# OK, I Have To Post This..... And I Really Do Not Mean To Be An Ass.... But......



## shaneroo (Aug 5, 2008)

This guy must be joking......... tell me this is a joke........ or......... someone really needs to tell him something


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## Nazca (Aug 5, 2008)

Well he kicks my ass


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## Naren (Aug 5, 2008)

And he made it look so professional, almost like he's John Petrucci.

I just couldn't stop laughing at how he kept playing the same 2 or 3 chords over and over again and paused every single time he changed chords. He says he's going to teach "beginners out there," but isn't he a beginner...? 

A "wah-wah bar"?  What's that? "A hawaiian sound" 

You "have to tune to that piano"? What about a tuner?  It's pretty funny how the first video is talking about such basic stuff.

At first I thought it was a joke, but there were almost no jokes in his "host" talking sections.

AND HIS CHORDS AREN'T EVEN CLEANLY FRETTED ALL THE TIME!!! He sounds like I did the first month after I bought my very first guitar. And he's just teaching the only progression he knows!!! WHAT IS THIS!?!? "A lot of songs are written in that progression." Yeah? You're the first person I've heard to use it. 

 This is pretty ridiculous.

"Melody chords"? I took several music theory courses in college and read several music theory books and I've never heard that term before in my life.

Edit: The third video was the most hilarious. He says "Called bottom 4-chords, used in rock. They're very difficult. Real hand busters. And they sound something like this." <absolutely no sound. Just buzzing and dead strings> "Yeah, they're really hard. So, some guitarists just play them like this." <plays each individually with lots of buzzing, misfretted notes, out of tune notes, and so on> "Yeah, I haven't mastered these yet." THEN WHY ARE YOU TEACHING?  Or, how he tries to show "chord melodies" and can't even play a single chord.


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## Sebastian (Aug 5, 2008)

"This is an electric guitar, a little bit different than acoustic"



The last video Rules 

Well.. as long as Larry is happy with his music  good for him


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## darbdavys (Aug 5, 2008)

oh, he's my hero  when i grow up, i wanna be just like him


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## heffergm (Aug 5, 2008)

W




T




F


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## noodleplugerine (Aug 5, 2008)

HAHAHAHAHAH!

WHAT A PRO


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## halsinden (Aug 5, 2008)

odd, isn't it? i really started it feeling that it was yet another joke that youtube comment-junkies were failing to get... then the fear starts to creep in that he may actually... be... serious.

i hope he's married. 

H


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## heffergm (Aug 5, 2008)




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## noodleplugerine (Aug 5, 2008)

Truly, truly, legendary.


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## mikernaut (Aug 5, 2008)

Holy crap I think he's drunk like when Orson Wells did the Paul Masson wine commercial.


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## Naren (Aug 5, 2008)

And, when he tries to sing, the long pauses between chord changes just get longer and longer. When he sucks THAT much, why did he bother to make these videos? And who went along with this?


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## yevetz (Aug 5, 2008)




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## jacksonplayer (Aug 5, 2008)

I think I see the Larry Conklin edition of "Guitar Hero" in the making. 

BTW, did anyone else think he was hitting on that interviewer chick in the last video? A real smoothie, that Larry...

Believe me, this is far from the worst thing I've ever seen come from local access cable channels. That's damning with faint praise, admittedly.

I can see Larry becoming a total cult figure, with that Wah Wah bar of his.


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## FortePenance (Aug 5, 2008)

is it just me, or did he play A minor barre chord on the 3rd fret?


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## Luan (Aug 5, 2008)

Shane is jealous


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## Stengah_2012 (Aug 5, 2008)

FortePenance said:


> is it just me, or did he play A minor barre chord on the 3rd fret?



You are correct sir. He also said he likes stainless steel strings because "they look so nice, and they shine up". Can't argue with that logic.


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## Lucky Seven (Aug 5, 2008)

Sorry Yngwie, I just found my new god.


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## noodleplugerine (Aug 5, 2008)

Lucky Seven said:


> Sorry Yngwie, I just found my new god.


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## jymellis (Aug 5, 2008)

wow he IS drunk! he cant even really finish a sentence. i like how he tells the interviewer this is a good song "killing me softly" it was sung by, um , um , well, um , it wasnt dionne warwick but a singer like her. WOW. and the wha-wha bar? oh and a good set of string, theres alot of manufacturers out there like , um , um , well, um , lots of manufacturers. COMEDY!!!!!


jym


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## 7stringfire (Aug 5, 2008)

I think I just sHitted my pants

Guy is a genius! 










(p.s. somebody sell me a seven damnit!)


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## stuz719 (Aug 5, 2008)

Like watching a hiatus hernia being operated on - you're so glad it's not you on the operating table and yet it holds such a strange fascination you just can't tear your gaze away.

This guy makes me sound like Paul Gilbert.

Larry Conklin is deemed true.


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## CapenCyber (Aug 5, 2008)

Oh god, he also has some "hot licks" lessons up there too, this one is the absolute best though. 

In this video Larry unleashes his "dirty channel" and plays a mind-blowing solo!





Some choice youtube comments:

Larry has really demystified the guitar for me.
-Steve Vai 

He is as unbelievable live as he is on TV. His blatant disregard for traditional parameters such as pitch, rhythm & tempo are matched only by his sense of melodic continuity, making each selection sound uncannily like the next.


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## Sebastian (Aug 5, 2008)

HOLY SHIT !!!! while playing in the dirty channel...
He plays "Freezing Moon" by Mayhem !!!.. the intro...
Just listen..


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## Groff (Aug 5, 2008)

I want a 'Wah wah' bar!


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## ilyti (Aug 5, 2008)

I kinda feel bad for him. He seems like a nice guy, just really... stupid. On the other hand, I guess that's what's keeping him from knowing he sucks so there's no need to feel bad for him.
And he likes Eric Clapton, what a surprise.


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## Ancestor (Aug 5, 2008)

Hmm... :|


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## ashflower (Aug 5, 2008)

Jesus H. Christ, he's amazing.

This is something I would expect from Tim and Eric's Awesome Show.

No one has mentioned yet, the incredible sex appeal and magnetism of that interviewer lady.


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## Tiger (Aug 5, 2008)

The last video seems like an SNL sketch with the interview lady.


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## Randy (Aug 5, 2008)

Sebastian said:


> HOLY SHIT !!!! while playing in the dirty channel...
> He plays "Freezing Moon" by Mayhem !!!.. the intro...
> Just listen..





Dude, you're totally right.


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## jacksonplayer (Aug 5, 2008)

ashflower said:


> No one has mentioned yet, the incredible sex appeal and magnetism of that interviewer lady.



Not to mention, she really likes the "dirty channel".


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## kung_fu (Aug 5, 2008)

Watching that third vid, I couldn't help but think his guitar teacher was sitting at home with his fingers crossed saying "Don't say my name, don't say my name".

That fourth vid looks like they televised an awkward as all hell first date


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## YYZ2112 (Aug 5, 2008)

"Just bend that thing and let it ring out. That's how they do it"

You gotta love local access TV.


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## Zak1233 (Aug 5, 2008)

omg  wish i had a wahwah bar and i just figured out the reason why im never in tune thanks to that amazing man, cos i dont have a fucking piano :0 shitttt


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## MikeH (Aug 5, 2008)

Sebastian said:


> HOLY SHIT !!!! while playing in the dirty channel...
> He plays "Freezing Moon" by Mayhem !!!.. the intro...
> Just listen..




Well they're definately on the same talent plane.


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## Stephen (Aug 5, 2008)

hahahaha

You know whats sad though, i actually know someone like him hahaha


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## Demeyes (Aug 5, 2008)

Wow, I can't believe he did that with so much confidence. I really like when he tries to solo. Goes for the big pose, can't really bend though!! How do you manage to kid yourself like that? I mean he only seems to have 1 chord progression, and he can't even play that.


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## TomAwesome (Aug 5, 2008)

Wowee!! Amazing! So what the hell is this "bottom 4" chord we rock musicians use? At first I thought he meant a power chord or something, but I have no idea what he was trying to do. At first I thought he was someone who had just started playing a month or so prior, but in that last interview video he said he had been playing since 6th grade! For 25 years! These videos are great, though. They're quiet and awkward in a way that makes me think of Adult Swim, and those interviews look like they're straight off of the Tim and Eric Awesome Show, like ashflower said. The interviewer's reaction shots when he just keeps playing are fantastic! I think at one point she just starts thumbing through some papers.  Watching him try to do bends was funny, too. I don't know what he was doing! He looked like he was putting some effort into it, but the pitch barely moved on his first bend and didn't move at all on his second attempt. I wonder how much money he has been paying this "excellent teacher" who has been teaching him "advanved rhythm and lead".

Awesome find, Shane. Through Larry, you have inspired us all to new heights!

I do feel a little bad ragging on this guy who is just trying to enjoy doing something he likes, but holy shitballs.


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## auxioluck (Aug 5, 2008)




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## MikeH (Aug 5, 2008)

Wow. No flaming of my previous post yet. I'm surprised.


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## Stealthdjentstic (Aug 5, 2008)

I think hes epic


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## Randy (Aug 5, 2008)

Ibz_rg said:


> Well they're definately on the same talent plane.





Ibz_rg said:


> Wow. No flaming of my previous post yet. I'm surprised.



They totally suck. No surprise there.


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## MikeH (Aug 5, 2008)

Hahahaha. I figured I'd have black metal fans down my throat. Oh well. Mayhem sucks.


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## Xaios (Aug 5, 2008)

Anyone have any idea what the hell kinda guitar he's using?? Yech!

I do also feel kinda bad thinking badly about the guy, cause he clearly enjoys guitar, and he seems so personable, like a big man-child or something, but MAN he needs to L2P.

Also, he has quite an intriguing (read LOL!) definition of a triad.


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## CapenCyber (Aug 5, 2008)

Ibz_rg said:


> Hahahaha. I figured I'd have black metal fans down my throat. Oh well. Mayhem sucks.




Well you like BFMV so it's not like your opinion is to be trusted.

Mayhem is awesome!


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## Zepp88 (Aug 5, 2008)

Of course I can't watch the vids 


But, to make things a bit stranger....

Larry Conklin


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## Xaios (Aug 5, 2008)

Zepp88 said:


> Of course I can't watch the vids
> 
> 
> But, to make things a bit stranger....
> ...



THIS JUST RAISES MORE QUESTIONS!!!


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## DevinShidaker (Aug 5, 2008)

Naren said:


> And he made it look so professional, almost like he's John Petrucci.
> 
> 
> > Wait...this guy isn't Petrucci? I could have sworn that was a custom JP he was playing on......


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## TomAwesome (Aug 5, 2008)

Actually, before I clicked play on any of those videos, at a glance that guitar reminded me a bit of one of those redburst OLP JP models.


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## DevinShidaker (Aug 5, 2008)

and I don't know how to qute people apparently. 

I fail miserably.


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## TomAwesome (Aug 5, 2008)

envenomedcky said:


> and I don't know how to qute people apparently.
> 
> I fail miserably.



You're just missing a / on that last tag.


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## DevinShidaker (Aug 5, 2008)

thank you


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## TheHandOfStone (Aug 5, 2008)

Those videos actually made me a little sad, especially the part where he flirts with the host then butchers the ballad to her disgust.


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## ohio_eric (Aug 5, 2008)

I really need that Sandra Bernhard looking interviewer lady asking "Can you demonstrate the dirty channel?" on a loop. I almost wet myself laughing at that. 

Is it just me or does it look like he has duct tape all over his wah wah bar?

I wonder if that guitar is his signature model?

I hope Kevan gets him for Jemfest X. That would be epic.


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## shaneroo (Aug 5, 2008)

wow, now he's really getting down and dirty!


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## TheHandOfStone (Aug 5, 2008)

Heh, the one later on actually made me chuckle a bit. Well, at least the part about cranking the reverb when playing outdoors, or how the only description was that reverb makes it "sound better." 

EDIT: The host isn't too keen at times. See the above post: "...I've heard of a style called 'hot licks'."  She might just be worse off than her guest.


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## Jongpil Yun (Aug 5, 2008)

Did he say on-off switch for the pickups?


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## chaztrip (Aug 5, 2008)




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## DevinShidaker (Aug 5, 2008)

Shane thank you so much for posting these videos. soooo awkward.


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## Stengah_2012 (Aug 5, 2008)

Advanced rhythm and lead lessons my fat pasty ass.


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## Zepp88 (Aug 5, 2008)

Xaios said:


> THIS JUST RAISES MORE QUESTIONS!!!



It's clearly not the same dude, but what are the fucking odds?


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## Naren (Aug 5, 2008)

TheHandOfStone said:


> Heh, the one later on actually made me chuckle a bit. Well, at least the part about cranking the reverb when playing outdoors, or how the only description was that reverb makes it "sound better."
> 
> EDIT: The host isn't too keen at times. See the above post: "...I've heard of a style called 'hot licks'."  She might just be worse off than her guest.



I thought that was pretty hilarious too, because he basically just cranks up the reverb really high and doesn't change it at all, then says, "Reverb makes it sound better."

That video was the funniest, because the interviewer lady almost sarcastically says, "You seem to have a mastery over the instrument." and instead of being honest and saying something like "Well, I still have so much more to learn," he says, "Oh yes, I've taken advanced lead and rhythm guitar lessons." And when he says he's been playing since 6th grade, for 25 years... I have to hope he was lying. To only learn 3 chords in 25 years and not learn to fret them properly or change between them without pausing for long periods of time... wow.

And normally, if you were on some TV show, whether local access or regular TV, you wouldn't boast about playing at churches and the Ground Round, but I had to think he must have been lying when he said that, because I don't think even the nicest churches would let him play up in front of people and the Ground Round would definitely not let him play without hearing him first and that would have guaranteed he wouldn't be playing. And was he inferring that he had actually played music with other people before?!

Is his teacher as incompetant as him?! 

[action=Naren]cannot feel sorry for him because he is parading himself around on TV as a master of the guitar, as if he is in a position where he can teach others.[/action]

This does however remind me of something that has become a running joke in my band. I posted about this a while back, but we were trying out "lead" guitarists and this dude said in his e-mail that he'd been playing for 11 years (I think it was 11) and had been turning down offers to turn pro. And he named all these expensive shredder guitars he owned. And he acted like he was one of the most technically skilled guitarists in the world. When he came to the audition/practice, he couldn't play any of our songs, he couldn't tune his guitar right, tried to play simple guitar riffs (but played them so blatantly wrong that someone with zero knowledge of music could tell him he sucked), and his solos were tuneless keyless buzzy misfretted garbles of nonsense. We discussed after he left that he might be mentally unstable and have serious psychological issues. Maybe Larry Conklin is the same...  I seriously thought that guy (who we refer to as "ude purupuru" off of the stupid excuse he gave for not being able to play our songs) was the worst guitarist I had ever seen, but Larry Conklin probably beats him in that area.


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## Aaron (Aug 6, 2008)

I just got off of a 12 hour shift and was very pissed off until i sat down and wathched these videos, i laughed so fucking hard, i feel good now!


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## MikeH (Aug 6, 2008)

CapenCyber said:


> Well you like BFMV so it's not like your opinion is to be trusted.
> 
> Mayhem is awesome!



Good god. Here we go.


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## Naren (Aug 6, 2008)

Ibz_rg said:


> Good god. Here we go.



Hey, let him have his opinion and you can have yours.

Personally I think both Mayhem and BFMV totally suck.


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## Desecrated (Aug 6, 2008)

Naren said:


> Hey, let him have his opinion and you can have yours.
> 
> Personally I think both Mayhem and BFMV totally suck.



+1


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## CapenCyber (Aug 6, 2008)

I'm not looking to get into a debate, this forum is really brilliant for it's array of music tastes and people not slagging each other off over them.


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## Sebastian (Aug 6, 2008)

Lets leave Mayhem.. or BFMV alone.. its all about Larry now


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## st2012 (Aug 6, 2008)

"It's like...2 or 3 short notes. And that's called a Hot Lick"


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## Lankles (Aug 7, 2008)

Larry 'Shredmachine' Conklin said:


> I like to play the barre chords as much as I can, because they give you such a pretty sound.


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## CaptainD00M (Aug 7, 2008)

My ears are bleeding...

Seriously that didnt even sound like killing me softly... i dont like that song and i know who wrote it... it was Fox and Gamble... at least he could havce said who covered it, the vertion that people know...

I love how he gets into it... oh well we shouldnt rag too much, i mean in like 20 years time he may be freaking awsome... if he stops talking about it and starts playing more...


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## Naren (Aug 7, 2008)

CaptainD00M said:


> I love how he gets into it... oh well we shouldnt rag too much, i mean in like 20 years time he may be freaking awsome... if he stops talking about it and starts playing more...



Considering that he said he's been playing for 25 years, since he was in 6th grade, I highly doubt he'll be even remotely better in 30 years from now.


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## Lankles (Aug 7, 2008)

He's 37 there? He looks 50!

...


Unless he was in 6th grade age 25. Hmmm ...


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## Kevan (Aug 7, 2008)

Xaios said:


> Anyone have any idea what the hell kinda guitar he's using?? Yech!


*This will scare the shit out of you guys: Stevie Ray Vaughn had the same model guitar!!!*

No, no, no...I'm not talkin' about SRV's badass Hamilton or his rides from Robin (Hey Dave!).

I believe the guitar in question is made by Harmony and was sold via Sears.
You can see the same model in a couple of SRV videos:


(It's the one she keeps ripping out of his hands and smashing during the...ahem...striptease.

......and.......


(My personal favorite SRV tune. The Harmony can be seen at the very end of the video, laying in the 'river').

"_Jeez Kev. How do you know all this?_"
When I was building my first guitar, the only thing I had to play on was a craptastic Harmony...exactly like the one in SRV's vids.


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## Petef2007 (Aug 7, 2008)

I wonder if Kirk Hammett heard of the wah wah bar n was all "ZOMG DO WANT"

And that pause between chords? He's fooled you all, they aint pauses, its just time readjusting itself n catching up to teh lightning speed \m/ \m/


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## SlipknotKoRnfan (Aug 7, 2008)

All my life, I've been trying to figure out melody chords, hot licks, and that oh so dreadful string bend. The i realized ive been playing the wrong way the whole time. these videos really helped put me on the right track! thanks Shane!


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## jacksonplayer (Aug 7, 2008)

Petef2007 said:


> I wonder if Kirk Hammett heard of the wah wah bar n was all "ZOMG DO WANT"





I think what he really wants is a wah-wah circuit wired directly to his brain...


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## forelander (Aug 7, 2008)

I like when he was counting "1,2,3,4" and the numbers had absolutely no correlation to the timing of what he was playing. Then he'd pause counting for a while and the chords would catch up to his counting then he'd pause everything, change chords, and start it all over again. 

He's a polyrhythmic genius, really.


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## nocturnous (Aug 7, 2008)

lulz


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## All_¥our_Bass (Aug 7, 2008)

> He is as unbelievable live as he is on TV. His blatant disregard for traditional parameters such as pitch, rhythm & tempo are matched only by his sense of melodic continuity, making each selection sound uncannily like the next.


 
 I'm using this for future sig material!!


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## El Caco (Aug 7, 2008)

Wow you guys found my Instructional videos. I'm glad you like them and it's great to see that some people found them usefull. You might of noticed how I take a pause between chords and try to sing a little flat, yeah I know it's hard to notice but it is a technique I use to make beginners feel more comfortable, as you know it can be hard and discouraging when your starting out a really difficult instrument and like my teacher before me I play badly on purpose to make beginners feel like they are playing well. My teacher never played well not even once and as a result it has helped me to continue playing and singing for 25 years, I plan on doing the same and hopefully it will help encourage others.

Oh and about the dirty channel, I love the dirty channel, it's so powerful. And doesn't it get the girls going, I could tell you a few stories, like that girl that was interviewing me, after I showed her my dirty channel she wanted me so bad, but I don't go for those easy, sexy, loose type like her that show way too much neck. I mean wear a scarf please 

Anyway I can waffle on at times, thanks Shane for sharing my vids, don't you play in a band yourself, Ka&#1071;&#1071;ot or something like that isn't it, it's good to see you starting out with simple stuff like that, keep up the practice and one day you will be playing hot licks just like me.


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## shaneroo (Aug 8, 2008)

god i want to meet this guy and pick his brain...... LOL


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## Scootman1911 (Aug 8, 2008)

Hahah man those videos made my day. His bends were so bad. He gets all into them and it barely changed pitch.

Thank you Shane.


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## shaneroo (Aug 16, 2008)

can't remember if someone posted this or not...... but check out him playing elvira! 
(however you spell it)
it's amazing!


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## daybean (Aug 16, 2008)

you cant tell him anything!!! hes so sweet and doesnt know he doesnt know what he is talking about. he would cry so much, and nobody wants a fat crybaby guitar teacher who cant teach you shit about how to suck at stuff.


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## Vision (Aug 24, 2008)

Those interviews reminded me of this:


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## HotRodded7321 (Aug 24, 2008)

Holy crap....this guy is a fucking gem. Almost like that retard cooking show Merrill Howard Kalin does, hahahahahaha!


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## Rick (Aug 24, 2008)

Wow, blast from the past!


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## ohio_eric (Aug 24, 2008)

I still want Larry at Jemfest next year.


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## El Caco (Aug 24, 2008)

Vision said:


> Those interviews reminded me of this:




+rep


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## ashflower (Sep 6, 2008)

Larry Conklin gives advice on dating.


YouTube - Guitarist Larry Conklin Gives Advice on Dating - Part I
YouTube - Guitarist Larry Conklin Gives Advice on Dating - Part II
YouTube - Guitarist Larry Conklin Gives Advice on Dating - Part III

Worst case scenario.
He uses your name 3 times.
Shakes your hand.
Pulls you in for a hug.
Lets go of the hug, but not your hand...
ALL WHILE LOOKING INTO YOUR EYES

You're effed in the aye.


Edited for tag problems.. I dont know how to embed videos.


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## ohio_eric (Sep 6, 2008)

Larry is not only the Supreme Shredder of the Universe but also the Mack Daddy of the Universe.


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## ashflower (Sep 6, 2008)

Thanks.. I think these vids were just added a few days ago. Everyone must see them.


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## ohio_eric (Sep 6, 2008)

FYI all you need to do to post Youtube videos here is just copy and paste the url into your message.


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## guitarjitsumaster (Sep 7, 2008)

I think this guy is just a crazy bat like my aunt-in-law who thinks she is the formost expert on every subject known to man. Doesnt matter what subject you bring up even if its stinkin quantumn mechanics, she'll go off about how she helped solved the mystery of black body radiation. Just count yourself lucky that she doesnt have her own cable access show.


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## Naren (Sep 7, 2008)

Wow. That guy is crazy. I thought he was just deluding himself with the guitar videos, but the romance/dating advice videos were even more insane. I kept thinking "HAVE you ever been on a date?" and "Waste of time? What about the time you wasted on pretending to play guitar or making these shows?"

The guy most likely has a serious psychological issue.


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## shredfreak (Sep 7, 2008)

guitarjitsumaster said:


> I think this guy is just a crazy bat like my aunt-in-law who thinks she is the formost expert on every subject known to man. Doesnt matter what subject you bring up even if its stinkin quantumn mechanics, she'll go off about how she helped solved the mystery of black body radiation. Just count yourself lucky that she doesnt have her own cable access show.


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## El Caco (Sep 7, 2008)

Only in America


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## MorbidTravis (Sep 7, 2008)

has anyone told him he isnt that good?


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## neon_black88 (Sep 7, 2008)

woops


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## winterlover (Sep 8, 2008)

holy shit! listen to his chair creak when he moves. 

the last video....fail, it's like he wants to reassure everyone how much of a musician he is.
what a douche


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## Aaron (Sep 8, 2008)

I love these videos


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## Leuchty (Sep 8, 2008)

HAHAHAHAHA, This lightened up my day! He makes it look mighty professional.


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## gunshow86de (Dec 23, 2008)

This is old, but I just discovered this today!! 

I wanted to make sure nobody missed this true talent.

I need to go practice my "hot licks" and "chord melodies."

Will my phrasing ever be as nice as his?


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## Randy (Dec 23, 2008)

_heh-heh-heh_

_...dirty channel..._


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## hufschmid (Dec 23, 2008)




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## Guitarast (Dec 23, 2008)

Steve Vai, John Petrucci...? No!!!! Larry is the best!!!


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## gunshow86de (Dec 23, 2008)

Guitarast said:


> Steve Vai, John Petrucci...? No!!!! Larry is the best!!!



Oh yes,

By the way didn't I just sell you my RG1527? Shipping to Russia is so easy lol!


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## 7 Strings of Hate (Dec 23, 2008)

i forgot about this guy


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## Harry (Dec 23, 2008)

Those videos are endlessly entertaining


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## DrakkarTyrannis (Dec 23, 2008)

I don't know if anyone else noticed this, but for me the funniest thing is the fact that his guitar is basically a tit holder. His titty is laying all over his guitar


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## Desi (Dec 23, 2008)

He says he's proficient in Rock, Blues and Jazz...JAZZ!?!? Anyone curious as to what his rendition of Jazz might sound like?


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## gunshow86de (Dec 23, 2008)

Desi said:


> He says he's proficient in Rock, Blues and Jazz...JAZZ!?!? Anyone curious as to what his rendition of Jazz might sound like?



Didn't you hear his "chord melodies"? He is clearly very knowledgeable in theory, I mean he plays Elvira like it's nothing!


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## Harry (Dec 23, 2008)

Desi said:


> He says he's proficient in Rock, Blues and Jazz...JAZZ!?!? Anyone curious as to what his rendition of Jazz might sound like?



Probably like a fart in the middle of the ocean at best


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## Stitch (Dec 23, 2008)

New internet meme, please.


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## shaneroo (Dec 23, 2008)

Larry's back!!


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## Guitarast (Dec 27, 2008)

gunshow86de said:


> Oh yes,
> 
> By the way didn't I just sell you my RG1527? Shipping to Russia is so easy lol!


It was difficult, but we have made it. 

Larry plays the difficult syncopated chord phrases in 19/16. He is the greatest jazzman! I wish to play like him, but it is impossible to me. Probably we will see Larri in the following G4 2009. Satriani.... Petrucci.... Vai..... and........ Larry!!!! Three guitarists and one Guitar God!!!!!!


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## vampiregenocide (Dec 27, 2008)

I taught him everything he knows


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## Splitprsonality (Dec 28, 2008)

I can't watch any more than 2 vids... his skills are too much.

and yet I feel bad making fun of him, even if he deserves it.


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## TheHandOfStone (Dec 28, 2008)

vampiregenocide said:


> I taught him everything he knows



About guitars or dating?

...OR WAS IT BOTH?!? 









Hey, I've got it! His secret is vagueness!


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## FlyingBanana (Dec 30, 2008)

I have to admit. 

That.

Was.

Epic.

Phail.


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## noodleplugerine (Jan 3, 2009)

Thanks to Larry my love life is kicking in! Cheers Larry. You're a star!


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## CC323 (Jan 3, 2009)

Naren said:


> "Melody chords"? I took several music theory courses in college and read several music theory books and I've never heard that term before in my life.



You've never heard that before? Harmonizing a melody with close voiced chord inversion, using the inversion that's closest to the melody note in the soprano voice and then changing the note to fit the melody? Joe Pass? And you took music theory in college?


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## DaveCarter (Jan 3, 2009)

Im familiar with that method (14 years music theory), but Larry seems to have mastered the technique on a level far superior to mine


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## TonalArchitect (Jan 3, 2009)

CC323 said:


> You've never heard that before? Harmonizing a melody with close voiced chord inversion, using the inversion that's closest to the melody note in the soprano voice and then changing the note to fit the melody? Joe Pass? And you took music theory in college?



Nah, I've only heard of harmonization and chord melody, which you're talking about, I think, but've never heard of 'melody chords'

I'm guessing that Ol' Larry here meant something like chord melody, but flipped the grammatical order, and that's unacceptable. 

 

I guess our beef is that he seems to be accidentally creating his own terminology, and out of (albeit slightly) mis-naming an approach.


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## Dusty201087 (Jan 14, 2009)

This is great. I love the bit where "Barre chords come after you've mastered your major and minor chords." And the fact that he got that book "years ago" is priceless. Maybe a few weeks ago would've been a better choice of words


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## CrushingAnvil (Jan 15, 2009)

Shredding like a trve batio.


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## Krauthammer (Jan 15, 2009)

This has to be one the most classic moments in guitar teaching today. We should all be so lucky to have Larry's lessons. Just think, in a few years, maybe I can do that!


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## Naren (Jan 15, 2009)

CC323 said:


> You've never heard that before? Harmonizing a melody with close voiced chord inversion, using the inversion that's closest to the melody note in the soprano voice and then changing the note to fit the melody? Joe Pass? And you took music theory in college?



 I'm not sure if you're joking or serious, but there's a difference between "chord melody" and "melody chords" (the latter being a term that Larry just made up).

If there _IS_ such a thing as "melody chords," I can assure you that it's not something commonly known in music theory.

... and not another term for "barre chords" or "major chords" (or whatever he was called "melody chords" - I don't remember).


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## forelander (Jan 15, 2009)

Naren said:


> I'm not sure if you're joking or serious, but there's a difference between "chord melody" and "melody chords" (the former being a term that Larry just made up).



Judging by the rest of the post, I assume you mean "latter."


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## Naren (Jan 15, 2009)

forelander said:


> Judging by the rest of the post, I assume you mean "latter."



Woops. Should have re-read through my post. Let me edit that.


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## punisher911 (Jan 15, 2009)

Yep, watching these here at lunch time. I think I peed a little.... Funny, funny shit right there.and you know, he rocks for his family at holidays. They all sit around and say, "Hey Larry, play something for us. PLEASE."


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## TheSixthWheel (Jan 15, 2009)

Ok, I'm a little late on this one, but this is just incredible. I am so overwhelmed that someone can go to all that trouble filming and explaining stuff which is in no way factual or even remotely correct. 
I'm all for ignoring criticism from a performer's perspective, but when the performance is this butchered, it's hard to see where he's getting the encouragement. How can the lady in his 'hot licks' videos be so naive? Maybe she gets it, but she's just egging him on? Either way, I was in fits of laughter so my thanks must go to the OP for making me aware of the powerful musical cajolings of Larry Conklin.


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## shaneroo (Jun 30, 2009)

I've missed old Larry...... how bout we reflect a little on his work here...... again


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## distressed_romeo (Jun 30, 2009)

TheSixthWheel said:


> Ok, I'm a little late on this one, but this is just incredible. I am so overwhelmed that someone can go to all that trouble filming and explaining stuff which is in no way factual or even remotely correct.
> I'm all for ignoring criticism from a performer's perspective, but when the performance is this butchered, it's hard to see where he's getting the encouragement. How can the lady in his 'hot licks' videos be so naive? Maybe she gets it, but she's just egging him on? Either way, I was in fits of laughter so my thanks must go to the OP for making me aware of the powerful musical cajolings of Larry Conklin.



I don't know...that woman in the video looked pretty awkward at quite a few points...


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## ddtonfire (Jun 30, 2009)

Oh man, this guy reminds me of Kelly McKee!


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## RenegadeDave (Jun 30, 2009)

Sad, they took them all down.


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## distressed_romeo (Jun 30, 2009)

RenegadeDave said:


> Sad, they took them all down.





Ah Larry, we hardly knew ye...


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## punisher911 (Jun 30, 2009)

But the videos will always live on in our memories....

"The dirty channel".....


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## El Caco (Jun 30, 2009)

Enjoy the last one while it stays up, Looks like Larry doesn't want to be famous anymore. How will I learn to play guitar now  I may as well sell all my gear.


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## PlagueX1 (Jun 30, 2009)

How did I miss this


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## Koshchei (Jun 30, 2009)

What a stage presence he has, the way he pumps us all up during Elvira, and all that.

His songs are so innovative as well - he stumbled onto the philosopher's stone when he realized that the only thing that makes songs different is the words - change the words, and it's a whole new song!


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## vampiregenocide (Jun 30, 2009)

Michael Jackson may be gone, but at least we still have Larry Conklin.


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## Desi (Jun 30, 2009)

Seriously...
That Dude CAN'T be serious! Gotta hand it to him, though, he has some stone cold balls to be showing up on TV with those "skills".


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## kung_fu (Jun 30, 2009)

Love this old thread

It's his child-like ignorance of his lack of skills that i find so endearing. In his universe, he's king. NASA engineers are hard at work building a rocket to help us reach this universe, but 'ol Larry has a head start. By the time the team of astronauts arrives, Larry will be there waiting for them, ask them what took them so long and proceed to melt their faces with and endless barrage of his signature "hot licks". 


EDIT: just attempted to watch the lesson "Taken down by Lawrence W. Conklin". I'll bet the W either stands for "Wunderkind" or "Womanizer" (you can tell by the way he treats the hostess  )


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## Fred (Jun 30, 2009)

ddtonfire said:


> Oh man, this guy reminds me of Kelly McKee!



Oh man, just saw that and read the whole thread over at the PT forums, fucking absurd! There is no way in hell that guy can be for real.

(Power Tab Discussion Forum &bull; View topic - Kelly McKee)


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## distressed_romeo (Jun 30, 2009)

We have the new Andy Van Hatcher!


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## kung_fu (Jun 30, 2009)

That guy still pwns Alex Gregory


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## scottro202 (Jun 30, 2009)

go to post #9 in this thread. Ed Roman made a sig guitar for this guy   

http://acapella.harmony-central.com/showthread.php?t=2224340


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## kung_fu (Jun 30, 2009)




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