# Help! I promised a girl guitar lessons



## AliceLG (Sep 12, 2013)

I have no idea where to begin or how to tackle this. My drunk self probably thought he was doing me a favor, but no.

So, I promised a girl that I would give her guitar lessons. She has never played and isn't musically trained in any way. Where do I begin? I've never had lessons myself nor given any, so I have no experience, at all.

Suggestions please!


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## MrPepperoniNipples (Sep 12, 2013)

Teach the basic open chords, I imagine would be the way to go


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## tripguitar (Sep 12, 2013)

honestly for the first lesson, show her the parts of the guitar and what they are called, ie: frets, neck, body, tuners, bridge... you dont have to get super detailed but its a great way to get her familiar with the instrument. show her how to hold it, and the pick. teach her the note names of the strings and how to tune it.

then if you can cover all that in the first lesson and need more, teach her smoke on the water, on one string. it will get her strumming hand used to where the strings are, and her fretting hand used to fretting.

dont be surprised with how bad it will sound, be very encouraging and supportive. no one wants to hear that they suck, even if its their first time holding a damn guitar!


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## Overtone (Sep 12, 2013)

Power chord song! My philosophy is to make the guitar fun enough to get past that initial hurdle. Instead of spending the week thinking "wait, which one is Am again?" the student gets to spend it getting physically familiar with their instrument.


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## ihunda (Sep 12, 2013)

Look at her breast squishing on top of the guitar body, enjoy.


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## Osorio (Sep 12, 2013)

Ask what she wants to learn, songs and etc. Teach her those.


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## MoshJosh (Sep 12, 2013)

I'd say start with some open chords and pick a simple song to strum along with one she gets the chords down


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## Mr. Big Noodles (Sep 12, 2013)

tripguitar said:


> honestly for the first lesson, show her the parts of the guitar and what they are called, ie: frets, neck, body, tuners, bridge... you dont have to get super detailed but its a great way to get her familiar with the instrument. show her how to hold it, and the pick. teach her the note names of the strings and how to tune it.
> 
> then if you can cover all that in the first lesson and need more, teach her smoke on the water, on one string. it will get her strumming hand used to where the strings are, and her fretting hand used to fretting.
> 
> dont be surprised with how bad it will sound, be very encouraging and supportive. no one wants to hear that they suck, even if its their first time holding a damn guitar!



This. I remember back in highschool, a girl I knew asked some question about playing the guitar, so I played something simple for here and showed her where to put her fingers. I think it might have been a melody, because her left hand was correct but she was strumming every string, making an awful cacophonous mess. She didn't know that you could play one string at a time, or a subset of strings. Your first goal is to demystify the instrument. There is no magic in the technique. Knowing that will open up the instrument to the student.

The first lesson should be extremely basic, particularly for new musicians. You can't begin to play an instrument if you're scared that you'll break it just by holding it. Take a violin lesson sometime if you want to get the perspective of a new guitar player - you will feel at every moment awkward and uncomfortable. Making a sound with the instrument comes later, after the anatomy.


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## larry (Sep 12, 2013)

ihunda said:


> Look at her breast squishing on top of the guitar body, enjoy.





tripguitar said:


> honestly for the first lesson, show her the parts of the guitar and what they are called, ie: frets, neck, body, tuners, bridge... you dont have to get super detailed but its a great way to get her familiar with the instrument. show her how to hold it, and the pick. teach her the note names of the strings and how to tune it.
> 
> then if you can cover all that in the first lesson and need more, teach her smoke on the water, on one string. it will get her strumming hand used to where the strings are, and her fretting hand used to fretting.
> 
> dont be surprised with how bad it will sound, be very encouraging and supportive. no one wants to hear that they suck, even if its their first time holding a damn guitar!





SchecterWhore said:


> This. I remember back in highschool, a girl I knew asked some question about playing the guitar, so I played something simple for here and showed her where to put her fingers. I think it might have been a melody, because her left hand was correct but she was strumming every string, making an awful cacophonous mess. She didn't know that you could play one string at a time, or a subset of strings. Your first goal is to demystify the instrument. There is no magic in the technique. Knowing that will open up the instrument to the student.
> 
> The first lesson should be extremely basic, particularly for new musicians. You can't begin to play an instrument if you're scared that you'll break it just by holding it. Take a violin lesson sometime if you want to get the perspective of a new guitar player - you will feel at every moment awkward and uncomfortable. Making a sound with the instrument comes later, after the anatomy.



^^^


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## mindwalker (Sep 13, 2013)

Teach her some basic fingering

Then have her practice some upstrokes and downstrokes


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## amonb (Sep 13, 2013)

SchecterWhore said:


> Your first goal is to demystify the instrument. There is no magic in the technique. Knowing that will open up the instrument to the student.



This. It took me years to figure this out on my own.


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## Mr. Big Noodles (Sep 13, 2013)

ihunda said:


> Look at her breast squishing on top of the guitar body, enjoy.





SchecterWhore said:


> Making a sound with the instrument comes later, after the anatomy.





mindwalker said:


> Teach her some basic fingering
> 
> Then have her practice some upstrokes and downstrokes



Curse my puerile sense of humor. You know what you doing, take off every Zig.


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## straightshreddd (Sep 13, 2013)

If I had a nickel for all the times a chick has asked me to give her guitar lessons, I'd be rich. 

If I had a nickel for all the times they've actually wanted to go through with it, buckle down, and learn to play the guitar, I'd have one nickel.

Most of the time, when chicks ask for "guitar lessons" it's either because they're into you and wanna hang out with you, or it's just something they enjoy imagining themselves doing but don't want to endure the long learning process. Kinda like how I'd love to someday learn how to speak an exotic language very fluently, but will most likely never have the patience to, but it's a fun thought.

I did teach my little sister to play basic open chords, the pentatonic scale, and I bought her an acoustic guitar and she progressed very fast. Faster than a lot of guys I know. However, she hardly plays anymore because she hit a creative wall and doesn't have time or effort to put into learning more.


I say, if the chick is serious and wants to learn guitar, do everything tripguitar said. If not, just go with the flow and chill with her.


I'd love to meet a chick who plays well.


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## Spaced Out Ace (Sep 13, 2013)

AliceLG said:


> I have no idea where to begin or how to tackle this. My drunk self probably thought he was doing me a favor, but no.
> 
> So, I promised a girl that I would give her guitar lessons. She has never played and isn't musically trained in any way. Where do I begin? I've never had lessons myself nor given any, so I have no experience, at all.
> 
> Suggestions please!



Hopefully she likes AC/DC, cuz that'd be very easy to teach her on electric. It'd get her the basics of rhythm and then she could build up from there as you guide her along.


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## Idontpersonally (Sep 13, 2013)

Bar chords. Some 12 bar blues, then when shes comfortable with a few shapes, some permutations to build up finger strength and get her familiar with the rest of the fretboard.


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## UV7BK4LIFE (Sep 13, 2013)

AliceLG said:


> I have no idea where to begin or how to tackle this. My drunk self probably thought he was doing me a favor, but no.


 
Alcohol + women... will the madness ever stop? 

I say +1 to the method "Ask for her favorite artists and pick a song that is stupid simple."


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## Solodini (Sep 13, 2013)

venneer said:


> Ask what she wants to learn, songs and etc. Teach her those.


 
This, specifically with melodies. I don't think teaching chords is a good starting point as it's too much coordination, fingers will start to hurt quicker as they don't really have a chance to rest between notes and chord sequences often aren't that recognisable unless they form a riff. 

Ask what songs she likes and would want to play, take the melody, even if it's a vocal melody, break it up into 3 note chunks. Write them down in order of shortest chunk to longest chunk. I generally layout 2, 3, 4 and 5 note chunks.
Get her to pick one chunk. Teach her how to play it. Ask her whether she likes how it sounds. Continue like this until she has them down. Now arrange them in whatever order she likes. Woo, she's written a tune which is pretty much guaranteed to sound decent enough as it's using phrases from an already established song. If it doesn't, just rearrange the chunks until you have a decent tune out of it.

Once she has written her tune from that, then suggest she play them in the order which will make the initial tune and she will be all surprised as she'll know all of the bits and it'll make that tune she likes with relative ease. It's hummable, whistlable, singable, playable so it'll work its way around her head after that and stick with her. She'll probably feel more proud because of remembering that she achieved it and that memory goes along with the fact that she's created something of her own. 

You/she can then chop up her melody into new chunks and rearrange them to make another new tune. From here you can start to bring in elements of theory, if you want. You can make her aware of that phrase she likes which she keeps coming back to is AD and A to D is what is called a 4th: A is the 1st note, B is the 2nd, C is the 3rd, D is the 4th. You can point out that there's another 4th from D to G. There's a new phrase which is similar to her already established tastes so you're expanding her musical vocabulary. That one addition will hugely expand creative possibilities as it'll interact with the other phrases pretty differently from AD.

If you can bring in phrases from other tunes and coerce her into playing them then she'll have sudden shocks of pride without feeling like she's just going to struggle to play the music she likes by viewing it as a whole.

Also, be silly! Being silly is really helpful. Daft analogies [are we adding that to the list of innuendos in this thread?] and silly voices when you're embodying an idea or singing an interval will exaggerate a point, make it more memorable and lighten the tone so you're not a dull lecturer and it's a fun interaction instead.

Make sure she understands, as well. Ask her if she does. If she seems unsure, quiz her a little bit or go through it again in small incremements and check in with her after each one so you can see where her understanding is lost. Then continue and see how she seems to be handling it. There's no point in you continuing on and her not understanding what you're on about. She'll become bored and think she's just not musical, which is a lie [everyone's musical: we all have a rhythm in us], just because you take these things for granted with your extra experience.

Good luck.


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## EcoliUVA (Sep 13, 2013)

Solodini said:


> This, specifically with melodies. I don't think teaching chords is a good starting point as it's too much coordination, fingers will start to hurt quicker as they don't really have a chance to rest between notes and chord sequences often aren't that recognisable unless they form a riff.
> 
> [*freakin sweet idea*]



Melody is definitely where it's at. I taught a couple of kids in the last town I lived in, but I am by no means a master instructor. At the recommendation of a much better teacher than myself, I started the couple of students I had with a basic, well-known melody (the same one). Watching them light up when they make recognizable sounds is fantastic. Most people are used to focusing on vocals (a melody), so this approach is much more relatable than chords.

Solodini's idea is awesome - not only will she get to play a melody, but write her own tune? Hell yeah. Panties be droppin'. 

Seriously though, sense of accomplishment is what motivates, and this would be a great way to achieve that.


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## VBCheeseGrater (Sep 13, 2013)

I somehow managed to get myself in a situation where i had to teach a friends 11 year old. 

I started with the notes on the first five frets, single note "ode to joy" by beethoven. Everyone recognizes it, and it was the first thing in my first guitar book i learned. After some single note practice, then move on to chords. Just my experience...might bore your friend to death.


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## morethan6 (Sep 13, 2013)

Just turn up with a saxophone and refer to it as a guitar.

Guaranteed no more lessons.


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## nikolazjalic (Sep 13, 2013)

straightshreddd said:


> If I had a nickel for all the times a chick has asked me to give her guitar lessons, I'd be rich.
> 
> If I had a nickel for all the times they've actually wanted to go through with it, buckle down, and learn to play the guitar, I'd have one nickel.
> 
> ...



^ This bro. I'm willing to bet anything that this chick was into you and wants to hang out. Girls are much more subtle when showing interest so you gotta look for little hints. They fear rejection more than us so they'll never blatantly say it. I highly doubt that she's wanting to come over to learn some chords and scales so that she can go out, buy a guitar and begin her musical endeavors, she's coming over to be with you. Especially if she was drunk as well. People say goofy shit when they're hammed. Don't worry about it, most likely she won't come over to learn guitar and if she does, just be casual with it and hang out. Maybe show her some basic chords or something. It doesn't really matter, you can decide what your lessons are gonna be like once you find out her intentions.


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## viesczy (Sep 13, 2013)

Even easier... first lesson have her watch Hail! Hail! Rock and Roll.

She'll then say, 'if that [email protected] Keith Richards can play guitar anyone can'. She'll then be unafraid of the instrument.

Derek


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## tyler_faith_08 (Sep 14, 2013)

UV7BK4LIFE said:


> Alcohol + women... will the madness ever stop?





UV7BK4LIFE said:


> I say +1 to the method "Ask for her favorite artists and pick a song that is stupid simple."



"Uhhmm... I kind of like, sort of like music like stuff like Michael Angelo Batio and Shawn Lane and Paul Gilbert and stuff. Can you teach me to play their songs?"

On a serious note, teach her to use the fret markers early in the lesson so that you don't have to sit there and be like, "No, the 4th fret. No, the 4th fret. No, the 4th fret. No, the 4th fret. Yeah, that fret, just not on that string. No, they're not all the same. No, the 4th fret."

Teach her the strings in a way that she can remember: EAD GBe or EA DG Be and put emphasis on certain ones to make them easier to remember. You know what I mean, shit. 

Teach her how to properly fret a note. Then go through simple steps of how insufficient pressure, improper finger placement, etc. can make a note sound bad or make it buzz.

Next, show her to play (as previously mentioned) Smoke on the Water, then Iron man, and Smells Like Teen Spirit. You can do this by saying index finger, this fret this string, middle finger that fret that string, etc. Then, while sitting close to her and leaning all up on her, show her how to move the simple ass five chord by grabbing her hand and actually doing it. 


Also, act mind blown by her natural shred abilities so as to have a chance to blow her mind later  . Things like, "you're the fastest learning student that I've ever had" or "you should really consider buying one. I'd give you mine if I didn't need it" or "I just can't get over how good you are with your left hand" or yeah, thats faster than I learned. I know because thats why I kept looking at my watch. It only took you 7 hours to learn Iron Man. It took me over 2 days."


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## AliceLG (Sep 16, 2013)

Thanks for all the tips guys, this is really good. I liked the "demistify the instrument" idea a lot, I remember having a lot of trouble with finding the right position and strumming technique way back then.

The melody idea and getting to play with it is also very good and could be some fun homework between the first couple of "lessons".


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## wannabguitarist (Sep 16, 2013)

How do you teach someone to hold a guitar?  I did this over the weekend and I couldn't for the life of me explain how to properly hold the intrument other than "keep the edge perpendicular to you thigh instead laying the whole thing on your lap" 

But yeah, boobs


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## Mr. Big Noodles (Sep 16, 2013)

^ You can't explain it in such exacting terms if you want to teach effectively. I am taking a conducting class right now; the professor explains the pose of the hand during the ictus "like shaking someone's hand". That's easy, everybody has some rudimentary idea of how to shake a hand. Mind you, not everybody does it well (even in the class, we went through and corrected bad handshakes) but you can easily talk about the anatomy of a handshake since the concept is simple and relatively familiar to everyone. The other way is to manufacture a situation so that the body can do nothing _but_ fall into the proper position. My voice teacher occasionally has me put my hands behind my back to open up my ribcage to get more breath support. You can't put your hands back like that and not have your ribcage expand. I think the trick is to find something like that, and correct any aberrations. One of the enlightening moments in my music education was when I was playing for my piano teacher, and he touched my shoulder. It wasn't very insistent, just a light press, and it drew my attention there enough to realize I had a ridiculous amount of tension in my shoulder. I looked like ....ing Glenn Gould.







I don't know how you would communicate anything like this on the guitar. Maybe starting by standing up would help - all you need is a strong stance (don't slouch over, keep the core aligned, etc.), get the strap at the correct height, don't have tension in the arms, shoulders, or neck, and gravity does the rest. Walking around while the guitar is strapped on might shake out some bad positioning. Then, once a good standing position is found, you get used to that and have a reference point for what feels good when sitting. Or maybe not. I'm sure some of you have better ideas about this. Thoughts?


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## AliceLG (Sep 17, 2013)

I was planning on just showing her the 2 basic sitting-down positions: classical and "on the other leg". Then she could try both of them and see what feels more comfortable. Considering how petite she is, I'd say she'll forgo the classical stance.


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## bobbyprayogo (Sep 17, 2013)

Overtone said:


> My philosophy is to make the guitar fun enough to get past that initial hurdle. Instead of spending the week thinking "wait, which one is Am again?" the student gets to spend it getting physically familiar with their instrument.



I have to agree with this part. For beginning guitar student, make the student gets the fun out of playing guitar IMMEDIATELY and she will progress faster.

Hope the best for the teaching


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## Solodini (Sep 17, 2013)

wannabguitarist said:


> How do you teach someone to hold a guitar?  I did this over the weekend and I couldn't for the life of me explain how to properly hold the intrument other than "keep the edge perpendicular to you thigh instead laying the whole thing on your lap"
> 
> But yeah, boobs


 
Neck of guitar pointing up at 45 degree angle is a helpful one.


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## Dregg (Sep 17, 2013)

I'm no guitarist, but if I would teach someone bass, I would start with going through all the different parts of the bass so the person actually knows what it consists of. After that, showing how to position it and how to start plucking would be the way to go. After that, various techniques on how to do it "correct" (it's important to get the proper techniques early, or else you're gonna develop bad habits that are hard to get rid off).

First after all THAT, start doing some chords/scales and eventually the first song. If someone wants to learn how to play properly, that's how you do it, IMHO. If the person is unpatient, you just have to convince them otherwise. If not, I would refuse teaching because I don't think person really wants to learn. My two cents.


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## Solodini (Sep 17, 2013)

I used to try teaching scales before songs and it generally bores people at the start. Scales came after tunes: we didn't come up with scales so we could write music; we came up with the language of scales to understand the music we made. Tunes can lead you into scales and give more of a frame of reference for why it's useful.


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## Kaickul (Sep 18, 2013)

Just go ahead and teach her songs she likes to play, then along the way you teach her the chords used.


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## AliceLG (Sep 19, 2013)

First lesson done. It was OK.

I explained all the guitar parts, and this was a classical guitar so it took little to no time. Showed her how to tune it with and without a tuner. We covered sitting positions and then did some exercises to get the fingers going.

She's more into the singer/songwriter kinda tunes, and most of the ones she mentioned are fingerpicked so I'll focus on that for the next lessons.


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## Hollowway (Sep 19, 2013)

So I don't have a huge amount of input for the topic as stated, but I do have a number of questions about the topic that is not stated. Namely, should we be giving answers with some ulterior motive in mind? ie are you into her, and hoping this will translate into a relationship? Or is she into you? I say that because I'm assuming that you're into her, and that's why you offered to teach her and have not reneged.


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## Solodini (Sep 19, 2013)

Might be worth making the singer songwriter stuff a duet, you playing the usual guitar part and her playing the melody. Fingerpicked stuff like that is usually pretty intricate, meaning coordinated.

Unless you can lock down chords and clearly explain which strings to pick in which order and then do the same with the next chord, of course. I can see that this sort of explanation being confusing or really simple, depending on how it's done. If you explain it as a sequence of notes it'll be really confusing and certain fingers will lift up and wrong notes will throw concentration as an open E is picked rather than G on that string. If it's a manual of mechanics that may be easier but also more easily forgotten.

Something which may help to teach simplified fingerpicked stuff: give her the bassline of one of those songs and teach her that. Focus on the rhythmic elements, explain basic counting, and pay attention to rests in between notes. Count the rhythms and show her how to, as well. "That note is on the + of 2 and holds over to the end of beat 3 then rest on 4, next note of + of 4 [plays example; plays again while counting it]"

After that you can split a picky guitar part into low 3 strings and high 3 strings. Teach her the high strings part, play it together. The previous time spent on rests will mean she can play the high strings part and be comfortable with the spaces where low string notes would be. Make sure you have learned the low strings part in advance. Once she's comfortable playing her part, do it as a duet of you playing the low part and her playing the high part so you have the whole thing in combination. She won't have 6 strings to focus on right away but she'll still end up able to play important bits of the song. I suggested have her playing high bits so she doesn't need to try to reach right across to the low strings when her fingers aren't used to it.


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## AliceLG (Sep 19, 2013)

Hollowway said:


> So I don't have a huge amount of input for the topic as stated, but I do have a number of questions about the topic that is not stated. Namely, should we be giving answers with some ulterior motive in mind?



The ulterior motive in mind is for her to learn to play some guitar, because it's something she has wanted to pick up "since forever".



Hollowway said:


> ie are you into her, and hoping this will translate into a relationship?



I'm not into her, or not yet. She's very cute. I'm not hoping this will turn into anything else.



Hollowway said:


> Or is she into you?



Don't think so. But I'm a very bad judge when it comes to that.



Hollowway said:


> I say that because I'm assuming that you're into her, and that's why you offered to teach her and have not reneged.



I offered to teach her because she said she wanted to learn and I was too drunk to think of anything else. I haven't reneged because I'm a man of my word


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## White Liquorice (Sep 26, 2013)

Be like Ralph Paul. I bet he gets more ass than a toilet seat. 


If that type of stuff is too difficult, don't forget about open and drop tunings.


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## Pezshreds (Sep 26, 2013)

hahaha the ol' "I'm drunk and will say yes to anything because I'm a mega nice drunk guy".
I also suffer from this syndrome haha

I taught a girl old macdonald, definitely had ulterior motives............succeeded though


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## kamello (Sep 26, 2013)

AliceLG said:


> The ulterior motive in mind is for her to learn to play some guitar, because it's something she has wanted to pick up "since forever".
> 
> I'm not into her, or not yet. She's very cute. I'm not hoping this will turn into anything else.



reminded me of a girl who asked me the same, in fact, I even made a thread here http://www.sevenstring.org/forum/beginners-faq/168151-explaining-tunings-noob.html

I went to her house and taught her ''Aerials'' by SOAD, she was actually pretty good at it for her first class, 15 minutes later we where in the couch


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## imgarrett (Sep 27, 2013)

lol @ some of the responses in this thread. Too much, too much.


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## Solodini (Oct 2, 2013)

White Liquorice said:


> Be like Ralph Paul. I bet he gets more ass than a toilet seat.
> 
> 
> If that type of stuff is too difficult, don't forget about open and drop tunings.


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## Solodini (Jun 30, 2014)

Did anything come of this?


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## AliceLG (Jun 30, 2014)

Classes are still going, once a week when possible, if not once every other week. She's been making some progress but waaaaay less than I expected. Mainly because of her lack of time management skills. Some of the lessons have turned into TM lessons actually, and stress relief exercises, and career counseling.

To be bluntly honest the only thing keeping me interested in continuing with this is that she's a great cook and always has dinner ready. I'd like to see some more progress but until she figures her shit out it won't happen. I've made that last part pretty clear. She just sucks at finding time to practice, but by now she's understood that she needs to if she really wants to get any kind of decent playing under her belt.

inb4 regarding the plausible ulterior motive that was discussed: she's managed to land herself solidly in the not-with-a-ten-foot-pole category. I've gotten to know her quite good and she's not what I'm looking for in a relationship. Might be an opportunity wasted but I'd rather not explore it. And hook-ups/one-time-things have never been my thing.


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## Musiscience (Aug 28, 2014)

White Liquorice said:


> Be like Ralph Paul. I bet he gets more ass than a toilet seat.



That made my day


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## Sheagle7 (Aug 28, 2014)

Be patient with her!! lol


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## tweeky99 (Nov 15, 2014)

There's a video course now on how to teach guitar. I haven't tried it and it might be overkill for your particular needs but it looks pretty good.


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## AKopp (Nov 18, 2014)

Be careful, I gave a girl guitar lessons three years ago. Well I should say lesson... We're now married and have a son, lol.


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