# I'm beached as bro!



## forelander (Oct 6, 2008)

Most Aussies and Kiwi's should recognise this, but here it is for everyone else. 

YouTube - Beached Whale


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## CrushingAnvil (Oct 6, 2008)

Im not sure what to think of it, like, if australians are incinuating that we all talk like the indiginous maori folk...or what, It was funny the first time though 

I met some australian chicks in Fiji who kept thinking every 'I' I spoke was a 'U'....It was bizzarre...

"naaah, you guys say chups not chips"

"what?..."

"but...thats what you say, say chips"

"chups"

"what? you just said chups"

that was a strenuous day


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## forelander (Oct 6, 2008)

That's because every 'I' you speak is a 'U'. Well more like a cross between a 'U' and an 'e'. When one of my mates speaks I can't tell the difference between six and sex. 

It's very misleading.


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## Thrashmanzac (Oct 6, 2008)

haha i fucking love this, never gets old


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## forelander (Oct 6, 2008)

60 views, 3 replies, all of them from Aus and NZ. About what I expected .


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## Naren (Oct 7, 2008)

I wanted to respond yesterday when I read it, but I thought that my comments would be ignored.

I work with two Australians, but I've never heard either of them talk even remotely like the guys in this skit. "I'm beached as."? What the hell does that mean. It sounded like he was saying "I'm beached is." And neither of those sentences make sense. "I'm beached as bro" is even more confusing.

I get the chips and chups thing and a lot of the other kinda weird stuff he said, but what was up with that "beached as"/beached is" nonsense?


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## forelander (Oct 7, 2008)

Naren said:


> I wanted to respond yesterday when I read it, but I thought that my comments would be ignored.
> 
> I work with two Australians, but I've never heard either of them talk even remotely like the guys in this skit. "I'm beached as."? What the hell does that mean. It sounded like he was saying "I'm beached is." And neither of those sentences make sense. "I'm beached as bro" is even more confusing.
> 
> I get the chips and chups thing and a lot of the other kinda weird stuff he said, but what was up with that "beached as"/beached is" nonsense?



You've never heard either of the Australians talk like that, because the whale in the skit has a new zealand accent, and it's a parody of the indigenous new zealand people's way of talking. 

In (apparently Australian / NZ slang) when someone says "I'm <something> as!" it means "I'm <something> as (and I can't think of an appropriate comparison so lets just leave it there)." It's something more common in children and possibly the NZ group that is being parodied.


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## Naren (Oct 7, 2008)

forelander said:


> You've never heard either of the Australians talk like that, because the whale in the skit has a new zealand accent, and it's a parody of the indigenous new zealand people's way of talking.
> 
> In (apparently Australian / NZ slang) when someone says "I'm <something> as!" it means "I'm <something> as (and I can't think of an appropriate comparison so lets just leave it there)." It's something more common in children and possibly the NZ group that is being parodied.



Ah, I see. So both of those people were supposed to be New Zealanders, then. I don't know any New Zealanders, just Australians, so that would explain it.

Okay, so why do they say "as bro"? Is that supposed to be "I'm beached as, bro." Because it sounds like "I'm beached as bro." Like, "I'm as beached as someone's brother was."


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## FredGrass (Oct 7, 2008)

It's like "I'm beached as, bro". It's used a lot online too by people from everywhere. Imagine an expletive or simile after the word "as".

That whale video is awesome. So is the "Sausaged as" one. I giggled good.


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## Naren (Oct 7, 2008)

From everywhere? Americans for sure don't use it (except maybe after seeing this video), none of the Canadians from where I lived used it (I lived on the border of the US and Canada), and none of the British I've ever met have used it... "I'm drunk as fuck" or "I'm trashed as hell" and stuff like that I hear all the time.  

I'm betting this is just an Australian and New Zealander thing...


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## Harry (Oct 7, 2008)

forelander said:


> You've never heard either of the Australians talk like that, because the whale in the skit has a new zealand accent, and it's a parody of the indigenous new zealand people's way of talking.
> 
> In (apparently Australian / NZ slang) when someone says "I'm <something> as!" it means "I'm <something> as (and I can't think of an appropriate comparison so lets just leave it there)." It's something more common in children and possibly the NZ group that is being parodied.



I didn't even understand your explanation (although I do know what it means though) and I'm from Melbourne


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## DelfinoPie (Oct 7, 2008)

Naren said:


> "I'm drunk as fuck" or "I'm trashed as hell" and stuff like that I hear all the time.
> 
> I'm betting this is just an Australian and New Zealander thing...



I somehow got into the habit of saying "Safe as cunt" and "Sweet as bricks"...I too have never heard the "I'm <something> as" phrase before 

Ah well


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## Harry (Oct 7, 2008)

Naren said:


> I wanted to respond yesterday when I read it, but I thought that my comments would be ignored.
> 
> I work with two Australians, but I've never heard either of them talk even remotely like the guys in this skit. "I'm beached as."? What the hell does that mean. It sounded like he was saying "I'm beached is." And neither of those sentences make sense. "I'm beached as bro" is even more confusing.
> 
> I get the chips and chups thing and a lot of the other kinda weird stuff he said, but what was up with that "beached as"/beached is" nonsense?



I'll try to explain the "Beached as" thing (since Beached "is" is merely the result of the extreme New Zealander accent you're hearing, and at all times in the video they are always saying "Beach as".
Basically, if I were to say "I'm feeling fucked as, bro", Australians and New Zealanders intrinsically know that would roughly translate to "I'm feeling extremely (but any kinda superlative term adjective can fit in the place of extremely) fucked". Yes, somehow "as" in this context just somehow replaces the need to actually describe how one would feel (in the context of the sentence" I"m feeling fucked as, bro" because "as" in fact both means "as" AND an adjective (which is not actually present in the sentence itself) simultaneously.

That's actually the first time I've explained that to someone, since I've never really thought about how that would sound/look from the perspective of a non Australian/New Zealander.
Typically I don't use much colloquialisms much myself, and even as an Australian myself, I've encounterd many many apparently 'typical' colloquialisms that are completely meaningless to me. 
I would just say " I feel exremely fucked up right now", but that's because I'm weird and for some reason try to avoid colloquialisms where possible, but obviously I've been exposed to some enough times I can understand what they mean. I honestly think many Australian colloquialisms go way too far and just make you sound like you're borderline retarded when you speak

As for the accent, I sound absolutely nothing like that. 
I once said to a friend "Do you think my accent sounds kinda like if you were to mix up bits of American, Canadian and British and add that to an accent that is primarily "Australian?" and indeed he said yes.
My accent is really so watered down, diluted perhaps that I almost don't think I sound "Australian" as such, I sound like some guy from some imaginary English speaking country.
I'll try to explain that a bit further.
Take some hypothetical situations, like an Australian guy with a really strong "typically Australian" accent trying to talk to an American, Canadian and/or British person. They would probably ask the Australian guy to repeat himself many times.
I never had that problem speaking to British, Canadian or American people. I seem to have this accent that has enough qualities of each that seem to make it even easier for me to be able to be understood while talking to a Yank, Canadian or Brit.
I think part of the reason for my accent is that my mother was born in the Philippines, where they are only really exposed to American English, and my mother has many Filippino friends whom have a very noticeable amount of American in their accent, and I imagine I was exposed to a lot of that accent from my mother (who was still relatively new to the country when I was born) and her friends.

That went on for a bit of a rant there but hopefully stuff made sense.


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## oompa (Oct 7, 2008)

conclusions drawn:

1: im glad im not the only one who didnt understand (thanks Naren!)

2: i still don't tho, and i read the whole thread twice.

3: that colloqqbla word you use HughesJB4 is stranger than anything else in this thread.

4: i still dont know what a kiwi is, if i google it i end up with stuff about the fruit.

5: australians (ive met plenty during trip's, and spoke to plenty on the net) is the only ones, any language or dialect included, that is harder to understand reading than hearing.
whats up with that?

also: all your english dialects are wrong about the vowels anyway.
not to mention that you use their sound randomly (boot - floor. different)
a few examples with their -real- vowels (british mainly here):

A = ei. Car = a, flat = &#228;. 
E = i. here = e. her = &#246;.
O = &#246;u. floor = &#229;. doom = o.
U = iu. full = &#229;. lure = &#246;. 
aussie = &#229;ssi.
american = &#246;meriken.

learn2vowel. and you dont even have a real u. not to mention &#229;, &#228; and &#246;.

and i still dont understand anything.


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## Harry (Oct 7, 2008)

DelfinoPie said:


> I somehow got into the habit of saying "Safe as cunt" and "Sweet as bricks"...I too have never heard the "I'm <something> as" phrase before
> 
> Ah well



Safe as cunt? I heard you can get diseases down there if you aren't careful



oompa said:


> conclusions drawn:
> 
> 1: im glad im not the only one who didnt understand (thanks Naren!)
> 
> ...



Dude, WTF is a "colloqqbla word"?


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## FredGrass (Oct 7, 2008)

HughesJB4 said:


> Dude, WTF is a "colloqqbla word"?



He didn't understand the word _colloquialism_, which is used to describe a word that isn't generally accepted as proper but is used in conversation and informal literature. It's a fancy word for _slang_.



Naren said:


> I'm betting this is just an Australian and New Zealander thing...



You can bet all you want but I bet you also never heard anyone say "teh" or "wub" when you lived there either. I'm talking about online jargon, and my experience tells me that people from across the globe have used it online.


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## oompa (Oct 7, 2008)

HughesJB4 said:


> bla bla. 'typical' colloquialisms. bla bla. bla! avoid colloquialisms bla bla, bla? Australian colloquialisms. bla.
> 
> bla bla, but hopefully stuff made sense.


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## Naren (Oct 7, 2008)

A dictionary, Oompa. It'll help you out.  Colloquialism is a very common word when talking about language. www.dictionary.com

And a kiwi is a New Zealander. They are named after a bird called the kiwi that is native to New Zealand. So, it has those 3 different meanings. The kiwi is the national bird of New Zealand which is why New Zealanders are referred to as kiwis.

Here's the bird: Kiwi - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

And to FredGrass, no, I have never heard "teh" in real life, but that comes from a common keyboard typing mistake where the h and e get reversed, so it's not something you would actually say. I have heard "wub" since the 80s (Awww, I wub you). It's an imitation of how a child speaks, where the child replaces R's and L's with W's (for example, "I weally wike you").


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## Zepp88 (Oct 8, 2008)

Ah shit, I'm confused as.


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## forelander (Oct 8, 2008)

Zepp88 said:


> Ah shit, I'm confused as.



It seems to me you know exactly what you're on about. 

The use of as isn't hard. Imagine this:

I'm tired as a dog. This is a statement indicating that you are very tired. Now remove the "a dog," or whatever more poetic phrase you chose. 

I'm tired as. This statement also indicates you are very tired, though without a direct comparison. This can be applied to phrases or descriptions that don't have a common comparison when speaking. For example being beached. a can't really think of an analogy to use about how beached one could be, but the phrase "I'm beached as," maintains the meaning that I am in fact very beached. 

Also for the record, such a colloquialism isn't exactly common place in Australian slang. The cartoon is parodying a specific group of New Zealand people. 

After all that, I'm parched as.


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## Zepp88 (Oct 8, 2008)

It seems somewhat of an implied phrase, and I've heard it used before so it's not exactly alien to me.


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## Mattayus (Oct 8, 2008)

CrushingAnvil said:


> Im not sure what to think of it, like, if australians are incinuating that we all talk like the indiginous maori folk...or what, It was funny the first time though
> 
> I met some australian chicks in Fiji who kept thinking every 'I' I spoke was a 'U'....It was bizzarre...
> 
> ...



i went out with a Kiwi for four years, and lived in NZ for about a year out of those 4, so i can honestly say that this is asbsolute truth 

"thet's fentestuc ay bru!?" etc..


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## CrushingAnvil (Oct 8, 2008)

Haha, this is entertaining.

Its not all new zealanders who speak like that whale, it is actually the Maori/Indiginous/islanders who do that...thats where the whole 'chups' shit came from, from australians meeting Maori's 

FYI - Maori's are the brown people who try to claim everything as theirs even though they smoke methanephetamine the whole time and steal MP3 players...

I'll probably sound like a bigot but its the truth...


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## Mattayus (Oct 8, 2008)

i can vouch for this, it is the truth.

they stand on street corners wearing bandannas and checkered shirts, desert boots and sunglasses, listening to Dei Hamo from their Cadillac with bouncing suspension, like it's fuckin South Central LA. But here's the beauty of it... they accuse all the people of 'English' decent in NZ of ruining their fucking heritage! YOU'RE NOT BLACK!!!


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## Leec (Oct 10, 2008)

The 'tired as' thing is used in the UK, too. I've definitely heard it used. 

I'm surprised as that this topic got as much mileage as it did, though.


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## estabon37 (Oct 12, 2008)

I'm surprised that the resident Australians haven't pointed out that plankton is a preferred dish in this area of the world. Hell, I eat plankton maybe three times a week. Then again, I can't chew - it's very misleading.


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## Zepp88 (Oct 12, 2008)

Is plankton tasty as?


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## estabon37 (Oct 12, 2008)

It's tasty as, bro


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## Zepp88 (Oct 12, 2008)

Gimme that shit.


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## oompa (Oct 12, 2008)

:truckinas:


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## Zepp88 (Oct 12, 2008)

oompa said:


> :truckinas:


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