# First Date, Where to Go?



## Belleal (Jan 22, 2013)

So, look, this question never seems ta end. 

I'm not so sure I want anything more than friendship, but I accepted the date anyway...maybe I'm still looking for love in the obvious places.

I want friends w/ benefits...But, I'm not sure dating the bartender, cocktail waitress, strippers or other personell, such as clerks at stores, are who I should date. I mean, if I date them shouldn't I find other places ta get my jollies?

I could use some help before Friday!


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## Yo_Wattup (Jan 22, 2013)

Strip club.


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## poopyalligator (Jan 22, 2013)

Go to the movies and try the popcorn trick.


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## Belleal (Jan 22, 2013)

poopyalligator said:


> Go to the movies and try the popcorn trick.



Ya mean, dump it out letting her feel around the bag in my crotch for some popcorn? Obviously, she'll get pissed. What then? Then explain my dilemma?


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## Belleal (Jan 22, 2013)

Son of a Bitch! She just textd me. She's cold, I should come around and help keep her mind off of it.

F>>>>>>>>>>>K!!!!!!!

This is gonna hurt.


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## Demiurge (Jan 22, 2013)

If you are decently acquainted with this person and aren't sure what you want out of it, maybe keep things low stakes- maybe just meet for drinks instead of doing the Italian restaurant + movie/mini-golf thing.


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## Belleal (Jan 22, 2013)

Couldn't think of anything to say. Texted back--yeah its cold

Ohh...this is gonna hurt


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## gunshow86de (Jan 22, 2013)

poopyalligator said:


> Go to the movies and try the popcorn trick.



Be sure to wear your leather jeans.


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## squid-boy (Jan 22, 2013)

Subway. So she can learn how to make you sandwiches.

... I'm going to hell.


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## MetalDaze (Jan 22, 2013)

Belleal said:


> Ya mean, dump it out letting her feel around the bag in my crotch for some popcorn? Obviously, she'll get pissed. What then? Then explain my dilemma?


 
Don't forget to cut the hole in it.


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## Sunyata (Jan 22, 2013)

Set up a volunteer activity with children. Have fun. Win her heart. Get p00n. Get good karma.


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## AxeHappy (Jan 22, 2013)

Your basement.


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## Discoqueen (Jan 22, 2013)

Belleal said:


> Ya mean, dump it out letting her feel around the bag in my crotch for some popcorn? Obviously, she'll get pissed. What then? Then explain my dilemma?



No, I think he meant the trick where you throw a piece up in the air real high and catch it with your mouth. I have employed it on a few occasions whilst courting females.


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## leftyguitarjoe (Jan 22, 2013)

Invite her to the pants party


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## Mexi (Jan 22, 2013)

seriously though, someplace public/casual so there's not too much pressure on you. movie/concert, a public event or something that isn't so serious shows her that you don't want to rush shit.


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## mcd (Jan 22, 2013)

take her to the zoo and watchda monkies dooo itt!


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## Nile (Jan 22, 2013)

If you want to imply friends with benefits there is no greater place to start the convo. ^


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## TRENCHLORD (Jan 22, 2013)

Just invite her over to partner browse the swinger ads on craigslist.
Tell her you are only interested in the dirtiest sounding ones.


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## MFB (Jan 22, 2013)

Isn't the choice obvious?

Make-Out Point.


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## jordanky (Jan 22, 2013)

Titty bar of course. It helped Dane Cook get hooked up with Kate Hudson haha


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## Nile (Jan 22, 2013)

From these suggestions, just ask her outright if she wants to fuck.


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## MFB (Jan 22, 2013)

Nile said:


> From these suggestions, just ask her outright if she wants to fuck.



How dare you? I said _Make-out_ Point, you fool!


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## ittoa666 (Jan 22, 2013)

Don't go to Make-Out Point! The hook handed man will leave his hook hanging from your car!


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## mr_rainmaker (Jan 22, 2013)

Belleal said:


> Couldn't think of anything to say. Texted back--yeah its cold







your gonna be soo lonely....


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## MFB (Jan 22, 2013)

ittoa666 said:


> Don't go to Make-Out Point! The hook handed man will leave his hook hanging from your car!



CURSES!

I'll get you hormone-raging kids some day.


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## Floppystrings (Jan 22, 2013)

Go to her house.


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## glassmoon0fo (Jan 22, 2013)

HOW could you fuck that up? I weep for your peener.  



Belleal said:


> Couldn't think of anything to say. Texted back--yeah its cold
> 
> Ohh...this is gonna hurt


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## MythicSquirrel (Jan 22, 2013)

Belleal said:


> Couldn't think of anything to say. Texted back--yeah its cold
> 
> Ohh...this is gonna hurt









Come on man...


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## Eric Christian (Jan 22, 2013)

Belleal said:


> So, look, this question never seems ta end.
> 
> I'm not so sure I want anything more than friendship, but I accepted the date anyway...maybe I'm still looking for love in the obvious places.
> 
> ...


 
Help? You got it. My qualifications as your dating coach are 36 relationships before my marriage. Alot of this sounds simple and stupid but trust me womenfolk dislike cheap, smelly and rude dudes. Seeing as all men are naturally either dogs or pigs you need to be the opposite of this, at least of your first date. Be sincere and talk slow and relaxed. Nothing less than dinner and a movie will suffice either.

First off, make reservations at a nice place early. Sizzler or Red Robin is not a nice place. Plan on spending 60 bucks, don't be cheap bastard. Don't have more than one drink, don't gorge yourself like a Viking at a feast and be sure and leave a $5 tip. Get some movie tickets to a chic flick as well. Expendables 2 is not a chic flick. 

Hopefully you have a vehicle. Take all the fast food wrappers out, vacuum and wash your ride. Spray some Fabreeze or whatever inside. Make it nice. Or just get it detailed if you're lazy. Go down to the mall and get a new outfit. Wash it 3-4 times first so you don't look like a tool. Also pick up some expensive colonge at Macy's. Don't eat garlic pizza or chili dogs this week. After work on Friday shower, brush and floss. Pay special attention to covering up the pit smell with deodorant and then a final layer of colonge. 

So yeah, make sure you have plenty of Tic Tacs but don't keep them in the package because they make noise and you'll look like a chowderhead. So when you pick her up bring a dozen roses (remember you're not a cheapskate, a dozen roses in like 12 bucks at Albertsons). That right there will take her off guard because in most cases no one has ever done that for her. So while shes fumbling through the kitchen cabinets looking for a vase to put the flowers in compliment her on here attire. Depending on what she says you could also tell her that you are glad you met her. Don't overdo it at this point though.

On the way to the movie/dinner keep the music low (not Slayer either) and chat about pleasant things like maybe pets or something just don't talk about death/war/politics/brutal death metal/porn/guns/snuff films or any of the other digusting shit you normally think about. 

So yeah, at the movie just get sodas and popcorns for each of you. Make sure your phone is off again so you're not that blockhead. Don't talk during the movie. You'll need converstion topics later for the drive home anyway.

Now drive her home. Keep it light. Walk her to the door, tell her thank you and you had a great time and ask please if you can call on her again. Do not go inside even if she asks. From this point on the next date can be anything and the pressure will be off. The whole point is to show her that you can be level 9 James Bond if you want.


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## Atomshipped (Jan 23, 2013)

^ "like" x 10,000


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## Murdstone (Jan 23, 2013)

"It's cold, come over so you can help me keep my mind off of it..."

"Yeah, it's cold."

Uh...?


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## flint757 (Jan 23, 2013)

She was practically begging for it.


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## kamello (Jan 23, 2013)

Murdstone said:


> "It's cold, come over so you can help me keep my mind off of it..."
> 
> "Yeah, it's cold."
> 
> Uh...?



I read the original posts over and over again, and I did't understood it

now that you put it on that way

















THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU DUDE! 

anyways
+1 on the sofa movies if you can ''watch'' them in a private envioroment, if not, pay attention to what the nice mr. Christian said above



although....


Eric Christian said:


> Now drive her home. Keep it light. Walk her to the door, tell her thank you and you had a great time and ask please if you can call on her again. *Do not go inside even if she asks.* From this point on the next date can be anything and the pressure will be off. The whole point is to show her that you can be level 9 James Bond if you want.



but what happens if I want titties now?!


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## Nile (Jan 23, 2013)

OP, whyyyy. Should have replied with, "I'm cold too, maybe we can help each other out."


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## Rustee (Jan 23, 2013)

Eric Christian said:


> Help? You got it. My qualifications as your dating coach are 36 relationships before my marriage.
> 
> _*...*_
> 
> From this point on the next date can be anything and the pressure will be off. The whole point is to show her that you can be level 9 James Bond if you want.



Dude.. You're a genious.


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## tacotiklah (Jan 23, 2013)

Belleal said:


> >I'm cold, come over and help me out with this
> >Yeah it's cold










Sorry dude, but girls do NOT tip their hand that easily unless they REALLY want the D. Your response was right there with "bag of sand" from 40 Year Old Virgin, sad to say. You can still turn things around, but try and be a little more receptive to what she's telling you.


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## skeels (Jan 23, 2013)

Belleal said:


> Couldn't think of anything to say. Texted back--yeah its cold
> 
> Ohh...this is gonna hurt


 







Belleal said:


> Ohh...this is gonna hurt


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## Belleal (Jan 23, 2013)

_Help? You got it. My qualifications as your dating coach are 36 relationships before my marriage. Alot of this sounds simple and stupid but trust me womenfolk dislike cheap, smelly and rude dudes. Seeing as all men are naturally either dogs or pigs you need to be the opposite of this..._, *by Eric Christian.* Really good advice if I wanna hand my penis over on the first date or...I could probably find a good way ta use this as a strategy ta keep her at an arm's length. Well said, Mr. Christian.


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## Belleal (Jan 23, 2013)

skeels said:


>



Loved that flick!


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## Belleal (Jan 23, 2013)

Do not fear my good SSorg mates--I'm likely ta still get some play.

Chicks dig something a little hard ta get (pun intended).

Pizza and beers on Friday. Hellyeah!


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## Belleal (Jan 23, 2013)

Strange ya should say Kamello, THE FUCK IF WRONG WITH YOU DUDE! 

anyways
+1 on the sofa movies if you can ''watch'' them in a private envioroment, if not, pay attention to what the nice mr. Christian said above


She asked me over fer tacos and movies today. I declined. Still in mind ta see them panties! Oh yeah, Hell Yeah!


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## knifefightintheor (Jan 23, 2013)

Belleal said:


> Do not fear my good SSorg mates--I'm likely ta still get some play.


 
I really doubt it.

Also - Did you have a stroke somewhere along the line in life?


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## Murmel (Jan 23, 2013)

This guy is trollin', and I like it.


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## skeels (Jan 23, 2013)

knifefightintheor said:


> I really doubt it.
> 
> Also - Did you have a stroke somewhere along the line in life?


 
First post. 

WELCOME.... to Fantasy Island!


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## squid-boy (Jan 23, 2013)

Or you could just treat her like a human-fucking-being and see what she wants to do and play it by ear.


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## knifefightintheor (Jan 23, 2013)

skeels said:


> First post.
> 
> WELCOME.... to Fantasy Island!



Lol. Thanks.

I was browsing along, and read this thread... I couldn`t turn down the opportunity to tell the OP how truly full of shit he was.


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## tacotiklah (Jan 23, 2013)

squid-boy said:


> Or you could just treat her like a human-fucking-being and see what she wants to do and play it by ear.




This would be too obvious. Therefore we must eschew this idea in favor the typical "she's only good for having sex with me" mindset that too many horny virgin djentards have. Phew, that was a close one guys. We almost got him in a relationship. Virginity has been defended yet again on this glorious day.


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## Belleal (Jan 23, 2013)

I know brahs. I just talked to her again & let her pick the place--again. Problem is we live in the same neighborhood so theirs no ducking away, & I like frequenting where she works. I'm goin' reckless on this one. Its probably gonna hurt--but shit...ya know?!!


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## tacotiklah (Jan 23, 2013)

Belleal said:


> I know brahs. I just talked to her again & let her pick the place--again. Problem is we live in the same neighborhood so theirs no ducking away, & I like frequenting where she works. I'm goin' reckless on this one. Its probably gonna hurt--but shit...ya know?!!



Why? Because #yolo.
I'd save an ice pack for the off chance she kicks you in the balls. Just sayin'...


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## ZEBOV (Jan 23, 2013)

Eric Christian said:


> ...be sure and leave a $5 tip.



Tip at least 10%. Preferably more. Servers also have to tip out to the bartenders and bussers.


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## Belleal (Jan 23, 2013)

Nile said:


> OP, whyyyy. Should have replied with, "I'm cold too, maybe we can help each other out."



If I replied w/ something cheeseheaded like that ^ w/out making it to the first date that means I'm easy. Point--She wags finger I come. HELL NO!!!!!!


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## Lagtastic (Jan 23, 2013)

Any professional or minor league sports teams in your area? That's an easy first date, but can get pricey depending on the sport. 

I've taken a few girls to the gun range to shoot handguns. That usually goes over pretty good, it's something out of the ordinary.


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## sage (Jan 23, 2013)

Belleal said:


> Point--She wags finger I come. HELL NO!!!!!!


That's a pretty special finger wag...


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## avenger (Jan 24, 2013)

Eric Christian said:


> Help? You got it. My qualifications as your dating coach are 36 relationships before my marriage. Alot of this sounds simple and stupid but trust me womenfolk dislike cheap, smelly and rude dudes. Seeing as all men are naturally either dogs or pigs you need to be the opposite of this, at least of your first date. Be sincere and talk slow and relaxed. Nothing less than dinner and a movie will suffice either.
> 
> First off, make reservations at a nice place early. Sizzler or Red Robin is not a nice place. Plan on spending 60 bucks, don't be cheap bastard. Don't have more than one drink, don't gorge yourself like a Viking at a feast and be sure and leave a $5 tip. Get some movie tickets to a chic flick as well. Expendables 2 is not a chic flick.
> 
> ...


This all sounds like good advice if you want to have a terrible relationship... I go for the take it or leave it approach. I don't want to have to change myself to get a girl interested because if I do I will have to act like that for as long as she is around.

Unless of course its just a fuck and chuck. Then do all that bullshit to trick her into sleeping with you.

Yes be nice but also be yourself, that chick is basically telling you to come bang her... go bang her.


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## Nonservium (Jan 24, 2013)




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## BIG ND SWEATY (Jan 24, 2013)

you might aswell give up now dude, im not even sure how you think responding with "maybe we could help eachother out" would mean that you're easy. she probably figures that you're not even really interested based on your reply of "yea its cold"


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## tacotiklah (Jan 24, 2013)

BIG ND SWEATY said:


> you might aswell give up now dude, im not even sure how you think responding with "maybe we could help eachother out" would mean that you're easy. she probably figures that you're not even really interested based on your reply of "yea its cold"



This man knows what's up. 
And since when do guys care about "being easy"? 
A girl you like is telling you that she wants to have sex. Again, girls do not respond the way she did unless there was at least a 99% chance they wanna bone. Instead of taking the free sex, you're sitting there mulling over being easy. Do yourself a favor and drop the white knight act and be an alpha male.


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## kerska (Jan 24, 2013)

First dates are awkward no matter what you do. Go somewhere that you're both a smidge out of your comfort zone. Try some kind of new cuisine and then go somewhere you've never been if dinner goes well. Museums, art galleries, or somewhere that sparks conversation are best.

Be yourself, don't try too hard to impress, and just keep her laughing. Keep it casual, avoid doing cheesy nonsense like flowers and all that jazz. You gotta show you're interested, but don't let on that you're TOO interested. Chicks want you to pursue, but when you show interest but don't pursue all the way that drives them nuts. You got to find the balance of letting her know you're interested but not contacting her constantly and being all in her face.

And don't go in with a bunch of expectations on how the night should go. Expectations lead to disappointment. Just be yourself.


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## VBCheeseGrater (Jan 24, 2013)

Demiurge said:


> If you are decently acquainted with this person and aren't sure what you want out of it, maybe keep things low stakes- maybe just meet for drinks instead of doing the Italian restaurant + movie/mini-golf thing.



min-golf!! that always works in the movies!! you'll end up holding the club together, laughing, then catch one another's eyes. she'll blink a few times, come up close. That's when you put the hand on top of her head and push down slowly


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## flexkill (Jan 24, 2013)

Take her to the movies and cut a hole in the bottom of the popcorn container....the rest is self explanatory....


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## Pooluke41 (Jan 24, 2013)

Straight into the bedroom.


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## m3l-mrq3z (Jan 24, 2013)

flexkill said:


> Take her to the movies and cut a hole in the bottom of the popcorn container....the rest is self explanatory....



It was already suggested, man.


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## r3tr0sp3ct1v3 (Jan 24, 2013)

I'd say stage a zombie apocalypse like scenario. Make her think it's just the two of you left. 

Works for me every time. Don't forget to use the D.E.N.N.I.S system


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## r3tr0sp3ct1v3 (Jan 24, 2013)

VBCheeseGrater said:


> min-golf!! that always works in the movies!! you'll end up holding the club together, laughing, then catch one another's eyes. she'll blink a few times, come up close. That's when you put the hand on top of her head and push down slowly





This ends badly sometimes. If she swings too hard, she could come back and hit you in the nono's.


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## flexkill (Jan 24, 2013)

m3l-mrq3z said:


> It was already suggested, man.



Great minds think alike then, what can I say. haha


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## fr4nci2c0 (Jan 24, 2013)

take her back to your place and show here SS.org


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## Eclectic (Jan 24, 2013)

I find many first dates, even if I know the person, can be very awkward. I thinks its because I would just sak girls out for dinner or whatnot. So recently I asked this girl on a date, and I took her to the art museum in Boston. Went really well, and felt more comfortably since we each knew very little of the pieces there.


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## m3l-mrq3z (Jan 24, 2013)

fr4nci2c0 said:


> take her back to your place and show here SS.org



Specially Shitson's NGDs.

/thread.


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## r3tr0sp3ct1v3 (Jan 24, 2013)

What is a date? 


My mum says " An expensive date is like prostitution but you're not guarenteed getting any. At least wth a hooker, you'd save money and be guarenteed getting some"

I once took a guitar out to dinner.


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## irondavidson (Jan 24, 2013)

r3tr0sp3ct1v3 said:


> What is a date?
> 
> 
> My mum says " An expensive date is like prostitution but you're not guarenteed getting any. At least wth a hooker, you'd save money and be guarenteed getting some"
> ...



Is that really what your mom teaches to you??


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## r3tr0sp3ct1v3 (Jan 24, 2013)

irondavidson said:


> Is that really what your mom teaches to you??



She teaches that women like to spend men's money


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## response (Jan 24, 2013)

You ain't worth the forum members advices/time,

you made my coffee break a sad break.


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## flexkill (Jan 24, 2013)

r3tr0sp3ct1v3 said:


> She teaches that women like to spend men's money


Wow!


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## Belleal (Jan 24, 2013)

Sent out some lovin. All of you all been great but Friday is still lingering... 



squid-boy said:


> Subway. So she can learn how to make you sandwiches.
> 
> ... I'm going to hell.


Definitely going ta Hell. Meet ya then, we'll have some laughs.



leftyguitarjoe said:


> Invite her to the pants party


Still part of the plan



TRENCHLORD said:


> Just invite her over to partner browse the swinger ads on craigslist.
> Tell her you are only interested in the dirtiest sounding ones.


This could work



jordanky said:


> Titty bar of course. It helped Dane Cook get hooked up with Kate Hudson haha


Who?



oriphinz said:


> Movie at the cinema leads to cuddles
> Movie on the couch leads to sex


Not much for everything soft & cute like sugar, spice, & puppy dog tails, but I guess a little of the bad w/ the good is how it all has ta happen


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## Basti (Jan 24, 2013)

So you people are saying girls are real? Haha okay then..


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## Cynic (Jan 24, 2013)

This chick and I are supposed to go out tomorrow, and she asked me to find something to do. First thread that I see is this one. Nice one, ss.org.


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## Belleal (Jan 24, 2013)

Nile said:


> From these suggestions, just ask her outright if she wants to fuck.





Basti said:


> So you people are saying girls are real? Haha okay then..


You two should get together, because both of ya need ta get out more


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## Belleal (Jan 24, 2013)

ghstofperdition said:


> Why? Because #yolo.
> I'd save an ice pack for the off chance she kicks you in the balls. Just sayin'...


I'm thinkin date 2 or 3, at least, before I get a little constant play--very good advice


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## Belleal (Jan 24, 2013)

Pooluke41 said:


> Straight into the bedroom.


I'd go that way quick but we move around the same realm & I wanna have "relations" w/ others, even if this one goes bad


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## Belleal (Jan 24, 2013)

Cynic said:


> This chick and I are supposed to go out tomorrow, and she asked me to find something to do. First thread that I see is this one. Nice one, ss.org.



No problem. I'm pretty sure we'd all eat each other much like tiger sharks struggling to survive, leaving the womb, given the chance.


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## BIG ND SWEATY (Jan 24, 2013)

the fuck is up with the "ta" stuff, its spelled to


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## piggins411 (Jan 24, 2013)

^ Glad it wasn't just me wondering about that


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## leandroab (Jan 24, 2013)

ghstofperdition said:


> Your response was right there with "bag of sand"



HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA

BTW, cut the god damn quadrupleposting man. Use the edit buttom.


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## VBCheeseGrater (Jan 24, 2013)

Reading this thread got me reminiscing. Listen to the folks on here saying "Go for it" or "She's ready". If she calling you telling you shes cold, you've gotta man up and take care of business.

I'm 35 and engaged, and i still kick myself from time to time over the open invitations i said "No" to for some lame reason or was too dumb to realize the offer. I mean, miraculously i haven't ever gone without much - for reasons unbeknownst to me, but still those missed opportunities still pop into consciousness from time to time like "what the _hell _was i _THINKING?!_".

Diner + activity where you can still talk (not a movie) is good for first date BTW. Good luck!!


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## flint757 (Jan 24, 2013)

I had a girl in High School practically beg me to take her home and was completely oblivious to the event until like the next day (back then happened all the time, terrible at reading between the lines). By then the opportunity passed. 

It sucks too because she was smart *and* smokin hot.


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## tacotiklah (Jan 24, 2013)

A wise person once told me:
"In life it's not what you do that you regret most, it's what you DON'T do."

Remember that.


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## flint757 (Jan 24, 2013)

No kidding  The event still lingers in my mind 5 years later...


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## Fiction (Jan 24, 2013)

This is all hilarious.. Carry on.


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## sage (Jan 24, 2013)

On the flip side of the action you've missed out on, that could have been the Herpes Incident... (That's what I tell myself on those cold, lonely nights, anyway).


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## MythicSquirrel (Jan 24, 2013)

Belleal said:


> You two should get together, because both of ya need ta get out more



Man, you did reply with "Yeah, it's cold" to a chick clearly trying to get with you. And then you tried to defend yourself by saying that you were just playing hard to get, I don't think you have much say in this matter.


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## skeels (Jan 24, 2013)

MythicSquirrel said:


> Man, you did reply with "Yeah, it's cold" to a chick clearly trying to get with you. And then you tried to defend yourself by saying that you were just playing hard to get, I don't think you have much say in this matter.


 
"Hard 'ta' get"


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## MythicSquirrel (Jan 24, 2013)

skeels said:


> "Hard 'ta' get"



Oh lawd.


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## knifefightintheor (Jan 25, 2013)

Belleal said:


> I'd go that way quick but we move around the same realm & I wanna have "relations" w/ others, even if this one goes bad



Do you even read what you write?

You sound like a complete fucking moron, because I'm guessing you are.

If you don't know what to do about a girl you aren't even sure you like, try men. Chances are you're playing for the wrong team.

I'm willing to bet the $0.06 in my sweater pocket that you don't even have a girl lined up, you're just shit talking on a guitar forum to make the other guys think you're some fucking "rico suave" or some shit like that.

60 posts and the majority of them are you trying to look all BA in front of a bunch of people you've never met before.

I have 3 posts and I've spent them in shock at how fucking dumb you seem.


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## squid-boy (Jan 25, 2013)

fr4nci2c0 said:


> take her back to your place and show here SS.org



I was snuggling with this girl a while back. And I went to put something on Netflix to watch for the cuddling and tried sneaking onto SS.org for a few moments, she leaned over and demanded, "Pay attention to me," and pulled me back onto the bed. 

It's not a terrible idea.


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## BIG ND SWEATY (Jan 25, 2013)

knifefightintheor said:


> Do you even read what you write?
> 
> You sound like a complete fucking moron, because I'm guessing you are.
> 
> ...



you guys should fight


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## tacotiklah (Jan 25, 2013)

knifefightintheor said:


> Do you even read what you write?
> 
> You sound like a complete fucking moron, because I'm guessing you are.
> 
> ...





While I don't disagree with the overall "wtf?" message, this escalated very quickly. 
I figure this is either trolling or else the guy is going to wake up in 15 years and slap the shit out of himself. No need for me to rub too much salt in the wound.


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## knifefightintheor (Jan 25, 2013)

If it isn't trolling... All I did was write what everyone was thinking


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## Cynic (Jan 25, 2013)

So it's settled. I'm bringing this girl to my house, and we're just going to huff airduster all evening. Don't worry, I'm giving her a ROSE. Perfect.


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## AxeHappy (Jan 25, 2013)

*A* rose? 

You cheap fuck. That better not be dollar store air duster or you won't have a chance. You need to spring for the memorex shit man. Make her think you're James Fucking Bond.


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## avenger (Jan 25, 2013)

flint757 said:


> I had a girl in High School practically beg me to take her home and was completely oblivious to the event until like the next day (back then happened all the time,* terrible at reading between the lines*). By then the opportunity passed.
> 
> It sucks too because she was smart *and* smokin hot.


I think a lot of shyer "nice guys" suffer fromt his. I know I have had my share of missed hookups playing to nice and missing the signals. 

If you think a girl is giving you strong signals don't worry about being a nice guy and taking her out on dates... just go for it chances are she wants the D.

XD


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## MythicSquirrel (Jan 25, 2013)

Please keep us updated on how it goes tonight.


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## Nile (Jan 25, 2013)

Belleal said:


> If I replied w/ something cheeseheaded like that ^ w/out making it to the first date that means I'm easy. Point--She wags finger I come. HELL NO!!!!!!



You took it serious? 

EDIT: Ok I read through the rest of the thread now. The fuck? Why you taking me serious and calling me an unsocial introvert?


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## Belleal (Jan 25, 2013)

Nile said:


> You took it serious?
> 
> EDIT: Ok I read through the rest of the thread now. The fuck? Why you taking me serious and calling me an unsocial introvert?


You're probably a good musician.


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## MythicSquirrel (Jan 25, 2013)

Belleal said:


> You're probably a good musician.



Hmm...


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## Belleal (Jan 25, 2013)

ghstofperdition said:


> This man knows what's up.
> And since when do guys care about "being easy"?
> A girl you like is telling you that she wants to have sex. Again, girls do not respond the way she did unless there was at least a 99% chance they wanna bone. Instead of taking the free sex, you're sitting there mulling over being easy. Do yourself a favor and drop the white knight act and be an alpha male.


HUMP everything that moves is yer game plan, huh?



r3tr0sp3ct1v3 said:


> I'd say stage a zombie apocalypse like scenario. Make her think it's just the two of you left.
> 
> Works for me every time. Don't forget to use the D.E.N.N.I.S system


Stil don't know what the D.E.N.N.I.S system is.



response said:


> You ain't worth the forum members advices/time,
> 
> you made my coffee break a sad break.


I didn't make yer coffee break a sad time--its sad yer here on yer coffee break. Ya can try & deny it but don't blame me.



BIG ND SWEATY said:


> the fuck is up with the "ta" stuff, its spelled to





piggins411 said:


> ^ Glad it wasn't just me wondering about that


Good job! Both of of you have earned the I've never learned of inflection award.




leandroab said:


> HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA
> 
> BTW, cut the god damn quadrupleposting man. Use the edit buttom.


Write a letter ta someone that gives a shit.



ghstofperdition said:


> A wise person once told me:
> "In life it's not what you do that you regret most, it's what you DON'T do."
> 
> Remember that.


That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. You're basically saying the exact same thing. Ya can live yer life happy ya did a number of things, however, you'll live a life of happiness knowing ya didn't do something. More importantly, some day you'll probably figure there was something ya should have done--later, you'll understand the life ya could of had...Perhaps, perhaps, you'll be upset by that. Many people are as the extinguish their last breaths. Its cool, whatever, but its definitely a two way street.



MythicSquirrel said:


> Man, you did reply with "Yeah, it's cold" to a chick clearly trying to get with you. And then you tried to defend yourself by saying that you were just playing hard to get, I don't think you have much say in this matter.





skeels said:


> "Hard 'ta' get"





MythicSquirrel said:


> Oh lawd.



Lil Wayne wants his look back



knifefightintheor said:


> Do you even read what you write?
> 
> You sound like a complete fucking moron, because I'm guessing you are.
> 
> ...


Nice sweater! And ya brought 6 cents to the show. No wonder yer tryin' ta get yer ass kicked. Bet you'll get some sympathy sex then.



ghstofperdition said:


> While I don't disagree with the overall "wtf?" message, this escalated very quickly.
> I figure this is either trolling or else the guy is going to wake up in 15 years and slap the shit out of himself. No need for me to rub too much salt in the wound.


Not gonna try to help you w/ yer misanthropic condition. Its you and only you can figure it out.


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## Belleal (Jan 25, 2013)

BTW--the date went good. We had a nice time figuring out what each of us wanted over some burgers and beers. Date two is set up.


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## Belleal (Jan 25, 2013)

Hey, look at that I have a red dot. WOW! Most can give it but not take it.

HellYeah!Losers!


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## tacotiklah (Jan 25, 2013)

Belleal said:


> Hey, look at that I have a red dot. WOW! Most can give it but not take it.
> 
> HellYeah!Losers!



You have a bright future here.


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## BIG ND SWEATY (Jan 25, 2013)

i think the public ban list should be updated with your banning


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## skeels (Jan 25, 2013)

BIG ND SWEATY said:


> i tink da public ban list should be updated with yer banning


 
Fixed.


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## kamello (Jan 25, 2013)

hey guyz, look, I signed da neg rep


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## Fiction (Jan 25, 2013)

IT GETS BETTER LOLOLOL

y'all homies be trippin' fo ta ladayz, ya gots'ta sho respect ya mean dawg?


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## Cynic (Jan 25, 2013)

Just got back from date. Went fairly well, but it made me realize that I need to improve on my conversational skills. I mean, we talked, and there weren't really any awkward moments, but it still makes me nervous.


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## Nile (Jan 26, 2013)

Ok so is this a serious thread or some retarded way of talking shit?

We give you actual advice but then you turn around and act stupid and call us losers. So I'm going with the latter.


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## skeels (Jan 26, 2013)

To be fair and honest, I didn't give him any advice. 

I just made fun of his speech impediment- I'm sorry, "inflection"...

I don't think this feller needs any advice.


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## gunshow86de (Jan 26, 2013)

Belleal said:


> Stil don't know wat da D.E.N.N.I.S system is.








The D.E.N.N.I.S. System - It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Wiki

Also, try taking her on a boat. Because, the implications..............


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## m3l-mrq3z (Jan 26, 2013)

I have the feeling that we all got trolled.


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## leandroab (Jan 26, 2013)

Ta yer ya ta ta yer yer ta. Ya yer ta yer ta ta ya??

:/


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## metaljohn (Jan 26, 2013)

Wow. This is the best/worst thread I've read in a while.


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## tacotiklah (Jan 27, 2013)

Hey. Hey guise. I haz a date ta nite. Girl ask if she could touch my peen, so I ran and hid under my bed.

DATE WAS A COMPLETE SUCCESS!!!


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## Cynic (Jan 28, 2013)

ghstofperdition said:


> Hey. Hey guise. I haz a date ta nite. Girl ask if she could touch my peen, so I ran and hid under my bed.
> 
> DATE WAS A COMPLETE SUCCESS!!!



give me back my diary.


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## tacotiklah (Jan 28, 2013)

Nope. I found it first. And what the hell is this about raiding your sister's underwear drawer?


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## abandonist (Jan 28, 2013)

Mini Golf is the best first date thing ever.

You get to find a lot out about the person's personality. Are they super competitive, can they take failure, jokes, you're guaranteed to touch each other, etc.


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## Belleal (Jan 28, 2013)

Thanx. I needed that. My bloody nose. Ya all are great. I appreciate ya helping a brother out--I could feel myself feeling a little wall-eyed there for awhile. 










Managed ta get myself some o/t so, I can get some toys in a bit. Thanx again. 

P.S.--I'm not gonna open this thread again, ever. Any real hurt you'll just have ta catch me in the by and by.


Looking forwarding to getting in the pit w/ all of ya again!


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## flint757 (Jan 28, 2013)

Much like ebonics you don't have to write the way you talk FYI.


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## leandroab (Jan 28, 2013)

flint757 said:


> Much like ebonics you don't have to write the way you talk FYI.



Ya man but it's cool


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## skeels (Jan 28, 2013)

Belleal said:


> Thanx. I needed that. My bloody nose. Ya all are great. I appreciate ya helping a brother out--I could feel myself feeling a little wall-eyed there for awhile.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


 
Ummmmm..... 

What?


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## tacotiklah (Jan 28, 2013)

^ I couldn't discern anything from that 'jersey shore meets headbangers ball omgz!' rambling either.


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## BIG ND SWEATY (Jan 29, 2013)

gys dnt h8 da wey he typ, typeng lyk ths is so mch easer ta du nd i thnk its prty ez ta reed.


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## knifefightintheor (Jan 30, 2013)

See, I think had he stayed in school, he would have 

a) Sounded moderately intelligent
2) Likely have gone to health class, knowing where to "put it"


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## m3l-mrq3z (Jan 30, 2013)

Belleal said:


> Thanx. I needed that. My bloody nose. Ya all are great. I appreciate ya helping a brother out--I could feel myself feeling a little wall-eyed there for awhile.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Why do you spell "to" like that?!?!?!


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## knifefightintheor (Jan 31, 2013)

Cause. He's Speshl-B.


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