# My universe AND jem were stolen on my birthday :(



## jymellis (Dec 20, 2011)

So at 300am december 16th (my birthday). i awoke to the sound of knocking at my door.
It was the police. they informed me. that my son and 3 buddies led them on a highspeed chase in my brand new honda odyssey. Then ran it into a brick wall at 65mph (they are fine).
After putting on my pants and getting my keys to get my son. i walked into the room with my guitars to get my coat. my uv7bk (green dot) and jem 777vbk were gone.
My wife then checked her purse and her credit and debit card were also gone.
he was running away in our van and taking my guitars to sell. (he was running away due to being in trouble for getting caught skipping school).
my guitars where laying ontop of each other not in cases at the time of the wreck. the impact of the van hitting the wall at 65mph threw them around inside the van destroying both guitars.
My son was not driving so he had to come straight home. the "friend" that was driving is in jdc for grand theft auto. (they are all 15 with no license or permits)
so far i have cut his hair off. and made him empty his room of everything but a bed.
the van is totalled. insurance is gonna cover the van. but that leaves us without a vehicle to drive our 5 kids in, or for my wife to get to work. with this wreck and an open loan for $40k on the wrecked van we wont have credit for another van. our insurance is also prolly gonna drop us due to being a high liability.
does anybody have ANY advice, please


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## vampiregenocide (Dec 20, 2011)

Wow. That is fucking shit right there. That's genuinely shocking your son could do that. Sorry to hear bro. Not sure what else to say without offending you with my rage.


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## Greatoliver (Dec 20, 2011)

Man, I'm so sorry  I'm glad to hear your son is not harmed at least


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## leftyguitarjoe (Dec 20, 2011)

Did your loan have gap coverage?


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## metal_sam14 (Dec 20, 2011)

Holy shit mate, so sorry to hear that, you must be in a horrible situation 

My only suggestion is force your son to work and take 100% of the profits towards replacing everything. 

Hope things work out for you


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## fretninjadave (Dec 20, 2011)

Damn Dude I'm glad your Kiddo is ok . That's a tough predicament you got going on. Best wishes bro!


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## sggod89 (Dec 20, 2011)

Yeah man, reading that made me pretty mad too. Really sorry to hear about those guitars, those we some really nice instruments you had.

I'd say do what you have to do for the time being to get by. The good news is that your son is just at the age to get his first job! See to it that he gets a job in the summer/weekends during school time. Make sure you follow up with the police to pursue restitution for damages from the kid that was driving and charged. Might even attend his court dates in case the judge or DA has any questions.

It sounded like your son was making some bad choices, but maybe such a big incident like this will set his thinking straight.


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## That_One_Person (Dec 20, 2011)

Wow man. All I can say is that I hope things end up working out for you because you seem like a pretty awesome dude here on the forums.


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## Aurochs34 (Dec 20, 2011)

So sorry to hear that man; that's terrible. Glad your son is okay though.

I could only agree with having him work against what he's done...use whatever you can to get your wife an inexpensive car and go from there. Maybe part the van out if you can.


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## leandroab (Dec 20, 2011)

Wow jym.. This sucks really bad. Why would your son wanna do that in the first place? First thing is trying to talk to him... Trying to understand the reasons behind this.


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## TimmaethBoy (Dec 20, 2011)

What in the hell were they thinking?  Happy birthday indeed, sheesh.. That's a shitty way to start the day off to the knocking of cops on your door telling you what happened.

If he does get a job to pay off all that damage, it's going to take a good long while to pay off what he did.  Has he acted out of line like that before? Reason I ask is because his "friends" probably coerced him into doing that.


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## Daiephir (Dec 20, 2011)

I'm glad your son is okay, and like Leandro said, talk to him about it, try to understand him, and I quite like the idea Metal Sam gave, force him to work and take ALL of his money as compensation. Other than that, I dont know what to say

(Kill his friends also )


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## Stealthdjentstic (Dec 20, 2011)

Get him to stop hanging out with scum, make him work, etc...


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## groph (Dec 20, 2011)

jymellis said:


> So at 300am december 16th (my birthday). i awoke to the sound of knocking at my door.
> It was the police. they informed me. that my son and 3 buddies led them on a highspeed chase in my brand new honda odyssey. Then ran it into a brick wall at 65mph (they are fine).
> After putting on my pants and getting my keys to get my son. i walked into the room with my guitars to get my coat. my uv7bk (green dot) and jem 777vbk were gone.
> My wife then checked her purse and her credit and debit card were also gone.
> ...



Yeah, wow, okay.

I'd probably be having a lot of difficulty withholding from beating the kid into a bloody mess so props if you don't do that, Jym. I guess you're going to have to find a way to put the fear of God into him so he gets a job and starts paying you back for the damages. As for his "friend," that fuck deserves to be punished to the fullest extent of the law, of course he's 15 though and I have no idea how juveniles are punished in your neck of the woods. If there was any way of binding the kids involved to your service, that would be great. Get in touch with their families, I guess, see if their dads aren't beyond fuming, get together, and brand these kid's asses with your mark. Can you sue for damages, or would suing be a giant dick move? I'm no lawyer.

The only thing that would be keeping me from kicking my own hypothetical son out if he fucked the entire family over like that would be the fact that we have the same DNA. 

I guess he's going to know exactly what it was that he did, exactly how much he owes, and life in your house is going to be a living hell for him for a long time. He needs to have his face rubbed in this huge mess he created. I certainly wouldn't be making eye contact with him or speaking to him in a friendly tone for *quite *a while. I don't know how well you're coping with this but obviously there must be a part of you that wants to wring his neck.


Now, I guess he could always want to run away again and you'll never, ever see him if things are too harsh. Kicking him out would basically screw him for life and you wouldn't want to do that to your own kid even if he did set your family back a boatload of money, just kicking your kid's ass and booting him out of the house to try to make ends meet for himself is basically the opposite of what a father should be.

I guess it sounds like he's going to learn (if he hasn't already) the reality of financing a family, this kid has a loooong road to redemption ahead of him. If I was in your position, every penny he makes until he's 18 or whatever the age is to make such a thing illegal would be mine. He'll probably only be able to pay off your guitars with a minimum wage job, but at least it'll be an agonizing punishment.

EDIT: Oh, yeah and if you haven't done this, sell all of his stuff. He thinks it's okay to steal from you to sell your shit so that means it's okay to do it to him. He deserves a basic bed to sleep in and a couple of changes of clothes. Bare essentials, nothing more.


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## Michael T (Dec 20, 2011)

Damn bro, when I got your text about the Van & guitars I Damn near dropped my phone. That's just fucked bro. Need to borrow any 7 stringers feel free to hit me up mang


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## PeteyG (Dec 20, 2011)

I've heard few real life stories that have made me rage more than this. 

Jym, mate, I am truly sorry that your own kid has brought this upon yourself. I can't imagine the amount of mixed feelings you must be going through right now.

I have no words to help out really, the only thing I would say is try not to reinforce his apparent urge to run away from responsibility, try instead to punish him in a way where he will eventually realise just how much of an arse he has been.

Best of luck dude.


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## groph (Dec 20, 2011)

PeteyG said:


> I've heard few real life stories that have made me rage more than this.
> 
> Jym, mate, I am truly sorry that your own kid has brought this upon yourself. I can't imagine the amount of mixed feelings you must be going through right now.
> 
> ...



Yeah. His life basically MUST be shit until he's out of high school. I wouldn't be buying him anything anymore, either. Aside from basic necessities like food and clothing. You've got to somehow make sure he stays at home though - that'll be a trick. He deserves nothing short of the biggest ass kicking of his life, but obviously you can't (really shouldn't) do that, and kicking him out of the house won't be putting him in a good position later in life.


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## signalgrey (Dec 20, 2011)

wow dude im so sorry this is happening to you. What could we do for you? Christmas is almost here and I have no problem sending you something to make the season a bit easier. Its not charity just what anyone should do to help a fellow human.


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## BIG ND SWEATY (Dec 20, 2011)

id give him a whooping he'd never forget make him pay back all of the money for the guitars and any and all house work no matter how hard would be done by him and him alone, but of course thats just me. i do agree with groph though sell all of his stuff to help cover the costs also dont be afraid to sue the kid driving your van either its completely justified if you do.


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## MikeH (Dec 20, 2011)

I was pretty floored when you sent me that text, man. I don't know what to say about the punishment, other than what has been suggested. I hope everything works itself out, though. You're a good guy and don't deserve such a thing.

If anyone is interested, I might start a Kickstarter so we can at least get him one of his guitars back. Anyone interested in donating?


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## Blind Theory (Dec 20, 2011)

Because I fucking adore this show, go to your local Jail or Prison and see if they have a scared straight program. The prison will most likely have one. Send him to that. I would suggest that over anything. Show him that actions like that can have very serious consequences. 

Point two, because I am only one year removed from high school, go to his school and talk to administrators. You don't have to explain the situation but make sure you figure out how they can handle attendance. I know my school had a truancy program where the student had to get a paper signed by his teachers stating he participated and showed up to class and you had to turn it in either daily or weekly. This way he is forced to stay in class or face the consequences of that. 

For even more at home punishment, make him go around the neighborhood (since he isn't old enough to get a job depending on the state) and mow laws, rake leaves, shovel snow to start earning money to pay back to you. God knows he owes you and your entire family MORE than that. Don't let him hang out with any old friends, don't let him go out of the house without you or your wife. Enforce a strict bedtime. Seems juvenile but he didn't exactly act on a mature level. 

Another BIG one. Since he seems to like felonies involving vehicles, don't allow him to get his permit when he is of age. If he wants to drive, he can pay out of HIS pocket to get the tests AFTER he turns 18. He can also pay for the car out of HIS pocket and pay for the insurance out of HIS pocket. 

Basically, make him wish he was in jail. He needs to regret his decision deeply. Even if you think he regrets it and is sorry, chances are there is still room for his regret to grow. This seems very dictatorial but after allowing his "friends" to steal your (what appears to be) only vehicle for your entire family, stealing two expensive guitars, two expensive laptops and credit cards/debit cards THEN proceeding to get into a police chase which ended in your only vehicle being totaled...um, yeah. He deserves jail time. Sorry to say it so bluntly but he does. I would seriously advise implementing ALL of the things I said. A strict and unfavorable home environment will make him regret his decision, a strict and unfavorable school environment will make him regret it even more and then you add to that the Scared Straight program and not being able to drive unless he funds ALL of it...I doubt he will go out and be mister rebel anymore. Worst case scenario, he runs away, gets caught and gets put on probation/ankle monitor. Hope you can recover from all this quick.

And because I just read it, MikeH, I would donate as much as my minimum wage job would allow me to if you set it up.


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## toiletstand (Dec 20, 2011)

PeteyG said:


> I've heard few real life stories that have made me rage more than this.
> 
> Jym, mate, I am truly sorry that your own kid has brought this upon yourself. I can't imagine the amount of mixed feelings you must be going through right now.
> 
> ...


 ^


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## JStraitiff (Dec 20, 2011)

Man.. This is pretty fucked up. Not really thing kind of thing you should be sharing on the internet if you ask me. But since you already did, ill give you my . First off it was a honda odyssey. You're kind of asking for it lol. I kid.

When kids act like this its because there is something wrong. Something made him stop going to school and its not because his grades were suffering. Grades are a product of skipping, not the cause. I dont know your son's story so i cant point any reasons out but i suggest you look back and see what he has been through recently. The car and such are really just unfortunate events that i bet he wished never got so out of control. Remember that your son is a human and nothing less. He isn't just running around causing havoc like an evil villain just for the fun of it. He is full of emotion and this is all that is important to him. In a situation like this, i know it is the last thing you want to do, but you might not want to punish him. Based on his actions, he has very little left to lose. His possessions are of little value anymore as he was going to leave them behind, and disappointing you clearly isn't a big deal. So what do you really have to punish him with? He is in such a dark place right now why would you want to make it worse? Instead you should try to help him assess the problems he is facing and get his mind back into balance.Improving your relationship is going to give him someplace to turn and not dread. Making him work right now isnt going to put his mind at ease either. If anything i would suggest he pay you back for the guitars, and wait until he is improving. The guitars are a reasonable goal for him and either way the car is going to be covered by the insurance. By the time he is even allowed to work, you will be done with sorting out the car problem.

Just keep in mind that making his life seem impossible or any worse than it already is will probably just drive him down more. He may even end up killing himself if you arent careful.


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## Daiephir (Dec 20, 2011)

JStraitiff said:


> Man.. This is pretty fucked up. Not really thing kind of thing you should be sharing on the internet if you ask me. But since you already did, ill give you my . First off it was a honda odyssey. You're kind of asking for it lol. I kid.
> 
> When kids act like this its because there is something wrong. Something made him stop going to school and its not because his grades were suffering. Grades are a product of skipping, not the cause. I dont know your son's story so i cant point any reasons out but i suggest you look back and see what he has been through recently. The car and such are really just unfortunate events that i bet he wished never got so out of control. Remember that your son is a human and nothing less. He isn't just running around causing havoc like an evil villain just for the fun of it. He is full of emotion and this is all that is important to him. In a situation like this, i know it is the last thing you want to do, but you might not want to punish him. Based on his actions, he has very little left to lose. His possessions are of little value anymore as he was going to leave them behind, and disappointing you clearly isn't a big deal. So what do you really have to punish him with? He is in such a dark place right now why would you want to make it worse? Instead you should try to help him assess the problems he is facing and get his mind back into balance.Improving your relationship is going to give him someplace to turn and not dread. Making him work right now isnt going to put his mind at ease either. If anything i would suggest he pay you back for the guitars, and wait until he is improving. The guitars are a reasonable goal for him and either way the car is going to be covered by the insurance. By the time he is even allowed to work, you will be done with sorting out the car problem.
> 
> Just keep in mind that making his life seem impossible or any worse than it already is will probably just drive him down more. He may even end up killing himself if you arent careful.



And that 1st sentence categorises you as an idiot, the man has 5 kids

Otherwise, the rest of what you said is something to consider too


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## JStraitiff (Dec 20, 2011)

Daiephir said:


> And that 1st sentence categorises you as an idiot, the man has 5 kids
> 
> Otherwise, the rest of what you said is something to consider too



Haha yea i know i was just kidding. Obviously he needs the space of a van. Driving a mini van is like a sin though lol


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## MikeH (Dec 20, 2011)

Here you guys go. Any and all donations are appreciated.
Reconciliation for a friend by Michael Herman - GoFundMe


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## BlindingLight7 (Dec 20, 2011)

I assume your kid is around my age (18).

Kids these days are just fucking stupid, incredibly stupid, We think we know everything and can do whatever we want. that's how I was before going to military school and starting work.

I'll make my suggestion, send him to a National Guard Youth Challenge Academy, it targets "troubled" youths and I guarantee they'll set him straight in just 5 months time.


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## ZEBOV (Dec 21, 2011)

groph said:


> Can you sue for damages, or would suing be a giant dick move?


I think Jym should be as much of a dick as he can. I'm not sure how easy it is to sue a minor. It makes more sense to me that the driver's parents can be sued. I'm not a lawyer neither though.



groph said:


> You've got to somehow make sure he stays at home though - that'll be a trick.



Leg irons? Or is that too harsh?
(nb4 possible neg rep, I can't think of any better way to keep him home. I promise I'll never have kids).


If I were in your position, I would treat him like a drill instructor treats recruits on Parris Island. The only words that would come from my mouth would be mean and screamed out. Rude awakenings in the morning can make the rest of the day go really shitty. Drill instructors on Parris Island tend to throw loaded metal garbage cans in the barracks to wake up the recruits, which loudly crashes onto the floor echoes everywhere, and then a recruit gets ordered to "PICK UP THE FUCKING TRASH!" Since you're only trying to wake up one person while others could be asleep (he should be up before his other brothers and sisters anyways), grab him by the foot, pull him out of bed, and tell him to make his fucking bed. Keeping an LED light shined on his face will make it quite unpleasant if you let him sleep in the dark. Or you could wire his ceiling light to always stay on while not letting him put anything over his eyes.

(nb4 possible neg rep) This is simply what I would do if I were in the OP's position. Again, I promise to never have kids.


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## JeffFromMtl (Dec 21, 2011)

That's seriously fucked up, man. I've known a few people in my time to do idiotic and dangerous things like this. I'm really sorry to hear this happened to you.

As for the punishment, I think making him work to pay you back makes sense, and I appreciate the hard-ass move of taking away everything but his bed. If it were me, I'd probably let the kid bust his ass working, and have him slowly buy back the stuff that you took from his room. It'll show him a thing or two about honest hard work and the value of a dollar when he realizes how expensive all the stuff he's taken for granted is. In the process you'll be getting back the money for your guitars, and hopefully at least to cover some damages on the van if you have a problem with the insurance.


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## MaxOfMetal (Dec 21, 2011)

I'm really sorry to hear this man. 

While I know you know your shit concerning guitars, I'd be more than happy to work on the "remains" of them to see if I can save them at all. I have a good amount of parts.


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## Thep (Dec 21, 2011)

Best of wishes jym. It could have ended much worse than it did, so of course this is like a new beginning. 

I sincerely hope that your vehicle situation is sorted out well.


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## Necris (Dec 21, 2011)

My reaction to the title was nothing compared to the story to go with it. I don't even know what to say. You've given him everything in his life, he deserves nothing from you beyond the basics (food, clothing, a home until he can move out) after this.
I agree with what everyone else has said in this thread. Put him to work, make sure he has no free time. Sell everything of his that isn't his mattress or clothing and keep him on an extremely tight leash until he is old enough to move out.

However, harsh as that may seem I am concerned for him and I'm sure you are as well. Keep an eye on him. If risking his life in a high speed car chase and stealing from his own family in an attempt to escape is how he reacted to the punishment for skipping school his potential reaction to the consequences of this are enough to make me worry but he is still obligated to make things right.


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## Fred the Shred (Dec 21, 2011)

When Jym told me this yesterday I was truly speechless. All I can say at the moment is the same as always: hit me up if I can help you with anything, man.


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## ralphy1976 (Dec 21, 2011)

Fred the Shred said:


> When Jym told me this yesterday I was truly speechless. All I can say at the moment is the same as always: hit me up if I can help you with anything, man.



yeah me too dude, no problem for sure


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## AK DRAGON (Dec 21, 2011)

This is one of those stories that you would never wish upon anyone, including your worse enemy. 

My family had a similar incident many moons ago with my step-sister's (related by marriage) son. He was getting in with a bad crowd and would lie, cheat, steal, etc. His dad, being an ex state trooper, put his foot down. It failed to curb his son's actions. After he was put into a military youth academy his attitude changed immensely. He soon learned that living under Dad's roof wasn't so bad after all. Now, he is finishing up college after serving some time in the military as a translator (Russian).

Jym,

I'm sorry to hear that the Grinch hit your family early this year. I hope that things work out for you and the family. 

My initial instincts would have been to strangle him. Though, I don't think I would have done anything differently than what you have already started. He's going to have plenty of time for this to sink in but, try not to rub it in. This would be a good tool to lay out all the cards on the table to give him a good 'cause and effect' on what his actions have done. Sit down with him and the wife and find out why he is acting out. All in all let him know that he is your son that that you still care. 

Lay down the new ground rules and as much as it's going to hurt don't give in. He has to re-earn your trust to visit friends, to do activities, school functions, etc. Restrict him from contacting his 3 accomplices as they seem to have a bad influence on one another. Give him chores around the house. Keep him busy enough to not have time for his mind to wander.

As was suggested earlier talk to his teachers and see if they will work with you in sending email progress reports (as well as sending the note home)on his class attendance/involvement. Check nightly to see that his homework is actually done. Let him know that he has to maintain your standards of grades.

I agree 100% on letting the insurance deal with covering the Van. Insurance shouldn't drop you as it was technically 'stolen'. I would get with the other kids' parents to have their kids work off the damages that isn't covered (I know I would conscript my kids to pay off the debt). Let your son know that he is not immune and he is also going to work off the debt. Talk to neighbors, friends, and family who may have odd jobs for him and arrange it so that you know the details so he can establish trust when he pays you. In light of the situation I don't know if he would have trouble getting work in fast food/retail.

Check into local troubled teen programs. Give him the bottom line that he has a choice to be a man and take responsibility for his actions. Let him know that if he fails to comply with the new rules or attempts to run away he won't like the alternative.

If there is anything you need let us know and we will see if we can't help you out. Maybe someone nearby has a line on a loaner vehicle


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## Konfyouzd (Dec 21, 2011)

Jym texted me this a while ago and I kinda thought he was joking. What a ridiculous thing to do--especially to your dad.


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## skeels (Dec 21, 2011)

As a father I know how much this must hurt. I do not envy your situation Jym. You must have infinite patience and understanding on your side to ensure your son learns from this mistake. I wish there were some way to impress on your boy the sadness he's caused you. He will have to work hard to rebuild his family's trust. I wish you the best of luck. Remember not to let anger get the best of you. Show your son that you still love him and that it pains you to punish or discipline him. If u would like any more sagely dad advice feel free to pm me. Hang in there.


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## petereanima (Dec 21, 2011)

Jym, man, I'm sorry to hear that, that must be a horrible situation. 

As a now 30 year old, who has been a bastard of a teenager (started hanging out with scum when I was 14...with 15, I got into pretty similar shit; a few times...which shames me even nowadays, 15 years later.), I am maybe not the best to state anything to this matter, I dont even know if you are looking for any "advise" at all..BUT I would like to say something nonetheless:

When I "practiced the overkill" back then - my parents acted similar as you did, leaving me nothing but my bed and (as I still was in school), a desk, pencils, schoolbooks, and the absolute minimum I needed on clothes. First thing they took was my guitars, and I dont think I need to tell anyone here how much _this_ hurts. But still - that was actually the least of my concerns...The way my parents acted, how they talked/yelled at me...I soon realized that this was the heaviest shit I ever did, and that I reallyreallyreally crossed the line, by FAR. Usually my parents would cool down within a few days, but that time, it was different - It took a very long time and I had to earn back their confidence bit by bit, over a long period of time...and also I had to work (they had a carpentry back then, and I had to do sweep the halls/palletizing all of the woods/load in&out the tools for the workers) for the damage I've done, and when that was paid - I had to work further to get back every single CD/LP/guitar/amp/yaddayadda they took from me, bit by bit.

All of that made me more and more realize what a fucktard I have been, and in the end, I must admit, the way they reacted, what they did/how they did it...it made me a "better" person. I learned a lot in that time, I learned more about "boundaries", "right or wrong", "moral", "respect", "grace", CONSEQUENCES (!!) in that time than some people learn in their whole life. And also about why one shouldn surround oneself with specific individuals, and how to say "no"...basically about LIFE in general.

What I am trying to say is - I know you love your kids, I am sure you won't give him up (even if there is an understandable "need" to do so)...just wanted to point out that there is now also the chance to set him straight forever, to get him forever away from such shit. 

Tough times man, stay strong! If you have the need to talk, hit me up.


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## jymellis (Dec 21, 2011)

WOW guys i am astonished at the heartfelt messages here. i am in a place right now of serious depression and you guys have actually made me smile  
for those wondering. NO i didnt beat him,smack him, or even throw him down. i dont know how, but i didnt.
this is the same child i gave up playing guitar for in 1997. this is the same child my wife and i gave up our lives for ( she was 15 and i was 17 when we had him,married at 16 and 18).
we have really been interested in the millitary academy solution. do any of you guys have any experiences with them?
as for selling his belongings, i have a 9 year old son that would love his older brothers "cool stuff". i think he shall inherit all of the olders belongings.
this all started around the time he got beaten and robbed for his cell phone and mp3 player
http://www.sevenstring.org/forum/off-topic/173072-need-some-help-my-cinci-people.html

everyone here has had the best advice i could ask for. and until you have drove a 2010 honda odyssey you will not understand the awesomeness or luxury of a nice van lol 

i am going to BEG my father for some money to either buy a used van or a downpayment on a newer van. due to christmas i have zero extra money. we save all year long to be able to buy a nice christmas for our 5 kids. so we have zero spendable money.
im pretty sure he will give it to me or loan it to me(he was gonna buy my son his first car in a couple months) so ill just ask him if I can have THAT money.

thanx max for the offer of fixing them. they are kinda shafted.
the jem has about 3 dings/dents/gouges in the back of the neck. cracks in the headstock at the locking nut,dents in the fretboard, dings AND dents and scratches ALL over the body into the wood.
the universe is unplayable. there are also dings/gouges in the back of the neck. dings/gouges in the fretboard. and the entire trem has shifted forward. the trem stud inserts and studs are pulled from the wood. and it looks like the trem actually bent?

and as for mike h. i cant believe you started a donation fund. you guys (all of you) are the best friends a guy could have,real life or internet. actually you guys are more "friends" than almost everyone i know in real life.

i dont really know what is going to happen. he has court to go to. i dont know what he will be sentenced with or his fines. we are seriously considering military academy. any more info on this would be great


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## ralphy1976 (Dec 21, 2011)

well keep your head up (i know it is easier said than done, and i have no idea how you really feel now) if you need to vent you can always email me or FB me with a ton of shit, i am cool with it.

I hope he won't get bashed in court

EDIT : check your email bro!!


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## MikeH (Dec 21, 2011)

Not a problem, Jym. I know we haven't gotten to hang out much, but the time or two that we actually have, you've been super cool. I wouldn't wish this on anyone as cool as you, so I figure this will at least put a small dent in the damages, and help keep your christmas spirit up.


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## DC23 (Dec 21, 2011)

Jym, really sorry to hear about what's going on. All I can say is, in my opinion, your son should be shown the consequences of his actions by at least trying to contribute financially to what he has caused. He should have to get a job and work to pay all of this off (or at least the guitars for now). It's not a matter of being harsh or cruel, it is simply a matter of showing him that this is his mess and he will have to answer for it in some way (that's what happens in the real world, you don't get sheltered like you do under a parent's roof at the age of 15). Be supportive, understanding, and loving, but don't hide him or protect him from the mess he has caused (and the hardship he has put you and your whole family in). 

Also, my utmost respect to you for somehow restraining yourself and not kicking his a**.


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## jymellis (Dec 21, 2011)

Police chase ends with crash into concrete wall in Reading


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## ralphy1976 (Dec 21, 2011)

jymellis said:


> Police chase ends with crash into concrete wall in Reading



CHECK YOUR FREAKING EMAIL MAING!!


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## jymellis (Dec 21, 2011)

that is a "cashed"" version of the news report. i think they had to pull everything due to them being minors ?


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## jymellis (Dec 21, 2011)

ralphy1976 said:


> CHECK YOUR FREAKING EMAIL MAING!!



check your rep points and messages you crazy :golf:ing mofakka


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## ralphy1976 (Dec 21, 2011)

jymellis said:


> that is a "cashed"" version of the news report. i think they had to pull everything due to them being minors ?



yep, most likely..the gun point part must have been a bit "interesting"..hope it shed some light into how freaking dangerous this little adventure was, as least to some of them...

have you been able to found out what is the most lenient sentence your son will have?


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## MikeH (Dec 21, 2011)

That's probably the case. I don't know if reporters have contacted you or not, but if they haven't, I'm sure it's a consent issue.


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## ralphy1976 (Dec 21, 2011)

jymellis said:


> check your rep points and messages you crazy :golf:ing mofakka



no probs bro


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## Kwirk (Dec 21, 2011)

Wow, that must be a really safe van. Seriously.


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## BlindingLight7 (Dec 21, 2011)

I want to mourn the loss of one of my favorite guitars of all time, the UV777 Green dot.


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## jymellis (Dec 21, 2011)

yes it was a very safe van. something like 12 airbags went off. entire front of the van crumpled, even the roof.


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## Fred the Shred (Dec 21, 2011)

BlindingLight7 said:


> I want to mourn the loss of one of my favorite guitars of all time, the UV777 Green dot.



Her old and stage battered sister is (literally) flying to the rescue this week, fear not.


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## JamesM (Dec 21, 2011)

Jesus H. Christ. 

Military school, then the Marines. Seriously. I come from a military family full of (past) impudent fucks and the military has literally turned some of the most selfish, insufferable and worthless teens into people I would trust with my life and love dearly. This is the exact sort of shit they did and they are doing great now. 

Best of luck mang, why does this :golf:ing shit always happen to good people like you?


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## Jontain (Dec 21, 2011)

Wow... I am really sorry to hear this man, my sincere condolences.

As for your son he will probably put himself through alot of crap for this but it may not be enough, as that dad (in my opinion) you should help him to understand exactly why his (hopefully ex) friend is a selfish dick and hopefully put him onto a better path.

Only once grown up will he really understand why he needs the tough love when he is part of something like this but he will love you forever more if you help him onto the right path.

I can understand the pain from loss of your guitars and the van etc but whats really important here is that your son can learn properly from his actions and better his morals, i think thats the best out come you can look for. Although making him work hard (not instead of school mind) to pay you back for the guitars etc, even if he never manages to pay off the whole debt it will again help his moral compass imo.

So sorry to hear this man, also, as is often the case lol, I am not stating fact. Just my opinion.


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## jymellis (Dec 21, 2011)

thanks so much again guys. readin these replies is really helping me keep my sanity \m/\m/ (whats left of it) lol


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## ElRay (Dec 21, 2011)

Holy  man. Condolences. I'm glad my oldest is just a 2nd grader. 


Ray


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## Customisbetter (Dec 21, 2011)

I can't imagine the heartache this must bring. Keep your head up high and cool. You guys will get through this.


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## s_k_mullins (Dec 21, 2011)

Jym, I'm really sorry to hear that this happened buddy. It's a really horrible story and I can't even begin to understand what was going through your son's mind when he made these choices. I know you have a huge weight on you now to not only deal with the financial burden of replacing the van and guitars, but also deciding on how to deal with your son's actions. 

It's a huge burden to deal with something like this, but you know everyone here at SSO will be here to listen to you, offer advice/help, etc. You're an awesome guy, and we're all truly sorry that it happened to you. Some of these guys have already went above and beyond what "internet friends" should ever have to do, and I'm super proud to be part of their community! 

In the end, just be thankful that your boy escaped unharmed. Guitars and vans can be replaced, but you can never replace your child! (even if you sometimes want to )


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## Blind Theory (Dec 21, 2011)

I hadn't even thought of military school! That would be a great idea. Extreme discipline sounds like what he needs. Then send him off to the Marine Corps. That'll whoop his ass into being a responsible person. Also, it may benefit you to go to your local PD and ask them to "scare" your kid with some knowledge and what I mean by that is, they usually have a large stockpile of gruesome, violent pictures of crash scenes. Show him the reality of what can happen every time he gets behind the wheel or gets in the car with someone who isn't allowed to drive. They will probably say they have better things to do but if they don't and they agree to it, he would think a bit more about it. And I understand he probably isn't all about car theft and just did what was close and available but a little more fear is never too bad. Good luck getting back on your feet and I will donate some money for you on Friday when I get paid. Best of luck, man!


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## Pooluke41 (Dec 21, 2011)

Hey man, hope you get through this, No words can express how shocked I was when I read this.

Hope it all works out.


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## Chickenhawk (Dec 21, 2011)

I donated $75. All I can spare. Actually, probably a little more than I can, but whatever.

You know how to get ahold of me, dude. 

On a lighter note: I'm actually going to do some digging on that kind of van. It must be one hell of a safe vehicle.


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## PyramidSmasher (Dec 21, 2011)

Yo dude everyone should donate for his Universe. This is shitty though, you seem like a killer father from what I know, and I can't believe this happened to you.


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## jymellis (Dec 21, 2011)

thanx guys, and your words of wisdom,concern, and wishes means more than a guitar (to me atleast)
the van was fabulous. we are looking at another older model. i think my dad is gonna loan me the downpayment on another odyssey. we have to have another vehicle by monday (when the rental van goes back). and cant afford or credit another new vehicle. so we are looking at used odysseys \m/


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## Fred the Shred (Dec 21, 2011)

If by donate to his Universe you mean mine, he's not supposed to pay for it and I'll kick his ass, rape him with a power tool and kick his ass again if he even tries to.  It's staying with for as long as he needs to calmly rebuild far more important aspects of his life and only then worry about sniping another one. Also I know he's taking care of my baby and his "OMG you mean THE Fred Brum UV7?!" made me feel it's a nice uplift for him, which he totally deserves.


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## jymellis (Dec 21, 2011)

fred, if i can buy another one before you send yours, your keeping it. if i can get another in a week or tax return time. yours is coming back RIGHT THEN  plus ill have it cleaner and better playing than when you got it \m/\m/ your my brother norman


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## Fred the Shred (Dec 21, 2011)

Unless you are buying one this week, not happening, bro... 

Anyway, focus on the rest and worry about sniping a UV later. That part is covered for as long as necessary, man. I mean it.


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## Stealthdjentstic (Dec 21, 2011)

Fred's Bum: truely a gentleman & scholar.


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## Fred the Shred (Dec 21, 2011)

"Fred's Bum" - you are so getting bummed quite viciously...


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## Djent (Dec 21, 2011)

Help a friend out with a guitar... - TalkBass Forums

Put it on TalkBass for you


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## synrgy (Dec 21, 2011)

I'm not trying to derail this thread or draw attention to myself by sharing the following story. My hope is that this story coupled with the image I _hope_ I portray as a member of this community will help illustrate that any teenage fuck-up can turn things around and become a decent human being, eventually, if given the chance. Advanced apologies for a wall of text, but I'm not good at brief summations. 

When I was just shy of 15 years old, I _accidentally_ burned my bedroom down. Seriously. Here's a heavy dose of teenage stupidity: I was a smoker (cigarettes) and I smoked in my room all the time. My parents smoked too, so they weren't inclined to give me much shit about it. Anyway, I had this small plastic trash can, that was my monument to stupid; my "trophy" ash-tray, filled almost to the brim with extinguished cigarette butts. One night, extremely late, I had a smoke, put the cigarette out in the trash can full of butts (or, I _thought_ I put it out..) then proceeded to exit my bedroom, _locked the door_, and quietly snuck out of the house to meet a friend a few blocks away.

My friend no-showed, so I went back home about 20 minutes after leaving. I could see weird light in my bedroom window. As soon as I got inside the house, I could hear my Mom screaming. She thought I was in the room, AND my door was locked. My step-Dad took to trying to break the door down. My Mom kept yelling my name, and shouting things like "not my Son", "my Son is in there", "oh God", etc. I didn't know what to do. I'd never heard that level of terror in my Mom's voice before. I just yelled up the stairs that I was not in my room; that I was downstairs. She yelled back. "Oh, thank God!... Your room is on fire!" "WHAT?!" "YOUR ROOM IS ON FIRE!!"

A lot of the rest is fuzzy, now. I remember my mom coming down the stairs, and trying to smack me, twice. Instinctively, I dodged both like some kind of ninja, which I immediately and still regret as I knew then and know now how much I deserved to be smacked. Then, my step dad came down the stairs, and for some reason the same ninja instinct didn't kick in. He definitely smacked me, right across my face, and I don't blame him one bit.

LUCKILY, I had a water bed, and when the fire spread to that, the water mattress burst, putting out most of the fire. Unfortunately, that meant that in addition to the room being decimated by fire, it also took a ton of water damage. To make matters worse, this was a townhouse, but by some stroke of sheer luck, none of the damage made it through the walls into our neighbor's house.

That night, after the fire department cleared out, my parents best friends came and picked me up. I stayed with them for the next several days. When I finally returned home, my parents saw to it that I had no life for the entirety of my freshman year of high school. No phone, no friends, no staying up late, no invitations into the family's unspoken circle of trust; only activities which helped the family, or were otherwise constructive to my development as a remotely respectable person. They didn't even begin to start treating me like a somewhat normal person until mid-way through my sophomore year.

My parents strongly considered military school, but couldn't afford it. So, they worked with what they had.

The point I'm trying to get at here, is that this all took place just over half my lifetime ago (I'm 31, 32 in February) and not a day goes by in which I don't feel shame or regret for having made such a colossally stupid mistake. I have to live the rest of my life knowing that I caused my Mom a lot of grief in what turned out to be the last years of her own life; She died about 6-7 years after the fire incident. All that said, these experiences, and how we react to the fallout they cause, play a huge part in defining our character. Had I not made that mistake back then, and seen what a terrible effect it had on my family, I might not have ended up with the remorse I now carry, which really fuels my day-to-day striving to not be a burden to anyone else regardless of context, family or stranger.

We learn infinitely more from our own mistakes than from any wisdom our elders try to bestow upon us. Regrettably, true wisdom comes only from experience.

Jym, I'm truly, truly sorry that you and your family have to experience this. I empathize and sympathize completely. Christmas season being what it is, I'm pretty broke myself right now, but I'll definitely be chipping in to the fund. I have faith that some day, you will be able to look back on this situation and laugh about it. It's not any kid's fault that adolescence is a thinly veiled synonym for "completely insane".

I'm certainly not telling you to go easy on the kid, nor would I presume to tell you how to handle your own business. Still, I hope that while making him understand how badly he's fucked up, and finding a constructive way to make him re-earn his place in your family, that you don't allow him to feel for a moment that he is un-loved. Moments like these are precarious-to/pivotal-in a person's development. If your son ends up feeling that his life as he knows it is over (through the very distorted lens of adolescence), he may not be able to recover if he can't trust that he'll still have support when/if the shit REALLY hits the fan.

Also, as my girlfriend just spent the day before yesterday mourning the 2nd anniversary of her brother's death-by-heroin-overdose, count your blessings that your Son's poor choice(s) didn't turn him into a statistic. If your family handles the situation with love as the foundation (I'm not discounting *tough* love, mind you) I have good faith that this moment will be the defining moment which turns your son's life around.


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## SilenceIsACrime (Dec 21, 2011)

Dude, I am so sorry to hear about this. In regards to what to do with your son my first thought is counseling; punishment and authoritarian figures always made me act out more so I would definitely recommend getting a professional to work *with* him to sort himself out as opposed to against him (if that makes sense). It sounds like your family is having such a rough year and if the least I can do is help chip in for a new guitar then goddamnit that's what I'll do. I wish you and yours all the best, man.


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## jymellis (Dec 21, 2011)

holy shit synrgy. ill reply when i can grasp words.


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## ittoa666 (Dec 21, 2011)

metal_sam14 said:


> Holy shit mate, so sorry to hear that, you must be in a horrible situation
> 
> My only suggestion is force your son to work and take 100% of the profits towards replacing everything.
> 
> Hope things work out for you



 I second this.


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## Phrygian (Dec 21, 2011)

So sorry to hear this dude, crazy story!

My first thought was that this might have something to do with that horrible incident where got mugged bad. You mentioned it started after that. He might have a hard time coping, and ends up having it control his life and have him make some poor decisions. Severely punishing him after this might make it all worse, but he must know that actions have consequences. 

Most of all i think he needs his father (and mother of course). Your son is knee deep in regret and shit right know, he needs you to be there for him and see him through it. I'm not saying punishment is out of the question, but punishment comes in different forms. you can make his life a living hell or you can make it more of a learning experience, you know? 

You've probably already done it, but try talking to him in a calm way, about why he is acting out, why he did what he did and if you can help him with anything. that would probably help me turn around if i was him. being shouted at would just make me angry and impossible to deal with. 

It is of course fair to have him pay for everything, but there might not be a need to slam that to his face too soon? 


just my 2 cents, and what i would want my father to do if i was in that situation. let us know how this works out dude! I'll see what i can spare to the universe-fund


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## SirMyghin (Dec 21, 2011)

Fucking Hell Jym, I hope you can get around this somehow, I would find a way to force tha kid to be making money, stat.


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## rectifryer (Dec 21, 2011)

Sorry man. This is a loss on multiple levels. Losing a guitar isnt so bad compared to the rest of the situation. Hope you guys get financially sorted and your son gets things figured out.


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## Stealthdjentstic (Dec 21, 2011)

Phrygian raises a point. If the kid was on painkiller for 2 weeks or more it can be pretty easy to fall into depression especially if you dont know that continued use of painkillers can have that effect. When I first started takings loads of painkillers for my back it definately made me feel borderline retarded and very very tired. Hell some people dont even need oxy or t3's with codiene for that, they can take stuff like Aleve and feel like shit, especially if theyre young and light. 

Just something to think about I guess.


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## MikeH (Dec 21, 2011)

Up to $155 in less than 24 hours.  Let's see if we can get a Christmas present for Jym.
http://www.gofundme.com/bkhig


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## Stealthtastic (Dec 21, 2011)

Oh my god, this is the saddest thing I have ever heard. I am so sorry for you man. Glad your kid is ok though. Hope everything turns out ok.


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## GhostsofAcid (Dec 21, 2011)

wow. I really don't have anything to say, other than that you have my deepest condolences. That's one hell of a shitty day.


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## Fiction (Dec 21, 2011)

Sorry to hear that, all the advice has been given that could be. I'm happy your kids fine, and this could be the wake up call he needed, you'll find a contribution from me on MikeHs fund thing.. Have a great Christmas dude, remember family > presents. Don't worry if you can't afford to shower your kids (in presents ), they'll still love the atmosphere behind Christmas, I know I do.


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## Prydogga (Dec 21, 2011)

Fuck... Jym.... I have no words. I'll put some money into the donations tonight or tomorrow.


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## Necris (Dec 21, 2011)

What synyrgy said is true. 
Without going into detail myself and a friend did something stupid while wandering around our neighborhood when I was about your sons age. Thankfully the situation we caused ended well for everyone involved and noone was hurt. I haven't seen or spoken to that "friend" since then despite the fact that he lived right down the street from my house.

The punishment for my actions may not have deterred me on it's own, but the guilt from realizing the *potential* outcome of what we had done set me straight and continues to follow me.


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## petereanima (Dec 22, 2011)

24 hours later: 225,- raised, Fred ships an UV.....guys, seriously, I feel proud to be part of this community.


So, now I need to check out how this paypal thing works...


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## Fred the Shred (Dec 22, 2011)

Correction: UV ships tomorrow - I'm still wrapping the thing in a mile of bubblewrap and getting a better box today!


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## ralphy1976 (Dec 22, 2011)

do you still have that foam i sent you with the siggery?


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## Fred the Shred (Dec 22, 2011)

No, man - that was used to actually ship a guitar of mine to gig with!


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## Captain Shoggoth (Dec 22, 2011)

Utterly sorry to hear this, I don't really have any advice to give but you have my condolences. All I can say is at least your son is okay, physically if not otherwise.


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## The Buttmonkey (Dec 22, 2011)

Nothin but love from me and my family. Just gotta keep on truckin. I do agree with whoever it was who said that this could be the wake up call that turns your son's life around. Me and my best friend being 16 are both shocked.

Regarding punishment/dealing with him, in my opinion, you should show him what it means to be the bigger man and deal with him out of love (yes, tough love too) and do the opposite of what he expects (if that makes sense) Like if he expects you to whoop his butt, hug him instead then tell him you love him but he needs to go dig up your dad's septic tank. (something I've done, but with my dad on a rental houses tank) Are you feeling what I'm saying? I just don't think that at this point hate and rejection are things he can stand.

Once again, hugs from me and everyone around me!


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## Konfyouzd (Dec 22, 2011)

synrgy said:


> *epic life lesson*


Damn Carl... Spoken like a champ. Some serious wisdom there.


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## FormerlyVintage (Dec 22, 2011)

Wow, very shocked to hear this...

All the best and happy holidays, I hope this doesn't ruin them completely!

I would give money if I wouldn't be 15 and had a PayPal account or creditcard (or wasn't broke), but I know saying that doesn't help you.

Good luck!


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## cwhitey2 (Dec 22, 2011)

holy fuck Jym, i'm just hearing about this now 


Word can not express how sorry i am for you, at least your son is alive


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## jymellis (Dec 22, 2011)

well talked to insurance company. we are gonna break dead even on the van minus $200.00
i also talked to my dad. and he is loaning us some money for a downpayment on a new/used van. havent yet spoken to my son


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## Konfyouzd (Dec 22, 2011)

jymellis said:


> well talked to insurance company. we are gonna break dead even on the van minus $200.00
> i also talked to my dad. and he is loaning us some money for a downpayment on a new/used van. havent yet spoken to my son


 
Hey... 2 outa 3 ain't bad for now, homie. 

Hope all goes well, though.


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## caskettheclown (Dec 22, 2011)

Part of me thinks your son may need a therapist of some sort, people don't just do all that for nothing. If all else fails it will give him a chance to talk to someone who isn't punishing him. I know you are his Dad and love him more than anything in the world but its hard to talk to parents or someone who is punishing you. It might be a load of help for him to see a therapist, or it might not be. Just something to think about.


Hope things start looking up for you and your family.


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## JP Universe (Dec 22, 2011)

Fook this!!! Worst news man, as you were responsible for putting me on the right path with my Green Dot purchase and the first person in SS.ORG to make me feel welcome I have donated 20 bucks to the cause. All the best Jym!!! It can only get better from here.....


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## Phrygian (Dec 22, 2011)

I forgot to write what my other post was supposed to be all about, it's something my mom has told me that my grandfather told her when she was growing up.

She has told me on several occations that "Whatever you do, however deep the shit you get into - it's never so bad that you can't come home to us". 


Good luck with talking to your son when you get the chance, my thoughts are with you all in this!


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## poisonelvis (Dec 22, 2011)

sorry to hear about this,but like it's been said alot already,you're sons ok,and as a dad myself,the other things are just that,things,my sons can't be replaced,good luck to you,and it only can get better!!


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## Infinite Recursion (Dec 23, 2011)

The only thing I have to add to this is to implore you to think long and hard before you take any serious courses of action. If you don't handle this right, he has shown that he is severely troubled, and it could end up horribly. Regardless of what you do, he will almost certainly come back to you and try to improve his relationship with you, but that can't happen if he takes actions that irreversibly effect his life. I know from experience that there was a time in my life that if I didn't have anyone to turn to, and my parents decided to ship me to military school, I would be out of there in an instant and probably in prison or dead by now. Not trying to be alarmist or anything, but you have to think about it like a teenager would. The problems he's having obviously need to be resolved, but if you come down on him too hard, especially right after something happens when you're both still heated up about it, something bad could happen.


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## ZXIIIT (Dec 23, 2011)

I still can't believe it all happened dude, I hope it's a one time thing and that your son get's his shit together, you and your wife don't deserve that shit, I donated something, not much, but hope it helps rebuild man.


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## jymellis (Dec 23, 2011)

thanx a ton for all the great info guys!! donations are awesome also, didnt expect either to the extent i have received!! all of you guys are giving such insightful information. its helping me see this whole situation from many viewpoints besides my own EXTREMELY MAD point of view.
thats really what i was hoping to get from this thread. i only have one way of looking at this situation originally, as a pissed of father/victim. i was hoping for replies from younger members that have been in this situation or similar. or other members close to my age with insight.
you guys have kept me calm when i just wanted to pound him. we still havent talked about the whole thing. but i can sit in the same room with him now. i need a day or 2 more to calm down. and he needs a couple more days to think about what he did.
he is still pulling the "im 15 and know everything" mentality.
his court date is jan23rd. he is only charged with curfew violation, and underage possession (they had a half bottle of wine with them that was left over from thanksgiving that i guess they thought they would drink while running away)
the kid that was driving is facing more serious charges 

i havent played guitar since the whole thing yet, but im currently working on 2 guitars for customers. as soon as i get paid for those, im adding the $$$ to the donation fund mike set up.,


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## Alimination (Dec 23, 2011)

AH man I just read this today, little behind.

but wow what a story. Granted I'm still kinda semi-new to this place, this is the most insane story I've heard in SS.org. I'm glad to see everything going well, and more importantly glad your sons well too. 

That's so cool that the forum is doing a charity thing for you man. OH and Fred.. not only are you a kick ass player, but wow I have nothing but the utmost respect for you now dude.

Anyways Jym, I hope you and your family have the most awesome Holidays ever. Cheers!


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## jymellis (Dec 24, 2011)

its almost christmas, should i give him ANY of the presents i bought?


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## ralphy1976 (Dec 24, 2011)

jymellis said:


> its almost christmas, should i give him ANY of the presents i bought?



yes, but maybe not all of them.be the better man, although he was a dickhead he is still your blood.

try to talk to him too, ok? ;-)


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## leandroab (Dec 24, 2011)

ralphy1976 said:


> yes, but maybe not all of them.be the better man, although he was a dickhead he is still your blood.
> 
> try to talk to him too, ok? ;-)



this


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## steve1 (Dec 24, 2011)

jymellis said:


> its almost christmas, should i give him ANY of the presents i bought?



give him something, not everything, if there's a main present and some smaller ones maybe give him the small stuff and tell him he'll have earn the main one.

He may not deserve any presents, but excluding him from them would likely cast a shadow over the day for everyone and cause more tension. If he feels excluded from the family day, it gives him a reason/excuse not to care about his actions. 

Try to have one day off from the whole situation.

Edit: a couple of months ago i had a massive arguement with my dad, (under completely different circumstances, which i wont bore you with) when the red mist had dispersed, we talked a little more rationally. Then he hugged me. I went to my room and cried my fucking eyes out. I'm 24, i thought my crying days were over, with just a few in reserve for deaths and the like.

Talk to your son soon.


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## skeels (Dec 24, 2011)

Son, you are not a bad person. You just had a rush of sap to the head. We all make mistakes. I've made my share. I know how you are a great kid and I want to help you in anyway I can because I love you. Tell me what I can do and we will work through this together. That's what fathers and sons do. 

My father said something like this to me. I got in a lot of trouble when I was young. You'll need to talk to him eventually. Why not now? Let this Christmas be one to remember for profoundly loving reasons not for disapointments. 

I know you want to be upset and rightly so. But I know you want to be a good dad too. Your family needs that. The best present you could give your son and yourself is to be the Dad he needs. 

Good luck dude. 
Merry Christmas.


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## FormerlyVintage (Dec 24, 2011)

Reconciliation for a friend by Michael Herman - GoFundMe 

Reposting so that people can see it.

Good luck!


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## jymellis (Dec 24, 2011)

thanx guyz. we are gonna give him some things (invader zim hoodies,new backpack,new chuck taylors,etc. he isnt getting the ipod touch,kindle fire, video games, or anything of "entertainment purposes or internet capability")
your insight has been taken to heart, each and every one of you. my family thanx you so much,
and a MERRY THALL CHRISTMAS TO ALL \m/\m/


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## BucketheadRules (Dec 24, 2011)

Merry Christmas to you too Jym


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## jymellis (Dec 24, 2011)

BucketheadRules said:


> Merry Christmas to you too Jym



than my dood, you als


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## Customisbetter (Dec 24, 2011)

Give him something that will help him on his way. I don't think he deserves any pleasure from gifts this season. Make him appreciate his family and friends wihtout having to rely on videogames and other material things.


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## WickedSymphony (Dec 24, 2011)

Damn Jym. I don't know what to say after reading that story.

I can't really add any advice that hasn't been said before in this thread, nor any wild stories of my youth to relate to (I'm a gamer nerd with a monitor tan, never got in much trouble  ), but at least your son is home safe and that's what's important right now. The other things can be replaced eventually.

Here's to hoping things start lookin up for you and your family, Merry Christmas Jym!


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## Opion (Dec 24, 2011)

Holy fucking SHIT dude. Haven't cruised through ss.org for a while due to being out of town, and then I come to this. I've seen you around and have admired your green dot ever since getting my UV777...I am so deeply and utterly sorry for everything that has happened, sometimes life throws you a ten ton brick in the face when you least expect it. Don't listen to anyone trying to criticize your decisions in regards to punishment, while we all have opinions they hold no weight against what any of us would do in your exact situation. 

If I were in a good position financial wise I would donate to you...as a person who has had to work for what he has got I would be ABSOLUTELY devasted. I'm hoping you pull through with your struggles, and your family's well being is in my prayers.

EDIT: Well fuck me, did not see someone set up a donation box. While I know it's not a lot, I hope my small donation helps in the slightest, man.


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## davidengel (Dec 24, 2011)

Damn, sorry to hear about all of this shit that has happened to you. I don't post here often, nor have I personally talked to you, but I feel the pain you must have felt when you found out your guitars were taken  Punish him in any way you see necessary 

Also, take all the nice presents you got for him and distribute them to his siblings, make sure he knows they used to be for him.


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## jacksonslut (Dec 25, 2011)

I raged. hard. I congratulate you on not murdering your son. I'd be pissed beyond what I could imagine. I am sorry to hear this  and was it on reading road? place is scary. not to derail but driving through there once there was a house spray painted that said something about killing everyone  next to the cincinnati zoo.


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## jymellis (Dec 25, 2011)

jacksonslut said:


> I raged. hard. I congratulate you on not murdering your son. I'd be pissed beyond what I could imagine. I am sorry to hear this  and was it on reading road? place is scary. not to derail but driving through there once there was a house spray painted that said something about killing everyone  next to the cincinnati zoo.



it was 2 blocks from reading road. reading road is actually about 50 miles long, but i know the section your speaking of


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## jacksonslut (Dec 25, 2011)

jymellis said:


> it was 2 blocks from reading road. reading road is actually about 50 miles long, but i know the section your speaking of



yep one endless road. I've walked it from ky to westchester taking that road to my ex  in the winter. bad place. take care man. merry christmas by the way. as soon as I get paid I'll donate \m/


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## Ketzer (Dec 25, 2011)

I don't remember the earlier posts, but are you planning on asking your son why he stole the family van, as well as your guitars?


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## jymellis (Dec 26, 2011)

well, everyone had a great christmas \m/ we gave my son all his presents BUT his ipod touch and kindle 3g.we also made him help wrap all the presents and play "santa" with us. it was a very "loving" experience for all of us. i thank each of you for your suggestions. there is a great possibility without everyones point of views and suggestions that this wouldnt have ended up as well as it has. thank every one of you again.
and ketzer. he was running away is why he did it.


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## Ketzer (Dec 26, 2011)

Well, if that's all there is to it, i suppose it's better than stealing dad's guitars to go pawn them for coke money.


glad you guys had a good christmas .


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## jymellis (Dec 27, 2011)

well we were able to get a 2006 toyota sienne today \m/
if my donation/fund gets up enough im gonna buy a member of ss.orgs jem \m/
http://www.gofundme.com/bkhig


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## Church2224 (Dec 27, 2011)

jymellis said:


> well we were able to get a 2006 toyota sienne today \m/
> if my donation/fund gets up enough im gonna buy a member of ss.orgs jem \m/
> Reconciliation for a friend by Michael Herman - GoFundMe



Glad to hear it man!

I wish I could donate some money right now, I really do, but I got back from the bank the other day and I found out my financial situation was not what it seems. I hope my next paycheck will be able to help you out. 

But if you need anything Jym, I am willing to help out. There are some great people here who got your back, and this thread shows it.


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## MikeH (Dec 27, 2011)

We have $380 raised! Glad to see this from this community. This is why SSO is my favorite place to be. Let's see if we can get some more!


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## Konfyouzd (Dec 27, 2011)

Oh there'll be more... Wait til I get paid.


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## jymellis (Dec 31, 2011)

happy new years everyone \m/


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## dantel666 (Dec 31, 2011)

wow...just wow. Sorry to hear about this man. I have a hard time fathoming doing something like that, but I've never really done anything to terribly bad throughout my teenage years.

If I wasn't a broke college student I would donate some money to help you get a new guitar.

happy new year.

Hope everything works out and things get semi back to normal relatively soon.


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## jymellis (Jan 1, 2012)

mike h is closing the donations tomorrow. thanx a ton guys \m/


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## Chickenhawk (Jan 1, 2012)

MikeH said:


> We have $380 raised!



Correction: $480.


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## MikeH (Jan 2, 2012)

I'll be closing the donation tonight. If anyone has some money that they would like to donate, please do so before midnight EST. Any money helps. Thanks, guys!


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## jymellis (Jan 2, 2012)

holy shiiit,chris


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## MitchellJBurgess (Jan 3, 2012)

My serious advice. 
Buy him a puppy, and watch him, untill he loves it more than his own life.
Then just, take it. and keep it for him to never see again.

Good good? =DD


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## leandroab (Jan 3, 2012)

MitchellJBurgess said:


> My serious advice.
> Buy him a puppy, and watch him, untill he loves it more than his own life.
> Then just, take it. and keep it for him to never see again.
> 
> Good good? =DD



Retarded as all fuck IMO...

So, how's everything jym?


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## MitchellJBurgess (Jan 4, 2012)

I'm only jooking,

But seriously man, that sucks, and I hope everything is all good!


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## Fiction (Jan 4, 2012)

MitchellJBurgess said:


> My serious advice.





MitchellJBurgess said:


> I'm only jooking



Don't you lie to me, boy. 





Jym! I'm glad the folks from SSO have helped lift your spirits and make the whole situation a little easier.


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## flint757 (Jan 4, 2012)

Just saw this today and read through it so I missed the donation deadline otherwise I'd donate a few bucks (not a lot in college and jobless, but something) Anyhow hope everything is going good for you and your family. I have 4 sisters who fucked up there lives and honestly have yet to recover. That was from my dad giving up on them (they pushed and he said fine go basically) so if I can give you any advice at all don't make him think you don't care about him it's the worst mistake you'll ever make.

You'd be surprised that most kids subliminally like discipline. It makes them feel like you care. All that being said it sounds like you've got the tools to handle it and have the utmost faith that you'll not only be able to recover from this, but your kid will eventually turn a new leaf. 

Also, I think the person who was asking the why earlier was asking why did he want to run away.


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## ghostred7 (Jan 4, 2012)

I'm late to the thread since I was away for a while.....

Fuck, dude. I'm sorry to hear you went through this. 

I have a son that'll be 15 in March. I can't fathom my reaction should he do this to me.

I'm very happy the community came through in the ways they've done. I think your including him during Xmas was pure gold. It gives him a sense that you still care for him, even though he fucked up. 

I recommend family counseling as well as individual counseling. He wanted to run away, that in itself warrants counseling IMO. Now there's an additional trauma/atmosphere to be addressed due to the results of that day. Forcing him to go to a special school (i.e. military, troubled youth camps, etc) should be a last resort. Finding out where he emotionally stands is more important that punishment at this point in time. There's even chances that somewhere in his psyche that he's punishing himself as well. All it takes is a slight regret to turn into self-loathing over the situation. All the more reason that I think counseling should be paramount.

Hope it all works out for ya, bro.


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## MikeH (Jan 4, 2012)

The donation has been closed. We raised a total of $480! I love you all.  I'm sure Jym does as well.


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## Nonservium (Jan 5, 2012)

I gotta say man, you have had a seriously good-natured response to your kids behavior. I'm really impressed and wish more people were as level headed as you. If I had a kid and they had pulled this stunt they'd be doing something along the lines of this for as long as I could legally get away with it or until they understood what is best in life:


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## Jakke (Jan 5, 2012)

Jym, sorry I got into this mess so late, but I have been without reliable internet for about two weeks, I beat myself up still that I was unable to donate

When I read your status on facebook, I got such a chill inside of me. I know how much my guitars means to me, and that your son would do something like that must be absolutely heart-wrenching...

However, I looked it up, and the French Foreign Legion only accepts volunteers, you might have trouble "volounteering him"

I am so happy though that you two are working on it, and what you feel must be nothing to what goes on inside of him right now. I hope, and suspect he will emerge a stronger and better person from it.


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## Skin Coffin (Jan 5, 2012)

hey Jym, I know we barely know each other but after witnessing the phenomenal reputation you have on this forum and after reading that story I couldn't be more touched. What happened was terrible, but, despite of what people say, Internet isn't a bad thing, you just need to know where to search for help. This forum, with the excellent idea of the donations, has just proved, once again that there is kindness on people after all, even on the Internet. I really wished I could have donated something but since I'm only 17 and not working (studying) all I have are my little savings. Either way, I just want to tell you that no matter what, there is still plenty to hang on. Life is indeed a beautiful thing, and even though it sounds _cliché_, I believe it's true, and this forum has proven that with an enormous gesture. It's also kinda weird to hear "advice" from a 17 year old, but I really want to say this to you  

So, that's it.. I just want to wish the best of luck for you and your family and praise the entire ss.org community for what they've done.

Cheers, bro!

- Guilherme Santos


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