# Rick Santorum Declares War On Heavy Metal



## BlindingLight7 (Feb 10, 2012)

Resposting from facebook.



> Rick Santorum has been on the offensive lately, but his target has not been Republican frontrunner Mitt Romney or even President Barack Obama. For the past week, Santorum has been using his campaign to take aim at an issue he feels to be the single most dangerous force in America today: Satanism in heavy metal. &#8220;If you listen to the radio today, many of these brand new, so-called heavy metal music bands like Black Sabbath, Venom, The WASP and Iron Maiden use satanic imagery to corrupt the minds of young people,&#8221; announced Santorum at a 10,000 dollar a plate sock-hop in Valdosta, Georgia on Thursday.
> Santorum&#8217;s popularity in the polls has grown substantially since he began speaking out against metal and its assault on traditional values. He has spent much of the past week in the Midwest encouraging young people to stay away from metal artists and listen to performers like Michael W. Smith and Pat Boone. *In a recent Gallup Poll, 87 percent of Republican voters think that the biggest problem in America today is &#8220;the demented bloodlust of teenagers caused entirely by heavy metal music.&#8221;*


Source: Rick Santorum Declares War On Heavy Metal « The Tyranny of Tradition

What the fuck is this shit? I declare war on Rick Santorum.


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## xmetalhead69 (Feb 10, 2012)

what a twat


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## poopyalligator (Feb 10, 2012)

I mean, if any of you guys have heard Rick Santorum speak, then you obviously know that he is fucking retarded, and at times makes absolutely no sense. He is literally part crazy, the fact that people back him is very surprising to me.


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## Randy (Feb 10, 2012)

Well, he has a point. I do have a demented bloodlust.


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## BlindingLight7 (Feb 10, 2012)

Randy said:


> Well, he has a point. I do have a demented bloodlust.


Me too, I can't stop killing people because metal tells me to. 



According to Rick.


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## groph (Feb 10, 2012)

I found no such poll.

Obvious made up statistic is obvious.

EDIT: Also, I'll allow for the fact that I'm in Canada, but I haven't heard Black Sabbath or Iron Maiden on the radio, ever. I'm too young to have. What in the actual fuck is he talking about?


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## Zonk Knuckle (Feb 10, 2012)

This can't be real. Can anyone link to a video of that quote?


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## Tones (Feb 10, 2012)

our candidates are such winners.


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## Handbanana (Feb 10, 2012)

Brand new? Wtf, I dont even listen to those bands and I'm a die hard. Dudes living in the stone age.


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## Vostre Roy (Feb 10, 2012)

Rick Santorum said:


> He stepped up his rhetoric in a speech on Wednesday when he implied that heavy metal is the cause of many forms of mental illness _*as well as lactose intoleranc*_e


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## Nile (Feb 10, 2012)

Holy shit haven't we been through this cuntery 10/20 years ago?


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## Deadnightshade (Feb 10, 2012)

Randy said:


> Well, he has a point. I do have a demented *period*bloodlust.




Fixed that there for you


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## Grand Moff Tim (Feb 10, 2012)

Zonk Knuckle said:


> This can't be real.


 
Of course it isn't. That anyone could read that and think it's real is actually sadder than the possibility that a candidate would ever say anything like that .


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## Demiurge (Feb 10, 2012)

Real or fake, we've all heard this blather from somewhere as of recent, and the most embarrassing part has to be the need to name-drop bands that are ~30+ years old.

I could walk over to my CD shelf in the dark, reach blindly towards the "metal" section, and find something way more offensive than these holy rollers could ever dream of.


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## tacotiklah (Feb 10, 2012)

Further proof that these people want to live in 1950 forever. And how in the name of the metal gods is black sabbath, wasp, and maiden brand new? You wanna know what's making kids so pissed off that they wanna shoot people? Being stuck in perpetual debt, poor education due to underpaid teachers, college degrees becoming worthless, and incredibly high unemployment. Oh and letting asshole brats pick in other kids in the name of religion.

Metal was my only escape from all this dumb bullshit. Take away that from kids and I guarantee you there will be an increase in violence. Kids need an outlet, and guys like this idiot wanna take away anything remotely similar to an outlet.

More subjects for the corporate brainwashing machine. That's what kids are to these bastards...


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## ZXIIIT (Feb 10, 2012)

Grand Moff Tim said:


> Of course it isn't. That anyone could read that and think it's real is actually sadder than the possibility that a candidate would ever say anything like that .



I don't follow/care about politics, but The Daily Show and The Colbert Report do a fine job of pointing out the dumbest things current candidates say...


Regardless, here is a song for all of them.


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## Moolaka (Feb 10, 2012)

Once again we don't have scientists or logistic professionals or resource specialists in any of the polls. Instead we get this closed-minded, corporate, god fearing fucktard. 

I smell an Epic Rap Battles of History, Santorum VS Snider...the irony of which will not be lost on me.


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## Varcolac (Feb 10, 2012)

Not a real article. 

However, right-wing politics in America has reached the point where it's getting difficult to tell the parodies from the realities. I'm 99% sure that Herman Cain was a troll candidate, but until the pokémon reference he could've been serious.


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## JaxoBuzzo (Feb 10, 2012)

> Santorum has openly advocated the forced re-education of metalheads. They would be forced to endure 30 days of non-stop values based music that promotes the American way of life as well as the free market. In order to leave, they will have to sing the chorus to at least one Celine Dion song..



There is no way that this is real.


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## TemjinStrife (Feb 10, 2012)

This is blatantly fake.


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## ilyti (Feb 10, 2012)

Nile said:


> Holy shit haven't we been through this cuntery 10/20 years ago?





> brand new, so-called heavy metal music bands like Black Sabbath, Venom, The WASP and Iron Maiden use satanic imagery to corrupt the minds of young people,&#8221;


...obvious troll is obvious. The only way to respond to this:

 



Case closed.


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## Moolaka (Feb 10, 2012)

Yea, it's BS. But, like has been mentioned, with the state of American politics candidates are scrambling for anything they can get. It would actually be more out of the ordinary if the canidates weren't demonizing a strata of our society.


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## Rick (Feb 10, 2012)

BlindingLight7 said:


> According to Rick.



It took me a second and I was like, "Wtf did I do?"


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## signalgrey (Feb 10, 2012)

what the fuck decade are we in?


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## HeHasTheJazzHands (Feb 10, 2012)

signalgrey said:


> what the fuck decade are we in?



According to the ever-so-up-to-date Sannytorum, 1970 and 1980.


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## Grand Moff Tim (Feb 10, 2012)

signalgrey said:


> what the fuck decade are we in?


 
The decade where people believe everything they read on the internet .


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## skeels (Feb 10, 2012)

Mmmmm ... blood ....


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## TRENCHLORD (Feb 10, 2012)

Hogwash 4sure
But if it were true it'd only make me like him more.
I'm sick of everything being accepted.
I like to feel dirty and do things that are frowned upon.

I remember the good ole 80s, when a guy could hang out the window of a car and flash the "metal"/"satan" sign at a group of oldies as they were exiting the church on Sunday mornings and literally scare the living shit out of them (especially when accompanied by a top of you're lungs yell/satan cry.

Nowadays, they're likely to flash the sign back at you lol.

And the acceptance of substance? What a bore.
It's just no fun for me if it's "OK now".

When I was a kid we used to torch up literally on the side of the cop-shop just for kicks.
If things keep going how they're going soon the coppers will be joining in. 
Even when we'd be walking around town doing nothing wrong, we'd still take off running when the coppers came around the corner.

Acceptance= Boring=Vote for Santorum lol


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## Watty (Feb 15, 2012)

People believing this is not quite as bad as my some relatives of mine (70+) believing that Obama has an anger management problem because he:

Regularly does backflips
Breaks down doors
Bursts into song

After addressing the public....

Not surprising in the slightest that people perpetuate these sorts of articles in order to garner the support of those too stupid to realize that it's false.


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## SenorDingDong (Feb 15, 2012)

> He stepped up his rhetoric in a speech on Wednesday when he implied that heavy metal is the cause of many forms of mental illness *as well as lactose intolerance*




Well I _have_ been gassy since buying Megadeth's _TH1RT3EN_ last year. Although that may be an allergic reaction to ginger.


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## Pooluke41 (Feb 15, 2012)

JWGriebel said:


> Well I _have_ been gassy since buying Megadeth's _TH1RT3EN_ last year. Although that may be an allergic reaction to ginger.



Ooooooo! Burn! 


But if anyone doesn't believe that this is satire, I feel very sorry for them.


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## Hemi-Powered Drone (Feb 15, 2012)

Why do so many fucking people think this is real&#8253; 
It's so fake!


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## Hemi-Powered Drone (Feb 15, 2012)

JWGriebel said:


> Well I _have_ been gassy since buying Megadeth's _TH1RT3EN_ last year. Although that may be an allergic reaction to ginger.



Speaking of Megadeth...

BLABBERMOUTH.NET - DAVE MUSTAINE Is Hoping To See RICK SANTORUM In White House

The bit of respect for him I had has vanished.


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## ShadowFactoryX (Feb 15, 2012)

this is clearly fake
heavy metal responsible for 9/11?

SEPTEMBER ELEVENTH TWO THOUSAND ONE

metal caused that? heavy metal caused the worst terrorist attack ever?
whoever wrote this is retarded

im sure metal also caused the crusades, nazi germany's genocidal tendencies, and slavery too!


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## Hemi-Powered Drone (Feb 15, 2012)

ShadowFactoryX said:


> this is clearly fake
> heavy metal responsible for 9/11?
> 
> SEPTEMBER ELEVENTH TWO THOUSAND ONE
> ...



It's a joke. He does these Onion things on a regular basis. People just took it seriously. Clearly you realized it's fake, but not that it was a joke.


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## Bigsby (Feb 15, 2012)

guyz this r reel it on da internet so it be true


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## BlindingLight7 (Feb 15, 2012)

Well, Slayer did release "God hates us all" on september 11th. But thats kind of irrelevant


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## mountainjam (Feb 15, 2012)

dragonblade629 said:


> Speaking of Megadeth...
> 
> BLABBERMOUTH.NET - DAVE MUSTAINE Is Hoping To See RICK SANTORUM In White House
> 
> The bit of respect for him I had has vanished.



I agree. Saw on cnn today that mustaine endorsed santorum after recently switching his support from gingrich.


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## TRENCHLORD (Feb 16, 2012)

Yeah it's such a shame that Mustaine has turned into such a total












REALIST


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## Uncreative123 (Feb 16, 2012)

Guys, google is your friend. It's bullshit- just like the falsified debt graph that was circulating on facebook. They are COUNTING on you not following up on any of these stories or reading beyond the headline:

Did Rick Santorum Declare War on Heavy Metal? Nope.


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## Vinchester (Feb 16, 2012)

I'm sure Karl Sanders is already on the way to impale Mr. Santorum with his KxK Nautilus spear


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## broj15 (Feb 16, 2012)

Just one thing
"*brand new,* so calledheavy-metal music bands like* Black Sabbath...."*
What? when was the last time Black Sabbath was new? Nothing against them (they laid the ground work for every stoner, doom, sludge metal band) but 1969 was a long time ago lol.


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## BucketheadRules (Feb 16, 2012)

I was just going to ask if this is real.

I mean... surely no-one is actually _that_ stupid, right?

Right?



Even if he's not against heavy metal, Rick Santorum is a frightening prospect. A blinkered, unbelievably fundamentalist, dementedly "pro-life" Christian who also happens to be bigoted, homophobic and arguably racist too, with terrifying foreign policies and retarded environmental views... added to the fact that he is seemingly about as intelligent as a cucumber. If he gets into the White House then America is fucked...

He's the right-thinking human being's worst nightmare.


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## TemjinStrife (Feb 16, 2012)

BucketheadRules said:


> I was just going to ask if this is real.
> 
> I mean... surely no-one is actually _that_ stupid, right?
> 
> ...



Luckily, he's completely unelectable. Independents hate him. Moderates hate him. A good chunk of his party doesn't like him. He's a two-term nobody senator that lost his seat by 17%.


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## mr_rainmaker (Feb 17, 2012)

what amazing is that most people still believe most everything the media says now....



while the truth is, the media almost NEVER tells the truth now.


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## Konfyouzd (Feb 17, 2012)




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## Overtone (Mar 1, 2012)

The Wasp


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## Origin (Mar 1, 2012)

Wait...there were people who thought this was real? Jesus christ. Look at other articles on the site, like the one about Bill Ward. That, and the fact that the Santorum one degenerates so quickly into absurdist humour that it's almost difficult to track the pace haha. Onion does it best.


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## cwhitey2 (Mar 1, 2012)

I will now proceed to write a death grind song about Santorum and the sand in his vaginal area...


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