# Is it just me....



## TheDolff (Feb 1, 2011)

Is it just me... or is Randy really not as funny as he thinks he is?


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## Tree (Feb 1, 2011)

It's just you. 

I don't know whether to report this, or leave it cause it's funny...Eh report. Pointless thread is pointless.


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## TheDolff (Feb 1, 2011)

Tree said:


> It's just you.



Have you been reading the Meme thread?
He seems to think pretty high of himself there...

I mean, he complains about us not being on topic, then goes and posts shit thats not funny, and is totally off topic.


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## Daemoniac (Feb 1, 2011)

Stupid thread is stupid.


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## MaxOfMetal (Feb 1, 2011)

Nah, he really is humorless. Kinda annoying too.


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## Randy (Feb 1, 2011)

I agree with everything that's been said in here.

*This thread is now about stupid shit you used to do when you were a kid.

Go.*


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## jymellis (Feb 1, 2011)

i think randy is funny as fucking hell. something i used to do as a kid? beat the shit out of people that said my friends werent funny


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## Tree (Feb 1, 2011)

I picked my nose and wiped it on the wall next to my bed because I was too lazy to find tissue. It became known as "The Wall of Shame".


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## Randy (Feb 1, 2011)

jymellis said:


> i think randy is funny as fucking hell. something i used to do as a kid? beat the shit out of people that said my friends werent funny



Mon ami 

I used to do the same thing actually. Except one time I picked a fight with this kid that was raised on a farm, bailing hay for eight three hours a day AFTER school and 12 hours a day on the weekends. That kid was tough as nails. From then on, I stay the hell away from "farm kids".


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## synrgy (Feb 1, 2011)

Randy said:


> *This thread is now about stupid shit you used to do when you were a kid.
> 
> Go.*



I already told that story in another thread. 

Pre school, playing Star Wars, invited this girl in my class to hop on my back so we could swing on a rope like the scene in the Death Star where Luke and Leia are trying to get away from the Storm Troopers. 

Fell. Hard. 

First time I ever got the wind knocked out of me. Was sure I was going to die.


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## jymellis (Feb 1, 2011)

Randy said:


> Mon ami
> 
> I used to do the same thing actually. Except one time I picked a fight with this kid that was raised on a farm, bailing hay for eight three hours a day AFTER school and 12 hours a day on the weekends. That kid was tough as nails. From then on, I stay the hell away from "farm kids".


 
i had to haul firewood for hours after school in sub zero weather  thats is how we heated our house all winter long (sault ste. marie michigan) and dad was usually too drunk to do it. when i first moved to ohio nobody understood why they couldnt beat me arm wrestling lol


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## Randy (Feb 1, 2011)

synrgy said:


> First time I ever got the wind knocked out of me. Was sure I was going to die.



I missed that story the first time around, for some reason? Kids obsessed with Star Wars FTW! 

My friend had a set of Star Wars laser tag guns that we would use ALL the time. For whatever reason, I always wanted to be Dengar (at the time, I just knew him as the "old looking guy with balls in his neck") and his "power" was that he was invincible AKA I used to turn off my chest pack when he wasn't looking, so I couldn't get hit. I was such an asshole.



jymellis said:


> i had to haul firewood for hours after school in sub zero weather  thats is how we heated our house all winter long (sault ste. marie michigan) and dad was usually too drunk to do it. when i first moved to ohio nobody understood why they couldnt beat me arm wrestling lol



Similar situation here, actually (well, minus my dad wasn't much of a drunk and I always sucked balls at arm wrestling ). I was far from squishy but man... this kid was tough as nails. His brother fell into the back of a hay bailer when he was 12 years old and it pulled the skin off of, like, half his body. After he was out of the hospital (three days or so?), his parents put him back in school the very next day.

I'm pretty sure they're both serial killers now.


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## gunshow86de (Feb 1, 2011)

Randy said:


> I agree with everything that's been said in here.
> 
> *This thread is now about stupid shit you used to do when you were a kid.
> 
> Go.*



When I was 6, I accidentally overflowed the toilet. For the next 2 months or so, I was terrified to flush any TP down the toilet. So I would put the used TP in the waste basket, then take it to the large outside garbage can. I was a strange child.


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## jymellis (Feb 1, 2011)

Randy said:


> His brother fell into the back of a hay bailer when he was 12 years old and it pulled the skin off of, like, half his body. After he was out of the hospital, his parents put him back in school the very next day.
> 
> .


 
actually it was a snow blower, and my mom and dad said "quit being a pussy, you aint goin to see no doctors"


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## BrainArt (Feb 1, 2011)

jymellis said:


> i had to haul firewood for hours after school in sub zero weather  thats is how we heated our house all winter long (sault ste. marie michigan) and dad was usually too drunk to do it. when i first moved to ohio nobody understood why they couldnt beat me arm wrestling lol




I used to walk to school, 15-miles uphill, both ways, barefoot, in the snow, with no snow clothes...

 Kidding.




Like Jym, I used to be the protector in my group of friends as a kid. Nobody messed with my friends after I threatened a few guys who were larger than I was with violence. I was one fucking crazy little 6-year old sum bitch. Now I'm a fucking crazy 19-year old sum bitch. 


Is it bad that I can't remember a lot of what I did during my childhood? I don't repress memories much, if at all. 


I remember one time of the first times I used the microwave, I had put in some leftover chicken nuggets from Mickey D's, and instead of 45 seconds, I accidentally put them in for 45 MINUTES!  I was afraid to use the microwave for a while after that.


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## synrgy (Feb 1, 2011)

BrainArt said:


> barefoot



You had FEET?!


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## Cheesebuiscut (Feb 1, 2011)

One time, in my youth, I pooped so vigorously, I went blind for 5 minutes.


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## Randy (Feb 1, 2011)

gunshow86de said:


> When I was 6, I accidentally overflowed the toilet. For the next 2 months or so, I was terrified to flush any TP down the toilet. So I would put the used TP in the waste basket, then take it to the large outside garbage can. I was a strange child.



Nothing's changed.  

One time I was randomly too afraid to go to the bathroom on the other side of the house, so I shit in the fireplace instead. I made up an elaborate story that if anyone asked, it was a raccoon.



jymellis said:


> actually it was a snow blower, and my mom and dad said "quit being a pussy, you aint goin to see no doctors"







Cheesebuiscut said:


> One time, in my youth, I pooped so vigorously, I went blind for 5 minutes.



You eat a lot of cheese, by chance?


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## jymellis (Feb 1, 2011)

BrainArt said:


> Like Jym, I used to be the protector in my group of friends as a kid. Nobody messed with my friends after I threatened a few guys who were larger than I was with violence. I was one fucking crazy little 6-year old sum bitch. Now I'm a fucking crazy 19-year old sum bitch.
> 
> 
> .


 
thats where we are a little different. i for the most part never said anything. i didnt threaten, i didnt smack talk. i would walk up to people and assault them without any hint of it coming


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## Tree (Feb 1, 2011)

Cheesebuiscut said:


> One time, in my youth, I pooped so vigorously, I went blind for 5 minutes.



You lie! 


I always played football with the "big kids", who were actually much, much larger than me. Needless to say I got the living hell beat out of me every time I got the ball 

And as long as we're telling weird bathroom stories:
My mom used to keep this decorative vase next to the toilet (great spot, I know) and for whatever reason, I would sometimes stop myself midstream and proceed to urinate into the vase.


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## jymellis (Feb 1, 2011)

on a serious note. once when i was about 3 i grabbed a hot iron. i thought it would turn my hand red, and "throb" like on Tom and Jerry. i burned all the flesh of the palm and fingers of my right hand lololol.


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## synrgy (Feb 1, 2011)

One random Saturday at my mom's place when I was about 5-ish:

*reaches hand above counter to touch the burner of the coffee maker (fresh pot just removed) for no reason.*

Mom: "Carl, don't touch that. It's HOT."

me: "........." *reaches hand above the counter a second time.*

Mom: "CARL, I SAID DON'T TOUCH THAT. HOT."

me: "........." *waits for Mom to turn away, then reaches above counter and places entire hand on burner, palm and fingers pressed flat.*

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Mom: "I told you it was hot."


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## Randy (Feb 1, 2011)

Tree said:


> And as long as we're telling weird bathroom stories:
> My mom used to keep this decorative vase next to the toilet (great spot, I know) and for whatever reason, I would sometimes stop myself midstream and proceed to urinate into the vase.







jymellis said:


> on a serious note. once when i was about 3 i grabbed a hot iron. i thought it would turn my hand red, and "throb" like on Tom and Jerry. i burned all the flesh of the palm and fingers of my right hand lololol.



Ah, the violent cartoons of old.


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## techcoreriffman (Feb 1, 2011)

This one time, at band camp....


No really, when I was 5, I thought it was fun to walk on the top of monkey bars. I did it when it was snowing this one time, and I slipped, took all the skin off my shin, and racked myself so hard I threw up.
I could have sworn I was going to die.


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## jymellis (Feb 1, 2011)

techcoreriffman said:


> took all the skin off my shin,


 
i have done this skateboarding. most painful thing EVAR!!!


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## Tree (Feb 1, 2011)

techcoreriffman said:


> No really, when I was 5, I thought it was fun to walk on the top of monkey bars. I did it when it was snowing this one time, and I slipped, took all the skin off my shin, and racked myself so hard I threw up.
> I could have sworn I was going to die.



I did this and landed on my nuts...Minus the loss of flesh. It hurt so bad that I thought they were bleeding profusely.

They weren't


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## techcoreriffman (Feb 1, 2011)

jymellis said:


> i have done this skateboarding. most painful thing EVAR!!!


 
Don't even get me started with skateboarding stories. 
Here's one for shits and giggles.
I was probably.. 13, I had decided to do an airwalk out of a big quarter-pipe. 
Someone else had also decided to go out of said quarter-pipe. She kicked her board in front of me, I hit it, and slammed wrist first into a concrete wall at 15-ish mph.

It broke the saddle joint of my thumb. Painful as hell.


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## jymellis (Feb 1, 2011)

techcoreriffman said:


> Don't even get me started with skateboarding stories.
> Here's one for shits and giggles.
> I was probably.. 13, I had decided to do an airwalk out of a big quarter-pipe.
> Someone else had also decided to go out of said quarter-pipe. She kicked her board in front of me, I hit it, and slammed wrist first into a concrete wall at 15-ish mph.
> ...


 
think everyone here remembers my pic of my arm. i broke it skateboarding when i was 14 or 15 and never got it fixed. its still bent at the forearm


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## techcoreriffman (Feb 1, 2011)

jymellis said:


> think everyone here remembers my pic of my arm. i broke it skateboarding when i was 14 or 15 and never got it fixed. its still bent at the forearm


 
That sucks man.  Is there anyway to get it fixed without re-breaking it?


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## Randy (Feb 1, 2011)

Tree said:


> I did this and landed on my nuts...Minus the loss of flesh. It hurt so bad that I thought they were bleeding profusely.
> 
> They weren't



My friend did the same thing you two did except, instead, he broke his arm all the way through and when he ran to go get help, his arm was swinging limp so loosely that his hand was slapping his forearm on both sides while it was swinging.


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## jymellis (Feb 1, 2011)

techcoreriffman said:


> That sucks man.  Is there anyway to get it fixed without re-breaking it?


nope and they would have to cut the shit out of my arm to get inside and fix everything. it has my wrist all jacked up (not alligned correctly) and my elbow also.


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## vampiregenocide (Feb 1, 2011)

Randy.

I got a hook in my eye when I was little, almost blinded.


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## jymellis (Feb 1, 2011)

vampiregenocide said:


> Randy.
> 
> I got a hook in my eye when I was little, almost blinded.


ewwwwwwwwwwwww i cringed


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## meisterjager (Feb 1, 2011)

I pulled some hot ass coffee all over me when I was 2 years old. I have big scars on my arm because of it. 

I also done the whole 'patio door' thing, but inverse to normal. Thought the door was shut and went to, I dunno, headbutt it or something. Fell flat on my face. The garden was about a foot lower the the floor inside the house, too.

I was also eating cornflakes once, when for some reason I was convinced I wasn't meant to be. My big sister came down the stairs and I chucked the cornflakes all over the garden and denied any knowledge of why the garden was covered in soggy cornflakes


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## ittoa666 (Feb 1, 2011)

I used to have a really bad habit of holding in my poop until it was horrible. Many toilets were decimated by my massive poo attacks. 

I am champion.


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## jymellis (Feb 1, 2011)

ittoa666 said:


> I used to have a really bad habit of holding in my poop until it was horrible. Many toilets were decimated by my massive poo attacks.
> 
> I am champion.


 
my cousin used to do this!! i could tell when he was "holdin" cuz he would make a odd face


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## ittoa666 (Feb 1, 2011)

jymellis said:


> my cousin used to do this!! i could tell when he was "holdin" cuz he would make a odd face



That shit literally sucks. Thankfully I got over it.


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## jymellis (Feb 1, 2011)

ittoa666 said:


> That shit literally sucks. Thankfully I got over it.


 
did you make "the face"? it was like he got tight lipped and his neck would tense up.


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## gunshow86de (Feb 1, 2011)

ittoa666 said:


> I used to have a really bad habit of holding in my poop until it was horrible. Many toilets were decimated by my massive poo attacks.
> 
> I am champion.



I used to do this too; I was terrified of pooping in a public restroom (oddly enough, never shy about urinating in public). It backfired in middle-school coming home. I got within eyesight of my house, hopped off a curb on my bike, and just made an absolute mess of myself.


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## Konfyouzd (Feb 1, 2011)

Did this thread really happen? 

How funny is he now? 

A little ban sauce to cover up the bitter taste of fail... 

Oh and when I was a kid I used to think it would be perfectly okay to marry my mom when I became of age to do such things...


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## Customisbetter (Feb 1, 2011)

When i was a kid I didn't do anything. My parents thought i was constantly on depressants or something.


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## Konfyouzd (Feb 1, 2011)

ittoa666 said:


> That shit literally sucks. Thankfully I got over it.


 
That sort of thing can be painful to the toilet and the user if you're not careful...


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## ivancic1al (Feb 1, 2011)

When I was 16 we were all at work (outdoor pool with massive 3 story waterslide). On our dinner break we all thought it would be fun to go down the slide more creatively than the proper lay-down-on-your-back-with-arms-crossed way. The slide is a straight shot angled down at 45 degrees it looked like, and we decided to go down standing up. I had a few good runs, (picture a person surfing down a hill of water without a board) then on one of them, my foot slipped, I flipped backwards and smoked my head on the bottom edge of the slide. Slight concussion, head gouged to hell, bleeding all over the place. I had to go the ER wearing my Lifeguard shirt, that was pretty embarrassing. 8 staples to the scalp later and I was back in business. 

My roomate admits to eating sand on many occasions as a child, said his dad used to film him and just laugh instead of telling him to stop


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## Konfyouzd (Feb 1, 2011)

ivancic1al said:


> I had to go the ER wearing my Lifeguard shirt


 


"What happened?" 

"We were playing around in the pool and he almost died..."


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## ivancic1al (Feb 1, 2011)

Konfyouzd said:


> "What happened?"
> 
> "We were playing around in the pool and he almost died..."




Yeah, I had an argument with the triage nurse, who, upon hearing that the incident occurred at work, said: "Oh well here's the workman's Comp forms to fill out if you want to file a lawsuit."

I had to repeatedly explain that it was entirely my fault, that I was jut being an ass on break and I flipped backwards while going down a slide standing up. She wasn't very quick to believe my story. 

Next day at work I got a big reprimand and a "You'd better not think about suing us you asshole" talk from the supervisor. Oops  My spare work uniform still has massive blood stains on it, they refused to come out, likely cause it's still really funny and embarrassing.


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## TreWatson (Feb 1, 2011)

when i was a kid i ripped all the skin off the palms of both hands when i fell off the monkey bars.

and i mean to the point where the skin under it is all pink and sensitive and hurts badly.

yeah, that wasnt very fun :/


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## gunshow86de (Feb 1, 2011)

TreWatson said:


> when i was a kid i ripped all the skin off the palms of both hands when i fell off the monkey bars.
> 
> and i mean to the point where the skin under it is all pink and sensitive and hurts badly.
> 
> yeah, that wasnt very fun :/



Try having that feeling several times a week. Psoriasis sucks dick. And, since I play guitar, it has to be only on my hands. /sobstory


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## ittoa666 (Feb 1, 2011)

jymellis said:


> did you make "the face"? it was like he got tight lipped and his neck would tense up.



Probably, but I can't really remember,


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## leandroab (Feb 1, 2011)

When I was a kid I played with G.I JOEs, LEGO, and PC games 

Actually, I used to do a lot of shit, like mountainbike trails (build our own), run barefoot over gravel and other stone shit that hurt, play soccer, jump from high spots (totally random I know), and other shit. But I never managed to brake a single bone. I was smart


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## techcoreriffman (Feb 1, 2011)

leandroab said:


> brake





leandroab said:


> smart


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## ittoa666 (Feb 1, 2011)

All I did was hold my shit and play video games, with the occasional trip outside or to a friends house. I was never a fan of going outside for some reason.


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## leandroab (Feb 1, 2011)

techcoreriffman said:


>



I said I was smart... 

Also:


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## gunshow86de (Feb 1, 2011)

^
And to think, I was complimenting your English skills earlier this week.


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## leandroab (Feb 1, 2011)

gunshow86de said:


> ^
> And to think, I was complimenting your English skills earlier this week.


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## Grand Moff Tim (Feb 1, 2011)

When I was five I decided to go down a hill on a skateboard on my stomach, skeleton luge-style. The board hit a parking block at the bottom of the hill, sending me face-first into the curb behind it. If I didn't have my goatee, the scar on my chin would still be (barely) visible.

When I was nine, I thought it would be a good idea to try to do a flip on the parallel bars. The problem was, I tried to do it while sitting on a bar facing outward, so I ended up swinging around and slamming my face on the second bar behind me. That scar (on my lip) is all but gone, though, so it's all good. I think my friend was more traumatized than I was.

When I was ten I was taking part in a foot race in gym class. We were running four at a time, with the winner of each heat getting a ball at the start of the impending dodgeball match. I hated that fucking game, so I ran my ass off to ensure I'd start with an advantage. Unfortunately, the folding bleachers on the other side of the gym wanted me to stop running alot more abruptly than my momentum did. I ended up breaking my left radius and ulna clean through, so it looked like I had a second elbow on my left arm. I also busted my cheek open, and was told I'd have broken my cheekbone had I hit it any harder. That scar's the most visible today, and I have friends that have said they couldn't imagine me without it.

But hey, I won my heat! Someone owes me a dodgeball...


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## ZEBOV (Feb 1, 2011)

This topic should be "The Random Mindlessness Topic".

I farted..... It felt hot.....


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## leandroab (Feb 1, 2011)

ZEBOV said:


> This topic should be "The Random Mindlessness Topic".
> 
> I farted..... It felt hot.....



Nice quote on your sig


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## jymellis (Feb 1, 2011)

ZEBOV said:


> I WET farted..... It felt hot.....


 

fixed


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## synrgy (Feb 1, 2011)

Sorry for telling the long version of this, but the short version doesn't do it justice. We're here to share stories anyway, right? I can't recall if I've told this one before, so apologies if this is a repeat. 

In the summer of 95, some friends and I were hanging out at a rope swing out at some creek in the middle of the woods. We were taking turns swinging out over the water and back. For some reason, I was avoiding actually jumping in the water. I just kept swinging out, and back. My friends kept dropping from the rope to the water, and giving me shit because I wasn't joining them. They weren't the types to yell 'chicken' or 'pussy' or whatever, but they were bummed that I wasn't taking part.

Eventually, I caved. I swung out, let go, and landed more or less on my feet in the creek. I took one step back toward land, and I felt something puncture my heel. Deep.

Fuck.

So, I get out of the water, and I start looking at my heel, which is hurting something awful. I can't see any point of entry, and there isn't any blood anywhere. Alright, fuck it. Must be nothing.

I'm standing there, waiting for my heel to feel normal again, when one of my friends shouts "DUDE, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR FOOT?!"

I look down, and my entire foot was covered in blood. Well, that's how it looked, anyway. In hindsight, most of it was just water, as I was still soaking wet. Anyway, red bloody foot is red and bloody.

So I instinctively look at my heel, and still nothing. It's definitely not the source of the blood. Dumbfounded, I start inspecting the rest of my foot, and I can't see anything. Finally, I start inspecting in between my toes, and that's when I found it.

The 'web' in between my 'pointer' and 'middle' toe was completely split. Right up the middle. Gushing. "Oh shit!" I say. I grab one of my socks and begin to apply pressure. Oddly, my heel still hurts but I can't feel any pain from this wound in between my toes.

After a few minutes, I remove the sock and get my first good look, spreading my toes a little allowing my friends to investigate with me.

My buddy immediately shouts "DUDE, YOUR TOES LOOK LIKE A CUNT!!"  The best part is, he was totally right.


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## leandroab (Feb 1, 2011)

synrgy said:


> "DUDE, YOUR TOES LOOK LIKE A CUNT!!"
> 
> The best part is, he was totally right.


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## Scar Symmetry (Feb 1, 2011)

Randy said:


> I agree with everything that's been said in here.
> 
> *This thread is now about stupid shit you used to do when you were a kid.
> 
> Go.*



When I was a kid I use to wear deodorant aged 8 and insist that the word impossible was 'inpossible' and anyone that said otherwise was stupid. I also used to paint my Action Men green for no reason. I was a clever kid.


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## gunshow86de (Feb 1, 2011)

When I was little, my favorite outfit was; 

Superman Pajamas, Cowboy boots with pajama bottoms tucked inside the boot to display maximum boot awesomeness, Ninja Turtle mask (tell me you guys remember them, had a green plastic snout with a bandanna eye covering that tied in the back, I had all 4 ), and I'd draw a beard on my face with a permanent marker. I'd take my Batman big-wheel for a spin in that ensemble. Shit, I was badass.


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## ittoa666 (Feb 1, 2011)

I just took a dump. It was half and half.


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## Randy (Feb 1, 2011)

Konfyouzd said:


> Oh and when I was a kid I used to think it would be perfectly okay to marry my mom when I became of age to do such things...



I kinda thought the same thing actually.


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## lobee (Feb 1, 2011)

Up until the winter I was 11 years old, a friend and I used to explore the frozen Milwaukee river. Some years the river would be at least 6 inches thick, others open water flowed through the middle, but left the banks thick enough for two children to tread. We'd always test our limits creeping up to the middle and freezing like deer in headlights staring wide-eyed at each other when we heard the ice crack and pop under our feet. Once we even successfully jumped over the 2 foot wide open section of water to cross to the other side. We always made it back to his house dry, so eventually the danger didn't register anymore.

Now it's 1996 and I'm a bandwagon Dallas Cowboys fan in Wisconsin wearing a puffy, three-sizes-too-large Starter jacket. You know the one I'm talking about. The awful pullover with sections of the team colors haphazardly thrown together to form a "design". It was the one that every kid had to have in the '90s to the point of hearing stories on the news of people getting shot over them. You thought you were the absolute shit if you had one of these:





Now I'm down by the river again, this time with a different friend, and we're on the bank stomping on and breaking ice like it's our job that we hate but show up to every day despite that fact because, hey, it's a living and there's nothing better to do. It's late winter/early spring, so it had been warm enough that some of the snow melted away and the river, filled with icebergs just big enough to stand on like in the cartoons, is swollen and running fast. Here I am atop a large, thick sheet of ice on the high bank breaking off pieces from the overhang and watching them fall into the river below and speeding away. Not content with that, I start jumping on it because I want to see the whole thing in the river. Maybe I thought I could leap to safety once it gave way, or that I could ride it like in the cartoons, but neither of those things happen. 

The ice breaks in half, with me on the unfortunate side, I go into the drink feet first and at speed, head fully submerged(I'm about 5 feet tall at this age, so this puts the river at more than 6 feet deep because I never touch the bottom). At this point I'm swimming in my jacket as much as I am the river. Somehow, I manage to get to the surface with my head through the proper opening of the jacket, a miracle in and of itself, only to see my friend and only lifeline speeding away from me. I immediately try to swim to the bank, but the swift river is pulling me hard. I get there eventually and I'm literally grasping at straws. Long, dead grass is the only thing to hold on to, but it rips out of the ground as I'm pelted by chunks of ice rushing past me in the current. After two attempts, the weeds finally hold my weight long enough for my friend to catch up to me, and at this point my whole body is numb, so I'm not much help to him. If the weeds didn't hold some of my weight he wouldn't have been able to pull me out, not with my heavy, water-soaked jacket. The river probably would have swept us both away. Luckily, though, he pulled me out and I half rode, half walked my bike the half mile or so to my friend's mom's apartment where she gave me a change of clothes and hot soup. 


(tl;dr: Dumb kid purposely breaks ice, falls into icy river.)


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## gunshow86de (Feb 1, 2011)

^
tl;dr

FUCK THOSE STARTER JACKETS WERE AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!  *finds Starter website to see if they are still made*

EDIT: DAMN, DAMN, DAMN!!!! When the hell did Starter become a Wal-Mart brand?

Oh well, thanks for the nostalgia trip anyway.


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## Randy (Feb 1, 2011)

^^
That's a pretty insane story, dude.


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## gunshow86de (Feb 1, 2011)

Okay, I read the story. Just tell me one thing............... was the jacket okay?


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## meisterjager (Feb 1, 2011)

lobee said:


> (tl;dr: Dumb kid purposely breaks ice, falls into icy river.)


 
That right there is the quintessential story of how dumb kids die in cold rivers!


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## aslsmm (Feb 1, 2011)

MaxOfMetal said:


> Nah, he really is humorless. Kinda annoying too.



was max serious? Haha. I noticed he hasnt posted on this thread since. 
Randy kicks ass like chicago from little nicky. Hes had my back since day one so yeah id says hes funny. But i also find jymellis ans synergy funny too. I noticed they were on this thread alot. 

When i was a kid me and my friends would bite each other wieners....... Just kidding. No but seriously we did. Not really but really. 

for reals though when i was a kid i didnt. Like this kid named rudy. We were in 1st grade together and he was a major dick head. One day in class i got out of my desk, walked over to him and farted on his head. Haha. He punched me in the eye and i wondered why.


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## lobee (Feb 1, 2011)

gunshow86de said:


> ^
> tl;dr
> 
> FUCK THOSE STARTER JACKETS WERE AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!  *finds Starter website to see if they are still made*
> ...





gunshow86de said:


> Okay, I read the story. Just tell me one thing............... was the jacket okay?


The jacket was fine. Despite it being three sizes too big, I did outgrow it. Also, when the Packers won the Super Bowl and got back to the Super Bowl again the next year I stopped being a Cowboys fan. It sat in the closet until my mom gave it away to Goodwill because I never wore it and it was taking up space. One does not simply _give away_ a Starter jacket, mom!



Randy said:


> ^^
> That's a pretty insane story, dude.





meisterjager said:


> That right there is the quintessential story of how dumb kids die in cold rivers!



Most of the kids I grew up with and I had absentee parents and when they _were_ there, we'd rather be off doing stupid shit.


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## Randy (Feb 1, 2011)

lobee said:


> Most of the kids I grew up with and I had absentee parents and when they _were_ there, we'd rather be off doing stupid shit.



My childhood was much them same. It was a lot like The Goonies or Stand By Me; adventuring into abandoned factories, railroad stations, caves, etc. If my parents saw how many times I almost got killed in some remote, abandoned building, I'd have been chained up.


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## Cabinet (Feb 1, 2011)

I read these stories and wish I had a more normal childhood, seriously. From birth to the tender age of 8 there wasn't much to do in the quiet suburbs of Falls Church, Virginia. After that we moved to the Republic of Georgia, and my mom being extremely paranoid wouldn't let me walk to the end of the block to the local candy store to by something to eat.

But in our gated home there was this fruit tree that loomed over the driveway. We never ate the fruit from it, so it was common to see fruit lying all over the place. It attracted lots of wasps, and I mean a shit load of wasps. There would be these masses just swarming these fruits. 20 feet away was the front door. So of course I, not having any friends in walking distance, not allowed to go outside of the gate alone, made fun with what I had. I took my little mickey mouse tennis racket and smacked the living shit out of those wasps eating our fruit. Like a massive giant terrorizing a starving populace, I whacked at them mercilessly. But I would only get one hit in before I had to flee inside the house for a minute since they must have been pissed as hell and chased me. This went on almost every day for hours.

I think from my childhood that's the only remotely cool thing I did. Most of my time was spent building with my LEGOs and playing what few N64 games I had.


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## ZEBOV (Feb 1, 2011)

In the 1995-96 school year (2nd grade for me), some kid in another class had already made the switch to boxers, and one day he was wearing shorts and everyone was on the way to lunch, and he had a sudden fit of diarrhea, and it poured down his legs and onto his shoes and even splattered onto the floor. The girl behind him had a noticeable amount of liquid shit splattered on her legs.
Fast forward to 6th grade:
The girl that had the shit splattered on her legs was in my class, and she was being a bitch to me every day starting on the first day of school. One month into it, I had enough, and pointed at her and yelled "YOU HAD LIQUID SHIT SPLATTERED ALL OVER YOUR LEGS!" She started crying, I got suspended for profanity, I came back to school, the principals wanted me to write an apology letter, and I refused to write it because she had been a bitch to me every day and I already gave her what she was owed. Suspended again for profanity and sent to an alternative school.

The public schools around here have 20-something page rulebooks while the county jail has a 4 page rulebook


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## Cadavuh (Feb 1, 2011)

I shit myself several times when I was over the age of 7.


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## GuitaristOfHell (Feb 1, 2011)

What I use to do is run away from psycho-path girls... oh wait I'm still doing that! , wish I was kidding to, my ex is currently in the crazy house . I knew she was bad when my mom said " She looks like something out of a Stephen King movie"   No joke either.


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## stryker1800 (Feb 1, 2011)

ZEBOV said:


> In the 1995-96 school year (2nd grade for me), some kid in another class had already made the switch to boxers, and one day he was wearing shorts and everyone was on the way to lunch, and he had a sudden fit of diarrhea, and it poured down his legs and onto his shoes and even splattered onto the floor. The girl behind him had a noticeable amount of liquid shit splattered on her legs.
> Fast forward to 6th grade:
> The girl that had the shit splattered on her legs was in my class, and she was being a bitch to me every day starting on the first day of school. One month into it, I had enough, and pointed at her and yelled "YOU HAD LIQUID SHIT SPLATTERED ALL OVER YOUR LEGS!" She started crying, I got suspended for profanity, I came back to school, the principals wanted me to write an apology letter, and I refused to write it because she had been a bitch to me every day and I already gave her what she was owed. Suspended again for profanity and sent to an alternative school.
> 
> The public schools around here have 20-something page rulebooks while the county jail has a 4 page rulebook



Schools in the south are fucked up, my biology teacher in 9th grade tried to have me sent to a psyche eval. because our assignment was to do a visual representation of the cycle of life so to represent dead stuff I drew a jolly rogers in the dirt in my drawing. Now me at the time being a extremely quiet goth looking kid who also walks around with a posture like I just got out of the marines or some shit, I tended to intimidate all the black people without actually doing anything so the dude sitting in front of me decides that he's afraid of me because of this drawing and the teacher then thinks I have some sort of mental stability issue.


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## highlordmugfug (Feb 1, 2011)

stryker1800 said:


> Schools in the south are fucked up, my biology teacher in 9th grade tried to have me sent to a psyche eval. because our assignment was to do a visual representation of the cycle of life so to represent dead stuff I drew a jolly rogers in the dirt in my drawing. Now me at the time being a extremely quiet goth looking kid who also walks around with a posture like I just got out of the marines or some shit, I tended to intimidate all the black people without actually doing anything so the dude sitting in front of me decides that he's afraid of me because of this drawing and the teacher then thinks I have some sort of mental stability issue.


Did they think you were a racist, pirate, visigoth?


I, like leandroab, have never broken any bones. 
I don't have any REALLLY stupid stories, none I'm sharing anyway.


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## stryker1800 (Feb 1, 2011)

The dude who started the shit was arrested like two weeks later for dealing, karmas a bitch, but I dunno what they were thinking. In my area black people tended to be afraid of anyone who wore all black all the time, thought we might cast a spell on them or something.

I broke my arm when i was like 4, jumped off my parents bed thinking I could fly like superman and landed flat on my elbow. I've also had one of those big ass red rolling tool boxes fall on me around the same age.


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## Varcolac (Feb 1, 2011)

When I was a kid, I spoke French, played the violin, and wasted a lot of time on videogames. Not a whole fuck of a lot has changed, only got three more languages, five more instruments, and 1,247 more videogames.

One time my friend tickled me and made me laugh until I pissed myself. Embarrasing, yes, but the joke was on him: I was sitting in the back of his dad's car at the time.


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## GATA4 (Feb 1, 2011)

One time I was playing a game with my cousins that was essentially "Cops and Robbers" and I thought it would be advantageous to my exploits as a cop if I set up a trap. I found a skateboard and a baseball bat, put the baseball bat on the end of the skateboard, then thought "yes, this will work...when they step on the other end, the bat will come up and hit them." I wasn't convinced that it would work though, so I carried out a self-demonstration. I jumped on the empty end, and the bat flew right into my face. It just missed my nose (thank god) and instead hit my upper lip, splitting it in half down the little groove thingy. I was bloody as fuck and got a nice set of stitches, along with a rad scar to carry around with me forever .

Also, I'm pretty sure when I was like 11 or 12, I was at my friend's house and we were playing video games. I turned to him and said "dude, check this out." I tried to fart as hard as I could, but pooped myself instead. I spent like three hours in the bathroom after that. Had to throw the pants and the undies away .


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## TimSE (Feb 1, 2011)

randys my fav


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## highlordmugfug (Feb 1, 2011)

Can we add a poll to this thread?

People who have pooped themselves and people who haven't.


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## GATA4 (Feb 1, 2011)




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## Bekanor (Feb 1, 2011)

When I was little I did Tae Kwon Do for a while.


While practising for an upcoming tournament I was entering, I got a little too carried away with being better than everyone else in my class and jump kicked the girl I was sparring with (hated her, such a mouthy, smart assed bitch) in the boob and put her flat on her ass in tears. 

I felt satisfied at the time, but I got my ass kicked in the tournament about a week later. It would seem like karma but for the fact that I was a little kid and they paired me up against this growth spurt giant who took what felt like all of his puberty rage out on me. 

I really want to take up another martial art, either Wing Chun or Krav Maga but it's all so damn expensive, more expensive than gym fees.


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## Bekanor (Feb 1, 2011)

GuitaristOfHell said:


> What I use to do is run away from psycho-path girls... oh wait I'm still doing that! , wish I was kidding to, my ex is currently in the crazy house . I knew she was bad when my mom said " She looks like something out of a Stephen King movie"   No joke either.



You put your penis in this.






Shame and woe to you sir, for Kathy Bates is every man's truest horror.


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## gunshow86de (Feb 1, 2011)

I can answer yes to both poll questions!!!! And more than once for each!!!!!


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## highlordmugfug (Feb 1, 2011)

@ my idea being implemented.


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## Randy (Feb 1, 2011)

Poll added


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## Randy (Feb 1, 2011)

gunshow86de said:


> I can answer yes to both poll questions!!!! And more than once for each!!!!!


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## Tree (Feb 1, 2011)

This is now my favorite thread 

So much poop.


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## highlordmugfug (Feb 1, 2011)

I answered no to bones, yes to poo. I'm not QUITE sure that they situations count, but it's close enough.


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## stryker1800 (Feb 1, 2011)

I vomited once when I was a kid from holding poop in too long.


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## Explorer (Feb 1, 2011)

Wait... if I answer the second question, will my answer be visible to everyone?

(er... maybe I shouldn't have asked that aloud...)

I remember my first week in karate class, and I was put up against some girl in high school (I was in second grade). She kicked me so hard between the legs that I was black and blue for weeks. Sadly, my parents had thought the cup was just a suggestion. 

The weirdest injury I remember was when I was taking northern Shaolin, and I was in training for a tournament. We were going to take a brief break from sparring, and I took a step back and heard this weird "pop!" noise, and felt something stingy. 

I hopped to the side, and pulled off the foot guard, thinking that I had broken the elastic or something. The elastic is fine, but there's this thin cut along the top of my big toe, which makes absolutely no sense from where the elastic was. I grab my foot with one hand, the tip of the toe with the other, and pull the tip back to I can see if the scratch is bad or not...

...and suddenly I'm looking through the ripped tissue and at this weird, shiny sheath of tissue surrounding the joint and bones of my toe, just before the whole thing floods with blood.

I push it back together, and say in a high-pitched, squeaky voice, "Shifu...?"

"Yes, Mr. O?"

"I just ripped my toe in half."

"Let me look. Hmm. Yes, you did. Hey, didn't you dislocate your thumb last week when you were walking on your fingertips? That's two freak accidents! What are the odds?" *laugh*

Apparently the tip of my toe had caught on the edge of the mat, and I had put my full weight on top of my toe, which had folded beneath my foot. I didn't even know that one's toe could fold flat against the bottom of one's foot... but apparently it's not designed that way.

I went to get it looked at, and all these people kept coming in to look at it, but no one was actually working on it. After about an hour I asked the person currently bending the tip back if they were going to do the work. "No, your person will be in as soon as something else finishes up." "Then why are you all traipsing in here?" "Because this is the first time we've heard of something like this, and we all want to see the kung fu toe!" 

Finally they came in to stitch it up... and I come up against one of those problems with my physiology.

Anaesthesia agents get metabolized extremely quickly. 

Basically, I'm laying back, and I notice sensation. I ask, "How long will it take from here?" "Why?" "Because I can feel the needle going through, and now I feel the skin stretching... and now the needle tip has popped out the other side, and the thread is sliding through."

"There's 9 stitches total."

"How many so far?"

"We're on the second stitch. Do you want more anaesthesia?"

"No, it won't work anyway. I'll just watch, so I'm not startled by anything and I don't accidentally kick someone in the mouth."

So, I got to watch them slowly stitch that thing up. The doctor later told me that she was a little nervous, since I squirmed a few times, but the foot itself never moved, which was the point of my watching....


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## gunshow86de (Feb 1, 2011)

I'm surprised by the people who haven't pooped themselves or broken bones. You guys need to get out more.


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## Encephalon5 (Feb 1, 2011)

I've pooped myself a few times. I remember I pooped by accident sophomore year. Thought it was a fart... Luckily I lived within a five minute walk of the school  Things were quite alright.

I did some stupid shit when I was a kid. Ate dogfood to see what it tasted like (rugrats, anyone?), touched hot lightbulbs to see if they were hot, touched stoves to see if they were hot, melted a rubber glove to see if it would be hot(i still have a scar on my chest), poked spiders with sticks to see what they would do(I didn't develop a fear for spiders until reading the second harry potter book)..... I was a curious little fucker. I remember microwaving a biscuit for ten minutes, melting a plastic bowl while making ramen, breaking a plate while pouring salt on it, getting my lip smashed by a screen door. I vaguely remember it actually.... Huh.... Now I'm getting nostalgic 

EDIT: Oh yea, climbed inside of a big ass dumster trash can thing and it tipped over. I dislocated my shoulder some how. I used to skate, I cut myself in between my scrotum and thigh while trying to do a kickflip. I remember swimming in a big ass ditch because i thought it would impress this girl i liked. I was probably 11 or 12 at the time. some buddies and i decided to have a pellet war.  I got shot in the face with a pellet gun and it was lodged in my skull for a day or two.


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## groph (Feb 1, 2011)

Pff. I shit myself a couple of weeks ago. It's not a good day unless you shit yourself.

In Grade Primary (to you Americans that's a year before what you call "first grade" so it's kind of like a grade zero if that makes any more sense. It's like _"kindergarten"_) I full on diarrhea bombed my pants in the middle of class. I got the girl next to me to tell the teacher. I'd do the same today because I'm a boss like that.


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## gunshow86de (Feb 1, 2011)

Encephalon5 said:


> some buddies and i decided to have a pellet war.  I got shot in the face with a pellet gun and it was lodged in my skull for a day or two.



Ahh, good old pellet gun fights. I remember my friend shot me in the forehead once. He came over to see if I was okay and was all like, "does it hurt?" I said, "you tell me." And then shot him point blank in the forehead.  It's amazing how much males can inflict pain on each other and still be best friends.


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## Guitarmiester (Feb 1, 2011)

With all the dumb and crazy shit I've done, I'm really surprised I never broke anything. My worst _"accident"_ was back in kindergarten. My table was allowed to go get a drink from the water fountain and of course I had to race my friends to be the first there. My friend pushed me and I managed to smack my head into that metal door lock that protrudes out of a doorway. I cut my head open and didn't even realize it until the teacher noticed blood coming down my face. I felt my head, saw the blood, and said one of the dumbest things possible... _"is this ketchup?" _

Next thing I know I was sitting in the hospital getting stitched up. They said I was extremely lucky that the door lock was very close to reaching my brain, which could have caused major problems. 

I was still good friends with the kid who pushed me. We slid down the hallways on lunch trays.


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## Grand Moff Tim (Feb 2, 2011)

I once wore white socks with black slacks.


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## ivancic1al (Feb 2, 2011)

^ Oh you animal!


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## GATA4 (Feb 2, 2011)

Encephalon5 said:


> I got shot in the face with a pellet gun and it was lodged in my skull for a day or two.



Dude. Holy feck.


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## ZEBOV (Feb 2, 2011)

stryker1800 said:


> Schools in the south are fucked up, my biology teacher in 9th grade tried to have me sent to a psyche eval. because our assignment was to do a visual representation of the cycle of life so to represent dead stuff I drew a jolly rogers in the dirt in my drawing. Now me at the time being a extremely quiet goth looking kid who also walks around with a posture like I just got out of the marines or some shit, I tended to intimidate all the black people without actually doing anything so the dude sitting in front of me decides that he's afraid of me because of this drawing and the teacher then thinks I have some sort of mental stability issue.


I HATED my school so fucking much. I still hate EVERYONE in my graduating class (I call them my graduating class even though I finished school by being homeschooled). I was getting in fights quite often. I started homeschooling in the 10th grade because I was suspended for "threatening to shoot up the school".... by typing the word "gun" on a graphing calculator. 



Bekanor said:


> I really want to take up another martial art, either Wing Chun or Krav Maga but it's all so damn expensive, more expensive than gym fees.


Krav Maga is completely worth it.


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## Cadavuh (Feb 2, 2011)

Grand Moff Tim said:


> I once wore white socks with black slacks.



Oh yea well I wear long-sleeved shirts under short-sleeved shirts under long-sleeved shirts.


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## CrushingAnvil (Feb 2, 2011)

I took a dump in a tree house when I was 6.

and in a jar.

Poop thread is trve.


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## poopyalligator (Feb 2, 2011)

I think everybody has pooped themselves at least once before. There was one time when i was walking back home in middle school (i think i was in the 7th grade). I had to go to the bathroom really bad and i lived about a half a mile away, so i had a pretty decent amount to walk. I had to go so bad but i kept on going and going. Then finally i was like 300ft away from my house, and i tripped on a rock and as i fell i pooped my pants a little bit. I was so close to home lol.


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## failshredder (Feb 2, 2011)

I used to masturbate a lot when I was, oh, 13.


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## ittoa666 (Feb 2, 2011)

I broke my ring finger on my right hand and the last time I pooped myself was when I was 6 or 7.


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## ZEBOV (Feb 2, 2011)

I've broken my right arm when I was 6, and my left ankle when I was 13 and that required surgery.
I shit my pants just a little bit at school in the 10th grade. It was before the first class started and I was walking in the hallway, I thought I had to fart, turned out to be shit. I went to the bathroom, shit for a good 20 minutes straight (it was as if I took an enema). Wiping was bad. I kept getting shit on my hand because it was all over my crack. Since my boxers were soiled, I flushed them down the toilet and went commando the rest of the day. I was lucky that there was very little shit on my pants and that my pants were black.


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## leandroab (Feb 2, 2011)

This is now the official SS.ORG Piss and Shit Thread


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## gunshow86de (Feb 2, 2011)

^

I've actually never pissed myself (okay, as a baby, doesn't count). I've never been shy about whippin' it out a taking a piss. In fact, I got in trouble for pissing on the playground several times in elementary school. What, was I supposed to walk all the way back inside just to pee? To this day, there are few things in life better than pissing outside. Honestly, don't you feel like a true man taking a drunken piss outside in the cold??


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## Guitarman700 (Feb 2, 2011)

gunshow86de said:


> ^
> 
> I've actually never pissed myself (okay, as a baby, doesn't count). I've never been shy about whippin' it out a taking a piss. In fact, I got in trouble for pissing on the playground several times in elementary school. What, was I supposed to walk all the way back inside just to pee? To this day, there are few things in life better than pissing outside. Honestly, don't you feel like a true man taking a drunken piss outside in the cold??


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## lobee (Feb 2, 2011)

One time my friend, his brother, and I pissed in empty hair spray bottles, the kind you pump with your finger that has the tube going to the bottom, and had a piss spray fight. The plan backfired because it's easy to run away from the piss mist and when you're chasing someone trying to spray them you're pretty much just running through your own piss cloud. Not easily defeated, we got on our bikes and did drive-by piss sprays to kids in the neighborhood.

We also used to shoot bottle rockets at each other and everything. Somehow one of us managed to shoot one into the passenger side window of a car driving down the street. Dude slammed on the brakes and we booked it the fuck out of there.


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## ivancic1al (Feb 2, 2011)

^ Piss spray bottle fight FTW!


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## josh pelican (Feb 2, 2011)

Once when I was a kid, I tried to piss in a litter box. I had to stop because the litter was flying everywhere.


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## Scar Symmetry (Feb 2, 2011)

failshredder said:


> I used to masturbate a lot when I was, oh... wait...



Fixed


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## josh pelican (Feb 2, 2011)

I used to beat up kids named Randy.

I also want everyone to know I went to school with a kid named Gilbert. His mom's maiden name... was Gilbert.


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## gunshow86de (Feb 2, 2011)

failshredder said:


> I used to masturbate a lot when I was, oh, 13.



Don't worry, it's just a phase. You should be over it by the time your reach your 50's.


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## poopyalligator (Feb 2, 2011)

lobee said:


> One time my friend, his brother, and I pissed in empty hair spray bottles, the kind you pump with your finger that has the tube going to the bottom, and had a piss spray fight. The plan backfired because it's easy to run away from the piss mist and when you're chasing someone trying to spray them you're pretty much just running through your own piss cloud. Not easily defeated, we got on our bikes and did drive-by piss sprays to kids in the neighborhood.
> 
> We also used to shoot bottle rockets at each other and everything. Somehow one of us managed to shoot one into the passenger side window of a car driving down the street. Dude slammed on the brakes and we booked it the fuck out of there.



Hahaha that is awesome.


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## JeffFromMtl (Feb 2, 2011)

Nice poll.

I've broken bones, cuz I was a stupid kid. I've broken my nose several times fighting and playing sports. I also broke two of my toes playing soccer. I knocked my front tooth out falling down concrete stairs on a plastic bike-type toy when I was... 3? and it didn't come back til my adult teeth began to grow in about 9 or 10 years later. I also sprained both of my knees playing hockey, and one of them doesn't have any cartilage left in it. Dislocated my shoulder a few years ago playing soccer, and just popped it back in without getting it checked out. To this day, if I throw a football or baseball too hard without bracing my shoulder, it can pop out again, and that hurts like hell!

I also checked off that "I have pooped myself", as well as "I haven't pooped myself".
I figure it was a mix of the two, since I didn't have any pants on. I was about 3 or 4 years old and remember it vividly. I had been taking a bath, and drained the water and was for some reason sitting in the empty tub. Instead of going for the toilet, I shat in the tub . It was a good log, and I'm not sure if that was a good thing or not. If it were a softy, it probably could have just been washed down the drain with the shower head. Maybe. But instead, my mom had to take it out with her hands.

I also just remembered another time, I was about 5 or 6, I can't remember exactly, but it was new years day and I had the flu. It's also a day I remember vividly. I had been puking all day and thought that it was over with, but anyway, I was watching the hockey game (Canadiens vs. the Stars, that's how well I remember it), and suddenly it hit me, and I really had to puke. So I ran to the washroom and got down on all fours and started puking my guts out. Super hard. So hard that I in turn, shat my pants and started crying. My dad came in and lost it when he saw the disaster I was. What a shitty kid.

I also puked in the bath tub twice. This was more recently. In both cases, I was taking a shit, so I couldn't puke into the toilet. The sink was too far and the garbage can was wicker. So I leaned toward the tub, and just sprayed this disastrous stuff all over it. Most notably, the second time, I had eaten cookies around noon, and then pizza at around 6 or 7 that evening. However, when I threw up, I spotted the cookies immediately, but the pizza was nowhere to be found. How the hell did that even happen?

I guess I definitely have pooped myself. Forget the "I haven't" part


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## josh pelican (Feb 2, 2011)

Fucking French people! I'm moving to Montreal. That's where the party's at.


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## Rick (Feb 2, 2011)

Randy, I don't see a "Noodles" voting option.


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## Guitarman700 (Feb 2, 2011)

Epic thread is Epic.


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## Randy (Feb 2, 2011)

Rick said:


> Randy, I don't see a "Noodles" voting option.



Continuing trends from MG doesn't have a great track record here, so far. 

I think our equivalent would probably be leandro tags.


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## Imalwayscold (Feb 2, 2011)

Stepping on a rake just to see if it really did the whole cartoon *WHACK* thing. This resulted in a fantastic broken nose and discovering that yes, they did whack.


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## Encephalon5 (Feb 2, 2011)

Bones. Nose, humerus, talus, thumb, right ankle, left ankle, left wrist. Slamming door, jumping off of slides, getting hit by a truck, running in to a light pole(on my feet), getting hit by same truck, sliding on sand, and skateboarding, respectively. 

I've had fun.


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## ZEBOV (Feb 4, 2011)

Considering the many fights I have been in, I have never had my nose broken.

Omg, I've never paid attention to the tags until just now. LMFAO!!!!


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## Prydogga (Feb 4, 2011)

Wow, from the super boring title, I avoided this thread. WHYYYYYYY. 

Btw, fuck that Randy guy. 

I've never pooped myself, and like Gunshow said, there's no better non-sexual feeling like drunkenly pissing outside.


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## Explorer (Apr 19, 2011)

It's rare that I have these bits of juvenalia to share... but have you ever had one of those moments?



























'Nuff said!


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## Leuchty (Apr 19, 2011)

Can that guy be any gayer?


A while back I was sick and didn't realise that my gas had taken on "liquid" form


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## metal_sam14 (Apr 19, 2011)

I have been super sick from a reaction to some medication and had it dribble out like liquid while asleep...


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## Curt (Apr 19, 2011)

and on a more extreme angle...








totally not the intended use of this meme image but by god it works for me!


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## Meatbucket (Apr 19, 2011)




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## Kodee_Kaos (Apr 19, 2011)




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## BucketheadRules (Apr 19, 2011)

Meatbucket said:


>



SHONO HAS A FRIEND!!!!


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## Wingchunwarrior (Apr 19, 2011)

Meatbucket said:


>



Ok we all know who the guy(GOD) on the left is but who is the other one?......






.......Grank?


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## Meatbucket (Apr 19, 2011)

The other one is a "personified" entity of SS.org.


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## Guitarman700 (Apr 19, 2011)




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## SirMyghin (Apr 19, 2011)

Normally I wouldn't find this funny, but given the source, made it much more hilarious. Yeah I am a dour Killjoy, sure me I am still thinking over the last question of an exam.


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## Hallic (Apr 19, 2011)

How is this turning into a shone thread?


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## vampiregenocide (Apr 19, 2011)

Who is Shone? That some emo band?


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## JeffFromMtl (Apr 19, 2011)

This is really only hilarious because Explorer posted it.


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## Randy (Apr 19, 2011)

Didn't we have a thread about this that even included a poll? I feel like I remember that...


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## JeffFromMtl (Apr 19, 2011)

Randy said:


> Didn't we have a thread about this that even included a poll? I feel like I remember that...



I also remember contributing to that thread. And quite explicitly, at that


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## leandroab (Apr 19, 2011)

Randy said:


> Didn't we have a thread about this that even included a poll? I feel like I remember that...



We did, actually.


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## Randy (Apr 19, 2011)

Get to it, brothers.


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## leandroab (Apr 19, 2011)

Robots shat on my horoscope.


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## Necris (Apr 19, 2011)

Randy said:


> Didn't we have a thread about this that even included a poll? I feel like I remember that...


http://www.sevenstring.org/forum/off-topic/145640-just-me-6.html
Found it.


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## steve1 (Apr 19, 2011)

when i was 11 or so i trod on my own wrist with ice skates on. fucking retard. it somewhat ruined my evening.


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## leandroab (Apr 19, 2011)

poo


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## Hemi-Powered Drone (Apr 19, 2011)

leandroab said:


> poo



DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKIE!


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## Randy (Apr 19, 2011)

I forgot what the OP was to this. Classic.


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## MFB (Apr 19, 2011)

Saw this pop up again, lols were had

A+ bread, will butter again


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## SpottedBeaver (Apr 19, 2011)

HaHa! Randy merged it....

Well, I can proudly say I haven't crapped myself today. Don't know what tomorrow will bring. Never can tell at my age.


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## Randy (Apr 19, 2011)

BTW, since this thread's original inception... I have shit myself. 

Drunk and having ingested a particularly vile concoction of food/beverage throughout the night... I stumbled out of the local pub trying to find a place to puke in the bushes and just as I let loose, I pooted a little bit of liquid shite. I clenched my buttcheeks and we tried to find my ride; only to discover they had already left so I walked a mile home like that. 

Super cool.


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## metal_sam14 (Apr 19, 2011)

Randy said:


> BTW, since this thread's original inception... I have shit myself.
> 
> Drunk and having ingested a particularly vile concoction of food/beverage throughout the night... I stumbled out of the local pub trying to find a place to puke in the bushes and just as I let loose, *I pooted a little bit of liquid shite. I clenched my buttcheeks and we tried to find my ride; only to discover they had already left so I walked a mile home like that. *
> 
> Super cool.



 and that is why we love you Randy


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## tacotiklah (Apr 19, 2011)

Randy said:


> I was such an asshole.





Randy said:


> Nothing's changed.




And this comes straight from Randy.


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## leandroab (Apr 19, 2011)

Randy said:


> BTW, since this thread's original inception... I have shit myself.
> 
> Drunk and having ingested a particularly vile concoction of food/beverage throughout the night... I stumbled out of the local pub trying to find a place to puke in the bushes and just as I let loose, I pooted a little bit of liquid shite. I clenched my buttcheeks and we tried to find my ride; only to discover they had already left so I walked a mile home like that.
> 
> Super cool.



Bahahahaha


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## scherzo1928 (Apr 19, 2011)

Well, I once farted in an elevator to get my friends mad... It was one of those "bubble-farts" though.

My roomate once took a shit on a random bathroom which had no toilet paper. He then put his clothes back on, walked all the way to our building, took a shower and burned his clothes... Not before I took pics of the giant skidmark though.


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## highlordmugfug (Apr 19, 2011)

The poop thread is back!

No incidents to speak of here.


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## highlordmugfug (Apr 19, 2011)

highlordmugfug said:


> Can we add a poll to this thread?
> 
> People who have pooped themselves and people who haven't.





Randy said:


> Poll added


And this is why Randy is the goddamned man.


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## Blind Theory (Apr 19, 2011)

Sadly, this thread makes me wish I had some horrible poop story to tell...boo!


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## highlordmugfug (Apr 19, 2011)

Insackclothandashes said:


> Sadly, this thread makes me wish I had some horrible poop story to tell...boo!







Happy memories, make some.


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## leandroab (Apr 19, 2011)

Who pooed on your dad?


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## CooleyJr (Apr 19, 2011)

When I was on the way to the swimming hole once.. I shit my pants.. and I have no idea where it went, but it wasn't in the car, AND it didn't come out my pant leg...  It was the case of the disappearing dookie.


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## highlordmugfug (Apr 19, 2011)

CooleyJr said:


> When I was on the way to the swimming hole once.. I shit my pants.. and I have no idea where it went, but it wasn't in the car, AND it didn't come out my pant leg...  It was the case of the disappearing dookie.


All this tells us is that someday, whoever buys your used car is going to find a stale turdlette tucked away safe somewhere.


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## CooleyJr (Apr 19, 2011)

highlordmugfug said:


> All this tells us is that someday, whoever buys your used car is going to find a stale turdlette tucked away safe somewhere.



Funny thing was, when we cleaned it out.. I was scared my mom was gonna find it  but it wasn't there...


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## highlordmugfug (Apr 19, 2011)

Crouching tiger, hidden CooleyJr poo.


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## Necris (Apr 19, 2011)

I've never pooped my pants. So I have no stories to share.


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## Explorer (Apr 20, 2011)

Okay, here's the story:

I had to get cleaned out for an upper and lower GI exam. I did the whole fasting thing, liquid diet, and then had to drink that gallon of solution that cleans everything out. I've never had to do this, so I have no experience in what to expect.

With this thing, you wind up drinking 8 ounces of the stuff every ten minutes. It has a weird backtaste, and an unpleasant mouthfeel.

Well, about thirty minutes of starting this stuff, I feel bloated, like I'm a little gassy. You all know what it's like to just vent a little bit while you don't want to get up from a movie, right?

Wrong. Surprise!

Okay, so I just mildly "sharted," so it's not like I flooded my pants or comfortable captain's chair in front of the television, but it was so unlike anything I expected, and I barely made it to the can before things went from unpleasant to the Hoover Dam. 

After multiple trips (I had no hesitation to bolt for the can if I had even a suspicion that something was up), by the time I went to bed last night, I was completely paranoid that I'd wake up at some point to find that I'd had, what I'll call for lack of a better term, "a situation." I was tempted to cover my bed with huge trash liners.

I woke up this morning and had to drink *more* of the stuff. By the time I was finishing up with the last glass, I almost puked from the taste, which would have been a lovely way to spend my morning: me on the floor of the kitchen with the sluices open and gushing on both ends. 

Even though I thought I was done and completely cleaned out, while I was riding over to the facility today I felt that unfamiliar and unwelcome pressure again. I had learned my lesson, and just shifted uncomfortably while I felt and heard everything gurgling *back up* my system. 

At the office: "Do you have a restroom nearby?"

"Sure, but let's just start with..."

"See ya!" 

----

As they were trying to put me under (sadly, I metabolize anaesthesia very quickly, and it's always a struggle when I need something major sewn up or reset), I asked the doctor if people with weight/eating disorders ever try to buy that stuff. "All the time. That's why it's a prescription."

Holy crap (literally)! Can you imagine someone going for this intentionally?

----

Anyway, I normally leave posting about this kind of thing to others, but the idea of my leaping up from the uncut version of "American Psycho" to avoid a fecal Niagra just struck me as such a diversion from my normal life that I had to post about it. I figured you all would get a laugh out of it, and doesn't that make it all worthwhile?

*laugh*


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## Randy (Apr 20, 2011)

Necris said:


> I've never pooped my pants. So I have no stories to share.



Pooping other people's counts too, you know.


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## BucketheadRules (Apr 20, 2011)

Explorer said:


> before things went from unpleasant to the Hoover Dam.



This made me 

Toilet humour > all


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## leandroab (Apr 20, 2011)

"Poop" makes me giggle.


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## Cabinet (Apr 20, 2011)

I shit my pants before. I thought it was a fart but nope, it was a big turd in my pants. I spent about 20 minutes using the shower to try and wash it out.


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## highlordmugfug (Apr 20, 2011)

Cabinet said:


> I shit my pants before. I thought it was a fart but nope, it was a big turd in my pants. I spent about 20 minutes using the shower to try and wash it out.


You should have just taken your pants off.


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## Konfyouzd (Apr 20, 2011)

More ppl here have pooped themselves than broken bones? You weren't pooping yourself in fear of breaking a bone, were you?


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## SpottedBeaver (Apr 20, 2011)

If you haven't pooped yourself, you're lying. Just ask your parents how many loads they had to change.

Back the the question at hand.... I've made it to noon today without crapping my pants. We'll see how the rest of the day goes.


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## Konfyouzd (Apr 20, 2011)

SpottedBeaver said:


> If you haven't pooped yourself, you're lying. Just ask your parents how many loads they had to change.
> 
> Back the the question at hand.... I've made it to noon today without crapping my pants. We'll see how the rest of the day goes.


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## metal_sam14 (Apr 20, 2011)

Story time!
I posted this recently but the thread went south so here goes again:

A few months back I was on some medication for a skin condition, turns out I had a hypersensitive reaction to it (which involved spewing 8-9 times at work, once all over the staffroom floor) and passing out in my bosses office. so I get home, go to bed, wake up feeling like I need to fart, and instead of gas, pure liquid shit just runs out onto the bed, literally like taking a short piss from my arse hole. this repeated itself a few times the next day as well. in the end, I sat outside the toilet with a bucket in case I spewed, and my pants already unbuttoned in case i had to fart/shit.

Needless to say I asked the doc to find me a different medication


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## josh pelican (Apr 20, 2011)

metal_sam14 said:


> Story time!
> I posted this recently but the thread went south)



So did your poop.


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## metal_sam14 (Apr 20, 2011)

josh pelican said:


> So did your poop.



 Good call my friend, well played


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## caskettheclown (Apr 20, 2011)

I cut the whiskers off of all my cats and then put one of them in weird places like the washing machine and microwave.

I DIDN"T TURN THE APPLIANCES ON



Edit- wow thanks for the neg rep. Damn I was a little kid and didn't know any better. Seriously I love animals now


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## Explorer (Apr 20, 2011)

metal_sam14 said:


> ...pure liquid shit just runs out onto the bed, literally like taking a short piss from my arse hole. this repeated itself a few times the next day as well.



For what it's worth, I probably wouldn't have laid down in bed again for a while,, especially if it meant laying in your own feces, but you are a man for sticking to your guns and staying there.

That's hardcore.


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## metal_sam14 (Apr 20, 2011)

Explorer said:


> For what it's worth, I probably wouldn't have laid down in bed again for a while,, especially if it meant laying in your own feces, but you are a man for sticking to your guns and staying there.
> 
> That's hardcore.



ah, probably should have mentioned I moved to the couch and had a shower


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