# My girlfriend might be moving to another state...



## Tukaar (Apr 20, 2009)

I found out from her on Saturday that her family is wanting to move to Florida (We live in Indiana). This is everything she's ever DREAMED of. (She wants to go to college for marine biology) There's absolutely NOTHING here for her... Except me (In her words). 

I've known her since I was 10 and I've had a crush on her since I was 14. She dated one of my best friends and made some bad decisions afterwards that she REALLY regrets with another guy that she thought loved her. We FINALLY started dating about 7 months ago, and it has been GREAT. And now this.

I've told her that if she decides to leave, I can't stay with her, because I don't believe in long distance relationships.
What should I do?


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## Konfyouzd (Apr 20, 2009)

if you love her let her go... you never know what might happen in the future, man. i'm a firm believer that all things happen for a reason. and if she's going to be halfway across the country it's really not fair to either of you to hold each other down. that sort of thing is really difficult.


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## MFB (Apr 20, 2009)

I'd say stick with your current course of action, if you're against long distance relations then you're against long distance relations; no two ways about it.


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## supertruper1988 (Apr 20, 2009)

+1 ^


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## Tukaar (Apr 20, 2009)

She's not sure if she's going to yet.


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## Konfyouzd (Apr 20, 2009)

well if she doesn't go then it's all good. but if she does decide to leave then i think you should deal with the situation however you feel it'll work out best.


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## AK DRAGON (Apr 20, 2009)

I would let her know how you truely feel about her.
But you understand and support whatever decision that she decides to make.


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## stuh84 (Apr 20, 2009)

Aye, make sure she doesn't try and get out of what she wants to do to stay behind for you, because as romantic as it sounds for someone to give up their dreams for you, they'll end up eventually resenting you for it, even if they made the decision.

Its a hard situation to be in, not something I would like to deal with myself and my heart goes out to you


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## Konfyouzd (Apr 20, 2009)

^


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## Tukaar (Apr 20, 2009)

That sounds like a good idea, Jason. Thanks, guys.


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## Konfyouzd (Apr 20, 2009)

Tukaar said:


> That sounds like a good idea, Jason. Thanks, guys.



we've all been there man. or in a similar situation.


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## MFB (Apr 20, 2009)

Konfyouzd said:


> we've all been there man. or in a similar situation.



Speak for yourself


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## Konfyouzd (Apr 20, 2009)

whatever man.


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## Labrie (Apr 20, 2009)

I've been in a similar situation before (gf leaving for an extended period of time). We'd been together about 4 years I think at the time and she had a great opportunity to do some traveling that she's always dreamed of doing. Although I was upset she was leaving, I knew that if I laid the guilt trip on her and convinced her not to go, that she'd resent me forever. We eventually called it quits anyway after about 6 years but for different reasons but at least I won't be the guy she always remembers as being the one who held her back. We still mean a lot to each other and I think about her everyday, so who knows what the future holds.

I guess my point is, as hard as it might be to let go, you need to let her do what's best for her without making her feel guilty. If she wants something bad enough she's going to do it regardless. Good luck man!


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## troyguitar (Apr 20, 2009)

Long distance, especially at your age and your relationship's age, is pretty much impossible.


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## CrashRG (Apr 20, 2009)

best of luck with whatever the outcome is man, we (those of us who have been in the same situation) know it isnt easy. but be supportive of her plans, and be thankful for what you had while she was there. as everyone else has said, you never know what lies in the future.


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## MTech (Apr 20, 2009)

Not sure your age but if 18+ than why not move to Florida and get an apartment... much nicer weather.


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## damigu (Apr 21, 2009)

if you're over 18 and aren't currently enrolled in a university (forcing you to stay in one area), and you're truly certain she's the one, then i say move to florida to be with her.

that said, i used to work with a guy who moved to from philly to houston to stay with his girlfriend of under a year when she got a good job there. their relationship ended shortly after the move and he eventually met and married someone else in houston.


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## ADAMAKAGORE (Apr 21, 2009)

Want a real love story?

I couldn´t find a job in Portugal and my girlfriend was still in college so I moved out of the country to Prague 1 year ago. I cried, I broke some doors, I got totally affect (we had been dating for 3 years)...

I came to Prague and even though the girls are easy here I didn´t find any interest in them..I always thought about my girl...

This Christmas, she made me a surprise...She moved in with me to Prague.

So a little lesson for you:

Love is above everything else (did this sounded gay?Couldn´t care less)


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## synrgy (Apr 21, 2009)

Just enjoy it while it lasts, dude. That's all you can do. 

Cherish it while you've got it, and don't waste time dwelling on it after it when it's gone.


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## BurialWithin (Apr 21, 2009)

How old are you?? I mean if you're old enough to be in school like college or university and plan things together maybe that's an option?? Ay i've been in the same situation before and my heart goes out to you man. Good luck man it will all work out !!


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## HighGain510 (Apr 21, 2009)

Tukaar said:


> I've told her that if she decides to leave, I can't stay with her, because I don't believe in long distance relationships.
> What should I do?



I'd say you're young and that's probably the best thing you can do man. I've been in a long-distance relationship for over 2 years and we're close enough that we can drive 3 hours to see each other, but if I hadn't known her for 11 years I would have told myself to do otherwise.  Trust me, you'll find someone else and be much happier than trying to stay together from across the US.  You're doing the smart thing IMO, you haven't been dating for a terribly long time anyways (I know it might seem long, but keep in mind this is coming from someone who has dated the same girl for 7+ YEARS now) so it won't be a terrible break and you're heading into the college years which will definitely open you up to a wide pool of ladies.  Just roll with it and keep firm, if you're not happy with the long-distance setup it is best to cut the relationship here, IMO.


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## ibznorange (Apr 21, 2009)

Tukaar said:


> I found out from her on Saturday that her family is wanting to move to Florida (We live in Indiana). This is everything she's ever DREAMED of. (She wants to go to college for marine biology) There's absolutely NOTHING here for her... Except me (In her words).
> 
> I've known her since I was 10 and I've had a crush on her since I was 14. She dated one of my best friends and made some bad decisions afterwards that she REALLY regrets with another guy that she thought loved her. We FINALLY started dating about 7 months ago, and it has been GREAT. And now this.
> 
> ...



long distance is hard dude, and it doesnt always work. me and the girl had a year going, she moved a 26 hour drive across the US (from AZ to IL). finally, we broke up for a year. continued to see eachother "just as friends" *cough*bullshit*cough* cause, get this, we loved eachother, and after a year and a half, here we are, back together dude, and weve got almost 5 years under the belt now. 

Long distance shit sucks, but sometimes its worth it, even just for a short while, just for the challenge man. Growth comes easiest when lifes its hardest. 

either way, i wish you the best


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## JJ Rodriguez (Apr 21, 2009)

ADAMAKAGORE said:


> the girls are easy here



Is there lots of IT work in Prague?


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## errnestoo (Apr 21, 2009)

your only option is to put it in the butt.


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## AvantGuardian (Apr 21, 2009)

I had the reverse of your situation several years back. I had been dating a girl for about a year when a great opportunity came up for me in LA. I ended up moving and she stayed in Seattle since she was going to a good school and working at a good job. While I was in LA and we stayed close, but not doing the long-distance dating thing. After a couple of years, I ended up coming back to Seattle and we got back together. Its been about four years since I moved back and we're still going strong (and now living together).

Anyway, maybe my story can give you a little hope. Also though, if you're not tied down to Indiana, why not pack up and head off to Florida? Could be a fun adventure.


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## ibznorange (Apr 21, 2009)

AvantGuardian said:


> I had the reverse of your situation several years back. I had been dating a girl for about a year when a great opportunity came up for me in LA. I ended up moving and she stayed in Seattle since she was going to a good school and working at a good job. While I was in LA and we stayed close, but not doing the long-distance dating thing. After a couple of years, I ended up coming back to Seattle and we got back together. Its been about four years since I moved back and we're still going strong (and now living together).
> 
> Anyway, maybe my story can give you a little hope. Also though, if you're not tied down to Indiana, why not pack up and head off to Florida? Could be a fun adventure.



exactly. break up maybe, but keep in touch. sometimes distance isnt permanant


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## yellowv (Apr 21, 2009)

Just take the course in your first post. It sucks, but will work out in the end. Don't hold her back from what she wants to do in life. I broke up with my fiance' of 7 years a couple of months back. It was a similar situation. I live in Florida and she was basically down here from North Carolina to visit her sisters who lived here with her stepdad when we met. Well they moved back up to North Carolina and she decided to stay here with me. We were happy for a while, but I don't think she was never really happy totally, and I believe she ended up resenting me for keeping her away from her family and friends and the plans she had before we met. We ended up being totally miserable together until she finally left and moved back. Now I am sure we are both happier, but we wasted a hell of a long time finding out.


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## budda (Apr 21, 2009)

as someone who's been 7 hours away from their gf for 7 months of the year for 2 years, I say do whatever you feel is best.

Best of luck man - if you need a larf or a vent, ss.org is here


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