# Hilarious Military Jokes



## Blind Theory (Jul 29, 2011)

Here are a few of my favorites (Some are lengthy):
-Bush and Powell are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Powell?" The barman says, "Yep, that's them." So the guy walks over and says, "Hello, what are you guys doing?" And Bush says, "We're planning World War 3" And the guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?" And Bush says, "Well, we're going to kill 10 million Afghans and one bicycle repairman." And the guy exclaimed, "Why are you gonna kill a bicycle repairman?!!!" So Bush turns to Powell and says, "See, I told you no one would worry about the 10 million Afghans!"

-Three college buddies were commissioned in three branches of the service--Army, Navy, and Air Force--where they made their careers.

Although they maintained their friendship through the years, they argued long, bitterly, and inconclusively as to which service was the best

They years wore on, and the three were called to their Heavenly rest,...where they continued the dispute.

One day, they encountered Saint Peter, who asked what all the fuss was about. The three officers explained their argument and appealed to St. Peter to tell them once and for all which of their branches was the best.

Saint Peter reflected and admitted the question had never come up before. He agreed, however, to ask God and to get the definitive word.

Some time later, the officers again ran into Saint Peter and eagerly asked if he had received a reply from the Lord. Just then, a snow-white dove, carrying a note in its beak, landed on Peter's shoulder. Saint Peter took the note, unfolded it, and read it to the three officers:

Gentlemen:

Your squabbling and arguing are unseemly and futile. All three of your branches were equally brave, noble, and honorable. You all served your nation with devotion and courage. Take pride in that service, and forget your petty rivalries.

Sincerely,

God (USMC, Ret.)

-USMC Rules For Gunfighting 
1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one. 
2. Decide to be aggressive ENOUGH, quickly ENOUGH. 
3. Have a plan. 
4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won't work. 
5. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet. 
6. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not start with a "4." 
7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive. 
8. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral and diagonal movement are preferred.) 
9. Use cover or concealment as much as possible. 
10. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours. 
11. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose. 
12. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived. 
13. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating or reloading. 
14. Someday someone may kill you with your own gun, but they should have to beat you to death with it because it is empty. 
15. And above all ... don't drop your guard.

Navy Rules For Gunfighting 
1. Go to Sea 
2. Drink Coffee 
3. Send the Marines

Army Rules For Gun fighting 
1. Select a new beret to wear 
2. Sew combat patch on right shoulder 
3. Reconsider the color of beret you decide to wear 
4. Send the Marines

US Air Force Rules For Gunfighting 
1. Have a cocktail 
2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner 
3. Determine "what is a gunfight" 
4. Send the Marines 

-MARINE RETIREMENT PROTOCOL ...

...Retirement Pay

The Marines found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus of $1000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The officer got to choose what those two points would be.

The first officer who accepted, asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.

The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000.

The third one was a grizzly old Captain who, when asked where he would like to be measured, replied, "From the tip of my penis to my testicles." It was suggested by the pension man that he may want to reconsider, explaining about the nice checks the previous two officers had received. But the old Captain insisted and they decided to go along with him, providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer.

The medical officer arrived and instructed the Captain to drop'em, which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Captain's penis and began to work back. "My God! he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your testicles?"

The Captain calmly replied, "Vietnam."

-A large group of Iraqi soldiers are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a sand dune. "One United States Marine is better than ten Iraqis!" The Iraqi commander quickly sends 10 of his best soldiers over the dune, whereupon a gun battle breaks and continues for a few minutes, then silence.

The voice then calls out "One United States Marine is better than one hundred Iraqis!" Furious, the Iraqi commander sends his next best 100 troops over the dune and instantly a huge firefight commences.

After 10 minutes of battle, again silence.

The American voice calls out again "One United States Marine is better than one thousand Iraqis!"

The enraged Iraqi Commander musters one thousand fighters and sends them across the dune. Cannons, rockets and machine guns ring out as a huge battle is fought. Then silence.

Eventually one wounded Iraqi fighter crawls back over the dune and with his dying words tells his commander, "Don't send any more men, it's a trap. There's two of them!"

-An Air Force Officer goes to heaven and at the gate St Peter asks him if he has ever done anything in his life that he believes makes him worthy of admittance to heaven.

The officer flyboy replies," Yes, I once went into a bar with four of my pilot friends and saw two MARINES harassing a young girl at the bar, so being a gentleman I went up to the biggest one and told him to leave this young lady alone. When he refused I told him again more forcefully. This time I slapped him across the face and told this MARINE to stand down."

St Peter said this was a very good thing to do and asked when the pilot did this great act.

The pilot replied, "About 5 minutes ago! My friends should be here shortly!"




So post 'em if you got 'em!


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## Grand Moff Tim (Jul 29, 2011)

Blind Theory said:


> Navy Rules For Gunfighting
> 1. Go to Sea
> 2. Drink Coffee
> 3.* Send the Marines*


 
Of course the Navy sends the Marines. The USMC is part of the Department of the Navy. Marines _love_ hearing that.

What do you call a woman in the Air Force?

A Cockpit.

AMIRITE, FELLAS?


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## Grand Moff Tim (Jul 29, 2011)

A sailor in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, ''Wanna hear a MARINE joke?'' 

The guy next to him replies, ''Well, before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs, and I'm a MARINE. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2'' tall, weighs 225, and he's a MARINE. The fella next to him is 6'5'' tall, weighs 250, and he's also a MARINE. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?''

The sailor says, ''Nah, I don't want to have to explain it three times.''


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## Chickenhawk (Jul 29, 2011)

Here's a Marine joke for ya, Blind Theory:

A friend of mine, who's son is serving in a dangerous part of the world, sent this to me. I imagine it is not true, but it appealed to me:

"If you don't know GOD, don't make stupid remarks!!!!!!

A United States Marine was attending some college courses between assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan . One of the courses had a professor who was an avowed atheist, and a member of the ACLU.

One day the professor shocked the class when he came in. He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, GOD if you are real then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 min.' The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, 'Here I am GOD, I'm still waiting.'

It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine got out of his chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him; knocking him off the platform. The professor was out cold.

The Marine went back to his seat and sat there, silently.

The other students were shocked and stunned, and sat there looking on in silence. The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the Marine and asked, 'What in the world is the matter with you? 'Why did you do that?'

The Marine calmly replied, 'GOD was too busy today protecting America 's soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid stuff and act like an idiot.. So He sent me.'

The classroom erupted in cheers!"

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--------

Guy walks into a bar

Bartender "What'll it be, fella?"
Guy "Gimme a Bin Laden."
Bartender "What the fuck is a Bin Laden?"
Guy "Two shots and a splash of water."


And finally:


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## Chickenhawk (Jul 29, 2011)

As a group of soldiers stood in formation at an Army Base, the Drill Sergeant said, "All right! All you idiots fall out."

As the rest of the squad wandered away, one soldier remained at attention.

The Drill Instructor walked over until he was eye-to-eye with him, and then raised a single eyebrow. The soldier smiled and said, "Sure was a lot of them, huh?"


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A variation of my favorite Military joke ever.


There was a Soldier, and a Sailor at the same bar drinking. The soldier goes into the restroom to pee. Just before he walks out the sailor walks in.

The sailor notices that the soldier didn't wash his hands. The sailor then asks the soldier, "Didn't they teach you to wash your hands in the Army?"

The soldier replies, "No, they taught me not to pee on my hands."



The original version was a Marine First Sergeant and an Army First Sergeant standing outside a latrine. The Marine sent his guys in, single file to use the facilities. As they came out, every one of them had washed their hands. The Marine nudges the Army 1SGT and says.

"See that, I've taught every one of them to wash their hands."

The Army 1SGT raises his eyebrow, takes a sip of coffee and says:

"Hell, I taught my guys not to piss on their hands."


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## Blind Theory (Jul 29, 2011)

-An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass. 

The CO says "Are you crazy? You just join the Israeli army, and you already want a 3-day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!" 

So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank! 

The CO was so impressed, he asked "How did you do it?" 

"Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the border with the Arabs. I approached the border, and saw an Arab tank. I put my white flag up, the Arab tank put his white flag up. I said to the Arab soldier, "Do you want to get a three-day pass? So we exchanged tanks!" 

-The Marines were backing-up LAPD on a call that someone had broken into a store.

At the scene, the cop told the Marines to "cover" him as he approched the store (to police, "cover" means to point your weapons in the direction of the threat, to Marines it means lay down a base of fire!).

The Marines promptly laid down a base of fire. The Marines fired 178 rounds before they stopped shooting.

The thief, probably a little scared at this point, called 911 and reported, "They're shooting at me!".


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## Grand Moff Tim (Jul 29, 2011)

So, these four 4 stars from each branch of service are having a discussion on which one of their branches have the most balls. It gets heated and there's no real way to prove it so the Army general finally says, "Come with me guys, I'll show you something."

So, they head over to the nearest army base and the General finds the first soldier he runs accross. He says, "Soldier, I want you to take your rifle and shoot yourself dead!!" 
The soldier sounds off, "YES SIR!" He pulls the rifle to his head and fires!
The general says, "THAT takes balls."

The Air Force general says, "That's nothing, lets go." They head to the nearest AF base where the General finds the first pilot he can and says,"Captain, I want you to fly your jet into that mountain range and burn yourself alive!" The pilot sounds off, "YES SIR!" and does so without thinking. He dies a fiery death. 
The general, "No, THAT takes balls."

The Marine Corp General, not to be outdone, says, "Come with me boys, I've got you beat"
So, they head over to the nearest marine corp base and the General finds the first marine he runs accross. He says, "MARINE, I want you to lie down under that tank and let it CRUSH YOU feet first!" 
The marine sounds off, "YES SIR!" He lays under the tank, it crushes him dead. 
The General, "Now THAT takes balls, assholes!"

They all looked at the Navy Admiral. 
Without pause he says, "You guys need to see this."
They stepped aboard the USS Kitty Hawk and the Admiral looks up and finds a sailor working aloft over 100 ft in the air. 
He yells up, "SAILOR! I want you to jump down and kill yourself!"
Without hesitation the sailor calls back, "GO FUCK YOURSELF!" 
The Admiral says, "Now THAT takes balls, boys."


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## ddtonfire (Jul 29, 2011)

Grand Moff Tim said:


> Of course the Navy sends the Marines. The USMC is the Men's Department of the Navy. Sailors _love_ hearing that.



FTFY


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## highlordmugfug (Jul 29, 2011)

The war in Iraq.


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## Chickenhawk (Jul 29, 2011)

highlordmugfug said:


> The war in Iraq.


 

 You're lucky this Operation Iraqi Freedom vet likes you. Or else I'd have to unleash my internet fury.


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## Grand Moff Tim (Jul 29, 2011)

ddtonfire said:


> FTFY


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## Grand Moff Tim (Jul 29, 2011)

Man, interservice ribbing never gets old . It's one of the perks of serving, I think. It's like having thousands of new brothers that I can make fun of, but fight for should the need arise.

For what it's worth, when a Marine buddy of mine once told me "Dude, you'd have made a good Marine," it took it as one of the biggest compliments I'd ever received.


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## Blind Theory (Jul 29, 2011)

The inter-service rivalries are half the fun. Because the guys in the Marine Corps know that their branch is the best just like the guys from the Army think theirs is and so on and so forth.


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## Chickenhawk (Jul 29, 2011)

Blind Theory said:


> The inter-service rivalries are half the fun. Because the guys in the Marine Corps know that their branch is the best just like the guys from the Army think theirs is and so on and so forth.


 
Marines KNOW they're the best?

Well, you go ahead and launch a full scale assult and occupation of a foriegn country without the logistical assests of the other services, and tell me how that goes. 

Better yet, how about a special ops insertion and extraction of the worlds most high-value target *coughOBLcoughcough* (pay attention to the REAL story behind that in a few years...I promise the SEAL/s are going to admit to something)

I'm fairly certain the Army could do anything the Marines think they're the best at.

Gotta remember who patches up a Marine that got shot. It's sure as hell not going to be another Marine. 


Note for those who don't know: The Marine Corps has zero medics. Their medics are actually Corpsmen (Medics) from the Navy. 

The Marines don't have the best fighter pilots, the Navy has that.
The Marines don't have the best logistics branch, that's a coop between the other three.
The Marines don't have the best Special Operations Forces, the Army has that.
The Marines don't have the best cargo plane pilots (or any, I don't think), the Air Force has that.

All the Marines have are the best dress uniforms...and stupid haircuts, and an idol named Chesty Puller. He was a badass mofo, with a stupid ass name 


EDIT TO BE FAIR:

Put a Marine Infantry platoon against an Army Infantry Platoon, with forced marches under 20 miles to the target, I'd put my money on the jarheads. 

Same situation, but extend the distance to 200 miles, and allow each platoon one support platoon from their own service (transportation, logistics, ammunition, engineer...stuff like that..no other combat arms besides the one platoon of infantry), and my money goes to the Army, hands down.

The Marines kick ass...
The Marines are utterly useless by themselves


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## Blind Theory (Jul 29, 2011)

Chickenhawk said:


> Marines KNOW they're the best?
> 
> Well, you go ahead and launch a full scale assult and occupation of a foriegn country without the logistical assests of the other services, and tell me how that goes.
> 
> ...



Set the inter-service rivalry aside and let me be more clear. I SHOULD have said:
The Marine Corps KNOWS they are the best just like the Army KNOWS they are the best just like the Navy KNOWS they are the best just like the Air Force KNOWS they are the best. I was trying to make a point about how the inter-service rivalry works. 

...I knew I should have just written it all out


*EDIT* and in all fairness, every branch relies on the others in some aspect so even though it is fun to argue about it, it makes no sense. Marines don't fly, the Air Force aren't in charge of ships, etc, etc. And I can say that if I was in combat and was in need of help I'd have no problem saying the Air Force saved my ass with an air raid or something like that. It's like saying a pepperoni pizza's best aspect is the sauce. You still need the pepperoni's, cheese, and bread to make the whole thing work.


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## Chickenhawk (Jul 29, 2011)

Blind Theory said:


> Marines don't fly, .


 

Uh...

http://www.marines.mil/unit/aviation/Pages/default.aspx

...

I never set the inter-service rivalry aside...EVER! I almost died for the ability to talk shit on the lesser branches.

But, I can't really rag on you, since you're not a Marine yet. 

My last roommate was an Army vet. We had deployed within a year of each other, knew quite a few of the same people, and had worked with a lot of the same units (he was a Mechanic, my primary MOS was Ammo), and there was NEVER a second we didn't talk shit. It was even worse considering we are both serious alcoholics, and living off VA compensation and GI Bill money, so all we'd do is go to school, work a couple hours in the afternoon sometimes (a lot of car mantainance, since our garage was bigger than our house), then get absolutely shitfaced and start running our mouths.

Hell, when I meet other veterans, I shake their hand and ask what service...if they don't say Army my immediate response is "ooh, I'm sorry *sigh*".

I'm a dick, though.


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## Blind Theory (Jul 29, 2011)

Chickenhawk said:


> Uh...
> 
> http://www.marines.mil/unit/aviation/Pages/default.aspx
> 
> ...



I know that the Marine Corps has their own pilots but I am talking about the big picture. They aren't know for flight like the Air Force is or even the Navy with the Blue Angels. And I get the whole rivalry thing, once I go through boot and become a Marine I will, with out a doubt, talk some shit, I'm just not there yet.


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## anthonyfaso (Jul 29, 2011)

Chickenhawk said:


> The Marines are utterly useless by themselves



MARINE = My Ass Rides In Navy Equipment.


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## Blind Theory (Jul 29, 2011)

anthonyfaso said:


> MARINE = My Ass Rides In Navy Equipment.



Which only makes a shit ton of sense seeing as in the Marine Corps is a department of the Navy.

ANYWAY! Back on the original topic, here are some more JOKES:

-YOU MAY BE A TALIBAN IF....
You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.

You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.

You have more wives than teeth.

You wipe your butt with your bare left hand, but consider bacon 'unclean.'

You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.

You can't think of anyone you HAVEN'T declared Jihad against.

You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.

You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.

You've often uttered the phrase, 'I love what you've done with your cave.'

You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least one.

You bathe at least monthly whether necessary or not.

You've ever had a crush on your neighbor's goat.

-How do you know your date with the fighter pilot is half over? 
A. He says "but enough about me - wanna hear about my plane?"

-How do you know if there is a fighter pilot at your party?
A: He'll tell you.

-Seals vs. Green Beret

Two Seals boarded a quick shuttle flight out of Dallas, headed for Houston. One sat in the window seat, the other sat in the middle seat.

Just before take-off, A Green Beret got on and took the aisle seat next to the two Seals. The Green Beret kicked off his boots, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Seal in the window seat said,"I think I'll get up and get a coke."

"No problem," said the Green Beret, "I'll get it for you." While he was gone, the Seal picked up the Green Beret's boot and spit in it.

When the Green Beret returned with the coke, the other Seal said, "That looks good, I think I'll have one too."

Again, the Green Beret obligingly went to fetch it and while he was gone, the Seal picked up the other boot and spit in it.

The Green Beret returned and they all sat back and enjoyed the short flight to Houston.

As the plane was landing, the Green Beret slipped his feet into his boots and knew immediately what had happened.

"How long must this go on?" the Green Beret asked. "This fighting between our groups? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in boots and pissing in cokes?"


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## SirMyghin (Jul 30, 2011)

> You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.


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## GuitaristOfHell (Jul 31, 2011)

A.R.M.Y stands for Ain't Ready for Marines Yet


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## Grand Moff Tim (Aug 1, 2011)

So so far we've established that:

ARMY = Ain't Ready for Marines Yet
MARINE = My Ass Rides In Navy Equipment
NAVY = Never Again Volunteer Yourself

and... um...

AIR FORCE = Anal Intrusion Really Fills Our Rectal Cavities Eternally


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## MFB (Aug 1, 2011)

You could also swap "Eternally" for "Exquisitely!"


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## KingAenarion (Aug 1, 2011)

Chickenhawk said:


> Here's a Marine joke for ya, Blind Theory:
> 
> A friend of mine, who's son is serving in a dangerous part of the world, sent this to me. I imagine it is not true, but it appealed to me:
> 
> ...



Because God only protects American troops


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## Chickenhawk (Aug 1, 2011)

KingAenarion said:


> Because God only protects American troops


 

*sigh*

What're you trying to say? As if it wasn't already apparent.

Don't be coy, come on out and say what you're hinting at.


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## Sephael (Aug 1, 2011)

Cheney walks into the oval office one morning and says "Mr. President, last night 3 Brazilian soldiers died in Afghanistan."

Color drained from his face and Bush quickly took a seat, visibly shaken by the news. After a few moments he gathers his composure and asks the vice president, "Just exactly how many is a brazilian?"


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## Blind Theory (Aug 1, 2011)

KingAenarion said:


> Because God only protects American troops



You don't bring that bullshit into my thread. This is a thread about jokes not some place to project your ideas on religion or whatever. If you can't stand a JOKE because of the wording of it and the use of God in it then you shouldn't try and take it off topic just because of that. So once again, don't be an asshole and stop bringing that shit in my thread. 

ON TOPIC:
-On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field 
and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle.

One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?"
The tower responded, "Who is calling?"
The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?"
The tower replied "It makes a lot of difference.
If it is an American Airlines flight, it is 3 o'clock.
If it is an Air Force plane, it is 1500 hours.
If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells.
If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand
is on the 3.
If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it's Thursday afternoon and 120
minutes to "Happy Hour."

-The reason the Air Force, Army, Navy and Marines bicker amongst themselves is that they don't speak the same language. For instance, take the simple phrase "secure the building".

The Army will post guards around the place.
The Navy will turn out the lights and lock the doors.
The Marines will kill everybody inside and set up a headquarters
The Air Force will take out a 5 year lease with an option to buy.


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## KingAenarion (Aug 2, 2011)

Woah Woah Woah...

I wasn't being aggressive or negative or implying anything about the American military.

I have a lot of respect for the American Military. Seeing as they, you know, stopped our country from being invaded by the Japanese, and that our armed forces have fought in almost every major war alongside each other for a hundred years.

These jokes do crack me up.

I was JUST being a shit stirrer. The idea that if there is a God or gods that created humanity (whatever you believe) and that he/she/they would only protect one countries military is amusingly absurd to me. I will however admit to there being a slight political jab at how with certain elements of the Western establishment (not just America) this has been used to justify some actions and policies.


Now, I shall provide a joke to ease tension.

Two young Aussie soldiers, Timmy and Dazza have just been promoted from Private to sergeant.

To celebrate they decide to go out for a drink. As they're walking along trying to find a place they see the NCO bar on base. Timmy says to Dazza "Hey look Dazza, lets go get us a cold beer" 

Dazza, not being the brightest bloke, says "But we're privates!"
"NO, we's sergeants now, and I'm going to have a drink in THAT bar because I can" says Timmy, grabbing his shoulder laughing. 

"But, we're privates"

"Strewth (yea no Aussie actually say that but hey) Dazza, look at what it says on your uniform, look at ya' bloody stripes mate, we're sergeants now, with all the privileges that come with it" says Timmy, dragging Dazza into the bar.

So they sit down, order cold beers and pretty soon a hooker comes up to Timmy. 
"Hey gorgeous," she says, "I'd like to take you someplace nice and quiet and, well you know... but I've got gonorrhoea, just so you know." 

Timmy pulls his friend to the side and whispers, "Dazza, I forgot my phone, can you google gonorrhoea see what that means. If it's all good, give me the thumbs up." 

Dazza pulls out his phone, looks it up, and gives Timmy the thumbs up.

Three weeks later Timmy is in the infirmary with gonorrhoea, apparently one of the worst the doctor has seen.

"Dazza," he says, "For fucks sake, why didn't you tell me. Better yet why did you give me the thumbs up?" 

"Well... it said gonorrhea only affects the privates." 
Then he pointed to his stripes and says, "But we's Sergeants now!



Also...


"For those that don't know him, Major General Peter Cosgrove is an "Australian treasure!"
General Cosgrove was interviewed on the radio recently. You'll love his reply to the lady who interviewed him concerning guns and children.
Regardless of how you feel about gun laws you gotta love this! 
This is one of the best comeback lines of all time.
It is a portion of an ABC interview between a female broadcaster and General Cosgrove who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military
headquarters.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
So, General Cosgrove, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?

GENERAL COSGROVE:
We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery and shooting.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?

GENERAL COSGROVE:
I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?

GENERAL COSGROVE:
I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
But you're equipping them to become violent killers.

GENERAL COSGROVE:
Well, Ma'am, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?

The radio went silent and the interview ended."


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## Blind Theory (Aug 2, 2011)

KingAenarion said:


> Woah Woah Woah...
> 
> I wasn't being aggressive or negative or implying anything about the American military.
> 
> ...



That is what I am talking about. I never said anything about you not supporting the military, I am talking about the religious aspect of things. It is a joke. It was nothing more and there was no reason to go off topic just to state your opinion. I wouldn't care if it was about that but it wasn't. This is a thread for jokes relating to the military. Lets keep it that way. 


ON TOPIC:
-What happens when 100 sailors go underway on a sub?
50 couples come home.


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