# Fast Five is... actually pretty decent!



## Xaios (May 2, 2011)

There must be some kind of abstract scale regarding the absurdity of movies. You've got movies that are bad, movies that are so bad they're great, movies that are too bad to be so bad they're great... and now this. I don't even know what to call it. This movie is both utterly terrible and utterly amazing at the same time. It's just so chalk full of nonsense, over the top performances, one dimensional and mass destruction. And yet, it's somehow struck upon this transcendent quality, somehow the mix of the previous elements is just so correct that would could and should have been a disaster morphed into something absolutely awesome! I guess it's not the ingredients that make the bread, it's how you bake them. And I can honestly say, this series now finally has an entry that is fully cooked, not half-baked.

This movie, like many of the movie franchises in time (probably the most recent example is Harry Potter) assumes you're walking in with full working knowledge of every other movie in the series (except the third one, because somehow that movie is still the last one story-wise). No lead up, no explanation, just BAM, and you're in it.

It brings back characters from pretty much every previous movie, and the chemistry really works. Plus, it has Dwayne Johnson, AKA The Rock, AKA the guy from the "Race To Witch Mountain" meme. It's good to see him back in action movies again, although I do have to say that one this movie does waste is his absolutely massive charisma. His character is thoroughly unlikable as the no-nonsense DSS agent who has "never lost his man." Of course we all know how that story ends, so spoiler tags are unnecessary. 

Everyone else is in fine form as well. Ludacris and Tyrese riff off each other nicely, as do a couple brazillians. Vin Diesel and The Rock are also good foils for each other, and I actually thought their fight scene was really well done, it was well choreographed and had a truly visceral quality.

This really isn't a spoiler as it doesn't really give you any indication of the plot, but I'll throw it in anyway.


Spoiler



At one point, they put a pipe bomb into the plumbing system of a building so that it would "back up." I can tell you with absolute sincerety, just the images of the aftermath made me physically nauseated.



The movie features some truly over the top action, and to their credit, apparently they used very little CGI over the course of the movie, and it shows. In the second movie (without a doubt the worst movie in the series in every regard), everything looked just beyond fake, but here, it just flat out looks real, mainly because it actually is most of the time.

The final scene of the movie is just a hoot. It's BEYOND insane, but it's so much fun, you can't help but enjoy yourself. Every other movie in this series I've enjoyed purely because of its guilty pleasure quality, if at all. For the first time though, I can say that the series now boasts a legitimately GOOD movie. Do yourself a favor and see it. Even if your brain oozes it your ears, it's worth it.


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## JeffFromMtl (May 2, 2011)

I honestly don't believe anyone who hasn't seen the first four movies would even bother going to see this, so I don't think being thrown right into the plot would be a major issue. I'm definitely going to see Fast Five, and it's not because I thought the first four were spectacular cinema . There's still a number of factors that would compel me to buy a ticket for this one: the novelty, the fact that the others were staples in my childhood to teen years (although I'd agree, the second installment legitimately sucked ), and the sheer ridiculous entertainment value.


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## CooleyJr (May 2, 2011)

The only one I didn't like was Tokyo Drift..


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## Xaios (May 2, 2011)

As far as I've noticed, the franchise is at its best when it moves away from the street racing culture themes. No coincidence, I imagine.

Something strange I've noticed in the series is that, while it glorifies american muscle and japanese tuners, it tends to treat the european exotic car scene with disdain. I wonder why that is.


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## gunshow86de (May 2, 2011)

Just tell me Luda is in this one and I'm there.

_5 fast, 5 furious, I'm too fast for yall mayne!"_


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## CooleyJr (May 2, 2011)

gunshow86de said:


> Just tell me Luda is in this one and I'm there.
> 
> _5 fast, 5 furious, I'm too fast for yall mayne!"_


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## pink freud (May 2, 2011)

Xaios said:


> As far as I've noticed, the franchise is at its best when it moves away from the street racing culture themes. No coincidence, I imagine.
> 
> Something strange I've noticed in the series is that, while it glorifies american muscle and japanese tuners, it tends to treat the european exotic car scene with disdain. I wonder why that is.



$$$ envy.

The target audience is composed of people who like car stuff and will never have the expendable income to buy anything better than a 370Z. A big part of the culture is "why spend money on making my car fast when I can spend money on making it _look_ fast?" That's a direct quote from a guy I knew who was into that sort of thing.


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## Scar Symmetry (May 2, 2011)

I've heard that it's really good actually


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## glassmoon0fo (May 2, 2011)

saw it in an IMAX theater yesterday, left the show wanting to punch my way through the crowd and hotwire a schoolbus for the getaway . it was WAY over the top in the beginning, but if you can look past a few "that was some bullshit" moments and just enjoy the action, its super enjoyable. 8.5/10.


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## wannabguitarist (May 2, 2011)

Do they bring back the Eclipse that upshifts like 7 times in a drag race with a 5-speed? 

I have a love/hate relationship with these movies. I hate almost every aspect of the import turner/ricer scene but at the same time I love watching car chases and shit getting blown up


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## Daiephir (May 2, 2011)

wannabguitarist said:


> Do they bring back the Eclipse that upshifts like 7 times in a drag race with a 5-speed?




You mean, thats not POSSIBLE in real life? 
I'm gonna need to go see it since I'm a huge fanboy of the series/Walker's concentrated extended lower lip face/muscle-man Diesel


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## Daemoniac (May 2, 2011)

Saw this last week. It is indeed amazing, assuming you don't care about physics and are not interested in watching a movie with a sense of reason and reality 

It was truly, truly enjoyable in the most banal, atrocious way


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## Xaios (May 2, 2011)

Daiephir said:


> Walker's concentrated extended lower lip face



Haha, no kidding. Robert Pattinson has basically made a career copying Paul Walker's mannerisms, from the smouldering eyes gazing into the soul, to the despondant "looking into nothing" expression of mournful indifference.


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## DVRP (May 2, 2011)

CooleyJr said:


> The only one I didn't like was Tokyo Drift..



But it had hawt asians


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## CooleyJr (May 2, 2011)

DVRP said:


> But it had hawt asians



So does the internet.


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## Xaios (May 2, 2011)

CooleyJr said:


> So does the internet.



Yeah, but it's the whole forbidden fruit angle. Tokyo Drift had hot asians that WEREN'T ass naked taking a manstick up the pooper, so it makes them seem hotter by comparison.


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## Opeth666 (May 2, 2011)

hope you guys stayed for that little surprise after the credits


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## -42- (May 2, 2011)

pink freud said:


> $$$ envy.
> 
> The target audience is composed of people who like car stuff and will never have the expendable income to buy anything better than a *Toyota Camry*. A big part of the culture is "why spend money on making my car fast when I can spend money on making it _look_ fast?" That's a direct quote from a guy I knew who was into that sort of thing.



FTFY


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## asmegin_slayer (May 3, 2011)

Saw it at the imax, was it worth it? Sure.

My three favorite from the franchise are:
Original Fast and Furious
Fast Five
Tokyo Drift 



Opeth666 said:


> hope you guys stayed for that little surprise after the credits



I did, wasn't expecting that at all.


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## mountainjam (May 3, 2011)

i actually wanna see this flick. no shame in saying that.


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## wannabguitarist (May 3, 2011)

Daiephir said:


> You mean, thats not POSSIBLE in real life?
> I'm gonna need to go see it since I'm a huge fanboy of the series/Walker's concentrated extended lower lip face/muscle-man Diesel



Only if you for some reason need to downshift while drag racing. Like to engine brake so you're Kragen's/Autozone special park bench spoiler doesn't come off at 75mph


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## Daiephir (May 3, 2011)

wannabguitarist said:


> Only if you for some reason need to downshift while drag racing. Like to engine brake so you're Kragen's/Autozone special park bench spoiler doesn't come off at 75mph



Plywood Aero parts FTW  Like when the Top Gear guys tried to make a Renault Avantime go faster than a Evo around their track, Clarkson put a wooden lip in the front for added downforce


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## GazPots (May 3, 2011)

And it caught fire.


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## wannabguitarist (May 3, 2011)

GazPots said:


> And it caught fire.



What caused the floor to explode and fall off again? Manifold problems? (I've watch this movie drunk way to many times )


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## FarBeyondMetal (Jun 29, 2011)

Actually quite a good flick...I stayed after the credits and I am curious about the next one already (you knew that would happen)


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## GazPots (Aug 27, 2011)

What exactly was the plot of Tokyo Drift?


Guy gets sent to Tokyo, pisses a dude off and drifts about for the rest of the film? I barely remember the plot (if there was one )




Also , i just watched Fast Five and it was damn fun. The Rock is a badass.  He lost awesome points for crushing the quite frankly orgasmic matt black 1969 Charger into a wall. Douchebag.


I loved the fact they DESTROYED the bus at the start to help Dom escape the law. If that was real life, everyone on the bus would be in chunks plastered all over the place with lots of smouldering piles of burnt convict for good measure.



Completely ridiculous and i loved it.


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## Nick1 (Oct 5, 2011)

Opeth666 said:


> hope you guys stayed for that little surprise after the credits



I was totally surprised by the bonus scene after the credits. Cant wait for that one to hit the screen. Rumor is 2013.


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