# How To Open A Book



## Mr. Big Noodles (Jul 11, 2013)

Odd thread title, right? I picked up an old book with a fancy binding today, and as far as I can tell, it has never been read. The spine was stiff, so I decided to loosen it up a little so the binding will not break. For those of you who enjoy reading but don't want to damage your books while doing so, here is a way that you can soften the binding.

1. Set the book's spine flat on a table.







2. Let the front cover open. If the cover does not open completely, help it by slowly and gently pushing it until it is in contact with the table.






3. Do the same with the back cover.






4. On the front cover side, grab 10-20 pages and gently flatten them against the front cover.






5. Repeat step 4 on the back cover side.






6. Continue pushing the pages down in groups of 10-20 pages, alternating sides and working your way toward the center of the book.











...







It's like stretching before exercising. Repeat this process multiple times, and your book's spine will be much more able to stand the onslaught of literary eye rape.


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## The Reverend (Jul 11, 2013)

You are a veritable f--king font of wisdom, man.


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## Manurack (Jul 11, 2013)

Wow, I've never read a book before in my life! But now I know how! Thank you!!!


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## Mr. Big Noodles (Jul 11, 2013)

WHO TAUGHT YOU OCTAGON?!


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## Basti (Jul 11, 2013)

I thought this was going to be like "how to touch a wall with an apple"...but lo! I was wrong.

Thanks for treating books like a true cavalier and spreading the knowledge man


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## pink freud (Jul 11, 2013)

File-> Open

It's not complicated


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## The Spanish Inquisition (Jul 11, 2013)

Now how to close a book, because I can't really seem to master that skill. And can you please tell me how to flip the pages one by one? It reads very strange when you're only reading every 10-20 pages of a book. The story gets messy for some reason that way


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## TheKindred (Jul 11, 2013)

i can't believe you showed the last couple of pages without a spoiler warning.


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## gunshow86de (Jul 11, 2013)

I don't need no fancy book learning.


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## Xaios (Jul 11, 2013)

Thread title reminds me of this:


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## Mr. Big Noodles (Jul 11, 2013)

I can't tell if some of you are joking, or have conpletely missed the point of the process.


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## The Reverend (Jul 11, 2013)

SchecterWhore said:


> I can't tell if some of you are joking, or have conpletely missed the point of the process.



I think a few actually missed the point.


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## TheKindred (Jul 11, 2013)

SchecterWhore said:


> I can't tell if some of you are joking, or have conpletely missed the point of the process.


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## Azathoth43 (Jul 11, 2013)

I was totally ready for this thread to be smarmy and cynical, than it was actually very useful. 

Thanks OP.


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## JustMac (Jul 12, 2013)

Huh, so that's what ShecterWhore's torso looks like. 

I assumed you'd be just like Raiden from Mortal Kombat for some reason


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## Mr. Big Noodles (Jul 12, 2013)

I thought you would have been more focused on my hideous genetic deformity: I have no hair on the second knuckle of my index fingers.


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## MFB (Jul 12, 2013)

If I stretch my books before I read them, how are people going to see the creases in the spine and know how totally hardcore I am about reading? HUH?!


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## Mr. Big Noodles (Jul 13, 2013)

They will know by your limber tomes.


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## AugmentedFourth (Jul 13, 2013)

It seems no one has inquired as to what book specifically is being shown to us in this lovely post


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## Mr. Big Noodles (Jul 13, 2013)

So it would seem.


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## TheKindred (Jul 15, 2013)

don't leave me hanging, bro! 

what is this ancient unread tome of mystery? 

Is it the mythical lost Music Theory of Atlantis (vol 4)?


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## Konfyouzd (Jul 15, 2013)

Solodini has that one.


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## skeels (Jul 15, 2013)

Where are people going to keep all their book?


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## Azyiu (Jul 17, 2013)

Now that we learned how to open a book, I expect we will all need some "book" support here


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## MetalBuddah (Jul 17, 2013)

and the thread of the year award goes to....SHECTERWHORE


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## Skyblue (Jul 18, 2013)

Best thread in SSO, ever.


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## flint757 (Jul 18, 2013)

Nah, the best ones always end with a lock.


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## Idontpersonally (Jul 18, 2013)

SchecterWhore said:


> WHO TAUGHT YOU OCTAGON?!


Hey man i got two pages man, check it out man. I got a new word man, it's hot man, how many you need i got you. *looks over both shoulders*



Manurack said:


> Wow, I've never read a book before in my life! But now I know how! Thank you!!!


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