# REALLY stupid and illogical things you thought when you were younger.



## morrowcosom (May 21, 2012)

When I was 4, I thought that an Octopus named "Ursula" lived under a tree in my back yard and I would spend hours talking to it. 

I use to think that a man with horns growing out of his eyesockets was running around my backyard at night waiting to get me. 

I was also scared that when I was taking a crap, a snake or shark would come out of the toilet drain and bite my ass. 

I was also scared that if I pissed in a urinal with the lights off, a snake would bite my nuts. 

I was scared that if I closed my eyes too long in the shower, something would reach in and grab me. 

When I had to go out to the dogpen at night and feed the dog, I did it as fast as possible and ran back to the house because I thought I was going to get attacked by a Chupacabra. Thanks Unsolved Mysteries.

I used to believe that all objects, even inanimate ones had feelings. I used to go to the grocery store and feel sad whenever I left without some stickers because the stickers would feel sad as a result of being left behind. 

Last, but not least, after watching Dragonball Z during the Frieza saga, I thought that if I worked myself up hard enough, summoned "the hidden energy" within me, and strained and yelled hard enough, that I could transform. This resulted in many ruined pairs of underwear. Thanks Goku.


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## broj15 (May 21, 2012)

When I was 6 my parents told me not to stick my tongue out at people or else The Tongue Man would come to my room at night, cut out my tongue, and keep it in a little box. Yeah my childhood was interesting to say the least.


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## Explorer (May 21, 2012)

I had a recurring nightmare, which actually started with a good dream.

I had seen a movie where the opening film company credit had a harlequin somersault onto the screen. In the first dream, it was my friend.

In a later dream though, I was playing in the closet with the harlequin, and it stood up, stamped its foot (I know, how bizarre is that?) in anger and shouted, You ate peanut butter! it disappeared into a corner of the closet behind something which was hanging down. When I moved the clothing, it was completely gone.

The next dream had it grabbing my friend Carrie and dragging her under the bed, disappearing completely before I could pull back the bedsheets hanging down.

And, from then on, I knew the harlequins lived in the spaces we can't see, and can open doors when you're not able to see the surface which is out of sight. That meant that if you sat on the toilet, it could open a door in the wall behind you under the tank, or in the bathtub in front of you just under the edge of the tub.

My parents tried to show me there was nothing there, but I already knew there wasn't. They had opened a door and slipped away before we looked.


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## liamh (May 21, 2012)

I thought that when you press the buttons of traffic lights to cross it turned the cars off so you could walk


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## Stealthdjentstic (May 21, 2012)

I thought my mom and grandparents were allergic to meat, so thats why they never ate it


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## marked (May 21, 2012)

morrowcosom said:


> Last, but not least, after watching Dragonball Z during the Frieza saga, I thought that if I worked myself up hard enough, summoned "the hidden energy" within me, and strained and yelled hard enough, that I could transform. This resulted in many ruined pairs of underwear. Thanks Goku.



alll the time

i used to turn all the lights on to go everywhere during the day, that way if all the lights are on, no darkness and no monster could get me, mum got real mad


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## liamh (May 21, 2012)

morrowcosom said:


> Last, but not least, after watching Dragonball Z during the Frieza saga, I thought that if I worked myself up hard enough, summoned "the hidden energy" within me, and strained and yelled hard enough, that I could transform. This resulted in many ruined pairs of underwear. Thanks Goku.



Missed this. 
Once I was talking to this kid at swimming lessons who fully convinced me that that shit was real. He was teaching me how to summon the energies and all that stuff. I revered him as this master warrior from that point on haha


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## Don Vito (May 21, 2012)

Lol you guys never reached your hidden power??


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## Fiction (May 21, 2012)

The sound of the bath emptying was the the largest monster suckin' up all your bath water and trying to get you.




.. I still don't have baths.


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## Don Vito (May 21, 2012)

kennedyblake said:


> Lol you guys never reached your hidden power??


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## Garrett (May 21, 2012)

Until I was 7 I believed that if you press your belly button, your legs would fall off. I never touched my belly button until 1st grade.


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## SenorDingDong (May 21, 2012)

When I was five, I used to believe that there was a man in the sky who looked down on the world and judged us for our actions, deciding whether or not we would be worthy to join him in his cloud palace after we die.






















But seriously, when I was eight, I used to think that if your belly button came untied (I didn't know it was a scar) all your insides would fall out.


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## JamesM (May 21, 2012)

I believed in Santa and the Easter Bunny.


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## vampiregenocide (May 21, 2012)

I used to think that there was an evil version of me living in our loft, and that he wanted to kill me because he was jealous of the normal life I had.


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## Ocara-Jacob (May 21, 2012)

I used to think that a monster stood in the eastern corner of my room when I turned the lights off. Once, I had a dream that it was actually there. That scared the crap out of me. NOT literally, but yknow.


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## GhostsofAcid (May 21, 2012)

I thought the US had two states, named "Arkansas" and " Arkansaw"


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## Edika (May 21, 2012)

When I was 4 or 5 I asked my sister how were people from the inside (she was 9-10 and she told me about the human skeleton and then started telling me about ghosts and skeletons coming in the night (she was afraid of the dark and managed to pass me her phobia). So afterwards I was pretty scared of the dark and all the weird noises.
I used to think covering my self with the blanket will protect me and I always faced the when sleeping (one side of my bed touched the wall of my room) in order not to see anything coming at me which miraculously will also keep me safe.
Afterwards and I until I was quite older I couldn't see horror, sci-fi or a combination of both since I was very influenced by the movies. It didn't make sense, by then I knew it didn't make sense but I couldn't watching these movies. Strange thing is though I never had nightmares or if I did they weren't often or that scary that I would remember them.


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## Betterlaidplans (May 21, 2012)

morrowcosom said:


> ...
> I was also scared that when I was taking a crap, a snake or shark would come out of the toilet drain and bite my ass.



I had a similar fear as a kid but mine came from an episode of x-files combined with a news report about a guy getting bit on the nuts by a snake while dropping a D in Australia. Subsequently, my terror of the toilet taught me the skill of dropping one in about 30 seconds 

I also was freaked out by the "step on a crack and break your mother's back" thing. My lovely imagination added to that the idea that if I stepped on the cracks the devil would be able to grab my feet and pull me to hell. I'm going to go ahead and blame that one on going to catholic school for 13 years. But I kind of made it into a game like "lava floor" so it wasn't that scary just more like an odd compulsion to avoid cracks haha.

Like most kids I was afraid of things under the bed getting me and that the blanket could protect me from anything, even aliens trying to abduct me.


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## brick (May 21, 2012)

I thought that the blinkers on cars told you where to turn, kind of like gps haha


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## Powermetalbass (May 21, 2012)

I used to believe dead people could come back to life and eat my brains. Then I realized that zombies are a religous phenomenon and that religion is just silly!


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## brynotherhino (May 21, 2012)

I was certain that there were wolves that lived in my parents closet and if I didnt run up the stairs into my room they would eat me to death.


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## highlordmugfug (May 21, 2012)

Thread title should be changed to "Scary shit you thought when you were younger"


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## wayward (May 21, 2012)

Explorer said:


> I had a recurring nightmare, which actually started with a good dream.
> 
> I had seen a movie where the opening film company credit had a harlequin somersault onto the screen. In the first dream, it was my friend.
> 
> ...




That is completely terrifying in my eyes. 


I don't think I ever had any illogical things I thought about that really stuck out or happened regularly. Probably that (and this is because I live in the rural country right outside the city) since I was a lot younger I always thought in the dark, people were looking at me through my windows; And when I would walk through the house at night (getting a snack/going to the bathroom, etc.) I would be terrified by looking at the dark windows because I thought somebody was right on the other side looking at me, and I couldn't see them.

I still have a problem with looking out dark windows at night. Especially at my drummer's house, because he finds that window blinds, curtains, and shades are pointless...


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## Pooluke41 (May 21, 2012)

When I was about 6 or 7, I used to think that the grim reaper would come into my room at night and sit on my bed.

So I slept under my covers.


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## SkapocalypseNow (May 21, 2012)

I was scared into believing that every time I did something bad and my dad started counting, The Man would come and punish me in some unknown but inevitably horrible fashion.


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## Church2224 (May 21, 2012)

I thought "Rated R" was actually a series of movie titles. I thought "There sure are a lot of movies called Rated R! I need to go see them!"

I thought mom's became pregnant because parents just spent time together. Then I found out about sex. 

I thought my family spoke a different language when I was not around. 

My family only drove Ford trucks and suvs, so I thought they were the only people who made vehicles. And when my dad wanted to get a Dodge truck I was like "But only Ford makes cars!"

I thought the "Craftsman" logo on our old lawnmower actually said "lawnmower." Because you got to tell people exactly what that product is. When I was 3 years old I argued that with my dad to the death. Then I thought only Craftsman and John Deere made mowers. Because that was all we owned. 

I thought our old dog Ashby (R.I.P. baby girl) was actually a boxer because that was the only dog breed name I could remember. She was really a Pomeranian. 

I thought the entire world was just the D.C. Area. 

I thought that every stayed the way they are forever. For examples I thought I was going to be a kid forever.


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## The Uncreator (May 21, 2012)

I used to think that when I went to bed and turned the lights off that there was a man in a suit and fidora just standing in the corner staring at me, waiting to kidnap and kill me. I always thought I could see the faint outline of the tie against the white undershirt, scared the piss out of me.

I also thought the only reason he didn't was because my German Shepard and my Bengal mix cat sat at the end of my bend, protecting me from him and the man who kills people with knife sand (reoccuring nightmare about an albino man who killed my family by dropping knives the size of sand grains down their eyesockets and throat).

I miss my Dog Keisha, and my cat Zipper.

On a happier note, I don't remember this too well but my mother told me that I used to always try and get out in the backyard, but Keisha would carry me in by my shorts (she was trained to watch me and my sister), and I thought she kept doing it because whenever my parents let her out back (to use the bathroom) I thought she went treasure hunting and she didnt want me to take her mountains of loot lol


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## SenorDingDong (May 21, 2012)

highlordmugfug said:


> Thread title should be changed to "Scary shit you thought when you were younger"



Or: 



Your Disturbing Childhood: What in Your Past Fucked You Up Permanently.


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## ElRay (May 21, 2012)

When I asked my my aunt and uncle don't have kids, my Mom told me that they didn't do something when they got married, so that's why they don't have kids. For years, every wedding ceremony I saw, I studied to figure out what could be left-out or added to make you have kids.

Ray


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## ElRay (May 21, 2012)

SenorDingDong said:


> Or:
> 
> 
> 
> Your Disturbing Childhood: What in Your Past Fucked You Up Permanently.


Or: 



Untruths your parents told you to avoid going into the details that warped your way of thinking for years.


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## Winspear (May 21, 2012)

ElRay said:


> When I asked my my aunt and uncle don't have kids, my Mom told me that they didn't do something when they got married, so that's why they don't have kids. For years, every wedding ceremony I saw, I studied to figure out what could be left-out or added to make you have kids.
> 
> Ray





I remember giving flying lessons when I started school. Coaching students to flap their wings and jump off of benches, and telling them they weren't focusing properly when it wasn't working  I don't recall feeling like a cheat at the time, so I guess I actually believed myself. 

Because my parents are older and I never experienced them working, I thought that normal people didn't have jobs. We recall me telling them "When I grow up, I don't want a job. I want to be normal like you"
If only


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## Randy (May 21, 2012)

Women shit babies, women had retractable penises and men have periods.


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## BlackMastodon (May 21, 2012)

When I was very young me and my brother used to always have our action figures (mostly Star Wars) on shelves and my brother convinced me that when we go to sleep at night they come to life and do their own thing. He really sold me on it by waiting 'til I fell asleep one night and putting Chewbacca into a sitting position from his standing position and moving some other toys around. It's funny though because I didn't find it scary, just really goddamn cool.


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## SenorDingDong (May 21, 2012)

Randy said:


> Women shit babies, women had retractable penises and men have periods.


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## leftyguitarjoe (May 21, 2012)

I thought I could actually burp loud eough to break all the windows in my our house.


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## Captain Shoggoth (May 21, 2012)

Randy said:


> Women shit babies



THIS THIS THIS



wayward said:


> I still have a problem with looking out dark windows at night. Especially at my drummer's house, because he finds that window blinds, curtains, and shades are pointless...



I'm the same dude, but to me it's more worrying if I DO see something


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## xXxPriestessxXx (May 21, 2012)

I went through a phase when I thought it was actually possible to become a mermaid (like Aeriel), so I spent large amounts of time in the pool trying to make this happen.


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## AxeHappy (May 21, 2012)

I used to think that getting grades in school and working hard would make you have a happy, successful life...


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## Razzy (May 21, 2012)

AxeHappy said:


> I used to think that getting grades in school and working hard would make you have a happy successful for life...



Ouch, my life.


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## isispelican (May 21, 2012)

I used to think that if necessary, anyone could destroy the entire earth (or any planet) with his bare hands. Yeah I watched a lot of DragonBall. (and still do! XD)


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## Stealthdjentstic (May 21, 2012)

AxeHappy said:


> I used to think that getting grades in school and working hard would make you have a happy successful for life...



And doing poorly at school, not working at all would also lead you to a happy successful life?


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## ZXIIIT (May 21, 2012)

I thought Jaws lived in every body of water deeper than 5 feet (I still do, #ScarredForLife)
I could walk on thin air if I didn't look down.


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## AxeHappy (May 21, 2012)

Stealthdjentstic said:


> And doing poorly at school, not working at all would also lead you to a happy successful life?




Nope, but completely irrelevant to the topic at hand or my point!


And oddly enough, it does seem to work for seem people.


The bastards.


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## wayward (May 21, 2012)

Captain Shoggoth said:


> I'm the same dude, but to me it's more worrying if I DO see something



Yeah, I'd flip if I actually saw somebody staring at me through a window at night. But the weird thing is, I'm terrified of looking out dark windows at night because I think someone is staring at me, but I'm not at all afraid of the dark, or walking around outside at night. Hell, me and my bandmates go camping at night all the time.


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## JosephAOI (May 21, 2012)

When I was in Kindergarten and my mom talked about me going into 1st grade, I was terrified because I thought she was saying "gray" and that there would be no color after Kindergarten, only gray.

Me and my best friend were convinced Pokemon were real at one point.


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## leftyguitarjoe (May 21, 2012)

JosephAOI said:


> Me and my best friend were convinced Pokemon were real at one point.




Guilty.


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## beneharris (May 21, 2012)

I used to be worried that I would be using the toilet and my house would blow up like the death star. I always pictured grand moff tarkin and how he didn't expect to get blown up.


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## Captain Shoggoth (May 21, 2012)

wayward said:


> Yeah, I'd flip if I actually saw somebody staring at me through a window at night. But the weird thing is, I'm terrified of looking out dark windows at night because I think someone is staring at me, but I'm not at all afraid of the dark, or walking around outside at night. Hell, me and my bandmates go camping at night all the time.



I'm the same. I always prefer to sleep in pitch black because if a part of the room is lit, or I can see stuff, then I might see.... _stuff _


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## Winspear (May 21, 2012)

Captain Shoggoth said:


> I'm the same. I always prefer to sleep in pitch black because if a part of the room is lit, or I can see stuff, then I might see.... _stuff _



Absolutely haha. I imagine stuff way too easily if the room is lit. I also have to avoid looking at the foot of my bed, because if I do I imagine the scene from E.T where he is waddling towards the end of the bed with the sweets


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## JStraitiff (May 21, 2012)

morrowcosom said:


> I was also scared that when I was taking a crap, a snake or shark would come out of the toilet drain and bite my ass.
> 
> Last, but not least, after watching Dragonball Z during the Frieza saga, I thought that if I worked myself up hard enough, summoned "the hidden energy" within me, and strained and yelled hard enough, that I could transform. This resulted in many ruined pairs of underwear. Thanks Goku.



I did that too but i thought it was going to plunge itself into my ass or something terrible like that.

I still like to pretend i can summon the energy to do dragonball z stuff lmao. Fantasy makes life more bearable 

When i was a kid i saw an episode of the X files where scully got some kind of bug implanted under her skin through a hole in her back. That freaked me the fuck out.

I saw the grudge where a monster came up through the bed under the covers and sucked the girl into some other dimension. I wouldnt sleep on my back for months lol.

There was this disney movie about the boogie man and it pulled the kid under the bed when he had his feet dangling there so i wouldnt let my feet hang over the edge of the bed. Sometimes to be safe i would jump off the bed to a safe distance and then walk away.

I actually still kinda freak out sometimes and just run all over the house in terror imagining something is gonna get me hahaha. I have to run from wall to wall with my back against the wall and then when i get to my room turn all the lights on and run straight to my bed and then im good. 

Sometimes im afraid to look out dark windows because im afraid someone or something will be standing there staring back at me.

lots of other things i cant think of right now...


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## BlackMastodon (May 21, 2012)

Ever since I saw Paranormal Activity I can't sleep with my feet hanging out of my covers, even though I know it's stupid since the ghost/demon went under the sheets to grab the lady's leg. Still just bugs me.


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## ZEBOV (May 22, 2012)

Thanks to the movie Junior with Arnold Schwarzenegger, I used to think babies came out of the belly button.

EDIT: After watching Independence Day and being the big Star Wars fan that I am, I couldn't wait until Independence Day 2 with Star Wars vehicles in it, from TIE fighters and Imperial Star Destroyers to X-wings and Republic Star Cruisers, and the Death Star too.


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## Jake (May 22, 2012)

JosephAOI said:


> Me and my best friend were convinced Pokemon were real at one point.


you mean to tell me pokemon aren't real ......


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## Cabinet (May 22, 2012)

I used to think I could wiggle passed the creases in my belly button and touch my organs
I thought that bugs had gotten under my skin whenever a limb fell asleep (after watching The Mummy)
I stopped believing in Barney when I saw my dad's feet in a Barney costume on my birthday and called him out on it. So many angry children eating my Millenium Falcon cake.


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## Swyse (May 22, 2012)

I like this thread.
I thought the letters lmno were all one letter that was pronounced elemeno whilst learning my abcs.


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## Genome (May 22, 2012)

liamh said:


> I thought that when you press the buttons of traffic lights to cross it turned the cars off so you could walk



That's adorable!


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## Don Vito (May 22, 2012)

Cabinet said:


> I stopped believing in Barney when I saw my dad's feet in a Barney costume on my birthday and called him out on it. So many angry children eating my Millenium Falcon cake.




I too had Barney at one of my birthday parties.
























It was the real Barney though.


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## BlackMastodon (May 22, 2012)

That scene from The Mummy freaked my right the hell out, Cabinet.

And you guys are all stupid, you clearly haven't looked hard enough to find your Pokemon.
Caught this little bastard the other day:


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## All_¥our_Bass (May 22, 2012)

I believed in Santa till fifth grade. When my folks told me, I was pissed.
I used to believe magicians did REAL magic.


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## caskettheclown (May 22, 2012)

I wanted to believe pokemon was real so very badly, I knew they weren't but I wanted to so bad. My friend did actually believe it though.


I was scared of the vaccuum and the lawnmower as well. I would hide under my blankets and stuff. I was scared of them because I always heard my mom and dad argue a lot and it fucked me up emotionally so loud noises like that scared me.

When we first got a trampoline I though I would fall through instead of bounce. I wasn't a fat kid or anything, I was skinny but I was scared of everything thanks to my emotional issues.


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## rectifryer (May 22, 2012)

I believed in WCW and Jesus :'( (no offense to christians, just MY personal reasons to believe in sting was just due to naivity, I mean, is there really just one guy who can save all of us?)


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## JP Universe (May 22, 2012)

I thought that transformers were real..... I remember balling my eyes out when Optimus Prime died in the Movie (I still feel uncomfortable watching him die, it gives me a really bad feeling)

My bitch of a sister wrote this note in computer like writing saying it was Bumblebee and that he wanted to meet me for an important mission  hence to say she got me really good but she was punished by my parents haha

Also my mum just loves bringing up the fact that when she bought me my Superman costume I jumped off the tanks and was crying and she said 'what's wrong???'

'Mummmm I can't Flyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!'


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## Don Vito (May 22, 2012)

JP Universe said:


> I thought that transformers were real..... I remember balling my eyes out when Optimus Prime died in the Movie (I still feel uncomfortable watching him die, it gives me a really bad feeling)
> 
> My bitch of a sister wrote this note in computer like writing saying it was Bumblebee and that he wanted to meet me for an important mission  hence to say she got me really good but she was punished by my parents haha
> 
> ...



Damn dude I wish I had just half of your imagination.


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## nostealbucket (May 22, 2012)

I used to think there was a kid who lived in the woods that went to the same school as me. I thought he failed every graded assignment in order to fulfill the police's secret plot against me.

Along with this, I thought policemen were cyborgs and punished people who didn't sleep at night.

I also thought every time I turned the bathtub on, microscopic sharks would be in the water, and if I wasn't careful, the micro sharks would form into 1 big shark and of course...... bite my ass.

I thought there was a man who lived in my closet called "The Rice Man". I thought that if I didn't eat, he would put rice in my ear.

I thought I was cool.

I was convinced that my teachers were robot overlords because of something my friend told me.


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## HaMMerHeD (May 22, 2012)

I believed in God, love, and happiness.

I was pretty stupid on all counts.


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## ZEBOV (May 22, 2012)

When I was a kid, I wanted to be a Jedi Knight when I grew up.


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## JStraitiff (May 22, 2012)

Swyse said:


> I like this thread.
> I thought the letters lmno were all one letter that was pronounced elemeno whilst learning my abcs.



Omg i did that too. Similarly i thought volley ball was actually "Balley Ball"


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## DevinShidaker (May 23, 2012)

Jason Voorhees had a trap door under my bed (that I couldn't see) that he could use to access my room at any given time.

There's a man in the trunk of your car that plays all of the music you hear through the speakers of your car stereo. 

My Teddy bear can stop any and all intruders (I'm 24 and I still sleep with him, blow me)

Forrest Gump was a real person.

If you try to look out your bedroom window after bed time, you're probably going to see Michael Meyers across the street, staring at you, until you look away, then he will vanish.

If you could see a ladder through a grated sewer lid, that was one of the entrances to the Ninja Turtles lair.

If you die in a dream, you die for real.

I tried to send an envelope full of quarters to Toho because I liked the Godzilla movies so much.

Running away from home literally meant sprinting away from your house (and then walking back).

If you dig in the right spot at a construction site, you'll definitely find dinosaur bones.

putting ANY plastic on your head would cause suffocation.


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## broj15 (May 23, 2012)

My parents also used to tell me not to walk on man hole covers or else alligators would climb out and eat me.


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## morrowcosom (May 24, 2012)

When I was in Kindergarten I was playing dodgeball for the first time, and got hit, so I had to go sit out next to the wall. I immediately started bawling to the teacher because I thought that if you got tagged out, you had to go to the principal's office. 


On another note, throughout my entire elementary school experience I had to stay in after-school care because my parents got off of work late. The program mainly took place in the cafeteria and the bathrooms were way on the other side of the school. So, sometimes I took a shortcut.

By going through the gym, I would save about half the distance. It was pitch black except for two exit signs. I went into the gym and started running as fast as I could to the next exit because I believed monsters were chasing me as a punishment for being lazy. 

The funny part is that the gym would have chairs set up in it on occasion. I would run into the chairs not knowing they were there, fall down/flip and bust my ass/face/back, get up and keep running, sometimes getting knocked off of my feet numerous times.


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## Variant (May 24, 2012)

I thought politicians got elected into office to help people. That turned out to be utterly ridiculous.


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## Kwirk (May 24, 2012)

If anyone's familiar with the hardware chain Menards, their commercial has a little jingle that goes "Save big money at Menards!"

I used to think that meant save your money because you're going to need a lot to shop here. ;/


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## Breakdown (May 24, 2012)

up until the 5th grade i thought all hispanics were mexican like me. I even tried telling my Guatemalan friend that he was mexican not guatemalan .


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## Xaios (May 24, 2012)

envenomedcky said:


> If you die in a dream, you die for real.


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## CrownofWorms (May 24, 2012)

Thinking women have just a surface instead of a vag cus lol. 

Praying and wishing for a real life Gundam


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## BlackMastodon (May 24, 2012)

Oh what I would've done to have a Gundam then. 








Actually now, too.


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## All_¥our_Bass (May 25, 2012)

I remember believing the chaos emeralds (from sonic the hedgehog) actually existed.





BlackMastodon said:


> Oh what I would've done to have a Gundam then.
> Actually now, too.


I wish I could have my own Metal Gear. Preferably Rex.


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## Xaios (May 25, 2012)

Alright, here's mine. While I don't think I ever actually believed this, I fantasized about picking up a Fire-Flower from Super Mario and being able to shoot fireballs out of my hands.


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## Empryrean (May 25, 2012)

I used to think if I ran fast enough in front of a mirror, the other 'me' would get tired, giving me a chance to walk through without him blocking me. 

never worked


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## SilenceIsACrime (May 26, 2012)

I used to think that if I pressed a certain combination of tiles in my dads shower that a secret door would open and a bunch of hot, naked ladies would come out for smooching.

I was also 100% convinced that I invented the word "ginormous."

Oh, and ever since The Truman Show came out I am still not convinced my life isn't a reality TV show.... O_O


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## Kodee_Kaos (May 26, 2012)

I used to think that everyone was a government agent and/or alien hybrid, and that they could all read my thoughts. 

Just about a week ago, I was thinking about seeing a psychologist, and a stranger came up to me and handed me a note with the name and number of a shrink on it. This wasn't five minutes after I thought that, he handed me the note. D:

What kind of sick game are you playing with my mind, Illuminati?!


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## AnarchyDivine88 (May 26, 2012)

liamh said:


> I thought that when you press the buttons of traffic lights to cross it turned the cars off so you could walk



 That *should* be how they work.


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## Stealthdjentstic (May 26, 2012)

Kodee_Kaos said:


> I used to think that everyone was a government agent and/or alien hybrid, and that they could all read my thoughts.
> 
> Just about a week ago, I was thinking about seeing a psychologist, and a stranger came up to me and handed me a note with the name and number of a shrink on it. This wasn't five minutes after I thought that, he handed me the note. D:
> 
> What kind of sick game are you playing with my mind, Illuminati?!



You must legitimately look crazy


----------



## AnarchyDivine88 (May 26, 2012)

SenorDingDong said:


> When I was five, I used to believe that there was a man in the sky who looked down on the world and judged us for our actions, deciding whether or not we would be worthy to join him in his cloud palace after we die.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



That's so hilariously ridiculous! And the belly button thing is pretty farfetched, too  Actually, that does sound like something that could've been in the old testament though. In fact I think the seventh commandement went something like:

"Thou shalt not commit adultery, lest ye stomach should open up and pour forth of thine blood and entrails.....Also, no gay stuff"

Or something like that, but I'm no religious scholar or anything.


----------



## All_¥our_Bass (May 26, 2012)

CrownofWorms said:


> Thinking women have just a surface instead of a vag cus lol.


Reminds me of this.


----------



## Furtive Glance (May 27, 2012)

I thought that if I was really nice to girls they'd eventually want to date me. 
HIYOOOOO. 

And that anyone could actually become prime minister, president etc. if they had the right drive. False. 

Ah, youth.


----------



## Breakdown (May 28, 2012)

also when I first started to watch porn I thought it went through the rear door and that the entire vagina was her urethra. I also used to think you had to pee inside of her.


----------



## BlackMastodon (May 28, 2012)

^ Did you start watching porn at age 7? 

I used to think women just became pregnant when they were married, then I learned the sexy truth.


----------



## highlordmugfug (May 28, 2012)

All_¥our_Bass;3025422 said:


> Reminds me of this.




bewbies


----------



## Rook (May 28, 2012)

When I was told about sex, I thought the male simply placed his person to the woman and just left it there and that was it. The first time I saw porn I was like wtf? Why's he doing that?

I thought honey came from simply squishing bees.

I thought other languages were the same as english just with the letters jumbled up.

My dad told me the gearstick (stick shift? I dunno what you guys call it) was for stirring the petrol. Believed him.

The first time I went on an aeroplane (age 4) the captain tested his flaps at the same time as doing the announcement. I thought the aeroplane was talking to me and I was the only one that could hear it, because I turned to my mum and said 'look at the wings, the plane's talking' and she said 'no its not'.

When I met pluto at Disney Land FL (where I was flying to age four) I was convinced he was the one and only pluto (as I'm sure many would). I even thought it was actually a dog.


----------



## matt397 (May 28, 2012)

When I was younger I used to think the harder you worked the more successful you became.


----------



## Genome (May 28, 2012)

I used to think the Eiffel Tower design was based off the Blackpool Tower.


----------



## MF_Kitten (May 28, 2012)

I thought that if a man and woman had sex once, the woman would become pregnant. If they then had sex again, the man would be pregnant instead. And then it would switch back and forth for each time.

I was a strange child.


----------



## Erazoender (May 28, 2012)

SenorDingDong said:


> But seriously, when I was eight, I used to think that if your belly button came untied (I didn't know it was a scar) all your insides would fall out.



They don't?


----------



## ilyti (May 28, 2012)

Church2224 said:


> I thought my family spoke a different language when I was not around.
> 
> My family only drove Ford trucks and suvs, so I thought they were the only people who made vehicles. And when my dad wanted to get a Dodge truck I was like "But only Ford makes cars!"


 
 Genuinely hilarious...



Furtive Glance said:


> And that anyone could actually become prime minister, president etc. if they had the right drive. False.
> 
> Ah, youth.


 
I remember a presentation in scout group where they were trying to convince us utterly that _any one of us_ could be an astronaut and go to Mars. That blew my MIND. Obviously turned out to be false.. way to ruin our lives by fooling us into thinking we're cut out for something we're obviously not.



envenomedcky said:


> If you could see a ladder through a grated sewer lid, that was one of the entrances to the Ninja Turtles lair.


 
I don't think I ever actually believed the Ninja Turtles were real, but I would check anyway.. then I remembered they only lived in New York City.

When I was younger my brother actually had a huge phobia of demonized red goo coming out of the showerhead from watching Ghostbusters 2. He actually had panic attacks. I never had that fear though. I wasn't even scared of dinosaurs after seeing Jurassic Park at age 8. 

I don't know if this counts as a "werid thing I thought as a kid" because I still wonder about it. What if all the colours I see are not the colours everyone else sees? What if what I percieve to be red is blue to someone else? But all their life they look at an apple ad see blue, but call it red because that's what they were told it was called. Just some existentialist stuff we can never really prove.


----------



## mr_rainmaker (May 28, 2012)

Kodee_Kaos said:


> I used to think that everyone was a government agent and/or alien hybrid, and that they could all read my thoughts.
> 
> Just about a week ago, I was thinking about seeing a psychologist, and a stranger came up to me and handed me a note with the name and number of a shrink on it. This wasn't five minutes after I thought that, he handed me the note. D:
> 
> What kind of sick game are you playing with my mind, Illuminati?!


----------



## tacotiklah (May 28, 2012)

Kinda gross, but true:
As a kid I used to be afraid of my own feces after taking a crap. I was convinced that they kept floating together to create some kind of a demonic spellword that would open a black gate that would drag me down hell. 

Other weird things:
I used to watch EVERY kung fu movie I could get my hands on, because I figured that if I watched enough of them and practiced enough, I'd be as badass as bruce lee.

I would avoid every single crack on the sidewalk because I really did believe that if I stepped on one, my mom would fall and break her back. Walking to school was a goddamn nightmare I tell you. 

Every other person had a great childhood and I just got the shit end of the stick because God hates me specifically.

Gay people were demonically possessed and just needed the love of Jesus to heal them. (I was a devout pentacostal at the age of 11)

I used to believe as a kid that I was somehow important to the end of days and that there would be a point when the world ended that I would be called on to save humanity. (dear god I hope I'm not schizo.  )

I used to believe that all normal people can read, write and spell well and the ones that couldn't were mentally retarded or something.

I believed that success and happiness were all a matter of faith and devotion. This idea still clings onto me and I can't shake it.

That loving your enemies would somehow make them hate you less. Sorry Jesus, but I've done this and it just pissed them off even more and made them think I was insane. Not one of your brighter ideas dude.... 

I believed that moms really DID have eyes in the back of their head. Didn't help that my sister and I actually tried to find them on our mom while she was asleep, and without missing a beat, my mom (who was sleeping with her face buried in a pillow) told us out of nowhere to stop looking for them because we will never find them. We remained convinced of this for years, and even to this day I still have my suspicions...

Marriage must be awesome because my dad sure loved to get married a lot.

Probably have a hundred more dumb things, but that's all I can think of right now.


----------



## Breakdown (May 29, 2012)

BlackMastodon said:


> ^ Did you start watching porn at age 7?
> 
> I used to think women just became pregnant when they were married, then I learned the sexy truth.



kind of actually around 9 or 10ish. I didn't watch it too often back then though it was whenever my parents where gone and I was home alone which didn't happen too often.


----------



## Captain Shoggoth (May 29, 2012)

ilyti said:


> I don't know if this counts as a "werid thing I thought as a kid" because I still wonder about it. What if all the colours I see are not the colours everyone else sees? What if what I percieve to be red is blue to someone else? But all their life they look at an apple ad see blue, but call it red because that's what they were told it was called. Just some existentialist stuff we can never really prove.



This. Every goddamn day.


----------



## sandeer101 (May 30, 2012)

ilyti said:


> I don't know if this counts as a "werid thing I thought as a kid" because I still wonder about it. What if all the colours I see are not the colours everyone else sees? What if what I percieve to be red is blue to someone else? But all their life they look at an apple ad see blue, but call it red because that's what they were told it was called. Just some existentialist stuff we can never really prove.


 
Being a lighting technician i have wondered this myself aswell 

After studying it though light can be measured as being waves, making it a science, therefor _a_ color can be proven to be just _that_ color.

Also the human eye is always sensitive to these waves (from 440 *n*ano*m*eters to 800 *nm* IIRC) and cannot misplace a certain wavelength with another.

Cones and rods in the eye translate the waves into signals our brains percept as colors. But who knows; maybe the signals get switched in the brain making it possible to percieve colors different then the other. Haven't thought about that yet.


----------



## OzoneJunkie (May 31, 2012)

Breakdown said:


> also when I first started to watch porn I thought it went through the rear door and that the entire vagina was her urethra. I also used to think you had to pee inside of her.



pihb


----------



## ASoC (Jun 1, 2012)

caskettheclown said:


> I was scared of the vaccuum and the lawnmower as well. I would hide under my blankets and stuff. I was scared of them because I always heard my mom and dad argue a lot and it fucked me up emotionally so loud noises like that scared me.



I still have that issue, I have panic attacks when people start yelling at each other



CrownofWorms said:


> Praying and wishing for a real life Gundam



So much of my life was spent hoping that gundams, pokemon, and all other manner of cool stuff from TV would magically appear to me



nostealbucket said:


> I thought I was cool.


I didn't think this as a kid, but for some reason I do now. Even though I know I'm wrong


----------



## AxeHappy (Jun 1, 2012)

1. That logic and reason would be useful skills in the real world.

2. That if I got REALLY good at guitar, chicks would fuck me.


----------



## Dead Undead (Jun 1, 2012)

nostealbucket said:


> Along with this, I thought policemen were cyborgs and punished people who didn't sleep at night.
> 
> 
> I was convinced that my teachers were robot overlords because of something my friend told me.



These are actually pretty accurate. 



sandeer101 said:


> Being a lighting technician i have wondered this myself aswell
> 
> After studying it though light can be measured as being waves, making it a science, therefor _a_ color can be proven to be just _that_ color.
> 
> ...



Way to ruin the Richard Bach moment.  I still think perception and belief are everything.

I tried obsessively to shoot a Kamehameha wave after watching DBZ.

After watching Tremors, I was afraid to walk on the ground. I wore socks and walked on my toes really slowly so it wouldn't make a sound. Then I saw Tremors 2 and realized there was no escaping being eaten by those horrible creatures.


----------



## JosephAOI (Jun 1, 2012)

I thought that those dual discs in Yu-Gi-Oh really existed but they were highly classified secrets and costed like $5000 so that's why you never saw any.


----------



## neoclassical (Jun 2, 2012)

ZEBOV said:


> When I was a kid, I wanted to be a Jedi Knight when I grew up.



It can happen. 


needless to say i'm still holding onto that one at 30 something......


----------



## Kodee_Kaos (Jun 2, 2012)

After watching that scene in Terminator 2 where everyone gets vaporized on the playground, I always used to be paranoid that airplanes at night were actually incoming nukes. I swear to god that scene was engineered to terrorize children.

D:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQz91Cx0Ato&feature=fvwrel


----------



## All_¥our_Bass (Jun 2, 2012)

AxeHappy said:


> 1. That logic and reason would be useful skills in the real world.
> 
> 2. That if I got REALLY good at guitar, chicks would fuck me.


These

With no. 1 they *ARE* still useful, but not quite as effective as one might think. Especially when it involves other people.

With no. 2 it seems the more mediocre you are at guitar the more chicks dig you, and like wise the better you are the less they seem interested.


----------



## Furtive Glance (Jun 2, 2012)

Some of my friends mentioned this one the other day: Gas station pumps themselves contained the gas and there wasn't any reservoir or anything underneath. "Wow, how do they fill so many cars?!"


----------



## FormerlyVintage (Jun 2, 2012)

JosephAOI said:


> I thought that those dual discs in Yu-Gi-Oh really existed but they were highly classified secrets and costed like $5000 so that's why you never saw any.



But they do exist.


----------



## Edika (Jun 2, 2012)

At one point I believed that the announcers in TV were speaking to me personally. That was around the age of 4. I remember especially I was waiting to see one of my favorite cartoons (Heidi) and for some reason it was not shown that day. An announcer came on and I asked out loud "why aren't you showing Heidi?" and the announcer replied that it was rescheduled at the last moment! I ran at my mother to tell her that the TV replied and she tried to explain that it was just a coincidence!

I used to read a lot of books and watch a lot of documentaries about science and animals. I was shocked to listen to kid in junior high that he hadn't red a single book in his life so far aside from school books.

As every kid I thought I was special. Being more intelligent than most kids helped me believe that but I wasn't a snob about it. Then after a while I discovered that aside from intelligence you need to put effort to progress more. That happened around junior high.

I believed (unfortunately until recently) that if you are good at what you do and really love it then you will become successful. Although it does apply in some cases, most of the times it is a matter of who you know. Of course you still have to be good, but if you haven't managed to network then it is increasingly difficult.

I used to believe that you can solve your differences without resorting to violence, just by simple rational discussion. I found violence primitive and uncivilized and didn't really like to hurt others or get hurt myself. I was very serene and very difficult to anger.


----------



## JosephAOI (Jun 2, 2012)

Django said:


> But they do exist.


Not the crappy plastic ones 

I mean like the legit ones that actually made your cards appear in front of you and shit.


----------



## ilyti (Jun 2, 2012)

Edika said:


> I used to believe that you can solve your differences without resorting to violence, just by simple rational discussion. I found violence primitive and uncivilized and didn't really like to hurt others or get hurt myself. I was very serene and very difficult to anger.



So you believe violence *does* solve problems in certain cases? What changed your mind?


----------



## Saber_777 (Jun 2, 2012)

That one day I would be happy and have made something out of myself.


----------



## mcleanab (Jun 2, 2012)

Kodee_Kaos said:


> After watching that scene in Terminator 2 where everyone gets vaporized on the playground, I always used to be paranoid that airplanes at night were actually incoming nukes. I swear to god that scene was engineered to terrorize children.
> 
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQz91Cx0Ato&feature=fvwrel



Children? I was 20 when I saw that in the theatre and it scared the fuck out of me...

As far as the violence in the other post? Might makes right... you have something important to say and the guy next to you is bigger, he squashes you and you are never heard... sucks...


----------



## BlackMastodon (Jun 3, 2012)

JosephAOI said:


> I mean like the legit ones that actually made your cards appear in front of you and shit.


The second they make those, I am gonna be all over them.


----------



## JosephAOI (Jun 3, 2012)

Me too, dude. I'm not afraid to admit I still have my old cards. That game was the shit!


----------



## ZEBOV (Jun 3, 2012)

neoclassical said:


> It can happen.
> 
> 
> needless to say i'm still holding onto that one at 30 something......



You're too old to begin the training.


----------



## Edika (Jun 3, 2012)

ilyti said:


> So you believe violence *does* solve problems in certain cases? What changed your mind?



I still don't believe that violence can actually solve problems but it is very difficult trying to be reasonable and calm with people that don't share the same sentiments or try to communicate. When I was younger I was more tolerant and didn't give a crap to the provocation of others. I just though they were morons and just ignored them.
After doing the mandatory military service in my country were I was exposed to an unreasonable amount of idiots of all calibers following and giving orders that made no sense just because you have to be able to follow orders among other demented ideals I managed to loose all my patience, tolerance and understanding for morons. When I interact with people like these I get angry rather quickly and will not backed down from provocation.


----------



## Mr. Big Noodles (Jun 3, 2012)

I used to believe that cars could jump over traffic. This is likely an effect of living in Southern California. My mother would be driving us somewhere on the freeway, then after ten minutes of waiting in heavy traffic I would say "Just jump it, mom!", as though traffic were a choice to begin with. Looking back now, the results would be horrific if I had my way.


----------



## BlackMastodon (Jun 3, 2012)

I used to think Garfield comics were funny.


----------



## metal_sam14 (Jun 3, 2012)

I used to think that only famous people from big bands were allowed to own guitars. 

Mind blown when I got to high school and there were 100 odd nylon strings there


----------



## teamSKDM (Sep 13, 2012)

I was terrified of people coming into my room through my window to kill me, so i would sleep under the blanket and suck in my stomach, thinking it would make me flat and not make a buldge in my bed. also that fear got driven to the point where i put my bed inside of my walk in closet, which in all honesty was pretty cool.


----------



## CrownofWorms (Sep 13, 2012)

Thinking that Christianity was the truth and only way, also not being aware of any other religion and/or view on life. I just thought everyone believed in God and Jesus like it was a fact in life

Thinking all rock is talentless and satanic and/or unholy(I was like 7 listening to fucking lil jon and bone thugs n harmony or whatever shit that was on the radio and what my cousins listened to)

At like 11 I thought tuning a guitar up would make it sound automatically metal( It was the first ever guitar question I asked to a clerk at a music store)

Thinking SOAD, Chevelle, and Linkin Park was the hardest thing ever when I was like 11 or 12 (Even though chevelle does have pretty fuckin good guitar tone)


----------



## VILARIKA (Sep 14, 2012)

When I was a kid, I used to think that every limousine I saw had a famous person in it.


----------



## SuperMutant (Sep 14, 2012)

morrowcosom said:


> When I was 4, I thought that an Octopus named "Ursula" lived under a tree in my back yard and I would spend hours talking to it.
> 
> I use to think that a man with horns growing out of his eyesockets was running around my backyard at night waiting to get me.
> 
> ...


 I think you should see a doctor..

Or better yet, a scientist.


----------



## SuperMutant (Sep 14, 2012)

Even when I was a kid I thought DBZ was stupid.


----------



## avenger (Sep 14, 2012)

Probably when we got to the point of doing "triple threats"... We would pick three substances and take them all at the same time to try to come up with the perfect substance combo.


I am alive.

XD


----------



## BlackMastodon (Sep 14, 2012)

CrownofWorms said:


> Thinking that Christianity was the truth and only way, also not being aware of any other religion and/or view on life. I just thought everyone believed in God and Jesus like it was a fact in life
> 
> Thinking all rock is talentless and satanic and/or unholy(I was like 7 listening to fucking lil jon and bone thugs n harmony or whatever shit that was on the radio and what my cousins listened to)
> 
> ...



I still like SOAD and Chevelle.  Agree on the religion bit.


----------



## Grand Moff Tim (Sep 14, 2012)

I thought Kirk Hammet was the best shredder out there and Lars Ulrich was the best drummer. I still dig Metallica these days, but I've managed to take the fanboy blinders off.


----------



## Winspear (Sep 14, 2012)

Grand Moff Tim said:


> I thought Kirk Hammet was the best shredder out there and Lars Ulrich was the best drummer. I still dig Metallica these days, but I've managed to take the fanboy blinders off.



I know that feel 

A boy at my school put tobacco and chewing gum in the cakes he made for our cake day. I spent a good two weeks entirely convinced I was dying after eating one.

Also, my parents haven't worked since I was born (I'm 20) as my dad is old and my mum is a housewife. When I was about 6 or so, I apparently told them "When I'm older, I don't want to go to work. I want to be a normal person like you".  If only...


----------



## bob123 (Sep 14, 2012)

SuperMutant said:


> Even when I was a kid I thought DBZ was stupid.



This is unacceptable. I am disappoint.


----------



## Curt (Sep 14, 2012)

JosephAOI said:


> I thought that those dual discs in Yu-Gi-Oh really existed but they were highly classified secrets and costed like $5000 so that's why you never saw any.


 
I swear for a short while they produced that toy. I just remember being in grade 6 and getting my stack of roughly 350 cards taken for messing with them in class. Never got them back. lol 
Allowance money wasted. :/ 

On a side note, I bought a Yu-Gi-Oh game for my xbox. Play the hell out of it when I cant get back to sleep from waking up at 3 a.m... Dont hate.


----------



## BlackWinds10 (Sep 15, 2012)

One of my stupid illogical things i though when I was a kid was, I firmly believed that at any point a great white shark could swim out of the drain pipe in a pool and eat me.

Also, I used to firmly believe that I could someday become a power ranger and this was during the era of those jungle like power rangers that had these mystic balls they called upon. Well it happened that my foster mom at the time had balls that looked EXACTLY like these things so I used to go to the bathroom at night and call upon them and wait for one of the mystic creatures to come and take me off to power ranger HQ lololol


----------



## Atomshipped (Sep 15, 2012)

I don't know why, but I _always _ran up/down the stairs. I still do, some times.


----------



## Winspear (Sep 16, 2012)

Atomshipped said:


> I don't know why, but I _always _ran up/down the stairs. I still do, some times.



Yeah, usually on all fours. I somehow got out of that habit but I never stopped running.


----------



## Danukenator (Sep 16, 2012)

On the note of pools and sharks....

I was always terrified that the crazy, robot shark form the movie James and the Giant Peach would come and bite me.


----------



## thealexkelley (Sep 16, 2012)

I watched too much teenage mutant ninja turtles as a kid and my 1st grade teacher talked about new york city so much I thought I lived there and the were real... I live in Florida

Don't tell me I'm the only one who wants to make wing zero guys


----------



## Dan_Vacant (Sep 16, 2012)

EtherealEntity said:


> Yeah, usually on all fours. I somehow got out of that habit but I never stopped running.


I do that at my dads apartment.
When I was little I thought a monster lived above my grandmas shower/bathtub. I also thought water towers were spaceships.


----------



## texshred777 (Sep 16, 2012)

I believed an omniscient, omnipotent extra planar being created everything and I was one of his chosen people.


----------



## tacotiklah (Sep 16, 2012)

I used to believe that if I ate pizza all the time and copied every move I saw on TV, I could do cool martial arts moves like the ninja turtles.


----------



## Dan_Vacant (Sep 16, 2012)

I just member being in the car and I asked my dad if my brother was in my moms tummy was I in his tummy after he said no I asked if it was the other way around and all sorts of combinations .(my brother is 18 months older)
I thought every one was born a boy and turned into a women when they got old (I also thought girls had penises)
I thought basements had monsters in them.


----------



## Dan_Vacant (Sep 16, 2012)

I hate remember my stupid stuff cause I have to post it 
When I was in 2nd grade I was jumping of the play equipment holding the sides of my jacket out thinking I was going to fly. It didn't work so I thought "well maybe if I flap them like a bird I can fly." I still didn't fly I was bummed out. I'm not sure why I thought I could fly at that time cause I didn't believe in Santa or the Easter bunny but I believed I could fly.


----------



## K3V1N SHR3DZ (Sep 16, 2012)

I was a rabid right-wing fundamentalist as a pre-teen.


----------



## MitchellJBurgess (Sep 16, 2012)

When I was much much younger, like, 5, I was scared that the pink part of your penis can fall out if you don't keep it pushed into the skin...
I was circumcised when I was born. (still am obviously =P), but I was scared its just fall out of the skin!!

Erm, what else,
I used to think my dad might secretly be god.
None of my family are religious, I just thought that might be the truth. =P

I thought guitars are what literally helps rotate the earth,
I thought allot without making questions so allot of things I thought were in no way possible:
But my uncles, my dad, and some of my aunties and my pop all play guitar, so I thought it was just incredible!
And I still do!
Passionately believe that. =)


----------



## Azathoth43 (Sep 18, 2012)

I used to think that people genuinely cared about each other and the world around them.


----------



## Guamskyy (Sep 18, 2012)

I used to think since snake's don't have a visual ass, they don't poop or pee, which made them the best pet ever.


----------



## tm20 (Sep 18, 2012)

when i was a kid, i could never figure out wtf was going on with ending credits of movies. i saw they would scroll from bottom up and i was confused by why they weren't coming out the top of the tv. this lead me to think they were printed on a conveyer belt or some sort of similar mechanism which wound the credits into a roll


----------



## Cabinet (Sep 18, 2012)

kgad0831 said:


> I was a rabid right-wing fundamentalist as a pre-teen.



eugh
i was extreme left wing. if i saw myself at 14 i would slap him so hard.


----------



## Martydomm (Sep 19, 2012)

When I was a really young, I thought that if I had so much as a foot outside of the blankets a monster would grab me, but if I was fully covered I was safe ?...I still fully cover myself in my blanket to this day.


----------



## SuperMutant (Sep 19, 2012)

I thought touching random womans boobs in public was normal.


----------



## BlackMastodon (Sep 19, 2012)

Martydomm said:


> When I was a really young, I thought that if I had so much as a foot outside of the blankets a monster would grab me, but if I was fully covered I was safe ?...I still fully cover myself in my blanket to this day.



Man, I still do this after watching Paranormal Activity.


----------



## kerska (Sep 20, 2012)

I didn't know you had to have sex to get a girl pregnant. I always thought that as soon as you got married to a girl she immediately became pregnant.

I don't know how I thought that made sense because I was an accidental pregnancy when my mom was 18, and her and my biological dad weren't together lol.


----------



## BlackMastodon (Sep 20, 2012)

kerska said:


> I didn't know you had to have sex to get a girl pregnant. I always thought that as soon as you got married to a girl she immediately became pregnant.



I'm guilty of this.


----------



## morrowcosom (Sep 20, 2012)

I thought that whenever people had sex, that they just got naked and grinded against each other. 

Whenever I saw that the penis was actually inserted into the vagina, I was grossed out by how the vagina looked and thought the man was hurting the woman because of the noises she was making.


----------



## Randy (Sep 20, 2012)

When I was a kid, I was convinced somebody would come into my room and kill me in my sleep. My sister and I used to share a room, so I'd always insist she took the bed closest to the door. I'd also do my best to fall asleep in a "dead pose" so that if a killer came in, they'd assume somebody already killed me.


----------



## cataclysm_child (Sep 20, 2012)

I believed if I swallowed gum it would grow a tree out of it.
Also believed you would be blind if you closed your eyes for too long


----------



## Luke Acacia (Sep 20, 2012)

I use to think I was Spiderman. I thought that the cartoons that I was watching were actually about me and I was crouch on my bed like he did thinking I was a KING.


----------



## Luke Acacia (Sep 20, 2012)

I almost forgot!!

My ex girlfriend actually thought that there was banana bending machines and that they grew completely straight. The best part about this was that she thought that when she was 18-19. I still remember the first time she told me that and my reaction.


----------



## BlackMastodon (Sep 20, 2012)

Luke Acacia said:


> I almost forgot!!
> 
> My *ex* girlfriend actually thought that there was banana bending machines and that they grew completely straight. The best part about this was that she thought that when she was 18-19. I still remember the first time she told me that and *my reaction*.


Could these 2 parts be correlated?


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## Luke Acacia (Sep 20, 2012)

You know it!
She brought it up in the car with her family and we all laughed at her. Her mother said that was something she told her when she was about 4.
She was pretty hot though.


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## iRaiseTheDead (Sep 22, 2012)

I used to think if you eat the black seeds in watermelon, they would start growing inside of you.


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## texshred777 (Sep 23, 2012)

iRaiseTheDead said:


> I used to think if you eat the black seeds in watermelon, they would start growing inside of you.


 
 Recently told my son this one. He equated it to how he was conceived. It was funny.


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## cataclysm_child (Sep 25, 2012)

Luke Acacia said:


> I almost forgot!!
> 
> My ex girlfriend actually thought that there was banana bending machines and that they grew completely straight. The best part about this was that she thought that when she was 18-19. I still remember the first time she told me that and my reaction.



My ex thought she could get pregnant by swallowing 
She was 18-19 too


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## flint757 (Sep 25, 2012)

I used to think (because who do you ask ) when I was like10 or 11 that you could get a disease from jerking it.


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## Marv Attaxx (Sep 25, 2012)

When I was a little kid I've always wondered how they could draw live action movies so realistic like that....


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## Cabinet (Sep 25, 2012)

flint757 said:


> I used to think (because who do you ask ) when I was like10 or 11 that you could get a disease from jerking it.



dude i didn't start jerking it till i was like 13? maybe?
the first time was under a blanket too, and i just kept going until i came, but didn't realize that i orgasmed, so i tried to keep going despite my dick being super sensitive. it wasn't until the next day i was like OH! SO THAT WAS THE ORGASM! OH MAN THAT'S AWESOME


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## CannibalKiller (Sep 25, 2012)

I used to think sports on TV were just animations of what they thought was going to happen 
Not sure if I should bring up the G word.


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## AxeHappy (Sep 25, 2012)

Pretty sure people have already brought up God/gods/Religion so go for it if you want.

The sports thing is just Awesome!


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## CrushingAnvil (Sep 25, 2012)

SuperMutant said:


> Even when I was a kid I thought DBZ was stupid.



Get out.


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## CrushingAnvil (Sep 25, 2012)

CrownofWorms said:


> Thinking that Christianity was the truth and only way, also not being aware of any other religion and/or view on life. I just thought everyone believed in God and Jesus like it was a fact in life
> 
> Thinking all rock is talentless and satanic and/or unholy(I was like 7 listening to fucking lil jon and bone thugs n harmony or whatever shit that was on the radio and what my cousins listened to)
> 
> ...





My fucking word that's all gold.


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## TheHandOfStone (Sep 25, 2012)

I used to think Duct Tape was called "Duck Tape" - I don't remember when I found out otherwise (but I swear it wasn't just today ).

Also, when I was like 12 I thought Godsmack was a good band.


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## CrushingAnvil (Sep 25, 2012)

kerska said:


> *I didn't know you had to have sex to get a girl pregnant. I always thought that as soon as you got married to a girl she immediately became pregnant.*
> 
> I don't know how I thought that made sense because I was an accidental pregnancy when my mom was 18, and her and my biological dad weren't together lol.


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## Dan_Vacant (Sep 25, 2012)

For half my school day I go to as construction class and while we were doing electrical I remember some guy saying that when Jewish guys turn 18 they get the tips of their dick cut off, I held in the WTF and laughing at him and some one believed him. I hope I'm not wrong on that one.


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## flint757 (Sep 25, 2012)

I don't know about 18, but I do think he is right. Isn't it a jewish thing to get circumcised as a child/teenager? (versus not at all or as a baby)


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## HaMMerHeD (Sep 25, 2012)

TheHandOfStone said:


> I used to think Duct Tape was called "Duck Tape" - I don't remember when I found out otherwise (but I swear it wasn't just today ).
> 
> Also, when I was like 12 I thought Godsmack was a good band.



BAM!

When I was 12, godsmack, disturbed, korn, and nickelback didn't exist. It was a good time to be alive.


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## Dan_Vacant (Sep 25, 2012)

flint757 said:


> I don't know about 18, but I do think he is right. Isn't it a jewish thing to get circumcised as a child/teenager? (versus not at all or as a baby)


what? I thought it was like a normal one but from how he said it it sounded like he meant the head not the foreskin.


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## Dan_Vacant (Sep 25, 2012)

flint757 said:


> I don't know about 18, but I do think he is right. Isn't it a jewish thing to get circumcised as a child/teenager? (versus not at all or as a baby)


I looked it up and I read it happens after a child is 8 days old. so he was 17yrs and 8 months off.


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## bulb (Sep 25, 2012)

I saw an action movie when I was young where a van blows up in a car chase, but I saw it happen as a result of touching the double yellow lines. I used to think that if any car touched those it would blow up, and would keep an eye on how close we were getting/would freak out if it looked like we were on it haha.


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## bulb (Sep 25, 2012)

Also my parents were pretty open about sex/babies and stuff when I was as young as I could remember, and despite the fact that I knew what sperm were at a young age and how that worked for some reason I thought you had to pee in a girl's vagina to impregnate her...


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## bulb (Sep 25, 2012)

Also I thought "the loud sound" aka Distortion was caused by hitting the strings on an electric guitar differently, and was very perplexed as to how that worked. I remember finally being showed how all that worked when i was 13 or so and I was like "OHHHHHH that makes so much more sense!"


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## bulb (Sep 25, 2012)

Oh and I just remembered this one, though this is partially my dad's fault because he is quirky.
I remember at a young age asking where I was before I was born or in my mom's tummy, and my dad said that I was in "the satellite". Somehow that totally made sense to me, probably because I was really young the first time he told me this, and still to this day it kinda makes sense...ish?


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## Pooluke41 (Sep 25, 2012)

bulb said:


> I saw an action movie when I was young where a van blows up in a car chase, but I saw it happen as a result of touching the double yellow lines. I used to think that if any car touched those it would blow up, and would keep an eye on how close we were getting/would freak out if it looked like we were on it haha.



That sounds like something they should put in Borderlands 2 or as a cheat in GTA V.


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## Pooluke41 (Sep 25, 2012)

bulb said:


> Oh and I just remembered this one, though this is partially my dad's fault because he is quirky.
> I remember at a young age asking where I was before I was born or in my mom's tummy, and my dad said that I was in "the satellite". Somehow that totally made sense to me, probably because I was really young the first time he told me this, and still to this day it kinda makes sense...ish?



Misha: Bane of the Edit button since 1983


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## Winspear (Sep 25, 2012)

I used to think that Bulb made good music.






Just kidding 

I was never _that_ silly


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## JosephAOI (Sep 25, 2012)

EtherealEntity said:


> I used to think that Bulb made good music.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Well after hearing All I Want For Christmas Is You... what else can you think?


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## BlackMastodon (Sep 26, 2012)

HaMMerHeD said:


> BAM!
> 
> When I was 12, godsmack, disturbed, korn, and nickelback didn't exist. It was a good time to be alive.



Those first 3 were my favorite bands back in the day and every now and again I still enjoy Godsmack (don't lynch me ) but even back then I didn't like nickleback.


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## Pooluke41 (Sep 26, 2012)

EtherealEntity said:


> I used to think that Bulb made good music.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Dude, haven't you heard bulb's early influences?



These influences really made his early stuff much much better.


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## Stealthtastic (Sep 27, 2012)

After I saw michael myers the first time I always thought he was in my house. I was always scared that if I made sound, he would know where I was and would kill me...


Never flushed the toilet while I was upstairs alone...

I also managed to sleep with my eyes open looking at the door.


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## flint757 (Sep 27, 2012)

I remember being so sleep deprived one day that I could swear I saw someone in an empty room that is right next to mine. Freaked me out so bad I didn't sleep at all and I barricaded my door.


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## tm20 (Sep 27, 2012)

when i was 8 my mum told me that the planets in the solar system would align in a certain way which would some how lead to the end of the world. upon being told this i started to think of how me and my family could survive. i came up with the idea of putting everything we own into pokeballs and since pokeballs can be shrunk, we'd just put all the pokeballs into our pockets. then we'd find shelter and hope for the best. i was a little genius


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## BlackMastodon (Sep 27, 2012)

My grandma used to tell me that once day all humans and animals will live in harmony and all the other stuff Jehovah's Witnesses believe. Even when I was 5 I thought it was complete bullshit.  And no, my grandma never did the door to door bothering of folks.


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## flint757 (Sep 27, 2012)

I don't know why, but I don't have a problem with Jehova's witnesses knocking at the door, but I have a problem with mormon's doing the same thing. 

It sucks as a kid being a JW, they don't celebrate anything so no gifts.  (or so I'm told)


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## glpg80 (Sep 27, 2012)

When i was young i thought that you were only allowed 1 sheet of small toilet paper at a time because that is how they were all cut lol


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## BlackMastodon (Sep 27, 2012)

flint757 said:


> I don't know why, but I don't have a problem with Jehova's witnesses knocking at the door, but I have a problem with mormon's doing the same thing.
> 
> It sucks as a kid being a JW, they don't celebrate anything so no gifts.  (or so I'm told)


My parents brought me up Catholic so it was all good, only my grandma was JW.



glpg80 said:


> When i was young i thought that you were only allowed 1 sheet of small toilet paper at a time because that is how they were all cut lol


I feel like this may have lead to a few terrible incidents.


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