# So, there's a new Twilight movie coming out...



## Karl Hungus (Mar 12, 2010)

...when will it end?

I'm leaving the trailer here, but don't watch it, it'll make you gag:



I remember when the first Twilight film came out, I thought it was one of the most hilariously bad films I've ever had the displeasure of seeing. Supposedly a romance, but the two leads are perhaps the most inept actors to ever disgrace the screen, so there's no chemistry between them. Just about every aspect of Twilight was a wreck. It's just one of the most shockingly awful, turgid pieces of film-making that ends up being absolutely hilarious because Robert Pattinson keeps doing his Zoolander impersonation every single scene. That, and vampire baseball. 

I could stomach the fandom because I thought there's no way it would last this long. I'm sure that once the fans grew up a little, they'd realize how utterly bad it is and move onto something else. I just couldn't fathom the fandom actually growing. Now it's everywhere, and I can't seem to get away from it. There's these fucking "Team Edward" and "Team Jacob" T-Shirts that are plastered everywhere in my local comic shop, the music shops and even the heavy metal clothing shop, as well as Twilight posters, and other garbage.

If that wasn't bad enough, did you guys see what they did to the new release of Near Dark?







Why, why, why... 

Near Dark was a fantastic vampire film, it was never anything like Twilight, so why on earth sully the good name of a classic with such a re-release to try and get it to cash in on that awful, awful teeny-vampire series.

Now what really irritates me is that in the past couple of years, there have been two Vampire films that are nothing short of masterpieces and have instantly become favorites of mine, namely Let The Right One In and Thirst. Mainstream audiences won't even give these a look because they're foreign, but will gladly fawn over rubbish like Twilight. Something's very wrong with the world if such garbage is being praised, and masterpieces are ignored.





I've raved about how awesome Let The Right One In is before, but if you get the chance, seriously give Thirst a watch. It's one of the most wildly inventive takes on the vampire mythology I've ever seen, and the central performance from Kang-ho Song is astounding.


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## pink freud (Mar 12, 2010)

Karl Hungus said:


> ...when will it end?



I'm going to take a wild guess and say...

after the fourth book is made into a movie?


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## Triple-J (Mar 12, 2010)

Man you are so right that it almost hurts....

When I was a kid I had constant nightmares about vampires but now I'm an adult I've no idea why cause vampires are just fucking pathetic. 
Vampires are there to be feared and they should be repulsive *not* attractive look at Nosferatu it's one of the best vampire movies ever but he's fucking horrific to look at.
In my opinion the downfall of the vampire in movies/books etc can be traced directly to one film.......The Lost Boys, this movie brought in all the teenage bullshit that's so typical in modern vampire movies and without it there would be no Buffy and ultimately no Twilight.

I'm not sure if you've seen it but the vampire character (Mitchell) in the show Being Human is really fucking good he strikes a balance between being a bad guy but a likeable character plus there's none of this "I have to hold back from killing people to redeem myself" shit that's so typical of many vampire characters today either.
Being Human is actually a pretty good show I hated the idea of it for a long time cause it just seemed cheesy like Buffy but I started watching it on the 2nd series and it's really good with no teenage bullshit or cringe worthy comedy moments.


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## xiphoscesar (Mar 12, 2010)




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## Karl Hungus (Mar 12, 2010)

I do remember a time when vampires were scary.






Although, I wouldn't blame The Lost Boys for the current vampire clap-trap, I think Anne Rice and her pining, brooding "Oh I'm in eternal torment" vampires have had a big effect on it as well.


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## Triple-J (Mar 14, 2010)

Yeah Anne Rice definitely played a part in the state of things as she provided a template for the modern vampire character while "The Lost Boys" was the 1st movie to make a shift away from horror and towards vampires basically being eye candy for teenage girls.
It's worth noting that for a long time zombie movies were totally out of fashion and rarely got made but within the past 10 years they've really seen a resurgence so perhaps the same will happen for the traditional vampire film?


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## vampiregenocide (Mar 14, 2010)

The three main vampire films to see : 30 Days of Night, Lost Boys, Dusk Till Dawn (for lulz). Though let teh right one in is equally awesome, though thats getting an American remake which will most likely ruin it.


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## MaxOfMetal (Mar 14, 2010)

When will it end? When the series stops making money.


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## Bloody_Inferno (Mar 14, 2010)

I ignored everything about Twilight and went straight to Thirst. 

Seriously, everyone who reads this thread should do the same... go see Thirst. Great film.


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## pink freud (Mar 14, 2010)

Triple-J said:


> Yeah Anne Rice definitely played a part in the state of things as she provided a template for the modern vampire character while "The Lost Boys" was the 1st movie to make a shift away from horror and towards vampires basically being eye candy for teenage girls.
> It's worth noting that for a long time zombie movies were totally out of fashion and rarely got made but within the past 10 years they've really seen a resurgence so perhaps the same will happen for the traditional vampire film?



I thought that Vampire$ was a pretty good rendition of what vampires would be. Of course, the book was far better than the movie.


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## MFB (Mar 15, 2010)

vampiregenocide said:


> The three main vampire films to see : 30 Days of Night, Lost Boys, Dusk Till Dawn (for lulz). Though let teh right one in is equally awesome, though thats getting an American remake which will most likely ruin it.



30 Days of Night was pretty awful and was IMO, a vampire movie that was meant to be a cash cow 

REAL 3 vampire movie to see :

Nosferatu
John Carpenter's Vampires
The Lost Boys

John Carpenter's Vampires is to me, a near perfect vampire film. You've got a lead (James Woods) who has nothing but hatred for them, a villain who will do anything and go through anyone who he has to to get his end goal, and a unique story that had never been done to my recollection in vampire movies.


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## zindrome (Mar 15, 2010)

Im a huge fan of Park Chun Woo's films.. - the Thirst director
he also directed the revenge trilogy which included Oldboy!
that guy has some vision and balls superglued together.

and on a twilight note .. I have a few friends who worked on the next movie. Made the CG werewolf haha they had a blast but none of them are looking forward to watching hte movie.. not even to see their names in the credits haha


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## vampiregenocide (Mar 15, 2010)

MFB said:


> 30 Days of Night was pretty awful and was IMO, a vampire movie that was meant to be a cash cow
> 
> REAL 3 vampire movie to see :
> 
> ...


 
I thought it was brilliant, very true to the comic and looked great.


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## Bungle (Mar 15, 2010)

Fucking Twilight.





Stephanie Meyer you cunt.


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## TonalArchitect (Mar 22, 2010)

I remember seeing the Rifftrax for the _Twilight _movie. I was astounded; there were so many awkward pauses in the movie that the commentators could speak and the dialogue could be heard without either one running over the other. It was so damn... uninteresting that it's difficult to imagine actually sitting through the movie without commentary. 

It was kind of sad; I thought that maybe it couldn't be as bad as everyone says, because people tend to be very "zero to sixty" with their comments, and the commercial success of the series was sure to only make the comments worse, but DAYUM! 

_Twilight _really is quite awful. 

Vampire baseball....


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## synrgy (Mar 22, 2010)

I don't see what the big deal is:

Twilight isn't about vampires. *Vampires don't sparkle*. End of discussion.


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## TonalArchitect (Mar 22, 2010)

^  When I heard that they sparkled, I thought it would be a glowing aura thing, but it turned out to be a glittery psoriasis thing instead!


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## pink freud (Mar 22, 2010)

synrgy said:


> I don't see what the big deal is:
> 
> Twilight isn't about vampires. *Vampires don't sparkle*. End of discussion.



They _do _sparkle....
















for approximately half a second before those sparkles turn into flames and they burn to death.


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## MFB (Mar 22, 2010)

vampiregenocide said:


> I thought it was brilliant, very true to the comic and looked great.



Ah, I didn't realize it was a comic before it became a movie. I still kind of stand by the cash cow part, for this :



Spoiler



It wasn't really like the vampires had a purpose or reason then some dude sold out the town in Alaska, and bam, they just go around killing everyone for 30 days? Ehhhh.


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## Ibanezsam4 (Mar 24, 2010)

MFB said:


> Ah, I didn't realize it was a comic before it became a movie. I still kind of stand by the cash cow part, for this :
> 
> 
> 
> ...



yeah i thought that too. so i decided to read some of the comics and it turns out there is a lot more motivation that isn't included in the movie. they weren't just mindless monsters in the comic


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## MFB (Mar 24, 2010)

Ibanezsam4 said:


> yeah i thought that too. so i decided to read some of the comics and it turns out there is a lot more motivation that isn't included in the movie. they weren't just mindless monsters in the comic





Good game Hollywood, another adaptation you've fucked up in all the worst ways


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## synrgy (Mar 24, 2010)

MFB said:


> Good game Hollywood, another adaptation you've fucked up in all the worst ways



I'm sorry, but are vampires _supposed_ to have any motivation outside of "I have to drink blood to survive"?


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## MFB (Mar 24, 2010)

synrgy said:


> I'm sorry, but are vampires _supposed_ to have any motivation outside of "I have to drink blood to survive"?



Not necessarily depending upon how they (the director/writer) make it, I mean look at Nosferatu - we really have no clue/are never told what he wants to do aside from when we get to the ending (there are obviously hints throughout the movie at the ending but I'm keeping it spoiler free) but in John Carpenter's Vampires - they were slightly different since they actually formed a plan and shit to get what they wanted (again, spoiler free)

As for the 30DoN thing, I'm just upset because for someone who DIDN'T realize it was a comic first and then saw it like I did, they may be underwhelmed and wish Hollywood did a FULL adaptation instead of a condensed one


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## Origin (Mar 24, 2010)

Hooray, more emo vampires, crying about shit, 'werewolves,' and a chick with a stone slab for a face, no matter what happens.



Awesome.


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## soldierkahn (May 10, 2010)

when will it end?

after Breaking Dawn part II


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## leftyguitarjoe (May 10, 2010)

Thirst is amazing.

and on a related note.
How Twilight Works - The Oatmeal


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## Rev2010 (May 11, 2010)

Huuuge fan of Near Dark, was since it came out and most people didn't even start finding out about it till the late 90's when it starting picking up cult classic status.

"Let The Right One In" is astonishing. Both the wife and I absolutely loved it. We were a little sceptical at first but we were surprised at how good it is. Gotta go pick that up on BluRay as it's been released a number of months back. Haven't seen Thirst yet because it looked a tad cheesy in the preview, but based on your recommendation I have to see it now 

By the way, about Near Dark... if you have it on DVD (the Anchor Bay release) don't even waste your cash on the BluRay! I did and regret it. The Bluray has tons of smearing due most likely to high use of DNR. Everytime they move around I was was like, "What the hell is with all this smearing??". Totally ruined the HD experience. On another note though the Anchor Bay DVD release looks fantastic upscaled, and I know upscaled is simply blowing it up, but it DOES look damn good.

Oh, and yeah the Twilight movies suck llama balls!!!!!!

Rev.


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## Edika (May 11, 2010)

Twilight+vampire TV series+vampires in general=1% quality,99% major intolerable and pathetic bs


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## vampiregenocide (May 11, 2010)

MFB said:


> Ah, I didn't realize it was a comic before it became a movie. I still kind of stand by the cash cow part, for this :
> 
> 
> 
> ...


 
Man, an isolated town full of placid townsfolk isolated from pretty much anywhere by miles and miles of frozen tundra? And its night for a month. Sounds like a vampires wet dream Enough motivation for me if I was one.



MFB said:


> Not necessarily depending upon how they (the director/writer) make it, I mean look at Nosferatu - we really have no clue/are never told what he wants to do aside from when we get to the ending (there are obviously hints throughout the movie at the ending but I'm keeping it spoiler free) but in John Carpenter's Vampires - they were slightly different since they actually formed a plan and shit to get what they wanted (again, spoiler free)


 
They did formulate a plan (something further explored in the comics, which take place in New Orleans). They chose the right time, got that one guy to set things up, sabotaging power, communications and transport.


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## minusthemonkey (May 11, 2010)

MFB said:


> Good game Hollywood, another adaptation you've fucked up in all the worst ways



Steve Niles wrote both the comic and the adaptation, but I think the extra slew of writers on the movie did dumb it down a bit. Spoke to him briefly at the Calgary comic-con. Pretty cool dude actually, and he hates "loveable" vamps. They are making the sequel, Dark Days, and it goes a bit deeper into the stuff they skipped out on in the first flick.


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## ittoa666 (May 12, 2010)

Nosferartu does not approve.


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## maliciousteve (May 13, 2010)

Triple-J said:


> Man you are so right that it almost hurts....
> 
> When I was a kid I had constant nightmares about vampires but now I'm an adult I've no idea why cause vampires are just fucking pathetic.
> Vampires are there to be feared and they should be repulsive *not* attractive look at Nosferatu it's one of the best vampire movies ever but he's fucking horrific to look at.
> ...



My girlfriend made me watching Being Human recently, I grew to like it. One of the more interesting programs to watch with none of that romantic vampire crap. 

My girlfriend is really into twilight and the vampire thing, I don't mind it as I quite like True Blood, but I cannot stomach Vampire Diaries, it's the fucking OC with vampires, what a pile of crap.


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## Daemoniac (May 13, 2010)

I can't deal with this shit... It's just too revolting for words.

Nosferatu and Bela Lugosi's Dracula character are still my two standing favorites. Buffy comes close as well I might add, they kept the gnarly evil side but managed to modernize it without feeling like they "sold out" the idea of vampires just so it fits.

EDIT: I've also been told numerous times to see "Daywatch" and "Nightwatch" when this conversation has come up at work and tafe and whatnot, so I may have to see them.


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## windu (May 13, 2010)

only other film worse than the first twilight iv seen is dragons wars and erogan (i think thats what it was called, based off that book) that movie was straight horrible


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## Daemoniac (May 14, 2010)

windu said:


> only other film worse than the first twilight iv seen is dragons wars and erogan (i think thats what it was called, based off that book) that movie was straight horrible



Oh fuck yes, Eragon, where the Elvish words make magic and the only 3 words he learns are the three things he conveniently happens to need later in the movie


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## lefty robb (May 14, 2010)

ittoa666 said:


> Nosferartu does not approve.


 



ittoa666 said:


> *Nosferatu* does not approve.



Sorry, I'm not usually a spelling Nazi, but, yeah..


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## MFB (May 14, 2010)

minusthemonkey said:


> Steve Niles wrote both the comic and the adaptation, but I think the extra slew of writers on the movie did dumb it down a bit. Spoke to him briefly at the Calgary comic-con. Pretty cool dude actually, and he hates "loveable" vamps. They are making the sequel, Dark Days, and it goes a bit deeper into the stuff they skipped out on in the first flick.





vampiregenocide said:


> Man, an isolated town full of placid townsfolk isolated from pretty much anywhere by miles and miles of frozen tundra? And its night for a month. Sounds like a vampires wet dream Enough motivation for me if I was one.
> 
> They did formulate a plan (something further explored in the comics, which take place in New Orleans). They chose the right time, got that one guy to set things up, sabotaging power, communications and transport.



As long as we've come to the conclusion that certain things were left out, it definitely seems to make more sense. I just wasn't a fan of the whole idea that :



Spoiler



One guy suddenly sabotages an entire town in Alaska for some reason (I forget why, I imagine the vampires promised him something in exchange) and then voila - suddenly within like 2 days the entire town is turned to shit and vampires are kicking ass for the rest of the movie.



Seemed a bit too action flicky to me and I wish they had done a slightly more informative version and kept it in the original city of New Orleans

As for cutting power, communications, and transport - I don't really remember there being much of that to begin with? Wasn't the only way to get there really by your own car/truck, and I thought they had like zero communication to other towns since they were in the middle of nowhere which, with cutting the power immediately puts their one of two ways of communicating with other towns people out of the way (the other means being by face-to-face conversation).


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## Spinedriver (May 17, 2010)

Some of my favorite 'vampire' movies would have to include:

Blade I & II (not so much the 3rd one)
Nightwatch & Daywatch (they aren't technically vampire movies per-se but the 'dark ones' are supposed to be vampires)


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## Metal Ken (May 17, 2010)

Yeah, the last vampire movie i liked was the 1992 rendition of Bram Stoker's Dracula. Where he turns into a fucking giant bloodsucking monstrosity.


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## RenegadeDave (May 18, 2010)

It did lead to one of the best youtube parodies I've seen in a while:



Totally sums up how I felt about it. 

And yes, I'm going to end up seeing this one and the fucking fourth one. Why? Because I'm married. They're going to be progressively more awful.


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## RenegadeDave (May 18, 2010)

I also blame this series for bad bands like this getting signed:


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## MFB (May 18, 2010)

Metal Ken said:


> Yeah, the last vampire movie i liked was the 1992 rendition of Bram Stoker's Dracula. Where he turns into a fucking giant bloodsucking monstrosity.



Was that the one with Gary Oldman?

Also - watched Dracula : Dead and Loving It last night. Take that serious vampire movies


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