# To grow mutton chops or not to grow mutton chops? That is the question.



## will_shred (Apr 17, 2014)

What say ye, SSO?


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## stevexc (Apr 17, 2014)

Sorry, was there supposed to be a question? Because all I see is "I should grow mutton chops like a REAL MAN".


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## AxeHappy (Apr 17, 2014)

No. You should grow a real beard.


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## sage (Apr 17, 2014)

No. You either grow a manly beard like the sexy mofo to the immediate left of this post or you shave daily. There is no in-between.


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## asher (Apr 17, 2014)

sage said:


> No. You either grow a manly beard like the sexy mofo to the immediate left of this post or you shave daily. There is no in-between.


 
Sage's advice is... um... sage.


_plzdontkillme_


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## will_shred (Apr 17, 2014)

Geez guys, I was just asking a question no need to get snippy


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## Hollowway (Apr 17, 2014)

Lots of people have beards. Very few have mutton chops. I say dare to be different. Dare to rock the chops!


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## Explorer (Apr 17, 2014)

If you have time to raise a lamb, and space, then I say there's nothing more metal than growing your own mutton.


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## Hollowway (Apr 17, 2014)

I really can't believe how many people on here are voting No on mutton chops. I honestly thought I'd be in here posting that it's a stupid thread idea, because it's a given we'd all say go for it. WTF? Everyone's into the mustache thing, and it's now in full hipster mode. The mutton chops are the first thing to combat that, I say. Lemmy has mutton chops. You just don't get any more metal and non-conformist than that. 

And Will, when you grow these, promise yourself you'll give it a solid 2 or 3 months before deciding on whether to keep them. Based on the voting here, at the outset any self doubt, added to the the preconceptions of others, will likely cause you to garner a lot of negative feedback. But after you are comfortable in your own skin (chops?), you'll have that self confidence that will make people see you and start wanting to do it on their own.


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## Necris (Apr 17, 2014)

Yes. If it turns out mutton chops are a horrible idea that bring shame upon your family, shave them.


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## Captain Shoggoth (Apr 17, 2014)

I'm a full beard guy myself but if you can rock the chops, you have to

edit: 1000th post, woohoo!


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## Xaios (Apr 17, 2014)

It's a gargantuan mistake that will ruin your life, frighten children and bruise fruit.


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## crg123 (Apr 17, 2014)

Do it! You won't! Also you definitely won't take pictures of it when you do! Nope. I know you won't do that and show us said non existent photographs.... Please do...


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## Svava (Apr 17, 2014)

If your beard is so neat and "tame" that you can identify individual sections of it, you're doing beard wrong.


Beard is face hair.

There isn't a "mutton chop" and a "mustache" and whatever all this pansy crap is.

Either don't have facial hair, or grow a beard that a seagull could raise a family in like a man. -,-


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## Joose (Apr 18, 2014)

I've known 4 people with chops. All 4 had swastika tattoos. Coincidence? Probably; goddamn South.

Either way... beard. And not because it somehow became a trend over the past couple years, but because the trend will go away and compliments will go back to coming from women who know what a real man looks like. And metalheads probably. 

I've grown tired of people in fedoras and vests doing the complimenting.


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## HUGH JAYNUS (Apr 18, 2014)

Dont be a communist. Grow the damn chops!


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## Hollowway (Apr 18, 2014)

Joose said:


> I've grown tired of people in fedoras and vests doing the complimenting.



+1
I saw you avatar, and if I weren't on my phone I'd make a:

"I don't always wear fedoras and vests...

But when I do, please kick my ass."


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## caskettheclown (Apr 18, 2014)

If you just utterly refuse to have beard an option.


Then go with the chops.


I rock a beard partially because I love beards and partially because my girlfriend loves it even more ...


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## Joose (Apr 18, 2014)

Hollowway said:


> +1
> I saw you avatar, and if I weren't on my phone I'd make a:
> 
> "I don't always wear fedoras and vests...
> ...



My avatar is actually Neil deGrasse Tyson, but I can see now how it looks like the Dos Equis guy haha. Assuming that's what you were getting at.


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## Murmel (Apr 18, 2014)

Hollowway said:


> I really can't believe how many people on here are voting No on mutton chops. I honestly thought I'd be in here posting that it's a stupid thread idea, because it's a given we'd all say go for it. WTF? Everyone's into the mustache thing, and it's now in full hipster mode. The mutton chops are the first thing to combat that, I say. Lemmy has mutton chops. You just don't get any more metal and non-conformist than that.
> 
> And Will, when you grow these, promise yourself you'll give it a solid 2 or 3 months before deciding on whether to keep them. Based on the voting here, at the outset any self doubt, added to the the preconceptions of others, will likely cause you to garner a lot of negative feedback. But after you are comfortable in your own skin (chops?), you'll have that self confidence that will make people see you and start wanting to do it on their own.



I voted no because I think it looks absolutely horrible


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## sniperfreak223 (Apr 18, 2014)

Well, I do reverse mutton chops (no sideburns just a super-long goatee like a proper thrasher ala Dime, Scott Ian and KFK), so...I guess I say nay?


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## UnderTheSign (Apr 18, 2014)

Do it. Mutton chops and sideburns rule. Screw the neckbeards!


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## DISTORT6 (Apr 18, 2014)

Yes. Just one, though.


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## Varcolac (Apr 18, 2014)

As someone who rocked ginger mutton chops for 6 months before I realized they looked absolutely ridiculous, I say no. 

Instead, you need _friendly_ mutton chops. A marked improvement. For example:






Try-hard. Grrr, I'm Wolverine, feel my angst and indestructible regenerative adamantium claw-boredom. Even Hugh Jackman can't make these look good.





Legend.


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## mr_rainmaker (Apr 18, 2014)

grow some hair ya hippy....


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## flexkill (Apr 18, 2014)

Just remember dude....Anything short of a Charlie Starr is a FAIL!


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## pink freud (Apr 18, 2014)

Here's what you do: Grow a full beard, and then shave into the chops. If they make you face look too wide or something shave them off as well and now you are back where you started, but a little more knowledgeable.


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## neotronic (Apr 18, 2014)

If you like mutton chops, there is no reason to not to grow them.


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## Svava (Apr 18, 2014)

flexkill said:


> Just remember dude....Anything short of a Charlie Starr is a FAIL!



It's like... he has... two beards or ....

WOW


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## Hollowway (Apr 18, 2014)

Joose said:


> My avatar is actually Neil deGrasse Tyson, but I can see now how it looks like the Dos Equis guy haha. Assuming that's what you were getting at.



"I don't always host Cosmos...

But when I do people say I look like Neil deGrasse Tyson."


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## Explorer (Apr 18, 2014)

I can't believe how many are arguing against mutton chops...






Deee-lish!


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## Choop (Apr 18, 2014)

Definitely at least make sure your facial hair is thick enough for it...wiry chops aren't cool (nor is pretty much any wiry facial hair really IMO). If so, then totally try it!


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## ilyti (Apr 18, 2014)

flexkill said:


> Just remember dude....Anything short of a Charlie Starr is a FAIL!


I was going to post Yngwie's awful mutton chops but you found an even more terrifying example and stronger deterrent than I had in mind. 

DON'T DO IT!


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## Watty (Apr 18, 2014)

Can you grow a full beard?

If no, don't go with chops.
If yes, grow a full beard.


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## will_shred (Apr 18, 2014)

Hollowway said:


> I really can't believe how many people on here are voting No on mutton chops. I honestly thought I'd be in here posting that it's a stupid thread idea, because it's a given we'd all say go for it. WTF? Everyone's into the mustache thing, and it's now in full hipster mode. The mutton chops are the first thing to combat that, I say. Lemmy has mutton chops. You just don't get any more metal and non-conformist than that.
> 
> And Will, when you grow these, promise yourself you'll give it a solid 2 or 3 months before deciding on whether to keep them. Based on the voting here, at the outset any self doubt, added to the the preconceptions of others, will likely cause you to garner a lot of negative feedback. But after you are comfortable in your own skin (chops?), you'll have that self confidence that will make people see you and start wanting to do it on their own.




My thinking exactly! I was kind of surprised at how many people took this really seriously and said that anything less than a beard is some kind of cardinal sin  like, chill out! it's just facial hair. Plus, even if they think it's a stupid idea who would vote no to me potentially making an ass out of myself?  Also, this is just my opinion but I think the ability to rock off-color styles is something that people can respect and no, I don't mean a fedora and vest. I mean for example; on Halloween I went to a basement punk show wearing an argyle sweater, jeans, and supra flat tops because it was cold and that's just what I happened to throw on. Some people actually gave me shit for it, some people told me it was ....ing cool, and a really attractive chick was all over me, and she told me it was because she found it attractive that I "had the guts" to ware a tacky sweater to a punk show. 

It's all about confidence in what your wearing (to a degree)  

Also I can't believe that this thread seems to have blown up into a circlejerk of beards (No offense to my bearded friends).


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## Necris (Apr 18, 2014)

I have a beard, I support the chops! 


However, the mustache wax thread was embarrassing.


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## Alimination (Apr 18, 2014)

Just came back from Motorhead yesterday. So I say Yes go for it


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## Joose (Apr 18, 2014)

will_shred said:


> Also I can't believe that this thread seems to have blown up into a circlejerk of beards (No offense to my bearded friends).



You really can't believe that? I'm fairly certain half of this forum's members are bearded. Also, .... you! 

I kid...

But my honest opinion is that chops look funny. Every time I see someone with them, I think "That man's got a good sense of humor".


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## snowblind56 (Apr 18, 2014)

I had a beard last night. Then I got bored. Now I have a bitchin handle bar mustache.


All great men have mustaches...


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## Necris (Apr 18, 2014)

A beard has a built in mustache.


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## Joose (Apr 18, 2014)

Beards: Too Hip For Their Own Good | I Fucking Love Science


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## abandonist (Apr 19, 2014)

Mutton chops are for wanna be punkers in their mid-30s.


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## will_shred (Apr 19, 2014)

Joose said:


> You really can't believe that? I'm fairly certain half of this forum's members are bearded. Also, .... you!
> 
> I kid...
> 
> But my honest opinion is that chops look funny. Every time I see someone with them, I think "That man's got a good sense of humor".




All I'm saying is that facial hair usually doesn't say anything about a person. However, I do have a good sense of humor about myself. "Shame" isn't something that comes easily to me  I'm doing it partly for the sillyness of the chops.


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## BucketheadRules (Apr 19, 2014)

Hollowway said:


> Lots of people have beards. Very few have mutton chops.



Have you ever stopped to wonder why this might be the case?


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## Hollowway (Apr 19, 2014)

BucketheadRules said:


> Have you ever stopped to wonder why this might be the case?



Touché!  But I still like the idea that they're unpopular. But I have this thing where I hate thoughtless conformity to the point that popular standards have an equal, but opposite, effect on me. I think I may be the wannabe punker in his 30's abandonist was talking about.


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## HUGH JAYNUS (Apr 19, 2014)

if you keep it going you can have a NBD: New Beard Day

and reap the +rep for your manliness


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## will_shred (Apr 19, 2014)

The vote is now exactly 33 yes, 33 no


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## Watty (Apr 19, 2014)

will_shred said:


> *All I'm saying is that facial hair usually doesn't say anything about a person.* However, I do have a good sense of humor about myself. "Shame" isn't something that comes easily to me  I'm doing it partly for the sillyness of the chops.



Are you serious with that sentiment?!

I'm a cynical bastard for sure, and judgmental to boot....but to say that a person's outward appearance (within their direct control, of course) doesn't say anything about them as a person is to show a callous disregard for the truth, be it socially oriented or otherwise. I hope I don't sound overly condescending, but this all too common mentality is a pet peeve of mine, especially seeing as how so many people give me shit for vocalizing certain pre-judgments when the only difference is the fact that I gave them voice instead of keeping them to myself.

To that end (and to reinforce what I clarified earlier), anything that is not a consequence of your biology (i.e. skin color, gender, race, et cetera) is fair game in evaluating what sort of person you are and other people have the explicit right to make judgements about it. Having a good humor about how people perceive you as the result of your actions (with regards to your appearance in this case) says nothing about their ability to create said opinions in the first place. People who have posted in this thread, myself included, have alluded to the fact that this sort of facial hair says a lot about how you want people to perceive you with no other information at their disposal.

Of course I could reading a bit far into the facial hair aspect of this issue on the whole, but when you carry the mentality into other arenas of one's appearance, people's willingness to be disingenuous about it tends to irk me....hence the mini rant.

Edit: For the record, the facial hair on the guy pictured at the top of this page looks like absolute garbage.


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## Hollowway (Apr 19, 2014)

Yeah, but Watty you could have multiple personalities wearing a beard or moustache, right? Like, if I say I saw a guy with a moustache, there isn't much you can tell me about him, is there?


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## BlackMastodon (Apr 19, 2014)

I say go for it, though I do firmly believe that if you're gonna grow some kind of facial hair it's a good idea to start with the full beard and shave what you want when it's sufficiently thick, otherwise it looks a little weird when it's all wispy or stubbly.


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## will_shred (Apr 19, 2014)

BlackMastodon said:


> I say go for it, though I do firmly believe that if you're gonna grow some kind of facial hair it's a good idea to start with the full beard and shave what you want when it's sufficiently thick, otherwise it looks a little weird when it's all wispy or stubbly.



That's what I did


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## Watty (Apr 19, 2014)

Hollowway said:


> Yeah, but Watty you could have multiple personalities wearing a beard or moustache, right? Like, if I say I saw a guy with a moustache, there isn't much you can tell me about him, is there?



Of course there are varying degrees of interpretation that are directly correlated (in this example) the the commonplace nature of their presence in a population, but then again, you could infer certain things about the person based on the type of mustache. 

I was just at Ikea and saw an employee that had a full on "twirly sir" (TM, of course) mustache...you can't tell me that you wouldn't infer certain things having witnessed that.


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## abandonist (Apr 20, 2014)

will_shred said:


> All I'm saying is that facial hair usually doesn't say anything about a person. However, I do have a good sense of humor about myself. "Shame" isn't something that comes easily to me  I'm doing it partly for the sillyness of the chops.
> 
> Here's where I am as of yesterday. I think I might have taken a bit to much off the chin area



You shouldn't grow mutton chops. Not because they're terrible, but because your facial hair game is not even in the area code of pulling it off. 

Thin, patchy beards are horrible and just look like someone's trying too hard.


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## BrailleDecibel (Apr 20, 2014)

I say go for it, might as well try something different and see what happens.


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## Hollowway (Apr 20, 2014)

He just started with the 'chops, so they might fill in better. But I do think the haircut will look a little odd with them.


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## flint757 (Apr 20, 2014)

The transitional stage wouldn't look as bad if you just go with the beard for a couple of weeks and then shape it once it is completely full. You said you did that, but that picture, if that's you, disagrees. That's the kind of facial hair I get after a couple of days and even for me my facial hair below my sideburns just doesn't grow as well as my chin and mustache. Give it a shot, sure, but me thinks you may need to wait until you're older and can actually grow a descent beard before venturing into new waters (not an insult, just an observation).


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## Watty (Apr 20, 2014)

abandonist said:


> Thin, patchy beards are horrible and just look like someone's trying too hard.



SO MUCH ....ING THIS.

Guys, if you can't grow a beard, you can't grow a beard. Walking around with a patchy bit of "hair" on your face doesn't make you look more masculine, it makes you look like you're twelve and just discovered peach fuzz.

Edit: Coming from a guy who can't, so take from that what you will.


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## will_shred (Apr 20, 2014)

Some of you really need to _grow_ a sense of humor. It must take a lot of effort to be that bitter. 




To the dudes who were actually offering advice, kudos. Though people really fail to understand one thing, I do not take myself seriously at all. I can't emphasize that point enough. Dudes are getting a bug up their ass because I wanted to have goofy facial hair? Come on.


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## Nonservium (Apr 20, 2014)

My vote is yes. You should strive to outdo the gentleman singing this song.


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## HUGH JAYNUS (Apr 20, 2014)

Do it. When someone asks why? Cuz Fvck you. Thats why. And freedom. Cuz you aint no damn commy


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## Watty (Apr 20, 2014)

will_shred said:


> Some of you really need to _grow_ a sense of humor. It must take a lot of effort to be that bitter.



Well, I did preface my statement earlier by saying I'm a cynical bastard....so there's that.


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## will_shred (Apr 20, 2014)

Lol yeah, I understand that you and Abandonist are extremely cynical characters. 

But shit like this.



> You shouldn't grow mutton chops. Not because they're terrible, but because your facial hair game is not even in the area code of pulling it off.
> 
> Thin, patchy beards are horrible and just look like someone's trying too hard.





> Mutton chops are for wanna be punkers in their mid-30s.





> Sorry, was there supposed to be a question? Because all I see is "I should grow mutton chops like a REAL MAN".






Comments like these do nothing but spread bad vibes, ya know? There's a difference between constructive criticism and... this.


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## Hollowway (Apr 20, 2014)

abandonist is what we'd call _chaotic good_ back in my D&D days. His comments used to piss me off, because he didn't appear to play well with others. But I've come to respect his philosophy, however different from mine it is. He'd also be the first to tell you to do whatever you want, and screw what others think. And the first guy to show up with mutton chops and say that he did it because he decided to do it. 

But yeah, I would have had no idea that a poll on whether to grow mutton chops or not would have been as contentious as an Eric Christian thread.


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## flint757 (Apr 20, 2014)

I couldn't care less what anybody does with their hair. _You_ asked a question and _you_ put up a poll to which we all responded (opinions and such). You really shouldn't be that bothered that people have different opinions. There'd be no point in you starting this thread at all if the expectation was that we all just needed to agree with you in the first place. If the reasons people give you for doing or not doing it isn't compelling then ignore them, but you did in fact ask. Which leads me to the question, what was the point if you're going to get equally bothered that some people think they look stupid?

Do whatever you want. At the end of the day I'm sure most of us couldn't care less. I sincerely doubt anyone is upset or 'bitter' about it either as it probably doesn't affect us in any way (unless your facial hair brings about the apocalypse ).


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## Hollowway (Apr 20, 2014)

flint757 said:


> unless your facial hair brings about the apocalypse.



_This week, on Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D...._


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## will_shred (Apr 20, 2014)

> But yeah, I would have had no idea that a poll on whether to grow mutton chops or not would have been as contentious as an Eric Christian thread.




My point exactly


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## abandonist (Apr 21, 2014)

will_shred said:


> Some of you really need to _grow_ a sense of humor. It must take a lot of effort to be that bitter



You asked. Don't be a pussy about the answers.


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## Joose (Apr 21, 2014)

will_shred said:


> Some of you really need to _*grow*_ a sense of humor. It must take a lot of effort to be that bitter.



I see what you did there; and I approve. 

Also, I hope my comments didn't fall into the bitter category, as the only facial hair I don't approve of.... is no facial hair. 

And like I said earlier, whenever I see chops, I just know that guy is someone with a good sense of humor. They look funny to me; not because they look stupid, but because they're as "out there" as a twisted 'stache was, before the hipsters were old enough for facial hair.


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## dedsouth333 (Apr 21, 2014)

Honestly, I didn't even read the OP before I voted yes as quickly as I could.

The world needs more mutton!


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## Hollowway (Apr 21, 2014)

I feel like I'm watching the internet as the counties are calling in their votes during an election. Mutton chops FTW with 70% of the counties reporting!


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## Varcolac (Apr 21, 2014)

Hollowway said:


> I feel like I'm watching the internet as the counties are calling in their votes Duong an election. Mutton chops FTW with 70% of the counties reporting!



I demand a recount. Republicans are making it difficult for people in impoverished areas to make it to the polls. Don't make me take this to the Supreme Court...

I didn't think mutton chops would be so popular in Florida.


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## necronile (Apr 21, 2014)




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## Nats (Apr 21, 2014)

If that's what Andre the Giant had I say go for it. But only if you speak like him.


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## Joose (Apr 21, 2014)

necronile said:


>



 That was on a few days ago. And yes, I watched it.


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## feraledge (Apr 22, 2014)

Answer: NO, but immediately comes to mind.


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## vilk (Apr 23, 2014)

Do you have a gf/wife? Yes? Then yes.
Are you single but hoping to get laid? Yes? Then no.
Are you single, gainfully employed, but don't care about sex or employment? Yes? - then yes.
Are you single but waiting for that special, special, very special needle on the haystack? Yes? - then maybe. Maybe.


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## UnderTheSign (Apr 23, 2014)

vilk said:


> Do you have a gf/wife? Yes? Then yes.
> Are you single but hoping to get laid? Yes? Then no.
> Are you single, gainfully employed, but don't care about sex or employment? Yes? - then yes.
> Are you single but waiting for that special, special, very special needle on the haystack? Yes? - then maybe. Maybe.


I had pretty long sideburns for a while (slightly smaller than full-on mutton chops) and never had trouble getting laid with them


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## wheresthefbomb (Apr 24, 2014)

if you have to ask, you probably shouldn't. the only reason to grow mutton chops is if you want them, and if you wanted them you wouldn't be asking the opinions of a bunch of smelly dudes on a guitar forum. I didn't ask anybody if I should grow a beard, I just did it, and though my wife did protest loudly she's a believer now.

that said, you should do whatever the .... you want and be your own special snowflake.


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