# What people think I do vs what I really do...



## ilyti (Aug 26, 2014)

I just made this for myself and my janitor friends. If you have a job you feel people need a better understanding of, please make one (or find one) and share it!








In case you missed the joke, most of what I do is look for the right key on my keyring... of about 25-30 keys. 

(I think I did the format of the meme slightly wrong but SO WUT)


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## TheStig1214 (Aug 26, 2014)

The last panel should be someone handing over a fat stack of cash to a flight school...


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## asher (Aug 26, 2014)




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## tacotiklah (Aug 26, 2014)

Also, I still see ignorance about this from time to time, so hopefully OP won't mind if I leave this here...


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## Alex Kenivel (Aug 26, 2014)

I think I'll leave this one alone.. But a funny read indeed.


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## TheStig1214 (Aug 26, 2014)

tacotiklah said:


> Also, I still see ignorance about this from time to time, so hopefully OP won't mind if I leave this here...



If you don't mind me asking, which way are you transgender? (I'm always curious about stuff like this, broadening knowledge and whatnot.)


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## tacotiklah (Aug 26, 2014)

Male to Female. 

Edit:
I try not to push stuff like this too hard anymore, but you'd be surprised at the number of us that there are. I made the decision to stay visible as a way to help others that are going through this, so every once in a while I'll make a post on the subject. It's the furthest thing from easy, but when someone tells me that I was able to help them, that makes it completely worth it.


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## Murdstone (Aug 26, 2014)




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## Grindspine (Aug 26, 2014)

I <3 my pet ratties.


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## MFB (Aug 26, 2014)

I've only played with my friends pet rats once but they were cool little fellas. I don't get why women get so worked up over them, the only ones I can't jive with are hairless rats.


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## iamnoah262 (Aug 27, 2014)

This thread is the best thing ever. I think "what my vet thinks I have" is my favorite bit yet, its so true!


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## kamello (Aug 27, 2014)

tacotiklah said:


> Male to Female.
> 
> Edit:
> I try not to push stuff like this too hard anymore, but you'd be surprised at the number of us that there are. I made the decision to stay visible as a way to help others that are going through this, so every once in a while I'll make a post on the subject. It's the furthest thing from easy, but when someone tells me that I was able to help them, that makes it completely worth it.



I love your empathy  



anyways 






I have a heart!, I swear


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## DocBach (Aug 27, 2014)

my old job


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## Grand Moff Tim (Aug 27, 2014)




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## Edika (Aug 27, 2014)

^The last frame is quite apt but I would have gone with training monkeys. Evolution in its finest!


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## Grand Moff Tim (Aug 27, 2014)

It's the last frame that made me choose it over the other results I found, hahaha.


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## VBCheeseGrater (Aug 27, 2014)

Software developer...what i really do....


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## Grindspine (Aug 27, 2014)

MFB said:


> I've only played with my friends pet rats once but they were cool little fellas. I don't get why women get so worked up over them, the only ones I can't jive with are hairless rats.


 
My girlfriend has a pet hairless rat. When I say, "I <3 my pet ratties," those are actually hers. Gotta love any animal that can be called a mischief when in a group.


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## chassless (Aug 28, 2014)

i absolutely love these! so i just cooked up one myself:


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## gfactor (Aug 28, 2014)

VBCheeseGrater said:


> Software developer...what i really do....



I can confirm this


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## MetalGravy (Aug 28, 2014)

Same here, until I started working at a company that blocks SSO


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## soliloquy (Aug 28, 2014)

although, i kinda like my job. i find it amusing to see the depths of stupidity that my customers are willing to dig down for.


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## chassless (Aug 29, 2014)

^ care to share some stories?


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## lelandbowman3 (Aug 29, 2014)

chassless said:


> ^ care to share some stories?



I've got one. I worked for DirecTV and an old lady had the lowest possible package, it was like 35 bucks a month and came with local channels and jesus channels. She liked the Jesus channels, but one day, she decided to call me up and bless me out because I (personally, because I control what she has to pay, obviously.) was charging her 35$ to watch televangelists. She told me that I had no right to charge her for those channels because they're not MY channels or DirecTV's channels, they're GOD'S channels, and he wants them to be free and yadayadayada. 
After explaining to her that they're not actually God's channels, they're privately owned by those broadcasting companies who charge US (DTV) a percentage to broadcast them every month, we have to bill her accordingly, in which she told me that she hoped WW III happened and the world ended so DTV would stop ripping off their customers.
I told her have a nice day, your bill is $34.78.


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## Cyntex (Aug 29, 2014)

soliloquy said:


> although, i kinda like my job. i find it amusing to see the depths of stupidity that my customers are willing to dig down for.



I also work in a callcenter doing "Technical Support" for a big ISP.

Very recognizable! And like you the job is terrible but funny at the same time.


EDIT:

I also support Digital Television (dtv) btw, so I wanted to share this story.

This lady called saying she could only watch yesterday's television. So I asked her maybe your are watching "Uitzending Gemist" (which literally translated means "Broadcast Missed") where you can watch episodes or broadcasts up to 10 days ago. She replied: 'No just yesterday's television and it's the same for every channel!' 

So I tell her that is not possible, then she interrupts me and says "even the date on the television shows it was yesterday; it says it's 18th July!"
And I'm like, Ma'am today IS the 18th..

Here comes the good part.. for about a minute long she actually tries to convince me that I am wrong and every channel is suddenly broadcasting re-runs  And then when she finally realised she just was mistaken in the date, she got really quiet and hung up the phone.


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## soliloquy (Aug 29, 2014)

chassless said:


> ^ care to share some stories?



i work for a bank. you'd expect people to call in regarding banking related stuff. surprisingly people call in to book flight tickets, order pizza, get some support for their TVs, or rid the world of poverty and corruption with that same phone call....

when our systems are down (which is often...sad really) we get higher than usual calls, thus our wait times are much longer than normal. often times customers wait in the cue for 30+ minutes just to yell at us about how long the cues are, but they actually dont need/want any services what so ever. they just call to say 'i've been a loyal customer for 90 years, i shouldn't have to wait! good bye assholes for wasting my time!'...right, we tell the customers to wait in line just to say that and hang up....

speaking of the loyalty thing. customers feel entitled to get free shit because according to this logic "i've been with your bank for the last 50 years, since i was a baby! i shouldn't pay for having a bank account that i'm using horribly! give that shit to me for free!" and i reply back by saying 'look lady, you go to same mcdonalnds for the last 30 years for your breakfast, lunch and dinner, you really expect them to give you a free burger? why expect the same from us?"

or if they want to 'sever their relationship with the bank and take their business elsewhere' i often tell em to go ahead, but keep in mind that in order for you to go to another bank, you'll have to pay higher fees (we are one of the lower fee banks), take a day or 2 off of work to sign paper work, transfer all funds from one bank to another bank, call each and every one of their automatic billers and have them switch their stuff to the new bank, then call all your automatic creditors and have them switch over too. call their bank to set up for online banking, get familiar with that bank, wait 10-15 days to get your credit cards etc...so yes, you can take that $1 of yours and take to another bank if you like"

or if they are trying to rub it in that they have been loyal to our bank just to get free shit, i often reverse it back and say 'and i appreciate your loyalty so much! keep at it!'

or customers refuse to answer security questions due to 'privacy breech' but have no problem discussing/screaming their social insurance number or their passwords or other personal information to strangers

or them getting mad at us for due to someone trying to use their card against their authorization almost as if they want to lose their money....

i also remember a customer calling in saying 'i dont know why paypal is withdrawing 1$ out of my account. i dont remember making any transactions. all i did was buy some tokens on farmville. is that what could have charged my account?' yes lady, thats what caused those charges. 'oh, how do i stop them?' stop playing those games. 'stop playing those games?! how does that work?!' i'm not your life coach, i am your financial advisor. 

i've also had customers call in saying they just cheated on their partner and they have shared accounts. how can we get rid of transactions on the account (hotel rooms etc) so it wont appear in the statements


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## ilyti (Aug 29, 2014)

Reading the call centre stories brings back some bad memories. I worked at a few. One was taking orders for pizza at a call centre. We got all the calls, then we'd send the work order to the closest store to the person. Anyway, I got one guy on my first day of work who seemed pleasant at first.. I asked him for his number, and whether it was for pickup or delivery.. and then a box pops up on my screen that says "unfortunately delivery is not availnable for your location, your address is outside the delivery zone." And the guy shouts "I can SEE the pizza place from my house! It's just around the corner!" And I'm like "Well that's what my computer is telling me." And he goes "Yeah? Well F_U_CK YOU!" and hangs up. It was unbelievable. Also, people with Indian accents always ordered the same kind of pizza: ground beef, hot peppers, and green olives. French people always ordered "Un ALL-DRESSED PEET-ZUH." 

I heard stories from other people who worked there longer than I did. One guy got nothing but Arnold Schwarzeneggar clips from one caller. "GET DOWN!" "WHO IS YOUR DADDY AND WHAT DOES HE DO?" I would have loved that if it happened to me. The same guy told me about how some stoner called in just wanting to buy 20 dipping sauces and no pizza.

I also worked as a survey interviewer for some time. One time I was really bored and started to practice my American South accent (Texas, or Florida, I dunno) and it allayed some of the boredom a bit. Then I got a guy who actually wanted to do the survey and I was on the call with him for 30 minutes. I was DYING and the other workers around me were laughing at me so hard. I got through it though and I don't think they suspected anything, and I never got in trouble.


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## Rev2010 (Aug 29, 2014)

Mocked this up really quick, would've liked some more whitty imagery but no time 







Rev.


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## TemjinStrife (Aug 29, 2014)

Rev2010 said:


> Mocked this up really quick, would've liked some more whitty imagery but no time
> 
> 
> 
> ...



As an attorney who also handles IT in a small office, this is pretty accurate


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## Rev2010 (Aug 29, 2014)

TemjinStrife said:


> As an attorney who also handles IT in a small office, this is pretty accurate



Heh, I wanted to do more with it, like instead "What the attornies think I do" put an image of a person sitting at their desk watching YouTube or using Facebook. Just don't have the time for image searching.  And for the last image I wanted to insert the Picard face palm image 


Rev.


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## TemjinStrife (Aug 29, 2014)

Rev2010 said:


> Heh, I wanted to do more with it, like instead "What the attornies think I do" put an image of a person sitting at their desk watching YouTube or using Facebook. Just don't have the time for image searching.  And for the last image I wanted to insert the Picard face palm image
> 
> 
> Rev.



Luckily my office is relatively young and pretty tech-savvy. I've heard (and dealt with) some real horror stories amongst (generally older) attorneys who are basically allergic to anything more complicated than a typewriter.


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## Deep Blue (Aug 29, 2014)

These aren't terribly inaccurate in my admittedly limited experience


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## Rev2010 (Aug 29, 2014)

TemjinStrife said:


> Luckily my office is relatively young and pretty tech-savvy. I've heard (and dealt with) some real horror stories amongst (generally older) attorneys who are basically allergic to anything more complicated than a typewriter.



I had a partner the other day have his secretary contact us saying the batteries in his mouse were dying. I told her she'll need to order replacement batteries from our firm's supplies system. Time goes by, she emails back with "AA or AAA?". I respond back saying I don't know for sure, but most wireless mice we give out are AA, but she can order both sets to be safe or just open the mouse to check. Time goes on and she emails back saying he'd like me to stop by. I go by and he tells me he thinks he needs new batteries and I look over and he's using a wired mouse. <sigh>


Rev.


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## Necris (Aug 29, 2014)

IT sounds like a job spawned in one of the lower rungs of hell.


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## asher (Aug 30, 2014)

If GIS "What I actually do" wasn't dealing with plotters it would be waiting 20 minutes to load a file only to then find it crashed.

(I hate working with GIS)


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## Deep Blue (Aug 30, 2014)

What's really terrible is trying to work with aerial imagery layers over Citrix. Compression artifacts everywhere


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## Alex Kenivel (Aug 30, 2014)

Caved.


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## ZeroTolerance94 (Aug 30, 2014)

Seriously 

When I'm not shooting a topographic survey, or watching my boss calc a property boundary in the truck... I'm swinging a hammer. People have no idea the work in hammering over 1000 18" long rebar into limerock for staking out piling, or hammering a 1/2" x 18" blunt pipe into coral rock at a boundary corner. 

Think about what's in the corners of your property... is it overgrown and full of insects and arachnids? More than likely... I have to trek into that bullshit to hammer a pipe into the ground, then make sure that pipe is within 0.005' horizontally of where it's supposed to be. 

On another note: I found this video pretty funny 

[YOUTUBEVID]LoAF5sLn-Ys[/YOUTUBEVID]


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## Grindspine (Aug 30, 2014)

For the geologist thing, it reminds me of my anthropology student days. Since so many classes I took had to deal with archaeology, I got used to hearing some certain things. Those things were along the lines of, "What do you call a group of archaeologists?"

"Drunk."


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## chopeth (Aug 31, 2014)




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## crg123 (Aug 31, 2014)

asher said:


> Arcitects



Hahha beat me to it!


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## ilyti (Aug 31, 2014)

I just made this one to explain some things:







- There are no penguins in the arctic.
- Yes there is alcoholism.
- It's not a frozen desolate wasteland unless you're alone out on the land. Then you're screwed.
- Hiking and outdoor activities are flippin' sweet.
- Dumb hoes. You have a choice: hunt for nutritious seal meat, or buy potato chips and vodka. Inuit who eat traditional foods like seal and fish and whale blubber ("SAVE THE WHAAALES!" - Hippies) have waaaay fewer physical and emotional problems, so more power to them.
- Food is essspensive. And expired. That picture is from a protest that happened at the grocery store here in Iqaluit. I was going to take pictures of expired cilantro and bananas but google image search did something better for me, lol.

I had another idea, but I didn't put it in there: What business people think of the Arctic: "Earn a years wage in 3 months? HOW CAN I LOSE??"


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