# Trying to Find People to Jam With (Incoming Rant)



## Vyn (Feb 18, 2018)

Bit of a background here - I've been writing my own stuff for years and have recently gotten into recording some of it. I haven't played in a live band for a few years now and I've developed that itch to play on stage again.

So recently at a local gig I got chatting to a few friends/friends of friends and the subject of playing and writing/gigging came up. I'd mentioned to them that I'd be interested in doing something and showed them some of the stuff I'd uploaded to SoundCloud. They dug the material and were keen on the idea of getting together to write more/improve on what the ideas I had so we all exchanged numbers and went from there.

Now I understand people have lives outside of gigs and music (Heck I study and hold down a full time job myself) but there's been absolutely crickets since. Every time I see them or others in the past out at a gig that I've spoken with the message is always "Yeah, we totally need to get around that for sure man!" but outside of that it's dead silence and no interest.

How have you dealt with non-committals?


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## MaxOfMetal (Feb 18, 2018)

You can't just wait on others, even if they're your buds. 

Start actively seeking band members. If your friends are serious this will light a fire under them to commit, if they're not serious you'll still have folks to play with. 

One thing I've noticed over the years, if you try to work with folks who aren't currently in an active project it can be like pulling teeth to get them to actually take the plunge into being active.


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## budda (Feb 18, 2018)

Skip the flakes and keep looking.


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## Vyn (Feb 18, 2018)

MaxOfMetal said:


> You can't just wait on others, even if they're your buds.
> 
> Start actively seeking band members. If your friends are serious this will light a fire under them to commit, if they're not serious you'll still have folks to play with.
> 
> One thing I've noticed over the years, if you try to work with folks who aren't currently in an active project it can be like pulling teeth to get them to actually take the plunge into being active.



Yeah, I've been sending a few reminder messages trying to poke them into something, maybe publicly advertising would work better. Worst comes to worst I'll rig up a few DI's, Getgood Drums and I'll solo it haha.



budda said:


> Skip the flakes and keep looking.



I think half the problem is continually encountering flakes which at the moment is just making me more and more pissed off. Everybody likes the idea but isn't willing to put in the time or effort required to get it off the ground.


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## budda (Feb 19, 2018)

Welcome to band life  it's a search.


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## bostjan (Feb 19, 2018)

Part of getting a specific outcome is asking a specific question.

Try: "Let's get together on Sunday at my place and let's jam at 2:00!" Maybe even send a link to a song to start out with as a seed. "Check out this song [insert soundcloud link]! I'd like to play around with that Sunday and see how it goes."

If they say "Sorry, I have plans Sunday," propose another day. If they say that they can't make it on that day either, but don't propose another time, take it as a firm no and look for someone else.

Then, next week, you can post a different thread about how people said they'd come but never showed up. I know how that goes, too. Musicians are flaky. Some are the flakiest flakes ever to brush anyone off. If you keep rolling on and looking, eventually, you find people who make commitments and keep them. I was in a gigging band that made decent money once, and we looked for a drummer for months and months. It was amazing how many drummers responded to ads that said "We play classic rock covers. We have gigs coming up. If you know how to play Mustang Sally and songs like that and you want to make a couple hundred bucks, call us." We got hundreds of calls. We got 50-60 drummers to tell us they'd show up to audition. About 10 ever actually made it face-to-face. We got set up with a great drummer who knew all of our covers and had great chops and didn't overplay, and he showed up to two rehearsals and one gig and then we, like, didn't see him again until well after I had to fire him over the phone (he missed a gig that he had said he'd do - we did already have a backup drummer ready in case he didn't show, though, since we got the impression he was blowing us off). This is par for the course, though. I was prepared. We went right back to auditioning and eventually got back into a quasi-stable situation with another drummer, until that went down a similar path...

You can approach this one of two ways - A) try to set up a permanent band with a permanent lineup of musicians who may or may not be interested in permanent association with your act, or B) try to set up one jam at a time, then, if things grow, set up one gig at a time, until you can confidently set up one tour at a time. It'll probably never get any better than a tour, to be honest. In my experience, touring with a bunch of people is a great opportunity to bond with them.  If you have a five piece and four people spend the tour bonding and joking around having fun, and one person is consciously or unconsciously left out, you'll come back from touring with a four piece anyway...

But I strongly recommend getting together at a set time and place to jam with these guys. Keep the ball on target and keep it out of your court as much as possible when setting this up, and if the ball is in someone else's court and they drop it and don't acknowledge, you just have to move on by default.


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## Soya (Feb 21, 2018)

People suck.


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## odibrom (Feb 21, 2018)

Just because on dives into the sea and doesn't find any pearl, does not mean that pearls don't exist, only that one is looking in the wrong place... This to say what everyone else has said before... I'll add to it a little more: HAVE FAITH in yourself, believe in your project, people will show up. However, keep it simple, so it can grow complex if you and the rest want to.

About 3 years ago I found a fellow bass player that was on the same frequency as I was, we messed a little and banded from there. Then we were to find a drummer, we're on the 3rd one, but it lasts for 2+ years now. We're a 3 piece band, doing it for the sake of doing it. Simple start = strong start. Simplicity may have different meanings, either on the music or on (composition and music expression) the social side (number of band members).

Last but not least, when on band rehearsals/play, lead things softly, let others show their opinions and respect those/them. Shared music is supposed to be joyful for every player, not just the guitar guy...


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## Vyn (Feb 21, 2018)

As an update to this, through pure luck on a local classifieds ad I've met up with a guitarist who's already got some stuff written as well and have been swapping recordings/tabs. Looking promising!


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## Bloody_Inferno (Feb 22, 2018)

Vyn said:


> As an update to this, through pure luck on a local classifieds ad I've met up with a guitarist who's already got some stuff written as well and have been swapping recordings/tabs. Looking promising!



It's a long road but that's a good start. 

I'm still trying to get a live band lineup for my solo material myself. It's taking a while but it'll be worth the wait. 

Where in AU you based?


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## Vyn (Feb 22, 2018)

Bloody_Inferno said:


> It's a long road but that's a good start.
> 
> I'm still trying to get a live band lineup for my solo material myself. It's taking a while but it'll be worth the wait.
> 
> Where in AU you based?



I'm based in Tasmania myself which is half the problem - incidentally the guitarist I've met up with isn't a local I think, he's come from Sydney.


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## Veldar (Feb 22, 2018)

Vyn said:


> I'm based in Tasmania myself which is half the problem - incidentally the guitarist I've met up with isn't a local I think, he's come from Sydney.



Dude, I do not envy being in Tassy, such a small area to grab musos from.

Not that I've ever done it but maybe fine some guys from Melbourne? I have no idea how long the trip between the two is though.


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## GunpointMetal (Feb 22, 2018)

I find that musicians are a lot harder to pin down when they think that music is already written. Most guys (even bass players, lol) want to be in on the creative process from the beginning. That's one of the biggest reasons my band hasn't been able to find another guitarist. People are interested until they find out we have 8-9 songs that we plan on playing and we gig often enough that none of us wants to completely scrap all of our old material and take six months to write a set's worth of new stuff with a new person.


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## Vyn (Feb 22, 2018)

Veldar said:


> Dude, I do not envy being in Tassy, such a small area to grab musos from.
> 
> Not that I've ever done it but maybe fine some guys from Melbourne? I have no idea how long the trip between the two is though.



Melbourne is an hour flight. Usually pretty cheap, have contemplated putting an ad out and flying over for rehearsals.



GunpointMetal said:


> I find that musicians are a lot harder to pin down when they think that music is already written. Most guys (even bass players, lol) want to be in on the creative process from the beginning. That's one of the biggest reasons my band hasn't been able to find another guitarist. People are interested until they find out we have 8-9 songs that we plan on playing and we gig often enough that none of us wants to completely scrap all of our old material and take six months to write a set's worth of new stuff with a new person.



I would have though it would be the opposite - Having material there as a new member means all that's required is learning the parts initially, then you can write some stuff.


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## GunpointMetal (Feb 22, 2018)

Vyn said:


> I would have though it would be the opposite - Having material there as a new member means all that's required is learning the parts initially, then you can write some stuff.


It's entirely possible I'm just an asshole and nobody wants to play with me. Or nobody actually wants to play music that mostly consists of atonal nonsense and ugly noises.


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## Vyn (Feb 22, 2018)

GunpointMetal said:


> Or nobody actually wants to play music that mostly consists of atonal nonsense and ugly noises.



I'm pretty sure this is why no-one was keen on a Nile-ish tech death band I tried doing a few years ago xD


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## mongey (Feb 22, 2018)

sometimes the idea of being in a band, is better than actually being in a band


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