# Failure at the gym



## groph (Jun 19, 2011)

So just a couple of hours ago I got back from my first "session" in a gym ever, as in ever ever.

It wasn't so much of a workout as it was a bunch of freeweights exposing the truth that I'm a weak piece of shit who couldn't save his own life or another's if the situation ever arose. Huge blow to any sort of self image I might have had coming in. I laughed it off at the time (it's my defense mechanism) but the reality of having barely any upper body strength is settling in and I hate it. I know everybody starts somewhere, but I figured that my "somewhere" would have been at least 20-30 pounds more than I could do. I felt completely out of place and straight up intimidated by the athletic guys who were in incredible shape, like the piss dribbling omega wolf begging for the last remaining morsel.

I was absolutely not expecting it to be THAT bad, that I'm in far worse shape than I thought I was. I suppose it makes sense though, I never exercise and I've been overweight since I was 12 or 13. Add this onto the list of reasons to feel uncomfortable in my own skin.

Still, looking on the bright side, I at least hauled my fat ass into a gym and tried a few workouts in the presence of "superior" men, shaking uncontrollably and probably quite pathetically. I'm sick of being fat so I feel that I'm ready to make the commitment. I'm going to head into WalMart soon and pick up a few freeweights so I can do some of this stuff at home and build some basic strength up. I am far weaker than I look, and I can't stand that. I'm almost 21, I'm supposed to be in the prime of my life but I'm easily in the worst shape I've ever been in. I'm wasting my life by staying the way I am.

Anyone else have absolutely abysmal first gym sessions? How did you feel afterwards, and have you improved since?


----------



## Demiurge (Jun 19, 2011)

Twice for me, actually. Just started my second stint of gym-going after gaining back all of the weight (and more) I had lost previously. I've dropped quite a bit of weight already and I'm back in that zone where when I don't go, I miss it.

The one thing to remember is that, contrary to how some gym-goers want to portray about themselves, it's a place where people go to work towards (and not to flaunt) fitness. It's okay to look clumsy doing something the first few times or to ask for help figuring a machine out (even the fucking treadmills look like supercomputers). You've overcome an enormous hurdle just by showing-up, and getting to where you want to be shouldn't be tough if you keep at it.


----------



## Guitarmiester (Jun 19, 2011)

Most people are at the gym for a common goal, to get in shape. If you want to better yourself, put the effort forth and don't let others get in your way. It's all in your head. Keep your head up and keep at it. 

I've always been on the skinny side. You may not start out where you'd like or expect, but look at it as small steps to achieve a bigger goal. I couldn't lift as much as I thought I could when starting out. That can change quickly by not letting your nerves or insecurities get the best of you. Maintain form, up the weights periodically, and eat right.


----------



## toiletstand (Jun 19, 2011)

you have to start somewhere. first time i went to the gym i couldnt add weights to the bench press and just used the bar haha. 

look at it like learning a song on guitar. youll suck at first but through proper practice and repetition you will rock that shit eventually. dont be discouraged buddy!


----------



## windu (Jun 19, 2011)

dude honestly? i know how you feel, beggening of the year i wanted to get fit and in shape (like that sexy motherfucker thor! haha)
so i went and got a membership at the worst place for self esteem, golds gym lol

theres massive beast in there that are doing 8 to 10 plate benches!
so i went in not know shit bout working out, and after a few talks to some friends and research and talking ot personal trainers, i love going to the gym!
dont ever be afraid to ask your fellow gym member on tips or anything like that! everyone is at the gym for 1 reason, to better themselves

you go to the gym to better yourself, going to the gym will never have a negative effect on your body! it only always makes you better!

so dont think because you start off small doesnt mean anything! everyone gotta start somewhere.


----------



## AngstRiddenDreams (Jun 19, 2011)

I'm 15 and i've been working out since i was 7, i honestly don't know what i'd do without it. It makes you feel accomplished, all around good, and plus ladies love muscle. I can now bench press 225 and every increase from that feels as good as learning a Sikth song. lol


----------



## windu (Jun 20, 2011)

also have you done your proper research on working out? dont wanna hurt yourself!


----------



## Stealthdjentstic (Jun 20, 2011)

Honestly man, before I got all crippled, it used to be motivating seeing new people go to the gym. Especially if they had a good attitude, ask questions and were willing to learn. What I didn't like were the 140-160lb kids running around saying, "LOL BUT I GOTTA DO ABZZZ"..

They needed to eat, not do fucking abs.


----------



## SenorDingDong (Jun 20, 2011)

Dude, I started off in August last year, 115lbs, scrawny little guy, and let me tell you, as intimidating as it was, I am glad I stuck to it. Yeah, it sucked seeing guys twice my weight of solid bulk lifting right next to me and my tinker toy weights, but sticking to it is what got me where I am. Right now I am 155lbs, got my body fat calipered last month and it was 6%. 
What I can honestly say that gave me the edge; Not doing what every huge guy told me to. The best things to do are compound movement exercise's, such as squats, deadlifts, pull ups, dumbell bench press, lunges, dips, and bent over rows. Another key to success is eat the right things; complex carbs and pure proteins. Lean meats, dark green and bright colored vegetables (spinach, sweet potatoes, green beans, carrots, yellow bell peppers, tomatoes, etc.), whole wheat pasta, quinoa, brown rice, steel cut oats, beans (kidney, black, chic, etc.) peanut butter and olive oil and flax oil for some nice fats, and consider a premade weight gainer or make on out of oats, peanut butter, protein powder, milk and flax oil. And be sure to drink about a gallon of water a day. 
Do those couple things between diet and lifting, and I promise you, you will see results, which are always harder to see with your own eyes then other at first, but it will happen. I know exactly how you feel going in there, around all of the huge meat head guys, but just think of it this way; If you stick to a good compound routine and eat a lot, and very healthy, you will be a step closer to that every single day. The fact that you went in the first place shows that you have more balls than most people, who are content with sitting at a computer all day playing WoW. You have what it takes bro, just do it for yourself. And P.S. doing abs does not matter, as stated above. You can have a six pack without ever doing a situp if your workout routine is full of REAL exercises.


----------



## timbaline (Jun 20, 2011)

Sorry, all I could think of was this.


----------



## Winspear (Jun 20, 2011)

Jstring said:


> .The best things to do are compound movement exercise's, such as squats, deadlifts, pull ups, dumbell bench press, lunges, dips, and bent over rows. Another key to success is eat the right things; complex carbs and pure proteins. Lean meats, dark green and bright colored vegetables (spinach, sweet potatoes, green beans, carrots, yellow bell peppers, tomatoes, etc.), whole wheat pasta, quinoa, brown rice, steel cut oats, beans (kidney, black, chic, etc.) peanut butter and olive oil and flax oil for some nice fats, and consider a premade weight gainer or make on out of oats, peanut butter, protein powder, milk and flax oil. And be sure to drink about a gallon of water a day.
> Do those couple things between diet and lifting, and I promise you, you will see results.



This 
Do research and get a good protein rich diet in check, work out properly and your strength will rocket.

About the confidence - people in the gym don't care if you don't have a good body or aren't lifting heavy weights. As long as you're training properly, they will respect you. 
What they _will_ laugh at are the people that are doing it wrong - no matter how strong they are.


Stealthtastic said:


> What I didn't like were the 140-160lb kids running around saying, "LOL BUT I GOTTA DO ABZZZ"..
> 
> They needed to eat, not do fucking abs.


Things like that.

So make sure you do your research first and train well.


----------



## cwhitey2 (Jun 20, 2011)

im a stick figure which = i hate the gym


i used to work out every other day for about 4 years, and because of my body type i could never get 'jacked' only 'cut'. I used supplements and other things. Some peoples body types are just better for making muscles...


----------



## Jontain (Jun 20, 2011)

Just remember your not there for the 'superior' men and you are there to better yourself, try not to worry about the others around you as the gym is no competition, your there to make yourself fit and healthy not to be the biggest guy in the gym.


----------



## Maniacal (Jun 20, 2011)

Train at home if gym rats bother you.


----------



## avenger (Jun 20, 2011)

Fuck the meat heads, just do your thing and results will come. To get to that state of dense hard muscle takes a lot of hard work and patience.

Keep at it you'll get there!

Oh and make sure you get your diet in check!


----------



## Origin (Jun 20, 2011)

I don't see that as failure, you're just starting to get into exercising. First time I ran I sputtered and had to stop about every minute, and by the end I felt about ready to puke. Did I mention it was cold so humidity had nothing to do with it? ...and also that it was 3k?  You don't instantly turn into an athlete, I'm barely decent at running now and I've been doing it sporadically for a good while. Just KEEP at the exercise wherever you are and whatever you use


----------



## TheBigGroove (Jun 21, 2011)

dude not a failure at all. You're going out and getting a start which is more than most people can say.

Gaining muscle mass and strength is a ridiculously slow process. I think at your build/bodyfat percentage the most lean muscle you could realistically gain is a few lbs a month...like 1-3...maybe 4. Just stick with it man. And if you're uncomfortable about working out at the gym, get a few sets of dumbells, a pushup bar and hit up youtube there's plenty of routines on there and info on dieting. 

also I just posted a thread about my home workout progress hit it up if interested!


----------



## The Grief Hole (Jun 21, 2011)

It will be completely epic when you can go in and lift those 30 extra pounds and call all others girly men (whilst running up those stairs in Philadelphia to Survivor). Go for it.


----------



## buffa d (Jun 21, 2011)

BTW remember to rest. 
Your body produces growth hormone more during night time, so remember to sleep. A LOT!


----------



## SirMyghin (Jun 21, 2011)

Everyone starts somewhere bud. I came from manual labour so can't say I had the issue. The weight is not important in the slightest, the weight is infact unimportant, don't worry about it. The meat heads who worry about what weight they are pushing are usually minimizing their range of motion too, to 'lift more'. Keep positive, maintain a full range of motion (for example when you bench, touch your bloody chest) and rock on. The most best workout is the one YOU do.


----------



## Chelseadevil21 (Jun 21, 2011)

One huge piece of advice I can give you is that you should read a lot about it. Pick up a weight lifting magazine but pay no attention to any of those ads. 90% of what you will find will be junk. The 10% that you will find will be legitimate exercises. The MOST important thing is that if you do not know how to perform a certain exercise, I absolutely encourage you to ask someone. Odds are that no one is going to say no to you because again we all start somewhere. Just keep at it is all I can tell you. You will feel results immediately and you will see results after about a month which will in turn motivate you more. Good luck with everything.


----------



## kung_fu (Jun 22, 2011)

I'd also like to point out that 21 isn't very old at all ( I didn't start working out till i was 24). I've never bought into the whole ___ is supposed to be the year/age when you are at your physical peak/best shape, especially if you are relatively new to working out. Stick to it .


----------



## kung_fu (Jun 22, 2011)

Maniacal said:


> Train at home if gym rats bother you.



+ 1
If your self-esteem is a little low, you could always start doing some form of exercise at home until you are confident enough to take it public. Gym memberships are pretty much a waste of money if you don't know what you're doing anyway. Not saying avoid the gym, but do your research as others have said so that you are doing things correctly from day 1.


----------



## soliloquy (Jun 22, 2011)

if you're overweight, the best thing to do, even ebtter than going to a gym would be to do something like P90X or insanity. they work better as its insane cardio and help you shed lots of weight off.

unfortunetly it wont work for me as i'm trying to gain weight, not lose it. took me a lot of hard work to finally get to 165, but my goat is to be at 180 with about 2-6% body fat percentage...so lets see how that goes.

and again, as said above, doing more weight should not be the goal. if someone can do 50lbs in bench press with PERFECT form, vs someone who can do 200lbs with horrible form, the one who is doing the 50lbs press would be getting more out of it at a faster pace than the 200lbs moron.


----------



## Overtone (Jun 22, 2011)

Think about it this way... when the workout is that difficult you're getting more out of it. Once you start feeling comfortable you have to push yourself harder and harder to get the same results.


----------



## Blind Theory (Jun 22, 2011)

Don't worry. That is just the nature of the beast. When I started out at the gym I felt like an ant. I'm still not big but I take pride in knowing that when I do lift and someone is watching, they kind of do a double take because I can do more than they expect. It just takes time. For instance, my new venture (not really a venture though) is the Marine Corp. I have to go to my recruiters office every Tuesday and Thursday for PT. Talk about a fish out of water. Half the people there are some how state wrestlers and in INCREDIBLE shape. A lot of these guys make the gym rats look like little women. BUT, the big similarity to them and the gym is that if you ask the guys that are super in shape for help, they usually give it to you. Once you break that barrier of not knowing if people will judge you or not you will be fine. 

P.S. People won't judge, I guarantee that that meat head that intimidates you was once overweight or underweight.


----------



## Demiurge (Jun 23, 2011)

travelbigtime said:


> spam



SPAM: voice of reason and encouragement.

*MOD EDIT: Don't directly quote spam.*


----------



## jack10110 (Jun 26, 2011)

If you want to lose weight take an exercise course with a trainer, chances are you will be with other people who are in similar physical condition and it helps to have someone pushing you and making you work.


----------



## shredguitar7 (Jun 26, 2011)

look up Mike Menzter.. this dude was my hero as far as working out.. he had a few books and such. he is dead unfortunatly but its worth looking into giving his material a read through. he was a very smart guy. some people dont like him. but i do. check it

http://www.tugagym.info/imagens/19.jpg


----------



## revclay (Jun 26, 2011)

There's an old Indian proverb that asks, how do you eat an Elephant? One bite at a time is the answer, and while Elephant probably shouldn't be a part of your diet, metaphorically speaking you need to approach the gym one day at a time. All of those jacked meat heads you see at the gym had to start somewhere, too. Do it for yourself and who cares what other people think. We wouldn't have gyms if we all came out looking like Adonis. And as others have said, a healthy diet is critical and will make more of a difference at this stage than lifting, imo. Keep with it and you will happy you did.


----------



## Phlegethon (Jun 27, 2011)

if you're willing to plan long term and really commit to getting a large build with lots of real world strength then here's a link from google to a bunch of reg park info: 

reg park - Google Search

the interesting thing is, the only equipment you actually need is an adjustable bench to go with the dumbells/barbells. the workout that reg park recommends is very child like in its simplicity, it will give you massive strength gains with the muscles to show off with it. reg was a firm believer in "if you want to get big, you have to get strong first" line of thinking so if you stick with a workout that is similar to what he did (simple compound exercises with as much weight as you can handle with eating relatively well) you'll get a lot of worthwhile results


----------



## shanike (Jun 27, 2011)

during my 1st time in the gym, I was super-weak - I couldn't lift shit. luckily, I had a few of my mates to guide me through.
3 months into the whole thing and I could already see and FEEL the results. don't give it up, you have to start somehow.

I've been working out for 6 years now.

I wouldn't recommend working out on your own (or at home) at this early stage, you might build up incorrect technique and hurt yourself.


----------



## jon66 (Jun 28, 2011)

OP: a lot of helpful tips here: Compound movements, healthy high-protein diet, drinking mainly water, etc

Another great thing I've found in my own experiences in working out (especially when just getting on or back on the wagon, so-to-speak) is keeping a workout journal/log.

Hypothetical: Its your 1st day at the gym. Say you grab 25lb dumbells, and in your mind you want to do 3 sets of bench presses. Maybe all you can eek out that day is 8 x reps, 7 x reps and 6 x reps on each of your sets. Write that down. Do this with all your exercises, monitoring as many details as you can (workout time of day, amt of cardio done, exercises you did with the weight used, reps, rest between sets, etc) to help you track your progress. Then next workout, maybe you'll grab those same weights and do 10, 9 and 8 reps. Then the next time, 12/10/9 etc. 

What you'll have is a detailed record that you can look back on and feel encouraged and motivated based on your own personal progress. In a month or 2, you're very apt to be using 40lb dumbells (for example) on that same exercise, even if its only been 6-8 weeks after ever lifting your first weight. If you keep at it, results will come.

Hope this helps! We're all in this together!


----------



## Harry (Jun 28, 2011)

When I started lifting I was in HORRIBLE shape. Fast forward to now and I'm regularly deadlifting more than many people I see at my gym.
Don't waste your time and money on shitty, chain store weights.
You'll just end up getting rid of them inevitably.
If you're going to work out at home, invest in some quality brands. Failing being able to afford that, just slug it out at the gym.
Strength increases VERY quickly in the first 12 months. You may 'suck' now, but in 12 months, with a good training regime, you WILL be relatively strong and will be able to hang with some of the other guys at the gym.



soliloquy said:


> if you're overweight, the best thing to do, even ebtter than going to a gym would be to do something like P90X or insanity. they work better as its insane cardio and help you shed lots of weight off.
> 
> unfortunetly it wont work for me as i'm trying to gain weight, not lose it. took me a lot of hard work to finally get to 165, but my goat is to be at 180 with about 2-6% body fat percentage...so lets see how that goes.
> 
> and again, as said above, doing more weight should not be the goal. if someone can do 50lbs in bench press with PERFECT form, vs someone who can do 200lbs with horrible form, the one who is doing the 50lbs press would be getting more out of it at a faster pace than the 200lbs moron.



I think you may have a somewhat skew perception of what is actually possible with body fat levels.
If you're still alive at 2%, let us know, because at that point there is an extremely high probability you'd be dead.
A guy I know just had his first bodybuilding competition recently and practically killed himself just to get down to 7 per cent.
Said he felt like crap, felt weak and lethargic. He just didn't expect it to be so extreme as it actually is with the dieting and said he probably wont bother competing again.

The average male is designed to be able to sustain nothing lower than 9% body fat for extended periods of time. Once you get to that level, the rate at which you lose fat slows down dramatically because the body is fighting to hold onto what it has. That's the healthy body fat minimum.
6 per cent can be done naturally, but you will not be able to hold it for extended periods of time unless you're a genetically gifted athlete, otherwise you risk compromising your immune system and other various health problems.
3-4% is in the essential body fat range, that is to say, the amount of body fat you actually need for your organs to keep functioning.
Unless you're seriously starve yourself, at which rate you'll lose muscle mass or go on the 'special' supplements, it's not going to happen.
Even if you did get there, soon after you would need to bulk back up again to at least 9% so your body can function as normal.

If you want an actually realistic target, 9-10 per cent is what you want and it still looks fantastic.


----------



## CD1221 (Jun 29, 2011)

I strongly recommend the following two gentlemen for honest, genuine advice on how to train. Advice based on experience, sweat and tears:

Dan John Dan John, Lifting and Throws Coach
Ross Enamait RossTraining.com Blog

Ross has an excellent blog, great forum/community and the best value training book/videos in the business.

Dan has several books, videos and also writes for a few online sites (eg T-nation). He has a forum on dave draper's site (there is a link from his home page, above) that is excellent.

They are both the real deal, with plenty of free articles on their sites. Cannot say enough good things about them.


----------



## eventhetrees (Jul 1, 2011)

Lots of good advice in this thread.

As everyone said, all those guys in the gym had to start somewhere. I used to have the same problem when I went to my community center gym, and I'd see other kids from my school lifting way more weights than I can etc. I just chose to put on my headphones and just ignore them, focus on my own goals, which was more so to get lean and lose weight rather than get 'buff'. The first while I sucked, but you build up strength and stamina pretty fast. In my personal experience just getting the ball rolling/routine going is the hardest part.

I think the key thing is to NOT break routine haha, stay on top of that, if you keep saying oh tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow etc it's not gonna happen. 

To momentarily hijack this thread:

About 2-3 years ago I was like 190lbs (I'm about 5 11"), wasn't too fat, but I wanted to be lighter. Over about 4-6 months I got down to 160lbs, best shape I've been in ever. People that haven't seen me in awhile noticed and gave me compliments, it felt great, key thing was I kept on top of it. I had the occasional lazy slip ups then I recovered. Since then I've always averaged in the 170lbs area. 
Then I started working pretty much full time downtown (about an hour commute each way for me) so 10hrs of my way was gone to work, I would be too tired to work out when I get home and on days off I just wanted to chill. I was also going out all the time, drinking, eating SUPER late and real bad, thought nothing of it. At work drinking lots of coffee's (double doubles, triple triples etc), and all that there is to eat on a quick lunch break is generally fast food. On top of that at the start of the new year '11, I suffered a concussion snowboarding which really set me back a lot. Thankfully I've recovered from that now. Then going back to school (my old high school to pick up credits, even though I've graduated) being older than everyone etc was just very socially awkward and emotionally unsettling. So the trend continues, shitty fast food lunches, coffee's etc. Fast forward to now, I've stopped wearing my medium shirts completely and it's all large, and even those are getting tight. So I'm like fuck it, new month time to get in shape again, fuck this. I weigh myself the first time in months. 209.5lbs! I've broken the 200lbs barrier, biggest I've ever been. Not happy about this at all. Time to change. I'm gonna picture document this for fun, it should be interesting.

I have no excuses and more than enough resources to do this. In my room I have an exercise bike, weights, exercise ball, and more than enough room for stretches, sit ups etc. In my building there's a pool and sauna. 2 minute walk from my house is a community center gym (recently renovated too!). Diet is gonna be the gradual part that's the hardest. I'm obviously cutting out junk food and pop's, coffee's etc, my only exception being Monster drinks (I just love 'em too much haha, but I might cut that out slowly too!), eating at home more often (saves monies too!). Next semester in school I hope to get into the weight lifting class, which would be rad, no excuses and I'll be exercising guaranteed at least 3-5 days a week.

Getting this ball rolling is gonna be tough, but that wake up call of 209lbs is what I needed haha. Hiding under my beard also doesn't help hahaha.

/Hijacked thread.

OH also one thing to add to the thread with diet. Eating in smaller proportions spread throughout the day helps, at first it sucks cause you're like I'm still hungry, but over time you're stomach and body will adjust to the meal sizes. Also don't eat late, depending on your sleep pattern set yourself a curfew of sorts. Say you always sleep around 11-1am, stop eating at like 9pm. That helps a lot too I've found.


----------



## Shrooms (Jul 15, 2011)

Be sure to break up your routine.

My workout plan was.

Monday: Upper arms and shoulders etc. (Curls, pulls ups, shrugs, etc)
Tuesday: Legs (Squats, running, high jumps etc)
Wednesday: Bench (Close grip Wide Grip starting extremely low and then working up at 5-10 lb intervals)
Thursday: Cardio/fat burning (Sprints, pickup games, etc)
Friday Lower arms etc(forearm workouts lower arms)

Be sure to throw different workouts in there, especially for your back.


----------



## Lon (Jul 16, 2011)

2-6% bodyfat? its insanely hard to get below 12...


----------



## rturner (Jul 18, 2011)

It was a great feeling starting to workout but halfway through your program, I suddenly felt a detach from it. I started to go absent on my schedule and usually cut the program short as I just wanted to get out of the place. It is a common feeling and you just need the right motivation in order for you to follow through.

Probably set your goal and regularly update yourself to keep you aware that you are right on track.


----------

