?


----------



## Konfyouzd

sezna said:


> Didn't you just get a new one? I remember recommending an amp to you. Is this the new one you got?


Yea that Randall is not doing so well anymore... They're letting me return it so the hunt begins anew.


----------



## BlackMastodon

My parents' oldest cat had to be put down today. Realistically she should've been put down weeks ago before her condition got as bad as it did, and I made the decision last night to call up a vet and set things up. While I was at work today my dad texted me and said her condition was much worse and she was losing bowel control and convulsing, and when he brought her to the vet they said it was her time. I'm really bummed but am really sad that we let her get to the point where she was in more pain. I was hoping the insulin shots would leave her stable for a while longer but we reached the end of the road. RIP Holly, you had a great 16+ years.


----------



## High Plains Drifter

@ BlackMastodon- I know I'm not saying anything groundbreaking but we really do try to do the best we can. Regardless of Holly's last days, she was provided a life of caring and compassion. That's the most important thing and she's in peace now. May solace be with you. 

So... Sad and anxious time for me as tomorrow I'll be putting in my 2-wks notice. This is just several days past my 10 year anniversary in the suffocating abyss that is retail. It was a living hell at times... mentally, emotionally, and physically. The things that I witnessed and experienced there in ten years is beyond what I would've ever imagined it could've been before I started. But the company and more directly, this particular store... slowly ate me alive. It fed off of my soul and my strength and over the last several years, left me in physical pain, emotional stress, and mental turmoil. Oh the stories I could share! But as was once written, "the times... they are a changing" and I just couldn't bend any further. It will probably take me the rest of my life to recover from this horrid nightmare and that's no joke. My wife was the one who really put her foot down and insisted that I leave. She knows that the decision was ultimately mine and that it didn't come easy given that I refused to give up two years ago when the store/ management and myself, really began to degrade. 

But with all of that... it's a bit scary right now and sad in some ways. I've weighed the pros & cons so many times now that even as a very analytical person, I've finally let go. I have no idea what will happen from here on out but it's quite frightening to now have to rely on her income. I've been smart enough to save and invest throughout my life ( been working since I was 14) so I have a half-decent portfolio/ savings already established but still... I'm understandably a bit uncomfortable about this very drastic change. 

The sadness comes into play when I think about those special people that I will be leaving behind. I sincerely do think of them as my family and they're quite sad to see me go ( glad for me but sad to be losing another one of the crew). In reality... the ones that were there 10 years ago, are now retired, have quit, or have died so those that remain are only a handful... but boy oh boy are we close! We're all going to miss each other quite a bit as hugs and tears have already begun. But I have to do this for myself, for my health & sanity, and most importantly... for my wife. I owe it to her to respect her wishes and be the man that she and I both deserve and need me to be. 

So yeah... sad yet optimistic... and nervous lol now that the clock is counting down. Wish me luck!


----------



## Vixon

I feel myself bad because weather is very cold and rainy today.


----------



## TedEH

Don't be sad about rain- you can either:
- Go outside in the rain and enjoy it cause why not. (It's raining here too today, but I decided I was biking in to work. Rain ain't gonna stop me.)
or
- Use it as your excuse to do the kinds of things that you've put off for a rainy day. Today's that literal rainy day you were waiting for.


----------



## Ordacleaphobia

TedEH said:


> I decided I was biking in to work. Rain ain't gonna stop me.



Taking a walk in the rain is actually absurdly comfy. Come to think of it, I think I probably get out more when it's rainy than when it's bright out.

Right up there with night hikes. Seriously, if you guys haven't taken a 4 hour hike _starting_ at 11pm, you're really missing out.


----------



## KnightBrolaire

Whiskey Cavalier got canceled. I'm kind of bummed because it's actually pretty fun to watch. It had a good mix of solid action and violence with humor/drama.


----------



## KnightBrolaire

I jist remembered that Mnemic and The Human Abstract are still on hiatus


----------



## Ordacleaphobia

KnightBrolaire said:


> I jist remembered that Mnemic and The Human Abstract are still on hiatus



I liked this post, but I don't like this.
Especially since THA isn't "on hiatus" so much as they're """""on hiatus""""

Could be worse though, I guess. Could be a Necrophagist guy.


----------



## KnightBrolaire

Ordacleaphobia said:


> I liked this post, but I don't like this.
> Especially since THA isn't "on hiatus" so much as they're """""on hiatus""""
> 
> Could be worse though, I guess. Could be a Necrophagist guy.


yeah THA is dead, just like necro.
I guess I'll just keep spinning Allegaeon and Augury to sate my lust for classical inspired tech death


----------



## BlackSG91

I'm sort of sad right now because I'm trying hard to break into the shoebiz. I've been feeling like a heel as of late. I better stop loafing around and make an appointment soon with Dr. Martin.


;>)/


----------



## p0ke

We were supposed to fly to Gdansk today and had everything planned and packed and all that, but then at the airport we didn't pay enough attention to the boarding times and missed our flight  And the next flight would've been tommorow and cost a fortune.


----------



## High Plains Drifter

BlackSG91 said:


> I'm sort of sad right now because I'm trying hard to break into the shoebiz. I've been feeling like a heel as of late. I better stop loafing around and make an appointment soon with Dr. Martin.
> 
> 
> ;>)/



That's the only way you're gonna get your foot in the door.


----------



## TedEH

Had a long weekend because of Canada Day. I tried to host a party at my place and while it didn't go "badly" per se, it didn't really feel like it went well either. Everyone was just completely plastered way too early, so I feel like I sort of checked out of my own party really early and missed all of the social bits that are kind of the point of a party. Then everyone was gone pretty early this morning leaving me in that weird post-party half-asleep slightly-hung-over way-too-quiet pensive and a bit lonely kind of mode. A sort of just general sadness and sense of not knowing what to do with myself for the day. So that's a thing.


----------



## High Plains Drifter

First world problem but sad also... wife and I getting ready to go have our credit drug thru the mud in order to discover how unappealing we look on paper as first home buyers. Yea!


----------



## Seabeast2000

High Plains Drifter said:


> First world problem but sad also... wife and I getting ready to go have our credit drug thru the mud in order to discover how unappealing we look on paper as first home buyers. Yea!


It can be a cleansing process.


----------



## Thaeon

Wrecked my VW last night. I love that car. Can't really afford the wreck either. Pretty disheartening...


----------



## Demiurge

High Plains Drifter said:


> First world problem but sad also... wife and I getting ready to go have our credit drug thru the mud in order to discover how unappealing we look on paper as first home buyers. Yea!



Congratulations- you'll be non-sarcastically excited soon enough. As long as you remember that the bank pre-approve you for way more than you can afford, you'll do fine. 

I just finalized my pre-approval today. Not my first, but it might as well be: last time was before the real-estate bubble and I got a letter after a 15-minute call. This time, the pre-process was lengthier than the last's application process.


----------



## High Plains Drifter

Demiurge said:


> Congratulations- you'll be non-sarcastically excited soon enough. As long as you remember that the bank pre-approve you for way more than you can afford, you'll do fine.
> 
> I just finalized my pre-approval today. Not my first, but it might as well be: last time was before the real-estate bubble and I got a letter after a 15-minute call. This time, the pre-process was lengthier than the last's application process.



Thanks, man. I'm really happy with the mortgage co that we're going thru. We tried to do this a year ago with a different lender and things didn't go well. This time around we're declaring more income and looking at homes that are considerably less expensive. But I dunno... I told my wife not to get too excited cause we're still poor no matter how you slice it lol. We'll know tomorrow where we stand but boy oh boy... lotta hoops for us to start jumping thru if we do wind up getting appvd. 

Btw- Congratulations! Home buying is not for the faint at heart lol.


----------



## Demiurge

^Thanks. Definitely not for the faint of heart. After we finished preparing our own place to sell- which was an enormous undertaking- the realization was that the easy part was over.

The prospect of closing both sides of the sale on the same day (how our lender wants it) is going to be quite the undertaking. Luckily, we only have a condo's worth of shit to move to a house.


----------



## High Plains Drifter

Demiurge said:


> ^Thanks. Definitely not for the faint of heart. After we finished preparing our own place to sell- which was an enormous undertaking- the realization was that the easy part was over.
> 
> The prospect of closing both sides of the sale on the same day (how our lender wants it) is going to be quite the undertaking. Luckily, we only have a condo's worth of shit to move to a house.



I guess I can understand that. Although exhausting in regards to effort, preparing your home to sell is something that you're maybe able to do more at your own pace and in your own way ( to some degree). Yeah... simultaneously closing on two properties seems quite daunting to say the least. At least in our case, we are renting so we don't have any of that to deal with. I truly hope that everything goes well... Best of luck!


----------



## Ralyks

2 years since Chester Bennington left this world. Still hits me to this day.


----------



## Adieu

For real?

Can't tell if sarcasm or fanboi


----------



## PunkBillCarson

Adieu said:


> For real?
> 
> Can't tell if sarcasm or fanboi




And if he is a fan? So what? Not everyone feels the need to shit on LP.


----------



## DiezelMonster

My girlfriend leaves for Korea on August 9th to teach English for a year, while I'm incredibly proud of her for the things she has accomplished I can't help but feel hollow and an overwhelming sense of dread. We have been together for 8 years and I'm not worried about our relationship per se, just that at almost 40 years old I didn't think I'd have a long distance relationship to contend with. 
I know people do this stuff all the time and it works and people make it work, I get all that. I still feel all this horrible shit though.

On top of that my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer 2 weeks ago and is having her double mastectomy July 31st. 

Its just a lot to have to deal with right now.


----------



## MaxOfMetal

DiezelMonster said:


> My girlfriend leaves for Korea on August 9th to teach English for a year, while I'm incredibly proud of her for the things she has accomplished I can't help but feel hollow and an overwhelming sense of dread. We have been together for 8 years and I'm not worried about our relationship per se, just that at almost 40 years old I didn't think I'd have a long distance relationship to contend with.
> I know people do this stuff all the time and it works and people make it work, I get all that. I still feel all this horrible shit though.
> 
> On top of that my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer 2 weeks ago and is having her double mastectomy July 31st.
> 
> Its just a lot to have to deal with right now.



I completely understand, dude. 

My wife recently had something of a cancer scare, and I'm still not right from it. Fucking terrifying. Sending positive vibes your way. 

As for the long distance thing, my wife had a family emergency that required her to fly out to Texas (from Wisconsin) for a few months. This was when we had just gotten married a few months prior. It's not a different country, but I get the apprehension. Again, sending good vibes.


----------



## DiezelMonster

Thanks man,

I'm assuming your wife is doing well now?


----------



## MaxOfMetal

DiezelMonster said:


> Thanks man,
> 
> I'm assuming your wife is doing well now?



Yes, thank you for asking. 

It was probably the scariest month of my life. Aged me a good few years. 

Cancer is a sneaky bastard, and fairly difficult to actually diagnose apparently. At least some forms. 

I wish your family the best outcome. Really.


----------



## Metropolis

I don't know why but... just realized that last months of this decade are going on. Last five years went really fast and I achieved many things I wanted, but the first five not so. I kind of wasted them doing some stupid things, or at least not the right things.


----------



## TedEH

Maybe it becomes less sad when you take the perspective that an end-of-decade is entirely arbitrary. There's nothing at all that actually ties that set of 10 years into a meaningful unit outside of having 10 fingers and the odd chance that this is how the calendar lined up. Nothing has ended. No deadline has passed. Anything you wanted to do, you can still do. It's just a number.


----------



## Metropolis

TedEH said:


> Maybe it becomes less sad when you take the perspective that an end-of-decade is entirely arbitrary. There's nothing at all that actually ties that set of 10 years into a meaningful unit outside of having 10 fingers and the odd chance that this is how the calendar lined up. Nothing has ended. No deadline has passed. Anything you wanted to do, you can still do. It's just a number.



There kind of is, because 10 years ago I was in the beginning of being legally adult person at 18 years old, and just learning things... those were really painful times of growth for me. But yes, nothing has ended


----------



## Xaios

My company experienced a terrible tragedy today. Unfortunately one of my coworkers was killed. It's been a rough day.


----------



## MrBouleDeBowling

My ex just told me that I'm going to die alone.


----------



## p0ke

I pretty much feel like I've been run over by an asphalt smoothing roller thing. Kids+work are wearing me out - after each weekend I'm just more tired instead of rested. I guess it's because I take my daughter to daycare before work and pick her up after, and my wife works mostly evenings so she comes home just after I've put the kids to bed. I don't even remember the last time I had some me-time, which is bad since I'm really introverted and need to recharge. I'd also feel very selfish if I asked my wife to GTFO with the kids, so I guess I'll just have to adjust.


----------



## High Plains Drifter

p0ke said:


> I pretty much feel like I've been run over by an asphalt smoothing roller thing. Kids+work are wearing me out - after each weekend I'm just more tired instead of rested. I guess it's because I take my daughter to daycare before work and pick her up after, and my wife works mostly evenings so she comes home just after I've put the kids to bed. I don't even remember the last time I had some me-time, which is bad since I'm really introverted and need to recharge. I'd also feel very selfish if I asked my wife to GTFO with the kids, so I guess I'll just have to adjust.



Dude I really feel for you. As much as I dearly love and appreciate my wife, I'd go full on nuts without my alone/ recharge time. I guess the reason that I'm saying anything at all about this is because a few years ago I had to sit down with her and voice my concerns about this very same thing. Confronting her was difficult but necessary b/c if she'd had her way, we would've been joined at the hip forever and always... or until my murder trial. 

My point is that you deserve to be able to have some time for yourself. I would guess that it's not as if this topic hasn't come up before in your household but seriously... I hope that you can convince her that you need some time in the day/ week/ month for yourself. I completely understand that it's not as simple as that but for your physical and emotional health, it's something that should be taken seriously. Apologies for speaking out of turn as I know this is a personal thing but you're a good dude and I just wanted to convey my support.


----------



## TedEH

Starting this week on a bad foot. Asked someone out and can't get a strait response from them. I get to work and things I've submitted are being questioned as "sketchy" and "unnecessary" and being asked why I even bothered doing the things I've been working on for weeks. I want to be productive but some of what we need to just just has no direction right now..... Feels like I'm in full dumpster fire mode.


----------



## p0ke

High Plains Drifter said:


> Dude I really feel for you. As much as I dearly love and appreciate my wife, I'd go full on nuts without my alone/ recharge time. I guess the reason that I'm saying anything at all about this is because a few years ago I had to sit down with her and voice my concerns about this very same thing. Confronting her was difficult but necessary b/c if she'd had her way, we would've been joined at the hip forever and always... or until my murder trial.
> 
> My point is that you deserve to be able to have some time for yourself. I would guess that it's not as if this topic hasn't come up before in your household but seriously... I hope that you can convince her that you need some time in the day/ week/ month for yourself. I completely understand that it's not as simple as that but for your physical and emotional health, it's something that should be taken seriously. Apologies for speaking out of turn as I know this is a personal thing but you're a good dude and I just wanted to convey my support.



Thanks for the support, man. 

It's not really a case of my wife not understanding, it's just that the time for my me-time doesn't really exist at the moment. But no worries, I'm already feeling a bit better and I'm sure it'll sort itself out - I just need to latch on to the alone time chances I get offered more than before. I'm still kinda getting used to not living alone  Even when I lived at my mom's place, I could just go to my room whenever I wanted and no-one would bother me for days, now I have to be super strategic about it. Once my daughter's a bit bigger, I can start telling her to gtfo as well.



TedEH said:


> Starting this week on a bad foot. Asked someone out and can't get a strait response from them. I get to work and things I've submitted are being questioned as "sketchy" and "unnecessary" and being asked why I even bothered doing the things I've been working on for weeks. I want to be productive but some of what we need to just just has no direction right now..... Feels like I'm in full dumpster fire mode.



I had a similar moment today, but it just ended with me having to write a very detailed report about what I'd been doing and ultimately our company sending a fucking huge bill to the customer


----------



## TedEH

I'm a bit annoyed lately that I'll have been saying certain things for quite a while, to have those things dismissed - then when someone of "authority" says it, it's this brilliant revelation.


----------



## Mprinsje

Nothing really personal happened, but the french Formula 2 driver Antoine Hubert died today after a horrifying crash at the Spa circuit. 

I love motorsports. This just sucks man, he was only 22 years old or something.


----------



## KnightBrolaire

Brain Drill broke up.


----------



## protest

I lost my best bud last night. He was only 8. He collapsed in front of me and I couldn't get him to the 24 hour vet in time. He was so awesome. He was a dog in a cat costume. Always wanted to be around people, always hung out when we had people over, loved everyone. From the second I walked in the door after work to the second I left the next morning he was with either me or my wife. Sat there begging for food like a dog when we ate dinner, sat on the sink while I shaved, sat on the sofa next to me when I played video games, slept in our bed at night. Everyday that I walked in the door from work he was there with my dog Penny waiting for me. I lost her in November and now I've lost Chase, and no one was there when I get home today. And as tough and metal as I like to think I am, it fucking hurts man and I haven't been able to keep it together.


----------



## KnightBrolaire

protest said:


> I lost my best bud last night. He was only 8. He collapsed in front of me and I couldn't get him to the 24 hour vet in time. He was so awesome. He was a dog in a cat costume. Always wanted to be around people, always hung out when we had people over, loved everyone. From the second I walked in the door after work to the second I left the next morning he was with either me or my wife. Sat there begging for food like a dog when we ate dinner, sat on the sink while I shaved, sat on the sofa next to me when I played video games, slept in our bed at night. Everyday that I walked in the door from work he was there with my dog Penny waiting for me. I lost her in November and now I've lost Chase, and no one was there when I get home today. And as tough and metal as I like to think I am, it fucking hurts man and I haven't been able to keep it together.


I know how you feel man, I had a cat just like that and I was devastated when he died. I raised him from when he was a few days old and barely fit in the palm of my hand til he was a big thicc boii that I buried in my backyard. He was the friendliest/cuddliest cat I've ever met. He'd meet me at the door, and just constantly wanted to hang around me or sleep with me. 
Losing a pet sucks.


----------



## protest

KnightBrolaire said:


> I know how you feel man, I had a cat just like that and I was devastated when he died. I raised him from when he was a few days old and barely fit in the palm of my hand til he was a big thicc boii that I buried in my backyard. He was the friendliest/cuddliest cat I've ever met. He'd meet me at the door, and just constantly wanted to hang around me or sleep with me.
> Losing a pet sucks.



I know man, it's crushing. I'm a big animal person and I like them all, but my dog and him were different. Just so awesome and lovable and they both passed way too soon.


----------



## BenjaminW

Tonight's my first night in my new house. I've lived my entire life in my old house (I'm 16, so don't start thinking I'm like some neckbeard who lives in his mom's basement) and I don't really know life outside of that house and it's something I obviously gotta get used to now that I don't live there. 

Moving has always been a bit of a hotly debated topic in my family for probably the last 11 to 12 years or so since my dad viewed my old house as like a "layover" house in that we'd probably just end up living there for a few years, and then move to another house. I won't get into super into detail about it since it's a kinda long and complicated story that I feel like is going to be really boring.

The part that makes me sad about it is that I'm not really going to see any of the people I grew up with on my street ever again and it kinda causes you to really cherish those friendships more than you normally would.

Damn, that last part was really fucking hard to write without getting emotional myself.


----------



## High Plains Drifter

protest said:


> I lost my best bud last night. He was only 8. He collapsed in front of me and I couldn't get him to the 24 hour vet in time. He was so awesome. He was a dog in a cat costume. Always wanted to be around people, always hung out when we had people over, loved everyone. From the second I walked in the door after work to the second I left the next morning he was with either me or my wife. Sat there begging for food like a dog when we ate dinner, sat on the sink while I shaved, sat on the sofa next to me when I played video games, slept in our bed at night. Everyday that I walked in the door from work he was there with my dog Penny waiting for me. I lost her in November and now I've lost Chase, and no one was there when I get home today. And as tough and metal as I like to think I am, it fucking hurts man and I haven't been able to keep it together.



The only thing that helps is time. Chase was a truly handsome boy and I'll bet he lived a great life. You have my condolences, man.


----------



## protest

High Plains Drifter said:


> The only thing that helps is time. Chase was a truly handsome boy and I'll bet he lived a great life. You have my condolences, man.



Thanks man, I appreciate it.


----------



## TedEH

BenjaminW said:


> I'm 16





BenjaminW said:


> The part that makes me sad about it is that I'm not really going to see any of the people I grew up with on my street ever again


The unfortunate reality of being 16 is that there's a good chance that a lot of the people around you now aren't going to follow you through the rest of your life, so while it's not maybe a very helpful comment, I think it's worth keeping the perspective that this was going to happen eventually anyway. People grow apart, people move, your relationships with people will change. Don't think of it as a loss, so much as an opportunity to meet more people. That, and, at this point, the internet keeps people connected anyway soooo.....


----------



## BenjaminW

TedEH said:


> The unfortunate reality of being 16 is that there's a good chance that a lot of the people around you now aren't going to follow you through the rest of your life, so while it's not maybe a very helpful comment, I think it's worth keeping the perspective that this was going to happen eventually anyway. People grow apart, people move, your relationships with people will change. Don't think of it as a loss, so much as an opportunity to meet more people. That, and, at this point, the internet keeps people connected anyway soooo.....


I suppose that's a good way to look at it in my opinion.


----------



## TedEH

As someone in his 30s who has recently been running into a lot of old friends from around that age, it could be argued that something is still kept from those old friendships either way. It can be exciting to catch up down the road and see what's become of people you haven't seen in 10-15 years.


----------



## Ordacleaphobia

I actually just had my best friend from when I was ~13ish track me down from across the country to touch base and catch up. I don't do facebook or any social media at all, so he had his work cut out for him 
Haven't seen him since I moved away in 8th grade. It was neat. 

@BenjaminW, that definitely sucks, dude. I know (and I'm sure you know too) that it's one of those things that's just gotta happen and in the grand scheme of things, not a big deal and everyone will move on; but at the end of the day, it still blows. When we moved (right before I was about to enter HS, too ) I spent years as an angsty teen resenting my folks from tearing me apart from my friends and all the people I knew, but like Ted said- you meet new people. It sounds kinda shitty, but you forget about the old squad; save for every now and then when you get caught up remembering the good times. How's the new house? You guys move very far, or same general area?


----------



## BenjaminW

Ordacleaphobia said:


> @BenjaminW, that definitely sucks, dude. I know (and I'm sure you know too) that it's one of those things that's just gotta happen and in the grand scheme of things, not a big deal and everyone will move on; but at the end of the day, it still blows. When we moved (right before I was about to enter HS, too ) I spent years as an angsty teen resenting my folks from tearing me apart from my friends and all the people I knew, but like Ted said- you meet new people. It sounds kinda shitty, but you forget about the old squad; save for every now and then when you get caught up remembering the good times. How's the new house? You guys move very far, or same general area?


My new house is a little over 2 and a half miles away from my old one. It has a few extra bedrooms so we ended up giving my brother and I our own rooms and then the one room we had no real idea what to do with ended becoming my music room which I keep my guitars and drum kit in. It would've also probably been a guest room but since our house is on a private lane and there's not a whole lot of parking, there really wouldn't have been need to have a guest room since I don't really anticipate that many guests coming over in all honesty.


----------



## Ordacleaphobia

BenjaminW said:


> My new house is a little over 2 and a half miles away from my old one. It has a few extra bedrooms so we ended up giving my brother and I our own rooms and then the one room we had no real idea what to do with ended becoming my music room which I keep my guitars and drum kit in. It would've also probably been a guest room but since our house is on a private lane and there's not a whole lot of parking, there really wouldn't have been need to have a guest room since I don't really anticipate that many guests coming over in all honesty.



Sweet dude, sounds like a nice upgrade. It's great finally getting your own space. Same general area too, not too bad.


----------



## vilk

Everyone in the whole office went out for drinks last night, except for me, because I wasn't invited. No, not the bosses, but the 6 other people I work in the same room with who are all around the same age as me. Makes me wonder why I bother trying to be friendly to people who don't like me anyway. Maybe the wasted effort could be better spent on something that wont just make me feel like shit, time spent chatting about weekends could be better spent reading a book or something, since obviously no one actually cares about my weekend and probably isn't interested in telling me about theirs.

Now I'm paranoid that all sorts of people who I thought like me (or are at least neutral) actually secretly hate me and wish I'd leave them alone. Maybe I should. I probably wont... but it's just discouraging, you know. Giving me flashbacks to high school...


----------



## Ordacleaphobia

vilk said:


> Now I'm paranoid that all sorts of people who I thought like me (or are at least neutral) actually secretly hate me and wish I'd leave them alone. Maybe I should. I probably wont... but it's just discouraging, you know. Giving me flashbacks to high school...



I know it's tough, but don't. Try not to, at least.
I worried about this a lot while I was in college, this kind of suppressed concern that my friends weren't really my friends and just hung out with me because they felt bad or like they needed to or something. Did a ton of mushrooms one night, had an awful time which led into a teary conversation with a few of them who freaked the fuck out and chewed me out for even having the audacity to think such a thing 

Thoughts still come back from time to time but you have to remind yourself that you're probably reading too far into things and everything is probably fine. 
So your coworkers may be dicks, whatever. Or they may have just forgotten to hit you up. Who knows, who cares; they're just coworkers. But don't stress yourself out about your friends or people you know on a personal level.


----------



## Thaeon

A good buddy from my home town died. Don’t have details, but I think I know how.


----------



## Tyler

I lost a friend last night due to an overdose, then woke up today to find out a cousin of mine had died leaving his 3 children behind. Sometimes you just have to wonder why things happen the way they do


----------



## Metropolis

Three bigger gig venues in Helsinki are quitting their businesses next year, at least in their current properties. I was regular customer in all of them, always bought beer and what bands had in their merch boots. They're been replaced by hotels, and one of them is quitting because required sound insulation renovation could cost milions of euros, and that's because incoming neighbouring of a multinational corporation in same building. Fuck corporations and too high renting costs...


----------



## Kaura

Metropolis said:


> Three bigger gig venues in Helsinki are quitting their businesses next year, at least in their current properties. I was regular customer in all of them, always bought beer and what bands had in their merch boots. They're been replaced by hotels, and one of them is quitting because required sound insulation renovation could cost milions of euros, and that's because incoming neighbouring of a multinational corporation in same building. Fuck corporations and too high renting costs...



Which ones? I only know Nosturi is one of them.


----------



## Metropolis

Kaura said:


> Which ones? I only know Nosturi is one of them.



Circus because of sound insulation thingy, and renting contract with Virgin Oil Co. ends at beginning of 2020, and it's renovated to a hotel.


----------



## sleewell

my best friend passed away about 2 years ago. i knew him for 20 years. he was the person i talked to the most. we traveled a lot together when we were younger and i moved back from CA so that we could raise families together. he has 2 amazing little girls. 

it breaks my heart every day. feels like a big part of existence has been wiped away because so many of my best memories involve him.


----------



## Rosal76

vilk said:


> Everyone in the whole office went out for drinks last night, except for me, because I wasn't invited.



Obviously I don't know you and your co-workers well enough but it could be the situation and if there is a specific activity they're doing. There are a bunch of individuals who frequent (meet up) at the local pool hall that I also go to and they always plan these get togethers/social events for college football/soccer games, UFC matches and to watch specific movies. They never, ever call me for any of those events, which is fine because I don't have a interest in college football/soccer games, UFC matches and I don't watch movies in theaters anymore, anyways. However, when Steve Vai and Marty Friedman come to town, I'm the first one they call because they know I'm a fan.

Could it be your co-workers don't invite you because they don't think you'd be interested in specific event(s) they're involved in?


----------



## Adieu

My left nut is sore, I think I dislocated it.


----------



## High Plains Drifter

sleewell said:


> my best friend passed away about 2 years ago. i knew him for 20 years. he was the person i talked to the most. we traveled a lot together when we were younger and i moved back from CA so that we could raise families together. he has 2 amazing little girls.
> 
> it breaks my heart every day. feels like a big part of existence has been wiped away because so many of my best memories involve him.



Just wanted to say that your words really hit home with me. That void is sometimes so immense. You have my condolences.


----------



## Ordacleaphobia

My boss is quitting.

Kind of an unusual cause to be sad, but we had an absolutely fantastic rapport. She's had my back 110% since I started, played a huge part in getting me this job, and kind of basically took me up as her protégé. Working with her and our direct overseer on the executive team were my favorite parts about this job- and I don't see the big man much since he's busy doing executive shit, and now with her leaving, I'm kind of on edge on what's going to become of things at work. We didn't really work with anybody else, most of our time was spent with each other. Who knows, whoever comes in next might be different in such a way that I start hating my job. 

Then, it sounds like her position is likely going to be floated to me, and all I need to do is ask for it. Which is great, don't get me wrong- it's incredible to get that vibe from everybody. Its just really bittersweet, you know? Like given the option, I'd rather flush the promotion and keep my boss, but that's not an option. The two of us built our department out of nothing. In 40+ years of company history, they've never had this department run anywhere near as smoothly. We established a process, a culture, all of that; done *our *way. I don't really want to trust that to anybody else; but at the same time, it's a huge step up in responsibility for me. I've never done management before, much less corporate. On paper, I am _*grossly*_ unqualified. So although I know realistically that I'll be able to do what's required for the position (she always kept me really involved), I'm definitely concerned about the pressure and being able to deliver if I do take it.

It's a really strange feeling to have someone that you respect, look up to, and hold as a role model tell you that they're leaving and that they think you're their perfect replacement.
I guess as far as reasons to be sad go, this is a good one. But I'm still really sad.

Thanks for listening to my first world problems SSO Group Therapy Gang. You guys are the best.


----------



## High Plains Drifter

I miss seeing Pondman's builds. Hope he's okay.


----------



## TedEH

^ +1 to that.


----------



## KnightBrolaire

there's a sick galactic sparkle 060 at guitar center that's marred by a hideous Maleficient inlay/text.


----------



## MFB

KnightBrolaire said:


> there's a sick galactic sparkle 060 at guitar center that's marred by a hideous Maleficient inlay/text.



It took me a hard look on the website to even find that thing, who the hell does a purple inlay on a black fretboard? Just leave it blank at that point.


----------



## KnightBrolaire

MFB said:


> It took me a hard look on the website to even find that thing, who the hell does a purple inlay on a black fretboard? Just leave it blank at that point.


yeah, like I said, they ruined that guitar. That glorious sparkle finish deserved to be the focal point of the guitar.


----------



## DiezelMonster

So earlier in this thread I posted about my partner of 9 years moving in August to Korea to teach English for a year, As I said before at first it was difficult to grasp life without her, but slowly I become accustom to the idea and fully supported it, her plan was to do this for a year and then come home and we would start our family and buy a house.

We had an amazing relationship, we never fought. Sure we had disagreements and I have been know to do some childish shit, but nothing we didn't work out. 

4 months into it she breaks up with me. I'm fucking beside myself, didn't see this coming. Probably should have seen it coming and didn't.

Life sure is strange, I lost my dog in December of last year, my mom is currently fighting breast cancer and now this. It's been a dark fucking year and I'm really feeling the walls close in around me.

fuck


----------



## High Plains Drifter

DiezelMonster said:


> So earlier in this thread I posted about my partner of 9 years moving in August to Korea to teach English for a year, As I said before at first it was difficult to grasp life without her, but slowly I become accustom to the idea and fully supported it, her plan was to do this for a year and then come home and we would start our family and buy a house.
> 
> We had an amazing relationship, we never fought. Sure we had disagreements and I have been know to do some childish shit, but nothing we didn't work out.
> 
> 4 months into it she breaks up with me. I'm fucking beside myself, didn't see this coming. Probably should have seen it coming and didn't.
> 
> Life sure is strange, I lost my dog in December of last year, my mom is currently fighting breast cancer and now this. It's been a dark fucking year and I'm really feeling the walls close in around me.
> 
> fuck



So very sorry. It's especially hard when we haven't even recovered from a loss or hardship and then we're dealt another blow. I genuinely hope for some solace to come to you. Time really will help. May take a while and sometimes the clock will tick slowly but eventually you'll get beyond this. Since we really have no idea what's around the bend, just try to continue appreciating the things and the people around you that make things suck just a little less. You have my empathy and my virtual support, brother.


----------



## TedEH

I screwed up a bunch of things at work. Won't get into specifics, but some stuff we need doesn't work anymore, and nobody knows how to fix it.


----------



## DiezelMonster

High Plains Drifter said:


> So very sorry. It's especially hard when we haven't even recovered from a loss or hardship and then we're dealt another blow. I genuinely hope for some solace to come to you. Time really will help. May take a while and sometimes the clock will tick slowly but eventually you'll get beyond this. Since we really have no idea what's around the bend, just try to continue appreciating the things and the people around you that make things suck just a little less. You have my empathy and my virtual support, brother.




Thanks man, I appreciate it. Last night was the worst night for me but today I got up and went about my life. Thank you.


----------



## High Plains Drifter

Don't mind me... just feeling like I need to get this out idk... 

Sleeping sucks. I'm increasingly plagued by bad dreams and it means sleep cycles of maybe 2-4 hrs at a time... until I reach full exhaustion and crash for 6-8 hrs maybe once every couple weeks. I'm seeing my deceased parents in my dreams a lot lately ( deceased in real life fwiw) and it seems that they're always either leaving or inaccessible or ignoring me. They don't seem to care that I'm almost always distraught and reaching out to them in one way or another. Sometimes my sister is in there somewhere too. Real life- She's still living but we're separated by many miles... We talk and text fairly regularly but whatever. In my dreams no matter who is in there, it seems that I'm just simply disconnected from them. It leaves me feeling scared and anxious and usually those feelings are still very much present when I wake up. The dreams normally are dark.. figuratively and literally and that just makes everything more dire/ sad/ frightening. To add to these lovely dreams it seems that I'm often struggling, slipping, falling down, or suffocating as well. 

I had a decent childhood for the most part and never felt abandoned nor neglected by anyone in my family but I wonder if as I take on more responsibilities in my life ( just bought a new home... first time) that it scares me that I have no one but myself ( and my wife) to rely upon. I mean... my parents have been dead for many years and I've always considered myself very independent and self-sufficient but idk... I dunno why I seem to be seeing them in my dreams more and more often lately. I'm busy with a lot of things along with increasing challenges day to day so maybe I suppress it all a good deal... then it creeps up and bites me in the ass in my dreams but fwiw sleeping really scares me these days. I've always had pretty insane and often scary dreams but it just seems to be getting worse. Idk... time to try to get in a couple more hours now... so tired all the time. 

If you read this then thank you.


----------



## p0ke

High Plains Drifter said:


> I'm increasingly plagued by bad dreams and it means sleep cycles of maybe 2-4 hrs at a time...



Sounds familiar, man... I mean, I've never had exactly that kind of dreams, but at one point I died in my dreams every night for maybe like a year straight. Sometimes the dreams were happy up to that point, but then I crossed a road and got run over by a truck or something like that. My worst dream was one where I got home from work and heard my wife cheating on me with someone in our bedroom. Then I walked around the apartment to sneak up on them (our bedroom at that time had doors on both sides), but as I entered the room the guy was hiding around the corner and stabbed me to death before I could see him. Happy stuff... Luckily I haven't had any dreams pretty much since we moved into our current house (it's not like the kids let me sleep enough to have dreams )...


----------



## TedEH

I've been in one of those kinds of funks lately where every small thing frustrates me. But the thing that frustrates me the most is that when I express what is bothering me, it gets blatantly ignored. I've been trying for a while now to get away with a nice simple evening at home, without interruption, without having to go out, or go out of my way for someone else, or having to wait around for anything, etc - to try to regain that sense of being "at home" and in control of my day, so I can spend an evening just feeling like myself again, but something always gets in the way.

For the last few months I've been away from home so often, practically living out of my car and a backpack, and it's wearing me down. I don't feel at home, and I don't feel like I can just be myself.


----------



## High Plains Drifter

p0ke said:


> Sounds familiar, man... I mean, I've never had exactly that kind of dreams, but at one point I died in my dreams every night for maybe like a year straight. Sometimes the dreams were happy up to that point, but then I crossed a road and got run over by a truck or something like that. My worst dream was one where I got home from work and heard my wife cheating on me with someone in our bedroom. Then I walked around the apartment to sneak up on them (our bedroom at that time had doors on both sides), but as I entered the room the guy was hiding around the corner and stabbed me to death before I could see him. Happy stuff... Luckily I haven't had any dreams pretty much since we moved into our current house (it's not like the kids let me sleep enough to have dreams )...



I hear that watching squirt-p0rn will cause those kind of dreams. 

So...just woke up from this one: 

Went to some restaurant and it's kinda normal I guess but as usual... low light and stairs... lots of stairs. Go down this tight dark hallway ( lotta times the hallways and rooms in my dreams are leaning or at strange angles making me feel trapped or restricted). Eventually ( the waiter?) leads me down some more stairs to the dining room which is fairly dark. There are windows all along one side. Once onto the main dining room floor I notice as I look out the wall of windows that there's a raging river outside... right up against the side of the structure. It's almost completely black outside including the water. Now the floor is sort of tilting downwards where I'm walking. I think (?) that the other diners are calm idk... but I'm being led to this corner of the room which is partially submerged under the churning muddy water and now the floor is beginning to break apart and I'm walking on tree roots (?) trying not to slip and fall into the water that has now enveloped the floor. I'm trying my best to keep from slipping into the blackness... grabbing onto things ( other people, tables, chairs?). I'm starting to kinda freak out but as usual... no one seems to notice me. All I remember after that is a door opening ( out to a patio idk?) but I'm refusing to go out there cause it's completely under this turbulent black water. I'm guessing that it started to go into another dream at that point as I don't remember anything after that but then I woke up shortly after. Fun times..


----------



## Blytheryn

DiezelMonster said:


> So earlier in this thread I posted about my partner of 9 years moving in August to Korea to teach English for a year, As I said before at first it was difficult to grasp life without her, but slowly I become accustom to the idea and fully supported it, her plan was to do this for a year and then come home and we would start our family and buy a house.
> 
> We had an amazing relationship, we never fought. Sure we had disagreements and I have been know to do some childish shit, but nothing we didn't work out.
> 
> 4 months into it she breaks up with me. I'm fucking beside myself, didn't see this coming. Probably should have seen it coming and didn't.
> 
> Life sure is strange, I lost my dog in December of last year, my mom is currently fighting breast cancer and now this. It's been a dark fucking year and I'm really feeling the walls close in around me.
> 
> fuck



Almost the same thing happened to me last year. My girlfriend of five years went on an exchange semester to Slovenia, broke up with me after two months and came back with a new boyfriend, and now a year later they’re engaged.

I know exactly how you must feel. I’m so sorry man.


----------



## Adieu

Renovation @ home, ended up in a Motel 6 for a week due to stinginess and pet policy (2 cats)

This fukken place.... ugh. Unsanitary, dirty, noisy, all sorts of odd stains, busted up furniture, "smoke free" room reeks of smoke, tap water runs white with particulates, thuggish looking folk wandering about, wifi too slow to run netflix stably, key cards work intermittently, allergies playing up, aircon temp control can't hold a setting and yo-yo's from cold to hot...

Shiiiiiiit


----------



## p0ke

High Plains Drifter said:


> I hear that watching squirt-p0rn will cause those kind of dreams.



I never said I watched those, I just made the observation that those things are all over the place  But yeah, I'm pretty sure the dreams were caused by my unstable mental state at that time. I'd just become a father and getting used to that took a long time.


----------



## High Plains Drifter

p0ke said:


> I never said I watched those, I just made the observation that those things are all over the place  But yeah, I'm pretty sure the dreams were caused by my unstable mental state at that time. I'd just become a father and getting used to that took a long time.



Haha... I know I know... I just couldn't pass that up!


----------



## TedEH

I'm finding myself to be in a whole pile of uncomfortable situations simultaneously. A friend of a friend wants me to fill in for them for a show, but I know none of the material and the show is in 5 days. The dating life has been rocky and weird for a few weeks and doesn't seem to improving. A bunch of personal projects/goals have just been sort of abandoned lately.


----------



## TedEH

Oh hey, I'm back to the sad thread. Xmas for Ted has been just.... quietly unpleasant. It's been a rough few months, and a day like this just sort of punctuates it.


----------



## Gmork

Because time is fleeting and ill probably be dead soon. Need to get my one and only album finished and released so i can die in peace


----------



## Metropolis

Really on the fence of leaving my current band where I've been playing last six years. 

Then to the reasons... I don't think I have good "musical relationship" whith any of the other four guys. We don't jam at all (we don't play music that is really born in that way, but it should still happen from time to time), or make new ideas together just by playing our instruments. Which doesn't just feel very natural.

The music itself has become somewhat "stiff" and always sounding the same, because songs are mostly written by our other guitarist using Guitar Pro.

We recorded an EP last year, and I don't think it sounded good enough partly regarding to other players skill level and dedication what they do as a player. It doesn't always sound musical enough, "glued", or well thought in individual level if I get into nyances like this. There is just something, lack of feel and enough practice with some of the guys doing. Generally what we do there is some slacking in areas which I find very important. For example interest in gear is partly a way to sounding better and searching for it, there isn't enough of that either.

I took the part of recording three out of five instruments, planned all that and participated as kind of producer in the studio, and worked sort of as quality inspector for the time. Planned almost the whole release of it and everything what includes in releasing songs in independent releases. It was lot of work and felt exhausting mentally because others were not very interested in this part of making music, which is recording for example. EP didn't come out too bad, but this is just the way I feel and make observations.

If you're not interested enough in that part of making music, it doesn't carry really far nowadays. That's just the way it is.

Any advice, because this is my first "real band" where we are recording and playing gigs locally.


----------



## Gmork

Metropolis said:


> Really on the fence of leaving my current band where I've been playing last six years.
> 
> Then to the reasons... I don't think I have good "musical relationship" whith any of the other four guys. We don't jam at all (we don't play music that is really born in that way, but it should still happen from time to time), or make new ideas together just by playing our instruments. Which doesn't just feel very natural.
> 
> The music itself has become somewhat "stiff" and always sounding the same, because songs are mostly written by our other guitarist using Guitar Pro.
> 
> We recorded an EP last year, and I don't think it sounded good enough partly regarding to other players skill level and dedication what they do as a player. It doesn't always sound musical enough, "glued", or well thought in individual level if I get into nyances like this. There is just something, lack of feel and enough practice with some of the guys doing. Generally what we do there is some slacking in areas which I find very important. For example interest in gear is partly a way to sounding better and searching for it, there isn't enough of that either.
> 
> I took the part of recording three out of five instruments, planned all that and participated as kind of producer in the studio, and worked sort of as quality inspector for the time. Planned almost the whole release of it and everything what includes in releasing songs in independent releases. It was lot of work and felt exhausting mentally because others were not very interested in this part of making music, which is recording for example. EP didn't come out too bad, but this is just the way I feel and make observations.
> 
> If you're not interested enough in that part of making music, it doesn't carry really far nowadays. That's just the way it is.
> 
> Any advice, because this is my first "real band" where we are recording and playing gigs locally.


Ugh i can seriously relate to this.


----------



## p0ke

Metropolis said:


> Really on the fence of leaving my current band where I've been playing last six years.
> 
> Then to the reasons... I don't think I have good "musical relationship" whith any of the other four guys. We don't jam at all (we don't play music that is really born in that way, but it should still happen from time to time), or make new ideas together just by playing our instruments. Which doesn't just feel very natural.
> 
> The music itself has become somewhat "stiff" and always sounding the same, because songs are mostly written by our other guitarist using Guitar Pro.
> 
> We recorded an EP last year, and I don't think it sounded good enough partly regarding to other players skill level and dedication what they do as a player. It doesn't always sound musical enough, "glued", or well thought in individual level if I get into nyances like this. There is just something, lack of feel and enough practice with some of the guys doing. Generally what we do there is some slacking in areas which I find very important. For example interest in gear is partly a way to sounding better and searching for it, there isn't enough of that either.
> 
> I took the part of recording three out of five instruments, planned all that and participated as kind of producer in the studio, and worked sort of as quality inspector for the time. Planned almost the whole release of it and everything what includes in releasing songs in independent releases. It was lot of work and felt exhausting mentally because others were not very interested in this part of making music, which is recording for example. EP didn't come out too bad, but this is just the way I feel and make observations.
> 
> If you're not interested enough in that part of making music, it doesn't carry really far nowadays. That's just the way it is.
> 
> Any advice, because this is my first "real band" where we are recording and playing gigs locally.



Have you tried talking about it with the other guys? I mean, not in a "I'm considering GTFO'ing" kind of way, but just discussing recording/improving tones/etc. And the jamming part? Just suggest trying it. It's the only way my band creates songs, and it makes the process exponentially longer, but it's ultimately worth it since all songs become team efforts. Glues all the guys together pretty nicely.
I wouldn't stay in a band just because "first real band" though, but if there's anything more to it, I wouldn't give up just yet.


----------



## Metropolis

p0ke said:


> Have you tried talking about it with the other guys? I mean, not in a "I'm considering GTFO'ing" kind of way, but just discussing recording/improving tones/etc. And the jamming part? Just suggest trying it. It's the only way my band creates songs, and it makes the process exponentially longer, but it's ultimately worth it since all songs become team efforts. Glues all the guys together pretty nicely.
> I wouldn't stay in a band just because "first real band" though, but if there's anything more to it, I wouldn't give up just yet.



I have in the past, and they don't want to invest into more practicing or doing/learning recording to do it better, and general attitude towards doing those things more is kind of bad. Which for me has become a deal breaker. Tones have been fine at the moment and really improved in the last 2-3 years, but I think there is still not enough investment in those things. And if I would take on these things more I predict it'd be taken as a some kind of insult again.

About jamming part, I don't feel our drummer is good enough in terms of musicality or skill level (doesn't really practice with drums at his home at all, which shows), and the other guitarist who is the band leader and former is just not a jamming & improvising type of player. I would of course love to do that.

I don't think it's going to get any better, and you always can't come and say for other people what to do. Unfortortunately I have to do that sometimes, maybe too much. I feel like growing out and maybe doing some other things in music would be better.


----------



## Gmork

Metropolis said:


> I have in the past, and they don't want to invest into more practicing or doing/learning recording to do it better, and general attitude towards doing those things more is kind of bad. Which for me has become a deal breaker. Tones have been fine at the moment and really improved in the last 2-3 years, but I think there is still not enough investment in those things. And if I would take on these things more I predict it'd be taken as a some kind of insult again.
> 
> About jamming part, I don't feel our drummer is good enough in terms of musicality or skill level (doesn't really practice with drums at his home at all, which shows), and the other guitarist who is the band leader and former is just not a jamming & improvising type of player. I would of course love to do that.
> 
> I don't think it's going to get any better, and you always can't come and say for other people what to do. Unfortortunately I have to do that sometimes, maybe too much. I feel like growing out and maybe doing some other things in music would be better.


Form another band. It helps, just let the main band be what it is and not stress. Dont waste your efforts on them if they dont care. Just disconnect and enjoy it for what it is and put your efforts into a new project with like minded people


----------



## Metropolis

Gmork said:


> Form another band. It helps, just let the main band be what it is and not stress. Dont waste your efforts on them if they dont care. Just disconnect and enjoy it for what it is and put your efforts into a new project with like minded people



Not a bad idea, thinked this also myself a while ago.


----------



## Gmork

Metropolis said:


> Not a bad idea, thinked this also myself a while ago.


Im literally in the same boat as you. The similarities are frightning lol.


----------



## TedEH

I finally got the whole story for why our singer quit a month ago. If I had been in their shoes, I probably would have quit too.


----------



## TedEH

Aaaaand my power has gone out. I've got internet via my phone though. It's... faster than my home internet normally is, which makes me even more sad.


----------



## Kobalt

TedEH said:


> Aaaaand my power has gone out. I've got internet via my phone though. It's... faster than my home internet normally is, which makes me even more sad.


There's BARELY any accumulation here and the lights already started flickering...it's gonna be a long few days, I think...


----------



## NotDonVito

My power’s out too, but not even due to weather. There have been electrical issues in my building for months now, and the transformer or whatever it’s called finally popped off around 10 pm. That portable jumper battery I bought last year is finally getting some use!


----------



## USMarine75

I waited too long to pull the trigger on a $300 guitar, and now it turns out it may have been another one-of-a-kind leftover parts Valley Arts Samick... dammit.


----------



## TedEH

Power came back.... then went back out again. Now it's back. Then I got one of those mobile phone alert thingies about a warning at a nuclear something something about 300km away. What a weird morning.


----------



## Seabeast2000

GuitarSetup said:


> Volcano Erupted near my place alert level 4, dangerously to alert 5


Pinatubo?


----------



## Gmork

Stay safe folks!


----------



## TedEH

One of those days where everything just sort of seems to be going wrong. I want to write some lyrics, but I suck at it and don't like any of what I produced today. I've been waiting around for what I'm expecting will be a rejection message that's going to sting. It's cold out. I dunno. The first two things make me want to complain about anything and everything.


----------



## p0ke

Not sure if I'm more mad or sad, but anyway: My 3 yo daughter is beating the crap out of me mentally. She's going through this defiance phase or whatever you wanna call it, and keeps going from 0-100 all the time. Basically from being a super cute little girl to screaming so loud, my ears still ring an hour later. Her highest note is probably close to something only dogs can hear too.
I'm usually super patient with her, but after a full day of work I just can't take any additional bullshit so I snap at her a bit too easily. But then once the situation has cooled down, and I'm back to being all mellow and trying to be funny again, she goes straight back to doing the stuff that pisses me off as if she completely forgot what the end result was just a moment ago. And as that goes on, I get into full rage mode more easily every time.

And the worst part is adding my wife into that equation. Same thing minus the initial patience, and once she's gone into full rage mode, she doesn't snap out of it. She basically goes into regression and becomes like a 3yo herself  Yesterday when I got home from work they were both sitting on the floor crying and screaming. So I first fed the daughter, which took her back into "cute little girl"-mode, and then I asked her to go hug mom and say she's sorry. She did, and I could hear in her voice that she was being sincere too, but my wife was still too deep in her own rage to accept the apology... So then I did the same thing in reverse, aka. fed my wife and had her apologise to the daughter  In the end everyone was happy, apart from me being completely spent.

I know it's just a phase and I'm sure it won't take long (next thing I know I'll be chasing teen guys with an axe ), but for now, I don't have any spare energy for anything. Anyone with kids can probably relate.


----------



## High Plains Drifter

p0ke- I think you're an awfully cool dude and I don't wanna act like I know more than I do about your situation. And I know that a lot of the comments in here are just venting. But I just wanna say this... You and your wife need to work together as a team. Parents absolutely need to be on the same page regarding raising their children. Hopefully your daughter is just going thru a phase but in these early developmental years, you know... kids are like sponges... absorbing everything around them and taking their cues from their role models. A healthy relationship with your spouse paves the way for a healthy child... one that doesn't manipulate, or push the limits of what they can get away with. Please don't take any of that the wrong way, brother. Much respect to you.


----------



## p0ke

High Plains Drifter said:


> p0ke- I think you're an awfully cool dude and I don't wanna act like I know more than I do about your situation. And I know that a lot of the comments in here are just venting. But I just wanna say this... You and your wife need to work together as a team. Parents absolutely need to be on the same page regarding raising their children. Hopefully your daughter is just going thru a phase but in these early developmental years, you know... kids are like sponges... absorbing everything around them and taking their cues from their role models. A healthy relationship with your spouse paves the way for a healthy child... one that doesn't manipulate, or push the limits of what they can get away with. Please don't take any of that the wrong way, brother. Much respect to you.



That's true, and it is definitely a team effort. In our case it's a bit problematic, because I work 9-5 and my wife often works evenings and weekends. So the team work becomes such that one comes home from work to "save" the other, like I described before. Due to said setup though, I'm the one who ends up spending more time with the daughter.
But yeah, it's definitely a phase - you can tell that the cogs in my daughters head just clog up from time to time and then the only thing she can do is rage. Her general personality is super nice, so it's very easy to tell when "that" happens.


----------



## TedEH

My life kinda feels like a big joke right now. Sort of like one of those "could use a win any time now" kind of moods.
Part of me wants to type a bunch of details up but it's all so trivial.


----------



## TedEH

I put a noticeable ding in the back of my Martin, and it was really dumb on my part. I even had taken it out to an open mic event, figured I could go do some acoustic tunes and decided I wanted the good guitar to go with me. Made it back home without any problem. Immediately take it back out at home, walk through a doorway and smash the back into the plate whatever-you-call-it for the door knob. Any guitar that gets used is eventually going to take some damage, and it lasted a year without a scratch, but still. Some part of me is sad that it's not in like-new shape anymore.


----------



## MaxOfMetal

TedEH said:


> I put a noticeable ding in the back of my Martin, and it was really dumb on my part. I even had taken it out to an open mic event, figured I could go do some acoustic tunes and decided I wanted the good guitar to go with me. Made it back home without any problem. Immediately take it back out at home, walk through a doorway and smash the back into the plate whatever-you-call-it for the door knob. Any guitar that gets used is eventually going to take some damage, and it lasted a year without a scratch, but still. Some part of me is sad that it's not in like-new shape anymore.



Acoustics with battle scars are sexy. Even if said battle was with a door jamb.


----------



## BlackMastodon

I'm sad Converge doesn't have any other songs like Wretched World.


----------



## TedEH

I feel oddly exhausted and sad after a show that I saw yesterday. Generally speaking the show went well - the sound was well done, the theatre was just about full, there were some very minor playing flubs but I don't think the audience noticed for the most part.

But the part that got to me was just how.... lowest common denominator the whole thing was, and how nothing about the event felt like it was being genuine or honest with itself, but everyone just gobbled it up. It was exhaustingly surreal. Like I felt like I was acting on the set of a bad sitcom about up-and-coming rock stars or something.

I got the ticket for free because my cousin was in the opening band. But woah now, can't call it an opening band. For some reason they insisted that everyone say that it was a "double headline" or something because they refused to be called openers. It was "their" show, despite the fact that they were clearly the local support for the touring act. I was given this whole story about how originally the touring band _was actually going to open for them_ but the venue decided it would be more fair to make them co-headliners and something something swapped the order around. No. Whoever organized this knew what they were doing and put the big touring band that will draw people at the end of the night. But nobody could admit this, lest egos be bruised or something. The two bands were clearly on different professional levels. Don't get me wrong, nobody did a _bad job_, but I wouldn't open for a bigger touring / label act and pretend that I'm on that same level. The attitude of it just rubs me the wrong way.

But then the songs themselves made no sense. It was a country band, and basically a touring cover band. I think there were maybe 4 or 5 original songs all night. So on top of the attitude of acting more pro than you really are, all of the songs and lyrics (including on the original songs) are about the same things that _every_ country song are about. But we're in Canada. It's cold. This is not "country music" kind of an area, so it feels out of place. When you sing the lyrics "you're as smooth as Tennessee whisky", but you're from western Quebec and I've never seen you drink whisky in your life, nor do I think you could even find Tennessee on a map let alone having been there, it just feels so out of place.

Then the headliner was made up of a guy who was on a french The Voice kind of show, and a bunch of hired session guys. Honestly the session guys were solid, and the singer dude had a decent voice and stage presence but they basically just played a bunch of standard classic rock tunes. The drummer looked like he wanted to be in a thrash band and kinda played like it too - he hit hard, all rim shots, lots of exaggerated movement because he was playing way under his skill level and was having fun with it. This was a band that looked very capable of doing more than they were but they just played the same old tunes everyone has heard a million times.

BUT

Standing ovations. Lineups for autographs with everyone. I mean, about a third of the audience was the openers families, and there were kids everywhere, and old people, etc. When I say the show was lowest common denominator, I feel like the audience is proof of this, because there was basically... a bunch of whole families. It's such a generic universal appeal that everyone can just go. But I felt very out of place - like there was one moment where the opener had a "breakdown" in one of their songs and I thought "oh, wow, they're going somewhere with this song, this could be pretty good- oh wait nevermind they're back to the basic country bits again". Like I felt like the old person who got dragged to a slayer show or something.

Then I go home and think - I've been in something like 5 bands over the course of 15 years and maybe once played a venue half as nice as this one. None of my family can name any songs I've played or know any of the lyrics. I can count on one hand how many times these same family members have come out to shows I've done in those 15 years.

There's just something saddening and exhausting about how so many artists I know (and sure, I'm lumping myself into this) struggle to even get 20 strangers into a room to play some original music, but this generic rock-star-veneer, low-denominator, big-ego cover band type show can fill a venue like this in Gatineau of all places.

I don't normally do the "this makes me want to quit" kind of drama.... but this kind of thing makes me want to quit. No matter how good the music I come up with might be, I'm never going to play country rock for old people just to fill a room. And therefor I might never fill a venue. I probably won't. That's not what music means to me. But people don't generally care about music in the sense that I do. Music is, at least on some level, a social thing - but there's a disconnect. People don't want to make that kind of connection to the kind of stuff I would want to play.


----------



## Leviathus

Yet another day has gone by where a meteor hasn't crashed through my roof onto my head.


----------



## c7spheres

TedEH said:


> I feel oddly exhausted and sad after a show that I saw yesterday. Generally speaking the show went well - the sound was well done, the theatre was just about full, there were some very minor playing flubs but I don't think the audience noticed for the most part.
> 
> But the part that got to me was just how.... lowest common denominator the whole thing was, and how nothing about the event felt like it was being genuine or honest with itself, but everyone just gobbled it up. It was exhaustingly surreal. Like I felt like I was acting on the set of a bad sitcom about up-and-coming rock stars or something.
> 
> I got the ticket for free because my cousin was in the opening band. But woah now, can't call it an opening band. For some reason they insisted that everyone say that it was a "double headline" or something because they refused to be called openers. It was "their" show, despite the fact that they were clearly the local support for the touring act. I was given this whole story about how originally the touring band _was actually going to open for them_ but the venue decided it would be more fair to make them co-headliners and something something swapped the order around. No. Whoever organized this knew what they were doing and put the big touring band that will draw people at the end of the night. But nobody could admit this, lest egos be bruised or something. The two bands were clearly on different professional levels. Don't get me wrong, nobody did a _bad job_, but I wouldn't open for a bigger touring / label act and pretend that I'm on that same level. The attitude of it just rubs me the wrong way.
> 
> But then the songs themselves made no sense. It was a country band, and basically a touring cover band. I think there were maybe 4 or 5 original songs all night. So on top of the attitude of acting more pro than you really are, all of the songs and lyrics (including on the original songs) are about the same things that _every_ country song are about. But we're in Canada. It's cold. This is not "country music" kind of an area, so it feels out of place. When you sing the lyrics "you're as smooth as Tennessee whisky", but you're from western Quebec and I've never seen you drink whisky in your life, nor do I think you could even find Tennessee on a map let alone having been there, it just feels so out of place.
> 
> Then the headliner was made up of a guy who was on a french The Voice kind of show, and a bunch of hired session guys. Honestly the session guys were solid, and the singer dude had a decent voice and stage presence but they basically just played a bunch of standard classic rock tunes. The drummer looked like he wanted to be in a thrash band and kinda played like it too - he hit hard, all rim shots, lots of exaggerated movement because he was playing way under his skill level and was having fun with it. This was a band that looked very capable of doing more than they were but they just played the same old tunes everyone has heard a million times.
> 
> BUT
> 
> Standing ovations. Lineups for autographs with everyone. I mean, about a third of the audience was the openers families, and there were kids everywhere, and old people, etc. When I say the show was lowest common denominator, I feel like the audience is proof of this, because there was basically... a bunch of whole families. It's such a generic universal appeal that everyone can just go. But I felt very out of place - like there was one moment where the opener had a "breakdown" in one of their songs and I thought "oh, wow, they're going somewhere with this song, this could be pretty good- oh wait nevermind they're back to the basic country bits again". Like I felt like the old person who got dragged to a slayer show or something.
> 
> Then I go home and think - I've been in something like 5 bands over the course of 15 years and maybe once played a venue half as nice as this one. None of my family can name any songs I've played or know any of the lyrics. I can count on one hand how many times these same family members have come out to shows I've done in those 15 years.
> 
> There's just something saddening and exhausting about how so many artists I know (and sure, I'm lumping myself into this) struggle to even get 20 strangers into a room to play some original music, but this generic rock-star-veneer, low-denominator, big-ego cover band type show can fill a venue like this in Gatineau of all places.
> 
> I don't normally do the "this makes me want to quit" kind of drama.... but this kind of thing makes me want to quit. No matter how good the music I come up with might be, I'm never going to play country rock for old people just to fill a room. And therefor I might never fill a venue. I probably won't. That's not what music means to me. But people don't generally care about music in the sense that I do. Music is, at least on some level, a social thing - but there's a disconnect. People don't want to make that kind of connection to the kind of stuff I would want to play.


- I feel like this almost everywhere I go, like I'm a ghost just observing or something or an alien sent to gather data. Nobody gets me. I feel like I'm watching a play or street theater or in the Truman show or something sometimes. Nothing makes sense anymore. I think I'm either to smart or to dumb to know what's going on or being able to fit in : ) I think it's the part of getting old when you start to say stuff like "I remember when.." and "... was better back when..." or " .. kids these days.."" etc., but it's actully true! -You're not the only one. Hang in there!


----------



## TedEH

c7spheres said:


> Hang in there!


I ended up going to see Gorod shortly after, and I felt much better.


----------



## whatupitsjoe

I get this really overwhelming feeling whenever I'm at a concert that I shouldn't be in the crowd, but on the stage instead. It completely takes me out of the environment. Anyone else relate?


----------



## TedEH

It really depends on the show, but I kinda get it.


----------



## Demiurge

Oh but for that crippling stage fright.

I'll just daydream that I'm a performer who is not only successful but also not too jaded regarding the concert-going experience.


----------



## TedEH

The venue that holds most of our metal shows in this area seems to be going through..... something? We don't know what exactly. The shows that are booked there are being moved to other venues, some people are claiming there's renovations happening, and all kinds of rumours about it being turned into a nightclub or something. We needed _more_ and _better_ venues, not fewer of them.


----------



## sleewell

my band is basically ready to gig but we can't find a good singer. sucks. all of the people coming out recently to audition have been huge disappointments.


----------



## MaxOfMetal

sleewell said:


> my band is basically ready to gig but we can't find a good singer. sucks. all of the people coming out recently to audition have been huge disappointments.



Pull a Mastodon and just wing it.


----------



## natedog_approved

I was turned down for a supervisory role at work. 
I've applied for every single leadership role at all my jobs in the last 10 years and I've never been able to land it. Starting to feel like I might as well resign myself to entry level employment.


----------



## Demiurge

^That sucks. Have you inquired with any of the hiring managers something along the lines of, "if you think I'm not ready/qualified, then how do I get there?" Either they'll have an answer for you that will help; if not that will tell you what your future at the company is going to be like (that is, perhaps start looking elsewhere).


----------



## MaxOfMetal

natedog_approved said:


> I was turned down for a supervisory role at work.
> I've applied for every single leadership role at all my jobs in the last 10 years and I've never been able to land it. Starting to feel like I might as well resign myself to entry level employment.



Breaking into management is one of the biggest hurdles in modern employment. 

Keep your chin up, it's not just you. 

Where I work, if you want off the production floor, you have to go somewhere else to be management first, be it a different plant within the company or outside. They just don't typically promote directly outside of extraordinary cases. Speaking to other industry folks, that's become something of the standard unless you work at a smaller, rapidly growing business. 

Don't know what you do, but I highly recommend seeking out trade organizations and networking groups within your field. Put resumes and feelers out there. Remember, who you know is just about as important as what you know. 

Again, don't let the man get you down.


----------



## Ordacleaphobia

natedog_approved said:


> I was turned down for a supervisory role at work.
> I've applied for every single leadership role at all my jobs in the last 10 years and I've never been able to land it. Starting to feel like I might as well resign myself to entry level employment.



Hey man, I feel it.
Same thing happened to me in October, my boss quit, strongly advocated for me to get her position, and they were even laying it on thick making it sound like they were just itching for me to say I wanted the job, only to tell me that "actually, we're just axing this position altogether," and then pouring all of the _*responsibilities*_ of that job onto me. With a mere $1/hr raise that I had to ask for (demand), and took over 2 months to get approved. I now have to supervise, train, and manage 3 departments while nobody technically reports to me, manager is nowhere near my job title, I am still hourly, stuck on the floor while there are 3 offices available, I am now intensely micromanaged, have started seeing a psychiatrist to deal with the newfound stress, have picked up a questionable self-medication habit as a direct result of all this, and no I'm not still upset about it, why do you ask?


----------



## c7spheres

natedog_approved said:


> I was turned down for a supervisory role at work.
> I've applied for every single leadership role at all my jobs in the last 10 years and I've never been able to land it. Starting to feel like I might as well resign myself to entry level employment.


 I've only ever seen nepotism at play in every place I've ever worked for. I've never seen anyone actually be promoted that deserved it. Ever. I know this is a very negative view, but it's my experience. The only people I've ever seen promoted were friends, family members, people that did special "favors" for higher ups and those who had something to blackmail/extort from a higher up. I hate that this is my experience. This is America, where hard work only gets you more hard work. It will never pay off in the corporate world unless someone let's you get your foot in the door. You don't get there by hard work. Hard work, knowledge and experience are the criteria and entry fee to play the game. It's a given you have to have all that up front. The game itself is an entirely different thing. Doing your own thing if at all possible is the best way, imo, even if it means making less money. Fuck the corporate bullshit and try doing you own thing if at all possible, or, get in and out while you can. Take the money and run. Screw them.


----------



## c7spheres

Ordacleaphobia said:


> Hey man, I feel it.
> Same thing happened to me in October, my boss quit, strongly advocated for me to get her position, and they were even laying it on thick making it sound like they were just itching for me to say I wanted the job, only to tell me that "actually, we're just axing this position altogether," and then pouring all of the _*responsibilities*_ of that job onto me. With a mere $1/hr raise that I had to ask for (demand), and took over 2 months to get approved. I now have to supervise, train, and manage 3 departments while nobody technically reports to me, manager is nowhere near my job title, I am still hourly, stuck on the floor while there are 3 offices available, I am now intensely micromanaged, have started seeing a psychiatrist to deal with the newfound stress, have picked up a questionable self-medication habit as a direct result of all this, and no I'm not still upset about it, why do you ask?


 Hey, That's what happened to me at almost every place I worked for, basically : )


----------



## bostjan

sleewell said:


> my band is basically ready to gig but we can't find a good singer. sucks. all of the people coming out recently to audition have been huge disappointments.



I put a great band together once, sans singer. We searched for the right singer for 8 years. Yeah. I'm convinced that singers do not exist in metal. There are metal musicians who learn to sing out of necessity and there are singers who get roped into metal.

If you start working on your vocal chops now, you'll be good enough to do it yourself before you'll ever find a worthy singer, probably. 



natedog_approved said:


> I was turned down for a supervisory role at work.
> I've applied for every single leadership role at all my jobs in the last 10 years and I've never been able to land it. Starting to feel like I might as well resign myself to entry level employment.



Honestly, after 10 years, you aren't going to get it. Find another job and make an impression there. We have tons of folks where I work who have been trying to crack into supervisory roles forever. Once they've been an employee in X department for >3 years, they just become a staple there. Sometimes people start in X department, then go to Y department, then Z department, then become supervisors. Usually when they do, there is gossip about how they weren't good enough to do anything else, so they supervise.

If you put in for a supervisor job somewhere else, the new job won't see you as a lifelong department X worker until you spend too much time there, so it's a fresh start at least.



TedEH said:


> Awesomely cathartic story too long to quote



I've been there, and I bet you've been there before this incident in some other way maybe.

These things never make sense to people like me. Even playing in cover bands who had little trouble booking gigs and packing a small venue... Then I go on tour with an original act who does music that the band members are all super passionate about and we get super great feedback from outside our bubble, and play all empty rooms and come back from touring exhausted, emotionally. Sometimes opening for an opening band for a known band. Yay, we were on the same bill as you-know-who. But, it really didn't matter, if you-know-who went on at 10 PM and we were on at 7 and no one was there until halfway through the next band's set. Or doing festival shows where we don't even dig the headliner's music, yet 90% of the entire crowd shows up right before the headliner goes on. The realization sinks in that some of these bands just have a lucky rabbit's foot or something, where they seem to put minimal effort into promotion or rehearsing and somehow everyone loves them. A little jealousy, maybe, but mostly just honest confusion.

And having been in some more successful small acts and way more horribly unsuccessful ones - being an old fart now, I know deep in my heart that it doesn't matter what music you play, really. It doesn't matter how tight your band is or how much work you put into rehearsing or grass-roots promotion or how much money you spend on advertising or good equipment (although those things all help to some extent), what makes the difference between Jon Bon Jovi and No-one-cares-band-#-5381 is "charisma." And people, whether they acknowledge it outwardly or not, will decide whether or not they like your band from the first glance at you 99% of the time. So if you've got your look together and that look is topical/popular, you'll do 100x better than if you don't. Basically, if your band is attractive, you will do 100x better by default. All of the little things like busting your butt to sound good or get people to notice is a drop in the bucket compared to that.

I know it sounds like a huge gripe, but that's not how I see it. It's the way it is, and it's the way of the world. We are all a part of the society that feeds into that. So, going full circle back to Natedog's scenario, if you look like (non-supervisor) to your bosses, they will pigeonhole you into that role. If you look like a fun musical act, people will pigeonhole you into that. If you look like a metalhead playing in a Jimmy Buffet Cover Band, then people will probably be confused in a way they don't like, and they will respond accordingly.


----------



## Adieu

Btw, good question for the wanna-supervise crowd: do y'all look like current flaming metalheads? 

Or 100% upright civillians?


----------



## natedog_approved

Demiurge said:


> ^That sucks. Have you inquired with any of the hiring managers something along the lines of, "if you think I'm not ready/qualified, then how do I get there?" Either they'll have an answer for you that will help; if not that will tell you what your future at the company is going to be like (that is, perhaps start looking elsewhere).



I usually do and most often it's something along the lines of "you're great, but this person is better". Always seem to be second place.



MaxOfMetal said:


> Breaking into management is one of the biggest hurdles in modern employment.
> 
> Keep your chin up, it's not just you.
> 
> Where I work, if you want off the production floor, you have to go somewhere else to be management first, be it a different plant within the company or outside. They just don't typically promote directly outside of extraordinary cases. Speaking to other industry folks, that's become something of the standard unless you work at a smaller, rapidly growing business.
> 
> Don't know what you do, but I highly recommend seeking out trade organizations and networking groups within your field. Put resumes and feelers out there. Remember, who you know is just about as important as what you know.
> 
> Again, don't let the man get you down.



I know networking is great, but it's kind of a weird situation. I do financial control for an ocean freight carrier, but the office is located in Utah. I know there's logistics companies everywhere, but they can't match up to the salary/benefits.



Ordacleaphobia said:


> Hey man, I feel it.
> Same thing happened to me in October, my boss quit, strongly advocated for me to get her position, and they were even laying it on thick making it sound like they were just itching for me to say I wanted the job, only to tell me that "actually, we're just axing this position altogether," and then pouring all of the _*responsibilities*_ of that job onto me. With a mere $1/hr raise that I had to ask for (demand), and took over 2 months to get approved. I now have to supervise, train, and manage 3 departments while nobody technically reports to me, manager is nowhere near my job title, I am still hourly, stuck on the floor while there are 3 offices available, I am now intensely micromanaged, have started seeing a psychiatrist to deal with the newfound stress, have picked up a questionable self-medication habit as a direct result of all this, and no I'm not still upset about it, why do you ask?



Dude, that's rough. Maybe I should just count my blessings and keep punching that time card.




bostjan said:


> Honestly, after 10 years, you aren't going to get it. Find another job and make an impression there. We have tons of folks where I work who have been trying to crack into supervisory roles forever. Once they've been an employee in X department for >3 years, they just become a staple there. Sometimes people start in X department, then go to Y department, then Z department, then become supervisors. Usually when they do, there is gossip about how they weren't good enough to do anything else, so they supervise.
> 
> If you put in for a supervisor job somewhere else, the new job won't see you as a lifelong department X worker until you spend too much time there, so it's a fresh start at least.



Maybe I wasn't super clear. I mean I've worked for several different companies over the last 10 years and I've always applied for supervisor/management spots that open up. Not with the same employer! This time around I just felt super confident: I do my job well and I already kinda see myself as de facto supervisor. I know more and have better KPI's than just about everyone else in the department. Other than my manager, my coworkers usually come to me with questions on how to do whatever it is they're asking about.


----------



## Ordacleaphobia

Clean cut, shaved, no tattoos or piercings, normal haircut, drive a nice car and wear a suit to work. I look more out of place at the shows I go to than in an office building.

I think what fucked me was that despite glowing reviews from management and the executives, being responsible for a record set of years for the company, overhauling procedure to be the most efficient it's ever been in the 50 year history of the company, lead administrator of 3 separate software systems and the subject matter expert that other staff turn to when they need help- I'm turning 25 in a week and a half, making me the youngest employee in company history by a solid 6 years. Nobody wants to be supervised by a 25 year old.


----------



## natedog_approved

Adieu said:


> Btw, good question for the wanna-supervise crowd: do y'all look like current flaming metalheads?
> 
> Or 100% upright civillians?



This is a great question hahah.

I have short hair, beard is neat, tattoos are only visible on casual friday's. My ears are stretched, but not crazy large, only to 5/8". I dress nice (I think?). The office I work in is fairly progressive about this, they don't seem to care about appearance too much.

I dont usually meet with clients or anything. Usually just phone calls and emails.


----------



## MaxOfMetal

natedog_approved said:


> I usually do and most often it's something along the lines of "you're great, but this person is better". Always seem to be second place.
> 
> 
> 
> I know networking is great, but it's kind of a weird situation. I do financial control for an ocean freight carrier, but the office is located in Utah. I know there's logistics companies everywhere, but they can't match up to the salary/benefits.
> 
> 
> 
> Dude, that's rough. Maybe I should just count my blessings and keep punching that time card.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Maybe I wasn't super clear. I mean I've worked for several different companies over the last 10 years and I've always applied for supervisor/management spots that open up. Not with the same employer! This time around I just felt super confident: I do my job well and I already kinda see myself as de facto supervisor. I know more and have better KPI's than just about everyone else in the department. Other than my manager, my coworkers usually come to me with questions on how to do whatever it is they're asking about.



That's the rub, you might have to take a step backwards in pay/benefits to grab the supervisor/management title. Though, you should be able to leverage that to make two steps forward to a higher pay ceiling. 

It's a difficult choice to make. I sort of did the opposite. I went from salary to hourly, made about 20% less for the first three years, but it later payed off and now I'm making almost twice what I was before with significantly better benefits and workload.

Also, never be a "de facto boss". Ever. Why are they going to pay you more and give you a fancy title for what you already do? I know it's hard, especially if you're a great worker and care about what you do. Those are great qualities. But, you're not doing yourself the favors you think you are. There's a fine line between leadership and going above your pay grade. Find that balance.


----------



## Merrekof

Ordacleaphobia said:


> Clean cut, shaved, no tattoos or piercings, normal haircut, drive a nice car and wear a suit to work. I look more out of place at the shows I go to than in an office building.


This is me..except for the nice car and suit. I have a small business in construction.


----------



## lurè

Can't watch football (soccer) because all matches have been canceled due to coronavirus emergency.


----------



## USMarine75

Missed out on a Nux B2 wireless for $70 shipped dammit.


----------



## TedEH

I keep having days lately where I feel like quitting everything. Quit trying to make music, quit recording things, quit trying to be creative, quit trying to be social. Go live under a rock on my own.

I've complained about similar things before, and the same pattern happened again this weekend:

I've been feeling kind of starved for shows to play since all the bands have been in learning/writing/recording phases lately. A lot of why I like to play is for the jams and the shows, but there hasn't been anything since October. There's a social element to it that I can't get anywhere else. Since I've been trying to come up with my own music for the last while - I figured maybe a way to go is start playing my own stuff unplugged - I can go to open mics or something.

So I tried to get a crew together to start hitting open mics and people seem to be into the idea conversationally - I've got a lot of music-playing and music-enjoying friends, right? Right? Some old high school friends, some old band-mates, work friends, etc etc., I invited a bunch of them to come with me to an open mic that they have every month near my office. Got all kinds of enthusiasm when I first brought it up. Suddenly got real quiet once the actual day came up though.

I send out reminders the night before, and put up a thing on facebook saying I was going, inviting anyone I know to come with. I got one comment that said "definitely"... but it was clearly sarcastic. I wasn't sure if I should read it as such at first, but it clearly was, I guess.

I mean, at this point, if you're reading this, you already know that nobody showed up. I had made a point that even if I can't get anyone else to go, I should just go for myself. Get more comfortable with being behind a mic, being at the front of a performance, etc. And it would be kinda social, right? Go meet some people or something? I went anyway.

Aaaaaand felt completely out of place again. I basically showed up, signed up, found a table to watch from. And I sat, on my own, watching a bunch of very rough performances (I mean, it's an open mic). I went up and did my stuff, which was pretty out of place among the other people doing almost entirely shaky country covers. Some of them could play ok. Some of them could keep time. Most people there had brought their support / family with them, so there were cheers and tears every time a random lady would get up, nervously stumble through a song until some "high note" would happen, etc etc. I really shouldn't judge, but it really isn't my crowd I guess. I don't have a crowd.

When the event was over, one guy came and said he enjoyed it, then he went back to his family. I think I barely spoke to anyone else for the 3+ hours I was there.

So I packed up, paid for my drinks, went home, and played Skyrim in my apartment alone for the rest of the day. Because what else am I going to do. I guess that's it. That's my life in a nutshell. It kind of feels like this day sums up what my life is. Try to do things, try to be social, try to be expressive or creative, try to advance in my job, try to build relationships, try to better myself, watch other people succeed at all of these things even when it seems like they shouldn't, then go home and be alone in my head. Repeat basically forever.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Now I just don't know what to do with myself. Nothing really feels worth doing.


----------



## p0ke

TedEH said:


> I keep having days lately where I feel like quitting everything. Quit trying to make music, quit recording things, quit trying to be creative, quit trying to be social. Go live under a rock on my own.
> 
> I've complained about similar things before, and the same pattern happened again this weekend:
> 
> I've been feeling kind of starved for shows to play since all the bands have been in learning/writing/recording phases lately. A lot of why I like to play is for the jams and the shows, but there hasn't been anything since October. There's a social element to it that I can't get anywhere else. Since I've been trying to come up with my own music for the last while - I figured maybe a way to go is start playing my own stuff unplugged - I can go to open mics or something.
> 
> So I tried to get a crew together to start hitting open mics and people seem to be into the idea conversationally - I've got a lot of music-playing and music-enjoying friends, right? Right? Some old high school friends, some old band-mates, work friends, etc etc., I invited a bunch of them to come with me to an open mic that they have every month near my office. Got all kinds of enthusiasm when I first brought it up. Suddenly got real quiet once the actual day came up though.
> 
> I send out reminders the night before, and put up a thing on facebook saying I was going, inviting anyone I know to come with. I got one comment that said "definitely"... but it was clearly sarcastic. I wasn't sure if I should read it as such at first, but it clearly was, I guess.
> 
> I mean, at this point, if you're reading this, you already know that nobody showed up. I had made a point that even if I can't get anyone else to go, I should just go for myself. Get more comfortable with being behind a mic, being at the front of a performance, etc. And it would be kinda social, right? Go meet some people or something? I went anyway.
> 
> Aaaaaand felt completely out of place again. I basically showed up, signed up, found a table to watch from. And I sat, on my own, watching a bunch of very rough performances (I mean, it's an open mic). I went up and did my stuff, which was pretty out of place among the other people doing almost entirely shaky country covers. Some of them could play ok. Some of them could keep time. Most people there had brought their support / family with them, so there were cheers and tears every time a random lady would get up, nervously stumble through a song until some "high note" would happen, etc etc. I really shouldn't judge, but it really isn't my crowd I guess. I don't have a crowd.
> 
> When the event was over, one guy came and said he enjoyed it, then he went back to his family. I think I barely spoke to anyone else for the 3+ hours I was there.
> 
> So I packed up, paid for my drinks, went home, and played Skyrim in my apartment alone for the rest of the day. Because what else am I going to do. I guess that's it. That's my life in a nutshell. It kind of feels like this day sums up what my life is. Try to do things, try to be social, try to be expressive or creative, try to advance in my job, try to build relationships, try to better myself, watch other people succeed at all of these things even when it seems like they shouldn't, then go home and be alone in my head. Repeat basically forever.
> 
> ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> Now I just don't know what to do with myself. Nothing really feels worth doing.



If that's how you feel, maybe don't try doing anything for a while? If you don't have any deadlines or such, you don't really need to anything. Just take some time off from everything you can (of course don't quit your job etc) and play the fuck out of Skyrim  
Then get back to all the other stuff once you feel like it again.


----------



## TedEH

That doesn't really sound right to me though. Besides, I already do a lot of that. It's like a weird sense of isolation - I want to be social, I want to go hang around with people and do things and have conversations etc etc. But those things don't happen. I end up back at my place playing video games on my own. 

I took a bunch of time off in January, about a month. I did almost exactly the thing being prescribed here -> I did nothing but relax, play some music at home, play a ton of video games, etc. By the time that vacation was over, I just wanted more than anything else to go back to work and speak to some actual people.

It's difficult not to point at the people around me and get mad at them - for bailing on things, for feigning interest until it comes time to actually do something, etc. I know people have their lives and whatnot. It's not their fault that I have trouble finding my place socially.

It's like when you go to a show, and even if the band playing is mostly unknown, a small handful of people know the words and came to support their friends, etc. I don't really have that. I've been in bands and writing my own music for something like 15 years, and I can't think of anyone who knows the words to any of the songs. I have to twist people's arms to come out to anything.

I tried to have a halloween party. Nobody showed up. I tried to have an xmas party. It didn't happen. I tried to do a newyears thing. Everyone had plans already so I went elsewhere. My birthday came and went, I tried to turn that into some kind of casual party thing where people can drop in whenever - I had all of two people show up, each for a short time, and not at the same time. It was something I guess. I really appreciated that they made the effort, but 90% of that day was spent again playing video games alone in my apartment when the intention was to be social that day.

In between these thing happening, I'll see someone else at work, for example, have a "small party" on a whim and half the office shows up, and there's enough people that newcomers are just sitting on the floor 'cause there's not enough space for everyone. At this point, in my 30s, everyone has their partners and their families and their established social circles and their responsibilities and I have..... just things. I've accumulated things instead of relationships.

I don't want to just do nothing and play video games, I do enough of that. I want the opposite of that. I thought maybe music could be a sort of common denominator to bridge that gap.


----------



## TedEH

Today was jam day. Took some frustration out on a drum kit. Feel a bit better now. Not amazing. But definitely better.


----------



## p0ke

What I meant was that at least for me, things usually start happening when I don't try to force anything. Just go with the flow without too specific expectations, that's my strategy anyway. Of course if you have enough you-time already, you don't need more. I guess I just wish I had more of it myself...


----------



## TedEH

Yeh, I get what you were going for. I was in a mood. Going back to work has brought things back to normal, mood-wise, but I think it's fair to say that there's still a lingering sense of frustration with a number of things.

I go through this thing at times - I think it's "normal" to a point - where any very positive event seems to be followed by receiving everything that comes after with the opposite mood. Go out to a great show? The next day or two, everything seems to go wrong, as if some kind of bias has shifted, making an average/ok day feel bad compared to a good day. Best way to describe it maybe is the "opponent process theory". I don't know how much of this week is attributed to this kind of mood thing or if I'm just legitimately frustrated about things that are reasonable to be frustrated about.


----------



## TedEH

As if the universe hasn't been mocking me enough, this morning I get up and my car is stuck in the parking space. Snow has been melting and re-freezing and so my front tires ended up in muddy holes surrounded by ice. Had to get the neighbour to push out of the hole, and even then, it almost didn't work.


----------



## TedEH

More things go wrong today. I don't feel like going into details right now. Just sad, and had to share that, so to the guitar forum it is, for some reason. The universe just keeps kicking me while I'm down. Enough to post three times in a row!


----------



## Leviathus

@TedEH Hang in there mang, every day we all begin anew.


----------



## c7spheres

Hey, Thought I'd throw some of my thoughts out there. Do with it what you will. I hope things turn around for you.
- I know what it's like to be on both sides of this fence. I know that telling you to hang in there doesn't help much. I do know that what seems to be happening with you is that the tide of life and time is basically forcing you to live with yourself and discover yourself more. You sound adrift, respectfully.
- I would honestly play less games and watch less tv unless it's an artisitc or introspective type material. Still play if you feel like it, but a lot less. Get out of your phone too. You seem to already have been in an introspective state for a while now from what I've been reading. Unplug as much as possible. You've been practicing entertainment and games so that's what's coming back to you, in a sense, because your almost meditating on it. Maybe even dwelling.
- Remember too that guitar isn't a game or toy, it's an instrument and can be used for self exploration and healing. This is a time where you can really "hunker down" and get some work done. It's the perfect opportunity. Get better or more in touch with your music and writing. Be you more in your music and discover yourself more with it. It's not about making songs or entertaining others. It's about your connection to higher things, imo. 
- Go places and meet people like you've been doing, but let them attract to you rather than vise versa. Practice something close to what would seem like nonchalance, but not quite. Don't be a jerk or actually not care, or seem like a stuck up person or anything like that, but be aware and in control of yourself, and calm. In a relatively short time/months people will introduce themselves to the point you may want to be left alone. Seriously. Some people would love to be in your current position.
- If you find a place you really like and start going there daily, and be yourself in this manner, then eventually you'll know almost everyone that frequents the place through an almost convergence. The nature of the workplace doesn't usually aid in this unfortunately, depending.
- There's a lot of other things you can do like this too, but basically people will come to you because they are familiar and comfortable around you after awhile. If you go to the same exact place every single day it will speed up the results. Obviously, there has to be people around to meet people. You are also allowed to just give someone a look or a quick interaction to get the ball rolling too. Only ever be kind to them. As much as you can, but don't let them take advantage, and stand firm at most of your lines you draw. Be you, but with willingness to change in small acceptable ways.
- Something to remember about yourself and others that is very simple yet true (and easier said than done) is this: "Don't worry about anything. If you've got it under control then don't worry, because you've got it under control. If it's something out of your control, then also don't worry, because it's out of your control. There's nothing/little you can do." The trick is being able to realize if something is actually under or out of your control, and also bringing things into and letting things go out of your control. Like I said, easier said than done, but a good practice. You can control others to a certain point, but you are in much more control of yourself. All you can do is plant seeds and nurture them the appropiate amount. Don't over nuture/water them and if you plant a seed don't under-water it. Some seeds can get lost or forgotten, and though regretable, are on their own paths.
- Excercise. Even just stretching and getting the blood flowing. Figure out your diet too. You are what you eat, to a point. Practice breathing (start off with 4-7-8 breath technique when laying in bed going to sleep and after waking up). I admit I can be a bit of a hypocrite seeing that I'm a smoker. Hey, Nobody's perfect.
- When meditating or lying in bed before sleep literally try to recall sequentially every memory you possibly can from birth, then let it go from your mind and on to the next one. The more you do this the more you'll recall over time. Start at the very begninning each time. Try to remember something between two memories, even if it's small or seemingly insignificant. Eventually you'll have a very different, yet appreciative view of your life and look at what a full life you've had. You'll remember who you are and were. Both good and bad memories in restrospect mean you survived and are more well rounded for it. By this time in life you've been through a lot. Doing this will automatically help sort some things out and bring back many bad and good memories you forgot even happened. It's amazing when you start getting bursts/packets of memories you forgot were even part of your life. It can start getting very detailed. Bringing everything to the forefront of your mind like this will help solidify and anchor you as a complete person. You'll actually know yourself better after weeks and months of this. After years of doing this, "things" really start to happen, meaning your true self is more solidified and you can also evolve yourself faster too, because you really do know yourself. Look at old photos or letter's, memories, etc and come to terms with your past. Not just bad things, but all of it. Really try to be grateful for it all. Being able to "re-work" anything postive or negative that happened years ago with your knowledge and wisdom today will still help a lot. There is a sort of future you that can warn the you of the past, (but in hindsight), through the present you, which is actually still very helpful. Eventually you can sort of foresee (for lack of a better term) things, so your present self can make better decisions, but also decisions regarding others as well (which is unstable ground for both you and them, but useful still). It's being mindful of your wisdom by bringing it to the forefront, and also making yourself wiser, in a sense, by realizing the wisdom you already have but don't excercise yet, or different ways of using or perceiving wisdom to begin with. By gaining this you can extrapolate pretty far and accuratley into the future. With much practice and failure you can get pretty good at it and walk both more carefully and confidently down life's path. No, I can't predict the future. No I don't have the lotto numbers.
- I know this can sound really new ageist, overly optimistic, and fanciful. The thing is that very few people really go to the extent of dedicated practice of this type stuff and quickly write it off due to the lack of results. These are things that can take years to even enter in to the realm of acknowledgement that they are legitimately sound in any form. The benefits are for those who gain it through their practice and those with "gifts". It's very similar to guitar in that it takes a lot of dedication and practice to even reach the entry level of skill required to realize a song to fruition or something that resembles an original song, but this takes a lot more dedication because the results just don't come automatically because effort was put in. Results I find are normally realized in hindsight. One day you realize what you've become in contrast to what you once were, and also through appiphany. Even with this knowledge and experience it never ceases to amaze and it always seems to subtlety do it over and over again, somehow.
- I wish the best for you and will keep you in my postive thoughts. Though we never met, I believe you have a good heart. You may not know it, but you are likely a rock for many people. You're probably here for a greater purpose than realized. Hardship, hard times, and lonely lives are reserved for special people. You may or may not be one of these people. Keep walking your path, plan for the worse, but hope for the best. Keep seeking and living your life. Realize that no matter what you believe (and though it sounds cheezy) it's like John Lennon said: "There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be." But unlike the next line, I don't agree that it's easy.
Take care man.

TLDR; All you need is Love.


----------



## TedEH

That's much more response than I expected. The thoughts are appreciated.



c7spheres said:


> TLDR; All you need is Love.


I have so many mixed thoughts about the idea of "love", and it very often feels like the path forward is accepting that it's not going to come from other people. But if love is the word we'll chose to use, then I think I read this as "all I need is [to] love", as opposed to "all I need is [to be] loved". I have to be the source of whatever I want.

I'm reminded of the thing I keep posting when things get weird:
Be good to yourself... 'cause nobody else is going to do it.

It's definitely a pessimistic angle. But I don't know that I can really otherwise fault it.


----------



## c7spheres

TedEH said:


> That's much more response than I expected. The thoughts are appreciated.
> 
> 
> I have so many mixed thoughts about the idea of "love", and it very often feels like the path forward is accepting that it's not going to come from other people. But if love is the word we'll chose to use, then I think I read this as "all I need is [to] love", as opposed to "all I need is [to be] loved". I have to be the source of whatever I want.
> 
> I'm reminded of the thing I keep posting when things get weird:
> Be good to yourself... 'cause nobody else is going to do it.
> 
> It's definitely a pessimistic angle. But I don't know that I can really otherwise fault it.


 Oops! I meant to PM that to you! 
- I think words, like love, get in the way a bit. But yeah, As hard as it is sometimes, I think loving and being as kind as you can to everyone you meet goes a long way. Especially those that have wronged you. What's messed up is it seems that the times when it becomes your normal then all of a sudden you see negativity and "evil" everywhere. Like the opposites attract thing. Then temptation creeps in and you see how easy it would be to just do the wrong things to obtain whatever tangible or intangible thing it is. Like we're being tested or pressured somehow. It seems to happen more the harder you try, and more misforture seems to come your way too. I don't know when, but at some point this stuff started becoming obvious, then almost predictable. It made me really reconsider wtf is going on in this bizarre void of space we live in. Sometimes I think I'm tri-polar. I can be really loving, really hateful, and really apathetic too sometimes. It basically under my control now though, but it creeps in there sometimes.


----------



## TedEH

Agreed, words and semantics matter, but they also get in the way.



c7spheres said:


> I think loving and being as kind as you can to everyone you meet goes a long way


But also be those things to yourself. I often hit my lowest points when I forget to cut myself some slack, or forget to be forgiving of myself.


----------



## watson503

My fiance and I found-out last night that our oldest cat, Walter "Big Walt" Cronkite, will not be with us in this realm much longer. It was a hard night last night and a harder morning...the vet said to just let him eat and do whatever he wants and thankfully since I work from home I can do just that and watch over him. He's been one of the best friends I've ever had and it's going to be very hard to see him go.


----------



## KnightBrolaire

watson503 said:


> My fiance and I found-out last night that our oldest cat, Walter "Big Walt" Cronkite, will not be with us in this realm much longer. It was a hard night last night and a harder morning...the vet said to just let him eat and do whatever he wants and thankfully since I work from home I can do just that and watch over him. He's been one of the best friends I've ever had and it's going to be very hard to see him go.


It's a horrible feeling to lose a pet. My cat died back in September and it was gut wrenching even though I knew it was coming.


----------



## natedog_approved

watson503 said:


> My fiance and I found-out last night that our oldest cat, Walter "Big Walt" Cronkite, will not be with us in this realm much longer. It was a hard night last night and a harder morning...the vet said to just let him eat and do whatever he wants and thankfully since I work from home I can do just that and watch over him. He's been one of the best friends I've ever had and it's going to be very hard to see him go.



A toast! To Walter "Big Walt" Cronkite. May he forever chase mice in the fields of Elysium and dominate the heavens with his superior feline intellect 

In all seriousness, I feel you man. Losing a friend is never easy.


----------



## High Plains Drifter

@ watson 503- Very sorry to read about your buddy. You and your fiance have my deepest condolences.


----------



## p0ke

Final Fantasy VII remake looks awesome and I'm really looking forward to playing it, but it's PS4 exclusive and I have an Xbox One  Luckily exclusive means "for one year" these days, so maybe I'll get to play it in a year...


----------



## Ordacleaphobia

p0ke said:


> Final Fantasy VII remake looks awesome and I'm really looking forward to playing it, but it's PS4 exclusive and I have an Xbox One  Luckily exclusive means "for one year" these days, so maybe I'll get to play it in a year...



You will- they already announced it's just a timed exclusive.
Just do what I'm doing and borrow your buddy's PS4 for a week


----------



## p0ke

Ordacleaphobia said:


> You will- they already announced it's just a timed exclusive.
> Just do what I'm doing and borrow your buddy's PS4 for a week



I don't know anyone who owns a PS4  Also if I borrowed one for a week, chances are I wouldn't even get to start the game once because of family stuff, so I just gotta buy it so I can play it a few hours here and there...


----------



## watson503

So after our trip to the vet last week, Walter had a great weekend and seemed to be making a big turnaround....and this morning he was fine until @ 11am - went to get my guitar and he was on the ground and seemed to have lost the use of his hind legs...it went from that to worse within minutes and we rushed him to the hospital where we spent the remaining moments of his life as they euthanized him. My fiance and I are devastated, but his memory will live on. Rest in peace, my friend. And thanks to everyone who offered their well-wishes the other day, that was very awesome of y'all.

Rolling-around in the catnip yesterday:


----------



## natedog_approved

watson503 said:


> So after our trip to the vet last week, Walter had a great weekend and seemed to be making a big turnaround....and this morning he was fine until @ 11am - went to get my guitar and he was on the ground and seemed to have lost the use of his hind legs...it went from that to worse within minutes and we rushed him to the hospital where we spent the remaining moments of his life as they euthanized him. My fiance and I are devastated, but his memory will live on. Rest in peace, my friend. And thanks to everyone who offered their well-wishes the other day, that was very awesome of y'all.
> 
> Rolling-around in the catnip yesterday:



Fuck man.

I was literally just thinking about Walter and was hoping he was doing well when this notification popped up. I know I don't know you or your cat, but I share your pain.

Truly sorry for your loss. It's clear he was lucky to have you as his human and I imagine he knew that as well.


----------



## KnightBrolaire

watson503 said:


> So after our trip to the vet last week, Walter had a great weekend and seemed to be making a big turnaround....and this morning he was fine until @ 11am - went to get my guitar and he was on the ground and seemed to have lost the use of his hind legs...it went from that to worse within minutes and we rushed him to the hospital where we spent the remaining moments of his life as they euthanized him. My fiance and I are devastated, but his memory will live on. Rest in peace, my friend. And thanks to everyone who offered their well-wishes the other day, that was very awesome of y'all.
> 
> Rolling-around in the catnip yesterday:


My condolences. May he kill many a foe in cat Valhalla


----------



## High Plains Drifter

Dammit... I'm so very sorry to hear about Walter. Virtual hugs go out to you and your girl.


----------



## Charlie Foxtrot 3rd

Sorry to hear about Walter, reading this made me go and give my girl Vader a big cuddle


----------



## watson503

Thanks, y'all...it is so very appreciated and reading your comments has been too cool. Couldn't really sleep last night and I'm heartbroken but life goes on and he will be remembered.


----------



## High Plains Drifter

Well idk how appropriate it is to say but tbh anytime that I hear of someone loosing a companion, I often times have a kind of "smile" in my heat. Reason being that I have to assume that he or she was dearly cherished and had an otherwise comfortable and happy life. People who adore their pets are the best people.


----------



## Charlie Foxtrot 3rd

Laid my dog to rest today. Knox was his name, he was 13. His organs started to shut down over the last few days, old age, nothing could be done but the inevitable, the Vet put him to sleep and now I have a Mastiff shaped hole where my heart used to be. Fucken sucks. He passed away surrounded by family, he loved and he was loved.


----------



## watson503

Oh man, I'm so sorry...condolences to you and your family. Rest in peace, Knox.


----------



## High Plains Drifter

Sincerely sorry to hear about Knox. Heartfelt condolences to you. He was quite obviously very loved and well cared for.


----------



## Kaura

People still buying sick gear and I'm about to get homeless if I don't find a new apartment until the end of the month and all the apartments in my price range are pretty much under the rock. Also, I have no idea how to get through the next few months since I now get paid half what I used to before the corona shit.


----------



## DiezelMonster

I'm sorry for everyone that has just lost a pet, I lost mine Dec 3rd 2018 and it's been the hardest time, especially since my partner left me too, and now this whole Apocalypse thing....not sure what is keeping me going but, My condolences to everyone.

Even though it's Hate Eternal, this is a song that I was listening too on the way to put my dog down. Its fitting and horribly sad.


----------



## High Plains Drifter

Condolences to you, brother. My heart aches for you and so many others right now... including myself and my wife. We're trying to remain positive even without much indication that anything will get much better anytime soon. Please just try to find some solace wherever and whenever you can. At times like this it's sometimes just a matter of taking each day one at a time. Don't allow yourself to become overwhelmed with the negatives nor burdened by the things that you can't change. We're all desperately wishing for brighter days ahead. You're in my thoughts and you have my support.


----------



## BusinessMan

Nothing to do with being sad, what wtf do you do when as of recent your SO gets asshurt about literally EVERYTHING YOU SAY OR DO AS OF RECENT? I can’t even make a joke or anything without her being absolutely buttfuck offended about it.

I’ve tried addressing it with them but bruuuuh they just get asshurt about that.


----------



## High Plains Drifter

Can you have a civil and sincere conversation about your feelings?.. you as well as her? That's really the only place to start. You REALLY need to listen to what she's saying as well as reading her body language. If she's not willing to have this kind of talk or if she becomes easily defensive, then you may need to approach things with even more patience and compassion. You always need to consider that other things outside of your relationship may be affecting how she's interacting with you but it could also be the relationship itself.

With the little that you've outlined here, it could be anything. And you must try to accept that "anything" may be something that y'all can get thru by yourselves or something that isn't going to find resolve without some type of mediation or intervention. But those things are up to you and she BOTH to be honest about... in terms of where your heads and hearts are with one another. If the relationship is worth working on, then you both have the right and the responsibility to be candid about that. But you can't force things in a relationship or that will only lead to resentment and further issues. Step one... Communicate, listen, and discuss things respectfully. Best of luck, man.


----------



## Charlie Foxtrot 3rd

Been married 20 years but it would’ve ended a few years ago if not for couples counselling, only needed a few sessions, 4 I think but it helped. Although I was hesitant to let some douchefag therapist into our relationship, I’m glad I did. I learned some stuff. I’m not trying to tell you what to do like your dad or whatever but having someone mediate our conversations and stop them from turning into a turd wrapped in burnt hair helped immensely.


----------



## BusinessMan

I appreciate what both of the previous replies say but, jeez I can’t make a wrong “footing” around her. If I make a political joke, get upset, about something, or anything the like she’ll just get offended and then give me the silent treatment, hold a grudge or etc etc. I hate turning to the forums for this stuff but I’m at my wits end. Thanks to the bros that replied btws


----------



## Charlie Foxtrot 3rd

Man, we didn’t talk for 3 and a half weeks, NOT A WORD, she was as cold as 10 cold things towards me. It was intense but you gotta work, keep hustling until there’s nothing to hustle for.


----------



## BusinessMan

Charlie Foxtrot 3rd said:


> Man, we didn’t talk for 3 and a half weeks, NOT A WORD, she was as cold as 10 cold things towards me. It was intense but you gotta work, keep hustling until there’s nothing to hustle for.



Like dude, I’ve been giving (what I feel like) 250% but they just don’t fudging stop. They don’t like that I play a lot of video games (despite tons of attention and love), the music I like, and that I try to play an instrument that doesn’t involve them. I’m tired of the constant asshurt. If I try to talk to them, they just get upset and try to give me the silent treatment BS despite trying to talk about it. 

Sorry most of this is just venting; I can’t talk to them about this and my friends are AWOL due to theCOVID situation.


----------



## Charlie Foxtrot 3rd

BusinessMan said:


> Like dude, I’ve been giving (what I feel like) 250% but they just don’t fudging stop. They don’t like that I play a lot of video games (despite tons of attention and love), the music I like, and that I try to play an instrument that doesn’t involve them. I’m tired of the constant asshurt. If I try to talk to them, they just get upset and try to give me the silent treatment BS despite trying to talk about it.
> 
> Sorry most of this is just venting; I can’t talk to them about this and my friends are AWOL due to theCOVID situation.



I get it mate, my Grandfather told me when I was a grasshopper that “women are cunts” and they are, I have 3 daughters and they show signs of being cunty, but he also said “they are worth the effort” and they are. From what you say I can tell you’re putting in the effort and you’re frustrated with the returns of those efforts. Venting is good, it helps. All I can say is it will either work or it won’t there is no in between, that’s where you are now “in between”, I was there and it’s definitely a ball ache.


----------



## SD83

More worried than sad... my cat has hardly eaten for two days. Did eat a bit yesterday, only a few treats today. I was at the vet yesterday... teeth are good, gums are good, stomach is good, no fever, no puking, no diahrea. He doesn't act any different, runs around, plays, hunts everything that moves, ate probably a few spiders and a fly tonight, likes his kuddles, everything seems fine, he just goes to any food that you give him, sniffs it, and goes away. 
A bit might be the weather, it has gotten pretty warm within the last few days and it's his first spring, a bit might actually be the stress from yesterdays journey to the vet (the car managed to get back to reasonable temperatures inside by the time I arrived there/back home), but still... another appointement later this day


----------



## High Plains Drifter

@ SD83... How's kitty doing?


----------



## lewis

i feel like my guitar career is over and has been for a while. Natural progression. Just sort of happened.

Band life hasnt felt fun for me for a while and people leaving the band yet again helped be the catalyst for me to finally conclude that Im probably going to hang it up. I dont have the energy or willingness anymore to do a 3rd rebuild of the bands lineup.

Started with writers block but quickly become much more.
on one hand its sad because its been everything to me for 15 years, on the other its a relief because as the only song writer in the band - i was under immense pressure at all times to produce the goods.

That and the way the world and social media has gotten, being told constantly you have to watch what you do, or say, has grated on me for the last time.

That pathetically fake "be professional at all times - dont share opinions online" nonsense has absolutely helped contribute to me being done completely with it all.

What the hell happened to this industry!?
Think back to Dimebag darrel doing whiskey shots, smoking joints, not giving a fuck what he said or how he acted, and just slayed guitar and had fun.

These days its all fake, souless, manufactured horse shit. Not only does it sap the fun and life out of music and you as a musician, but it actually gets you down and depressed.


----------



## Ralyks

First world problem: sharing my birthday with Jesus and the apocalypse.


----------



## Ralyks

Howard Finkel died


----------



## TedEH

At one point, there was supposed to be a show last night. I think it had been cancelled a while back for different reasons anyway, but obviously, that didn't happen either way. I miss shows.


----------



## soliloquy

I'm just disappointed. In everything around me, but mostly in myself. Life is a bitch, I fully get that. Yet I tried really hard to not let it be. I always strive to make a world a better place, not only for myself, but others around me. Yet, time and again, someone, or something manages to knock me down, and further disrespect me. As such, I am finding myself questioning what the purpose of my pursuit of happiness? It seems every person around me is so morbidly depressed, weather they admit to it or not. Every relationship I've ever seen (aside from my parents), seems to be so flawed and broken. Where people just stay together for the sake of it, but there seems to be no real emotional connection between them. Often times, they confuse history/time together as the reason to be together, as that, alone, trumps any other reason. 

its translating to me that that is expected of reality. people are shit. humanity is shit. society is shit. Everyone is willing to obliterate things around them just to make themselves happy, at the expense of others around them. No honor, no integrity, no respect, or honesty.

I'm just perpetually disappointing in myself, and the world around me. I'm not suicidal or anything, but I'm just wondering what the purpose of this all is? to constantly be disappointed, till you die?


----------



## Demiurge

^I can relate to a lot of this. With all this lockdown bullshit, it's hard not to take stock of things in somewhat of a negative light to where it's difficult to see the point in everything. In life, we have our obligations and our so-called "pursuit of happiness", and especially now it feels like the former has completely routed the latter. It feels like everybody else takes everything and the moments one gets for themselves, they're too tired, pissed-off, or sick to really make anything of it. Right now, I can only hope to gain perspective to re-evaluate things.


----------



## soliloquy

Demiurge said:


> ^I can relate to a lot of this. With all this lockdown bullshit, it's hard not to take stock of things in somewhat of a negative light to where it's difficult to see the point in everything. In life, we have our obligations and our so-called "pursuit of happiness", and especially now it feels like the former has completely routed the latter. It feels like everybody else takes everything and the moments one gets for themselves, they're too tired, pissed-off, or sick to really make anything of it. Right now, I can only hope to gain perspective to re-evaluate things.



The thing that is making me question my entire life stances is the actions of my partner through an affair. Its got me questioning everything, and making me wonder why am i fighting when this seems to be the final straw for me? Humanity really does suck, and it seems that those who act selfish are always willing to destroy those who act self-less. 

I get victim mentality and all. And that is not my intention here. I'm not saying 'poor me', but just why is humanity so shit? It seemed that out of all my friends, and co-workers, I some how, was the only one, living life blissfully, till this came to light. And now, I can relate to each and every person around me. Maybe this is what I deserve for being so naive.

maybe there is no such thing as happiness, but just how much bullshit one can tolerate to call it a day, and repeat it again over and over. 

and i'm also further disappointed in myself that I can no longer be that 'mr positive' that my friends expected me to be my entire life. I always was able to spin things around for them and make them believe in another day/week/month/year to keep fighting...but now, i got nothing. nihilism seems to prevail, and I'm just finding everything pointless.

I admit that my way of dealing with issues has always been that of an escapist. So maybe i've escaped my life far too long, and now its hitting me in the head.


----------



## Demiurge

Of course, when bad shit happens, you want to look for stability and it's tough realizing that this stability doesn't exist when everyone has their shit. Maybe the problem is just that- even though our society trumpets notions of individualism, we often find ourselves leveraging our emotional well-being with other people.


----------



## soliloquy

Its almost 3 years since Chris Cornell died.
I'm more sad now than when he initially died. I always had a lot of respect for him, and enjoyed some of his work, but for whatever reason, I never got into his work extensively till postmortem. 

Though I am happy that part of what I miss in Chris Cornell, I can sort of find in Ian Thornley of Big Wreck.


----------



## lewis

my eldest daughter (4) is really missing both school, friends and even other relatives.
Bless her. Feel so sorry for them because they dont understand the situation. They just have the feelings but dont know why.


----------



## p0ke

lewis said:


> my eldest daughter (4) is really missing both school, friends and even other relatives.
> Bless her. Feel so sorry for them because they dont understand the situation. They just have the feelings but dont know why.



Same here. My stepson (9) basically acts as if the whole thing is a personal punishment for him. And my daughter (4 in a couple of weeks) really misses both her grandmoms and keeps asking why we can't go swimming... I really hope the worst will be over by summer so we can at least hit the beach and stuff like that.


----------



## Church2224

I had a great relationship with my new girlfriend. I was going to her place one a week, called and/or texted her every day. We were making plans to go on trips after this virus passed by, hell the last night I was there she made me dinner and we had drinks and I spent the night. I felt like I finally found some one...

Then her grandmother got cancer. My girl was seeing her and visiting her, we still spent time together and talked to each other.... then her Grandmother had surgery last Monday and I got one text from her that her grandmother was fine...and that was it. I have not heard from her, talked to her, ect. Tried calling her, no response, tried texted her, nothing.. I have not heard from her in a week....

Idk what is going on, I feel heart broken....


----------



## High Plains Drifter

Man... seriously sorry ^^^. That's fukin rough. If you guys had a good thing then let her do her thing right now. Show her you respect her by not clinging... not at all suggesting that you are... just sayin. She needs some space for whatever reason(s) and tbh I would think that in time she'll be back in touch with you. Just make sure to leave her alone for the time being. Between maybe her g-ma's needs and this whole virus thing... it's a lotta new stuff for her. If this is a parting of the ways then nothing's gonna help too much short term... one day at a time, man. Regardless, Be well.


----------



## redkombat

I got dumped by my 3 girlfriends. literally everyone in the town I live in is retarded and thus we don't get along. covid19 had made 1/3 of all medial workers nationally unemployed and I fell victim to hours being cut. my entire state is about to declare bankruptcy and become a tourist getaway for nyc with all of our local laws changing. local government is taking too much power from the people. I had to watch my friend die the other night. 2 of my friends have committed suicide this week. and worse of all I cant get my interface to work right now so I have been stuck playing mostly synths when im suppose to be working on a new album. i think my roommates might kick me out soon. idk life


----------



## Church2224

High Plains Drifter said:


> Man... seriously sorry ^^^. That's fukin rough. If you guys had a good thing then let her do her thing right now. Show her you respect her by not clinging... not at all suggesting that you are... just sayin. She needs some space for whatever reason(s) and tbh I would think that in time she'll be back in touch with you. Just make sure to leave her alone for the time being. Between maybe her g-ma's needs and this whole virus thing... it's a lotta new stuff for her. If this is a parting of the ways then nothing's gonna help too much short term... one day at a time, man. Regardless, Be well.



Thanks man. I think at this point it will be best to give her some space, which I already have given her a lot of. I am taking a female friend's advice though on this matter. If, or when, she decides to come back and talk to me, there is going to be a serious conversation that this is not an acceptable way to treat people. I am doing my best to cope with it all things considered, but it still hurts...


----------



## Metropolis

Metropolis said:


> Really on the fence of leaving my current band where I've been playing last six years.
> 
> Then to the reasons... I don't think I have good "musical relationship" whith any of the other four guys. We don't jam at all (we don't play music that is really born in that way, but it should still happen from time to time), or make new ideas together just by playing our instruments. Which doesn't just feel very natural.
> 
> The music itself has become somewhat "stiff" and always sounding the same, because songs are mostly written by our other guitarist using Guitar Pro.
> 
> We recorded an EP last year, and I don't think it sounded good enough partly regarding to other players skill level and dedication what they do as a player. It doesn't always sound musical enough, "glued", or well thought in individual level if I get into nyances like this. There is just something, lack of feel and enough practice with some of the guys doing. Generally what we do there is some slacking in areas which I find very important. For example interest in gear is partly a way to sounding better and searching for it, there isn't enough of that either.
> 
> I took the part of recording three out of five instruments, planned all that and participated as kind of producer in the studio, and worked sort of as quality inspector for the time. Planned almost the whole release of it and everything what includes in releasing songs in independent releases. It was lot of work and felt exhausting mentally because others were not very interested in this part of making music, which is recording for example. EP didn't come out too bad, but this is just the way I feel and make observations.
> 
> If you're not interested enough in that part of making music, it doesn't carry really far nowadays. That's just the way it is.
> 
> Any advice, because this is my first "real band" where we are recording and playing gigs locally.



Four months later I got out from the band, maybe it was better for everyone. Lugged my gear to home today, and now I'm annoying neighbours with power amp and 2x12" cab. I don't really know how to feel about this, it's just weird emptiness.

Another journey towards new adventures and disappointments has begun...


----------



## Merrekof

Metropolis said:


> Four months later I got out from the band, maybe it was better for everyone. Lugged my gear to home today, and now I'm annoying neighbours with power amp and 2x12" cab. I don't really know how to feel about this, it's just weird emptiness.
> 
> Another journey towards new adventures and disappointments has begun...


Dude, I did the same thing 2 months ago. I miss the band, making music, jamming,.. sometimes but it also feels good to not have responsebilities towards the bandmembers. I have my family that takes up most of my free time anyway..


----------



## Church2224

I found out today that a branch manager in my company, who I knew when he was an account manager, lost his one year old daughter last week....

Reasons how she passed I do not know, but what the hell why do people have to lose their children when they are so young? And during these trying times no less? The company is being compassionate and helping out, in addition have been planting pink dogwoods in memorial (we are a landscaping company), but still that is rough...


----------



## Xaios

My great uncle has been having a rough go of it the past few weeks. It started with progressive but rapid loss of vision. His eyes were found to be in good shape, so the doctors figured the problem must be in his brain somewhere. Then, more recently, he's had difficulty responding in conversations, even though he seems to be taking in information.

We finally got a a diagnosis today, and it is unfortunately quite grim. He's been diagnosed with Creutzfeldt-Jacob disease. It's a prion disease, and it's terminal. The doctors told my aunt that he has somewhere between 2 months to 2 years to live. By all accounts, it does not seem to be a pleasant way to die, so at this point all we can do is pray for relief and hope the doctors do all they can to make him comfortable in his final days on this earth.


----------



## Xaios

Xaios said:


> He's been diagnosed with Creutzfeldt-Jacob disease. It's a prion disease, and it's terminal. The doctors told my aunt that he has somewhere between 2 months to 2 years to live.


Unfortunately he passed yesterday. So much for 2 months, but at least he didn't suffer for long. Rest in peace, uncle Don.


----------



## watson503

Xaios said:


> Unfortunately he passed yesterday. So much for 2 months, but at least he didn't suffer for long. Rest in peace, uncle Don.


My condolences to you and your family,man. May your uncle rest in peace.


----------



## High Plains Drifter

Condolences, Xaios.


----------



## possumkiller

I have to take a massive dump but I'm stuck on the bus on my way to get my kid from school and I won't have time to stop and shit for about an hour


----------



## TedEH

Somehow whenever I try to have just a casual conversation with anyone, it turns into a debate/argument and I can't figure out where it keeps going wrong. As soon as I present an opinion, all hell breaks loose. Leaves me frustratingly unable to just have a conversation with anyone.


----------



## jaxadam

TedEH said:


> Somehow whenever I try to have just a casual conversation with anyone, it turns into a debate/argument and I can't figure out where it keeps going wrong. As soon as I present an opinion, all hell breaks loose. Leaves me frustratingly unable to just have a conversation with anyone.



Do you see the common denominator?


----------



## TedEH

Outside of "me", not really. I know that I'm very opinionated, and I like to discuss things. I feel like I know the conversation has already gone wrong as soon as I end up saying "I never said that was a problem necessarily, I'm just making an observation, or offering another angle".

Someone told me a while back that I have an attitude of "needing to be right", which I don't think is a fair assessment.

Someone a few hours ago said to me "why didn't you just say that you agreed?" ....because I didn't agree? Why would I just be agreeable for no reason? I'm not actively trying to argue with people, but what good does it do to just agree with everything? How do you have a meaningful discussion without more than one view point?

I mean, I spend enough time posting on this forum - I think there's evidence enough here that I can be convinced, I can change my mind, I can agree to things when it makes sense to do so. I can be open to ideas that aren't my own.

But as soon as I challenge anything lately, it's taken as aggressive. It's fine to have different opinions. I mean, it's fine to argue, even. An argument doesn't have to be taken as hostile. Healthy discussion, IMO, can and does involve differing viewpoints.


----------



## Ordacleaphobia

TedEH said:


> Someone told me a while back that I have an attitude of "needing to be right", which I don't think is a fair assessment.



lol, the delicious irony in this line was too free to pass up.

I know what you mean though. It could be a word choice thing; people really dislike being challenged, so if you word your counterpoint as though you were assuming their point to be correct, it tends to be better received. Which sounds passive aggressive to me, but it does work.

"Oh that's interesting, I had no idea. I thought for sure that they had determined that those widgets were defective and got recalled like a week ago. When did you hear that, is this a new development?" over "No I don't think so- those got recalled. They were defective." 

Could also be the case that you may be continuing the discussion longer than it needs to be. If person A has their opinion and person B has their opinion and both have their heels dug in, it's a waste of time to continue trying to move either one of them. If you bring up your point and it gets waved off, it may be the move to just drop it. Even if someone's wrong, they're not going to think they're wrong, so hearing someone talk about how wrong they are is really just going to irritate them. If your first 'shot' doesn't really get the type of engagement you were looking for, it may be best to just let sleeping dogs lie. 

tl;dr: Pick your battles, even in situations where it really doesn't feel like it should be a 'battle,' because anything involving people always is.


----------



## TedEH

I get what you mean. It's more like I don't realize I'm in a "battle" until too many shots have already been fired.

Even now, I edited the word "but" out of that last sentence, out of paranoia that it'll be taken as argumentative.

I really hate having to craft every word in a conversation to make sure nobody could possibly think I disagree with them. Because, frankly, I do disagree sometimes, and as you said - people really dislike being challenged. I think that's really unfortunate. There's nothing wrong with disagreeing.

It makes it really difficult to just have any casual conversation. I've always worked under the assumption that in most cases you could assume that between friends or colleagues, or without any reason to think otherwise, you could trust that there's no malicious or aggressive intent behind anything said in a casual conversation. I don't think it's fair to be stressed any time I want to express a differing viewpoint or a passing observation - especially in a time where people are already isolated enough.

It's insanely frustrating to basically feel unable to talk.


----------



## Ordacleaphobia

TedEH said:


> I get what you mean. It's more like I don't realize I'm in a "battle" until too many shots have already been fired.
> 
> Even now, I edited the word "but" out of that last sentence, out of paranoia that it'll be taken as argumentative.
> 
> I really hate having to craft every word in a conversation to make sure nobody could possibly think I disagree with them. Because, frankly, I do disagree sometimes, and as you said - people really dislike being challenged. I think that's really unfortunate. There's nothing wrong with disagreeing.
> 
> It makes it really difficult to just have any casual conversation. I've always worked under the assumption that in most cases you could assume that between friends or colleagues, or without any reason to think otherwise, you could trust that there's no malicious or aggressive intent behind anything said in a casual conversation. I don't think it's fair to be stressed any time I want to express a differing viewpoint or a passing observation - especially in a time where people are already isolated enough.
> 
> It's insanely frustrating to basically feel unable to talk.



Well there's a difference between disagreement and challenging somebody. 
A disagreement is a bit easier to navigate- if you're talking about something that's an opinionated issue (no provable right/wrong), then that's your easy out to throw your stance out there (context permitting, obviously don't be the "rap sucks" guy when it's just 3 dudes talking about their love of rap music, you know?), and then you have a get out of jail free card if it doesn't land. If it doesn't land, just don't push it. Focus on the aspects of the conversation (if any) that you're on their side on. The pivot to common ground is a great conversational ejector seat. 

Challenging someone usually comes into play once facts (or "facts") get involved. If someone says "COVID-19 is an extremely lethal disease, if you go out for spring break this year you'll probably die," you _*could*_ state that it isn't, and that if you're in the age demographic for 'spring break' that you'd be _*extremely*_ likely to be fine- but whoever just made that statement 100% doesn't give a _*shit*_ about whatever you have to say about it. Think flat earthers. Just telling them that they're wrong and showing them the proof doesn't work. You need to have a reason to believe that this person wants to hear what you have to say or is open to being corrected, etc- and personally, if I don't have that, I just assume they don't want to hear it. Which is probably why my friends are all assholes- none of us are shy about slapping each other down and making an event out of it, and that pulls us together because we can't be like that with other people. 

People are whack, yo.


----------



## TedEH

People _are _whack. And it drives me nuts cause it's causing issues at my job.

I tried to google how to disagree in a non-antagonistic way, and a lot of the advice sums up to "just don't disagree!". Sometimes literally. Sometimes as a roundabout way to say "try to focus on the areas of agreement first". There's a lot of advice out there about trying to be more indirect - instead of saying "no, that's not true", saying "is that really true? I'm not sure". A lot of that kind of stuff is already how I speak though.

One thing maybe I'm getting wrong is saying "but". Like my last comment, I originally typed out as "I get what you mean but it's" which I don't think would be received the same way. I think people append "that doesn't matter" after "but".

So what I'll be trying to say is "I understand what you said and it has merit - let's consider another angle as well", but it's instead read as "I understand what you said and it has merit - but that doesn't matter because let's consider my more important angle".

Maybe I'm wrong to assume that being friends or colleagues would default people to assuming the best intent from whatever you say.


----------



## Ordacleaphobia

Hah, yeah- we used to throw that one around too. "Right, right, you're right, totally- but here's why you're wrong." 
Focusing on agreement and being indirect is good advice, though. "Are you sure?" is definitely a favorite. Giving people an opportunity to conceded that they may be wrong without admitting they're wrong- or projecting your disagreement onto some ambiguous 'other' (so that they aren't disagreeing with _you_, they're disagreeing with _them _or _some guy_) both help. "Oh, you probably didn't see this," or "I thought the same thing for the longest time until someone showed me X," "There's actually a couple different schools of thought on that, what do you think about..."

I'd agree that it's a good assumption to expect your friends to hold your words in good faith (they are your friends, after all), but personally, I would definitely not extend that to colleagues. Everyone's workplace culture is different, but from what I've experienced so far, even though you spend a lot of time with these people, you don't know them on that same level- you guys are getting paid to be in the same building as each other, after all. 

Actually, a good example might be politics. If you've ever scoped out the politics board here, you'll find a decent amount of shit flinging, a decent amount of substantive conversation, and a lot of very strong opinions. Most of those opinions tend to lean left, and as a guy who tends to lean a little to the right, I'm in the minority around here and as a result, need to be mindful of when I speak up and to what degree I do so- otherwise folks are going to get irritated, I'll get irritated, and things just get messy. My work is the same way. I'm surrounded by very left-leaning people in my office- who are usually very vocal about their opinions; I would imagine because they've observed that they're in good company. As a result, I'm just going to shut up while the others are ranting and raving about how dumb the republicans are unless someone specifically asks for my opinion on something- since my against-the-grain stance in these conversations would definitely be unwelcome. I just kind of apply that to everything. I kind of get the reputation of 'the quiet guy' because of it, but it's better than something negative.

I dunno man; I wish I could help. You might just have some bummer coworkers.


----------



## TedEH

The politics board I think is an interesting case - or a lot of the off-topic stuff here - since there's a sort of expectation for disagreement and strong opinions. There's a lot of stuff that happens in some of those threads that wouldn't fly anywhere else on the forum. I find that people are more willing to accept a more blunt or harsh style of conversation in those threads because of that premise.

I get the "quiet guy" thing since that's the approach I tend to use with some groups (like family).

I went back and re-read the conversation that I had that led my original posting and I think the tone was not as heated as I interpreted it to be at the time, which again might be part of what I'm doing wrong. Maybe _I'm_ the one who is turning conversations into something they don't need to be by acting adversarial.


----------



## High Plains Drifter

Don't even like posting alongside of actual valuable SSO members but sometimes/ very often I find that writing helps me to process my emotions. 

Sigh... The older I get the more saddened I am... at who I am, the life I've led, and just generally speaking... I'm defeated. I used to be able to crawl up and out of the hole, even if just briefly. But in the past few years, I've seriously reflected upon myself and my life and I hate that the only consistent is that I'm a fucking looser. I always have been but maybe the younger I was, the more resilient I was. Alone with my thoughts... I can't hide nor rise above. I think that the saddest part of being a loser is the realization that I'm just not a likeable person. That's def a wake-up call... knowing that no matter how much I've ever been a good dude, wanted to help, etc... that I'm just someone that has no value cause I have nothing that anyone wants. I guess if there's any "good" about this it's that I'm finally learning to just shut up and disregard the enthusiasm to interact with others. Doesn't exactly feel good but the fewer useless fuck-ups, the nicer the world is

Being a fat, poor, ugly kid certainly never helped anything. I wasn't exactly bullied... just ignored for the most part or laughed at by the cute girls and popular kids. But it sucks that it never really changed. Even into my adult years, I tried so hard to look better and to be healthy and optimistic and selfless. But I wound up expending so much of my energy into worrying about other things/ people, that I just neglected myself altogether... which I guess was easy because I didn't have to confront the failure that I was. It's almost been like a disability I guess... not to take away from anyone else that is actually mentally/ physically disabled. But man... that shit gets to you... it becomes you. You eventually succumb because it's all you know. 

Thought that getting this out might help a little... but it's not so no need to go on


----------



## jaxadam

High Plains Drifter said:


> Don't even like posting alongside of actual valuable SSO members but sometimes/ very often I find that writing helps me to process my emotions.
> 
> Sigh... The older I get the more saddened I am... at who I am, the life I've led, and just generally speaking... I'm defeated. I used to be able to crawl up and out of the hole, even if just briefly. But in the past few years, I've seriously reflected upon myself and my life and I hate that the only consistent is that I'm a fucking looser. I always have been but maybe the younger I was, the more resilient I was. Alone with my thoughts... I can't hide nor rise above. I think that the saddest part of being a loser is the realization that I'm just not a likeable person. That's def a wake-up call... knowing that no matter how much I've ever been a good dude, wanted to help, etc... that I'm just someone that has no value cause I have nothing that anyone wants. I guess if there's any "good" about this it's that I'm finally learning to just shut up and disregard the enthusiasm to interact with others. Doesn't exactly feel good but the fewer useless fuck-ups, the nicer the world is
> 
> Being a fat, poor, ugly kid certainly never helped anything. I wasn't exactly bullied... just ignored for the most part or laughed at by the cute girls and popular kids. But it sucks that it never really changed. Even into my adult years, I tried so hard to look better and to be healthy and optimistic and selfless. But I wound up expending so much of my energy into worrying about other things/ people, that I just neglected myself altogether... which I guess was easy because I didn't have to confront the failure that I was. It's almost been like a disability I guess... not to take away from anyone else that is actually mentally/ physically disabled. But man... that shit gets to you... it becomes you. You eventually succumb because it's all you know.
> 
> Thought that getting this out might help a little... but it's not so no need to go on



You spend the first half of your life worrying about what everyone thinks, and the second half realizing it never really mattered.

I wish I could extend to you the power of positive thought. Just the act of telling yourself you’re good, happy, and valuable everyday will transform you.


----------



## Ordacleaphobia

Everyone is their own worst critic, and that's putting it mildly.
I was blessed with terrible skin problems in high school that absolutely obliterated any semblance of an ego I had built up by that point. I'm still ruthless to myself over my appearance; but the funny thing? The girl I was chasing after in high school, but was too cowardly to make a move on because I was convinced she'd laugh at me because of how terrible I looked compared to how outrageously attractive she was? Come to find out she was into me the whole time. It was obvious to everyone _but_ me; I was too busy obsessing over personal flaws to notice.

I'm not good with people, can't really make friends- everyone I know are friends of friends I've had since I was a teenager, I have a lot of unpopular, often-mocked hobbies, and despite doing 'okay' for my age, I'm definitely not headed anywhere plush in life. There are days where I absolutely _*smash*_ myself over these things. But, there are more days where...I just own it. It's who I am. And while most folks won't really dig on who I am and what I do / have done, I'm sure there are some that do. It'll probably take a while to find them, and there probably won't be many, but when I do, it'll be great. You can't judge _yourself_ by _others'_ benchmarks for 'success' or 'likability' just because it's some nebulous standard- people are complex, and what makes others happy won't necessarily make you happy. Fuck 'em. You are not your fuckin' khakis.


----------



## TedEH

I don't want to elaborate on anything, but having one of those kinds of days that really wears at me.
It starts with a long work day that, while not terrible, didn't really go as well as I'd hoped - and then is punctuated with learning some things that, again not terrible, I mostly just wish I hadn't seen. The kind of day where if you think about it too much, nothing is all that terrible, but it still doesn't feel like you amount to very much.


----------



## High Plains Drifter

jaxadam said:


> You spend the first half of your life worrying about what everyone thinks, and the second half realizing it never really mattered.
> 
> I wish I could extend to you the power of positive thought. Just the act of telling yourself you’re good, happy, and valuable everyday will transform you.



I was so disconnected from everything the day that I was feeling those dark thoughts, that I completely forgot I even posted. Thank you very much for your reply and to Ordacleaphobia. Support... even on a forum, does lift ones spirits sometimes. Too bad I was so low that I blanked on even posting... sigh. I don't think that any of my friends or family ( including my wife) even realizes that I have thoughts like what I expressed here, as I'm a pretty upbeat dude in real life. I guess sometimes the negative feelings just build up and suddenly- Boom! It just pours out. I'm indeed fortunate to have had such a wild and insanely interesting life so far... and to have wound up with such an awesome wife as I have. My friends also are pretty damned caring and decent as well as the small bit of family that I have left. Never thought I'd ever be married ( especially to someone so beautiful, strong, and compassionate) and I never thought I'd own my own home... not in a million years. For those things and I guess for the fact that I'm a pretty okay person, I should always count my blessings. Thanks again for the support. It really does mean a lot.


----------



## George81CZ

I'm sad right now because I planned some brickwork around the house and it seems to be rainy all day long 
No, in all seriousness, I'm sad because my band had to perform on some music festivals this summer and they were cancelled.
But every bad is good for something, so we can be closed in rehearsal room and make new music.


----------



## BusinessMan

I’m sad because I don’t really seem to enjoy anything anymore. Just the endless toil until we die.


----------



## ImNotAhab

BusinessMan said:


> I’m sad because I don’t really seem to enjoy anything anymore. Just the endless toil until we die.



Jesus man I feel you. I get a case of this now again. Sometimes its hard to motivate yourself in such a crappy place and everything seems just tarnished. While feeling that exasperation it's worth try things that are related to what you like but a little different.
Dig beers? Maybe try some weird stuff like stouts or beers from a particular country or attle (Trappist ales for the win)
You like guitar? Maybe try some new tunings. Or even pick up bass. 
Order food that is unfamiliar.

Another thing I also dig is video games, big open world stuff like Skyrim is great for some escapism, especially when the world is in such a state.

However, know you better than me and I don't want any of this to come off condescending. If any of these run the risk of being destructive or unhealthy for you I apologize. These are just things I find helpful sometimes. Hopefully you will find something enjoyable or at least refreshing to make the drudgery a little more palatable.


----------



## BusinessMan

ImNotAhab said:


> Jesus man I feel you. I get a case of this now again. Sometimes its hard to motivate yourself in such a crappy place and everything seems just tarnished. While feeling that exasperation it's worth try things that are related to what you like but a little different.
> Dig beers? Maybe try some weird stuff like stouts or beers from a particular country or attle (Trappist ales for the win)
> You like guitar? Maybe try some new tunings. Or even pick up bass.
> Order food that is unfamiliar.
> 
> Another thing I also dig is video games, big open world stuff like Skyrim is great for some escapism, especially when the world is in such a state.
> 
> However, know you better than me and I don't want any of this to come off condescending. If any of these run the risk of being destructive or unhealthy for you I apologize. These are just things I find helpful sometimes. Hopefully you will find something enjoyable or at least refreshing to make the drudgery a little more palatable.



Ya I’ve been playing the guitar and video games a lot just to pass time. Been drinking a lot of different beers lately so I’m already on that one lol


----------



## Seabeast2000

BusinessMan said:


> I’m sad because I don’t really seem to enjoy anything anymore. Just the endless toil until we die.



Take a spontaneous day/overnight trip, don't be shy just pick a direction and see where you wind up. Lots of cool and interesting things outside of the daily grind to see and appreciate. Don't overplan, or just don't plan outside of filling up your tank.


----------



## p0ke

BusinessMan said:


> I’m sad because I don’t really seem to enjoy anything anymore. Just the endless toil until we die.



I feel this way from time to time too. It's a feeling that comes and goes, and whatever happy thought or activity can pull me out of it. But I never know what will work beforehand, it just happens when it happens.


----------



## High Plains Drifter

Wife told me today that her best friend of many many years ( one of my "best friends" too by association) is having a serious talk with her husband tonight about his drinking. He's also a dear friend to me although it's not like we're "close" in a typical sense. He's a friend to me b/c his wife is my wife's best friend. But the several times that we've all gotten together, he wasn't drunk or even drinking. I just had no idea that they we're having this issue. But yeah... apparently she's at her wits end and giving him an ultimatum. Just sucks cause I thought that they were a team... thought that they were like my wife and I... like best friends. I feel bad for both of them and I know how hard it is to kick booze. I don't even think it happens successfully without intervention of some kind. Shit... it's what killed my mother. Idk... just sad. Makes me sad to know that they may be going their separate ways.


----------



## mongey

RIP Malik B


----------



## KnightBrolaire

oh no bby wat is u doin


----------



## narad

I was diagnosed with cancer today. I'm 37 :'(


----------



## High Plains Drifter

@narad I'm truly sorry to hear this and I sincerely hope that recovery/ remission will be imminent. Please vent/ update as you feel inclined. Much support, brother.


----------



## MaxOfMetal

narad said:


> I was diagnosed with cancer today. I'm 37 :'(





Can 2020 get any fucking worse? 

I'm sorry dude.


----------



## Lorcan Ward

narad said:


> I was diagnosed with cancer today. I'm 37 :'(



no way dude : (


----------



## StevenC

narad said:


> I was diagnosed with cancer today. I'm 37 :'(


I don't want narad to die, but if I'm gonna get bequeathed upon, I'd like to be bequeathed a drum kit or a signed photo of actor LeVar Burton. Those would be my top two wishes. My third wish would be a million wishes. But I'd just use them all on a million signed photos of actor LeVar Burton.


----------



## KnightBrolaire

StevenC said:


> I don't want narad to die, but if I'm gonna get bequeathed upon, I'd like to be bequeathed a drum kit or a signed photo of actor LeVar Burton. Those would be my top two wishes. My third wish would be a million wishes. But I'd just use them all on a million signed photos of actor LeVar Burton.


dibs on his ken lawrence explorer


----------



## narad

The cancer staging is going to be based on some tests done today, so you know, fingers-crossed it winds up early stage and gives me a decent prognosis. Surgery soon though regardless. Hey, maybe I'll actually have some time to practice?



StevenC said:


> I don't want narad to die, but if I'm gonna get bequeathed upon, I'd like to be bequeathed a drum kit or a signed photo of actor LeVar Burton. Those would be my top two wishes. My third wish would be a million wishes. But I'd just use them all on a million signed photos of actor LeVar Burton.



If I ge a make-a-wish I'll make it so that you can meet LeVar Burton!



KnightBrolaire said:


> dibs on his ken lawrence explorer



Considered. We're going to have to do a thorough background analysis of how much you've liked my jokes.


----------



## StevenC

narad said:


> If I ge a make-a-wish I'll make it so that you can meet LeVar Burton!


YOU CAN"T DISAPPOINT A PHOTO



KnightBrolaire said:


> dibs on his ken lawrence explorer


Good call, I'll take the Parker and UV.


----------



## jaxadam

narad said:


> The cancer staging is going to be based on some tests done today, so you know, fingers-crossed it winds up early stage and gives me a decent prognosis. Surgery soon though regardless. Hey, maybe I'll actually have some time to practice?



Sorry to hear man. I've seen a lot of young people get hit with some really hard shit.


----------



## narad

jaxadam said:


> Sorry to hear man. I've seen a lot of young people get hit with some really hard shit.



Oh yea, I've been watching those riots too ;-)


----------



## Mathemagician

narad said:


> I was diagnosed with cancer today. I'm 37 :'(



I am so fucking sorry.


----------



## Ordacleaphobia

Whaaaat the fuck, man, I dunno what to say. Hopefully the tests come back looking good. The surgery too- they can do some pretty crazy stuff these days.
And if you're stuck inside for a while, dial up the shitposting; could really use a laugh these days.


----------



## narad

Just a small bump -- results of further testing are in and looks like we caught it pretty early, and no indication yet of any spread. Surgery soon. So maybe holding off on the gear bequeathments for now.


----------



## TedEH

The project I've been working on just got cancelled, so everything I've been doing since about June has been a waste of time. I'm not out of a job or anything, but certain elements have taken a lot out of me, and it was basically for nothing.


----------



## thebeesknees22

oof that sucks. I have coworkers that have worked on projects for 6-9 months and got cut at the last minute. I myself have had shots cut all the time, but never wholesale sequences or projects. Sucks to not be able to show the work on a reel or anything though. 

..and that's why I'm numb and dead on the inside now. It's just a paycheck to buy goodies at the end of the day even after all the long hours. lol


----------



## TheBolivianSniper

narad said:


> Just a small bump -- results of further testing are in and looks like we caught it pretty early, and no indication yet of any spread. Surgery soon. So maybe holding off on the gear bequeathments for now.



hell yeah brother we love to see it, you got this, kill that fucker


----------



## TheBolivianSniper

Well I fuckin did it. I listed my Prestige on Reverb.

My saxes need work to the tune of $150 and my checking doesn't like that very much. I can live without it I guess. 







damn


----------



## StevenC

narad said:


> Just a small bump -- results of further testing are in and looks like we caught it pretty early, and no indication yet of any spread. Surgery soon. So maybe holding off on the gear bequeathments for now.


And you're in Japan so presumably no fire sale to cover debilitating medical bills?


----------



## BlackMastodon

narad said:


> I was diagnosed with cancer today. I'm 37 :'(


So sorry to hear that dude, hoping the surgery goes well for you and we hear some good news!


----------



## Nicki

I had to meet up with one of my employees on mat leave last Saturday because we're clearing out our office for a reconfiguration thanks to our head office. Got a text on Tuesday saying that she got informed from her toddler swim class instructor that another member of the group had tested positive for the virus, which she may have been exposed to on Oct 5th. Since we were in close proximity to each other, I may have been exposed to the virus. She has not been tested yet so we don't know if she got the virus. So I go to get tested and get turned away. I was told that since I didn't come into direct contact with anyone who has tested positive for the virus, I can't be tested. Something about the test costing $130... I offered to pay for the test myself only to be told I can't. Even though I haven't had any symptoms, and neither have my wife and mother, we're isolating anyways.

I'm also out of an amp for the next few weeks. 

I sent my MT 15 in for repair of the common ground loop problem with these amps and I've also requested the master volume be swapped out for one with a linear taper. That amp has been out for repair for the last 3 weeks... Yesterday I turned on my 5150iii 50w EL34 and it started making a strange pop-hum-pop noise. I looked over the amp and found the plate of one of the power tubes heating up (and glowing bright red). Called up a tech and was told the tube is shorting so now I need to get a new pair of tubes and a bias done and hope to hell the screen resistors aren't bad. I can't take the amp to be repaired because we're isolating...


----------



## p0ke

My grandmother died of cancer the other day  She lived in Australia, so it's been roughly 10 years since I last saw her and I never had the chance to introduce my wife and daughter to her. I also won't be able to attend the funeral because of the covid situation. Well, tbh, it would've been too expensive anyway.
Anyway, all my grandparents are gone now...


----------



## Mathemagician

p0ke said:


> My grandmother died of cancer the other day  She lived in Australia, so it's been roughly 10 years since I last saw her and I never had the chance to introduce my wife and daughter to her. I also won't be able to attend the funeral because of the covid situation. Well, tbh, it would've been too expensive anyway.
> Anyway, all my grandparents are gone now...



My condolences. I’m sorry to hear that.


----------



## Carrion Rocket

I had to have a copy of my birth certificate to renew my driver's license and 90% of the information on it didn't match what I was told about my parents growing up. There's no father listed on it despite being told all my life who my father was (he did when I was 4 so I have no memories of him) and the mother is some woman who was always treated as a family friend.

I always had some suspensions about my family, but now I have even more questions which is gonna make this holiday season really awkward.


----------



## TedEH

If ever there was a good time to put dating on pause to focus on being happy without depending on other people, it's during a pandemic. But also pretty much any other time.


----------



## ImNotAhab

I miss Dillinger Escape Plan.


----------



## KnightBrolaire

someone local was selling a fryette fatbottom 4x12 and a vader 4x12 for 500$ each and I missed out on both because I was traveling


----------



## Jarmake

I was supposed to go out with my friends, make a campfire, fry some halloumi & sausages, drink some home alcohol beverages and celebrate my friends birthday tonight... Well, the bday-buddy apparently went there a bit early (4pm... We agreed to go for the night, something like 8pm onwards.) and when I was just about ready to go to the place we had in mind he sent me a message that he was going home now.

Alright, thanks for letting me know, mate. Would have gone there with couple of buddies as planned and found out that he's not there...

I guess I'll drink the home made raspberrywine and eat the chilimustard I made for him as a birthday present myself then. 

Oh well. Cancel every planned thing for tonight. Kalsarikänni it is!


----------



## Kaura

Just realised Fred Willard is dead. Maybe not the most recognized actor but he starred in some of my favorite films including American Pie 3 and Harold & Kumar.


----------



## TedEH

My car is in desperate need of some work, to the point of being unsafe to drive any more than absolutely necessary, but any garage that I trust to work on it is booked up for the next three weeks. So I might be out a car for a while.


----------



## possumkiller

TedEH said:


> My car is in desperate need of some work, to the point of being unsafe to drive any more than absolutely necessary, but any garage that I trust to work on it is booked up for the next three weeks. So I might be out a car for a while.


Youtube videos and car forums man. Learn how to do your own work. It is a lot cheaper and you will get to know your car inside and out.


----------



## TedEH

I'm not mechanically inclined enough, nor have the tools or space, to do this kind of job, unfortunately. Anything more complicated than breaks, I'd rather have it done by someone who knows what they're doing. The cost is going to suck, but my priority is having it done right so that the vehicle is safe.


----------



## possumkiller

TedEH said:


> I'm not mechanically inclined enough, nor have the tools or space, to do this kind of job, unfortunately. Anything more complicated than breaks, I'd rather have it done by someone who knows what they're doing. The cost is going to suck, but my priority is having it done right so that the vehicle is safe.


Idk man. When I barely had enough money to eat, I suddenly found myself able to learn to be mechanically inclined enough and that I had friends or relatives with tools and space. I went from not being confident I put the oil in the right hole to having the front half of my car lying in pieces on the floor and being confident I could get it back together before dinner time in about a week's time. 

I thought I was going to buy a "good" cheap used car and got a SAAB for $4kUSD hard currency. It soon earned the name SAAB story because everything on it was breaking one thing after another. I was struggling financially at the time and could not afford to pay a shop to fix a fancy foreign car, so I joined a forum and looked up videos and learned how to do it.

Even after things got better and I bought a new fangled computer powered car off the showroom floor, I still did all the maintenance myself because I don't trust other people to do it right.

What exactly is going on with your car?


----------



## possumkiller

I will also add that once you get the confidence in your ability, taking a car apart and putting it back together is relaxing and therapeutic.


----------



## TedEH

possumkiller said:


> What exactly is going on with your car?


Honestly, a whole bunch of things. It needs three bearings, two link kits, two control arms, and the breaks and rotors in the front. Also, there's a blown out speaker, but that's something I _can_ fix and is far from critical. Electrical stuff I can handle, but the more mechanic-y stuff doesn't come intuitively to me. There's no real excuse for it, but the car got pretty badly neglected in the last year or so. I'm not about to attempt all that when my mechanical knowledge stops at "I can change disk breaks, if someone's giving me a hand".


----------



## possumkiller

Well honestly, Ted, I'm surprised you manage to get anything done with that sort of attitude.


----------



## TedEH

I can't tell if you're kidding/trolling or not, but in either case it doesn't make me feel any better about being stuck without a car. And no, not just everyone can learn to build a whole car in a week.


----------



## MFB

Cars also aren't exactly something you can try to fix yourself, and then bring to someone if you screw it up/can't finish it. You'd have to pay someone to tow it to the shop, then pay for your own mess on top of what was already wrong with it, which if they wanted to pay for it to be repairs then they would have brought it to the shop to begin with.


----------



## MaxOfMetal

TedEH said:


> Honestly, a whole bunch of things. It needs three bearings, two link kits, two control arms, and the breaks and rotors in the front. Also, there's a blown out speaker, but that's something I _can_ fix and is far from critical. Electrical stuff I can handle, but the more mechanic-y stuff doesn't come intuitively to me. There's no real excuse for it, but the car got pretty badly neglected in the last year or so. I'm not about to attempt all that when my mechanical knowledge stops at "I can change disk breaks, if someone's giving me a hand".



What make and model? Any local auto clubs? Even if not something "fancy" or "unique" just about every brand and era has a following of folks that love wrenching on them. Maybe not for free, but a case of beer and good meal goes a long way. 

Nothing you're describing is an all too awful job, perhaps tedious depending on tools.


----------



## TedEH

It's a really standard Ford Escape. I don't know of any clubs like that around here - I wasn't aware that was a thing, so not even sure where to look for something like that.

Realistically the thing that frustrates me at the moment is that every place I've contacted so far is booked solid for 3 week with people changing their tires for the winter because we have a law that you need to have winter-certified tires before Dec 10th to stay road legal. I can manage the cost element - it'll suck, but I can handle it. Having no wheels for a month is the rough part. I have a lead on someone whose car I might be able to borrow though - a friend of mine has their car just sitting because their leg is broken and they can't drive it. And about 50% of my driving around is to help them out anyway. So it might not be so bad.


----------



## MFB

Picked up one of my SGs for the first time in a while today, and granted I had been practicing bass earlier, but holy shit have my guitar skills gone down the drain as my bass skills go up. I'm overshooting strings and frets entirely because of the scale difference between the two, and I also use different picks from string thickness, so I was picking a bit harder and hitting extra strings when I didn't mean to.


----------



## MaxOfMetal

TedEH said:


> It's a really standard Ford Escape. I don't know of any clubs like that around here - I wasn't aware that was a thing, so not even sure where to look for something like that.
> 
> Realistically the thing that frustrates me at the moment is that every place I've contacted so far is booked solid for 3 week with people changing their tires for the winter because we have a law that you need to have winter-certified tires before Dec 10th to stay road legal. I can manage the cost element - it'll suck, but I can handle it. Having no wheels for a month is the rough part. I have a lead on someone whose car I might be able to borrow though - a friend of mine has their car just sitting because their leg is broken and they can't drive it. And about 50% of my driving around is to help them out anyway. So it might not be so bad.



Check FB, and just "Google" it. There are whole forums devoted to this stuff. I'm sure there is an Escort forum, at least some subs on some of the larger Ford centric places.


----------



## TedEH

I don't doubt that the information is out there. I can find youtube videos outlining the whole process for each thing that needs to be done. But those youtube videos aren't going to provide me with the tools, the space, the time, the patience, the confidence, and the experience to do the job correctly and safely. I'm not new to driving - I know what my limits are in terms of trying to do repairs myself.

If we were talking a guitar, then sure, the worst that happens is that I make a costly mistake and buy a new guitar. If I fuck up my car repairs, I'm risking the lives of myself, my passengers, other people on the road, etc. If I can find an enthusiast or someone who wants to take on the challenge, then sure, whatever. But otherwise I want someone who knows what they're doing to do it. I think that's perfectly reasonable. Don't get me wrong, I love the do-it-yourself mentality for a lot of things. Guitar setups and pickup changes? Dive right in. Computer crap if it's not on a professional deadline or dealing with identifiable information? Go poke at it until you break it, it's fun. But not a car I plan to let anyone else into.


----------



## MaxOfMetal

TedEH said:


> I don't doubt that the information is out there. I can find youtube videos outlining the whole process for each thing that needs to be done. But those youtube videos aren't going to provide me with the tools, the space, the time, the patience, the confidence, and the experience to do the job correctly and safely. I'm not new to driving - I know what my limits are in terms of trying to do repairs myself.
> 
> If we were talking a guitar, then sure, the worst that happens is that I make a costly mistake and buy a new guitar. If I fuck up my car repairs, I'm risking the lives of myself, my passengers, other people on the road, etc. If I can find an enthusiast or someone who wants to take on the challenge, then sure, whatever. But otherwise I want someone who knows what they're doing to do it. I think that's perfectly reasonable. Don't get me wrong, I love the do-it-yourself mentality for a lot of things. Guitar setups and pickup changes? Dive right in. Computer crap if it's not on a professional deadline or dealing with identifiable information? Go poke at it until you break it, it's fun. But not a car I plan to let anyone else into.



I've met great folks and have made good friends from meeting up and wrenching with people.


----------



## TedEH

I don't doubt it. I don't know that the same kind of community exists here though. I have no friends or family who are mechanics, and there's no clubs of random ford enthusiasts here that I can find. And I'm not going to be convinced to try it myself. I'm serious when I say I suck as a mechanic. Not everyone is good at everything- I don't get why I have to defend that point. I'm neither good at it nor get any enjoyment from it.

It's like those threads where someone goes "hey, can you recommend me a guitar tech to install pickups? I've tried a bunch of times and just keep burning myself" and everyone insists that he just keep fighting with it and burning himself. Except that this time it's a giant speeding metal box that will kill me if I screw it up.

I appreciate the advice. I'm still going to get a mechanic to do it.


----------



## High Plains Drifter

Rest In Peace, Alex Trebek..


----------



## TheBolivianSniper

It's official, all my stuff sold. No more mesa.


----------



## Ordacleaphobia

Pourin' one out for the Mesa- sad day, but cash is king. Hopefully it finds it's way back to you soon.


----------



## TheBolivianSniper

Ordacleaphobia said:


> Pourin' one out for the Mesa- sad day, but cash is king. Hopefully it finds it's way back to you soon.



Yeah but it's ok, I was anticipating making the sale so I listed it early. I'm moving too much and I ended up being able to get a recording setup for school so I can plug into that. I bought a fair bit of EMG stuff before all my shit started breaking and I would feel like an asshole after negotiating such a good deal just to return it, and pickups are important with sims I've heard, so I figured why not rip the band aid off and have some money for good Christmas gifts for my family too.


----------



## TedEH

To add on top of the bad time I'm already having with ex-lady and her dog-walking drama, I've been informed that I might not be living up to expectations on the new project I joined at work - which is kind of crushing, since it's something I really wanted to go well. I'm having trouble processing whether or not it's me dropping the ball, or if the expectations are unrealistic. Given that these two things are 90% of my life right now, I basically feel like garbage.


----------



## TheBolivianSniper

TedEH said:


> To add on top of the bad time I'm already having with ex-lady and her dog-walking drama, I've been informed that I might not be living up to expectations on the new project I joined at work - which is kind of crushing, since it's something I really wanted to go well. I'm having trouble processing whether or not it's me dropping the ball, or if the expectations are unrealistic. Given that these two things are 90% of my life right now, I basically feel like garbage.



Hey man, I'd say if you've got expectations the best thing to always do is know you're working hard and take a day to focus on it and see where or if you're lacking. I'm doing so much shit right now I just take an hour or two one evening and focus on what I have to do the next day and the rest of the week, and if I'm feeling overwhelmed I like to look at how much I did do that day. If things are going down it seriously helps a ton to get laser focused again even if you feel like you don't have the time. 

I know my life experience is pretty limited but my life has been non stop ass kicking work that doesn't slow up or stop for almost 2 years now, just figured I'd share my strategy. 

The whole semester this year is kind of a case study in mental health but stopping and taking breaks to get my shit together and figure out if I'm behind/how much I'm getting done or what problems I have to solve has kept my brain out of the dumpster. 

Idk I might just be talking out of my ass but maybe something in there might help.


----------



## TedEH

Nah there's some value in there.

I can't / shouldn't go into details, but I basically report to a new client who has been on this same team for years and has the accumulated knowledge and connections to go with it. He wants me to get to a point where I can sort of do the same as what he's doing - and that's driving initiatives and conversations, being able to figure out what needs to be done on my own and just do it, etc - where I come from a background of just being the hired gun who does the list of tasks handed to me, so it's a huge adjustment. I also don't have the experience on the team or the kinds of connections he does. So, at two months in, he'll say "I tried to kick it over to you, and I was hoping to see you ask the right questions", but I've only been here two months. I don't know _who_ to ask or have enough context to know what questions I should be asking. I don't know how to be a driver of initiatives on a project I only just joined.


----------



## MFB

That's legitimately been the last year and a half of my life Ted.

I was promoted out of my old job into a new department and was working for a team as a draft monkey, so fed redlined drawings and told to make this picture look like this new one; and slowly I learned why we were doing those changes and what it all meant, but for the first year of it, I had no confidence in what I did or being on client calls because I didn't have to really think for myself. Only in the last few months on that team was I starting to take a lead role on stuff and be more involved, then they switched my teams to where I was now THE lead like my old lead designer, and it fucked me HARD. 

The guy they switched me for claims he's being doing this for so long and he's great at it, but his drawings look bad, and there's a ton of messes on big projects I've had to clean up on top of working on my own new projects. And because everyone does it differently, I basically started from square one learning this new teams methods and what to do when and where, etc... Picking my battles really. Any projects I did in the first year of working on this new team, fucking suck because I was learning a whole new system of responsibilities and design while having to do it. I look at them with shame when RFIs come in about something. 

The only silver lining is that it got me to the point where I realized I do need to switch fields since I was never meant to do this to begin with, so that hunt has started.


----------



## TedEH

After having a day or two to properly internalize and process things, I think I hopefully have a handle on things again. It's daunting, but at the same time, it's not impossible. It feels a bit like a fake-it-till-you-make-it scenario, but I know that everyone involved is willing to support whatever I need to get to the point where I can do what's expected. A lot of it does fall on me to go "ok, there are things I don't know -> who do I need to ask to be pointed in the right direction" instead of just "I dunno, I guess I'll work on what I do know until someone tells me otherwise".

I'm still stressed, but I'm trying to internalize the situation as a challenge that can be figured out rather than being in a bad situation. I took a day to get myself in order, take better notes, map out what I'm missing, and appreciate that I work in a place where I have the freedom to space to back up and course correct.


----------



## TheBolivianSniper

TedEH said:


> After having a day or two to properly internalize and process things, I think I hopefully have a handle on things again. It's daunting, but at the same time, it's not impossible. It feels a bit like a fake-it-till-you-make-it scenario, but I know that everyone involved is willing to support whatever I need to get to the point where I can do what's expected. A lot of it does fall on me to go "ok, there are things I don't know -> who do I need to ask to be pointed in the right direction" instead of just "I dunno, I guess I'll work on what I do know until someone tells me otherwise".
> 
> I'm still stressed, but I'm trying to internalize the situation as a challenge that can be figured out rather than being in a bad situation. I took a day to get myself in order, take better notes, map out what I'm missing, and appreciate that I work in a place where I have the freedom to space to back up and course correct.



Always great to sit down and get a new mindset. Best of luck man, I'm sure it'll turn out 100%!


----------



## TedEH

I appreciate the comments. I'm trying to keep as grounded as I can with this new job, 'cause it's right where I wanted to be for a quite a while. I'm excited about it, but can't even talk much about it because of NDAs and junk, but it's my jam as far as employment goes, so I don't want to screw it up.


----------



## TedEH

A few of you have been following and responding to my long-winded story about my ex and her roommate - I think parts have been in the sad thread and some in the mad thread, I don't remember anymore - today the story once again gets worse, because of course it does.

I had the bright idea of recommending setting up a sort of indoor dog-bathroom station of sorts, kind of like those puppy training mats just bigger, since it's a large dog. This means the dog has a place to go, and nobody has to rush out because the dog is getting desperate. Since it's impossible for her to go get these things right now while still recovering, I figure if I go and help, it's sort of helping myself in a way - since empowering her to handle the dog without help means I'm giving myself some freedom back. And at this point, it shouldn't be much longer before the recovery is far enough alone that all of this won't be necessary anymore - so there's a light at the end of the tunnel.

Except that on Tuesday, at some point during the day, ex tripped over and smashed her knee (the one that was broken) into a door frame, catching herself with the arm that has the separated shoulder. She went from being able to mostly walk with a cane, to no longer being able to support any weight on that leg anymore. She went until today trying to just shrug it off and let it heal but it got worse instead of better. When I heard this I very strongly suggested heading to an ER. She didn't want to do it, since she didn't want to have to ask me to drive. I didn't give her the option - I just went over and picked her up this morning, and off to the hospital.

Surprising nobody, the hardware that had been installed in her leg was shifted because of the fall, and now there's an appointment with the surgeon on Monday. And back to the wheelchair again. On top of that, the separated shoulder was also re-injured and is now in worse shape than it was when the original accident happened in June.

So within less than a week we went from seeing the light at the end of the tunnel to just starting down another tunnel. I was very much ready to get back to just doing my own thing, and now I don't know how I can do that. It was one thing when it was just the dog, but now she can't walk again. 

On top of this, roommate still just disappears most of the time. When I showed up to help set up the dog mats, he had locked himself in his room. Then when he heard the front door, he _thought_ we had left, so he tried to sneak out and ran into me in the stairs - immediately went into deer-in-headlights mode, then ran past me and nobody has seen or heard from him since.


----------



## Ordacleaphobia

Goddamn, dude. You can't make this shit up.


----------



## Ordacleaphobia

Man, I need to vent.
One of the executives at my work is leaving. This guy was the last person there that I liked talking to and enjoyed being around. He was also my biggest advocate and the only person in upper management that understood my skillset, and was in touch with my day to day responsibilities.
This comes a year after my supervisor left, who I was also very close to, and I inherited her job without any of the pay, benefits, or recognition. Just this month was I able to finally convince the powers that be to give me her title, but they still won't have me actually supervise anybody or anything. Literally just a title change.

For reasons I don't care to go into here, this is a much larger blow than it should be.
Every aspect of my life has been slowly but steadily crumbling over the last year and a half. Personal, professional, doesn't matter- it's just been one thing after another. Everything has been coming apart at the seams and it's been going on so steadily for so long now that anything that happens to continue this trend feels so much more substantial that it should because there is no silver lining and there hasn't been for a long time now. Bad news, bad news, bad news, with nothing positive at any point since 2018 and I can't take much more of it.

In this specific example, this time two years ago, I fucking _*loved*_ my job. I _*looked forward*_ to going in to work every day. Never had that before in my life. It was great. Then my manager left, along with one of our sales reps, and management said "fuck it" and fired the other sales rep and decided to just have one of the owners be responsible for business development. Two months after one of the people on my 3 man team got poached and reassigned to a different department. Going from a 3 man team to 1 wasn't enough, because the entire sales pipeline had to get fucked off too- which becomes my problem real quick, since I do implementation. So those neatly buttoned-up folders containing all of the info I needed for each new, well-vetted client are gone- because the guy doing them now is a stakeholder in the company and just signs whoever and does whatever he wants and I have to make it work and clean up the mess. My list of responsibilities has more than tripled in the last year. I'm tasked with doing shit that we've never even _considered _doing in the company's 50+ year history because it was too much of a pain in the ass. Work is no longer an escape from an increasingly toxic home life, with people that I look forward to seeing. It's become a whole new prison. And now I don't even have my cool cellmate anymore.

Can't leave either, since even without COVID the job market in my area is atrocious. The average hourly wage here was something like $13/hr last I checked. Anywhere I look, jobs I'm confident in my ability to get result in a 30%+ pay cut.

And this is _*one- just one*_ facet of the perpetual trainwreck that's been going on since early 2019. I'm at my wit's end. I am so, _*-so-*_ tired of having nothing but problems. I want my fucking life back.


----------



## Demiurge

^Sorry to hear that. Really hating the hell out of my job right now, too. We're a very top-heavy organization, and with the pandemic and people not in the office, there's no more rubbing elbows at the coffee maker or engaging in the Meeting Industrial Complex for these people to look busy to one another. So they've found that tinkering in our files all day makes them look busy and in turn makes us busier. The whole work/life balance thing has been a challenge already and it's just getting worse. Then they just laid off a bunch of people to tighten-up the year-end books. It's hard to simply be like, "There but for the grace of god go I," and then go on planning to work over another fucking weekend. It's a shame because they like me a lot here, but I just feel like the breakup is inevitable.


----------



## BusinessMan

Ive been kind of keeping this to myself but i cant anymore. My father in law passed away a few days ago. He was a really cool guy and a lot better to me than my own. He taught me a few things on the guitar when I felt like I wasn't progressing and also showed me a great deal about working in vehicles. The wife set up a go fund me to help pay for funeral and other expenses. She asked me to share it around wherever I could. I know times are tough for everyone and this is pretty sudden, but anything helps

https://www.gofundme.com/f/funeral-...HAl-aQ0RRGeYOpw6eWeWXM2WVFHAzIKSn-HZFF46HQ4b0

If this isn't allowed to be posted here please delete it. Hope everyone is doing OK though.


----------



## TedEH

I booked some time off for holidays, hoping that I could get some time to myself and write/record some new music. I don't think it's going to happen the way I'd have liked. I'm going to be stuck dealing with ex- lady, and there's a chance they'll close down the bridge between me and the jam room for covid reasons, meaning instead of relaxing and doing music things, I'll be stuck here doing nothing and inundated with stupid drama. I don't think I've ever been less excited for holidays.


----------



## TedEH

Because it's 2020, the bad times keep on coming.
My dad is now in the hospital with the 'rona and pneumonia on his lungs thanks to COPD. Xmas, as it had been intended to happen is now officially cancelled.


----------



## Millul

Sorry to hear about your dad, Ted - hope he gets better soon!


----------



## TedEH

Thanks


----------



## Albake21

We put my 16 year old family dog down this morning. I'm having a much harder time with it than I thought I would.


----------



## MFB

I didn't realize how long the USPS backlog has been going on. Prople who were supposed to get stuff in early December have just started getting stuff it seems, what an absolute clusterfuck. I can only image anything shipped between the initial delay and when they would normally mail things for Christmas.


----------



## MFB

Alexi passed away and Jon Schaffer confirms he really did go full on right wing nuts 

https://www.metalsucks.net/2021/01/...tedly-among-pro-trump-rioters-at-capitol/amp/


----------



## TheBolivianSniper

Had this great used Fender bass I was gonna pick up as a nice little birthday present and I just got a message, the guy sold it the day before I was going to buy it.


----------



## BusinessMan

Nevermind. No use in it anymore


----------



## TedEH

I've been making some tunes lately, and have reached the inevitable point where I need to come up with lyrics/vocals. It's the worst part. I suck at writing lyrics and it kills the whole process. All momentum lost.


----------



## Millul

Just go for a melody, make them instrumental songs


TedEH said:


> I've been making some tunes lately, and have reached the inevitable point where I need to come up with lyrics/vocals. It's the worst part. I suck at writing lyrics and it kills the whole process. All momentum lost.


----------



## TedEH

They aren't that great as instrumental songs. I find that with no vocals, the stuff I come up with ends up sounding repetitive and sort of arbitrarily arranged. I'll figure it out eventually, the process just sucks.


----------



## Seabeast2000

TedEH said:


> They aren't that great as instrumental songs. I find that with no vocals, the stuff I come up with ends up sounding repetitive and sort of arbitrarily arranged. I'll figure it out eventually, the process just sucks.



Start with one line in one section. Sometimes that's all you need, build or not on that. The lines don't have to be congruent with each other. Its art man.


----------



## TedEH

Seabeast2000 said:


> Its art man.


That's how I usually end up justifying it. My lyrics suck, I already know that. They need just to be good enough to lend some texture to the song


----------



## Mprinsje

There was a huge fire in the building our practice space is in. Fire doesn't seem to have spread to the practice spaces but apparently there's a quite a bit of smoke damage. We also have a locker with all of my bands equipment in it. We're just hoping that's not damaged :/


----------



## p0ke

Mprinsje said:


> There was a huge fire in the building our practice space is in. Fire doesn't seem to have spread to the practice spaces but apparently there's a quite a bit of smoke damage. We also have a locker with all of my bands equipment in it. We're just hoping that's not damaged :/



Hope so, and if something got damaged, I hope you've got insurance. I sure am glad I did when my bands rehearsal place burned to the ground a few years ago. (over here home insurance also covers a certain amount of stuff you carry along, which was enough to replace all my gear)


----------



## Mprinsje

p0ke said:


> Hope so, and if something got damaged, I hope you've got insurance. I sure am glad I did when my bands rehearsal place burned to the ground a few years ago. (over here home insurance also covers a certain amount of stuff you carry along, which was enough to replace all my gear)



Just got the news that there isn't any real damage, but there is some ashes on our amps, not too much though.

Home insurance here only covers your stuff out of your house if you pay an additional fee (like 5 bucks a month or something). I don't have that (yet, will do this soon).


----------



## sleewell

i can def see climate change in my area. we used to get so much snow and it was always very cold. now we barely get any and it rarely stays below freezing for long. 


had a lot of good memories growing up playing in the snow as a kid and it sucks that my kids wont have that.


----------



## p0ke

Mprinsje said:


> Just got the news that there isn't any real damage, but there is some ashes on our amps, not too much though.
> 
> Home insurance here only covers your stuff out of your house if you pay an additional fee (like 5 bucks a month or something). I don't have that (yet, will do this soon).



Well, that's a relief. And yeah, paying for insurance sucks but it totally pays itself back when something happens.


----------



## p0ke

sleewell said:


> i can def see climate change in my area. we used to get so much snow and it was always very cold. now we barely get any and it rarely stays below freezing for long.
> 
> 
> had a lot of good memories growing up playing in the snow as a kid and it sucks that my kids wont have that.



Well a year or two of not having a proper winter doesn't mean there'll never be one again. I thought our winters were done because last year it was literally autumn for half a year and the year before was quite warm too, but then all of a sudden now, boom, half a meter of snow and the forecast says it could be as cold as -27°C (-16.6°F) tonight and the next.


----------



## sleewell

p0ke said:


> Well a year or two of not having a proper winter doesn't mean there'll never be one again. I thought our winters were done because last year it was literally autumn for half a year and the year before was quite warm too, but then all of a sudden now, boom, half a meter of snow and the forecast says it could be as cold as -27°C (-16.6°F) tonight and the next.




i wish it had only been a year or two. we are getting less and less snow each year and every winter is warmer than the last. def not a one or two year thing.


----------



## p0ke

sleewell said:


> i wish it had only been a year or two. we are getting less and less snow each year and every winter is warmer than the last. def not a one or two year thing.



I guess it could be different over there, but here it seems to vary so much per year, I don't really think it's _all_ climate change. Like I said, it seemed to be going the way you described, but out of nowhere a proper winter came again.


----------



## thebeesknees22

I just paid the import duties on my skervesen. .....oh....oh..that hurt... So ...sooo much more than I expected. lol someone call an ambulance. X_X


----------



## Boofchuck

I feel like I need to re-record almost every song I've worked on the last two years because they would almost all sound better at slower tempos. 

Sad Boofchuck.


----------



## possumkiller

I have to shit so fucking bad and someone won't gtfo of the toilet.


----------



## TedEH

It feels a bit like a dumb/petty thing to be sad about but I keep finding myself feeling kinda defeated in that it's hard to find common ground and have conversations with people - or to be able to take any pride in my accomplishments because nobody understands what I did, or because they take some offence to the idea that I succeeded at something they didn't. 

I recently was speaking with some family and most of the things on my mind that I wanted to talk about just weren't really received well. I brought up that I finally got some of my financial situation in order because I had been dropping the ball when it came to savings and retirement planning - and that went really poorly. They took it like I was rubbing it in their face that I can afford to save because I have no kids, like I was mocking their struggles or something. I tried to say that some of the personal finance stuff I learned recently would be helpful for _anyone_ in _any_ situation but they still took offence because "it's so easy for me to say", as if budgeting is only a tool for "rich people". I had some other work accomplishments I had been happy about, but obviously kept them to myself at this point.

Oooooookay.... so change subject I guess. Later on I was asked about how music things were going and I said I had recently come up with something I was pretty proud of: I had taken a cover song we used to play a long time ago and recorded a version of it that pretty closely nails the original. They were not impressed. I mean "you've been playing that same song since you were like 16, so I don't see the big deal". Except that we had been playing it entirely wrong, with terrible gear, and had never recorded it. This time I took the time to study what I had wrong, and I managed to get the tones right, and I've obviously improved a lot since I was 16 in terms of playing and production. But nope. Not convinced. They don't hear a difference. *sigh*

Later on a comment is made about video games because so many people are stuck inside with nothing to do - I play a lot of games and work in games, so hey, I should have a lot to say right - but instead it turned into a conversation about how we should be able to do without all this nonsense 'cause back when they were young all you had was space invaders and they weren't very good at that either, since there was always something better or more important to do.

Aaaaaaaaalright. So I literally just don't have any common ground with anyone. I just go back home and turn my phone off and do my own thing by myself like I always do 'cause trying to connect with other people is mostly futile.


----------



## thebeesknees22

Dude.. Sounds like those people are toxic. I've encountered my fair share of people like that. In my old age I've become numb to them and I just move on and don't waste my time with them. 

Just keep in mind that 50% of the people you meet have their heads way up their butts. 25% are probably just flat out crazy. And the other 25% are probably genuinely good peoples. lol

The financial thing - if they can't understand how even saving a few bucks every paycheck will add up then that's their problem. ex) don't buy that pack of cigarettes. Don't buy those drinks or a 6 pack. etc.. Don't buy those cookies etc.. $20 a week saved is $1040 in a year. That's a lunch box head right there. That's a new solar guitar. *head explodes. ..some people just can't see that.

The music dude just seems like a super toxic person. I'd cut them out...but that's me.

The games person - again... sounds like a toxic person...or that person is a robot. I'm not sure which. If they don't need entertainment then they must not be human, or they're a possible psychopath.

I think the best reaction to them would be to 1. Save even more and become even more financially well off. Make even more music and keep improving. Make more games so more people can be entertained. Because entertainment, believe it or not, is really important to psychological health of the masses.


----------



## Albake21

TedEH said:


> It feels a bit like a dumb/petty thing to be sad about but I keep finding myself feeling kinda defeated in that it's hard to find common ground and have conversations with people - or to be able to take any pride in my accomplishments because nobody understands what I did, or because they take some offence to the idea that I succeeded at something they didn't.
> 
> I recently was speaking with some family and most of the things on my mind that I wanted to talk about just weren't really received well. I brought up that I finally got some of my financial situation in order because I had been dropping the ball when it came to savings and retirement planning - and that went really poorly. They took it like I was rubbing it in their face that I can afford to save because I have no kids, like I was mocking their struggles or something. I tried to say that some of the personal finance stuff I learned recently would be helpful for _anyone_ in _any_ situation but they still took offence because "it's so easy for me to say", as if budgeting is only a tool for "rich people". I had some other work accomplishments I had been happy about, but obviously kept them to myself at this point.
> 
> Oooooookay.... so change subject I guess. Later on I was asked about how music things were going and I said I had recently come up with something I was pretty proud of: I had taken a cover song we used to play a long time ago and recorded a version of it that pretty closely nails the original. They were not impressed. I mean "you've been playing that same song since you were like 16, so I don't see the big deal". Except that we had been playing it entirely wrong, with terrible gear, and had never recorded it. This time I took the time to study what I had wrong, and I managed to get the tones right, and I've obviously improved a lot since I was 16 in terms of playing and production. But nope. Not convinced. They don't hear a difference. *sigh*
> 
> Later on a comment is made about video games because so many people are stuck inside with nothing to do - I play a lot of games and work in games, so hey, I should have a lot to say right - but instead it turned into a conversation about how we should be able to do without all this nonsense 'cause back when they were young all you had was space invaders and they weren't very good at that either, since there was always something better or more important to do.
> 
> Aaaaaaaaalright. So I literally just don't have any common ground with anyone. I just go back home and turn my phone off and do my own thing by myself like I always do 'cause trying to connect with other people is mostly futile.


I can relate to this a lot actually. As I've gotten older, I've realized how out of touch my family was with my life. I've changed a lot in recent years and I've grown into things that my family just can't understand. They live a very traditional style of life and that's that. I spent most of 2020 getting over this, realizing that they are still my family and I still love them, but I realized that I have to move on and take care of myself a bit and not care about what others think. I realize that a lot of my accomplishments are rather niche or hobby oriented. Stuff that my parents or siblings just wont get no matter how much I try to explain. I've learned to keep my progress and achievements to myself unless I truly know the other person will understand it. Point is, I've been spending the little of 2021 we've been in to really drive this home in myself. To not let others' validation be what drives me, because this is how I've been living my life for years, which is rather unhealthy. Live your life how you want, your achievements are for you, not others. Who cares what others think, you achieved what you sought out for. That should be more than enough to be happy, but I know it can be tough at times driving that home.


----------



## TedEH

^ Yeh that's the idea.

It's all immediate family, so it's not like "cutting them out" over petty topics is reasonable. They aren't "toxic", there's just a big lack of common ground between us. And I get why money is a sticky subject for some people - especially if you're scraping by while trying to support 6 people, while the single dude with disposable income goes on about how easy it is to save money. I get it. And I get that people don't listen to music the same way that I do. And I get that a lot of modern things (games, etc) are not universal/ubiquitous or easy to grasp for someone who has no background/context for it.

It's just frustrating to have no real point of connection with people. Like if I get a raise at work, I can't tell anyone about it because they'll get salty about it. If I get excited about a video game or a tech thing, most people outside of work seem to still think games are either juvenile or intimidating. If I talk about music it's always in terms of "it's that crazy music you like" because I'm not into pop or country.

The person I talk to the most is my ex that I've been helping (lots of drama about that in other threads for anyone who's seen it) - and even that's met with pushback. I mean, for all the drama, this person is still my friend and is one of the few people I have some amount of common ground with - and I don't think people understand that value in that for me. Buuuuut of course nobody sees that. They just see that I'm doing things for someone else and they keep insisting that I shouldn't help, that I'm being taken advantage of. That should be someone elses job. If I just bailed, then she'd just "figure it out", or "that's what her family should be doing" assuming everyone has the same relationship with their family.

And that's about it. I wake up, I work, I entertain myself, I go back to bed, repeat, all in the same little appartment - so there's just this huge lack of personal connection to anyone or anything. In the odd case where I'm actually getting to be social - usually because someone needed something and there was no other option but for me to help - the attempts to find some common ground just fall flat.

It's kinda petty, and it's just a poor framing of things, but still. It's not thaaaat serious, but I don't think it's unfair to lament a lack of fulfilling social engagement.


----------



## thebeesknees22

Ah ok immediate family are tricky. The tolerance threshold has to be higher for them true. 

I understand where you're coming from. No one in my family has the faintest idea of what visual effects are, and when I used to try to explain it to them they'd just shrug and have a blank stare on their face. lol They just don't understand what it is I do, and that's perfectly fine. VFX is a pretty tight knit industry though so there are plenty of folks to talk to about that outside of family, and we're around each other so much that being away from it from time to time is honestly refreshing.

I'm pretty lucky that my family was into metal when I was growing up. My step brothers, and my mom (yes my mom listens to rock/hard rock/metal) lol So that's never been a problem, BUT my friends. yeah..I've been the only one in my social circle that's been into metal ever since I left LA 10 years ago. Let me say going to a concert by yourself SUCKS! ... but I digress...

The repetitiveness of the covid life routine is hard I know. I'm perfectly happy right now because I have so much going on. Work is kicking my butt. I'm shopping for a house/apartment to buy. I'm getting back into working out for real, and I'm back to trying to write another practice album so I can get better at mixing/mastering. Plus I'm trying to figure out how to maximize my savings while being a US expat (that's a huge pain in the butt!). Plus I'm trying to learn French and ..ugh...man... It's slow going... I need to learn it though so I can stop getting the stink eye here when I go out. lol

The point is that I'm busy as heck, and I'm trying to set myself up to have a brand new set of skills when Covid is over. ....But if you're pretty well settled and there's not much to keep your mind engaged then these lockdowns can no doubt be brutal. We're probably looking at another 9 months or so of this before people can really get out and socialize again. On the bright side that will pass by pretty fast, and when we are off lockdowns then loads of people will be wanting to socialize too so it should be fun times ahead once the vaccines are all distributed. 

Just keep your eye on the long game, and things will be fine.


----------



## TedEH

thebeesknees22 said:


> Let me say going to a concert by yourself SUCKS! ... but I digress...


A lot of why I miss shows is it's one of the few places I didn't really feel out of place. It's basically packing a bunch of weirdos and nerds in a room to enjoy something that's kinda ridiculous and all the better for it - and there's at least some amount of common ground there. I have more "friends" at shows than I do in day-to-day life. But of course shows and jams and whatnot are all no-go right now. I haven't seen a show in about a year now.


----------



## thebeesknees22

oh awesome, well that'll come back eventually. I doubt it'll be toooo much longer if they can just ramp up vaccine production.

I went to a This Will Destroy you concert once by myself in Vancouver and it was a really small club. And it was packed, but one of the bartender/waitresses kept coming by and asking if I was ok because I was by myself. LOL it got kind of awkward after a while so I just left. 

That's kind of par for the course in my solo concert going experiences hahaha


----------



## TedEH

I honestly kinda like solo outings -> movies, concerts, etc. You don't have to worry about arguing about the logistics, food, whether or not anyone else is having a good time, whatever else. But those aren't allowed right now either.


----------



## bostjan

@TedEH this is the thing that really gets me -you'd think that the covid blues would be the most universally shared experience of anyone over the age of like 4 alive right now, but, IDK, it really isn't.

And I had gone to concerts alone once or twice, ages ago. It's a strange experience (for me). It's like it's the ultimate experience to share with someone else, but it's just surreal and weird to go alone. The band goes into a killer riff, and you're reflex reaction is to turn to the person next to you and celebrate, except that person is a complete stranger there with four of their friends and then it's impossible for your own psyche to ignore the fact that you bought two tickets to see your favourite band, but your friend ditched you and no one else you are acquainted with felt that your interest in the band was worth spending an evening with you.

Anyway, like everyone already said, it's a moot discussion right now at any rate.

I'm the kind of person who is in a perpetual existential crisis. Usually, I just try to use that as motivation to accomplish something. Well, right now, there seems like there is nothing really worth accomplishing anymore, so, for the first time in years, I'm left with my own thoughts and no distractions, be they frivolous nor meaningful. Combine my creative wells running dry along with the covid blues and the "it's the winteriest part of winter" blues, and some other interpersonal conflicts, and I'm feeling like I just want to hibernate until spring.


----------



## thebeesknees22

oh yes on going to the movies solo! Man, that was the best when I lived in Santa Monica, CA. I'd just walked down to the promenade around 10am on a Saturday and I'd have the whole theater to myself. It was amazing! 

Never could find a theatre in Vancouver that opened that early though, and I haven't tried since moving to MTL. ...my lack of Français keeps me from wanting to go out here lol First world problem of my own making... /facepalm


----------



## TedEH

Funny enough the last show I saw was in MTL. At the Corona theatre of all places. I used to think that going out to certain things solo was kind of weird and awkward until I realized that only going with people meant most of the time I just didn't get to to at all and therefor would just miss out. So I started going to things I wanted to do on my own, and it's almost liberating. I figure, if I do almost everything on my own, why not these things to? And if there's ever a place I'm going to encounter new people who I might be able to relate to and connect with on the basis of these interests, what better place than to go to where other people are already actively participating.

Really, the idea of someone going _with_ me to a show is the weird idea to me. A long time a go an ex went along to a show with me and then admitted afterwards that she hated it and only went along in the hopes of getting laid afterwards. I think that kinda stung in a way and soured me on the idea of trying to convince people to join for me much. In the odd case that someone does actually come along and enjoys something for what it is, I get pretty extatic about it 'cause it feels like a rare thing.


----------



## thebeesknees22

bostjan said:


> @TedEH Well, right now, there seems like there is nothing really worth accomplishing anymore, so, for the first time in years, I'm left with my own thoughts and no distractions, be they frivolous nor meaningful. Combine my creative wells running dry along with the covid blues and the "it's the winteriest part of winter" blues, and some other interpersonal conflicts, and I'm feeling like I just want to hibernate until spring.



I've been in that exact spot years ago. I finally made it "in" into vfx, and right off the bat I was lucky enough to work on 2 features that won Oscars. I had no ambition for leadership at the time and it was like..."welp... now what? I already did all I wanted to do" 

That lasted for a long time.. Loooong time. I'm talking years, and looking back there was a lot of things I wish I would have done to prepare better for the years later. So now (fast forward 13yrs) I look at things differently. Now I see a path down the road in 10 years and I look at today in terms of what can I do to make sure I can do X during retiment. What can I do now so I can retire in X years. Or what can I do now that will enable to do to X down the road. 

But if you've been going hard for a long time, then sometimes hibernation can be a good thing. But there's lots of stuff a person can do. If anything just to prepare for the post Covid era. It'll be here before you know it and if you missed an opportunity to improve on something you may look back and kick yourself for not digging in and doing it. There's basically a timer of 6-9 months. Boom start: the clock is running. What can you accomplish in that time?


----------



## bostjan

thebeesknees22 said:


> oh yes on going to the movies solo! Man, that was the best when I lived in Santa Monica, CA. I'd just walked down to the promenade around 10am on a Saturday and I'd have the whole theater to myself. It was amazing!
> 
> Never could find a theatre in Vancouver that opened that early though, and I haven't tried since moving to MTL. ...my lack of Français keeps me from wanting to go out here lol First world problem of my own making... /facepalm



I'll bet you can learn enough French to get by in MTL in about two months. Like any language, though, there's a very steep law of diminishing returns on how much you learn after the first year of study. If you are already living in MTL, probably just letting yourself be immersed by it is the best way to learn. Especially since Quebec French is so different from metropolitan French.



thebeesknees22 said:


> I've been in that exact spot years ago. I finally made it "in" into vfx, and right off the bat I was lucky enough to work on 2 features that won Oscars. I had no ambition for leadership at the time and it was like..."welp... now what? I already did all I wanted to do"
> 
> That lasted for a long time.. Loooong time. I'm talking years, and looking back there was a lot of things I wish I would have done to prepare better for the years later. So now (fast forward 13yrs) I look at things differently. Now I see a path down the road in 10 years and I look at today in terms of what can I do to make sure I can do X during retiment. What can I do now so I can retire in X years. Or what can I do now that will enable to do to X down the road.
> 
> But if you've been going hard for a long time, then sometimes hibernation can be a good thing. But there's lots of stuff a person can do. If anything just to prepare for the post Covid era. It'll be here before you know it and if you missed an opportunity to improve on something you may look back and kick yourself for not digging in and doing it. There's basically a timer of 6-9 months. Boom start: the clock is running. What can you accomplish in that time?



Wow! Two Oscars?! That's incredible. Closest I've come to that was that I won a bear in a carnival game once. 

I did get my dream job right out of grad school. Literally the day after orientation, my job was cut first thing in the morning. Never even got my badge printed. Years later, I got a really cool job that also turned out to be very short-lived, since the guy who created the job got forced out of the company just a few months later. With him gone, the whole thing went into free-fall for a surprising length of time (over 4 years) before that job was eliminated as well (not that I was able to get any of my projects funded for those four years unless they could be done on a shoestring budget, and even those tended to get no support, even when I found some really cool stuff, because no one left at the company understood any of it).


----------



## thebeesknees22

@bostjan
Have you ever thought about moving to a different city/state to do your dream job again? 

Or just moving to a different city or state just for a new experience? Just the experience alone can be pretty fun (or miserable lol) in itself

(it's hard to right now, but you can totally prepare for doing it Post Covid now)


----------



## MFB

Man, I look at solo outings totally different; no expectations on me to have these reactions, or worried if my lack of reaction is ruining anyone's good time. I'm a stranger to everyone there, they'll never see me again, so I can just be whoever I want to be based on how I feel that day for that event and that's the end of it. Maybe I'm a story for someone else about this stranger who was having a ball at a show, or who was just intently locked into it? I know most of the shows anyways I'm so close to the same crowd the majority of the time we buddy up during it, say our peace and leave each other well enough alone at the end (be it hanging back like geezers, or way too tight because it's someone we need to be in for).

Events alone are great if you know what you want out of them, if it's by necessity then it can be a bummer; there are certainly some I do wish I had someone close to me with, but overall those are few and far between.


----------



## lurè

TedEH said:


> Really, the idea of someone going _with_ me to a show is the weird idea to me. A long time a go an ex went along to a show with me and then admitted afterwards that she hated it and only went along in the hopes of getting laid afterwards. I think that kinda stung in a way and soured me on the idea of trying to convince people to join for me much. In the odd case that someone does actually come along and enjoys something for what it is, I get pretty extatic about it 'cause it feels like a rare thing.



Last 5/6 big concerts I went was by myself and I don't bother anymore asking if someone wants to join me; even going for a movie has become just a thing I plan 5 minutes before getting into the car and driving to the cinema.

Kinda sick and tired to wait for the correct stars alignment before asking if a friend or a girl wants to go for a "stupid" thing like a concert o a movie.


----------



## TedEH

Now I just miss shows.


----------



## MFB

I missed out on so many killer shows from COVID, that I don't think they'll ever happen again. Rammstein on Labor Day with a party bus? Nah, fucking donezo. Coheed outdoors in Worcester? Not anymore. Primus's RUSH tribute show in Maine? Next year sometime.


----------



## groverj3

Chilling solo in my apartment for the eleventy hundredth day in a row in a city where I don't know anyone due to moving during COVID.

Definite COVID blues time here. The most exciting thing I've done today is the laundry.


----------



## BlackMastodon

My first family cat has to be put down today. She almost made it to her 18th birthday but the last couple of months she's been eating less and less and the last few days have been especially hard for her so my parents decided it was time. I'm celebrating the fact that she got to have almost 18 years on this earth and even during this past summer and fall she was still running around outside like her age didn't matter. She even made a few appearance in the early days of the SSO Pet Thread and some of my old build threads in the luthier section 

I'll miss Cleo a lot.


----------



## MFB

Welp, didn't get the job in Portland, so that's not very cash money.


----------



## SexHaver420

I saw a really ugly baby at work and felt bad for it.


----------



## TheBolivianSniper

I think my computer is broken again and this time I'm not fixing it if it is


----------



## BlackMastodon

MFB said:


> Welp, didn't get the job in Portland, so that's not very cash money.


Shit, sorry to hear that dude. I knew you were pretty pumped after getting to the third round of interviews.


----------



## thebeesknees22

MFB said:


> Welp, didn't get the job in Portland, so that's not very cash money.



yeah that's rough...Sorry to hear that man. 

But keep looking. I had a buddy that went through the same thing early last fall. He had 3 interviews, and had to fly up to Portland for an in person white board test. (he bombed it... big time) But like a month or two later he got a job offer from another company that was a massive raise and a promotion.

So keep looking. Something else will pop up eventually. Maybe something better than what you were going for. ᕦ(ò_óˇ)


----------



## MFB

Thanks bros.

I thought there was only two of us, so to find out it was closer to a handful was a bit easier to swallow. Doesn't make it feel ENTIRELY personal when it's a 4 on 1. I need to talk with my recruiter and see if there was any feedback or just a, "no, we just liked this guy more than everyone."

Found two other jobs that I'm planning to apply to, one is in the city I lived in while I finished my BS and about 30 mins away. The other is right in the heart of Boston, by the big expo center and I'd take the T in or see what the parking situation is. One is VDC like the Portland gig was, and the other is more like Arch Viz.


----------



## thebeesknees22

oh sweet! Good luck dude!


----------



## Scooter1969

Need a double hip replacement. Too many years of working in the oil field I guess....


----------



## MaxOfMetal

Scooter1969 said:


> Need a double hip replacement. Too many years of working in the oil field I guess....



My old man was a lineman for 40 years, and needed two new hips. Even at near 70 his recovery was fairly quick (about two months). He says it was the best decision he ever made. 

He gets around better than I do, and even with another decade of beating the heck out of them he's moving around like it ain't no thing. 

If you go for it, may your recovery be swift.


----------



## KnightBrolaire

Daft Punk split up


----------



## MFB

KnightBrolaire said:


> Daft Punk split up



how could you do this to me?


----------



## BlackMastodon

KnightBrolaire said:


> Daft Punk split up


----------



## Scooter1969

MaxOfMetal said:


> My old man was a lineman for 40 years, and needed two new hips. Even at near 70 his recovery was fairly quick (about two months). He says it was the best decision he ever made.
> 
> He gets around better than I do, and even with another decade of beating the heck out of them he's moving around like it ain't no thing.
> 
> If you go for it, may your recovery be swift.



Thank you sir!


----------



## MFB

There was supposed to be a Scurillous 10th anniversary box set out today, but no news has been posted for it 

I'd love to own it on vinyl, and see them do that front to back as a setlist next year


----------



## jaxadam

I don’t really know where this goes, but my wife and I heard a loud bang the other day, and apparently a bird flew into one of our windows. Well, it was humid this morning and I was walking by the window and you could see the whole outline of the body and where he lost his lunch. I feel pretty sorry for the poor fella.


----------



## BMFan30

BlackMastodon said:


>





KnightBrolaire said:


> Daft Punk split up



Daft Punk was just Justice anyways. Stop lying to yourselves.


----------



## c7spheres

I blew a tube in my amp... and it was from my favorite quad of WInged C EL34's. They're expensive to replace and really hard to find a single tube to match the remaining 3. Gotta suck it up and buy another matched pair I guess.


----------



## Seabeast2000

c7spheres said:


> I blew a tube in my amp... and it was from my favorite quad of WInged C EL34's. They're expensive to replace and really hard to find a single tube to match the remaining 3. Gotta suck it up and buy another matched pair I guess.


What kind of amp?


----------



## c7spheres

Seabeast2000 said:


> What kind of amp?


 VHT Two/Fifty/Two Best power amp ever!


----------



## KnightBrolaire

My mom donated my 1st gen pokemon cards including multiple holo charizards.


----------



## narad

jaxadam said:


> View attachment 92060
> I don’t really know where this goes, but my wife and I heard a loud bang the other day, and apparently a bird flew into one of our windows. Well, it was humid this morning and I was walking by the window and you could see the whole outline of the body and where he lost his lunch. I feel pretty sorry for the poor fella.



As an NFT that's probably worth at least 1.3 million USD


----------



## jaxadam

narad said:


> As an NFT that's probably worth at least 1.3 million USD



Luckily for me, since it was an animal, it fetched about 2 mil on the Brady exchange.


----------



## Jeries

My mom is in ICU with Covid and my aunt just got out of ICU and she can’t walk now.....so my health issues on top it , and I also have a newborn just a few months and I’m a single father.

you know as well that I’ve been excerising and dieting but after chest pains I discovered I have an arithmetic issue because of terrible dull pain in my chest - so I don’t know what’s going on


My crazy ass cousin is in the same situation almost but his baby is almost due in a couple of months, so he lost sight of responsibility 

it interferes with our relationship and now on top of all the stress of family and personal health , and work and the baby, I can no longer depend on my cousin to support our partnership any further 

we had a falling out and it’s just making me sad it’s all happening at once - he’s a good guy but now I can’t rely on him so I have a lot more work to do

but who knows? Maybe it’ll get better with less stress?


----------



## TedEH

That sounds rough. I get the impression you're trying to take control of things as much as you can though, so you can give yourself that at least.

I got some weird news last night that the band I've been drumming for (and previously guitar-ing for) is not so much dissolving as transitioning to a studio/recording band with "revolving members". I haven't quite decided how to feel about it yet.


----------



## Jeries

Like an unofficial hiatus?


----------



## TedEH

More like a way for the band leader to kick everyone out of the band, but unofficially keep them around in case of show offers, but with no commitment to it being any particular members.


----------



## Jeries

thats what it sounded like - sorry bud


----------



## Jeries

Foryet it 
I don’t even want to bring it up
Enough for one day


----------



## Seybsnilksz

I was asked if I was interested (not a definite job offer) to do work for a company within audio run by people I look up to a lot, but I turned it down because it wasn't the kind of thing that is my primary passion, although it is something I definitely could do. I guess it was a bit of impostor-syndrome because I felt that they could definitely find someone better for that particular work. This is a guy that has expressed admiration for some of my Youtube covers, and we've talked now and then about stuff. A few days later I realised I shouldn't skimp on opportunities if I want to get anywhere. On Monday I told the guy that I wanted to do it (along with a slightly cringy story about me turning down a girl during first grade




), but he still hasn't replied. I realise now that I should've just asked to think about it for a while before deciding the first time, and now I'm afraid that I burned a bridge and that I'm business-retarded.


----------



## thebeesknees22

Turning down a job offer shouldn't burn a bridge. That's just business. If he was interested once then he'll most likely still be interested if the job is still available. If he did get personally offended then most likely that person will be difficult to work with somewhere down the line. 

ie) business is business. People shouldn't take it personally. If they do then it's going to lead to some drama at some point. (imho anyway)


----------



## Seybsnilksz

thebeesknees22 said:


> Turning down a job offer shouldn't burn a bridge. That's just business. If he was interested once then he'll most likely still be interested if the job is still available. If he did get personally offended then most likely that person will be difficult to work with somewhere down the line.
> 
> ie) business is business. People shouldn't take it personally. If they do then it's going to lead to some drama at some point. (imho anyway)



Yeah I agree, the thing is that I acted kinda unprofessionally by not taking some time to think before making a decision, essentially talking myself down immediately, then regretting it and trying to take back the offer in an awkward way.


----------



## stinkbug

climate change, right?


----------



## Ordacleaphobia

Had a dream last night where a buddy moved away and it got me surprisingly fucked up.
This guy's the last person I know and still regularly hang out with that I grew up with. I'm not exactly a social butterfly, so meeting new people is an extremely slow and difficult process for me; but even if it wasn't, the realization that I can literally never have that same connection with another person again was tough. 

I have other friends, but none that knew me when I was 13. And I mean I know he's not going anywhere right now, but realizing how fragile that aspect of my life is was kind of depressing because there's really nothing I can do about it. I can't just appear people that I've known for over a decade, and for whatever reason, I really want people in my life that understand me and who I am on that level. 

Getting old sucks, man.


----------



## High Plains Drifter

Ordacleaphobia said:


> Had a dream last night where a buddy moved away and it got me surprisingly fucked up.
> This guy's the last person I know and still regularly hang out with that I grew up with. I'm not exactly a social butterfly, so meeting new people is an extremely slow and difficult process for me; but even if it wasn't, the realization that I can literally never have that same connection with another person again was tough.
> 
> I have other friends, but none that knew me when I was 13. And I mean I know he's not going anywhere right now, but realizing how fragile that aspect of my life is was kind of depressing because there's really nothing I can do about it. I can't just appear people that I've known for over a decade, and for whatever reason, I really want people in my life that understand me and who I am on that level.
> 
> Getting old sucks, man.



You prob know... this hit me in the feels pretty hard. I'm still trying to process the loss of my bud. It's one hell of a void and like you say... all but impossible to fill. Potential besties aren't exactly coming outta the woodwork like they were 20 yrs ago. My bud knew me prob better than my wife does and we had a connection like I've never had with any women that I've ever been with. I can't just replicate that... despite how close I am to my wife. Not a bad idea to communicate with those really close friends from time to time... let em know what they mean to you.


----------



## TedEH

One of my monitors exploded today. (Rokit 8 G2) They weren't the best monitors in the world, but I was used to them, and now my desk feels really bare with no monitors on it.


----------



## KnightBrolaire

Kentaro Miura died today. He's one of my all time favorite artists so I'm pretty upset. Plus he heavily inspired all the Dark Souls games (which are some of my favorite games) and their art direction. He was a fantastic artist and wrote some of the most iconic grimdark fantasy ever. 
Guess I better buy up the rest of the complete hardbound Berserk set before the weeb market goes insane


----------



## High Plains Drifter

Not sad but definitely disappointed that the "Some guitars are too funny not to post" thread got axed. Was a really humorous thread and I wish mods/ admin would consider opening it up again.


----------



## MaxOfMetal

High Plains Drifter said:


> Not sad but definitely disappointed that the "Some guitars are too funny not to post" thread got axed. Was a really humorous thread and I wish mods/ admin would consider opening it up again.



For you HPD? Anything. 

https://www.sevenstring.org/threads/some-guitars-are-too-funny-not-to-post.298929/

Y'all behave now.


----------



## TedEH

I hadn't even noticed it closed.


----------



## p0ke

Bleugh, gotta vent a little... Sorry, this is gonna be a long one.

Got my first dose of Comirnaty (covid vaccine, the Pfizer-Biontech one) yesterday. I'm actually happy about it, but my wife's absolutely terrified. I know it's a combination of many difficult things for her and she keeps saying "it's not about you", but how the fuck else am I supposed to take it if she keeps calling me an inconsiderate idiot all the time. I'm mostly mad at myself, because how could I fail to read the signals that this is the heaviest matter in the world to her? We talked about it several times before, and it's clear that _she_ isn't taking the vaccine yet, but I should've read between the lines that she doesn't want me to take it either. I would've certainly at least waited longer before taking it...

I guess I have to go a bit deeper into this to make any sense.

We've been talking about having another baby on and off for the past 2 years or so, but it just hasn't happened. I'm pretty sure it's just due to lack of sex - I mean, it's not completely absent, but for example when our daughter was conceived we were at it almost 24/7, so a few times a month or even less just isn't the same thing.
Anyway, she's blaming her age, overweight and stress for it. Sure, those probably factor in as well, but like I said, I don't think they're the main reason. And of course those are things that add to the risk of the baby being deformed - and now she's decided that the vaccine is the final nail it that coffin and the dream of having another baby is dead and buried.

According to what I've read, the vaccine hasn't shown any symptoms that have anything to do with reproduction. It's been tested on rats, with like 4x human dosage, and it hasn't affected their offspring in any way. But still, with the right search terms, my wife found some site stating that it's not recommended to try to get pregnant within a few months of the vaccination. She doesn't even know which vaccine I got, so it must've been some generic vaccination information.
So now according to her, I haven't done my homework and just went in blindly to get the vaccine. I have in fact read the entire data sheet for the vaccine several times and have read plenty of people's experiences with it.

Another thing she cried about yesterday was that "she's so scared of Covid in general, she can't even mention the name of it, and now you've injected it into yourself". I then explained to her that it's an mRNA vaccine, and what that basically means. She just shrugged that off, because "it's a new technology and you can't know what that'll do in the long term".
Apparently she's also worried that I'll die or get permanently disabled from the vaccine.

It's also her "that time of the month", which is not making the situation any easier, and some of it is also a build up of my general crankiness (been working from home too long + the work stuff I mentioned in the Mad-thread).


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## High Plains Drifter

@p0ke - Really hope that you and your girl can get back on track soon. This past year has def presented everyone with completely new challenges and fears so it's not hard to see where you both are coming from. Keep communicating and keep listening to each other. Best to you and your family, brother.


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## TedEH

Hold on - she's calling _you_ the inconsiderate idiot for _taking_ the vaccine? I mean, irony of that aside - taking a page from activists - it's your body, it's your choice. That whole paragraph sounds insanely paranoid - the kind of stuff you'd hear from someone with an anxiety disorder or something (I don't say that to be insensitive, maybe she actually does have some things to work through). Either way, relationship or not, anxiety or not, you're still your own person and my 2c is she has no right to dictate what you do, or to twist those choices into being about her. IMO don't let her treat you like a doormat. I can understand wanting to act as a unit and wanting to make choices as a pair, and wanting to be supportive of her anxieties, but there are limits. Hope you can work something out.


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## Demiurge

It seems that she was willing to make a unilateral decision for the household based on her opinion and unwilling to hear otherwise, so while ideally couples should try make decisions together, she's acting in bad faith.


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## p0ke

Thanks for the replies guys. I'm happy to say we got it sorted.
We had a long argument where neither of us made any sense, but in the end we got to the same wavelength. Apparently she didn't even realize how paranoid she was about the whole thing. Also we went beyond the matter and discussed what needs to improve in order for our family to stay together and healthy. (I need to be kinder towards the kids, mainly. I admit, I've been too strict since the start of the pandemic)
... And regarding the whole baby thing:
Apparently the general vaccine rule of thumb is that you should wait a couple of months before trying to get pregnant (don't know if it's just for women or for both parties), but she came to the conclusion that my current semen probably aren't affected yet, and since apparently today is the day of the month when such things are likely to happen...

I'm pretty sure the issue will resurface at some point as these things tend to do, but hopefully not in these proportions.


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## bostjan

Now that things are "getting back to normal" now that we are in a different phase of the pandemic, it's really sinking in how much I've lost in the process. My dad had just a couple years before covid started, and then in the last couple months, that side of the extended family was devastated by either the virus or sudden unexplained debilitating health problems. My mom's side of the family was always really small- everyone had only one or two kids and they all waited until they were older to have kids, so I haven't been close to anyone on that side of the family for ten years, other than my mom. To top that all off, my wife had a sort of falling out with her family around the time we got married. That leaves me feeling pretty isolated and kind of sad that my toddler son will grow up with literally one extended family member being a part of his life.


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## Mathemagician

bostjan said:


> Now that things are "getting back to normal" now that we are in a different phase of the pandemic, it's really sinking in how much I've lost in the process. My dad had just a couple years before covid started, and then in the last couple months, that side of the extended family was devastated by either the virus or sudden unexplained debilitating health problems. My mom's side of the family was always really small- everyone had only one or two kids and they all waited until they were older to have kids, so I haven't been close to anyone on that side of the family for ten years, other than my mom. To top that all off, my wife had a sort of falling out with her family around the time we got married. That leaves me feeling pretty isolated and kind of sad that my toddler son will grow up with literally one extended family member being a part of his life.



I am really sorry for what you’re feeling right now. I can imagine that is a rough realization. You looking for advice or just looking to vent?


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## bostjan

Mathemagician said:


> I am really sorry for what you’re feeling right now. I can imagine that is a rough realization. You looking for advice or just looking to vent?


Just venting, but advice is always appreciated.


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## Ordacleaphobia

p0ke said:


> Thanks for the replies guys. I'm happy to say we got it sorted.
> We had a long argument where neither of us made any sense, but in the end we got to the same wavelength. Apparently she didn't even realize how paranoid she was about the whole thing. Also we went beyond the matter and discussed what needs to improve in order for our family to stay together and healthy. (I need to be kinder towards the kids, mainly. I admit, I've been too strict since the start of the pandemic)
> ... And regarding the whole baby thing:
> Apparently the general vaccine rule of thumb is that you should wait a couple of months before trying to get pregnant (don't know if it's just for women or for both parties), but she came to the conclusion that my current semen probably aren't affected yet, and since apparently today is the day of the month when such things are likely to happen...
> 
> I'm pretty sure the issue will resurface at some point as these things tend to do, but hopefully not in these proportions.



It might, it might not, who knows. What matters is that you guys cared enough to talk it out and fix it. 
The whole thing is new and 'different,' and different is scary. Most people aren't doctors or scientists and don't really have a full understanding of everything that goes into that thing. We can read what they tell us, but that isn't the full picture. Coupled with the societal pressure to take it, and with issues in that arena being the most common thing that detractors will talk about, it's easy to see how it could scare someone. Especially if they're as scared of _the entire situation_ as it sounds like she is. Really can't fault either of you. Whole thing is just unfortunate. 

--

At the moment, I'm going through quite a painful separation. We've been together for over 5 years now. It's so hard to explain. 
This relationship has been tainted and toxic almost since it's inception. One of those situations where as an outsider you can tell neither party is happy, and you constantly wonder how or why they're still together. I can go on all day about how this needed to end a long time ago, and how unhappy we both clearly were, and how we both were doing a disservice to each other by keeping things going for so long- but the fact of the matter is that despite knowing all of this, and being the one to ultimately call it off, this still _*hurts like hell*_. 

Because there's always good times too, you know? And on top of that, there was a lot of...trauma...that really bonded us together. I also did all of my 'growing up' in this relationship. Got my first real job. Bought my house. Discovered what it was to be an actual real member of society. It's extremely bitter to realize that nobody else will ever know me like that, and will never go through that with me. I _*know*_ this is the right decision, but it still feels like I'm fucking my life up. 

And she isn't making it easy, either. We live together, but the house is mine. So while I'm waiting for her to move out, I'm still seeing her every day. And she won't stop begging me to call it off. Has been spending all day sifting through her phone and sending me old memories and photos of us from those good times. Keeps teeing up conversations to lead into a sucker punch intended to make me feel bad for her, and she's even played the 'I'm going to kill myself' card. The whole thing is being made to be as painful as it could possibly be. Which reinforces my conviction all the more, but at the same time...it really, really hurts to see all that. Especially since it leaves me with doubling down as my only answer, and I know that just hurts her more and more each time and despite all of the ugly shit she's done to me over the years, I really, really don't want to do that. 

I don't mean to shit the thread up with a bunch of esoteric melodrama that literally doesn't matter to or affect anybody else here, it's just...an awful lot right now. If any of you are in a similar situation, please, please walk away right now. I know you know that the longer you wait the harder it gets, I did too- but _*holy shit*_ does it get hard.


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## High Plains Drifter

Ordacleaphobia said:


> I don't mean to shit the thread up with a bunch of esoteric melodrama that literally doesn't matter to or affect anybody else here, it's just...an awful lot right now. If any of you are in a similar situation, please, please walk away right now. I know you know that the longer you wait the harder it gets, I did too- but _*holy shit*_ does it get hard.



You're not shitting up the thread and it's not melodrama. These are legitimate feelings and getting them out is absolutely understandable and justified. Please take care of yourself and remain true to what you feel is going to be best for you in the long-run. Much support and respect to you.


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## Mathemagician

bostjan said:


> Just venting, but advice is always appreciated.



No worries man. I’m not a parent so full disclosure. So I would think that for your concern just getting him involved in team sports and various activities (band, extreme ironing, debate club whatever) at least through the rough middle school years would do a lot to help socialize them and help them make a few decent friends. By that point even if they don’t care for playing sports much later on, they’ve gotten out there and met other kids and made friends. It’s just a good habit to have. 

The more people you meet the more likely you are to find a few people you want to keep around after all.


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## bostjan

Mathemagician said:


> No worries man. I’m not a parent so full disclosure. So I would think that for your concern just getting him involved in team sports and various activities (band, extreme ironing, debate club whatever) at least through the rough middle school years would do a lot to help socialize them and help them make a few decent friends. By that point even if they don’t care for playing sports much later on, they’ve gotten out there and met other kids and made friends. It’s just a good habit to have.
> 
> The more people you meet the more likely you are to find a few people you want to keep around after all.



Thanks!

Yeah, I was in pretty much every extracurricular activity possible growing up. We're trying to get him out of the house as much as possible, mainly because he spent almost all winter just in the house. Hopefully within the next year he'll be ready to do more outdoorsy stuff, so we can take him hiking at least.

Of all the extended family he has, he's only ever met his surviving grandparents. Last time my wife's parents skyped with him was just about a year ago. My mom talks to him on the phone pretty much every week. Either way, I'm sure he'll remember very little of what's happening now by the time he's old enough to process any of it.

BTW, what is extreme ironing? Like, ironing clothes?!

I guess no one's childhood really went the way it should have on paper. I grew up in a poverty-stricken part of Detroit in the 1980's where two of my neighbours were shot by the police, the corner "party" store was robbed basically every day, and I was stabbed/mugged/carjacked. All of that stuff seemed like a normal part of life until I moved away and suddenly none of my coworkers had ever been stabbed, mugged, nor carjacked in their lives. But, at least I had a bunch of aunts, uncles, great-aunts, cousins, second cousins, and grandparents to fall back on any time things got rough for my mom and dad. Maybe my blues has as much to do with the realization that everyone is old now and all of that support structure in my life has rusted away from the passage of time as it has to do with seeing how my son will likely never really know most of his extended family. Maybe I should have thought of that before I moved away- and probably a lot of it has to do with the fact that we are definitely much older than most couples starting a family.


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## p0ke

Ordacleaphobia said:


> Really can't fault either of you. Whole thing is just unfortunate.



It is, and it is a divisive matter for sure. She kept saying it's everyone's own choice before I took the vaccine, but afterwards she got so scared that she just couldn't take it and it exploded. But now we're basically back to normal, thank god.

Regarding your situation: don't worry about shitting the thread. This is the perfect place to vent, and if someone doesn't want to read it, they can just ignore the whole thread.
Just hang in there and let time heal the wounds. Of course it'll never be the same again, but a different kind of fine is always possible.



Mathemagician said:


> The more people you meet the more likely you are to find a few people you want to keep around after all.



This. Relatives are good to have as a safety net, but ultimately family isn't what kids will end up hanging out with. All sorts of activities and hobbies are good, because through them they'll learn how to interract with people, which makes it easier to get friends, and some friends become long term friends.
Take my situation for example: thanks to my upbringing I get along with almost anyone. I became friends with a classmate here after moving in 2008, and later I became friends with his friends. A few of them ended up becoming basically my family away from my actual family, and I met my wife through them. It's a bit of a butterfly effect, but ultimately all a result of not being afraid of getting to know new people.


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## ImNotAhab

It's 41C in Vancouver right now and I'm utterly miserable. We are in a freak high pressure zone and being from Ireland, I'm not designed for the heat. We have a portable AC and it's struggling against this oppressive wave of hellish oppression.

We don't appreciate winter when we have it.


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## thebeesknees22

It sounds brutal out there right now. So many of the apartments don't have A/C and down town is just an oven with all the buildings reflecting into each other. My first two apartments never had A/C in Vancouver, so I know the feeling all too well. Good luck friend! You just need to survive through Wednesday, and you'll be free! haha


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## bostjan

Those portable AC's are trash.

I can't even imagine what the West Coast is going through right now. 46 °C in Portland? Sounds like a nightmare to me. I don't think I had ever experienced anything even as high as 38 °C, and that was not my idea of a good time.

I'd much rather deal with the winter here than the summer there. -40 °C nightly lows in Jan/Feb, but we can always just stay indoors and run the furnace. Sure everything outside turns to powder, but I'd rather stay inside an be halfway comfortable for two weeks than have nowhere to go and melt and not be able to sleep for 3-4 days.


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## KnightBrolaire

bostjan said:


> Those portable AC's are trash.
> 
> I can't even imagine what the West Coast is going through right now. 46 °C in Portland? Sounds like a nightmare to me. I don't think I had ever experienced anything even as high as 38 °C, and that was not my idea of a good time.
> 
> I'd much rather deal with the winter here than the summer there. -40 °C nightly lows in Jan/Feb, but we can always just stay indoors and run the furnace. Sure everything outside turns to powder, but I'd rather stay inside an be halfway comfortable for two weeks than have nowhere to go and melt and not be able to sleep for 3-4 days.


I was in Portland a few weeks ago and it was like 30C. Most of the time I was in the PNW it barely broke 27C (when it wasn't raining anyways). I'm sure they're miserable up there because they basically don't get this kind of heat.

I was in joshua tree/vegas a few days ago and it was around 41C at 0700 and 43 by 1200. At least in the PNW they have some tree/cloud coverage and water to mitigate the heat. Plus you can always go up to Rainier and play in the snow (there was still multiple feet of snow in the pass when I hiked up there a few weeks ago lol).


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## Ordacleaphobia

bostjan said:


> I can't even imagine what the West Coast is going through right now.
> I'd much rather deal with the winter here than the summer there.



Yeah it's been over 110°F here pretty much every day for the last...two weeks? Something like that. Not unusual either, our summers here are brutal.
I definitely agree. At least in winter you're just varying degrees of uncomfortable. Something about the heat just sucks the life out of me. Just so unmotivated to do....anything. Yardwork? lol. Leaving the house? Yeah right- my car is probably 130° right now and that black leather interior is hotter than the surface of the sun. I can still go out or do manual labor during the winter. Summer just makes me want to sit around and be a useless dirtbag all season.

Granted- I've never lived in an area where the climate is routinely susceptible to subzero temperatures, but I've definitely always been more of a cold guy.


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## p0ke

Ordacleaphobia said:


> Yeah it's been over 110°F here pretty much every day for the last...two weeks? Something like that. Not unusual either, our summers here are brutal.
> I definitely agree. At least in winter you're just varying degrees of uncomfortable. Something about the heat just sucks the life out of me. Just so unmotivated to do....anything. Yardwork? lol. Leaving the house? Yeah right- my car is probably 130° right now and that black leather interior is hotter than the surface of the sun. I can still go out or do manual labor during the winter. Summer just makes me want to sit around and be a useless dirtbag all season.
> 
> Granted- I've never lived in an area where the climate is routinely susceptible to subzero temperatures, but I've definitely always been more of a cold guy.



Both extremes basically do the same thing though. In the summer you just want to sit under the AC all day and in the winter you just want to sit by the fireplace... That said, I'm more of a cold guy too. When it's cold you can always put more clothes on or burn some wood in the fireplace or whatever, but when it's super hot there isn't that much you can do about it. These days I have AC, but previously all I could do was open some windows and that really doesn't do much, especially when it's even hotter outside. And thanks to the climate here, the temperature doesn't drop that much even in the night. Might be around 30°C (86°F) in the day and then drop to just under 20° (68°F) in the night, which isn't enough to cool down properly. 

And damn, 110°F... That's like above 40°C. I'd probably die immediately in those temperatures


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## bostjan

Just checked the high from yesterday in Portland - 46.7°C (116 °F). I think I would seriously potentially die if I was left outside in that heat.


Ordacleaphobia said:


> Yeah it's been over 110°F here pretty much every day for the last...two weeks? Something like that. Not unusual either, our summers here are brutal.
> I definitely agree. At least in winter you're just varying degrees of uncomfortable. Something about the heat just sucks the life out of me. Just so unmotivated to do....anything. Yardwork? lol. Leaving the house? Yeah right- my car is probably 130° right now and that black leather interior is hotter than the surface of the sun. I can still go out or do manual labor during the winter. Summer just makes me want to sit around and be a useless dirtbag all season.
> 
> Granted- I've never lived in an area where the climate is routinely susceptible to subzero temperatures, but I've definitely always been more of a cold guy.



When it's -40°, you seriously need to stay inside. Setting foot outside for even a few seconds can have weird effects on the human body. Boogers and snot freeze in your nostrils. Couple that with the fact that the air becomes an irritant and you have a surgical mask made of frost covering your face within minutes.

But walking from the house to the car isn't that bad, really, once you're used to it. Walking any more than a few hundred feet, though, it can actually literally be dangerous. There was some college student here a couple of years ago who tried to walk across a parking lot in that sort of weather, and he died. No previously known health conditions, it's just that once you stop moving for any reason, everything literally freezes up slowly, so it just keeps getting more difficult to move until you physically can't anymore.

46.7 °C, I don't even know what would happen to me. I've never been in any climate like that. I just picture myself turning into a giant raisin.


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## LordCashew

bostjan said:


> Just checked the high from yesterday in Portland - 46.7°C (116 °F). I think I would seriously potentially die if I was left outside in that heat.



Wow, that is absolutely bonkers. I thought it was supposed to be nicer up there than in northern CA, but we've stayed at a "reasonable" 110 F or under where I live.


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## Seabeast2000

We are rocking a balmy 102 in phx right now. So far beats the shit out last year's odd dry blazing hell season.


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## thebeesknees22

Looks like there have been quite a few deaths in Vancouver. I was afraid that would happen since a lot of people and nursing homes don't have A/C there.


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## p0ke

bostjan said:


> When it's -40°, you seriously need to stay inside. Setting foot outside for even a few seconds can have weird effects on the human body. Boogers and snot freeze in your nostrils. Couple that with the fact that the air becomes an irritant and you have a surgical mask made of frost covering your face within minutes.



Yup, luckily it's quite rare that it'll drop that low even in northern Finland. We usually get a week or two of -20-25°C per winter and even that's cold af. I remember one new years eve when the temperature dropped to around -35°C - I was meeting a friend at the bus station and my beer froze in the can before I could drink it


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## bostjan

p0ke said:


> I was meeting a friend at the bus station and my beer froze in the can before I could drink it


Why do I feel like that's a super-relatable sad story for Nordic and Canadian people alike?

I had an incident once (coldest day I ever experienced) in which a gas/petrol dispensation pump froze while I was fueling up my car. Usually fuel is mixed with ethanol here to keep it from freezing, but, evidently, not always. The fuel froze right in the hose connecting the handle to the pump and it caused the hose to burst out the side. I'm guessing there were other factors (maybe an old hose or overzealous pump) that contributed. It was a pretty exciting morning.


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## Ordacleaphobia

bostjan said:


> Walking any more than a few hundred feet, though, it can actually literally be dangerous. There was some college student here a couple of years ago who tried to walk across a parking lot in that sort of weather, and he died. No previously known health conditions, it's just that once you stop moving for any reason, everything literally freezes up slowly, so it just keeps getting more difficult to move until you physically can't anymore.



Yeah, that's why I had that little disclaimer in there 
I remember that story, though. Crazy. Wasn't there another one that same year of a guy that lost a glove trying to walk home, and it wound up costing him a couple fingers or something? 



bostjan said:


> I had an incident once (coldest day I ever experienced) in which a gas/petrol dispensation pump froze while I was fueling up my car. Usually fuel is mixed with ethanol here to keep it from freezing, but, evidently, not always. The fuel froze right in the hose connecting the handle to the pump and it caused the hose to burst out the side. I'm guessing there were other factors (maybe an old hose or overzealous pump) that contributed. It was a pretty exciting morning.



Hah, I bet; that's wild, dude.  
I don't have any fun weather stories. Heat's not very exciting.


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## p0ke

bostjan said:


> Why do I feel like that's a super-relatable sad story for Nordic and Canadian people alike?



Haha... Like I said though, it's not very common for the temperature to drop that low and I don't recall beer freezing very quickly at say, -20°C. Not that I'd drink beer outside at those temps very often though...



bostjan said:


> I had an incident once (coldest day I ever experienced) in which a gas/petrol dispensation pump froze while I was fueling up my car. Usually fuel is mixed with ethanol here to keep it from freezing, but, evidently, not always. The fuel froze right in the hose connecting the handle to the pump and it caused the hose to burst out the side. I'm guessing there were other factors (maybe an old hose or overzealous pump) that contributed. It was a pretty exciting morning.



Strangely I've never heard about anything like that happening over here. I guess our fuel always has enough ethanol not to freeze. Diesel is the only fuel over here that has separate summer and winter types...


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## Schmeer

Not sure whether to put this in the “Why I’m sad” or in the “Why I’m mad” thread.
It’s probably a bit of both 

Just experienced what’s called a “distal biceps tendon rupture”, ie. the tendon in my left bicep ruptured at the elbow. I’d say it was pretty painful, but ironically I’ve been in a lot more pain after the surgery. The worst thing though, is not being able to play any guitar whatsoever for at least the next 6 weeks  And recovery is expected to take as long as 6 months. I just hope there won’t be any complications down the line.

On the plus side, living in Norway, I don’t have to pay for the surgery or the meds and I don’t have to worry about losing any income so I guess parts of this post belongs in the “happy” thread as well


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## soliloquy

i've been in random mood swings for a while.
just spoke to my doctor yesterday, and as per her, i have sever depression and anxiety. 
anxiety, i knew. I think i've had a (self-diagnosed) high-functioning anxiety most of my life. I almost always did everything with a heavy heart. it never prevented me from doing or living my life. 
but this depression is new. 

ive been neglecting myself for such a long period of time, and trying to rescue everyone else around me, and its starting to take its toll. hopefully this is a short battle and i can come back on top with a healthier mindset. 

i dont like the way my mind associates me with my work so much. At the end of the day, i am a number, and a corporate cog that is easily replaceable. so why am i stressing so much over it? why am i trying to be a perfect employee (or perfect son, brother, friend, lover, pet-care-taker etc), when i'm not giving the same energy to be the 'perfect' me. 

without me, there isn't a son or brother (in my family). without me, there isnt a friend (within my friend group), and without me, there is no corporate cog (in that respective field). if i'm not right in the head, then those other self-associated titles mean nothing...


*sigh


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## Demiurge

soliloquy said:


> i dont like the way my mind associates me with my work so much. At the end of the day, i am a number, and a corporate cog that is easily replaceable. so why am i stressing so much over it? why am i trying to be a perfect employee (or perfect son, brother, friend, lover, pet-care-taker etc), when i'm not giving the same energy to be the 'perfect' me.



I know that everybody's experience is different, but I used to be pretty good about compartmentalization and work/life balance until the pandemic. Certainly, there was the component of one's home becoming the workplace (which I still think carries more positive than negative) and a growing workload, but there was the shrinking of everything else. Can't see friends. Can't go out. Can't go on vacation. Work quietly found itself as the new center of life and it's such a dismal feeling. I had a similar feeling: why is this more important than everything else- let alone my mental health?

I hope things will get better for everyone as things return to normal, but at the same time there's some manner of reckoning regarding work/life balance that comes out of this.


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## soliloquy

Demiurge said:


> I know that everybody's experience is different, but I used to be pretty good about compartmentalization and work/life balance until the pandemic. Certainly, there was the component of one's home becoming the workplace (which I still think carries more positive than negative) and a growing workload, but there was the shrinking of everything else. Can't see friends. Can't go out. Can't go on vacation. Work quietly found itself as the new center of life and it's such a dismal feeling. I had a similar feeling: why is this more important than everything else- let alone my mental health?
> 
> I hope things will get better for everyone as things return to normal, but at the same time there's some manner of reckoning regarding work/life balance that comes out of this.


funnily enough, both Sweden and Iceland tried a 3 day weekend project for a few months, and both came with glowing results.
And if i'm not mistaken, certain Scandinavian countries also use Wednesday as a half day, so further split the week up better.

i understand the gravity of my work that i do (Anti Money Laundering), in that if i'm not good at my job, i'm letting criminals get away with something. But the flip side is that even if i catch someone, i am still powerless until the cops do something about it independent on what i do. my country's laws prevent me from telling the cops or anything about my findings. as such, in a way, even if i'm successful, people will be used/abused by the criminal i'm investigating.

as such, i lose regardless of what i do


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## TedEH

It's important not to confuse "working fewer hours" with "doing less work" though. Doing more work while less rested can end up with less produced work, or lower quality work. I'm clearly no expert on the matter, but I think it makes a lot of sense that people will do their best work with access to appropriate breaks.


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## TedEH

I've got a mild rant that maybe fits somewhere between the sad thread and the first world problems thread, or maybe neither but I'm kinda weirdly exhausted and it doesn't really matter.

Short of it is that I'm getting exhausted from spending so much of my time in the service of other people. And it's less that I don't want to be helpful, but more that it would be nice to socialize without some element of having to take on someone's burdens. 

With restrictions starting to lift, there's been more opportunity to talk to people but every outing seems to inevitably turn into an emotion dump about everyone elses struggles or something like that. I met a couple of coworkers for the first time in over a year and we ended up talking about how one of them is upset that he has no dating life and thinks this reflects some major character flaw in himself. I saw another friend not long ago who got completely plastered and got stuck in a loop telling the story of their recent mental health disorder diagnosis. My sister invites me to come by, and now I'm learning that one of the kids has gotten out of hand and abusive, and the usual social supports haven't been helping. Another friend has been getting random visits from an ex who they're kind of afraid of, and super inappropriate/disappointing comments from family, and stories about being raised in abusive environments and how that still carries over into present day attitudes about things.

I feel like normally I can bear this stuff - 'cause it's not really "my problems", so I can just go home and relax later, but sometimes there's just no break from it. This is in between continuing to help that friend of mine who broke her leg - I took Monday off because another surgery was needed. The hospital doing the day surgeries was about 40 minutes away, so that killed a lot of the day, which was fine, made for a nice drive and an excuse not to work that day, but also was stupidly early meaning a lot of sleep was lost, and needing to stick around after everything was done to make sure that things would be in order and safe. I moved some furniture around to make the place wheelchair accessible again, made some food ('cause I know if I didn't, she'd have tried to cook for me on a freshly-surgery'd leg), things like that. Handful of just regular chores taken care of that become impossible to do when you're stuck in a wheelchair. 

I was preparing myself to give up some time after work maybe a day or two this week to go back and make sure she doesn't do anything crazy while recovering, since she lives alone with a dog and stuff still needs to get done - when I get a message from some family basically saying "hey, you need to take our dog from Thursday to Sunday 'cause we're going fishing" - apparently I agreed to this at some point and I don't remember. So now I'm starting the week tired, watching an injured person, and dog-sitting.

It feels petty to complain about _other people's problems_, but it just gets really draining sometimes.


----------



## BlackMastodon

Meme thread gone. We can't have nice things.


----------



## High Plains Drifter

Not even just locked... gone completely.


----------



## MFB

I'll more miss it as a catalogue of the posts without memes reacting accordingly to whatever it was, and seeing how humor has changed in the 10 years(?) since it started. I mean hell, remember back on the internet was bacon/epic/rage comics/etc were all "THE. THING." and now it's all surreal/anti-humor or 'deep fried'/'dank' memes? Shit's wild.

The memes themselves? Eh, half the links are broken on them or are just from any generic FB/reddit metal meme page(s), no void that can't be filled.


----------



## BlackMastodon

I'm mostly upset about the decades long, 400 page legacy that is gone. Like you said, the memes have changed so much to the point where most of the early links were broken but it was just nice to see it as a monument to our stupid niche memes.


----------



## Demiurge

It's sad that (god save me) forum "history" has been erased, but alas cool threads getting nuked because people can't not be dicks is arguably an equal part of history, too.


----------



## narad

I'm sad I missed all this meme thread drama because of living in a weird timezone. Sad that thread got shut down, but it was getting weirdly competitive between a few people. Every time I checked it more random memes were flagged and vanished.


----------



## BenjaminW

My fucking parents are separating.


----------



## thebeesknees22

Sorry dude.

My dad's been divorced 3 times. That probably doesn't make you feel better though.


----------



## p0ke

BenjaminW said:


> My fucking parents are separating.



Sorry man 

My parents separated when I was 11 (I think) and my dad moved to Australia. I've seen him 5 times since. Hopefully your parents won't move far apart so you can still see both equally.

Anyway, if they're separating, chances are you'll get more undivided attention from both of them separately. Also TBH where it hurts the most is christmas etc that you're used to celebrating together.


----------



## BenjaminW

p0ke said:


> Sorry man
> 
> My parents separated when I was 11 (I think) and my dad moved to Australia. I've seen him 5 times since. Hopefully your parents won't move far apart so you can still see both equally.
> 
> Anyway, if they're separating, chances are you'll get more undivided attention from both of them separately. Also TBH where it hurts the most is christmas etc that you're used to celebrating together.


The plan so far is that my mom is moving out into an apartment while my dad keeps our house, so it'll be my brother and I until he goes back to college with my dad, and then I'll be home for another year before I go off to college as well. 

Luckily, I'm not at the point in life where I would be going back and forth between houses every week or so and I can spend my time with both parents whenever I want to. 

All of us in the family hope that by the time Christmas and Thanksgiving roll around that things are patched up and that we don't have to deal with separate Christmases and Thanksgivings.


----------



## High Plains Drifter

@BenjaminW

Coming from divorced parents ( separated first), I just want to say that I'm sorry, dude... truly. 

But I just want to share quickly some things that I experienced... 

My parent's divorce was very hard at first... for both of them. I think that they both felt guilty and felt very vulnerable as well. But that was initially. What transpired long-term was very positive. They were both good people but they didn't do well together. Both my mom and my dad remarried eventually and they both married people that sincerely complimented them. My step-dad was about the best thing that ever happened to my mom and to a lesser extent ( imo) my step-mom brought out a lot of good things in my dad that in his first marriage to my mom, remained buried.

And also it was quite nice to interact with my parents one on one as their divorce got further in the rear-view. They were different people after they split from one another and they were more "themselves" and obviously happier too. This wasn't initially, as my dad I think had the toughest part of it ( felt very alone cause his partner and children were no longer by his side). But in the long run, that loneliness didn't last cause we loved him and made sure to spend time with him. They also became very good friends which I guess was next to impossible for them to be while they were married. They remained pretty close for the rest of their lives and I think that they both appreciated and respected each other much more after separating, than they were ever able to do while married. 

Anyway.. Best of luck to your whole family. Y'all will get thru this and likely will be better off in the long run. Always remember that this is about them and they both deserve to be happy ( and eventually... even if it doesn't seem like it now) they both probably will be.


----------



## John

My old mic preamp just kicked the bucket. What's more disheartening to me is that it does have some sentimental value- I used it all over the place for the albums I've released.


----------



## wheresthefbomb




----------



## wheresthefbomb

BenjaminW said:


> All of us in the family hope that by the time Christmas and Thanksgiving roll around that things are patched up and that we don't have to deal with separate Christmases and Thanksgivings.



My condolences, man. That sucks and there's nothing anyone can say that makes it better or measures up to all the feels. 

My parents split when I was 7. Nothing ever got patched up, my Mother never moved on or forgave my Father, and my Father is still more or less the same jerk she left a lifetime ago. I saw my mother this summer when I graduated university and it was mostly really hard. Being around her old wounds, feeling afresh the ways they'd affected me as a kid.

Christmas was always the worst. Dad made more money, so Mom felt insecure about Xmas being "better" there (ie we got more stuff), probably spent a lot of money she didn't have on credit cards, and would lash out at us when her insecurity become too much to hold in.



I say all of this because what I've learned was that, one, they absolutely did The Right Thing not trying to "stay together for the kids." All else aside, they obviously didn't get along and would've fucked us all up way worse trying. 

Two, and this one is still a work in progress, but none of the above shit was my fault, I couldn't have done anything to make any of it better, and I am not my parents' mistakes. 

There's no easy way to be the whole, unified product of a fractured relationship. There's an inherent contradiction in there. But you're a whole person all by yourself, and though our parents share their traumas with us, we still get to decide.

My heart goes out to you.


----------



## Furtive Glance

My new job isn't working out very well and it will be very, very expensive to bail out. Eugh.


----------



## wheresthefbomb

Furtive Glance said:


> My new job isn't working out very well and it will be very, very expensive to bail out. Eugh.



My condolences. Work stuff is the worst. There's always another way, you'll know the right path is when you see it.


----------



## p0ke

Had a flood in the basement the other day. I had added water to the central heating system and somehow left the valve open. It doesn't seem like it did any major damage, but now we have these drying machines running until at least next week and then we'll see what happens.


----------



## TheBolivianSniper

Not only did that guy take the Kahler off, he sold that LP. I would've taken it back easily, that thing was a monster.


----------



## nightflameauto

Everything. Literally, everything.

My wife, as much as I love her, is going through some sort of mental episode where, late at night, she gets really sobby / angry and rants and raves and makes no sense. It breaks my heart. And nothing I do or say stops her, and it keeps me up all hours. And the next day she doesn't remember. It's been weeks since I've gotten a full nights sleep.

I go to pick up crickets and dog chews yesterday for the pets, and grab food on the way home. I get home and the crickets aren't in the bag. I call them, they say they're still sitting on the counter. So I have to leave the food so the wife can eat while I run back to the store. Then the fuckers want to charge me for the crickets still sitting there in another bag. Which ended in me having to explain the whole situation to yet another person before they'd let me leave with them. By the time I got home my food was basically cold mush. What's really fucked up is this ended up being one of my better nights in weeks. Shit like this is just standard issue for me anymore.

It's been so long since I've had any time for myself I can't even remember what it's like to have a guitar in my hands.

One of the few things I do do anymore is bake things for the coworkers for Friday. So yesterday morning I put together a slow rise sourdough garlic pizza crust. Last night I took about an hour to fold and roll them out into several smaller crusts and was planning on putting together pepperoni calzones with them this morning. I typically get up between three and four AM so I have time to do it right before heading into work. Well, slight issue. No fucking power today. I don't wake up until around five. And the lack of power means I'll be throwing away about a pound and a half of my good high gluten pizza crust flour. So I got that going for me to.

On top of everything, pretty sure the wife is pissed off at me because I put the harnesses on the wrong dogs this morning before our walk. Sorry, I guess pitch black meant I couldn't tell which dog was which. Not like the dogs care, but apparently she does.

No ice for my water today since I didn't dare open the freezer to get it. I feel like a pile of shit since I haven't had good sleep in so damn long. I have a half day of work, and I already told the wife when I get home I'm going to bed and I better get to sleep. Guarantee something will blow up in the house to prevent that from happening by the time I'm back.

I'm tired. I'm broken. I have nothing left in the tank. Life can kiss my fat sweaty asshole.


----------



## High Plains Drifter

nightflameauto said:


> Everything. Literally, everything.
> 
> My wife, as much as I love her, is going through some sort of mental episode where, late at night, she gets really sobby / angry and rants and raves and makes no sense. It breaks my heart. And nothing I do or say stops her, and it keeps me up all hours. And the next day she doesn't remember. It's been weeks since I've gotten a full nights sleep.
> 
> I go to pick up crickets and dog chews yesterday for the pets, and grab food on the way home. I get home and the crickets aren't in the bag. I call them, they say they're still sitting on the counter. So I have to leave the food so the wife can eat while I run back to the store. Then the fuckers want to charge me for the crickets still sitting there in another bag. Which ended in me having to explain the whole situation to yet another person before they'd let me leave with them. By the time I got home my food was basically cold mush. What's really fucked up is this ended up being one of my better nights in weeks. Shit like this is just standard issue for me anymore.
> 
> It's been so long since I've had any time for myself I can't even remember what it's like to have a guitar in my hands.
> 
> One of the few things I do do anymore is bake things for the coworkers for Friday. So yesterday morning I put together a slow rise sourdough garlic pizza crust. Last night I took about an hour to fold and roll them out into several smaller crusts and was planning on putting together pepperoni calzones with them this morning. I typically get up between three and four AM so I have time to do it right before heading into work. Well, slight issue. No fucking power today. I don't wake up until around five. And the lack of power means I'll be throwing away about a pound and a half of my good high gluten pizza crust flour. So I got that going for me to.
> 
> On top of everything, pretty sure the wife is pissed off at me because I put the harnesses on the wrong dogs this morning before our walk. Sorry, I guess pitch black meant I couldn't tell which dog was which. Not like the dogs care, but apparently she does.
> 
> No ice for my water today since I didn't dare open the freezer to get it. I feel like a pile of shit since I haven't had good sleep in so damn long. I have a half day of work, and I already told the wife when I get home I'm going to bed and I better get to sleep. Guarantee something will blow up in the house to prevent that from happening by the time I'm back.
> 
> I'm tired. I'm broken. I have nothing left in the tank. Life can kiss my fat sweaty asshole.



Man... I'm just trying to get rid of the image of your wife eating a chew toy. 

Dude... I'm really sorry to hear that you're in such a rough spot atm and I sincerely hope that you're able to get some things moving in a positive direction. I'm personally dealing with ( and avoiding dealing with) some pretty tough things atm too. On top of a bunch of lousy curve balls that have been thrown at me lately, I was in an accident today with an unlicensed/ uninsured driver.... just... "Fuck!" Sucks that on top of so much crap, I now have to deal with this mess. But I guess like the old adage goes.. "when it rains, it pours" 

Please don't hesitate to communicate with anyone that you can to try to get some support. Hopefully you and your wife can communicate about some of your stress and anxiety as well. We all need to have support, man. Again... I truly hope that things turn around for you soon so that you can gain some degree of solace. Take care, brother.


----------



## AwakenTheSkies

My blood cholesterol results are very scary, and I'm only 23. It was a problem since I was a child, it got better and now it's back. I hope it was just my crazy diet. I'd like to say otherwise but honestly I'm pretty terrified of dying, or having a heart attack or stroke at a young age. Ever since I found out I'm so distracted, feels like there's an invisible wall between the world and me. I'm on a diet now and the next test is in a month.


----------



## jaxadam

AwakenTheSkies said:


> My blood cholesterol results are very scary, and I'm only 23. It was a problem since I was a child, it got better and now it's back. I hope it was just my crazy diet. I'd like to say otherwise but honestly I'm pretty terrified of dying, or having a heart attack or stroke at a young age. Ever since I found out I'm so distracted, feels like there's an invisible wall between the world and me. I'm on a diet now and the next test is in a month.



What was your diet, and what is it now?


----------



## AwakenTheSkies

jaxadam said:


> What was your diet, and what is it now?



I ate a lot and really dirty, since whatever I eat I don't get fat and I was lifting weights 6-7 days a week. I ate 4 whole eggs every day (most likely culprit?), lots of white bread, peanut butter, white pasta, white rice, chicken, beef, everything fried. Pizza once a week. A can of baked beans every day. Some fruit.

Now I eat oatmeal, fruit, I cut out the yolks and only eat the egg whites now (boiled), also eat whole grain rice, pasta, whey protein, lentils, baked beans, salmon and cook chicken or turkey with very little olive oil. Walnuts, almonds, flax seeds and take fish oil supplements, Omega 3 and Mangesium/calcium supplement. I should be doing some cardio too but I don't have time since I am working night shifts. I don't know if 1 month is enough to make a difference.


----------



## nightflameauto

High Plains Drifter said:


> Man... I'm just trying to get rid of the image of your wife eating a chew toy.
> 
> Dude... I'm really sorry to hear that you're in such a rough spot atm and I sincerely hope that you're able to get some things moving in a positive direction. I'm personally dealing with ( and avoiding dealing with) some pretty tough things atm too. On top of a bunch of lousy curve balls that have been thrown at me lately, I was in an accident today with an unlicensed/ uninsured driver.... just... "Fuck!" Sucks that on top of so much crap, I now have to deal with this mess. But I guess like the old adage goes.. "when it rains, it pours"
> 
> Please don't hesitate to communicate with anyone that you can to try to get some support. Hopefully you and your wife can communicate about some of your stress and anxiety as well. We all need to have support, man. Again... I truly hope that things turn around for you soon so that you can gain some degree of solace. Take care, brother.


Thanks, man. Sorry to hear of your troubles as well.

I always try to remember, "this too shall pass."

Weekend was another few kicks to the throat. The major one being a brown out that resulted in several hours without power and then the power company leaving one of the cables down between two poles. I'm talking down along our trees and touching the ground in a few places. So I have to walk the dogs in the front yard until they get that strung back up. Which the dogs love, but sucks up a lot of time as they're used to roaming the back yard for hours at a time.

Gotta love it.


----------



## StevenC

AwakenTheSkies said:


> I ate a lot and really dirty, since whatever I eat I don't get fat and I was lifting weights 6-7 days a week. I ate 4 whole eggs every day (most likely culprit?), lots of white bread, peanut butter, white pasta, white rice, chicken, beef, everything fried. Pizza once a week. A can of baked beans every day. Some fruit.
> 
> Now I eat oatmeal, fruit, I cut out the yolks and only eat the egg whites now (boiled), also eat whole grain rice, pasta, whey protein, lentils, baked beans, salmon and cook chicken or turkey with very little olive oil. Walnuts, almonds, flax seeds and take fish oil supplements, Omega 3 and Mangesium/calcium supplement. I should be doing some cardio too but I don't have time since I am working night shifts. I don't know if 1 month is enough to make a difference.


Egg yolks aren't bad for you, they contain cholesterol but there isn't a strong link between them and causing blood cholesterol. The main culprit will be beef and fried food. 1 month will probably show if what you're doing if helping.


----------



## AwakenTheSkies

StevenC said:


> Egg yolks aren't bad for you, they contain cholesterol but there isn't a strong link between them and causing blood cholesterol. The main culprit will be beef and fried food. 1 month will probably show if what you're doing if helping.



Yeah man we'll see. I don't know, my doctor was pretty alerted about it. She was about to put me on statins but considered a diet when I told her what I was eating. I don't want to do statins at 23. My thing has always been (very) high LDL and low triglycerides combo. And my blood type apparently makes me have a lower risk for heart problems but my LDL cholesterol says otherwise. Idk I'm pretty scared.

LOL to add to the craziness the same day I got the bad news I was walking barefoot around the house and my mother was distracted and stepped on my foot. Ripped my big toenail right off. I had to finish pulling the toenail out. I've been changing bangages 2 times a day and it has sucked, it's painful to disinfect, and the bandages get stuck to the wounds. But it's getting better.


----------



## TedEH

Someone from our local metal/shows community passed away. I've no idea what happened, and I didn't know him on a very personal level, but it's still sad.


----------



## StevenC

AwakenTheSkies said:


> Yeah man we'll see. I don't know, my doctor was pretty alerted about it. She was about to put me on statins but considered a diet when I told her what I was eating. I don't want to do statins at 23. My thing has always been (very) high LDL and low triglycerides combo. And my blood type apparently makes me have a lower risk for heart problems but my LDL cholesterol says otherwise. Idk I'm pretty scared.
> 
> LOL to add to the craziness the same day I got the bad news I was walking barefoot around the house and my mother was distracted and stepped on my foot. Ripped my big toenail right off. I had to finish pulling the toenail out. I've been changing bangages 2 times a day and it has sucked, it's painful to disinfect, and the bandages get stuck to the wounds. But it's getting better.


That's good that your doctor changed her opinion, but really shows that there's capacity to change things in that time or at least show capacity for improvement. I hope it helps but don't feel so bad about being on medication at that age, I'm on anticoagulants at 27 and I'd much prefer that to not making it to 27. Good luck and do your best to stick to the diet, it can be really hard!


----------



## jaxadam

Just found out a friend of mine committed suicide this morning.


----------



## nightflameauto

jaxadam said:


> Just found out a friend of mine committed suicide this morning.


Condolences, man. Having been there, it sucks hard. I'm so sorry for you and this person's other friends and family.

If you want to chat about it, hit me up.


----------



## DorianEarnest

Work is getting really overwhelming these days


----------



## thebeesknees22

DorianEarnest said:


> Work is getting really overwhelming these days



Stay strong brothah! hard times will pass and good days lie ahead ᕦ(ò_óˇ)


----------



## thebeesknees22

well... damn.... My first BYOC attempt is a failure. Bypass works! ...but not on ha

I misread the directions in a couple of spots and it turned into a mess trying to fix it. Learned a lot though, but I don't know that there's any saving this one. Kinda F'd up the foot switch, and one of the PCB connections trying to fix the wiring mistake 

I'll try again someday. I think I could do it if I had another fresh go at it.


----------



## p0ke

thebeesknees22 said:


> well... damn.... My first BYOC attempt is a failure. Bypass works! ...but not on ha
> 
> I misread the directions in a couple of spots and it turned into a mess trying to fix it. Learned a lot though, but I don't know that there's any saving this one. Kinda F'd up the foot switch, and one of the PCB connections trying to fix the wiring mistake
> 
> I'll try again someday. I think I could do it if I had another fresh go at it.



Unless you burned something, I'm pretty sure you could still get it to work. You just need one of those solder vacuum things to clean it up and then you just go again.


----------



## thebeesknees22

ooooh I did not have one of those and i totally did burn a section trying to rework it. Good to know about those! I'll pick one up. they look pretty cheap

Thanks dude!


----------



## KnightBrolaire

watching the Sopranos and the son has a Politics of Ecstasy poster. RIP Warrel.


----------



## sleewell

my son had a couple of his friends over this weekend to play. i guess one of them told my wife that his dad hung himself and that he was having a really good time at our house. 


i cant even imagine. that poor kid. 


man you just never know what people are going through. every day with your loved ones is a gift.


----------



## TheBolivianSniper

got my ST 7 today and it's gorgeous, with some tweaks it sounds pretty good and it feels like a better version of my ST currently 

but hooooly fret sprout, it's pretty terrible, I asked the seller about if it's just humidity, I did some things to rehydrate the ebony and I'm hoping it works but if it doesn't I'm gonna be pissed

I was hoping not to put money into either 7 and I'm already thinking both are gonna need some


----------



## TheBolivianSniper

got my ST 7 today and it's gorgeous, with some tweaks it sounds pretty good and it feels like a better version of my ST currently 

but hooooly fret sprout, it's pretty terrible, I asked the seller about if it's just humidity, I did some things to rehydrate the ebony and I'm hoping it works but if it doesn't I'm gonna be pissed

I was hoping not to put money into either 7 and I'm already thinking both are gonna need some, refinishes and tuners on both, probably pickups on both as well but definitely on the ST, the stealth is at least close to what I like BUT NEITHER ARE BAD, I also think the ST's finish is so thick it's killing sustain though and it might need a fret job if I can't fix this sprout


----------



## maliciousteve

I feel like I've lost my sense of purpose.

I have a wife and daughter. We bought our first house a couple of years ago and I finally got my own guitar room. But I just feel like something is still missing. I don't have that fire in my belly that I had during my college days, where I felt I could do anything and find things rewarding. Now, things are a slog and I struggle to find joy in most things.


----------



## thebeesknees22

That's normal after accomplishing something where you feel like you've made it and checked all the boxes. in time this or that will come up and that drive will spark again. 

I wouldn't sweat it too much. Life happens at some point and forces you to get off your butt and do something somewhere along the way ha


----------



## p0ke

maliciousteve said:


> I feel like I've lost my sense of purpose.
> 
> I have a wife and daughter. We bought our first house a couple of years ago and I finally got my own guitar room. But I just feel like something is still missing. I don't have that fire in my belly that I had during my college days, where I felt I could do anything and find things rewarding. Now, things are a slog and I struggle to find joy in most things.



Pretty much same here. Everything's great on paper, but life just feels like a chore all the time. It doesn't make it any easier that I'm working from home and my guitar room is also my office. I'm just trying to hang in there and hope it'll pass.


----------



## Demiurge

I can relate to these feelings. I feel less like the dog who caught the car, though, and more like the dog begging for scraps from the table. And it's my own table!


----------



## sleewell

really missing my best friend today. its almost been 5 years since he passed and it just doesn't get any easier.


----------



## BenjaminW

BenjaminW said:


> My fucking parents are separating.


Came home to find out that they're going through with a divorce. Don't really know what else to say honestly.


----------



## nightflameauto

BenjaminW said:


> Came home to find out that they're going through with a divorce. Don't really know what else to say honestly.


Sucks, man. I remember the day my dad told me he was leaving mom. What a shitty feeling.

Hang in there, man. It gets worse before it gets better, but it does get better. Eventually.


----------



## AwakenTheSkies

In a couple of days, I will be 24. Honestly I'm not so cheerful about it. I am dissapointed in myself and in life. The last years have flown by. The way things were portayed to me when I was growing up, I thought everything would be so much easier and better. That you could just go with the flow and things would work out. Or that working hard at something would get you the results that you want. There are so many things that I expected to be something else. But it has been a mindfuck. All I know is I know nothing. On the positive side, I think I'm finally on a good path in life. I wish I had made better choices earlier, maybe I would be in a better place now. But things were difficult and I can't blame myself for not having done that.


----------



## TedEH

Once you reach 30s, you'll look back at 24 and realize how young you were and still are. Maybe you're feeling some sense of "running out of time" or "getting old" or something, but it's not true at all. You've got plenty of time. You've basically only recently become a "real adult", and have plenty left to do and learn. I've got a decade on you, and I'm still mostly kidding when I call myself old. You also are, just like the rest of us, well into a pandemic that took a lot of valuable time away from all of us, and took a toll on physical/mental health.

I won't tell you to just "feel better", 'cause obviously it doesn't work that way, but I can try to reassure you that it gets better going forward from where you are. If you have the self-awareness to know what you want to improve about yourself, and you're at an age where you have _real_ independence, you're effectively equipped and empowered at this point to start making the changes you want to see in yourself. Try not to think of it as "now I'm an adult, I should have my shit together", instead try to think "now I'm an adult, I now have the tools needed to get my shit together, and I can do that in my own time". The idea that most people have their shit together by their mid 20s is mostly an illusion.


----------



## nightflameauto

@AwakenTheSkies 
Don't beat yourself up about it, bud. We all go through that. I'm 48 and still trying to figure out what I want to do when I grow up. My dad's in his seventies and has retired a few years back, and HE'S still trying to sort that out too.

The important thing is to find the good where you can and hold onto it tight. The shit that bogs you down? Don't let it steal any more of your attention than necessary. Fix what you can, fight what you can't, and enjoy the ride. We only get to do it once.


----------



## BlackMastodon

TedEH said:


> Once you reach 30s, you'll look back at 24 and realize how young you were and still are. Maybe you're feeling some sense of "running out of time" or "getting old" or something, but it's not true at all. You've got plenty of time. You've basically only recently become a "real adult", and have plenty left to do and learn. I've got a decade on you, and I'm still mostly kidding when I call myself old. You also are, just like the rest of us, well into a pandemic that took a lot of valuable time away from all of us, and took a toll on physical/mental health.
> 
> I won't tell you to just "feel better", 'cause obviously it doesn't work that way, but I can try to reassure you that it gets better going forward from where you are. If you have the self-awareness to know what you want to improve about yourself, and you're at an age where you have _real_ independence, you're effectively equipped and empowered at this point to start making the changes you want to see in yourself. Try not to think of it as "now I'm an adult, I should have my shit together", instead try to think "now I'm an adult, I now have the tools needed to get my shit together, and I can do that in my own time". The idea that most people have their shit together by their mid 20s is mostly an illusion.


Quoting this so it's on the next page, too. This is 100% correct.

I'd consider myself as being someone who had their shit together by the time I was ~25 but I'm one of the lucky ones, and I still question myself on whether I made the right choices. Like Ted said, if you have the self-awareness and will to know that you need to better your situation, then you're leagues ahead of the curve.


----------



## nightflameauto

Having a bit of an internal struggle over a character death in my writing. She's born with full knowledge of her end, and every moment from conception until then. And she's such a fun character to write for. But she was born for a purpose, and that purpose must be met. I feel like I'm killing a child of mine, but the story flies apart if she doesn't meet her destiny.

I suppose this could also go in the First World Struggle thread. It's self induced, but not any less heartbreaking.


----------



## AwakenTheSkies

Thanks for sharing your thoughts guys. It's not that I don't know what I want to do. It's just that I might have had high expectations from life, and so far I have been pretty unsuccessful in almost every aspect of it. I might have been a cocky bastard. Be humble or be humbled right?

In regards to "having your shit together" honestly I've never thought about life like that. It's a USA expression right? What does it mean exactly? To know what you want to do? To have your life planned out? To have a stable job and your own place to live? A wife and kids? Being emotionally stable? Currently I just believe in having a direction and really just doing your best as you go. A plan is ok but things never turn out the way they are supposed to.


----------



## Anquished

Moneys tight so gears gotta go


----------



## MFB

Well, the majority of my vacation is officially over as I'm back on land after taking off on the inaugural voyage of the SS Neverender with Coheed & Cambria.

Pretty fucking bummed, but at least I don't go back to work until Tuesday


----------



## Adieu

Russia on "vacation" (read: lockdown).

It looks likely to cost me $1k in income weekly.


----------



## thebeesknees22

Adieu said:


> Russia on "vacation" (read: lockdown).
> 
> It looks likely to cost me $1k in income weekly.



time to go pro in E-sports?


----------



## Adieu

thebeesknees22 said:


> time to go pro in E-sports?



I'm too old

I give it a couple more hours of staring at my email inbox on my phone while watching youtube on my tablet, then log off for the saddest week in like half a year, go buy beer and work on my truck


----------



## thebeesknees22

haha


----------



## Nlelith

Adieu said:


> It looks likely to cost me $1k in income weekly.


And here I am, trying to find a full-time job, because I didn't have any big freelance projects for almost a year now. $1k/month would be amazing, but it looks like everyone who offers this much wants you to work 20 hours a day...


----------



## Adieu

Nlelith said:


> And here I am, trying to find a full-time job, because I didn't have any big freelance projects for almost a year now. $1k/month would be amazing, but it looks like everyone who offers this much wants you to work 20 hours a day...



I'm trying to chase 10k / month... which, apparently, is borderline poverty by SSO standards


----------



## Nlelith

Adieu said:


> I'm trying to chase 10k / month... which, apparently, is borderline poverty by SSO standards


Damn, may I ask what kind of industry are you working in?

I've actually had several interviews/test tasks done in last few months, but they all fell through.


----------



## Adieu

Translation of clinical trial paperwork

Russian (mostly), Ukrainian, and Bulgarian into English

Seems to be good for $5-10k per month these days, although there's no guarantee of any stability


----------



## Metropolis

My spouse crashed the Golf GTI we got about a month ago. Gladly the insurance covers it, but I'm really sceptical to see that car ever again. Both passenger side doors were damaged, another one deep to the frame structure, front fender from passengers side and front bumper also damaged, and two side passenger airbags from the same side were triggered.


----------



## shadscbr

Last week my 21 yr old son was killed in a motorcycle accident. I can't even, no words...he called me pops, and I loved that.

RIP to the best son ever, LU!!, Pops


----------



## nightflameauto

shadscbr said:


> Last week my 21 yr old son was killed in a motorcycle accident. I can't even, no words...he called me pops, and I loved that.
> 
> RIP to the best son ever, LU!!, Pops


You have my sincerest condolences. I can't imagine.


----------



## thebeesknees22

shadscbr said:


> Last week my 21 yr old son was killed in a motorcycle accident. I can't even, no words...he called me pops, and I loved that.
> 
> RIP to the best son ever, LU!!, Pops



oh my gosh

I'm so sorry to hear that. 

Condolences


----------



## CanserDYI

shadscbr said:


> Last week my 21 yr old son was killed in a motorcycle accident. I can't even, no words...he called me pops, and I loved that.
> 
> RIP to the best son ever, LU!!, Pops


I'm legitimately crying here at my desk for you. I am papa and pops to my children and this just tore a hole in me. I know you will never be the same, but know you've got a soul brother here thinking about you.


----------



## BlackMastodon

shadscbr said:


> Last week my 21 yr old son was killed in a motorcycle accident. I can't even, no words...he called me pops, and I loved that.
> 
> RIP to the best son ever, LU!!, Pops


So sorry to hear that, man. No parent should ever have to outlive their child, but I hope you and your family are healing, all things considered.


----------



## Kaura

Edit: Nevermind


----------



## High Plains Drifter

shadscbr said:


> Last week my 21 yr old son was killed in a motorcycle accident. I can't even, no words...he called me pops, and I loved that.
> 
> RIP to the best son ever, LU!!, Pops



Sincere condolences. So very sorry to read those words. May he rest in peace.


----------



## nightflameauto

I had been having a pretty good run over the last few weeks, but bad things went down last night and I'm kinda feeling like I missed a memo somewhere about what it is you're supposed to do with your life. Absolutely nothing about me makes sense this morning, and I don't particularly feel like I have any thing that I can do or say to change that.

Slog on, I guess.


----------



## TedEH

If there's a memo, we all missed it. There's no such thing as "supposed to do" unless you're being paid for it or something, and anyone who's telling you otherwise probably shouldn't be listened to. I say with zero context, of course, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.


----------



## nightflameauto

TedEH said:


> If there's a memo, we all missed it. There's no such thing as "supposed to do" unless you're being paid for it or something, and anyone who's telling you otherwise probably shouldn't be listened to. I say with zero context, of course, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.


I know this is true somewhere in my head. Just, right now, it's a little jumbled up with all the meh and angst.


----------



## thebeesknees22

shoot. Annnd gyms (and everything else it seems) are closing again here in Quebec. Thanks omicron...you jerk. 

I juuust started getting back in decent shape too.


----------



## CanserDYI

thebeesknees22 said:


> shoot. Annnd gyms (and everything else it seems) are closing again here in Quebec. Thanks omicron...you jerk.
> 
> I juuust started getting back in decent shape too.


My wife has a bad ass home work out that kicks my ass every time, and I'm decently in shape. No weights, no bands or tools, just simple body movements that absolutely killlllll me, but i feel so good after our sessions.

Any time someone talks about a "girl work out" I crack up because I guarantee they can't keep up with her routine.


----------



## thebeesknees22

@CanserDYI oh totally, I have a calisthenics workout that I try to do from home that's a killer, but I reaallllly like lifting weights. Plus I just like the gym environment and my morning walks to it. It's just a good way to wake up, and get the day started haha

This 100 pushup routine is the best chest workout I've ever had. Bodyweight exercises are no joke.


----------



## High Plains Drifter

When renewing your drivers license is the best part of your birthday.. fuck


----------



## wheresthefbomb

High Plains Drifter said:


> When renewing your drivers license is the best part of your birthday.. fuck



I feel it. I don't know what your situation is, but the isolation is real. 

Happy birthday, bud. Do something nice for yourself today. You survived another year, you absolutely deserve it.


----------



## thebeesknees22

High Plains Drifter said:


> When renewing your drivers license is the best part of your birthday.. fuck



happy birfday dude! lol


----------



## High Plains Drifter

thebeesknees22 said:


> happy birfday dude! lol



Dude thanks! It's def been lackluster.. after I got home from the dmv/ dps I spent like 3 hrs sorting screws and washers.. like damn this aint what my birthdays used to be like back in the day lol! But no complaints.. lot to be thankful for. Cheers and I hope the best for y'all heading into 2022. 

And thanks to you, @wheresthefbomb Much appreciate it. Gonna go make a killer omelette and jam out some stoner/ doom till the wife gets home. Had one hell of a year like most of us so the quiet time/ isolation is sometimes manageable and even therapeutic.


----------



## High Plains Drifter

took a break from the birthday blues with a makeshift omelette... egg, sauteed onion and jalapeno, tavern ham, sharp cheddar, and salsa loaded atop crispy tater-tots... fuckin slayed!


----------



## Seabeast2000

High Plains Drifter said:


> took a break from the birthday blues with a makeshift omelette... egg, sauteed onion and jalapeno, tavern ham, sharp cheddar, and salsa loaded atop crispy tater-tots... fuckin slayed!



Did you get any dank birthday riffs in today?


----------



## dr_game0ver

High Plains Drifter said:


> When renewing your drivers license is the best part of your birthday.. fuck


This year for my birthday, i had to give away my car to my sister's BF...


----------



## Adieu

dr_game0ver said:


> This year for my birthday, i had to give away my car to my sister's BF...



...do birthdays work differently in France?


----------



## Empryrean

ultra bummed out that some of my old friends have become super antivaxxers and if not for their signaling that they've been less cautious than before the pandemic started I'd probably still chance hanging out with them but... ugh man no thanks. I'll stick to a nice text message about pining to hangout again for now.


----------



## nightflameauto

High Plains Drifter said:


> took a break from the birthday blues with a makeshift omelette... egg, sauteed onion and jalapeno, tavern ham, sharp cheddar, and salsa loaded atop crispy tater-tots... fuckin slayed!


ROCK HARD!

I'm bummed that my wife's family all refuse to get vaccinated and now they're giving us no end of shit for not wanting to hang out with them over the holidays. It's been days of back and forth with them throwing anti-vax memes at us and telling us we're fucking pussies for not wanting to stuff ourselves into her sister's tiny little kitchen with seven other people that are all just living life like normal with no precautions. Fuck you assholes. My wife has respiratory issues anyway since she had pneumonia as a kid and lost part of a lung to it. If you fuckers don't care enough about her to even let go of missed holidays for the sake of her safety I'm half tempted to tell you we'll never see any of you assholes again.


----------



## thebeesknees22

damnit... it sounds like we are headed back on curfew here in Quebec.

https://montrealgazette.com/news/lo...tate-curfew-as-omicron-cases-soar-report-says

I guess we'll find out in a few hours..........................................................................................................
............................................................
...................................................
...


----------



## dr_game0ver

Adieu said:


> ...do birthdays work differently in France?


His car broke down hard. I had money to get a new one, so i gave the old one and got me a new one.


----------



## High Plains Drifter

Seabeast2000 said:


> Did you get any dank birthday riffs in today?



Naw... totally uninspired... and bloated from too much omelette lol 



dr_game0ver said:


> His car broke down hard. I had money to get a new one, so i gave the old one and got me a new one.



Very cool of you to help him out like that... Cheers.


----------



## IbanezDaemon

My partners sister diagnosed with Cancer a few months back and now terminal. Had Xmas dinner at her house...very difficult to see her like that but a good day nonetheless. My cousin dropped dead from an anuerysm yesterday as well. Just at my wits end atm.


----------



## zappatton2

IbanezDaemon said:


> My partners sister diagnosed with Cancer a few months back and now terminal. Had Xmas dinner at her house...very difficult to see her like that but a good day nonetheless. My cousin dropped dead from an anuerysm yesterday as well. Just at my wits end atm.


Ah man, that's horrible, I'm really sorry to hear that. Seems like almost everyone had a really bad year, but this is just awful, take care!


----------



## IbanezDaemon

zappatton2 said:


> Ah man, that's horrible, I'm really sorry to hear that. Seems like almost everyone had a really bad year, but this is just awful, take care!



Thanks man!


----------



## nightflameauto

IbanezDaemon said:


> My partners sister diagnosed with Cancer a few months back and now terminal. Had Xmas dinner at her house...very difficult to see her like that but a good day nonetheless. My cousin dropped dead from an anuerysm yesterday as well. Just at my wits end atm.


Sorry, man. That sucks ass.

I remember going with my wife to visit her aunt when we knew it was the last time we'd ever see her. She had cancer too. It's such a strange vibe having a family gathering that's essentially a big public goodbye to someone that you know is checking out soon. Condolences to you and yours. 

And fuck cancer with a huge rubber dick. It's taken more than it's fair share of my family over the years too.


----------



## IbanezDaemon

nightflameauto said:


> Sorry, man. That sucks ass.
> 
> I remember going with my wife to visit her aunt when we knew it was the last time we'd ever see her. She had cancer too. It's such a strange vibe having a family gathering that's essentially a big public goodbye to someone that you know is checking out soon. Condolences to you and yours.
> 
> And fuck cancer with a huge rubber dick. It's taken more than it's fair share of my family over the years too.



Yeah....that was basically the same thing we did on Xmas day as she has accepted that it will probably be her last. It went well though and wasn't mentioned as we thought it was best to just treat it like every other Xmas day we have been there. It's a toughie for sure though.

Sorry to hear about your family members. Cancer is indeed a truly horrible condition. I think the current projection is that 1 out of every 2 people will now contract it in their lifetime which is a terrible statistic.


----------



## narad

IbanezDaemon said:


> My partners sister diagnosed with Cancer a few months back and now terminal. Had Xmas dinner at her house...very difficult to see her like that but a good day nonetheless. My cousin dropped dead from an anuerysm yesterday as well. Just at my wits end atm.



So sorry to hear that :'( Hang in there, man.


----------



## IbanezDaemon

narad said:


> So sorry to hear that :'( Hang in there, man.



Cheers bud! Cousin's funeral was yesterday. Very sad but made me realise I don't see my family enough and that needs to change. The cancer situation is ongoing with my partner's sis. That could be 6 weeks or 6 months. Been ongoing now for about a year. Been through it before and it's hard watching someone deteriorate like that. There's a lot to be said for a quick death like my cousin had....although a terrible shock, there is no suffering.


----------



## Xaios

It's -43C outside. Brr.


----------



## KnightBrolaire

Xaios said:


> It's -43C outside. Brr.


jesus. it's -22c here so i feel your pain


----------



## CanserDYI

Okay so I must be confused as shit with how the Celsius scale works....so how is -22 degrees celsius equal to -7 degrees Fahrenheit, but -44 celsius is equal to -47 degrees Fahrenheit? Super confused lol


----------



## thraxil

CanserDYI said:


> Okay so I must be confused as shit with how the Celsius scale works....so how is -22 degrees celsius equal to -7 degrees Fahrenheit, but -44 celsius is equal to -47 degrees Fahrenheit? Super confused lol



The useful number to keep in mind is that -40 is where the two cross over, so -40C is the same as -40F.


----------



## CanserDYI

thraxil said:


> The useful number to keep in mind is that -40 is where the two cross over, so -40C is the same as -40F.


Fucking weird and I never knew this. I feel like this is important info that I never decided to learn.


----------



## nightflameauto

Woke to negative 8F real temp, negative 31F wind chill. Fuck this shit. Wanted to crawl back into bed the second I saw the temp.


----------



## BlackMastodon

It's a nice, tropical - 8C (feels like - 17C) in southern-Southern Ontario today. 

And now we have reached the part of the internet where we all share our local temperatures with each other.


----------



## TedEH

Without office water cooler talk being a thing anymore, where else are we supposed to discuss the weather?


----------



## thebeesknees22

It's -3C here in MTL... in january. That's like having summertime in winter here. 

It's supposed to get up to 2C on Sunday! ....then drop to -21C on Tuesday.. Finally time to break out the fancy coat!


----------



## thraxil

CanserDYI said:


> Fucking weird and I never knew this. I feel like this is important info that I never decided to learn.



I grew up in northern Maine where we got both US and Canadian radio and TV and -40 wasn't that unusual a temperature range to reach.


----------



## Metropolis

Glad I live in southern Finland, don't have to enjoy the -40 temperatures ever, only like -25-30 at lowest. Rarely below -20 or so. It's still really cold, average temperature of this country is around 6th or 7th lowest in the world.


----------



## zappatton2

Metropolis said:


> Glad I live in southern Finland, don't have to enjoy the -40 temperatures ever, only like -25-30 at lowest. Rarely below -20 or so. It's still really cold, average temperature of this country is around 6th or 7th lowest in the world.


So it's consistently sorta chilly? Here in Ottawa, it seems like it's -30 for half the year, and +30 the other half. And you can just forget about all this spring and fall business.


----------



## Metropolis

zappatton2 said:


> So it's consistently sorta chilly? Here in Ottawa, it seems like it's -30 for half the year, and +30 the other half. And you can just forget about all this spring and fall business.



Yes, from around november to march. But northern Finland is way too cold, similar temperatures as in Canada, -20... -35 all the time, and -40 to -50 is coldest as it gets.


----------



## p0ke

Metropolis said:


> Yes, from around november to march. But northern Finland is way too cold, similar temperatures as in Canada, -20... -35 all the time, and -40 to -50 is coldest as it gets.



Yeah, I'm really glad to live in southern Finland too. This winter has been really weird though, temperature has been bouncing between +5°C and -25°C since November... Usually it's around 0°C until January and then it drops to around -10° to -20°C until spring starts around the end of March. Another weird year was 2019, according to meteorologists there was no winter at all in southern Finland.


----------



## TedEH

An old friend of mine who struggles with a lot of mental illness problems just sent me a video that, without getting into detail, really makes it sink in just how susceptible to conspiracy theory nonsense and other misinformation she really is. Like just strait up unprepared to sort what's real from what isn't. And there's nothing I can do about it. And I think it makes her life very difficult.


----------



## AwakenTheSkies

Basically I got my shit together and recorded a 5 track EP during the previous weeks. I have around 40 tracks from years ago now that I still have to record so I'm chipping at it little by little. One of the songs is really big for me because it came to me in a dream, so of course I have to make it almost perfect. So I wrote the solo for it, and it's absolutely kicking my ass. I can play it for you live, but I'm having a hard time recording it. That's 2 recording sessions that I can't get it right.



AwakenTheSkies said:


> My blood cholesterol results are very scary, and I'm only 23. It was a problem since I was a child, it got better and now it's back. I hope it was just my crazy diet. I'd like to say otherwise but honestly I'm pretty terrified of dying, or having a heart attack or stroke at a young age.



Good news though, with my new diet I managed to lower my bad cholesterol by 27 points. And I think I could have done even better. It's still not ideal, but at least I'm happy that I won't have to take medication.


----------



## Jarmake

I've had a downer of a week. I am prone to depression, especially in the dark of the finnish winter and this week has been particularily bad for me for reason or another. Everything just seems so damn bleak and hopeless.

Oh well, life goes on... Tomorrow I am going to drink some long drinks and sing some karaoke on my fav pub. The pub opens up at 11am and shuts the doors at 6pm, thanks to corona... I think I'll go there by 2pm and just sing my butt off until they close.


----------



## thebeesknees22

ooooof..... my investments.  

ooooooo..ooffffffff...... This has not been a good month .............


----------



## thebeesknees22

oh yes... the stock market. The blood flows today. all shall weep

  

lol damnit.


----------



## jaxadam

thebeesknees22 said:


> oh yes... the stock market. The blood flows today. all shall weep
> 
> 
> 
> lol damnit.



Yep, I accidentally checked and well…. I think I’ll wait a little while before I do that again.


----------



## thebeesknees22

jaxadam said:


> Yep, I accidentally checked and well…. I think I’ll wait a little while before I do that again.



haha yeah good idea. It will just make you sad.


----------



## TedEH

I wrote a whole long thing about work, but I probably shouldn't post all of it. Feelin sad about my position in the company is the jist of it. I definitely feel like we've "grown" from being a place where everyone was on equal footing to being a place where there's a distinct "upper management" that's always going to be at least somewhat out of touch with those producing the actual work. I'm thankful for what I've got, 'cause I realize I have it relatively good, but the more time goes on the more I feel like I'm just a resource. Maybe a resource that's treated relatively well compared to how a lot of other companies just chew up their workers, but still just a resource. Some discussions we've been having lately feel really emblematic of that feeling.


----------



## nightflameauto

A dude I used to razz a bit here or there, but otherwise thought of him as a brother and a friend just posted a really sad, completely non-backed-up post stating that vaccinated and boostered people are far more likely to die of omicron than non vaccinated people, and claims he has PDF proof published in other countries, that he can't link to. And then something about how we all need to understand that the "science" we've been fed is all completely wrong in the states.

It just really makes me super sad to think he fell that far down the rabbit hole of stupid. This dude used to be one of the best critical thinkers I knew. It's amazing how far he fell once he started digging into the underbelly of fail that is the Q-verse.


----------



## BlackMastodon

nightflameauto said:


> A dude I used to razz a bit here or there, but otherwise thought of him as a brother and a friend just posted a really sad, completely non-backed-up post stating that vaccinated and boostered people are far more likely to die of omicron than non vaccinated people, and claims he has PDF proof published in other countries, that he can't link to. And then something about how we all need to understand that the "science" we've been fed is all completely wrong in the states.
> 
> It just really makes me super sad to think he fell that far down the rabbit hole of stupid. This dude used to be one of the best critical thinkers I knew. It's amazing how far he fell once he started digging into the underbelly of fail that is the Q-verse.


It's absolutely insane what this type of shit can do to people, who otherwise don't show any pull to conspiracy theories. It doesn't even seem difficult to manipulate from the anti-vax side: all they need to repeat is "our science says otherwise, don't believe the media and what those scientists say" for reasons x and y. 

I remember watching zombie movies/TV shows and wondering how ridiculous and unrealistic it would be that someone would be so fucking stupid as to let the horde in and throw everything to shit but NOPE. This pandemic has proved that if anything, that would happen even sooner to every survival group.


----------



## jaxadam

BlackMastodon said:


> It's absolutely insane what this type of shit can do to people, who otherwise don't show any pull to conspiracy theories.


----------



## Rei

thyroid/health issues, depression(can't find bandmates who are put off by my appearance) & fighting an eviction. I've been through worse, but dammit, I'm over it.


----------



## TedEH

I'm saddened right now at the state of how health care works in Quebec, or at least in this corner of Quebec. Someone I know has been fighting an uphill battle with trying to get help for her young son who has some kind of behavioural problem - the details of it don't matter, but it would be enough to say that she's singlehandedly dealing with him acting out, yelling, threatening her, throwing things around, punching holes in the walls, etc. But none of the social "help" around here is doing anything to help. Whenever he gets evaluated he behaves, so they send him home saying there's nothing wrong with him - and unless he admits himself, he's old enough to have legal autonomy here (he's 14), so nobody can force him to get help, and he suffers no repercussions for his actions.

Given the amount of stress she's under while trying to deal with this, said parent had a mild breakdown of her own. In frustration, while speaking to the kids school, she made a back-handed comment along the lines of "would I have to kill myself before someone stepped in and helped?" then hung up. This resulted in police called because she was "suicidal", who came to check on her (which is good), and then left her alone when she said she was fine and just frustrated (which is also alright), but mostly because she said her husband was coming home (which shouldn't have been a factor, IMO). When things calmed down, she woke up the next morning and decided that if she's going to be saying these things, maybe she really does need some mental health help, and drove herself to the hospital to ask for some help.

And here's where shit gets nutty.

She explains the situation to the hospital, offers to admit herself to talk to someone, maybe get some antidepressants to help her get through an admittedly rough time, and they responded by immediately taking her phone away and locking her up in a small confined room. Then left her in there for 30 hours with no contact outside the room. After that time, they come and get her and have her police-escorted to the hospital "because they have beds for you there now", and without telling her what is going on, once again lock her in the psych wing of another hospital. She insisted she didn't need to be locked up in there and that this is making things worse instead of better, but they refused to let her leave without an evaluation, and the doctor wouldn't be around until next Tuesday. So, rightfully, she throws a fit, and they cave and call a doctor in for the next day.

In the meantime, she's forced to share a room with someone who has been declared dangerous enough to require a guard outside the room at night. This lady woke her up on the first night _wearing her clothes_.

It took something like 4 days (the timeline isn't super clear to me, 'cause I only just learned all this) just to convince someone that she didn't belong locked up in there, that she just wanted some help because she was stressed over her own son threatening to hill her or himself and nobody was helping, but nobody would listen to her because "she was too emotional". No shit she was emotional, you locked her in a room against her will, along with someone who stole her clothes in the middle of the night, and another guy who rambled on about aliens apparently. I don't quite have the timeline down, but she showed up hoping to get some help for herself on (I think) Saturday, and was stuck in there until Weds or Thursday, something like that.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand at the end of the day, the doctors blamed her breakdown on medications she took to try to quit smoking months ago instead of, oh I dunno, the 14 year old who keeps screaming death threats at her that nobody is helping her with. At the first sign of any weakness, they locked her in a padded room and wouldn't let her leave, but the 14 year old who actually needs some help is being abandoned by the system. Quebec won't help him unless he admits himself, or you take him to court to force him. And Ontario won't help a Quebec resident, because I dunno, fuck Quebecers I guess.

And all of this while she's taking shit from the ongoing right-wing nut-bags in town protesting their "freedom" because she happens to work in health-care (go figure), which has resulted in truckers spitting on her for just trying to go about her day, people sending her aggressive messages about how she must have been paid by Trudeau to cover up the "hoax" etc etc etc.


----------



## nightflameauto

@TedEH 
That story is absolutely heartbreaking, but sadly not shocking. Mental health is not handled well anywhere in the west. Essentially, when it comes to mental health, we're still in the days of sticking leaches and bleeding people when they get physically ill. It's like even the mental health professionals see it as black and white too. You're either perfectly mentally healthy, or your psych ward, lock 'em up for their own good mentally fucked. I've seen evidence that there are SOME mental health pros that have a handle on it, and was lucky enough to work with a few the last time my mother went through an episode, but man do you have to fight to get to that point.

It's frustrating to those of us that would like to just get some mental health help without bankrupting ourselves going to the for-pay shrinks, but this is the world we live in. Especially in the states, it's either pay, or get locked up, and down here you sometimes get the absolute privilege of doing both. Mom's been through that one too.


----------



## TedEH

I've long had a suspicion that Ontario handles this kind of stuff much better than Quebec does - and living right on the border means I get to hear stories and see outcomes from both sides. That is to say, I only really hear these stories from Quebec, where things have a habit of going horribly wrong. A had a nurse friend a while back who used to say that the hospital near me has a reputation, and that she'd avoid going or working there if at all possible.

The family doctors we've had here have been just as useless. They've been the types to deny anything is wrong with a person and refuse to test anything because anyone who comes to them "just doesn't want to work". They denied my dad had COPD until it got bad enough that he couldn't climb stairs and would pass out cold if someone told him a joke and he laughed too hard. Also he drove a fuel truck, so that easily could have killed people if he passed out behind the wheel. That same person from the previous story (might as well admit I'm talking about my sister at this point) - had been also trying to deal with another issue they refused to get checked out until after she had several seizures then they finally found she had nodes in her brain that could have been causing it. They just don't care.

But nope - don't bother helping, just lock her in the psych ward, along with the other people who think aliens are among us. People who also probably deserve better than to be locked away. I can't see how that place is helping anyone.


----------



## CanserDYI

I'm fucking shaken. I took my children to their theatre class this morning and leave around 11, right after we leave a person walks up to an SUV with a father and 10 year old girl inside and opens fire on them killing the daughter and wounding the father. They have no motive yet for the killing but I'm really just shattered right now not only for the little girl but for the safety and security of my own children in this area we live in. Fuck this shit.


----------



## TedEH

Wow. That's fucked up. Stay safe man.


----------



## HoneyNut

TedEH said:


> I'm saddened right now



Wow. Is anyone taking any actions against these people?! They should be charged and their licence or permit or whatever should be terminated, and should do time for felony.


----------



## TedEH

HoneyNut said:


> Wow. Is anyone taking any actions against these people?!


Not that I'm aware of. I spoke to a couple of people who were a little more familiar and basically got "yup, that's how it works". What do you mean that's how it works, that's inhumane.

There's nothing we can do, and I can come up with all kinds of reasons:
- We don't have the money or influence to change how mental health is dealt with for the whole city.
- Trying to solve the original problem of a kids need for some behavioural support still comes first.
- My sister has basically been left feeling defeated by this whole process and likely doesn't have the energy to push back anymore
- I hate to say it, but we're anglophones in Quebec, nobody gives a shit about us.

I can think of more reasons but I don't want to.

The expression on her face when she came by is going to bother me for a long time. I have never seen such a defeated expression before.


----------



## thebeesknees22

CanserDYI said:


> I'm fucking shaken. I took my children to their theatre class this morning and leave around 11, right after we leave a person walks up to an SUV with a father and 10 year old girl inside and opens fire on them killing the daughter and wounding the father. They have no motive yet for the killing but I'm really just shattered right now not only for the little girl but for the safety and security of my own children in this area we live in. Fuck this shit.



holy crap dude


----------



## thebeesknees22

TedEH said:


> I've long had a suspicion that Ontario handles this kind of stuff much better than Quebec does - and living right on the border means I get to hear stories and see outcomes from both sides. That is to say, I only really hear these stories from Quebec, where things have a habit of going horribly wrong. A had a nurse friend a while back who used to say that the hospital near me has a reputation, and that she'd avoid going or working there if at all possible.
> 
> The family doctors we've had here have been just as useless. They've been the types to deny anything is wrong with a person and refuse to test anything because anyone who comes to them "just doesn't want to work". They denied my dad had COPD until it got bad enough that he couldn't climb stairs and would pass out cold if someone told him a joke and he laughed too hard. Also he drove a fuel truck, so that easily could have killed people if he passed out behind the wheel. That same person from the previous story (might as well admit I'm talking about my sister at this point) - had been also trying to deal with another issue they refused to get checked out until after she had several seizures then they finally found she had nodes in her brain that could have been causing it. They just don't care.
> 
> But nope - don't bother helping, just lock her in the psych ward, along with the other people who think aliens are among us. People who also probably deserve better than to be locked away. I can't see how that place is helping anyone.



yet another good reason for me to move next year...

hope that situation improves for ya'll


----------



## High Plains Drifter

CanserDYI said:


> I'm fucking shaken. I took my children to their theatre class this morning and leave around 11, right after we leave a person walks up to an SUV with a father and 10 year old girl inside and opens fire on them killing the daughter and wounding the father. They have no motive yet for the killing but I'm really just shattered right now not only for the little girl but for the safety and security of my own children in this area we live in. Fuck this shit.


 
Fuck, dude. So glad that you and your kids didn't get caught up in that horror. My heart breaks for that father though.


----------



## CanserDYI

High Plains Drifter said:


> Fuck, dude. So glad that you and your kids didn't get caught up in that horror. My heart breaks for that father though.


I hate to say it or wish anything in this fucked up situation, but I'm really hoping it was gang violence. I can't say that makes it okay or better, but with all the random killings around the country, I don't want to have to worry about a rando.


----------



## High Plains Drifter

CanserDYI said:


> I hate to say it or wish anything in this fucked up situation, but I'm really hoping it was gang violence. I can't say that makes it okay or better, but with all the random killings around the country, I don't want to have to worry about a rando.


 I totally see where you're coming from in that regard. Makes perfect sense.


----------



## Adieu

CanserDYI said:


> I'm fucking shaken. I took my children to their theatre class this morning and leave around 11, right after we leave a person walks up to an SUV with a father and 10 year old girl inside and opens fire on them killing the daughter and wounding the father. They have no motive yet for the killing but I'm really just shattered right now not only for the little girl but for the safety and security of my own children in this area we live in. Fuck this shit.



Is this somewhere scary? Or is it scary BECAUSE it wasn't anywhere you were ever the least bit on guard?


----------



## CanserDYI

Adieu said:


> Is this somewhere scary? Or is it scary BECAUSE it wasn't anywhere you were ever the least bit on guard?


It was in the artsy fartsy section of my town, outside a hipster coffee shop. I was at a theatre class at the arts center.


----------



## narad

CanserDYI said:


> It was in the artsy fartsy section of my town, outside a hipster coffee shop. I was at a theatre class at the arts center.



Damn, can I ask what city you're in?


----------



## CanserDYI

narad said:


> Damn, can I ask what city you're in?


Toledo Ohio, or "Little Detroit".


----------



## narad

CanserDYI said:


> Toledo Ohio, or "Little Detroit".



Huh, not where my mind first went to upon hearing that story, but if it's earned that nickname...


----------



## CanserDYI

narad said:


> Huh, not where my mind first went to upon hearing that story, but if it's earned that nickname...


Well it's earned the nickname, and we are pretty much south Detroit, about 45 minute drive to downtown Detroit from my house. 

A huuuuuge percentage of my city right now is detroiters that left in the late 00s when Detroit was baaaaaaad. Now my city is terrible with murders and shootings. We're smack dab between every major city in the area from Chicago to Pitts to Detroit so we get a lot of traffickers and lots of crime. It sucks. We have a great art scene and awesome neighborhoods speckled in between streets you just don't walk down, day or night.


----------



## Xaios

I watched an old BBC television movie over the weekend, "Threads". God damn...

Gut-wrenching stuff. It's one of those movies that people should have to watch, fully take in, and then never want to watch again.


----------



## ImNotAhab

I really like them but I just heard the new Ghost song and it might be one of the worst songs I have ever heard.


----------



## TedEH

I've made a handful of posts here and there lamenting some of the growing pains being experienced by the company I'm at. I recently got into a sort of disagreement with someone from management about how difficult a situation it can be just to find a comfortable place to live, let alone owning it - especially as a single person, and while prices for everything are inflating. I've felt a bit trapped in my current living situation for a good while now, and I'm farther from my "life goals" than I expected to be after 9 years working here. So I got curious and started looking at job ads - not so much because I want to jump ship - but because I want to get a sense of what my worth is for my kind of work. Turns out I haven't looked at _our own_ job ads in a while. On our own website, we have my same job listed, with my same title, being advertised as starting significantly above my pay. Almost 17% higher. In the meantime, someone who represents management is advocating side-hustles as the solution to anyone's financial woes, instead of, oh I dunno, paying people what they're worth. If we were still a little indie company trying to keep the lights on, I could accept that. But we're not - we're owned by a giant corporation.

I've spent almost a decade living in the same place and working for the same place. I'm more than ready for some kind of change. We have our yearly reviews approaching (this week), and I feel like I have little choice but to ask for that difference in pay, and if they won't give it to me, I start looking elsewhere. I really like my office, the people, the clients I support, etc. I don't _want_ to leave this job. But I'm making very little life progress, and the whole point of a career is to provide for or contribute to this kind of stuff. A job is about money and lifestyle, there's no way around that, no matter how "nice" the work is.


----------



## thebeesknees22

TedEH said:


> I've made a handful of posts here and there lamenting some of the growing pains being experienced by the company I'm at. I recently got into a sort of disagreement with someone from management about how difficult a situation it can be just to find a comfortable place to live, let alone owning it - especially as a single person, and while prices for everything are inflating. I've felt a bit trapped in my current living situation for a good while now, and I'm farther from my "life goals" than I expected to be after 9 years working here. So I got curious and started looking at job ads - not so much because I want to jump ship - but because I want to get a sense of what my worth is for my kind of work. Turns out I haven't looked at _our own_ job ads in a while. On our own website, we have my same job listed, with my same title, being advertised as starting significantly above my pay. Almost 17% higher. In the meantime, someone who represents management is advocating side-hustles as the solution to anyone's financial woes, instead of, oh I dunno, paying people what they're worth. If we were still a little indie company trying to keep the lights on, I could accept that. But we're not - we're owned by a giant corporation.
> 
> I've spent almost a decade living in the same place and working for the same place. I'm more than ready for some kind of change. We have our yearly reviews approaching (this week), and I feel like I have little choice but to ask for that difference in pay, and if they won't give it to me, I start looking elsewhere. I really like my office, the people, the clients I support, etc. I don't _want_ to leave this job. But I'm making very little life progress, and the whole point of a career is to provide for or contribute to this kind of stuff. A job is about money and lifestyle, there's no way around that, no matter how "nice" the work is.



You don't owe a company anything. Plus this is an artists/employees market right now. Staying where you're at while that same company is offering 17% higher is essentially making yourself take a paycut with how much inflation and housing has exploded. 

Go ahead and job hunt. If you get a better offer talk to your current company before signing it. They may do better. They may not. In the end go for the dollars. 17% is a huge raise. If you play your cards right, and/or get lucky then you may be able to swing an even bigger raise.

edit: it won't do any good to talk to your current company without another offer on hand. And just because you get another offer, it doesn't mean you have to take it. It's just business, and it'll just be business to the companies too. It won't burn bridges.


----------



## TedEH

I never mentioned it, 'cause I don't know what kind of lines it would cross (does it count as poaching?), but I know my current client like me enough to have commented that if I needed work they'd try to keep me on their team - of course they're in a different country, so that complicated things further, and for all I know it was just meant as a vague compliment and they didn't really mean it or have any power in that regard - but it's a tempting thought.


----------



## nightflameauto

@TedEH 
If I saw my exact job up for significantly more pay? I'd put in an application and let management / HR facepalm themselves to death when they see it.

While hunting for another job.


----------



## thebeesknees22

just to put things in perspective. Back when covid first hit, my company (and industry as a whole almost) handed out paycuts

They were dragging their heels giving people their regular rates back so I went shopping so to speak, and in doing so sparked a bidding war. And I walked away with a 17+% raise over my original rate. I am with the same company. There were no hard feelings. Management and I had a laugh about the bidding war, and that was that at the end of it. 

There are no personal feelings with management and your rate. If X person is willing to work for fewer dollars they will let that go until that person forces the issue. When it comes up they'll offer you the least amount they think you will take unless you have another offer on hand. IF you have another offer on hand then they will be serious if they really need people.


----------



## TedEH

In my case, I'm in an industry that's benefiting from the 'rona, so that's not an excuse for them. Work from home has reduced costs (as I understand it), and tons of people buying/playing games means we've got lots of growth/security right now.


----------



## Ralyks

Scott Hall passed


----------



## thebeesknees22

Ralyks said:


> Scott Hall passed


shiiiiiiiiiiit....

I saw he had complications from knee surgery. or was it hip?

He was an icon when I was younger. Sad to hear he passed.

edit: was hip


----------



## STRHelvete

Dean discontinued the ML Select in black. I've found "the one" in terms of guitar and they've axed it. WTF

I need fifty-leven more of those guitars and now I'm gonna have to pick them up on the used market when they pop up. The entire reason I originally got into them because they were a current production model I could easily get. Fuck.


----------



## Legion

Because I'm in the US on a visa, and I didn't get through the lottery. 

Context: I'm a physicist who came to the US for a PhD and ended up getting hired by a MAJOR Silicon company after I earned my degree. Now to get a work visa called an H1B there's a completely random lottery that decides if you get through. I didn't. I get one more shot next year, after that I pack up and go home. To be clear I have nothing against moving back, just that it sucks to have to entertain the possibility of giving up everything I've built here and have to leave on someone else's terms. 


Small side-irritation: whenever I bring this up I get hit with the "AMERICA GAVE YOU AN OPPORTUNITY, THAT OPPORTUNITY CAN BE RESCINDED AT ANY TIME, SHUT THE FUCK UP" line, which is...yeah. Not fun.


----------



## BlackMastodon

Well that sucks. Does your job title allow you any other kind of work visa? I'm a Canadian working in the US on a T1 visa as an engineer but I think it's specific to engineers, and may even be limited to Canadians and Mexicans, but there may be an option besides H1B if your employer can fanagle your position to one that "fits" the visa description.

Work visas are stressful, sorry to hear that.


----------



## Legion

BlackMastodon said:


> Well that sucks. Does your job title allow you any other kind of work visa? I'm a Canadian working in the US on a T1 visa as an engineer but I think it's specific to engineers, and may even be limited to Canadians and Mexicans, but there may be an option besides H1B if your employer can fanagle your position to one that "fits" the visa description.
> 
> Work visas are stressful, sorry to hear that.


My job title is "Engineer" so yeah. I work for a massive company, and they've been supportive mostly, they're open to transitioning visa types, but the fact of the matter is that there's a point where the DHS goes "nope, fuck you" and there isn't much to be done. But like I said, there's one more shot I have next year, let's hope that comes through. 

I just tell myself that no matter what I'll be ok, because...well, I made it this far, didn't I?


----------



## High Plains Drifter

Sister texted me to say that my niece and her 2yr old son both have covid. 

And the kicker here is that I'm not sad that they have covid. I feel like I should be but I'm actually sad that I just don't care that much. How horrible of a person am I? I mean... throughout the past couple years my wife and I have made sacrifices and missed out on plenty of things while my niece and her husband and their kid have been attending weddings, parties, going on vacations, traveling across the country, etc. And I dunno... somewhere within the pandemic it seems that I've just lost a lot of compassion towards some people and I guess that includes some of my own family members. Certainly doesn't make me feel too good but I just don't have it in me to care too much about others that have risked the health and safety of themselves and others while acting like the pandemic was over whenever it became inconvenient or whenever they simply became burned out.


----------



## bostjan

Legion said:


> My job title is "Engineer" so yeah. I work for a massive company, and they've been supportive mostly, they're open to transitioning visa types, but the fact of the matter is that there's a point where the DHS goes "nope, fuck you" and there isn't much to be done. But like I said, there's one more shot I have next year, let's hope that comes through.
> 
> I just tell myself that no matter what I'll be ok, because...well, I made it this far, didn't I?


There's an old parable:

An old farmer was working his fields and his prized workhorse jumped the fence and ran away one day.

His friends heard the news and told the old man "oh, that's such bad news."

The farmer responded "maybe bad, maybe good, who knows."

The next morning, the farmer's horse came back, and brought a wild horse with it.

The farmer's friends heard the news and said "oh, such great news!"

The old man replied "maybe good, maybe bad."

That evening, the old man's son was trying to train the wild horse and was thrown to the ground, breaking his leg.

The friends came by and said "you have our sympathy for this misfortune."

The farmer said "maybe bad, maybe good." The friends were puzzled at how something so obviously bad could be a good thing.

Some days later, a war breaks out. The military comes door-to-door to whisk away any and all able-bodied man. The farmer's son is spared from his compulsory military service due to his injuries.

...and the story doesn't end there...

So, maybe you get booted from your cool job. If that happens, think of it this way: you would then be a free agent with strong job experience. The US might get nuked by Russia any day anyway. Maybe there's an even better job for you in Australia, or New Zealand, or somewhere else. Treat any setbacks in achieving your goals as an opportunity to set even better goals. I know it sounds overly sugar-coated, but if you have a Ph. D. in physics and you are working as an engineer, I'd say you have more room to go up than to go down. Likewise, treat any potential gains as a heavier load of responsibilities.

Best of luck.


----------



## Legion

bostjan said:


> There's an old parable:
> 
> An old farmer was working his fields and his prized workhorse jumped the fence and ran away one day.
> 
> His friends heard the news and told the old man "oh, that's such bad news."
> 
> The farmer responded "maybe bad, maybe good, who knows."
> 
> The next morning, the farmer's horse came back, and brought a wild horse with it.
> 
> The farmer's friends heard the news and said "oh, such great news!"
> 
> The old man replied "maybe good, maybe bad."
> 
> That evening, the old man's son was trying to train the wild horse and was thrown to the ground, breaking his leg.
> 
> The friends came by and said "you have our sympathy for this misfortune."
> 
> The farmer said "maybe bad, maybe good." The friends were puzzled at how something so obviously bad could be a good thing.
> 
> Some days later, a war breaks out. The military comes door-to-door to whisk away any and all able-bodied man. The farmer's son is spared from his compulsory military service due to his injuries.
> 
> ...and the story doesn't end there...
> 
> So, maybe you get booted from your cool job. If that happens, think of it this way: you would then be a free agent with strong job experience. The US might get nuked by Russia any day anyway. Maybe there's an even better job for you in Australia, or New Zealand, or somewhere else. Treat any setbacks in achieving your goals as an opportunity to set even better goals. I know it sounds overly sugar-coated, but if you have a Ph. D. in physics and you are working as an engineer, I'd say you have more room to go up than to go down. Likewise, treat any potential gains as a heavier load of responsibilities.
> 
> Best of luck.




I will remember this.


----------



## nightflameauto

My mother's husband passed away last week. And that's sad on its own. He wasn't the greatest dude in the world or anything, but he did do right by my mother, which is all a son can ask of mom's new husband.

He had some bizarre politics and was a Fox News spewing fountain of "knowledge," which made us not want to spend much time around him, but he's gone.

What's got me extra sad is my wife is being so obstinate about every little thing now. His funeral is today and she wants to drive separately because, "HE WAS NOTHING AND I DON'T WANT TO BE THERE ALL DAY!" I keep trying to patiently explain that today is not about him. The only reason I'm going is to support my mother, and funerals are about those that are left behind far more than those that are gone. No matter how carefully I try to broach the subject she just gets madder and madder at me over it.

I just can't wrap my head around it, in all honesty. It's one afternoon of our lives, spent with my mom to comfort her. How is that hurting us? So, I feel stuck between doing right by my mom, and making my wife super angry with me, or fucking over my mom when she really needs me to keep my wife happy. And it's just a lot of added stress and sadness when I really don't need it.


----------



## thebeesknees22

nightflameauto said:


> My mother's husband passed away last week. And that's sad on its own. He wasn't the greatest dude in the world or anything, but he did do right by my mother, which is all a son can ask of mom's new husband.
> 
> He had some bizarre politics and was a Fox News spewing fountain of "knowledge," which made us not want to spend much time around him, but he's gone.
> 
> What's got me extra sad is my wife is being so obstinate about every little thing now. His funeral is today and she wants to drive separately because, "HE WAS NOTHING AND I DON'T WANT TO BE THERE ALL DAY!" I keep trying to patiently explain that today is not about him. The only reason I'm going is to support my mother, and funerals are about those that are left behind far more than those that are gone. No matter how carefully I try to broach the subject she just gets madder and madder at me over it.
> 
> I just can't wrap my head around it, in all honesty. It's one afternoon of our lives, spent with my mom to comfort her. How is that hurting us? So, I feel stuck between doing right by my mom, and making my wife super angry with me, or fucking over my mom when she really needs me to keep my wife happy. And it's just a lot of added stress and sadness when I really don't need it.



I think it's normal for people to have those kinds of feelings when someone dies. 

I would just let her drive separately, and if she doesn't want to stick around very long after then it's ok. 

Give it some time, life will go on. 

I've had stuff like that happen in my family before, and it was always "if you want to stay then stay, if you want to go right after then go." Either way is ok. Usually only a small group would stay long. Sometimes no one wanted to stick around even the partner of the one who died so everyone just bounces. Funerals are a strange experience for people tbh.

You're there for your mom which is the more important thing.


----------



## nightflameauto

thebeesknees22 said:


> I think it's normal for people to have those kinds of feelings when someone dies.
> 
> I would just let her drive separately, and if she doesn't want to stick around very long after then it's ok.
> 
> Give it some time, life will go on.
> 
> I've had stuff like that happen in my family before, and it was always "if you want to stay then stay, if you want to go right after then go." Either way is ok. Usually only a small group would stay long. Sometimes no one wanted to stick around even the partner of the one who died so everyone just bounces. Funerals are a strange experience for people tbh.
> 
> You're there for your mom which is the more important thing.


Yeah, that's pretty much where I've landed. It's just tiring how angry my wife is over it. I mean, she had strong negative vibes toward the dude all along, and if anything it seems like those feelings have intensified now that he's gone.

Funerals are weird for a lot of folks. I suppose my family treats them even more weird than most since we had been farmers for generations. So, for the most part, the only time all the surrounding family and neighbors get together is funerals and weddings. So it turned into a huge social event. That's kinda weighing on me too, and I have no idea how it's gonna be with his family. Could be a there and out, could be an all day / all night rager. No idea.

But I'm definitely gonna be there for mom. It's the only thing I can do.


----------



## bostjan

The whole point of the funeral isn't to honour the person who died, it's to provide some little comfort to the people grieving.

Sorry to hear about the drama. I had considered myself lucky that I had never experienced first-hand drama at a funeral or wedding.


----------



## nightflameauto

bostjan said:


> The whole point of the funeral isn't to honour the person who died, it's to provide some little comfort to the people grieving.
> 
> Sorry to hear about the drama. I had considered myself lucky that I had never experienced first-hand drama at a funeral or wedding.


Yeah, I was hoping everybody could be subdued to help comfort mom. But our family seems hardwired to drama up every gathering. Her brother was particularly nasty, but he's always been an asshole. He even pulled his classic bomb drop as he walked out the door, getting her all worked up about her money situation. I coulda punched the fucker, but that wouldn't have helped anything.

Thankfully, everyone went home last night and this morning and I've been able to have a couple sit-downs with her one-on-one and get her back to somewhat calmed down. I feel horrible for her having to go through all the family shit while having to deal with setting her life back to something she can manage on her own.


----------



## creepymcpeepers

rectifryer said:


> Because I can't find a steady lineup for a band.


Sorry dude maybe it will get better one day


----------



## CanserDYI

creepymcpeepers said:


> Sorry dude maybe it will get better one day


Jesus my dude, that was a sad day for him 8 years ago lol


----------



## creepymcpeepers

CanserDYI said:


> Jesus my dude, that was a sad day for him 8 years ago lol


LOL!!!! well shit i like to read it to


----------



## TedEH

I started the process of asking for what I thought was a very small promotion, and I feel like I've opened up all kinds of cans of worms that aren't going to end well for me. I went forward with what I thought was a pretty straightforward presentation of "here's what you've laid out as the criteria for the role, and here's the ways I feel I've demonstrated that I meet that", but apparently this was the wrong way to go. I had also been trying to go through my producer to do this - and I had gone through several discussions, been through a bunch of thought exercises, wrote up this 5 page long document/proposal, was told it was going to be discussed, etc. Then I ended up in another phone call for unrelated reasons (we were conducting an interview) where I unknowingly let slip I was having these conversations just to find out the guy who _actually_ needed to know was the guy I was helping with this interview - he's one of the company's founders, etc.

So now what was supposed to be a debrief for an interview for someone else suddenly becomes an interview of sorts for _me_ who came in entirely unprepared, and trying to process that this whole time he had no idea I had asked for anything at all (???). Some of the questions really threw me too - like asking "why do I even want this promotion in the first place?" And now I'm being asked to basically go through this whole process of taking all the people in the position I'm asking for, and evaluating them and ranking myself against them to demonstrate that the company has mis-ranked either them or me to convince them to make those corrections, and dropped a bunch of budget concerns on me with phrasing like "if we go to your client and tell them they have to spend more on you now, how do we justify that?"

And now I just feel defeated. I went in thinking that having been with the company for good while - almost 10 years, I'd have earned some tiny bit of seniority (the company itself is only a couple years older than that), and that the feedback I get and the results I produce would be evidence that I've earned it - but I guess I'm wrong. I'm either wrong that the years matter, or I'm wrong that I've got the skillsets, or I don't know what else. Meanwhile I know we have a lot of cases of people in the position I'm asking for that got it just because there was a need for it at the right time, or that they got assertive about it before we had all this process, and some have even admitted to me that they felt like they were fast-tracked to it and had to learn the role on-the-job as they went.

So I either have to keep fighting for it, which is taking a lot out of me, or I have to just concede that I "don't deserve it", or .... I dunno what else. In the meantime I land somewhere between shooting my career in the foot and spinning my tires.

All of this while stressing about how I'd hoped the promotion would mean I could afford to move out of my apartment into something a bit nicer, or at least something in Ontario closer to work and people I can socialize with, and this isn't working out either. I'm still a single person competing with couples and families. I don't want to live in Quebec anymore, and was hoping that the little bit of extra could help me - but I can't afford to buy anything unless it's a tiny house, or a mobile home, or out in the middle of the woods somewhere - and if I move but keep renting, I'll be paying out every orifice for it.

So I had been super adamant for the last few months that I'm going to make this work - that I'm going to finally feel some sense of progression - I even went as far as starting to pack things. I was SURE it's gonna happen one way or the other. But now I kinda feel like I've wasted my time. Maybe I'm not going anywhere. I'm going to be stuck in this same apartment until I die.


----------



## thebeesknees22

TedEH said:


> ...
> 
> So now what was supposed to be a debrief for an interview for someone else suddenly becomes an interview of sorts for _me_ who came in entirely unprepared, and trying to process that this whole time he had no idea I had asked for anything at all (???). Some of the questions really threw me too - like asking "why do I even want this promotion in the first place?" And now I'm being asked to basically go through this whole process of taking all the people in the position I'm asking for, and evaluating them and ranking myself against them to demonstrate that the company has mis-ranked either them or me to convince them to make those corrections, and dropped a bunch of budget concerns on me with phrasing like "if we go to your client and tell them they have to spend more on you now, how do we justify that?"
> ....


this part ^^

wait wuuut

For the raise - in vfx anyway, that typically goes into effect on the next project. Not sure about games though since game project time tends to be a lot longer. But if they said ""if we go to your client and tell them they have to spend more on you now, how do we justify that?" ...that's their problem, not yours. 

Honestly man, I think it's time to at least put together your resume and start shopping around. Then at least you'll have the option to go if you want to go or stay if you want to stay and your mind will be at rest with your decision after.

Loyalty to a studio doesn't mean anything these days. They try to get people for the lowest dollar they can so they can have more room in their budgets. It doesn't matter if you've been there 1 year or 20.


----------



## TedEH

thebeesknees22 said:


> For the raise - in vfx anyway, that typically goes into effect on the next project. Not sure about games though since game project time tends to be a lot longer. But if they said ""if we go to your client and tell them they have to spend more on you now, how do we justify that?" ...that's their problem, not yours.


That honestly was my thinking and I didn't know how to process that.
I also have zero doubt the client would pay more for me if they had to. I know they had a meeting at one point where they not-so-subtly said that if I found myself looking for work, they'd do whatever they can to keep me on their project. My client values me for sure. I feel like asking for a promotion isn't supposed to be this challenging.


----------



## thebeesknees22

TedEH said:


> That honestly was my thinking and I didn't know how to process that.
> I also have zero doubt the client would pay more for me if they had to. I know they had a meeting at one point where they not-so-subtly said that if I found myself looking for work, they'd do whatever they can to keep me on their project. My client values me for sure. I feel like asking for a promotion isn't supposed to be this challenging.


Sometimes promotions come down to timing too. Also sometimes it comes down to the supervisors higher up and them agreeing to it. It's a tricky thing climbing the ladder. It's part luck of being in the right spot at the right time, part having the leverage, part who you know. 

Time to add charm stats on your next level up and that should do the trick! ha I kid i kid


----------



## TedEH

I mean, that's what I've been trying. I'm not really the most professionally charming person I guess - I hadn't thought of it as being part of the job until now.

The instigating bit, for me, was that we've been pretty recently given a bunch of changes to what our pay scales are and standards/expectations for different roles - where we previously just kinda landed somewhere in a vague scale, we all now have a transparent set of "these are the roles, these are the progression paths, these are expectations at different levels, and what all of these things amount to in terms of pay". So I looked at it and went "well, you're paying me x, but I feel like I fit the rubric for y" - and now.....


----------



## thebeesknees22

TedEH said:


> I mean, that's what I've been trying. I'm not really the most professionally charming person I guess - I hadn't thought of it as being part of the job until now.
> 
> The instigating bit, for me, was that we've been pretty recently given a bunch of changes to what our pay scales are and standards/expectations for different roles - where we previously just kinda landed somewhere in a vague scale, we all now have a transparent set of "these are the roles, these are the progression paths, these are expectations at different levels, and what all of these things amount to in terms of pay". So I looked at it and went "well, you're paying me x, but I feel like I fit the rubric for y" - and now.....


yeah that's understandable


----------



## TedEH

thebeesknees22 said:


> Honestly man, I think it's time to at least put together your resume and start shopping around. Then at least you'll have the option to go if you want to go or stay if you want to stay and your mind will be at rest with your decision after.


So I took a small leap and responded to a recruiter - we get hit with recruiter messages all the time and I typically send them immediately to the junk folder - but this one was from a company I recognized, and in my area of expertise, so I figured I might as well ask for more details just to give myself some perspective. I asked -> can it be done remote, what do I expect for salary, etc. and some more questions. They responded with an eye watering amount of money, and now I don't know what to do with that information. I honestly really like my current project/client and don't want to abandon them. But if I ignore this other bit of info - I'm sure I'll be beating myself up over it for a while.


----------



## Demiurge

TedEH said:


> They responded with an eye watering amount of money, and now I don't know what to do with that information. I honestly really like my current project/client and don't want to abandon them. But if I ignore this other bit of info - I'm sure I'll be beating myself up over it for a while.


If your employer cannot retain their talent, it's their problem. Too often the sentimentality & loyalty of the employees is leveraged against them to accept less than deserved, but then guess who is not sentimental or loyal at all when it comes to "business decisions".


----------



## thebeesknees22

TedEH said:


> So I took a small leap and responded to a recruiter - we get hit with recruiter messages all the time and I typically send them immediately to the junk folder - but this one was from a company I recognized, and in my area of expertise, so I figured I might as well ask for more details just to give myself some perspective. I asked -> can it be done remote, what do I expect for salary, etc. and some more questions. They responded with an eye watering amount of money, and now I don't know what to do with that information. I honestly really like my current project/client and don't want to abandon them. But if I ignore this other bit of info - I'm sure I'll be beating myself up over it for a while.



You know deep down inside what to do. The cost of living ain't goni' down. lol

It doesn't hurt to interview. I'd at least talk to them and get a feel for things. IF you get an offer then see you can go to your current employer with that information before you sign (if you want to sign)

It's good to try and wrap a current project if you can before bouncing if you're getting close to crunch time or if you're in crunch time. A new studio is usually accommodating to that if it falls within their timeframe. If not then you'll have to make the hard choice to just bounce or stay etc.

There's no reason to beat yourself up over it. It's literally just business. 

the one thing you know for sure though, is your current employer won't pay what this other one said they'll offer unless you have that offer in hand. So interview away! You don't have to take the new job offer if you don't want to after it's all said and done.


----------



## TedEH

thebeesknees22 said:


> the one thing you know for sure though, is your current employer won't pay what this other one said they'll offer unless you have that offer in hand.


Having seen the numbers, and given that current company has emailed us out their whole pay scale system for transparency's sake, there's zero chance they'd offer me anywhere close to the same. It would be like asking them to skip me above all their seniors and pay director level pay. Hell would freeze over first. Edit: I'm not going to make any solid decisions right now, but they've waved a big enough number in front of me to convince me to book a phone call with the recruiter person. If nothing else, I can get a feel for what's out there.


----------



## thebeesknees22

TedEH said:


> Having seen the numbers, and given that current company has emailed us out their whole pay scale system for transparency's sake, there's zero chance they'd offer me anywhere close to the same. It would be like asking them to skip me above all their seniors and pay director level pay. Hell would freeze over first. Edit: I'm not going to make any solid decisions right now, but they've waved a big enough number in front of me to convince me to book a phone call with the recruiter person. If nothing else, I can get a feel for what's out there.



fo sho! I think you're making the right move by at least talking to them. If it works out great, if it doesn't no loss. You know what the potential is out there if you decide to keep looking


----------



## Millul

TedEH said:


> Having seen the numbers, and given that current company has emailed us out their whole pay scale system for transparency's sake, there's zero chance they'd offer me anywhere close to the same. It would be like asking them to skip me above all their seniors and pay director level pay. Hell would freeze over first. Edit: I'm not going to make any solid decisions right now, but they've waved a big enough number in front of me to convince me to book a phone call with the recruiter person. If nothing else, I can get a feel for what's out there.



You got this - it's eye-opening sometimes to look outside after a few years, I've been through it and, as much as it can be intimidating and scary, it's also worth it.


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## TedEH

When I think about it - play through the scenario in my head - I'm more bothered by abandoning the client and their team than I am my direct employer. I had found a comfort zone in an audio team (the client is the audio team) that honestly set a really high bar how a team can work.


----------



## BlackMastodon

TedEH said:


> When I think about it - play through the scenario in my head - I'm more bothered by abandoning the client and their team than I am my direct employer. I had found a comfort zone in an audio team (the client is the audio team) that honestly set a really high bar how a team can work.


Could you also hit up your client and see how serious they were about taking care of you? Might be a little riskier if it comes back around to your employer but if there's someone there you can trust who can give you and idea, it might be a win-win. 

Agree with what everyone else is saying, shop around and do what's best for you. Any company will latch onto your emotions and sentimentality and bleed you dry any chance they can. The only one who is going to look after you is you. It may sound callous, and your direct manager may even go to bat for you, but at the end of the day the people that make the decisions don't consider you as a person. Just reading your interactions with them makes my skin crawl, and I'm sorry you had to go through those uncomfortable conversations.


----------



## TedEH

BlackMastodon said:


> Could you also hit up your client and see how serious they were about taking care of you? Might be a little riskier if it comes back around to your employer but if there's someone there you can trust who can give you and idea, it might be a win-win.


The thought definitely crossed my mind - but while everything else so far has just "felt bad", this is the one step where I feel like I'd _actually_ be doing something wrong - at the very least potentially burning myself if it doesn't go down well.

There's always this little voice that says maybe I should just take the path of least risk/resistance and just settle for what I've got - keep the stability, and honestly I'm not exactly bad off. But then I'm going to be kicking myself for a good while.


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## thebeesknees22

definitely don't go direct to your client. That's a sure fire way to get the ax. Productions won't mess around with that.


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## Church2224

Broke up with my girlfriend of 8 months today....

I loved her and she was very beautiful, however she had a lot of issues I could not get passed. One night she finally called me when she was drunk and insulted me and the way she was talking to me was very abusive, insulting and condescending. I finally had enough, took a break for a day and realized I could not go on with her treating me this way....


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## Kaura

I'm 99% sure my old Jim Root Tele is up for sale and this mofo asks 950€ for it. I sold it for 250€ because it was in such a terrible shape.


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## TedEH

Heeeeeeeey remember when I said I was gunning for a small promotion? Well I finally got my official answer: I already got a yearly evaluation, so that's that. End of story. The fact that I'd put in a further request and waited a month thinking that I was still in the pipeline, so to speak, was "just a miscommunication". I don't really want to go over the whole story again, but just...... I'm not happy with this.


----------



## thebeesknees22

TedEH said:


> Heeeeeeeey remember when I said I was gunning for a small promotion? Well I finally got my official answer: I already got a yearly evaluation, so that's that. End of story. The fact that I'd put in a further request and waited a month thinking that I was still in the pipeline, so to speak, was "just a miscommunication". I don't really want to go over the whole story again, but just...... I'm not happy with this.


Sorry dude. But now at least now you know, and if you decide to look elsewhere you can do it with a clear conscience. 

I was in your shoes about 10 years ago. I had to take over lead duties on a show essentially because the lead on it wasn't quite cutting it. I thought I'd get a bump up after, but it was a no and it was a no on a raise on top of that.

So I bounced and did a show elsewhere and got a good raise...... and not long near the end of that show, the old company offered me a lead position. haha

So i did that, and then got screwed over by some shady supervisors so I left the old company again. ha

Then a couple of years after that they again offered me a lead position, and so I did that rodeo again. It was a lot better the 2nd time around, but then I left again to go to MTL after a few years. And then later again the old company offered me the Head of FX job haha, so I did that and now i'm a CG sup here at the old company for now

Funny how things work out sometimes. I'm about to bounce next year though unless they let me work remote. I need a change of scenery city-wise. 


I'd just say that even though the door is closed now, that doesn't mean it will be later. Sometimes it's just down to timing. Sometimes it's supervisors that block your path, and they come and go all the time. So whatever the company is now, that doesn't mean it'll be the same 2-5 years from now. 


Just live the adventure. Who knows where it'll take you. It's fair to be ticked at your current company too for not being clear about things, but leave that aside if/when you leave and part on an amicable note


----------



## TedEH

thebeesknees22 said:


> I need a change of scenery city-wise.


I'll trade -> I've got an interview with a place in Montreal next week, hah.


----------



## thebeesknees22

TedEH said:


> I'll trade -> I've got an interview with a place in Montreal next week, hah.



HA!

Hope it goes well dude!


----------



## TedEH

It it works out, it's in audio, and pays a truckload more even for entry level, so it would be..... thebeesknees.


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## thebeesknees22

TedEH said:


> It it works out, it's in audio, and pays a truckload more even for entry level, so it would be..... thebeesknees.


oh wow that's awesome!


----------



## bostjan

I'm wondering how anyone can make ends meet right now. I have a good education (graduate degree), no student loans, I feel like I've worked really hard and continue to work hard, I have a good steady job, and I run several side-hustles that bring in a little extra money. I feel like I've lived a pretty modest lifestyle as an adult. I have only a couple of really nice things - that one guitar I have and my amp. Everything else I own is modest by USA standards: my PC is old and I got it 2nd hand, my house was only as much house as I needed at the time I bought it, my car is super modest, my bicycle is one of those entry-level ones, I still use a flip phone. Pretty much everything else that I have that sounds cool to have I've built myself.

But my stupid idea of buying a 2nd hand EV might have totally put my finances in the toilet. The damned thing keeps breaking and I certainly can't figure out how to fix it. The mechanic at the dealer whence I bought it obviously can't figure it out, either - at least I assume, because the only other option is that they're milking me at this point. I spent the last three days calling around, and every shop either says that they can't fix an EV, or that it'll be 30+ days before they'll even get to pop the hood open. The guy I spent the most time talking to - he said he knows a lot about EV's, but the second time I corrected him that I don't have a Prius, I lost faith in the guy. 

Looking at car prices now, I sure as hell can't afford a new car. If I buy another used one - well, the last two used cars I've owned cost me more in constant repairs than it would have cost me to get a new car - plus, at least around here, they're almost as much as new cars anyway. I live in the middle of nowhere. We're lucky enough to have a bus, but, the latest it'd drop me off at work is >2 hours before I start and the latest it'd pick me up from work would be 3 hours before I'm done. It's only like a 7-8 minute drive, so I tried walking, and it's actually great when the weather's nice, for the first day. I tried thinking I could catch the bus in and walk home, but then I didn't see the damned bus come by, so I ended up walking anyway. By the third day, my legs are killing me, because there are too many hills. I'm getting too old. I also don't love the idea of spending all of my free time M-F commuting.

Right now my stupid car is back at the dealer. I have no idea if they'll even bother looking at it any more. They won't even tell me at this point. I paid $80 to have it towed there based on a pretty stupid misunderstanding. At least that's a relatively great deal on towing, if you ignore the fact that it was towed there for no actual reason. 

All that time I was so happy not to be stuck working at home because my job is "essential," but now it's potentially just a matter of time before I'm stuck working from home because I'll be too poor to have my own transportation and too stupid not to move to a place where winters are -40° and steep hills covered in ice.

I think I'm just boned now.


----------



## thebeesknees22

bostjan said:


> I'm wondering how anyone can make ends meet right now. I have a good education (graduate degree), no student loans, I feel like I've worked really hard and continue to work hard, I have a good steady job, and I run several side-hustles that bring in a little extra money. I feel like I've lived a pretty modest lifestyle as an adult. I have only a couple of really nice things - that one guitar I have and my amp. Everything else I own is modest by USA standards: my PC is old and I got it 2nd hand, my house was only as much house as I needed at the time I bought it, my car is super modest, my bicycle is one of those entry-level ones, I still use a flip phone. Pretty much everything else that I have that sounds cool to have I've built myself.
> 
> But my stupid idea of buying a 2nd hand EV might have totally put my finances in the toilet. The damned thing keeps breaking and I certainly can't figure out how to fix it. The mechanic at the dealer whence I bought it obviously can't figure it out, either - at least I assume, because the only other option is that they're milking me at this point. I spent the last three days calling around, and every shop either says that they can't fix an EV, or that it'll be 30+ days before they'll even get to pop the hood open. The guy I spent the most time talking to - he said he knows a lot about EV's, but the second time I corrected him that I don't have a Prius, I lost faith in the guy.
> 
> Looking at car prices now, I sure as hell can't afford a new car. If I buy another used one - well, the last two used cars I've owned cost me more in constant repairs than it would have cost me to get a new car - plus, at least around here, they're almost as much as new cars anyway. I live in the middle of nowhere. We're lucky enough to have a bus, but, the latest it'd drop me off at work is >2 hours before I start and the latest it'd pick me up from work would be 3 hours before I'm done. It's only like a 7-8 minute drive, so I tried walking, and it's actually great when the weather's nice, for the first day. I tried thinking I could catch the bus in and walk home, but then I didn't see the damned bus come by, so I ended up walking anyway. By the third day, my legs are killing me, because there are too many hills. I'm getting too old. I also don't love the idea of spending all of my free time M-F commuting.
> 
> Right now my stupid car is back at the dealer. I have no idea if they'll even bother looking at it any more. They won't even tell me at this point. I paid $80 to have it towed there based on a pretty stupid misunderstanding. At least that's a relatively great deal on towing, if you ignore the fact that it was towed there for no actual reason.
> 
> All that time I was so happy not to be stuck working at home because my job is "essential," but now it's potentially just a matter of time before I'm stuck working from home because I'll be too poor to have my own transportation and too stupid not to move to a place where winters are -40° and steep hills covered in ice.
> 
> I think I'm just boned now.



I've been wondering that about Canada for quite a few years now. The cost of living is bananas, and has been for quite a while here. It seems like the US is heading the same way, and it's just 2-4 years behind where we're at currently depending on the area.


----------



## TedEH

The whole cost-of-living thing has been a lot of why I feel the need to stir up shit at work. Things aren't going to improve, and if I've hit a ceiling in my career, as much as I'm relatively doing well now, it won't be long before I'm boned too. It would feel foolish to not pursue the best I can get, for all kinds of reasons. I'm almost wondering if this signals the time I start applying to all the "dream jobs", places I figured maybe I could try for someday.



bostjan said:


> I still use a flip phone


I know it probably wasn't supposed to, but for some reason this detail drove home, or well punctuated, the rest of your story.


----------



## wheresthefbomb

My heart goes out to all of you struggling with the cost of living right now. 

I bought a fairly new 2019 car last year, I wouldn't say I regret it because it enables me to go to work, but making payments on this thing is really breaking the bank. On top of this, I still haven't recovered from the financial hole an injury combined with some less-than-stellar depressed decision making caused around new year's. My landlords are super cool about my whole situation, but it feels like I'm not even struggling to stay afloat anymore, feels like I'm just sinking really slowly. I have zero intention of getting this car repossessed, I'm paying the fucking thing off if it kills me, but there's room for little else in my life right now and it really weighs on me to think about 5.5 more years of this.


----------



## CanserDYI

wheresthefbomb said:


> My heart goes out to all of you struggling with the cost of living right now.
> 
> I bought a fairly new 2019 car last year, I wouldn't say I regret it because it enables me to go to work, but making payments on this thing is really breaking the bank. On top of this, I still haven't recovered from the financial hole an injury combined with some less-than-stellar depressed decision making caused around new year's. My landlords are super cool about my whole situation, but it feels like I'm not even struggling to stay afloat anymore, feels like I'm just sinking really slowly. I have zero intention of getting this car repossessed, I'm paying the fucking thing off if it kills me, but there's room for little else in my life right now and it really weighs on me to think about 5.5 more years of this.


 Tell me you bought the gap insurance? I had gap save the day twice on shitty loans and being smacked by drunks.


----------



## spudmunkey

My old boss reached out to me, from the company I was let go in January of 2021. She said they were looking for someone to...basically do my old job, and she said, "And of course it make me think of you"...but she just meant "as a friend" and not "for the position." That reeeeeeally got my hopes up, and once reality set in...NGL, it fucked me up quite a bit.


----------



## nightflameauto

I'm 99.99999% sure my marriage of twenty-two years ended this weekend. I got an ultimatum I couldn't comply with. I'm so tired and broken at this point, I can't even really be mad anymore. Just drained and sad.


----------



## thebeesknees22

nightflameauto said:


> I'm 99.99999% sure my marriage of twenty-two years ended this weekend. I got an ultimatum I couldn't comply with. I'm so tired and broken at this point, I can't even really be mad anymore. Just drained and sad.


ooof.... sorry to hear that man.


----------



## nightflameauto

thebeesknees22 said:


> ooof.... sorry to hear that man.


Thanks. It's been a long time coming, I guess.

Funny thing. My grandpa once told me men after his generation in our family aren't capable of making it twenty-five years in marriage. It seems it's rung true for all of us thus far. Thanks, gramps.


----------



## wheresthefbomb

nightflameauto said:


> I'm 99.99999% sure my marriage of twenty-two years ended this weekend. I got an ultimatum I couldn't comply with. I'm so tired and broken at this point, I can't even really be mad anymore. Just drained and sad.





nightflameauto said:


> Thanks. It's been a long time coming, I guess.
> 
> Funny thing. My grandpa once told me men after his generation in our family aren't capable of making it twenty-five years in marriage. It seems it's rung true for all of us thus far. Thanks, gramps.



My condolences, man. I've been through two divorces now, one from a really long relationship (though not quite 22 years). They were both also a long time coming. It's been my experience that ultimatums are generally the deathknell of relationships. When one person feels they need to communicate in that way, trust is likely irreparably broken long hence. 

Soon you'll get to enjoy the relief of not having the impeding doom of everything you've obviously been dealing with. I know that was a big relief for me, though bittersweet to let go of things I had clung to so tightly. I still wake up angry, rehashing arguments with my second ex-wife sometimes, though it's slowly fading.


----------



## nightflameauto

wheresthefbomb said:


> My condolences, man. I've been through two divorces now, one from a really long relationship (though not quite 22 years). They were both also a long time coming. It's been my experience that ultimatums are generally the deathknell of relationships. When one person feels they need to communicate in that way, trust is likely irreparably broken long hence.
> 
> Soon you'll get to enjoy the relief of not having the impeding doom of everything you've obviously been dealing with. I know that was a big relief for me, though bittersweet to let go of things I had clung to so tightly. I still wake up angry, rehashing arguments with my second ex-wife sometimes, though it's slowly fading.


Yeah, I consider it both a good and a bad sign that I already feel a slight sense of relief, just knowing that I've started the process of extricating myself from her. It fucking sucks, 'cause I do love her, but there have been so many false accusations thrown my way at this point, and now intricate analysis, nightly mind you, of every moment we've shared and telling me how I was cruel even in the early days, when she never said a word about it until the last few months.

It sucks, but I can feel the toxicity eating me from the inside.


----------



## High Plains Drifter

@nightflameauto Just wanted to offer my empathy and my support. How ever all of this plays out, just know that a relationship as far as what you've described here... toxic, resentful, and without trust is absolutely one that we all deserve and need to distance ourselves from. I'm sure you know that any negative thoughts and feelings that you're experiencing now will heal up and progressively get further and further behind you as time progresses. Please don't ignore acquiring the therapeutic and supportive tools for your mental and emotional well-being. Much support to you as you move forward.


----------



## nightflameauto

Well, I guess I just as well document it here,
The wife and I had a "talk." I know we've had some chemical abuse issues that have led us down some really dark paths. I've been trying to pull out of it for a long time now, but keep getting sucked back into it due to her insistence that it's the only way she can sleep.

We've made some promises to each other and we're going to see if we can start to heal together. We've both left the option that we split laying there in front of us for the moment. There was some minor sign of compromise from her, which I haven't heard or seen in years, so maybe a night separated sunk in that things aren't just entirely my fault.

I guess we'll see. While I don't feel great, I feel like, at the very least, there's hope. We'll see if that hope lasts. Some part of me wonders if I'm deluding myself, but I hate to drop twenty some years of good over what feels like just a few things blown up due to chemical abuse.


----------



## TedEH

I guess it feels pretty minor in the grand scheme, but had a sad moment yesterday:
I finished something I was reading and went to re-arrange some things on a book shelf to put the book away, 'cause I tend not to give anything a place on the shelf until I've finished it. Found a book I had borrowed from someone at work and never returned. It's too late to return it now, since the owner of the book passed away within the last year.


----------



## AwakenTheSkies

Wow I've been having terrible luck with 8 string packs lately  First I bought 2 DR sets where the string wouldn't fit in the tuner. This had never ever happened to me even with thicker strings, as usually they leave the beginning of the string unwound so you can fit it through. So I unwound it manually and of course that killed the string. Then I ordered 2 Ibanez sets and the first one I open has a defective 8th string. The string wasn't fully wound until like the 4th fret. So I had to open my 2nd set and get the 8th string from that one. Pretty much wasting sets of strings.


----------



## wheresthefbomb

My kitty cat is very sick, he is at the vet over the weekend with acute kidney disease. He might not make it at all, and either way I'm looking at up to $2000 in vet bills and very likely a reduced life expectancy for my beautiful baby boy. Though at this point I won't look a gift 3-5 years in the mouth when I am staring down the possibility that he could be euthanized by Monday.

I have some good support, his mom/my ex is pitching in, some family members and friends are pitching in too, I'm selling my 4x12 to a buddy, and I'm throwing all of the gear I can possibly sell on craigslist. I'm still really worried, and it's making me really sad. Got really stoned and cried a bunch earlier, planning on getting really stoned and crying more later also.

Please keep my beautiful baby boy in your thoughts.


----------



## BlackMastodon

wheresthefbomb said:


> My kitty cat is very sick, he is at the vet over the weekend with acute kidney disease. He might not make it at all, and either way I'm looking at up to $2000 in vet bills and very likely a reduced life expectancy for my beautiful baby boy. Though at this point I won't look a gift 3-5 years in the mouth when I am staring down the possibility that he could be euthanized by Monday.
> 
> I have some good support, his mom/my ex is pitching in, some family members and friends are pitching in too, I'm selling my 4x12 to a buddy, and I'm throwing all of the gear I can possibly sell on craigslist. I'm still really worried, and it's making me really sad. Got really stoned and cried a bunch earlier, planning on getting really stoned and crying more later also.
> 
> Please keep my beautiful baby boy in your thoughts.
> 
> View attachment 108032
> 
> 
> View attachment 108033


So sorry to hear! I hope your little guy pulls through and you 2 get to spend many more years together.


----------



## High Plains Drifter

@wheresthefbomb I'm so so sorry. I'm retaining a copious amount of hope that he'll pull through. You and your little boy will be in my thoughts as you deal with this. Much support, brother.


----------



## Metropolis

One of my friends have gone non-existent in the internet, deleted her social medias and deleted almost all search result data according to GDPR. I wonder if she's having a job where it's required to be somewhat anonymous, or something way worse. I had her phone number in some old phone, but... I don't even care about to do anymore secret agent's work. The thing is I don't like or care wast majority of the people in general, but she wasn't one of those for me.


----------



## Church2224

Finally pulled a trigger and broke it off permanently with my girlfriend today...

It's hard to put into words everything that has happened, so I will start from the beginning. I am mainly writing this as I am trying to process everything as I am having a hard time understanding what I am going through and honestly the heartbreak is heavy....

We started talking last June. At the time I had gotten news I was promoted to Project Manager at my job and if I did well at that for some time I would be made Account manager. I was also running my own landscape business with enough work that after everything I was pulling in over $2k a week buying whatever I wanted, on time with my bills and my finances were looking great. Between my job and my business I was on track to making well over 6 figures. I personally was walking in high cotton...

Then her and I met on Hinge and we started talking. She was absolutely gorgeous. However, a few red flags started to show. We would have conversations on the phone before we met and she would forget about them the next morning. She would say she did not want to meet me because looking at my social media she thought I was "too nerdy" and would not hold up to her standards. Well finally she thinks we should meet and we go out on out first date and grab dinner. We go for a walk, find a bench, talk and start making out like high schoolers. I take her back to her car and she has her head rested on my chest and tells me she does not want me to go anywhere. Next week we grab a hotel and dinner and have sex for the first time. Soon after I am going to her place every week and meeting her family, however we were not official. 

I start noticing more red flags. She drinks heavily, often taking pills as well. The way she talks to people is rude and not appropriate and she belittles me for my little ticks and thinks I could not stand with her "cool " friends. Also She wants me to keep going to her house and meet her family yet she does not want to meet mine, calls me nerdy for all of my interests and hobbies, and calls me a pussy because, at least she thought, I could not stand up for myself (She didn;t know a damn thing about my past and how I threw people against the wall if they messed with my friends and family). The real kicker is she does not want to make things official, she still wants to talk to other guys. 

A few weeks pass by and we find out she is pregnant and it is my child. She said she would get an abortion but being the man I am I told her not to and I would help with the baby since its my kid. And if she did not want the child, I would raise it. A few days later though she tells, though, she had a miscarriage, and we are left devastated. 

Soon after we decide to make things official because I stood up and told her I was not playing any more games as I am looking for something serious and would be moving on. We get serious and things go well, except when she drinks. She is verbally abusive and yells and talks down to me. Finally, I sat down with her that she needed to get better, and she does, staying with her parents to help. This goes well and it was the best time we were together. She tells me she wants to marry me and have a family, how great a person I am, ect. I start feeling the same way. We even talk about having a kid in the next year or two because she would be turning 35 and did not want to miss out on having a child. 

This lasts about a month and a half, she started drinking again and this point it is so bad she does not go to work for weeks on her. She also talks down to me and we continue to argue. My performance at work and my business start to suffer. Because she wants so much time with me I lose work and lost almost half of the work my business has in just a short amount of time. Also my bosses at my job begin to question what is going on as I show up late and have a hard time focusing. I also miss band practice and guitar lessons to help maintain everything. I tell her all of these things and she tells me "I don't care because you don't spend enough time with me anyway." We also start having less sex and she gets on me for working so much and spending time with my hobbies and passions. 

Well it gets to the point Mother's day I leave her house to go see my mom and have dinner with her and she decides to go to her sisters house. Well again she gets drunk and tells her sister I am not spending time with her and I should be with her, not my family on mother's day. She and her sister get into a fight and finally her sister had enough and calls me and tells me everything going on and tells me I need to end it with her because she needs help. That night my girl tells me she is going to kill herself and she is not happy with life. She also tells me, that the miscarriage she had, may not have been a miscarriage at all, but just a really bad period as the doctors never confirmed nor tested her for a miscarriage or pregnancy. I call her mom and dad who go by her house. She does not let them in and they call the police who say she claims I am just her ex and she is lying about everything.....

She calls me the next day and she is still drunk. Her mom goes to get her and her mom also tells me to end it with her because she needs help. My girl and I talk and I told her she needs help. She decides to stay with her parents again and get back to work. She spends a few days recovering from the withdrawals, eventually going back to work. Well we decide to try and work it out, until over the passed week there were a few times I was going to come see her and she cancels. She also begins missing work again. Meanwhile I am working my new job (left my previous job for a whole mess of reasons) being an supervisor for a landscape company while also running my own business. I also get heat exhaustion and feel sick most of the week this week. So I am tired and burnt out and she said she wants me over with her family for memorial and wants crazy sex beyond our wildest dreams. So today comes and I am packing up and getting ready to head over, when she calls me she does not want me to come and cannot emotionally handle us being together and wants us to be friends. At first she tries to put it back on me, and I finally snap. I hang up the phone, then try calling her, until I tell her I am finally done with everything and wish her a nice life....

I know this is a lot and I hope this all makes sense, it's been a very emotional day....

The thing that is really getting to me is I sacrificed my business, job, friendships, passions, band.... so much to maintain this relationship because this is the person who I thought I was going to marry, and this is how it ends. Thank you to anyone who has listened.

I just want to know has anyone been in a similar position and how did you get through it and recover?


----------



## High Plains Drifter

Church2224 said:


> Finally pulled a trigger and broke it off permanently with my girlfriend today...
> 
> I just want to know has anyone been in a similar position and how did you get through it and recover?


Throughout my life I've been in some insane relationships... like bad insane. I could look at those as "oh she was so crazy" and in many instances I'd say that was prob true but I can't say that I didn't contribute to enabling or exacerbating the really messed up ones. Sometimes you think you're doing the right thing and other times you're just trying to dodge the 'damned if I do/ damned if I don't' moments. Even for me, your story was tough to read. That's all just so fucked up and you have my most sincere condolences regarding what you've endured throughout... rough sailing, man.

For me, alcohol/ drug binge chicks usually went south the fastest for obvious reasons. Once a relationship makes my already stressful life, just a next-level hell, that's it. I can't let someone erode away my solace nor put my quality of life at risk. With your deal, it doesn't sound like a two-way street from the start, and some of the red flags like the alcohol/ pill shit... I woulda said bye. But it's seriously hard to turn your back and lotta times you're in deep before you know it. I've been in some longer lasting relationships that still failed even though the signs weren't immediately recognizable as failing or bound to fail. I think that it takes feeling as if you're receiving and mutually giving respect from the get go. And that should happen in a natural sense if it's real. It's part of a pretty necessary foundation imo. 

I married my wife in 2018 after we'd been together for about 2.5 years. The intimacy happened quickly but it didn't feel like a red-flag to me because the respect was pretty firmly in place. It didn't feel empty or forced or anything like sometimes in the past where I'd meet a girl and then it was like- bam... did we just do that? There was something about her character, her personality, her vibe... and obviously, our interaction. She's always made it easy for me to have compassion for her and to respect her wishes because that's what she shows me. Ultimately, she deserves to have the parts of me that I was never able or willing to give to anyone else... like marriage, buying a home together, adopting a cat lol, etc, etc. I wouldn't have done that stuff for or with anyone else. I'm sure that my wife and I will have some tough times ahead and we def have already but suffice it to say that I honestly couldn't imagine facing whatever with anyone else but her. 

If the red flags are there, then you really have to look at them very candidly but you also have to be able to communicate your concerns to your spouse/ partner and visa/versa without things turning into some kind of shit show. That negative energy can consume the fragile purity of a relationship that imo is pretty vital. I guess the 'no relationships are perfect' cliche comes in here but it's true.. my wife and I have disagreed and quibbled plenty. But we sincerely try to never be disrespectful towards one other and we try to genuinely listen and possess some degree of empathy or compassion... Except for all my really dumb "We should look at buying an Audi Q7" kinda stuff. 

You got this I'm sure. Be glad that you're ending it now as opposed to much later. Really hoping you'll find some resolve from where you're at now to where you'll find yourself in a few weeks or months.


----------



## CanserDYI

Run so far away from that woman that they don't even speak the same language where you go.


----------



## BlackMastodon

This is why I stopped going to the relationships thread. 

There were so many red flags at the start of that that I can't believe there were any green flags that outweighed it. Nobody should settle for someone who doesn't support their hobbies and passions, or at the very least tolerate them, and certainly don't put up with someone who actively shits on you for them. If you wouldn't deal with that kind of behaviour from someone who you would consider a friend, why would you accept that from a romantic partner? This is all even before the substance abuse problems.

Glad you got outta there but holy shit man, don't ignore the red flags when they're that blatent at the start.


----------



## LordCashew

Some therapists say that contempt is the master red flag for a relationship. Even in a long marriage, once someone starts actually despising the other person, the relationship is unlikely to survive. So if the relationship is new and the other person is already disgusted or annoyed by you or things about you, don't waste your time. Not like you have to check every imaginable box for them, but they should at least be a fan of you as a person.

I personally haven't experienced this in romance but in the context of "friendships" and broader social contexts I have. It's been very rare for me as an adult but the negativity is never worth it. So if I start feeling disgust or chronic resentment from a woman or weird competitive enmity from a dude, I just kindly and quietly move on. It's a bummer but you just don't owe people like that anything. I've never regretted it.


----------



## TedEH

Church2224 said:


> We started talking last June.


All of that is within the span of a _year_? Sweet jebus dude.

I know everyone's a bit different, but I've always personally had a loose "rule" where I wouldn't even _think_ about the idea of marriage or something that permanent with another person without being with them for a good handful of years, so the idea that it came up so fast in the story reads as an enormous flag to me. Like a good 5+ years or something is what makes sense to me. Long enough to make it just a formality, to have an excuse to throw a party for something you already know is good. Making that jump so early, in my eyes, always reads like an attempt to trap someone in a bad situation. I made the mistake once of vocalizing this to someone I was seeing - although at the time I said 3 instead of 5. She took it literally and at 3 years in I got the ultimatum. Nobody ultimatums me into a marriage and kids, to I gtfo and never looked back. And I would do it again.



CanserDYI said:


> Run so far away from that woman that they don't even speak the same language where you go.


This. All of this. We live in the future where relationships are whatever you want to make them - don't settle or give up any of yourself for any potential partner who can't or won't bring an equal share to the table without burning you down in the process.


----------



## Church2224

I appreciate the support guys.

You are not the only ones telling me about her red flags and issues. I was so focused on having some one again, and I thought I would never find anyone that else, that I justified her actions and the way my life was to the point I was in some dimension of denial I had never heard of. I kept telling myself it will get better, but it never did. It got so bad my dad at one point screamed at me "Get rid of her and leave her in the gutter where she belongs after all she has done to you!"

I had hobbies I kept away from her like action figure collection I thought she would judge me for and call me a nerd, and I never opened up to her about my grandfather passing away because I was afraid she would look at me as weak.


I learned a lot. I learned mainly I deserve a better partner in my life who is more supportive and contributing. Also to never compromise who I am for what I ultimately want. In the meantime I am going to take a break from dating. I have a life to live and I am left a little cynical and jaded from everything that I need to get my head on straight. I also have goals and ambitions I need to work on I left by the wayside, and friends I need to spend time with. I bought myself a Gibson Flying V in th meantime that I cannot wait to get in. Trying to do things that make me happy. 

Good news is a female friend of mine who is this hot bartender who is big into music hit me up yesterday after seeing I was single again. I don't care if anything happens but some positive company from the opposite sex would be a nice break. Again I am going to take a break but if opportunity comes Knockings....


----------



## bostjan

Church2224 said:


> I was so focused on having some one again, and I thought I would never find anyone that else, that I justified her actions and the way my life was to the point I was in some dimension of denial I had never heard of.


It sounds to me like you never really "had" her from the start. I don't know the situation beyond anything you just said, but it sounds like you were both feeding some sort of addiction for each other. Breaking off an addiction can feel just as bad as breaking off a meaningful relationship, but, with time, I think you'll have nothing but relief that you got out of this situation.


----------



## Millul

Church2224 said:


> I appreciate the support guys.
> 
> You are not the only ones telling me about her red flags and issues. I was so focused on having some one again, and I thought I would never find anyone that else, that I justified her actions and the way my life was to the point I was in some dimension of denial I had never heard of. I kept telling myself it will get better, but it never did. It got so bad my dad at one point screamed at me "Get rid of her and leave her in the gutter where she belongs after all she has done to you!"
> 
> I had hobbies I kept away from her like action figure collection I thought she would judge me for and call me a nerd, and I never opened up to her about my grandfather passing away because I was afraid she would look at me as weak.
> 
> 
> I learned a lot. I learned mainly I deserve a better partner in my life who is more supportive and contributing. Also to never compromise who I am for what I ultimately want. In the meantime I am going to take a break from dating. I have a life to live and I am left a little cynical and jaded from everything that I need to get my head on straight. I also have goals and ambitions I need to work on I left by the wayside, and friends I need to spend time with. I bought myself a Gibson Flying V in th meantime that I cannot wait to get in. Trying to do things that make me happy.
> 
> Good news is a female friend of mine who is this hot bartender who is big into music hit me up yesterday after seeing I was single again. I don't care if anything happens but some positive company from the opposite sex would be a nice break. Again I am going to take a break but if opportunity comes Knockings....



I respectfully suggest to avoid even the hot bartender for a while.
Enjoy being with yourself, retake ownership of your life/passions/friendships, THEN go out there and bang the bangable. - MHO


----------



## Church2224

bostjan said:


> It sounds to me like you never really "had" her from the start. I don't know the situation beyond anything you just said, but it sounds like you were both feeding some sort of addiction for each other. Breaking off an addiction can feel just as bad as breaking off a meaningful relationship, but, with time, I think you'll have nothing but relief that you got out of this situation.



I thought about this for a while after you posted this, and I have to saw to an extant you are right. I did care about her as a person and enjoyed the time I was with her, however I was trying to fill a void of not being with some one for some time I looked over her flaws and the stress I was in. I am glad I am out of it now though.

Also, I have to give you credit. You got me to think and deeply analyze something, and for that you have earned my respect. Kudos to you sir.


Millul said:


> I respectfully suggest to avoid even the hot bartender for a while.
> Enjoy being with yourself, retake ownership of your life/passions/friendships, THEN go out there and bang the bangable. - MHO



This is what I have been doing actually. I was a cynically jaded asshole for a few days but I got past that and now just trying to move forward. I am taking a break, playing more guitar, spending time with friends and family and taking care of myself like going to the gym and catching up on some sleep. I am getting there, all in due to. Thank you to everyone for their support.


----------



## AwakenTheSkies

I'm feeling crushed. Rock n' roll has been the love of my life since I first discovered it but I'm starting to regret taking music seriously. All the effort and the stress that I put myself through to get good has all been for basically nothing. But I love music so much that it just naturally felt like the right choice, and it still does. I don't know what else to do, I don't like anything else. Feel like a big failure.


----------



## bostjan

AwakenTheSkies said:


> I'm feeling crushed. Rock n' roll has been the love of my life since I first discovered it but I'm starting to regret taking music seriously. All the effort and the stress that I put myself through to get good has all been for basically nothing. But I love music so much that it just naturally felt like the right choice, and it still does. I don't know what else to do, I don't like anything else. Feel like a big failure.


What happened?!

Just keep on rocking. If anyone tells you to stop, ignore them.


----------



## Demiurge

AwakenTheSkies said:


> I'm feeling crushed. Rock n' roll has been the love of my life since I first discovered it but I'm starting to regret taking music seriously. All the effort and the stress that I put myself through to get good has all been for basically nothing. But I love music so much that it just naturally felt like the right choice, and it still does. I don't know what else to do, I don't like anything else. Feel like a big failure.


Musicans put way too much pressure on themselves to achieve some sort of success, oftentimes at the expense of actually enjoying playing music. If you love music, then anything you do with it- even just spinning a record during one's free time- should be worthwhile enough, ideally.


----------



## Glades

Keep your head up my dude. There are good women out there.
I met my wife in church 3 years ago and married 1 year ago. She is my best friend. Have NEVER had a single argument since we started dating and will have a little girl in a couple of weeks. Getting married to the right woman can be the biggest blessing in your life. Stay off the apps and meet a down to earth, selfless woman that will serve you and you will be happy for the rest of your days.


----------



## nightflameauto

AwakenTheSkies said:


> I'm feeling crushed. Rock n' roll has been the love of my life since I first discovered it but I'm starting to regret taking music seriously. All the effort and the stress that I put myself through to get good has all been for basically nothing. But I love music so much that it just naturally felt like the right choice, and it still does. I don't know what else to do, I don't like anything else. Feel like a big failure.


I've been feeling this way about literally every aspect of my life today. It'll pass, man. Always does. Just keep doing what ya do for your own enjoyment. Everybody else can eat dicks. Fuck 'em.


----------



## AwakenTheSkies

bostjan said:


> What happened?!
> 
> Just keep on rocking. If anyone tells you to stop, ignore them.


Nahhh people around me have been encouraging for the most part. It's me. I love music itself. But I hate everything concerning marketing, social media, business, trying to be social and that's what it seems to be about.

Also listening to some great albums, where it's track after track of just great music. And feeling that no matter how hard I push myself I will never make music that good. Some rare riff if I get lucky.

I wanted to make a band to play my stuff live so long ago, and that never happened. I keep learning more stuff to make music by myself and it's not working out for me. The bad outweighs the good. I just keep making music because it's like second nature and I'm insanely stubborn. And I see the guys who quit when younger end up picking it up again when older and regretting that they quit. But maybe it's not worth it to keep going? Maybe my stubborness is better focused on something else? Move someplace else and do something entirely different with my life and try to forget about all this..


----------



## bostjan

AwakenTheSkies said:


> Nahhh people around me have been encouraging for the most part. It's me. I love music itself. But I hate everything concerning marketing, social media, business, trying to be social and that's what it seems to be about.
> 
> Also listening to some great albums, where it's track after track of just great music. And feeling that no matter how hard I push myself I will never make music that good. Some rare riff if I get lucky.
> 
> I wanted to make a band to play my stuff live so long ago, and that never happened. I keep learning more stuff to make music by myself and it's not working out for me. The bad outweighs the good. I just keep making music because it's like second nature and I'm insanely stubborn. And I see the guys who quit when younger end up picking it up again when older and regretting that they quit. But maybe it's not worth it to keep going? Maybe my stubborness is better focused on something else? Move someplace else and do something entirely different with my life and try to forget about all this..


Is it playing or all of the bullshit that goes along with playing?


----------



## Adieu

I just had to "donate" $500-something to USCIS... for extension of a green card despite having a scheduled citizenship interview

And 85% of that was for a "biometrics fee", which was already once charged for the citizenship.

And which apparently WON'T actually be done in either case, because they already have my biometric-whatever on file.

Doesn't prevent gubmint from charging for this nonexistent service, though. Repeatedly.


----------



## Anquished

I sold a guitar I liked a lot to pay my bills this month. 

Car insurance, maintenance charges, etc all hit at once.


----------



## thebeesknees22

Anquished said:


> I sold a guitar I liked a lot to pay my bills this month.
> 
> Car insurance, maintenance charges, etc all hit at once.


damn.... sorry dude. Hope things improve so you don't have to do that again.


----------



## MFB

Live podcast show next month got cancelled due to scheduling conflicts, and Alkaline Trio got put on as the replacement for DGD with Coheed - a band who is quintessential early 00s pop-punk that I don't care for; so I listed my tickets for that show for sale too, and at worst I just show up really late to catch Coheed and skip both the openers.


----------



## Kaura

Read an article that early 00´s fashion, music and other things are trending among young people who were barely even alive during that time. Now I know how 80´s kids feel...


----------



## wheresthefbomb

Kaura said:


> Read an article that early 00´s fashion, music and other things are trending among young people who were barely even alive during that time. Now I know how 80´s kids feel...



Lifehack: Be a goth/scene/emo/egirl, then those things never stopped trending.

If there's one thing I've learned working in public schools as an adult it's that black nail polish is timeless.


----------



## Kaura

wheresthefbomb said:


> Lifehack: Be a goth/scene/emo/egirl, then those things never stopped trending.
> 
> If there's one thing I've learned working in public schools as an adult it's that black nail polish is timeless.



Seeing you're from Alaska maybe the goth wave of mid-00´s finally hit you. while the rest of the world already moved on, but god I wish it didn't. I was born like 2-3 years too late to enjoy the prime goth/emo movement.


----------



## wheresthefbomb

Kaura said:


> Seeing you're from Alaska maybe the goth wave of mid-00´s finally hit you. while the rest of the world already moved on, but god I wish it didn't. I was born like 2-3 years too late to enjoy the prime goth/emo movement.



That's entirely possible, we had goth kids when I was in HS 2001-2005, but they were more your 80s style trenchcoat goths, and scene kids only existed on the internet for me during that time. My dad thought I was gonna go all columbine when I came home with black nail polish one day. I still wear it and send him pics regularly  

Also looking back we did have a fair number of juggalos, at least as many as goth kids. Interesting that phenomenon seemed to travel more quickly, I have a suspicion it's because of the rural, alcoholic, bumpkiny-snow-hillbilly vibes of my dear hometown.


----------



## bostjan

Here in the land of lumberjacks, I sort of missed the whole hipster fashion trend. It just seemed like the burly bearded men in flannels and suspenders suddenly started getting more tattoos and more piercings. 

I don't think my generation's most mainstream trends are likely to come back in full force ever. Maybe just the baggy clothing part. Hopefully not the hair. Who knows, though.


----------



## Kaura

wheresthefbomb said:


> That's entirely possible, we had goth kids when I was in HS 2001-2005, but they were more your 80s style trenchcoat goths, and scene kids only existed on the internet for me during that time. My dad thought I was gonna go all columbine when I came home with black nail polish one day. I still wear it and send him pics regularly
> 
> Also looking back we did have a fair number of juggalos, at least as many as goth kids. Interesting that phenomenon seemed to travel more quickly, I have a suspicion it's because of the rural, alcoholic, bumpkiny-snow-hillbilly vibes of my dear hometown.



That's cool to hear. It's funny, when I was a kid I thought Alaska was just an extention of the main US with big cities and shit. But for the last few years I thought it was totally backwoods hillbilly kind of state because even the capital has less people than the small town I grew up in but your story makes it seem that it's somewhat civilized at least to some extent. 

Edit: Speaking of Alaska, are you also experiencing the wonder of summer time as in the sun not settling for more than a couple of hours?


----------



## wheresthefbomb

Kaura said:


> That's cool to hear. It's funny, when I was a kid I thought Alaska was just an extention of the main US with big cities and shit. But for the last few years I thought it was totally backwoods hillbilly kind of state because even the capital has less people than the small town I grew up in but your story makes it seem that it's somewhat civilized at least to some extent.
> 
> Edit: Speaking of Alaska, are you also experiencing the wonder of summer time as in the sun not settling for more than a couple of hours?



Yes, I live in Fairbanks, "the land of the midnight sun." We don't have 24 proper hours of daylight, but for most of summer the darkest it gets is "twilightish." My tomatoes are loving it.

Alaska is both of those things. We have Anchorage, which is our "big city" with tall buildings and traffic and such. The town I'm in has two overpasses, but it sprawls far outside the city limits, generally speaking higher elevation you have rich people houses with $million views, then down in the swamps and valleys the poors live in their dry cabins and tweaker trash castles.

Then there are the villages, we don't have reservations here but many of the indigenous population still live in their traditional areas, many of which are accessible only by plane or boat.

On my road alone you can walk from one end to the other and literally observe the gradient of ramshackle trash castles slowly getting bigger and less trashy until you turn up the hill and all of a sudden it's private drives and big windows.


----------



## Kaura

wheresthefbomb said:


> Yes, I live in Fairbanks, "the land of the midnight sun." We don't have 24 proper hours of daylight, but for most of summer the darkest it gets is "twilightish." My tomatoes are loving it.
> 
> Alaska is both of those things. We have Anchorage, which is our "big city" with tall buildings and traffic and such. The town I'm in has two overpasses, but it sprawls far outside the city limits, generally speaking higher elevation you have rich people houses with $million views, then down in the swamps and valleys the poors live in their dry cabins and tweaker trash castles.
> 
> Then there are the villages, we don't have reservations here but many of the indigenous population still live in their traditional areas, many of which are accessible only by plane or boat.
> 
> On my road alone you can walk from one end to the other and literally observe the gradient of ramshackle trash castles slowly getting bigger and less trashy until you turn up the hill and all of a sudden it's private drives and big windows.



Sounds nice! Hope I can visit The Last Frontier one day.


----------



## AwakenTheSkies

bostjan said:


> Is it playing or all of the bullshit that goes along with playing?


I love the guitar. But I think letting go is the right thing to do. I've been stuck in a dead end for years now just being a bedroom shredder and producer, and it's not giving me what I want. I have another career path in mind. Just feel terrible about giving up on my dream and the worst thought for me is losing the skills that I worked so hard to get in the first place. My guitars and my plugins will be there no matter what I do, but the skills...


----------



## KnightBrolaire

My cousin's kid has a stage 4 bone cancer.


----------



## Metropolis

Kaura said:


> Read an article that early 00´s fashion, music and other things are trending among young people who were barely even alive during that time. Now I know how 80´s kids feel...


And their baggy oversized clothes look like shit in my opinion, as it looked in between 90's/00's. Best sort of "timelessness" is to borrow good things from different decades and twist it to sort of a trend, but this is just not one of those in my opinion.


----------



## Legion

Anxiety and depression are fucking crippling things.



Yeah I'm getting help, but hot damn getting through a day without feeling utterly terrified of some catastrophized imaginary scenario and feeling hopeless about avoiding said scenario is... Tough.


----------



## CanserDYI

I hate the situation im in. I just started a job 2 weeks ago that im in dire need of, and dont think ill be able to find another that pays what it pays any time/place soon/near. I have been forced to listen to so much offensive stuff between a few higher ups about their issues with transexuals, joe biden, etc just a bunch of right wing pro gun nut anti trans/gay sentiments and the like. I want to say something but i dont want to be shunned as its a family business and I dont want to ruffle any feathers here. I fucking hate this.


----------



## BlackMastodon

CanserDYI said:


> I hate the situation im in. I just started a job 2 weeks ago that im in dire need of, and dont think ill be able to find another that pays what it pays any time/place soon/near. I have been forced to listen to so much offensive stuff between a few higher ups about their issues with transexuals, joe biden, etc just a bunch of right wing pro gun nut anti trans/gay sentiments and the like. I want to say something but i dont want to be shunned as its a family business and I dont want to ruffle any feathers here. I fucking hate this.


That's brutal, man, sorry you have to deal with that. Hoping you can tough it out for a while until you can find something better.


----------



## Millul

KnightBrolaire said:


> My cousin's kid has a stage 4 bone cancer.


Man that's...that's horrible. Sorry that's happening.


----------



## KnightBrolaire

Millul said:


> Man that's...that's horrible. Sorry that's happening.


It's even worse since he just graduated high school and has to deal with this shit. He has a very rare type of cancer, so it's been a fucking nightmare to find places that have experience treating it.


----------



## CanserDYI

I have no idea how to bring myself out of bed to an 8-5 anymore. I did it for years, and then got to work from home for 2 years and now I just feel like all my fucking time is stolen from me. Every ounce of what I do I could do from home, even speaking to coworkers 10 feet from me is usually done digitally. I feel like I'm wasting away at this building while my children are growing up and I don't get to be a part of it because my family needs to eat. Fuck this lifestyle we have adopted. Fuck working these corporate ass jobs, and the only other option? Be a capitalist cog and start my own business.

I fucking hate this.


----------



## nightflameauto

CanserDYI said:


> I have no idea how to bring myself out of bed to an 8-5 anymore. I did it for years, and then got to work from home for 2 years and now I just feel like all my fucking time is stolen from me. Every ounce of what I do I could do from home, even speaking to coworkers 10 feet from me is usually done digitally. I feel like I'm wasting away at this building while my children are growing up and I don't get to be a part of it because my family needs to eat. Fuck this lifestyle we have adopted. Fuck working these corporate ass jobs, and the only other option? Be a capitalist cog and start my own business.
> 
> I fucking hate this.


Preach it, brother!

What really pisses me off is how much work I got done working from home. I could bust out in four hours what took me ten hours sitting in the office to do. I got more done, and had more free time.

Now I'm bogged down barely able to complete assignments, stuck running to meetings that used to all be over Teams five times a week, just to watch execs bat the yarn ball of conversation around the table while the rest of us nod numbly, then scrambling to get any work done before I have to spend twenty to forty minutes on the road, depending on which parts of town the city has fucked up today, and try to manage to take care of the house before getting to bed and starting the cycle of failure over again.

This is life? This is a fuckin' hamster wheel meant to distract us from living. Fucking hell.


----------



## CanserDYI

nightflameauto said:


> Preach it, brother!
> 
> What really pisses me off is how much work I got done working from home. I could bust out in four hours what took me ten hours sitting in the office to do. I got more done, and had more free time.
> 
> Now I'm bogged down barely able to complete assignments, stuck running to meetings that used to all be over Teams five times a week, just to watch execs bat the yarn ball of conversation around the table while the rest of us nod numbly, then scrambling to get any work done before I have to spend twenty to forty minutes on the road, depending on which parts of town the city has fucked up today, and try to manage to take care of the house before getting to bed and starting the cycle of failure over again.
> 
> This is life? This is a fuckin' hamster wheel meant to distract us from living. Fucking hell.


A fuckin men, man. 

My commute now is *ONLY* 20 minutes, but god damn, with gas the way it is now, I went from barely spending anything on gasoline, to spending almost 100 bucks a pay period on gas. I was so stoked to get a pay increase, but that increase just went to getting my ass back to the office! To do everything on a fucking PC virtually, twiddling my thumbs and playing mobile games while I wait for shit to come in. I used to fucking play guitar ALLLLLLLLL day long. I had a guitar in my hands literally the entire day. I was getting riffs crunched, basslines laid down, drum tracks smacked out, all while customers were on hold or waiting for other shit. 

I did so much more work then, so much less stress, got to hang out with my kids ALL the time, I was a much happier and more productive worker.


----------



## thebeesknees22

CanserDYI said:


> A fuckin men, man.
> 
> My commute now is *ONLY* 20 minutes, but god damn, with gas the way it is now, I went from barely spending anything on gasoline, to spending almost 100 bucks a pay period on gas. I was so stoked to get a pay increase, but that increase just went to getting my ass back to the office! To do everything on a fucking PC virtually, twiddling my thumbs and playing mobile games while I wait for shit to come in. I used to fucking play guitar ALLLLLLLLL day long. I had a guitar in my hands literally the entire day. I was getting riffs crunched, basslines laid down, drum tracks smacked out, all while customers were on hold or waiting for other shit.
> 
> I did so much more work then, so much less stress, got to hang out with my kids ALL the time, I was a much happier and more productive worker.


one of the bigger studios in my industry just mandated a code system for having to work in the office.
green- wfh
yellow - some hybrid setup where some days were in the office
red - in the office 5 days a week. 

They're the only studio I know of to mandate that so far. The thing is in my industry all projects are "red" as they're always in a crunch these days lol

It'll be interesting to see if they have a mass exodus. 

so far my studio is still all wfh, and I don't see it changing. I know I'd say C-ya! as there are other options out there right now if they ever do. There's just no reason we have to be in the office. And covid is rising again sooooooooo


Sucks they're making you be there


----------



## creepymcpeepers

CanserDYI said:


> I have no idea how to bring myself out of bed to an 8-5 anymore. I did it for years, and then got to work from home for 2 years and now I just feel like all my fucking time is stolen from me. Every ounce of what I do I could do from home, even speaking to coworkers 10 feet from me is usually done digitally. I feel like I'm wasting away at this building while my children are growing up and I don't get to be a part of it because my family needs to eat. Fuck this lifestyle we have adopted. Fuck working these corporate ass jobs, and the only other option? Be a capitalist cog and start my own business.
> 
> I fucking hate this.


I know the feeling man except not for the kid part… I wish I had the answer… I have plenty of suggestions that are not any good and would get us no where but jail or dead…..


----------



## creepymcpeepers

Legion said:


> Anxiety and depression are fucking crippling things.
> 
> 
> 
> Yeah I'm getting help, but hot damn getting through a day without feeling utterly terrified of some catastrophized imaginary scenario and feeling hopeless about avoiding said scenario is... Tough.


I have been there on all 7 levels…. Maybe the help wil be good for you.. for me the medicine took my
Appetite away left my mouth feeling dry and made me feel like a zombie… look into natural
Methods as well as pharmaceutical my dude… I don’t know your exact situation but when I was going through it little things like changing my diet rearranging a room or getting excercise and spending time in nature did wonders…


----------



## creepymcpeepers

Legion said:


> Anxiety and depression are fucking crippling things.
> 
> 
> 
> Yeah I'm getting help, but hot damn getting through a day without feeling utterly terrified of some catastrophized imaginary scenario and feeling hopeless about avoiding said scenario is... Tough.


I know my mind makes up stuff that I worry about that isn’t even a thing yet.
Also bosses and people at work always make me nervous so if they watch me work I start doing things not as good.


----------



## creepymcpeepers

wheresthefbomb said:


> Yes, I live in Fairbanks, "the land of the midnight sun." We don't have 24 proper hours of daylight, but for most of summer the darkest it gets is "twilightish." My tomatoes are loving it.
> 
> Alaska is both of those things. We have Anchorage, which is our "big city" with tall buildings and traffic and such. The town I'm in has two overpasses, but it sprawls far outside the city limits, generally speaking higher elevation you have rich people houses with $million views, then down in the swamps and valleys the poors live in their dry cabins and tweaker trash castles.
> 
> Then there are the villages, we don't have reservations here but many of the indigenous population still live in their traditional areas, many of which are accessible only by plane or boat.
> 
> On my road alone you can walk from one end to the other and literally observe the gradient of ramshackle trash castles slowly getting bigger and less trashy until you turn up the hill and all of a sudden it's private drives and big windows





Alex Kenivel said:


> This year was my favorite guitar class I taught (at my fiancées elementary school she teaches at). We had our last day today and I probably wont see some of these kids anymore, whom I've taught chords and rhythm to, and are now writing songs and winning contests.
> 
> These kids make me so proud.
> 
> I hope we get visits when they're older.


I wish my school would of had something like this


----------



## creepymcpeepers

rectifryer said:


> Because I can't find a steady lineup for a band.


Just make music yourself screw a band….


----------



## creepymcpeepers

Alex Kenivel said:


> I moved across the country away from everyone I knew/my family.
> 
> It sucked. Drove all the way from California to Virginia with ALL my stuff. Gear, CPU with recording stuff, comic book collection and stamp collection that was given to me, most of my clothes, skateboards, list goes on. Had to fly back and leave it all there.
> 
> Your situation might be different, I didn't feel like spilling all my guts about the move, but I'll tell you I wasn't moving for a career.


Dang dude I’m sorry man… I know it don’t fix your problems but I really thought this sucked when I read about it….it makes me want to try to start some kind of cheer this dude up comitee but I know it will probably just piss you off more


----------



## creepymcpeepers

mr_rainmaker said:


> Ahole neighbor shot and killed my fave cat.....


Damn dude… I had this happen to one of my dogs ….sometimes I wish we could bring back eye for an eye


----------



## creepymcpeepers

Emperor Guillotine said:


> So, I am required to take and pass a 200 level language course. I chose to study Spanish in high school, so of course I picked to continue Spanish in college. I took the online placement test and passed into the 200 level. (So no 100 level for me! Hooray, one less class, means I can save money and time!) However, the instructor of my SPN-201 course (which starts tomorrow) emailed the class an extensive 15-page list of terms that we need to know and said we will be talking in Spanish every day in class.....and I know like.....a small handful of the terms. I am f***ed. I AM F***ED. Pissing money away or drop.


Spanish is kind of easy man I think you can do it I live in texas and I have picked up on a lot of it just from being around the beaners they really love to teach you the bad words then laugh at how we sound when we say them


----------



## creepymcpeepers

mr_rainmaker said:


> same Freaking neighbor shot my moms fave cat....
> what is wrong with people.....


So why are they shooting these cats!! I mean i understand a nuisance animal killing but what harm is this cat possibly causing?


----------



## thebeesknees22

I finished all of One Piece on netflix this morning

I....I feel so empty now that it's over 

I'll have to wait for netflix to catch up to rest of the seasons now.


----------



## CanserDYI

creepymcpeepers said:


> Damn dude… I had this happen to one of my dogs ….sometimes I wish we could bring back eye for an eye


Brother man, this thread is OLD. You're replying to people that havent posted really since 2015.


----------



## creepymcpeepers

I’m sad cause I have to pass a test to get to go to cdl school for free and I had to guess on all the math problems cause I don’t remember math and the second half of algebra in high school I was in alternative school and they just give you a packet of work to do that isn’t where you really are in your school and don’t even check if your doing it so I don’t know math very well any more I just asked google most of the questions why do stupid people have to live shitty lives? Are they inferior to smart people or something? But rich peoples stupid kids get to get a free pass?? What would happen if stupid people got all the good jobs? Of course all the smart people will say that it would be horrible cause they live fairy tale lives…but let’s play what if… what if all the world problems they present to us are really just a ploy to keep the people who can pass tests in a better position in life… what if the test aren’t even real… I think we are living in a simulation


----------



## creepymcpeepers

I guess I could have guessed wrong on the placement module to see where you were at to get an easier test that is some algebra for you huh? The missing value is I guess stupidly to get an easier test and pass it or something hmmm indunno maybe this is just another haiku


----------



## creepymcpeepers

I get another chance if I fail
If I have to take my other chance I will guess all the wrong answers on the placement module easy questions to see if I get a easier test generated by the computer


----------



## creepymcpeepers

And. Now they ask about punctuation


----------



## jaxadam

creepymcpeepers said:


> And. Now they ask about punctuation



I am very sad
My punctuation is bad
Isn't that shit rad?


----------



## creepymcpeepers

jaxadam said:


> I am very sad
> My punctuation is bad
> Isn't that shit rad?


Yes!!!!
Why do truck drivers neeed commas give me one good reason


----------



## jaxadam

creepymcpeepers said:


> Yes!!!!
> Why do truck drivers neeed commas give me one good reason



Driving in my truck
An audio book is on
Can't hear the commas!


----------



## gunshow86de

I wasn't able to begin in the morning with Ikaria Lean Belly Juice.


----------



## thebeesknees22

gunshow86de said:


> I wasn't able to begin in the morning with Ikaria Lean Belly Juice.


is that a euphemism for having a to do a liquid poo


----------



## High Plains Drifter

thebeesknees22 said:


> is that a euphemism for having a to do a liquid poo


Spammer thread title from earlier today


----------



## thebeesknees22

High Plains Drifter said:


> Spammer thread title from earlier today


oh ha i missed it


----------



## creepymcpeepers

jaxadam said:


> Driving in my truck
> An audio book is on
> Can't hear the commas!


Hey I love audio books except I tried to listen moby dick after I did blood and thunder cover and had no idea what they were taking about… I like the hatchet audio book though and there’s a part two of the hatchet… have you ever read a book called wait till Helen comes…they should do a porn parody of it givin the title lolzzz I’m vulgar the books good though


----------



## creepymcpeepers

Oh there is also a kool book called taley poe


----------



## creepymcpeepers

CanserDYI said:


> Brother man, this thread is OLD. You're replying to people that havent posted really since 2015.





CanserDYI said:


> Brother man, this thread is OLD. You're replying to people that havent posted really since 2015.


Oh I guess I noticed the dates after I started posting lol sorry dude … I’m going go look at a different thread ….


----------



## High Plains Drifter

I had a dream where I woke up and it was raining but I thought it might be a dream so I went outside to see if it was really raining and it was and I was so excited but when I actually woke up it was not raining.

We desperately need rain.


----------



## creepymcpeepers

High Plains Drifter said:


> I had a dream where I woke up and it was raining but I thought it might be a dream so I went outside to see if it was really raining and it was and I was so excited but when I actually woke up it was not raining.
> 
> We desperately need rain.


It’s not raining there either?


----------



## High Plains Drifter

Three months.. nope


----------



## thebeesknees22

ah maaaaannnnnnnn

My Adam Sub8 just died.....It was getting old, but I was hoping it'd last until I could get moved next year.


Fudge..


----------



## creepymcpeepers

thebeesknees22 said:


> ah maaaaannnnnnnn
> 
> My Adam Sub8 just died.....It was getting old, but I was hoping it'd last until I could get moved next year.
> 
> 
> Fudge..


Sorry dude


----------



## thebeesknees22

thanks man

it was only a matter of time, but the timing lol.... is not good for this lol


----------



## creepymcpeepers

thebeesknees22 said:


> thanks man
> 
> it was only a matter of time, but the timing lol.... is not good for this lol


So they just die? The only reason is I have my first set of monitors and wondering the life expectancy I guess


----------



## BlackMastodon

creepymcpeepers said:


> So they just die? The only reason is I have my first set of monitors and wondering the life expectancy I guess


*takes a huge bong rip* Everything dies eventually, man. 

*exhales*


----------



## creepymcpeepers

BlackMastodon said:


> *takes a huge bong rip* Everything dies eventually, man.
> 
> *exhales*


Man I haven’t smoked bud in almost two months dude but I’m much more productive though


----------



## creepymcpeepers

BlackMastodon said:


> *takes a huge bong rip* Everything dies eventually, man.
> 
> *exhales*


After I get my cdl and work for a few years I’m gonna get a underground swimming pool and my house remodeled and a privacy fence that you can’t see through the cracks I’m going swimming butt naked


----------



## thebeesknees22

creepymcpeepers said:


> So they just die? The only reason is I have my first set of monitors and wondering the life expectancy I guess


There was no sound out of the sub. My monitors were still getting sound. (signal routes though the sub and back to the monitors), and the sub was showing power, but nothin' was coming out of the sub

I flip a few of the switches back and forth and it started making sound again, but it's really weak. It sounds like it's getting more of the upper lows and not the low lows now. 

I'll try again tomorrow if i get time, and run a sonarworks calibration to see if it's just me or if something funky is going on.


----------



## creepymcpeepers

thebeesknees22 said:


> There was no sound out of the sub. My monitors were still getting sound. (signal routes though the sub and back to the monitors), and the sub was showing power, but nothin' was coming out of the sub
> 
> I flip a few of the switches back and forth and it started making sound again, but it's really weak. It sounds like it's getting more of the upper lows and not the low lows now.
> 
> I'll try again tomorrow if i get time, and run a sonarworks calibration to see if it's just me or if something funky is going on.


The other day my focus right started having a weed blue light and I had it pitcshiftex and why hearing the dry and the wet and going through every where looking for something plug in open or a track in my daw but the. I went to focus rite control and somee how all
My outputs became unmuted I was scared


----------



## High Plains Drifter

Wife has covid
Sister has covid
Brother in law has covid
Niece just miscarried 
And just got penalized for a retirement payout that went from over $1400 to just under $550. Shoulda rolled that fucker over, welp.


----------



## creepymcpeepers

High Plains Drifter said:


> Wife has covid
> Sister has covid
> Brother in law has covid
> Niece just miscarried
> And just got penalized for a retirement payout that went from over $1400 to just under $550. Shoulda rolled that fucker over, welp.


Sorry dude is covid getting worst now???


----------



## High Plains Drifter

I dunno.. it is in my family anyway... Wife caught it after five of her employees had it so maybe. No one I know has severe symptoms like with delta but the long lasting effects are kinda concerning.. brain fog, fatigue, and all that.


----------



## creepymcpeepers

High Plains Drifter said:


> I dunno.. it is in my family anyway... Wife caught it after five of her employees had it so maybe. No one I know has severe symptoms like with delta but the long lasting effects are kinda concerning.. brain fog, fatigue, and all that.


Bro I’m lifting your family up dude


----------



## High Plains Drifter

Don't lift em too high. We are a short legged people and we get scared when elevated too far off the ground.


----------



## p0ke

High Plains Drifter said:


> I dunno.. it is in my family anyway... Wife caught it after five of her employees had it so maybe. No one I know has severe symptoms like with delta but the long lasting effects are kinda concerning.. brain fog, fatigue, and all that.


Yeah, fingers crossed you guys don't get any of that shit. My family got lucky, we all had it in the spring and the symptoms were milder than the normal flu with seemingly no lasting effects.


----------



## creepymcpeepers

I never ever got it maybe I’m immune but I also never left my house the whole lockdown and about 6 months early and would only go to the grocery store at about the moment they opened up so no one was around but that’s why kind of loopy now


----------



## High Plains Drifter

p0ke said:


> Yeah, fingers crossed you guys don't get any of that shit. My family got lucky, we all had it in the spring and the symptoms were milder than the normal flu with seemingly no lasting effects.


Really glad when I hear of those that had no long-term effects. My wife is still testing positive but she had to go back to work yesterday as she only has so much paid-leave. And she felt better as of this past weekend... no more symptoms aside from lingering congestion and mild headaches. 

But it really scared me last night when she came home looking rough as shit. Said that she had felt disoriented throughout the day, was forgetting things, and was just exhausted and out of it. She's NEVER like that. She went to bed almost immediately after getting home and slept for about 11 hours. She said that other coworkers also complained of these types of lingering effects and that after a week or so they felt back to normal, but fuck... that's scary shit. I don't like thinking about her zoning out while driving and getting in an accident or doing something that winds up getting her hurt or loosing her job cause she's unable to focus on her responsibilities or something. I just hope she gets back to herself asap because this zombie-version of her is def concerning atm. 

Thanks, dude.


----------



## CanserDYI

@High Plains Drifter sending my thoughts and (?)prayers (atheist vibrations? I dunno what you're supposed to say if you know god is dead) your way and hope you guys recover quickly and safely. 

While yes there is a joke in there, I mean the comment.


----------



## High Plains Drifter

Atheist vibrations are better than prayers in this house. That at least made me smile whereas prayers woulda just made me think of you and Glades skipping hand in hand through god-kissed poppy fields... stopping every so often to point your assault rifles to the sky and rat-a-tat-tat in praise. 

Thanks, brother... very much appreciate the support.


----------



## creepymcpeepers

It made me laugh to


----------



## High Plains Drifter

lol you dudes are silly as fuck


----------



## Demiurge

High Plains Drifter said:


> But it really scared me last night when she came home looking rough as shit. Said that she had felt disoriented throughout the day, was forgetting things, and was just exhausted and out of it. She's NEVER like that. She went to bed almost immediately after getting home and slept for about 11 hours. She said that other coworkers also complained of these types of lingering effects and that after a week or so they felt back to normal, but fuck... that's scary shit. I don't like thinking about her zoning out while driving and getting in an accident or doing something that winds up getting her hurt or loosing her job cause she's unable to focus on her responsibilities or something. I just hope she gets back to herself asap because this zombie-version of her is def concerning atm.



When I had COVID, the "brain fog" lasted twice as long as the cold/flu symptoms. Luckily, I work from home and the current workload model at my job is for everyone to be atrociously behind, so it didn't have a drastic effect. There's no substitute for rest in this phase.


----------



## High Plains Drifter

Demiurge said:


> When I had COVID, the "brain fog" lasted twice as long as the cold/flu symptoms. Luckily, I work from home and the current workload model at my job is for everyone to be atrociously behind, so it didn't have a drastic effect. There's no substitute for rest in this phase.


Seems that you're dead on with your sleep assessment. When she got up yesterday after a lotta sleep, she said she felt much much better than the previous day. And last night she came home feeling better than the previous day. She was still tired cause she puts in 10+ hr shifts BUT she had fewer issues with disorientation and fatigue and she attributes that to getting a lot of rest the night before. And even though she was feeling better last night, I encouraged her to get to bed asap. She did and is still sleeping now. Yeah... Good advice, man. Thank you.


----------



## wheresthefbomb

I spent the better part of 10 years helping out with a local, free, all ages music festival. Unfortunately, internal tensions eventually one out, and a very small group of the organizers decided that the festival was not happening anymore after a very tough summer for us all in 2018.

I poured substantial portions of my life into that festival, the last year we did it I organized the lineup and was half of the kitchen organizing committee while working two full-time jobs.

without getting into the ugly details stretching out over a decade, I felt consistently undermined and under-appreciated by the time all was said and done, a fairy common experience for people not "in the club" it would turn out.

Anyway, I have been hearing rumors recently that the festival is starting up again, and to be honest I am really fucking angry, and also really fucking sad that nobody even reached out to me to see if I was interested in helping.

I probably don't actually want to be around that, those people did not respect me, and while I love the event and what it stands for, it was not a good environment for me despite all of the things I learn from it. It's opening up an old wound though, that I was able to basically just shove away in the closet since the event wasn't actually happening anymore.

what kills me the most is that whenever people tell me the festival is happening again, I have nothing fucking good to say. People on the outside don't see all of the bullshit that was happening over the years between us, they just see the awesome free all ages family friendly music festival.

It just sucks and hurts a lot. It's exactly what I've always wanted to do, from the time I was a teenager I knew that organizing shows was my shit. I lived the dream I wanted, making free anarchist shit happen, undermining bar-centric music culture etc and it sucks to be living in a tiny fucking town where I don't feel welcome or appreciated in the one community that is doing the thing that I want to do.

I think it's time to get the fuck out of this town.


----------



## creepymcpeepers

wheresthefbomb said:


> I spent the better part of 10 years helping out with a local, free, all ages music festival. Unfortunately, internal tensions eventually one out, and a very small group of the organizers decided that the festival was not happening anymore after a very tough summer for us all in 2018.
> 
> I poured substantial portions of my life into that festival, the last year we did it I organized the lineup and was half of the kitchen organizing committee while working two full-time jobs.
> 
> without getting into the ugly details stretching out over a decade, I felt consistently undermined and under-appreciated by the time all was said and done, a fairy common experience for people not "in the club" it would turn out.
> 
> Anyway, I have been hearing rumors recently that the festival is starting up again, and to be honest I am really fucking angry, and also really fucking sad that nobody even reached out to me to see if I was interested in helping.
> 
> I probably don't actually want to be around that, those people did not respect me, and while I love the event and what it stands for, it was not a good environment for me despite all of the things I learn from it. It's opening up an old wound though, that I was able to basically just shove away in the closet since the event wasn't actually happening anymore.
> 
> what kills me the most is that whenever people tell me the festival is happening again, I have nothing fucking good to say. People on the outside don't see all of the bullshit that was happening over the years between us, they just see the awesome free all ages family friendly music festival.
> 
> It just sucks and hurts a lot. It's exactly what I've always wanted to do, from the time I was a teenager I knew that organizing shows was my shit. I lived the dream I wanted, making free anarchist shit happen, undermining bar-centric music culture etc and it sucks to be living in a tiny fucking town where I don't feel welcome or appreciated in the one community that is doing the thing that I want to do.
> 
> I think it's time to get the fuck out of this town.


You can move into my house if you want I got two extra bedrooms lol


----------



## wheresthefbomb

creepymcpeepers said:


> You can move into my house if you want I got two extra bedrooms lol



Thanks bud. I've got you in Texas, and my best friend in Oklahoma offering me beds. Now if only someone would offer me a bed in a place I actually fucking want to live.


----------



## creepymcpeepers

creepymcpeepers said:


> You can move into my house if you want I got two extra bedrooms lol


I’m probably gonna have to do some over the road to get my xp for cdl in a few months I kind of want someone to hold the fort down. I got cameras and stuff just to be safe but you know how stuff is


----------



## creepymcpeepers

wheresthefbomb said:


> Thanks bud. I've got you in Texas, and my best friend in Oklahoma offering me beds. Now if only someone would offer me a bed in a place I actually fucking want to live.


I swear


----------



## MFB

wheresthefbomb said:


> Thanks bud. I've got you in Texas, and my best friend in Oklahoma offering me beds. Now if only someone would offer me a bed in a place I actually fucking want to live.



I'd offer you MA but something tells me you'd hate it here


----------



## creepymcpeepers

wheresthefbomb said:


> Thanks bud. I've got you in Texas, and my best friend in Oklahoma offering me beds. Now if only someone would offer me a bed in a place I actually fucking want to live.


Honestly I’m getting tired of texas to. Of course people not from here if they come to visit every is polite and speaks to you. But that’s not the true texas that they are seeing. Of course the cost of living is good cause we’re one of the biggest economy’s. But they are not leniant on any of there laws, and the people are judging you always. They just one that stupid country music.. I hate country music I really hope we get the amphitheater that will make me a little happier still trying to get twelve million.. I bet someone will put the money up though with all the rich oil field money that’s here.


----------



## jaxadam

Well, the other day I got to see a guy get half his hand ripped off rolling his Razr 900 on the GP track at Durhamtown. To be continued…


----------



## thebeesknees22

jaxadam said:


> Well, the other day I got to see a guy get half his hand ripped off rolling his Razr 900 on the GP track at Durhamtown. To be continued…


did you....give him a hand after it happened?



That's pretty awful. Can't say i've seen anything quite that bad in real life.


----------



## jaxadam

thebeesknees22 said:


> did you....give him a hand after it happened?
> 
> 
> 
> That's pretty awful. Can't say i've seen anything quite that bad in real life.



Minus seeing someone get shot in the head right in front of me, this was pretty high up there.

I was ripping around on some tracks by myself (after this shit never doing that again) and this lady came frantically running up telling me her husband was in a “car accident” and pointed to the GP track. I started riding over and saw him walking up holding his arm so I didn’t think he was too bad off until I got up and saw that he basically degloved his index, pinky, and most of his hand back to his wrist. Surprisingly it wasn’t bleeding and I can’t believe he didn’t pass out. I asked him his name and who the current president was and he said Trump so I knew he was okay. I rode immediately to the lodge to get help and call 911 then went back to them. I asked them where he was staying and they told me so I rode to their cabin to inform his family/friends then went back and hung until the ambulance got there. His wife did not speak very good English and I actually think she was in more shock than him. He was pale as shit but cool as a cucumber. I debated a tourniquet but he just wasn’t losing much blood because it was blunt force trauma from the cage roll and that shit just looked like uncased chorizo turned inside out. The nearest hand surgeon was two hours so they debated a helicopter, but ended up going to general surgery an hour away because there just wasn’t much saving anything. He was with a riding team and they videoed his whole hand before the surgery then interviewed me too so I’m now a famous YouTuber.


----------



## thebeesknees22

jaxadam said:


> Minus seeing someone get shot in the head right in front of me, this was pretty high up there.
> 
> ..... I asked him his name and who the current president was and he said Trump so I knew he was okay. ....


are you sure he was ok? lol


----------



## jaxadam

thebeesknees22 said:


> are you sure he was ok? lol



Yes I’m fucking around I just asked his name, age, where he’s from, etc…

I just pulled a random YouTube vid of a Razr 900 on the track. The turn he rolled on is the one after the kicker at approx 1:30.


----------



## wheresthefbomb

Fuck that's gnarly. Glad there was help nearby and all that. Fuck ATVs man. I am terrified of those things and nobody will convince me otherwise.

I came upon a pretty bad car wreck driving through BC, my partner and I were the first ones on the scene. Lady was more or less okay, looked like she went right through the windshield, but her ankle was snapped at 90° a couple inches above the joint, bone sticking out and everything. We stayed with her til a cop showed up. Her kitty was in the car too, undamaged fortunately.

She was driving to Anchorage, AK to live with her family. I hope she made it. I also hope I never see anything like that again.


----------



## creepymcpeepers

jaxadam said:


> Yes I’m fucking around I just asked his name, age, where he’s from, etc…
> 
> I just pulled a random YouTube vid of a Razr 900 on the track. The turn he rolled on is the one after the kicker at approx 1:30.



Your in the video?


----------



## Randy

jaxadam said:


> Well, the other day I got to see a guy get half his hand ripped off rolling his Razr 900 on the GP track at Durhamtown. To be continued…



Hand injuries are ultra gross. Couple years back I played a gig and a guy in the audience (he was definitely drunk but he might've also been mentally ill or handicapped), he was kinda hardcore dancing and headbanging and throwing his fists though there wasn't really much anyone around. I got off stage and he was in the bathroom wrapping his hand in paper towels and when he took them off, it turned out he was punching the steel barricade infront of the stage over and over again, and he totalled obliterated his hand. All four knuckles on his hand were fully exposed, looked like chicken bone joints.


----------



## wheresthefbomb

Randy said:


> Hand injuries are ultra gross. Couple years back I played a gig and a guy in the audience (he was definitely drunk but he might've also been mentally ill or handicapped), he was kinda hardcore dancing and headbanging and throwing his fists though there wasn't really much anyone around. I got off stage and he was in the bathroom wrapping his hand in paper towels and when he took them off, it turned out he was punching the steel barricade infront of the stage over and over again, and he totalled obliterated his hand. All four knuckles on his hand were fully exposed, looked like chicken bone joints.



That sounds like drugs.


----------



## Randy

As far as the rollover, not a perfect solution but that's why you're supposed to have grab handles (I've used in offroading anything without a steel roof) so your hands aren't wrapped around the outside of the bar, so that it doesn't rollover onto them.


----------



## Randy

wheresthefbomb said:


> That sounds like drugs.



It's possible. I've been around my share of people on different substances, he was surprisingly lucid and also after the adrenaline had worn off in the ~5 minutes after he left the floor, he was clearly in pain and knew he was injured.


----------



## jaxadam

creepymcpeepers said:


> Your in the video?



No, that's just a random video showing the equipment, track, and turn he was on. Their riding club will probably have a video of their whole trip and the incident up on their youtube channel in a week or so.


----------



## High Plains Drifter

Randy said:


> As far as the rollover, not a perfect solution but that's why you're supposed to have grab handles (I've used in offroading anything without a steel roof) so your hands aren't wrapped around the outside of the bar, so that it doesn't rollover onto them.


We were off road ( they call it rock-crawling) at a ranch out in Llano TX some years ago and a few guys in the group decided to try to get up this insanely steep rock-face. I did the bypass cause I wasn't into that level of stupidity. But there was some guy in a Jeep with no top/ no doors, that started up it and subsequently flipped over. Jeep landed upside down and I heard him scream as the vehicle continued to slide across the granite. He continued screaming and you knew he was hurt cause usually when you go over, it's more of a "whoopsie" kind of thing if you're not hurt... or not hurt badly. 

We got to him immediately. Dude had grabbed onto the roll-cage ( factory cage/ no handles) so his hand got smashed hard. Then as it slid across the granite, it just shredded off most of his middle finger and a bit of his ring finger and pinky. It wasn't horrible compared ot some of the stuff I've seen but was still pretty gnarly. Dude lost a lot of blood.. or looked like it anyway... fuckin blood everywhere. They airlifted him out. His wife or g/f was super upset obviously. I don't think the Jeep was totaled but it was beat up pretty good and from what my buddy told me later, they sold it shortly after that trip.


----------



## creepymcpeepers

jaxadam said:


> No, that's just a random video showing the equipment, track, and turn he was on. Their riding club will probably have a video of their whole trip and the incident up on their youtube channel in a week or so.


Share it dude when it does I always watch YouTube people share i will subscribe to I have become a fiendish YouTube junkie in the almost three years of unemployment I have had


----------



## Randy

High Plains Drifter said:


> We were off road ( they call it rock-crawling) at a ranch out in Llano TX some years ago and a few guys in the group decided to try to get up this insanely steep rock-face. I did the bypass cause I wasn't into that level of stupidity. But there was some guy in a Jeep with no top/ no doors, that started up it and subsequently flipped over. Jeep landed upside down and I heard him scream as the vehicle continued to slide across the granite. He continued screaming and you knew he was hurt cause usually when you go over, it's more of a "whoopsie" kind of thing if you're not hurt... or not hurt badly.
> 
> We got to him immediately. Dude had grabbed onto the roll-cage ( factory cage/ no handles) so his hand got smashed hard. Then as it slid across the granite, it just shredded off most of his middle finger and a bit of his ring finger and pinky. It wasn't horrible compared ot some of the stuff I've seen but was still pretty gnarly. Dude lost a lot of blood.. or looked like it anyway... fuckin blood everywhere. They airlifted him out. His wife or g/f was super upset obviously. I don't think the Jeep was totaled but it was beat up pretty good and from what my buddy told me later, they sold it shortly after that trip.



Exactly that, yep. The vehicle tips even a little bit and the first reaction is to grab the roll bar.


----------



## jaxadam

creepymcpeepers said:


> Share it dude when it does I always watch YouTube people share i will subscribe to I have become a fiendish YouTube junkie in the almost three years of unemployment I have had



You'll be the first to know!


----------



## wheresthefbomb

High Plains Drifter said:


> We were off road ( they call it rock-crawling) at a ranch out in Llano TX some years ago and a few guys in the group decided to try to get up this insanely steep rock-face. I did the bypass cause I wasn't into that level of stupidity. But there was some guy in a Jeep with no top/ no doors, that started up it and subsequently flipped over. Jeep landed upside down and I heard him scream as the vehicle continued to slide across the granite. He continued screaming and you knew he was hurt cause usually when you go over, it's more of a "whoopsie" kind of thing if you're not hurt... or not hurt badly.
> 
> We got to him immediately. Dude had grabbed onto the roll-cage ( factory cage/ no handles) so his hand got smashed hard. Then as it slid across the granite, it just shredded off most of his middle finger and a bit of his ring finger and pinky. It wasn't horrible compared ot some of the stuff I've seen but was still pretty gnarly. Dude lost a lot of blood.. or looked like it anyway... fuckin blood everywhere. They airlifted him out. His wife or g/f was super upset obviously. I don't think the Jeep was totaled but it was beat up pretty good and from what my buddy told me later, they sold it shortly after that trip.


----------



## High Plains Drifter

Randy said:


> Exactly that, yep. The vehicle tips even a little bit and the first reaction is to grab the roll bar.


Yeah. I got away from the crazy stuff a long time ago and I'm not missing it. Saw plenty of people sticking hands and legs out and grabbing roll cages when they'd start to go over. Fabricated cages with welded in handles and gussets as well as 3pt/ 5pt harnesses are the way to go.


----------



## jaxadam




----------



## creepymcpeepers

jaxadam said:


>



Georgia hell yea I never been there I Wana go


----------



## creepymcpeepers

jaxadam said:


>



That’s that dirty south boy


----------



## Grindspine

My pet rat, Sir Reggie, died last night. I am devastated. He was acting normally, healthy, playful and acting like his puppy-rat self. He had a seizure or stroke and just died. It happened so fast and without any warning.

He was such a well-behaved and personable rattie that my wife could take him to the park where she works; he would interact with everyone, including children, with no problems. He had the most massive personality for being such a small mammal.


----------



## jaxadam

creepymcpeepers said:


> Georgia hell yea I never been there I Wana go



For what?


----------



## creepymcpeepers

jaxadam said:


> For what?


I guess just to see something different


----------



## creepymcpeepers

Grindspine said:


> My pet rat, Sir Reggie, died last night. I am devastated. He was acting normally, healthy, playful and acting like his puppy-rat self. He had a seizure or stroke and just died. It happened so fast and without any warning.
> 
> He was such a well-behaved and personable rattie that my wife could take him to the park where she works; he would interact with everyone, including children, with no problems. He had the most massive personality for being such a small mammal.


Dude this reminds me of a time.. I was a kid and went to my cousins house and he had a hamster that had some kind of immune problem with his immune system and there were like whatever you do don’t pet this hamster and when they walked out of the room I pet the hamster and a few hours later it was dead and they were like did you pet the hamster and this kid named Johnathan was crying dude I still laugh when I think about it but they were like did you pet the hamster and I was like no


----------



## creepymcpeepers

creepymcpeepers said:


> Dude this reminds me of a time.. I was a kid and went to my cousins house and he had a hamster that had some kind of immune problem with his immune system and there were like whatever you do don’t pet this hamster and when they walked out of the room I pet the hamster and a few hours later it was dead and they were like did you pet the hamster and this kid named Johnathan was crying dude I still laugh when I think about it but they were like did you pet the hamster and I was like no


Well I say he was my cousin but he was really my step dads sons kids so my step … I mean he wasn’t blood related… but you know some of that wierd relation we got going on down here in the south but long story short his name was Johnathan… his hamster had some kind of hamster aids… I wasn’t supposed to pet it. I thought they were just being assholes and didn’t want me to pet it. I pet it anyway, apperently they weren’t lying the hamster died quick. Real quick. Like maybe in like 3 hours. Johnathan cried cause I killed his hamster. And when they asked me I was like hell no I didn’t touch that hamster


----------



## creepymcpeepers

His dad was like Jonathan will get you another hamster and I was like well you better wash that cage out you don’t want that new hamster catching wahterver he has got lol


----------



## High Plains Drifter

@Grindspine - Really sorry, dude. It's crazy how even smaller animals can have just as much impact on us as much larger ones. I still miss my Quaker parrot that I lost like 20 yrs ago. I loved that when he was out of his cage he would attack everyone but me. And he would snuggle up under my chin or against my neck. Also the whole mimicking thing was cool... He'd say "Fidgy good boy" a lot as well.

Condolences again, man.


----------



## wheresthefbomb

Grindspine said:


> My pet rat, Sir Reggie, died last night. I am devastated. He was acting normally, healthy, playful and acting like his puppy-rat self. He had a seizure or stroke and just died. It happened so fast and without any warning.
> 
> He was such a well-behaved and personable rattie that my wife could take him to the park where she works; he would interact with everyone, including children, with no problems. He had the most massive personality for being such a small mammal.



Lil buddy  I'm really sorry to hear that, man. I nearly lost my kittycat this year and it was a difficult time to say the least. It sounds like he had a pretty damn good life for a little rat.


----------



## creepymcpeepers

Grindspine said:


> My pet rat, Sir Reggie, died last night. I am devastated. He was acting normally, healthy, playful and acting like his puppy-rat self. He had a seizure or stroke and just died. It happened so fast and without any warning.
> 
> He was such a well-behaved and personable rattie that my wife could take him to the park where she works; he would interact with everyone, including children, with no problems. He had the most massive personality for being such a small mammal.


Hey my dog was from Indiana before we got her


----------



## Grindspine

High Plains Drifter said:


> @Grindspine - Really sorry, dude. It's crazy how even smaller animals can have just as much impact on us as much larger ones. I still miss my Quaker parrot that I lost like 20 yrs ago. I loved that when he was out of his cage he would attack everyone but me. And he would snuggle up under my chin or against my neck. Also the whole mimicking thing was cool... He'd say "Fidgy good boy" a lot as well.
> 
> Condolences again, man.



Thank you.

That reminds me that my parents lost their Brazilian Blue & Gold macaw last year. I think that bird was like 27 years old, or so. She would attack everyone but my dad--she was a very jealous bird.


----------



## High Plains Drifter

Grindspine said:


> Thank you.
> 
> That reminds me that my parents lost their Brazilian Blue & Gold macaw last year. I think that bird was like 27 years old, or so. She would attack everyone but my dad--she was a very jealous bird.


Man those are so gorgeous. I was always in awe of the larger ones... Scarlet-Greys, Cockatoos, Hyacinths, etc. But yeah, my little guy really brought a lot of life to my apartment at a time when I was living alone. I don't think that he even attacked people because he felt threatened. I think it was more of a showoff for daddy kinda thing. I'd start laughing and he'd fly back to me where I'd love on him.. like validating his behavior lol.


----------



## nightflameauto

Olivia Newton John died.

Young me spent a LOT of time immersed in her music and movies. I may shed actual tears over this one, and most celebrity death is just a momentary emotive state these days.


----------



## bostjan

Grindspine said:


> My pet rat, Sir Reggie, died last night. I am devastated. He was acting normally, healthy, playful and acting like his puppy-rat self. He had a seizure or stroke and just died. It happened so fast and without any warning.
> 
> He was such a well-behaved and personable rattie that my wife could take him to the park where she works; he would interact with everyone, including children, with no problems. He had the most massive personality for being such a small mammal.


Years ago, my wife took home a pet rat someone was giving away. At first, I was scared of it. I grew up in Detroit and had seen plenty of rats that I definitely didn't want to ever get any closer to. But once I saw this little rat cleaning her own cage, pooping and peeing in a little tray in the corner, actually playing with people, etc., I fell in love. I spent the next year-and-a-half perplexed by why rats were _not_ the most popular pets in the world. Soooo much personality, and so smart. We ended up with five rats, and they all had their own personalities and their own temperaments. None of them ever acted the least bit aggressive toward any human, let alone bite. But then I found out the problem, and it's why we never got more rats... the issue of life expectancy.


----------



## creepymcpeepers

bostjan said:


> Years ago, my wife took home a pet rat someone was giving away. At first, I was scared of it. I grew up in Detroit and had seen plenty of rats that I definitely didn't want to ever get any closer to. But once I saw this little rat cleaning her own cage, pooping and peeing in a little tray in the corner, actually playing with people, etc., I fell in love. I spent the next year-and-a-half perplexed by why rats were _not_ the most popular pets in the world. Soooo much personality, and so smart. We ended up with five rats, and they all had their own personalities and their own temperaments. None of them ever acted the least bit aggressive toward any human, let alone bite. But then I found out the problem, and it's why we never got more rats... the issue of life expectancy.


I also another friend that had a rat for a long time and when he said his ray died I texted him in death his name is Robert Paulson


----------



## Grindspine

bostjan said:


> Years ago, my wife took home a pet rat someone was giving away. At first, I was scared of it. I grew up in Detroit and had seen plenty of rats that I definitely didn't want to ever get any closer to. But once I saw this little rat cleaning her own cage, pooping and peeing in a little tray in the corner, actually playing with people, etc., I fell in love. I spent the next year-and-a-half perplexed by why rats were _not_ the most popular pets in the world. Soooo much personality, and so smart. We ended up with five rats, and they all had their own personalities and their own temperaments. None of them ever acted the least bit aggressive toward any human, let alone bite. But then I found out the problem, and it's why we never got more rats... the issue of life expectancy.


Yeah, my wife has had pet rats for most of her life. We have fostered a few dozen over the last decade. I think the oldest didn't quite make it to three years old. I have learned a lot about health and diet though. The ratties we had years ago tended to get more tumors. Once we really started restricting their diets, tumors became far more infrequent.

Reggie, the one that just passed, was a complete surprise. He was just over a year old, healthy, active, playful. He was just sitting next to me, cleaning himself, then had a seizure. He also had a massive personality. It'll be quiet without him running around my feet.


----------



## cowboystring

Anxiety. I always think there is something wrong


----------



## youngthrasher9

My pointer mix Talia got bit by a rattlesnake for the 3rd time this year and 4th by a venomous snake (water moccasin first time). 

Looks like it was a baby from the gap in the puncture wounds and she’s swelling massively. Did the redneck remedy, we’re hoping that she makes it through the night. She’s sleeping in our room tonight.


----------



## creepymcpeepers

cowboystring said:


> Anxiety. I always think there is something wrong


Dude I have this same problem man… stay away from the benzos though man… that’s what they will try to prescribe you and man… excercise helped me a little bit that’s what they told me in another thread… my advice dude is to always go for the natural method pharmaceuticals are not your friend unless it’s absolutely necessary. Element eighty wanted me to wear a bear suit and before I got my arm band to go on stage I passed out dude and I was pale and I was sweating and everyone thought I was having a heart attack… and all it really was was that I didn’t know what was on the other side of that dooor. It’s a real thing dude… and people that don’t have it they don’t understand it. Don’t let no one treat you like your less.. you matter man


----------



## youngthrasher9

youngthrasher9 said:


> My pointer mix Talia got bit by a rattlesnake for the 3rd time this year and 4th by a venomous snake (water moccasin first time).
> 
> Looks like it was a baby from the gap in the puncture wounds and she’s swelling massively. Did the redneck remedy, we’re hoping that she makes it through the night. She’s sleeping in our room tonight.


Update: Talia is tough as fuck and she pulled through the night. The swelling plateau’d and she’s feeling noticeably better. She’ll likely take a few days to kick all the swelling and then she’ll be back to normal for the most part. She’ll get some anti-biotics and with any luck won’t have flesh rot.


----------



## Furtive Glance

Hybrid FWP and Sad post: guitar I wanted got sold before I cleared enough funds on my stupid low-ass limit US credit card. No BDAY guitar for me.


----------



## creepymcpeepers

youngthrasher9 said:


> Update: Talia is tough as fuck and she pulled through the night. The swelling plateau’d and she’s feeling noticeably better. She’ll likely take a few days to kick all the swelling and then she’ll be back to normal for the most part. She’ll get some anti-biotics and with any luck won’t have flesh rot.


Dogs ussually survive snake bites. They do better than humans dealing with venom is what I have heard


----------



## youngthrasher9

creepymcpeepers said:


> Dogs ussually survive snake bites. They do better than humans dealing with venom is what I have heard


4 in a year seems like she’s pushing her luck though


----------



## creepymcpeepers

youngthrasher9 said:


> 4 in a year seems like she’s pushing her luck though


I’m glad she is ok


----------



## thebeesknees22

Judging from the weather forecast for the next 2 weeks, today is the last day of summery weather. So sad....

Goodbye summertime... Goodbye.... *sniffles


----------



## kentheterrible

Emperor Guillotine said:


> So, I am required to take and pass a 200 level language course. I chose to study Spanish in high school, so of course I picked to continue Spanish in college. I took the online placement test and passed into the 200 level. (So no 100 level for me! Hooray, one less class, means I can save money and time!) However, the instructor of my SPN-201 course (which starts tomorrow) emailed the class an extensive 15-page list of terms that we need to know and said we will be talking in Spanish every day in class.....and I know like.....a small handful of the terms. I am f***ed. I AM F***ED. Pissing money away or drop.


People pay big money for immersions classes. Get stuck in, you'll be fine. No shame in dropping if you can't hang but don't sell yourself short.


----------



## Emperor Guillotine

kentheterrible said:


> People pay big money for immersions classes. Get stuck in, you'll be fine. No shame in dropping if you can't hang but don't sell yourself short.


Mate…this was nearly eight full years ago.

What the actual fuck.


----------



## kentheterrible

Emperor Guillotine said:


> Mate…this was nearly eight full years ago.
> 
> What the actual fuck.


Mistake. Realized it after the fact.


----------



## BlackMastodon

Emperor Guillotine said:


> Mate…this was nearly eight full years ago.
> 
> What the actual fuck.


Well, how'd it go?!


----------



## jaxadam

BlackMastodon said:


> Well, how'd it go?!



!Muy bien!


----------



## Emperor Guillotine

BlackMastodon said:


> Well, how'd it go?!


¡No puedo recordar! ¡Ya estoy viejo!


----------



## Furtive Glance

My birthday present got porch-pirated... or put in someone else's mailbox a week ago. RIP.


----------



## creepymcpeepers

Furtive Glance said:


> My birthday present got porch-pirated... or put in someone else's mailbox a week ago. RIP.


You should get arlo


----------



## Emperor Guillotine

Back in June, I was harassed and assaulted in the workplace by the person above me in my department, I was unfairly terminated on false grounds by the same individual almost immediately afterwards because I defended myself, and I have been subsequently blacklisted from the industry that I have been working in by this same individual and their little bullshit sock-puppet cronies, which now has left me absolutely no choice but to find a new career path all of a sudden with no clue on what to do or where to go.

There is no further opportunity in the deadbeat town where I live. Coming here was a mistake. A complete and utter mistake. So I’ll have to relocate. But where I relocate to next depends entirely on what I decide to do for a career next. And I’ve just got no fucking clue. Literally zero.

How does a person start from the very beginning all over again? Because I obviously didn’t think things would ever pan out like this.

I’m still dealing with the fallout from this; and it still leaves me feeling horribly depressed, hopeless, anxiety-ridden, and sleepless on many nights such as tonight. (It’s nearly 1AM as I type this.) I’ve also been plagued by suicidal thoughts nonstop lately and contemplating them very often (on an almost daily basis) as a result of all of this.


----------



## BlackMastodon

Emperor Guillotine said:


> Back in June, I was harassed and assaulted in the workplace by the person above me in my department, I was unfairly terminated on false grounds by the same individual almost immediately afterwards because I defended myself, and I have been subsequently blacklisted from the industry that I have been working in by this same individual and their little bullshit sock-puppet cronies, which now has left me absolutely no choice but to find a new career path all of a sudden with no clue on what to do or where to go.
> 
> There is no further opportunity in the deadbeat town where I live. Coming here was a mistake. A complete and utter mistake. So I’ll have to relocate. But where I relocate to next depends entirely on what I decide to do for a career next. And I’ve just got no fucking clue. Literally zero.
> 
> How does a person start from the very beginning all over again? Because I obviously didn’t think things would ever pan out like this.
> 
> I’m still dealing with the fallout from this; and it still leaves me feeling horribly depressed, hopeless, anxiety-ridden, and sleepless on many nights such as tonight. (It’s nearly 1AM as I type this.) I’ve also been plagued by suicidal thoughts nonstop lately and contemplating them very often (on an almost daily basis) as a result of all of this.


I can't imagine how hard what you're going through is, but please call someone about the suicidal ideations, whether it's a therapist, close friend, or family member. Reach out to your friends and family for help, maybe one of them can help you get a temporary job while you figure things out. 

I know it's cliché to say, but this could be viewed as an opportunity to get into a career path that you didn't think you could since you'd invested time and money to get into the previous industry.

Start putting things down on paper. If you just let it swirl around in your head it can be overwhelming, but if you start listing different careers that interest you and new places to live along with pros and cons you can organize your thoughts better and feel like you made a small step forward. Start researching different careers and things that would interest you and even careers that are related to that. 

My partner went back to school exactly 2 years ago after we'd been talking about it for years and I kept telling her that I fully support her when she feels like she's ready. She first started going for language courses thinking she'd want to teach, which lead her to change schools to work on a degree to be a Speech Language Pathologist, which lead her now to strongly consider a career in audiology. 

My point is, you don't have to decide on the career that you'll be in for the rest of your life right this second. These things change along with your interests, and in many cases you may not even know about the career that interests you the most. 

Hang in there, man, we're rooting for you.


----------



## nightflameauto

Emperor Guillotine said:


> Back in June, I was harassed and assaulted in the workplace by the person above me in my department, I was unfairly terminated on false grounds by the same individual almost immediately afterwards because I defended myself, and I have been subsequently blacklisted from the industry that I have been working in by this same individual and their little bullshit sock-puppet cronies, which now has left me absolutely no choice but to find a new career path all of a sudden with no clue on what to do or where to go.
> 
> There is no further opportunity in the deadbeat town where I live. Coming here was a mistake. A complete and utter mistake. So I’ll have to relocate. But where I relocate to next depends entirely on what I decide to do for a career next. And I’ve just got no fucking clue. Literally zero.
> 
> How does a person start from the very beginning all over again? Because I obviously didn’t think things would ever pan out like this.
> 
> I’m still dealing with the fallout from this; and it still leaves me feeling horribly depressed, hopeless, anxiety-ridden, and sleepless on many nights such as tonight. (It’s nearly 1AM as I type this.) I’ve also been plagued by suicidal thoughts nonstop lately and contemplating them very often (on an almost daily basis) as a result of all of this.


I'm so sorry, man. That whole situation sucks ass.

The one thing I will say is, and I feel I'm justified in saying it as I've gone through the suicidal thoughts sitch a few times in life, don't. As dark as things seem, and I totally get why, there's always reason to hope. Find someone to talk with, as stated above, and find a way to remind yourself of things you enjoy. Be self-indulgent for a moment if you have to.

Then buckle down and figure out your next direction.

Best of luck, man. We're rooting for you.

May your tormentor be plagued with torments beyond any we can imagine. Power trippin' douchebag.


----------



## creepymcpeepers

Emperor Guillotine said:


> Back in June, I was harassed and assaulted in the workplace by the person above me in my department, I was unfairly terminated on false grounds by the same individual almost immediately afterwards because I defended myself, and I have been subsequently blacklisted from the industry that I have been working in by this same individual and their little bullshit sock-puppet cronies, which now has left me absolutely no choice but to find a new career path all of a sudden with no clue on what to do or where to go.
> 
> There is no further opportunity in the deadbeat town where I live. Coming here was a mistake. A complete and utter mistake. So I’ll have to relocate. But where I relocate to next depends entirely on what I decide to do for a career next. And I’ve just got no fucking clue. Literally zero.
> 
> How does a person start from the very beginning all over again? Because I obviously didn’t think things would ever pan out like this.
> 
> I’m still dealing with the fallout from this; and it still leaves me feeling horribly depressed, hopeless, anxiety-ridden, and sleepless on many nights such as tonight. (It’s nearly 1AM as I type this.) I’ve also been plagued by suicidal thoughts nonstop lately and contemplating them very often (on an almost daily basis) as a result of all of this.


Fuck them I have restarted a lot of times, it always feels like how the fuck did I get here but through the Barron wasteland I make my way through I always find my self in a better place


----------



## creepymcpeepers

BlackMastodon said:


> I can't imagine how hard what you're going through is, but please call someone about the suicidal ideations, whether it's a therapist, close friend, or family member. Reach out to your friends and family for help, maybe one of them can help you get a temporary job while you figure things out.
> 
> I know it's cliché to say, but this could be viewed as an opportunity to get into a career path that you didn't think you could since you'd invested time and money to get into the previous industry.
> 
> Start putting things down on paper. If you just let it swirl around in your head it can be overwhelming, but if you start listing different careers that interest you and new places to live along with pros and cons you can organize your thoughts better and feel like you made a small step forward. Start researching different careers and things that would interest you and even careers that are related to that.
> 
> My partner went back to school exactly 2 years ago after we'd been talking about it for years and I kept telling her that I fully support her when she feels like she's ready. She first started going for language courses thinking she'd want to teach, which lead her to change schools to work on a degree to be a Speech Language Pathologist, which lead her now to strongly consider a career in audiology.
> 
> My point is, you don't have to decide on the career that you'll be in for the rest of your life right this second. These things change along with your interests, and in many cases you may not even know about the career that interests you the most.
> 
> Hang in there, man, we're rooting for you.





Emperor Guillotine said:


> Back in June, I was harassed and assaulted in the workplace by the person above me in my department, I was unfairly terminated on false grounds by the same individual almost immediately afterwards because I defended myself, and I have been subsequently blacklisted from the industry that I have been working in by this same individual and their little bullshit sock-puppet cronies, which now has left me absolutely no choice but to find a new career path all of a sudden with no clue on what to do or where to go.
> 
> There is no further opportunity in the deadbeat town where I live. Coming here was a mistake. A complete and utter mistake. So I’ll have to relocate. But where I relocate to next depends entirely on what I decide to do for a career next. And I’ve just got no fucking clue. Literally zero.
> 
> How does a person start from the very beginning all over again? Because I obviously didn’t think things would ever pan out like this.
> 
> I’m still dealing with the fallout from this; and it still leaves me feeling horribly depressed, hopeless, anxiety-ridden, and sleepless on many nights such as tonight. (It’s nearly 1AM as I type this.) I’ve also been plagued by suicidal thoughts nonstop lately and contemplating them very often (on an almost daily basis) as a result of all of this.


Don’t kill yourself dude


----------



## wheresthefbomb

My dear friend is in an abusive relationship and mostly deluding herself about it. She texted me saying she was being manipulated and emotionally abused the other day and today it's the same old self-blame routine in response to my message of support and encouragement. She's also got some complex mental health issues that I don't begin to understand.

It's not the first shitty relationship I've watched her talk herself back into over and over until shit gets too bad even for her to ignore. It's also not even the first red flag in this relationship, and the ones I've seen are presumably also a drop in the ocean of what's really going down.

I love her dearly but it's hard to watch her do the same thing over and over. I can tell she's not in a good place because our regular phone conversations have been strained, but there's nothing I can do. I don't even know how to support her at this point, I don't want to validate the crap she's saying about working on herself to make the abuse stop, and I don't want to cause an argument which taking any kind of stand at this point certainly would.

Part of me feels like I'm a shitty friend if I don't stick to the truth. The other part of me knows that would drive a wedge between us at a time when she needs love and support. But then again, I feel strongly that not-rocking-the-boat out of comfort or convenience is almost always the wrong choice.

Ultimately I don't think it will matter to the situation either way so I'm probably just fretting over what will make _me_ feel the best about _my _actions.


----------



## creepymcpeepers

Well my dog Sweety turned 18 the other day.
With my mom
Being retired and my schedule being kind of wierd she stays with my mom most of the time.
It has been four weeks since I seen her last. When I seen her today she has lost so much weight. I was always scared of when I would have to put her down thinking what if she secretly still had life left. Well as I’m sitting her watching her feeling all of her bones, watching her not even be able to stand up or sit down cause her back legs are so old, and watch her refuse to eat day in and day out, I am sad but I am also happy. I am happy because she is telling me that is time without me having any doubt in my my mind that there is any life left in her.
I’m sad because she is the bestest dog in the whole world.
A breed chihuahua that gets the bad name of barking to much and being little mean dogs.
This dog never barks, she’s nice to everyone.
Well after feeling how frail she has become and watching her little doggy tears run down her face and see her use the little bit of strength she has jsut to wag her tail when I pet her.. I know it’s time.
Life is only hurting her at this point. That’s all I needed to know for sure it was time. She’s telling me now.


----------



## creepymcpeepers

creepymcpeepers said:


> Well my dog Sweety turned 18 the other day.
> With my mom
> Being retired and my schedule being kind of wierd she stays with my mom most of the time.
> It has been four weeks since I seen her last. When I seen her today she has lost so much weight. I was always scared of when I would have to put her down thinking what if she secretly still had life left. Well as I’m sitting her watching her feeling all of her bones, watching her not even be able to stand up or sit down cause her back legs are so old, and watch her refuse to eat day in and day out, I am sad but I am also happy. I am happy because she is telling me that is time without me having any doubt in my my mind that there is any life left in her.
> I’m sad because she is the bestest dog in the whole world.
> A breed chihuahua that gets the bad name of barking to much and being little mean dogs.
> This dog never barks, she’s nice to everyone.
> Well after feeling how frail she has become and watching her little doggy tears run down her face and see her use the little bit of strength she has jsut to wag her tail when I pet her.. I know it’s time.
> Life is only hurting her at this point. That’s all I needed to know for sure it was time. She’s telling me now.


I fed her some of ice cream stash today


----------



## highstringer

I don't know... sometimes I just feel down


----------



## BlackMastodon

Paging @Emperor Guillotine: realized the other day that I haven't seen you post for a while but I see you logged in recently. Hope all is well.


----------



## Ribboz

My relationships are 1000 times better when I never express my inner emotions. That makes me sad.


----------



## wheresthefbomb

Ribboz said:


> My relationships are 1000 times better when I never express my inner emotions. That makes me sad.



That's _not _a good (read: healthy) relationship, my dude.


----------



## Ribboz

wheresthefbomb said:


> That's _not _a good (read: healthy) relationship, my dude.


It's my own fault. But it's a lot better now. Still makes me sad when it's a tough time. My burdens are my own problem. No one else's.


----------



## TedEH

Ribboz said:


> My burdens are my own problem. No one else's.


To a point. There's a distinction to be made between letting people help you and placing your burden on others.


----------



## Ribboz

TedEH said:


> To a point. There's a distinction to be made between letting people help you and placing your burden on others.


Generally speaking you're correct. But that's not been my experience. 

I shouldn't have even brought this all up. Haha


----------



## Isaiah04

Dealing with a breakup at the moment along with other personal issues, it hurts and stings a bit but I have to stay strong and push through.


----------



## CanserDYI

Ribboz said:


> I shouldn't have even brought this all up. Haha


You're doing it right there, lol.


----------



## Emperor Guillotine

I haven’t made a NGD thread on this forum since 2014. I just don’t share much about my gear.

I made my first NGD thread in eight years, and members of this group began dogpiling on me to the point that a mod stepped in and completely removed the thread based on his own decision.

Yeah…no more NGD threads from me anymore. In fact, I think I’m done with this forum.


----------



## mastapimp

Emperor Guillotine said:


> I haven’t made a NGD thread on this forum since 2014. I just don’t share much about my gear.
> 
> I made my first NGD thread in eight years, and members of this group began dogpiling on me to the point that a mod stepped in and completely removed the thread based on his own decision.
> 
> Yeah…no more NGD threads from me anymore. In fact, I think I’m done with this forum.


I saw the thread and some of the dog piling, but it was less of a NGD post and more of a hit piece on the guy that sold you the gear. Could have just put in "didn't arrive as advertised" and left it at that. Was a cool guitar and I missed the exact reasons why it got nuked, but the wall of screenshots and emails is taking the focus off of the gear and onto a business deal gone bad.


----------



## KnightBrolaire

Kim Jung Gi is dead. Dude was one of the most talented and prolific ink artists in the last 10+ years. He was not only technically good but also super creative with his compositions and creations.


----------



## CanserDYI

KnightBrolaire said:


> Kim Jung Gi is dead. Dude was one of the most talented and prolific ink artists in the last 10+ years. He was not only technically good but also super creative with his compositions and creations.


Damn, RIP. Very talented artist.


----------



## CanserDYI

I let one of my best friends kill himself today. We'd all seen the signs, we'd all seen him asking for help and attention. He became extremely toxic and difficult to be around so most of us unfortunately ghosted him because that was easier than saying good bye. He posted on social media last week that he'd pay someone to hang out with him, but if youd see the comments underneath back from him when people try to meet up, you wouldn't want to see him either. He became nasty and a know it all, and an incel. Started blaming things on women. 

He ended it today and I could have hung out with him one last time at least. But I didn't. 


Hug your friends and stick with them, maybe if I did that for him he'd still be here and his parents wouldn't have lost an extremely talented son. 

Rest in Peace Jackson. I'm really sorry this is how I'm saying goodbye to you man. Walk on home, boy.


----------



## jaxadam

CanserDYI said:


> I let one of my best friends kill himself today. We'd all seen the signs, we'd all seen him asking for help and attention. He became extremely toxic and difficult to be around so most of us unfortunately ghosted him because that was easier than saying good bye. He posted on social media last week that he'd pay someone to hang out with him, but if youd see the comments underneath back from him when people try to meet up, you wouldn't want to see him either. He became nasty and a know it all, and an incel. Started blaming things on women.
> 
> He ended it today and I could have hung out with him one last time at least. But I didn't.
> 
> 
> Hug your friends and stick with them, maybe if I did that for him he'd still be here and his parents wouldn't have lost an extremely talented son.
> 
> Rest in Peace Jackson. I'm really sorry this is how I'm saying goodbye to you man. Walk on home, boy.



I’m terribly sorry to hear that man. I just passed a one year anniversary of a friend taking their own life as well. Same thing: lots of signs, and they just had a really hard time with life, but I never predicted a permanent choice. I mean I just couldn’t even fucking believe it for weeks, so don’t be surprised if you linger on this one for a while. Again, I’m sorry to hear.


----------



## MFB

CanserDYI said:


> I let one of my best friends kill himself today. We'd all seen the signs, we'd all seen him asking for help and attention. He became extremely toxic and difficult to be around so most of us unfortunately ghosted him because that was easier than saying good bye. He posted on social media last week that he'd pay someone to hang out with him, but if youd see the comments underneath back from him when people try to meet up, you wouldn't want to see him either. He became nasty and a know it all, and an incel. Started blaming things on women.
> 
> He ended it today and I could have hung out with him one last time at least. But I didn't.
> 
> Hug your friends and stick with them, maybe if I did that for him he'd still be here and his parents wouldn't have lost an extremely talented son.
> 
> Rest in Peace Jackson. I'm really sorry this is how I'm saying goodbye to you man. Walk on home, boy.



I mean, I'm sure I'd be looking at it the same way if it was me in that position, but the reality is you can't save anyone who doesn't want to be saved. You guys tried and tried it sounds like, and not just one person but different people so it's obvious that there's a circle that did care, but if he couldn't see it and continued down that path, there's nothing you can do. Like you said, at a certain point they make it hard to be around, and I think it's them trying to cut the ties for themselves so they can do what they want without more hesitation.

I fully accept any "fuck you's" I receive from anyone who's gone through the same thing, those are just my thoughts on it


----------



## TedEH

That's always brutal. Condolences.


----------



## nightflameauto

CanserDYI said:


> I let one of my best friends kill himself today. We'd all seen the signs, we'd all seen him asking for help and attention. He became extremely toxic and difficult to be around so most of us unfortunately ghosted him because that was easier than saying good bye. He posted on social media last week that he'd pay someone to hang out with him, but if youd see the comments underneath back from him when people try to meet up, you wouldn't want to see him either. He became nasty and a know it all, and an incel. Started blaming things on women.
> 
> He ended it today and I could have hung out with him one last time at least. But I didn't.
> 
> 
> Hug your friends and stick with them, maybe if I did that for him he'd still be here and his parents wouldn't have lost an extremely talented son.
> 
> Rest in Peace Jackson. I'm really sorry this is how I'm saying goodbye to you man. Walk on home, boy.


As much as it sucks, and I've known the guilt that comes from watching it happen, there are lines we can't seem to cross for those we care about. Sometimes people devolve to the point we can't reach them any longer. It sucks, but going down with them isn't a good choice either.

So sorry, man.


----------



## CanserDYI

6 days ago the dude posts two songs on a new Facebook that I didn't even know about, and both of them are essentially him saying good bye and that we'll all miss him when he's gone. There were just so many signs it's ridiculous. I've never been hit with such an obvious brick heading at me without me doing fucking ANYTHING.

Listening to all the songs I didn't listen to from him these past couple years and my god he was so fucking sad I don't know how I just let this happen. Show your love to your friends, hug them show them you are thinking about them. 

God this fucking sucks. I spent the last couple years pushing you away and now all I want is you to jump on your drum set and play old punk songs with me until the sun goes down. I'm so sorry for leaving you to rot in this city alone.


----------



## CanserDYI

Can someone answer me a semi ethics question, is it wrong/morbid/inappropriate for me to want to know how he died? All I know is that he ended it himself but I don't know the method and I feel awful wanting to know because it's so trivial and doesn't matter, but I just feel like I want to know for some sort of closure, or I guess it is morbid curiosity but my friend and I both thought the same thing, that he'd want us to know and if one of us did it, he'd ask and say " what? well you know we're all thinking it!"

I feel so awful questioning it but I feel like I really want to know.


----------



## TedEH

I don't think it's wrong to have all kinds of questions - it's just maybe not appropriate to pursue it.


----------



## thebeesknees22

CanserDYI said:


> Can someone answer me a semi ethics question, is it wrong/morbid/inappropriate for me to want to know how he died? All I know is that he ended it himself but I don't know the method and I feel awful wanting to know because it's so trivial and doesn't matter, but I just feel like I want to know for some sort of closure, or I guess it is morbid curiosity but my friend and I both thought the same thing, that he'd want us to know and if one of us did it, he'd ask and say " what? well you know we're all thinking it!"
> 
> I feel so awful questioning it but I feel like I really want to know.


I think that's a natural reaction. We as human beings are curious by nature. If there are details to know, we general want to know them.


----------



## CanserDYI

They're burying him today and I suppose if I find out I find out, but I don't think I have the heart or guts or balls to ask.


----------



## Demiurge

I'm sorry about the loss of your friend. I concur that it's natural wanting to know the details, but it might not be healthy getting enough information that might inadvertently put a picture in your head of the 'act', if that makes sense.


----------



## wheresthefbomb

My condolences @CanserDYI that is awful man. 

I found out a few months ago that a friend who I hadn't gotten around to forgiving took his own life late last year. my (ex)wife cheated on me with him a few years back, it wasn't his fault, she led him to believe she wasn't cheating otherwise I know he wouldn't have. 

I never talked to him about it, I couldn't deal and just stopped hanging out with/being friendly toward him. I feel awful that he died thinking I hated him and never really knew why. He was on the downward spiral, obviously wanted to be closer with me, and I ghosted him. I did what I had to for my own sake but I damn sure wish I'd tried harder, or something. There's no comfort to be had in cases like this.


----------



## AMOS

CanserDYI said:


> Can someone answer me a semi ethics question, is it wrong/morbid/inappropriate for me to want to know how he died? All I know is that he ended it himself but I don't know the method and I feel awful wanting to know because it's so trivial and doesn't matter, but I just feel like I want to know for some sort of closure, or I guess it is morbid curiosity but my friend and I both thought the same thing, that he'd want us to know and if one of us did it, he'd ask and say " what? well you know we're all thinking it!"
> 
> I feel so awful questioning it but I feel like I really want to know.


A guitarist friend killed himself 2 years ago and I still don't know how he did it. I don't want to.


----------



## CanserDYI

They cremated him before the funeral. I was the only person who spoke. Every single one of our friends showed up and no one could say a word. The damn pastor made the entire fucking thing about God and that nonsense when I know my buddy would be turning in his grave listening to it.

They asked me what song to play, I told them "Random Rules" by the Silver Jews. They played some song about loving Christ instead.

I spoke about his love for music, and the fact that it was him waking me up every hungover afternoon for band practice and never let me sleep through it. He lived so intensely and had such a huge set of questions that no one could answer for him.


----------



## jaxadam

CanserDYI said:


> He lived so intensely and had such a huge set of questions that no one could answer for him.



That is a damn good way of putting something. I know a few people like that.


----------



## CanserDYI

A permanent solution for a temporary problem.


----------



## TedEH

CanserDYI said:


> They asked me what song to play, I told them "Random Rules" by the Silver Jews. They played some song about loving Christ instead.


If this happens to me, I'm coming back from the dead to haunt whoever did it.


----------



## BlackMastodon

If any religious figure is at my funeral everybody involved is getting haunted. And it won't be a cute "must've been the wind" haunting, either.

My sincere condolences, @CanserDYI. It's only natural to have questions and want to know, but it isn't necessarily going to help you cope, and will only lead to more questions that can't be answered.


----------



## Kaura

Went to a guitar shop today and got myself a birthday present...















A Fender-logo t-shirt because that's all I could afford.


----------



## nightflameauto

TedEH said:


> If this happens to me, I'm coming back from the dead to haunt whoever did it.


They say it's easy for spirits to haunt electronics. I'd be crackling that stereo/PA equipment into incoherence.


----------



## BlackMastodon

It's been so long since I've played guitar or written anything that I'm legitimately afraid that I don't remember how to anymore. I used spend hours/day in high school and university with a guitar in my lap and Guitar Pro open just writing riffs and arranging songs but I haven't written anything down since... 2015? Fuck...


----------



## thebeesknees22

BlackMastodon said:


> It's been so long since I've played guitar or written anything that I'm legitimately afraid that I don't remember how to anymore. I used spend hours/day in high school and university with a guitar in my lap and Guitar Pro open just writing riffs and arranging songs but I haven't written anything down since... 2015? Fuck...


get on that dude! We need more stuff in the demo thread lol

...actually I need to do the same. I've just been too tired after jumping onto that last 911 project.


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## p0ke

thebeesknees22 said:


> get on that dude! We need more stuff in the demo thread lol
> 
> ...actually I need to do the same. I've just been too tired after jumping onto that last 911 project.



Me too. I've got a bunch of ideas and in theory I have the time to turn those into songs, but every time I sit down with the guitar one of the kids bursts in and boom, all inspiration gone (if there even was any to begin with).


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## CanserDYI

p0ke said:


> Me too. I've got a bunch of ideas and in theory I have the time to turn those into songs, but every time I sit down with the guitar one of the kids bursts in and boom, all inspiration gone (if there even was any to begin with).


I'll be straight up in the middle of recording a long section and my kid just runs in screaming until I stop playing and says some stupid shit like "Grandma told me last week that she doesn't like lima beans".

I can't wait for a vasectomy.


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## nightflameauto

CanserDYI said:


> I'll be straight up in the middle of recording a long section and my kid just runs in screaming until I stop playing and says some stupid shit like "Grandma told me last week that she doesn't like lima beans".
> 
> I can't wait for a vasectomy.


My wife has a sixth sense for when I'm recording a difficult bit that's taken me ages to perfect. Finally getting the perfect take? About 3/4ths or more through she'll pop in the office and start asking questions. And it's never earth shattering shit. That I wouldn't mind. But it'll be, "What'd you feel like for dinner tomorrow?"

Or even better, start yelling from the couch and wondering why I'm not responding when the recording room is rocking the fuck out and I've got on the tracking phones.


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## dr_game0ver

I know i am late to the game but... Dave Mustaine should have hired a singer a long ass time ago.


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## KnightBrolaire

Kevin Conroy died. 








Kevin Conroy, voice of animated Batman, dies at 66


Kevin Conroy, the voice of Batman in 'Batman: The Animated Series,' has died at 66.




ew.com


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## BlackMastodon

Every time I have a day off I feel like I piss it away doing nothing.


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## Furtive Glance

Oof.


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## CanserDYI

Furtive Glance said:


> Oof.
> View attachment 117543
> 
> View attachment 117544


Hopefully not from a drop!?


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## MaxOfMetal

Furtive Glance said:


> Oof.
> View attachment 117543
> 
> View attachment 117544



It's more than likely just fine. Finish cracks like that are pretty common, and 99% of the time the actual neck joint is perfectly intact.


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## Furtive Glance

Yeah, it’s been cracked for a long time. I’m not concerned, really. Just looks painful. It turns 20 next year!


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## BusinessMan

First time in my life I have to work through the final holidays of the year. I work out of state, so I'm 700+ miles from home. Coworkers all went out to eat tonight for Xmas eve and didn't invite me (found out they went by accident). Haven't heard from any of my friends despite me reaching out as always and my wife has barely spoken to me tonight. 



Trying to have thay Xmas cheer.


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## thebeesknees22

I forgot everything, including grocery stores, would be closed today in MTL. ...No Sunday morning breakfast goodies for me this time.


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## zappatton2

Well that sucks, one of my favorite rappers has passed. But I'm not gonna lie, I'm genuinely freaked out to find that an artist I've listened to since the 90's was somehow still younger than me! RIP Gangsta Boo






https://www.huffpost.com/entry/gangsta-boo-lola-mitchell-dead_n_63b21638e4b0d6724fbdb335?d_id=5328149&ref=bffbhuffpost&ncid_tag=fcbklnkushpmg00000063&utm_medium=Social&utm_source=Facebook&utm_campaign=us_main&fbclid=IwAR2n2SqQvKZIIggGGNLP6eITcbk0mlKwjOITNYDOtTMNQ1IbDB6XIMvDZus


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## Kaura

I was supposed to see Joe Hisaishi live back in 2020/2021 (can't remember, lol). I even had a ticket but the concert was cancelled because of all the corona bullshit. Today I woke up and found out he had just played two nights in row here on Friday/Saturday. 20 years I waited and I missed it. I really want to fucking hang myself now. How the hell I managed to miss any information about the replacement gigs???


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## AwakenTheSkies

Might be a bullshit complaint but I'm a bit sad seeing everyone stuck in their phones all day. Sad to see almost everyone absorbed in social media.


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## MFB

AwakenTheSkies said:


> Might be a bullshit complaint but I'm a bit sad seeing everyone stuck in their phones all day. Sad to see almost everyone absorbed in social media.



More people could take a page or two from vejichan's book and learn to reduce their screen time


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## TedEH

"Everyone's on social media all the time! Almost literally everyone!"
"Oh, how do you know?"
"I saw it on social media."
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I'd be willing to bet we're past the peak of "literally everyone" being on social media all the time now that the novelty has worn off and we see how awful those places become after some time. Lots of people are online all the time. Lots of people are not. My guess is that those groups don't overlap much.


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