# Epic Baby Names



## JPhoenix19 (Jun 9, 2012)

So my wife is 18 weeks pregnant, and we're in dialogue about names.

Render unto me your most epic names, boy or girl.


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## HeHasTheJazzHands (Jun 9, 2012)

Misha Merrow Englund.


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## Waelstrum (Jun 9, 2012)




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## JeffFromMtl (Jun 9, 2012)

My cousin threatened to name his son "Dirtbike Wrestlemania Skitt", Skitt being his last name. His reasoning was because he needed to own a dirt bike, so fearing his threats were legitimate, his wife let him buy a dirt bike, and named the kid Ryland.

He broke his collar bone on the dirt bike and sold it a few months later. This was followed by a million "I told you so"'s. Now he's left without a dirt bike and a son with a normal name.


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## Jakke (Jun 9, 2012)

First, congratulations. It's really something big that's happening

Second, I would pick something strong and scandinavian (we draw our power from our names), for example.
Boys:
Eric (or the real spelling, Erik)
Gustav
Fredrik
Peter (or Petter)
Viktor (which incidently in the original meaning means victor, fancy that)
Tor (not Thor, unless you are an idiot, in that case feel free)
Jakob (yours truly)
Filip
Johan

Girls:
Emma
Sandra
Erika
Lisa
Sara (which admittedly is hebrew in that spelling)
Malin
Johanna

Otherwise I'd look in the bible, I may not believe in it, but the names are usually good to salvage. I would stay clear of Moses, Seth and Cain though. Just a friendly heads-up.


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## bandinaboy (Jun 9, 2012)

Hudson Abideer


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## GuitaristOfHell (Jun 9, 2012)

First off Congrats!
You could do what my dad did, what his dad did, and what his dad did. Name him after you 

I'm Louis IV. Start a legacy


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## Stealthdjentstic (Jun 9, 2012)

Name him Bendjamen. Or Djan if its a girl or Djames or djake or djacob.


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## fwd0120 (Jun 9, 2012)

HeHasTheJazzHands said:


> Misha Merrow Englund.



Thread-winning post, bro. 

@ the OP - Congrats!

EDIT:....



GuitaristOfHell said:


> First off Congrats!
> You could do what my dad did, what his dad did, and what his dad did. Name him after you
> 
> I'm Louis IV. Start a legacy



I've got you beat.... I'm a V. Maybe a VI if you count "Franz" as Frank.


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## Chickenhawk (Jun 9, 2012)

Humboldt.


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## Hollowway (Jun 9, 2012)

What's your ethnicity? I think the coolest names are those directly from whatever your heritage is.


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## MFB (Jun 9, 2012)

Stealthdjentstic said:


> Name him Bendjamen. Or Djan if its a girl or Djames or djake or djacob.



We already get enough "Ben jammin" or "Been jammin huh?!" jokes, so don't try and give us any more shitty puns


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## nostealbucket (Jun 9, 2012)

You can never go wrong with Moon Unit, Tony Danza, Super Fly, Puma, or Scooter.
In fact, my uncle's name is Scooter. You could just imagine the terrible time he had in high school... oh wait.. He didn't go to high school...


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## Cynic (Jun 9, 2012)

Lee Harvey Oswald


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## Genome (Jun 9, 2012)

Call him Mark and make his middle name IIc+


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## skeels (Jun 9, 2012)

Stealthdjentstic said:


> Name him Bendjamen. Or Djan if its a girl or Djames or djake or djacob.



Djentifer?

Ok no, seriously - congrats!
My advice - pick a name that your child can grow into.
One with meaning, power and purpose.
If you ARE Scandinavian, by chance, I always thought Freya was great for a girl.

Literary names are good, too. Wanted to name my youngest Eowyn, but we went with Nova. Was also partial to Aurora.

Knowing what you are in store for, I wish you the best of luck.
Be strong, my man, be strong ...


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## morrowcosom (Jun 9, 2012)

Rolf Fremming Bories 

Elden Cagey Laessig 

Shon Iseman Dejager 


My own son's name is Waylor Gaznes McCarvill


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## Bekanor (Jun 10, 2012)

Jaqen for a boy.

Jaz or Melinda for a girl.


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## BlackMastodon (Jun 10, 2012)

Congrats man! 

I was gonna say Ziltoid for the lolz but then I read Bekanor's post and I think that Jaqen is an incredibly badass name for a boy. He would have no choice but to be as badass as the character from Game of Thrones.


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## Bekanor (Jun 10, 2012)

BlackMastodon said:


> Congrats man!
> 
> I was gonna say Ziltoid for the lolz but then I read Bekanor's post and I think that Jaqen is an incredibly badass name for a boy. He would have no choice but to be as badass as the character from Game of Thrones.



"A man wants pizza for dinner, Dad".


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## Solodini (Jun 10, 2012)

Aladeen Motherfucker [Surname].


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## Nyx Erebos (Jun 10, 2012)

Congrats man ! I like Sylvan for a boy and Liliana for a girl. If you want particularly epic names you should consider those with three syllables or more.


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## CyborgSlunk (Jun 10, 2012)

Jakke said:


> Filip



Yay, that´s me!

I find Mordecai a fuckin badass name .


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## soliloquy (Jun 10, 2012)

rasputin for boys


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## Tiger (Jun 10, 2012)

My daughters name is Izabelle Eastwood, due in August. If she had been a boy she was going to be Maximus Eastwood.


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## SenorDingDong (Jun 10, 2012)

Revilo.


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## Marv Attaxx (Jun 10, 2012)

middlename should be "wait for it!"


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## Zugster (Jun 10, 2012)

Victor
Walter
Leonard

Emily
Kimesha
Rachel


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## soliloquy (Jun 10, 2012)

for a girl, its not freaky, but i always thought these were beautiful names. and if i wasn't muslim, i'd totally name my girls this if i had any:
Guinevere 
ophelia 
Lorelei


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## Necris (Jun 10, 2012)

The Beardhammer, regardless of sex or gender.


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## rgaRyan (Jun 10, 2012)

C'mon guys, be serious. He's looking for serious, epic baby names, this is a huge decision.

Dixie Normus


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## mniel8195 (Jun 10, 2012)

i was thinking of naming my son gaius baltar ______ insert last name.


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## flexkill (Jun 10, 2012)

General Zot, or if that's to much...then Dan....


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## makeitreign (Jun 10, 2012)

Clan WOULD be a really cool name.
Just don't spell it with a K.


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## Chiba666 (Jun 10, 2012)

Congrats.

Going through this myself at the moment with the wife. It's not easy


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## sage (Jun 10, 2012)

My 2 kids are Haida Storm and Quaid Chaos. I fully endorse the use of Chaos as a middle name. Names that hit the waste basket, but might be useful for you:

Hraefen (or just plain old Raven, but mrs. sage is Scottish, so...)
Justice
Findlay (uh, no.. not Findlay, might as well name him Sheldon... WTF?)
Indica (isn't that a strain of ganja? why not just name her Mary Jane? Or Chronic? mrs. sage... she's a wild one)
India (except Sarah McLachlan beat us to it... this one time I ran a half marathon and Sarah and I were waiting in line at the Wreck Beach shitters... didn't fully drain before the run started, rookie mistake, but I digress...)
Hawking

I'll allow you to use Sage, but only in the event that the child is a boy. Sage is not a girl's name. It means "wise, bearded man". Why would you want to name a girl that?


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## TheStockholmChainsaw (Jun 10, 2012)

girl=Aridane 

boy=Levi


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## JamesM (Jun 10, 2012)

Cunt-destroyer.


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## AliceLG (Jun 10, 2012)

Marvin Wait-For-It Erikssen!!!!!!!!!

Or seriously, just name him/her after you


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## Murmel (Jun 10, 2012)

Ever since I started remotely caring for names and which ones I find nice or not, I've thought that Lovisa is one of the most beautiful female names for some reason. And I've never in my life met or seen a girl that wasn't gorgeous named Lovisa, I think there's something to that name  Linnéa is another one of my Swedish favourites for girls.
It's kinda like Louise, you just add the A at the end and make it sound more like a V and not OU (NOT a W, a *V*, extremely important). Even Wikipedia says it's a Swedified form of Louise 

I'm generally not a fan of male Swedish names, like Johan, Fredrik, Karl etc. Jakob is nice though.

Izabelle was also a nice suggestion.

Edit: I'll just make a wee little list of female names I find sweet. I suck at male names.

Lovisa
Linnéa
Izabelle
Dasha
Emelie


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## Jakke (Jun 10, 2012)

^Lovisa is a good name, and I agree, I think I have only encountered beautiful women with that name...


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## BucketheadRules (Jun 10, 2012)

Alan.

After Alan Partridge, natch.

If you're after a properly serious suggestion from me... well, I mean... I'm a 17 year old kid who has been let loose on an internet, if you ask me to suggest baby names I'm only realistically going to come up with stupid shit, aren't I?


Or just Connor, after me. Who wouldn't want their baby named after such a fine specimen of a human being as I?


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## Jordan Djenital Warts (Jun 10, 2012)

Moonchild?


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## kamello (Jun 10, 2012)

Borat if he is a boy


Borata for a girl 





Mark is a good option too, but make sure his son is called Mark ll and so on







edit: I just re-read the topic name, Epic you said? name him Larry.


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## simulclass83 (Jun 10, 2012)

Svensson


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## Jakke (Jun 10, 2012)

simulclass83 said:


> Svensson



Please don't cheapen my heritage, my people and my ancestors! It's a last name, not a first name





Could be a cool first name, wouldn't fly here, but could do it in the US


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## Blind Theory (Jun 11, 2012)

Name him (since it has to be man!) after someone of historical fame. That way he will HAVE to grow up to be someone awesome. 

George
Abraham
Samuel (my name, I highly endorse it)
John
Ronald
Theodore
Ulysses
Attila
Napoleon
Zeus
Hercules
Dave Mustaine


Or, give him a name that has a certain feeling of badassery to it:

General
Admiral
IFuckBitches
Missile
King
Ruler
YourGod
BowDown
Destroyer

Or maybe a name that shows he is cool and relaxed:

Cruiser
Chillup
It'sAllGoodMan

Maybe something odd like a celebrity:

Banana
Cactus Fuck
Diaper
Flax
Better Digestion
Activia
Aderol
Cotton
Cashmere
Willow Tree
Rose Bush

Or maybe something TOTALLY RAD DUDE!!

Ripper
Thrasher
Killer
WAHOOO!
Kowabunga
Whoa!
Crazy


If you need anymore suggestions for future children just let me know.


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## Waelstrum (Jun 11, 2012)

I found out that my Dad had jokingly thought of the following potential names for me:

The name of the most recent gold medal winner (I was born during the Barcelona Olympics)

Barcelona (same reason)

Hezbollah (not for any political reason, he just thought it sounded like a cartoonish exclamation that might be said in a Mediterranean language)

I very glad that I have a sensible name.


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## Severance (Jun 11, 2012)

Flygroth the Impaler


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## ZEBOV (Jun 11, 2012)

soliloquy said:


> for a girl, its not freaky, but i always thought these were beautiful names. and if i wasn't muslim, i'd totally name my girls this if i had any:
> Guinevere
> ophelia
> Lorelei



The name Ophelia ALWAYS reminds me of ex-Tennessee-senator Ophelia Ford. Notice I didn't type "former senator." She was fired. I have had the dishonor of meeting her. Biggest dumbass on earth. No joke! The rest of her family is equally worthless.
Don't name her Ophelia. Really......... don't.

When she was fired, she was calling the senate "the house" when she was saying her last words to them.... so she didn't even know who she was talking to.... and she was telling them that she had been done wrong by being fired.... for repeatedly being extremely drunk in public. The final straw was falling off a bar stool in a Nashville hotel bar.











As for my ideas, I think Leah is a beautiful name for a girl. As for guys, I don't know.


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## ZEBOV (Jun 11, 2012)

OK, here's some advice on boys' names.


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## Underworld (Jun 11, 2012)

Lysann is pretty badass for a girl (that's my sister's name!) or Melisandre.

As for boys, Maximilian.


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## All_¥our_Bass (Jun 11, 2012)

Englebert Humperdink
Optimus Prime


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