# How do u stop negative thinking? Advice?



## vejichan (Oct 20, 2018)

Everybody has an internal recorder that loops negative thoughts over again. It could be breaking up with your gf, a mistake you made at work, or someone says something negative to you on the way to work. This gets recorded and loops over and over again in your head. If you are like this..how do you stop this? Its driving me nuts..i dont want to think about it but its just keeps going


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## Demiurge (Oct 20, 2018)

Sorry to hear that you're dealing with that. I know that something like, "Try not to let things get to you," is empty advice if you're simply not wired that way. If your brain is running a delay pedal, you just want to turn the repeat and level knobs down.

One remedy is being productive: stay focused at work, do projects at home, engage in something creative, converse with people, exercise, read, etc. The negative thoughts have a better chance of creeping-in when your mind is idle, and it's not really escapism if you're trying to distract yourself from things that don't deserve your attention anyhow.


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## IGC (Oct 20, 2018)

At times it is very difficult to find a positive focal point based on what life has to toss you. For me this is common too. I try ZAZEN meditation, check out cognitive thinking distortions and how to overcome them, and as of yesterday I have been looping "it's not the end of the world" over and over again "and much worse things can happen" to myselfe.
It may not be your thing but consider listening to some up beat positive music. But maybe try that.
I was watching "mysteries of the abandoned" last night and you see all of these vastly "engineered" multi billion dollar structures other places rotting and wasting away into nothing. Compare your situation to Chernobyl, Hiroshima, 911. I also think of a Browns football player that was payed 9 million to play one stinkin game then he quit, money in hand!


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## PunkBillCarson (Oct 20, 2018)

It's not an overnight thing, but what I started doing was looking at the positive and thinking through negative situations. If something bad happens, I always tell myself "at least it wasn't something (that's infinitely more horrible) I've been doing that for a few years and I feel a hell of a lot better. Sounds simple, sounds stupid, but it worked for me.


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## Drew (Oct 22, 2018)

vejichan said:


> Everybody has an internal recorder that loops negative thoughts over again. It could be breaking up with your gf, a mistake you made at work, or someone says something negative to you on the way to work. This gets recorded and loops over and over again in your head. If you are like this..how do you stop this? Its driving me nuts..i dont want to think about it but its just keeps going



I mean, from what you're posting here and from other threads you've posted over the last year or two here, I'd strongly suggest trying therapy to deal with this. I myself have never gone through it but I know a lot of people who have, and who are staunch believers in the process - many say thay everyone should go through therapy, no matter how happy or balanced they think they are. There may be something to that. 

Other than that (and I still think talking with a therapist is your best course of action), I was a pretty serious mountain biker before I made the switch to road. One of the best peices of advice I've gotten about riding, and really about life in general, is that if you're coming up on an obstacle on the trail, then don't think about the obstacle, think about the line you want to take. If you think "I need to make sure I don't hit that rock!" then like 9 times out of 10, you're hitting that rock. If you're focused on the line you're going to take though, and you hone in on exactly where you DO want your wheel to go (rather than where you want it to not go), you're way more likely to ride it cleanly. 

The same principle applies - if you're fixated on something negative, then force yourself to think about something positive instead. It's not always easy to do, and I still think therapy is your best bet, but it can make a difference.


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## wankerness (Oct 23, 2018)

You might need treatment for depression, or you might just need more sleep and/or a better diet. "Changing your way of thinking" might work but there's sometimes a more serious underlying problem. You got fine answers for that already.


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## Mathemagician (Oct 23, 2018)

Don’t be afraid to seek professional help. That’s literally what they specialize in. Coping mechanisms, therapy, etc. they are doctors.


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## chopeth (Oct 24, 2018)

Mathemagician said:


> they are doctors.



Well, not actually, psychiatrists are, but no psychologist.

To the OP, you should try some therapy as other say, coping skills, mindfulness, problem solution, that stuff would help you for sure. Good luck!


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## RobertVII (Dec 20, 2018)

Definitely recommend therapy! I was really against trying it for so long but after about 5 years of issues building up, I found that therapy was very helpful. Also just trying to change your thought process about things helps too. If you find yourself thinking negatively ask yourself what is this helping you accomplish? Also, exercise helps a lot too. It helps reduce stress and will make you feel better too. Hope this helps!


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## GatherTheArsenal (Dec 22, 2018)

To the OP, hey buddy I'm sorry to hear you're having a tough time. It sounds like you're being too hard on yourself, I have the same issue... I obsess and cringe sometimes over mistakes I made 20 years ago, when I know it's asinine to think like that. Add to this issue an iron clad memory where for better or worse I remember most of everything vividly, it's a constant battle.

I figured out that for me it stems from not feeling like I'm adequate when I put effort into anything, like my accomplishments no matter what aren't good enough for me and those around me so I'm always viewing what should otherwise be positive with a negative eye.

From 2011 to 2017 I went back and forth through clinical depression, between college and work and trying to "find a career" it was an intense time of my life with very little time to cope with stress and constantly not giving myself credit for anything. Tried to take the hits as they came but they kept coming a little too frequently. Add to that being far away from family (no holiday get togethers, so every year I was alone for Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc.) and constantly being broke... it really sucked.

Eventually, after awhile with no time to do anything that made me happy I started thinking negatively, became depressed, with in turn fueled negative thought, which in turn drove me deeper into depression, which in turn made me more negative, which in turn... see the pattern? It's an imbalance where I'm doing too much just to live and not enough to enjoy the living.

What got me out of it is realizing the following, and it cost me (for the most part) zero money:

1. I'm not doing anything for myself because I kept saying "I'm too busy for that", that needed to stop... f*ckin immediately... 

Doing something I enjoy is justification enough to allocate a few hours a day to do said activity, no matter what.

2. I need to clean up my diet as best as I can. No need to splurge on the organic stuff, there's a lot i improved without jumping into the deep end. You'd be surprised how much what goes into our bodies has a tremendous effect on our moods. A constant diet with high amounts of sugary, salty, simple refined carbs eventually made me into an emotional eater, and my emotions were constantly f*cked with week in week out, so I constantly ate. Add to that my gut microbiome got used to junk and was always ravenous for unhealthy food (i.e. drank Pepsi like water, 1-2 liters a day) eventually i gained about 70 pounds. I was 255 lbs at 5'7", Being out of shape made things worse, anyone who's ever been overweight knows how it feels.

3. I need to start exercising, I read that it's clinically proven that i will walk out of the gym with an uplift in my mood, well that's what I needed. If I couldn't have positivity in my emotions well at least I can inject some natural happy juice physically. Add to that the feeling of "sanctuary", as in this is my guaranteed 2 hours a day where I will listen to music I love while i do something to become stronger, nothing will interfere with that. Great, exactly what I needed.

With those 3 positive changes, eventually i got my confidence back and greatly reduced negative thinking. Never removed completely, which is another thing I had to realize. Stop look for perfection, look for progress, and try to be consistent. But I did manage to turn the volume down on pesky voice constantly spewing negativity on my mood.

If any of that resonates with you, give any of the above a shot. It worked for me and I encourage you to try. 

But seek professional help if you're at your wits end, talking with a pro can help at least diffuse some stress because they know how to guide the conversation. 

Hope you feel better soon


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## onefingersweep (Jan 20, 2019)

Try to do something that you have never done before. Something that might be fun. Focus on that and only on that while you're doing it. Also, try to change your daily routines. Let's say if you take the car to go shopping, try to walk or take the bike. Just an example, there's tons of small things you can change.

And as already mentioned, make sure you get enought sleep at night and try to eat as healthy as possible. Eating healthy is easier to do when you get enough sleep, for some reason people tend to choose bad food if they are tired and/or depressed.


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## will_shred (Jan 20, 2019)

chopeth said:


> Well, not actually, psychiatrists are, but no psychologist.
> 
> To the OP, you should try some therapy as other say, coping skills, mindfulness, problem solution, that stuff would help you for sure. Good luck!



Some licensed therapists have masters, some have doctorates. My therapist is PhD and I only need to see him about once a year when my seasonal depression kicks my ass during the transition from summer to winter. 

OP, the best advice we can give is don't be afraid to seek professional help. Therapists trained in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy are like mind ninjas, they are trained to help people break out of patterns of thinking. Friends and your social circle can be great support, but its not the same as seeing a licensed therapist.


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## chopeth (Jan 21, 2019)

will_shred said:


> Some licensed therapists have masters, some have doctorates. My therapist is PhD and I only need to see him about once a year when my seasonal depression kicks my ass during the transition from summer to winter.
> 
> OP, the best advice we can give is don't be afraid to seek professional help. Therapists trained in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy are like mind ninjas, they are trained to help people break out of patterns of thinking. Friends and your social circle can be great support, but its not the same as seeing a licensed therapist.



I was talking about doctors as "real" doctors, those who can prescribe medicines. I'm also a license therapist and in my country we can't do that. I hope the OP is better, btw. Some great advice here but it is better he goes to an expert if the problem gets out of control.


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## Chris Bowsman (May 27, 2019)

A little over ten years ago, my wife told me she didn’t know if she wanted to be married to me any longer. I was a miserable prick, and made everybody around me miserable. 

I’d complain that all this crap was going on, and how could I be happy? Everybody said happiness is a choice, and I thought that was bullshit. 

When I decided I wanted to stay married, I literally told myself everyday that I could be happy, I was not a fuck up, and could fix the situation. I’d say it to myself in the mirror in my car. Eventually I started believing it.


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## Konfyouzd (May 27, 2019)

Here's a simple one some others have somewhat covered in their suggestions, but is your living space as clean as you'd like it to be currently?

Sometimes I find that negative thinking causes me to be unnecessarily sedentary and I end up letting go of much more than my waistline. Whenever I start getting into patterns of feeling crappy all the time, I usually clean my apartment.

Having a clean space to be in kind of frees up that part of my mind that says, "I don't have time to have fun bc look at all this work I let pile up!"

From there I almost have no choice but to do something fun...

Aside from that, when my apartment is cleaner I feel more compelled to walk my dogs basically constantly to keep them from having accidents. That exercise and sunshine always seems to make me feel just a little bit better when I return from the walk.

At one point I would just walk in some arbitrary direction away from my house for as long as it took for me to not be able to remember what I was upset about. It was at that point that I would allow myself to turn around and begin the walk home.

I was sometimes SEVERAL miles from home by this point, so I ended up killing 2 birds with one stone in that one:
1. Clearing my mind
2. CARDIO!!!!!

I spent the last 2 years here in Seattle and I've been very alone during this time. I was initially not able to bring my dogs with me so I didn't even have them for the first year.

In that time I've begun to notice a lot of negative thinking returning as well as a lot of excess weight and I'm finding that I need to get back into my older more positive/productive habits. It's very easy to let the world get you down sometimes.

Hopefully you find a way that works for you.


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## Strobe (May 27, 2019)

I recommend seeing a therapist. It's OK to be not OK. I have myself a couple times in life. We can all give you advice, perhaps even some good advice, but a professional is going to be best.


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## BananaDemocracy (May 29, 2019)

I hope you feel better, and many helpful buds here recommend you good advice, the best being a therapist would be a service to you indeed. i hate to hear people suffer and i hope yours diminishes quickly, but what you are describing is called rapid cycling iirc, where your stuck in a thought loops and it wont stop, and maybe be prepared for the fact the doctor may want to give you a med like abilify to stop the unstoppable loops. Whatever youre going through i hope you get through soon 

PS if it makes you help, if commiserating does or give you something relative pain so you dont feel alone or maybe relatively another person feels like you, my wife and love of my life for 5 years ended things with me on my sons third birthday, and then almost (tried to ) kill me by drop kicking me in the chest at the top of the stairs ...if i didnt have a landing midway where i hit a knoll that made me unconcious and roll like a ragdoll down the 12 steps id be dead i think... definitely in a lot of pain, most likely not typing to anyone here again.... so dont worry man, everyones life has some suffering. luckily, a good therapist and psychiatrist can easily help you.


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## Adieu (May 29, 2019)

Pushups 

Lots and lots of friggin pushups


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## Emperor Guillotine (Jun 2, 2019)

You just need some basic Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), man.

The goal of CBT is to change perspectives in order to break the cycle of:
Negative emotions -> Negative thoughts -> Negative behaviors -> Negative emotions (then it loops)
...or in the opposite direction:
Negative emotions -> Negative behaviors -> Negative thoughts -> Negative emotions (then it loops)

Perhaps this graphic could explain it better.







There are so many books on CBT available at your local bookstores or online, and it's a very basic form of psycho-social intervention for many therapists/psychologists/experts. It's a very subtle, very long process and definitely not an overnight thing like what @PunkBillCarson said. The steps are so tiny that you'll probably think that you aren't doing anything at first, but stick with it once you start researching into it (and/or seeing a therapist). It'll pay off.

In the meantime, stay busy in ways to improve your physical health. Get plenty of sleep, maintain a super healthy diet, and hit the gym (or engage in outdoor, physical activities). Something about our brains dictates that if you look good, then you'll feel good.


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## MetalHex (Jun 2, 2019)

https://humanparts.medium.com/the-d...VA6mqupb_ZU4ze2zkdmAStwpDXbh_Y9_XtF6Lo8L8tptA


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## Hollowway (Jun 3, 2019)

As others have said, look into speaking with a therapist or doctor. I ended up on SSRIs, and it’s the best thing that’s ever happened. I feel like a “normal” person now. I still have negative thoughts, and anxiety, etc, but it’s way more like what I used to be like, and what I imagine other people experience. The heaviness and constant-ness of it has gone away. I’ve just basically decided that I have less of the brain chemicals that I need. Much like some people have less insulin than they need, or whatever.


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## chopeth (Jun 4, 2019)

^It's not like you are born with a determined level of neurotransmitters, you can modulate that and in fact, you and how you take your environment do it all the time. Still, antidepressants work, not as much as therapy on the long run, but they work to some extent. Research has interestingly shown that medicines work better in passive type of people while active-like prone to benefit from more dynamical/cognitive/conductive ways of therapy. In the past, I would preach against antidepressants, but the last generations of monoamine RIs are improving from their old nasty side effects. Still, I would always start with therapy instead of taking pills.


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