# Need advice on an argue between my band guitarist and me (Music upload, recording)



## DeKay (Dec 29, 2012)

Hello folks!

Well this is pretty depressing for me, my other guitarist haves a problem with me posting stuff that I did fully (drums, guitars, bass etc) at home here and at our bands youtube page because "thats nothing we did together, it's only you" I think I am a big part of the band as ive been the drummer for 3 years and now the guitarist and vocalist of it.

My real problem is that it hurts me incredibly that if I write music it would die on my hdd since when I upload it my other guitarist thinks it's not our bands identity or something we done together... while I am the only one with recording knowledge/mixing/mastering drums writing and such he still haves a problem with it. In the end all of these years of learning that now get suddenly punched to the face, I feel like I am tied together and dropped off at the corner... Our bands youtube channel is empty with 15 subscribers and I got atleast 5-6 songs that I did instrumental ready to upload which currently just lay stupidly here on my hdd. I still secretly post them in the recording section for advice and a little bit of comments since I put all my money and blood into this hobby and yet I feel stomped on the ground like a bug.

How can I solve this? I often get in an argue with my guitarist (we are 3 guys in the band) about other things aswell since he's so picky about everything and confrontal and constantly over stressed. It's tearing me apart, I need advice. Sorry for the weird typing, I am german.

Thanks in advance...


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## getaway_fromme (Dec 29, 2012)

I see your bandmate's point, but he's going overboard. I'd say just start your own page, or better yet, you may want a band member who is like-minded. Other than that, talk to him, tell him it means so much, and take it from there. You don't HAVE to be in a band with him, as much as it may hurt


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## ShadowAMD (Dec 29, 2012)

DeKay said:


> Hello folks!
> 
> Well this is pretty depressing for me, my other guitarist haves a problem with me posting stuff that I did fully (drums, guitars, bass etc) at home here and at our bands youtube page because "thats nothing we did together, it's only you" I think I am a big part of the band as ive been the drummer for 3 years and now the guitarist and vocalist of it.
> 
> ...



I'd put an end to that one quickly, get your foot down on the matter.. You paid the money, you recorded the tracks, you took the time to learn your craft. If they think there in a position to do better, then tell them to. 

If not, then they need to get back into line. If you are serious about this band or even just the music, then it never pays to have others drag you down...


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## DeKay (Dec 29, 2012)

ShadowAMD said:


> If you are serious about this band or even just the music, then it *never pays to have others drag you down*...



That's how I feel in my band constantly... I feel like he's dragging me down all the time. Thanks for the advice man, I really need to make that clear and I am really serious about that band, I am 19 and spent over 2000 just for the band alone already. I bought half of the drumset and now another guy plays on it and I needed to buy an new amp/head for bands practise since I changed position in band.

It's just everytime I say something that's actually intelligent such as "We should start of with an EP and build up on that since we have enough songs for that" he's just laughing or ignoring at that and it makes me feel like he don't even respects what I say and thinks my decissions are dumb all the time.

I know how to get stuff done but I don't even feel the respect or anything from him because he reacts that weirdly towards me.


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## DeKay (Dec 29, 2012)

getaway_fromme said:


> I see your bandmate's point, but he's going overboard. I'd say just start your own page, or better yet, you may want a band member who is like-minded. Other than that, talk to him, tell him it means so much, and take it from there. You don't HAVE to be in a band with him, as much as it may hurt



I already have my own page, I do alot of music but since I have my band it consumes so much time and power that I am almost non working on my private solo albums and such. It takes about 2-3 months for me to make something EP alike when I am on my own but with my band.. I am in there for 4 years now and we haven't got anything at all so far... it's just starting all over again all the time. When I get the strenght up to command everyone I feel like I get no support at all, this is heavy shit and I don't want to quit at the same time but what is it really worth it to get your feelings fucked all the time and yet pay everything you got for that.


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## ShadowAMD (Dec 29, 2012)

DeKay said:


> I already have my own page, I do alot of music but since I have my band it consumes so much time and power that I am almost non working on my private solo albums and such. It takes about 2-3 months for me to make something EP alike when I am on my own but with my band.. I am in there for 4 years now and we haven't got anything at all so far... it's just starting all over again all the time. When I get the strenght up to command everyone I feel like I get no support at all, this is heavy shit and I don't want to quit at the same time but what is it really worth it to get your feelings fucked all the time and yet pay everything you got for that.



I think most guys in bands have been there, if it's been 4 years and your not moving forward.. There is something fundamentally flawed about the whole thing.. It doesn't matter if you succeed, fail, just do it all for fun.. But if it's your passion then you want to move forward, let people say your shit or great. Nothing should slow you down..

If this guy is getting in the way then I wouldn't hesitate to remove the dead weight and I listened to one of your track's, you have enough talent to make it work.. So it shouldn't be you who feels depressed about it, your good enough to do it by yourself.

When family, jobs, commitments and life generally fuck things up for you.. It might be an idea to get cracking on, or you will wake up one day and realise your 50..

I turned 26 this year and realised I need to get the whip out and start spanking myself forward.. If people weigh you down, they know where the door is.


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## tedtan (Dec 29, 2012)

First, reserve the band's YouTube, Facebook, etc. for the band's recordings. Set up a separate YouTube account for your solo and side projects.

Second, if this guy causes problems regularly, replace him with someone more suited to your personality and works style.

*****

EDIT: I just read the rest of the responses and agree with ShadowAMD's post above.


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## flaik (Dec 30, 2012)

Let him try to record his own part sometime and then expose all of the flaws in his playing via recording.

then maybe he will let you record it by yourself


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## tripguitar (Dec 31, 2012)

I think if the songs were written by everyone in the band and you did them the favor of recording it then they should be alot more gratefull.

on the other side of the coin, if you wrote and recorded these songs by yourself, then i would post them as a solo thing and not under the band's name.

either way if you're suggesting steps towards progressing as a band and he's laughing at you and not taking it seriously... get rid of him, he sounds like a waste of your time.


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## GunpointMetal (Dec 31, 2012)

if you're writing all of themusic and he's just playing it...you can do whatever you want and tell him to sit on it. If you guys are collaborating on music and you're recording all of it, I can see where he would be coming from, but all you have to do is let him record his parts....sounds to me like the guy has a little bit a superiority complex and wouldn't see good advice if it was shitting in his mouth. If you're already doing all the work and he's not helping to promote or further the band along, he doesn't belong there. I've unfortunately had to fire some of my best friends from bands because there was no dedication....lost a friend of almost 12 years cause he wouldn't practice his damn bass and couldn't take the reality that he couldn't hack it anymore, so he blamed it on me....part of the business I guess.


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## DeKay (Jan 1, 2013)

Thanks for the lovely advice guys... GunpointMetal you really hit the nail on the head it really seems exactly as you described it. I will see how things change after this long talk/argue with him and hope for the best.


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## facepalm66 (Jan 1, 2013)

Agree with the most.
If you do all the work - it's your band / project. If he wants to get involved - let him get involved. If he just complains... Just flip him off, and / or find other guitarist that isn't as narrow - minded as your current one.
But most importantly - flip him off


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## xCaptainx (Jan 2, 2013)

set up your own page/youtube account. Leave the band pages for band stuff that everyone has worked on, and agreed to. 

It sounds like you would prefer a solo project with session guys who simply do what they are told in a live enviroment?


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## bannyd (Jan 8, 2013)

there are so many bands that have one main song writer and then the rest of the band kinda just plays along -- if you're having band problems, i feel bad for you, son
i got 99 problems, but a mate aint one.... 



yup
thats my first real post 
i'll make an intro thread sooner or later


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