# Guilt



## Your Majesty (Aug 21, 2006)

I am dealing with some pretty hardcore guilt lately and the only way I know best to deal with it, is to surpress it. I usually tend to suck it up and move on.

Some have said, talk about it and set yourself free .... I disagree. In this case, I rather suck it up, or be six feet under, then ever confessing any of this shit to anyone.

So how do you deal with guilt?


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## Leon (Aug 21, 2006)

two ways:

1) be honest about it to those involved, or
2) find the silver lining in not being honest about it.


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## nitelightboy (Aug 21, 2006)

Usually, I just sit and sulk until the next time I drink, then after a few months, everything builds up and I want to explode. Not exactly the best way to deal with it, but it's worked for me in the past.


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## Vince (Aug 21, 2006)

I don't feel guilt. I'm a man, goddamn it.

Men don't feel guilt. That's reserved for women, Cathollics, and pussies.


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## Drew (Aug 21, 2006)

I don't believe in guilt. I believe in responsibility. Do whatever it is you've gotta do, and live with the consequences. Don't apologize unless you really would undo your actions if you could, and even then don't say more than you mean, and remember that nothing you can say can undo your actions. I feel that's the only way an apology can mean anything. 

It's a lot like the Teddy Roosevelt, I believe quote on always doing whatver it is you said you'd do while drunk, while sober. 


EDIT - what the fuck does this have to do with Health, Lifestyle, Fitness, or Food? 
EDIT #2 - Maybe this would get better feedback here?


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## Vince (Aug 21, 2006)

Drew said:


> Don't apologize unless you really would undo your actions if you could, and even then...



...only in the process of begging for sex.


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## Scott (Aug 21, 2006)

"I felt guilty once, but she woke up halfway through!"


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## Mastodon (Aug 21, 2006)

You certainly have some interesting "mystery" threads Majesty.


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## Vince (Aug 21, 2006)

Drew said:


> EDIT #2 - Maybe this would get better feedback here?


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## Drew (Aug 21, 2006)

Scott said:


> "I felt guilty once, but she woke up halfway through!"



"My Momma's dead." 
"Oh... I guess that's why she didn't move around too much."


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## Scott (Aug 21, 2006)

Yeah, we're sensitive


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## Rick (Aug 21, 2006)

desertdweller said:


> I don't feel guilt. I'm a man, goddamn it.
> 
> Men don't feel guilt. That's reserved for women, Cathollics, and pussies.



What if you're a Catholic man?


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## Vince (Aug 21, 2006)

rg7420user said:


> What if you're a Catholic man?



Convert to islam, then blow yourself up for being such a pussy.


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## Donnie (Aug 21, 2006)

Shhh... listen...










That's the sound of this thread hopelessly spiralling out of control.


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## The Dark Wolf (Aug 21, 2006)

desertdweller said:


> Convert to islam, then blow yourself up for being such a pussy.





Reminds me of this weekend at my bud's house. His band was jamming, everyone was drunk, and someone comes up and says, "Hey, that chick is in the yard throwing up."

The (all male) response? "So what?" "Who gives a fuck." "Is she dead? No? Then what the fuck do I care?"

Yeah, guys aren't really built for sensitivity n' shit I think. 



Since she loves to throw these mysterious -ass threads out here, Aanyone care to hazard a guess as to what YM is guilty about? Girls usually seem to get guilty when they bang their friend's boyfriend. Not that I have any experience with that or anything.


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## rogue (Aug 21, 2006)

get wasted


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## Scott (Aug 21, 2006)

The Dark Wolf said:


> Since she loves to throw these mysterious -ass threads out here, Aanyone care to hazard a guess as to what YM is guilty about? Girls usually seem to get guilty when they bang their friend's boyfriend. Not that I have any experience with that or anything.



She feels gilty for not telling her hot friends that im moving to Ontario.


It's ok YM...I'll make you feel better.


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## The Dark Wolf (Aug 21, 2006)

Scott said:


> She feels gilty for not telling her hot friends that im moving to Ontario.
> 
> 
> It's ok YM...I'll make you feel better.


Oh, well. her hot friends' loss will be the Ontario transexual community's gain, I suppose.


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## Drew (Aug 21, 2006)

rg7420user said:


> What if you're a Catholic man?



A contradition of terms, foo. 

Alternately, Vince hit the nail pretty thoroughly on the proverbial head, I'd say...


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## Popsyche (Aug 22, 2006)

Some great responses here Yo' Maj!  

Dealing with guilt is a tough one. If the guilt is over an accidental occurance that you have no control over, vow to be more careful next time. If it was something within your control, and it can be fixed, fix it! If it's a matter of something that had to be done, and you did it, and are feeling guilty about it, wouldn't the consequesnces of not doing it be worse?

The main thing is not to beat yourself up about something that has happened in the past, that you can't do anything about. Feeling bad won't fix anything. Constantly asking yourself, "why did I do that!" won't change your situation one bit!  

Give yourself a little slack! We are all(for the most part here!) only human.


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## Your Majesty (Aug 22, 2006)

The Dark Wolf said:


> Since she loves to throw these mysterious -ass threads out here, Aanyone care to hazard a guess as to what YM is guilty about? Girls usually seem to get guilty when they bang their friend's boyfriend. Not that I have any experience with that or anything.



Sorry to burst your bublle...... but there is no mystery to speculate and even if there was, I wouldn't make any such confessions on a open board for everyone to read. Let's get real here? 

If you know me well at all, I am extremely selective in WHO I confess my secrets too. This place isn't one of them. I simply asked a question based on curiosity on how males deal with this emotion, being that women, deal with it entirely different.

Regardless, the topic at hand, merits the discussion on the dealings of guilt and how one deals with those emotions - thats the only reason why I asked the question.



Popsyche said:


> Some great responses here Yo' Maj!
> 
> Dealing with guilt is a tough one. If the guilt is over an accidental occurance that you have no control over, vow to be more careful next time. If it was something within your control, and it can be fixed, fix it! If it's a matter of something that had to be done, and you did it, and are feeling guilty about it, wouldn't the consequesnces of not doing it be worse?
> 
> ...



I knew I could depend on one intelligent response. Thank you. I will take my direct response to this with you off the board, as your points merit further discussion, but I will say this.... you had mentioned doing something because you had do and then feeling guilty... that would be the normal. However, in this case, I have done something that after much thought I don't have any guilt and perhap I should.... ??? 

We'll talk soon and thank you.


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## JPMDan (Aug 22, 2006)

TDW = pwned


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## Popsyche (Aug 22, 2006)




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## nitelightboy (Aug 22, 2006)

Brown noser


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## The Dark Wolf (Aug 22, 2006)

JPMDan said:


> TDW = pwned


Bah. You ever see me bring anything even remotely personal on here? Or make these mysterious ass threads?

Nope.

If you're going to post shit like that, expect people to ask what the fuck it's about. But do I really give a shit?




Nope.



I'd rather speculate on the source. Methinks the lady doth protest too much.


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## Your Majesty (Aug 22, 2006)

I can post whatever I want babe....and in the end, you don't need to reply.


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## The Dark Wolf (Aug 22, 2006)

Your Majesty said:


> I can post whatever I want babe....and in the end, you don't need to reply.


Babe? Hey, if you're gonna be a part of this forum, be prepared to be ribbed like the rest of us. On an open forum, anyone can reply, remember that. It shows we care. 




Babe.


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## Your Majesty (Aug 22, 2006)

The Dark Wolf said:


> Hey, if you're gonna be a part of this forum, be prepared to be ribbed like the rest of us.
> 
> Babe.



 Oh, I have gotten my sharing of....what is the term you used, "ribbed"? Yes...... you males have the art mastered in ribbing this one chick. Babe.  ...and thank you for caring  awhhhh....


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## The Dark Wolf (Aug 22, 2006)

Your Majesty said:


> Oh, I have gotten my sharing of....what is the term you used, "ribbed"? Yes...... you males have the art mastered in ribbing this one chick. Babe.  ...and thank you for caring  awhhhh....


See? And in my Zen-like, Godly wisdom, you see how to deal with guilt and stupid shit like that. Which just weighs you down.


Humor. 


Instead of addressing the issue directly, I make light of it, and try to get you to laugh, or get pissed off, whatever. It all works. And suddenly, your mind is off bullshit, 'cause you're too busy either laughing with or cursing at me.


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## nitelightboy (Aug 22, 2006)

And doesn't most Zen style wisdom teach humility??


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## Your Majesty (Aug 22, 2006)

The Dark Wolf said:


> See? And in my Zen-like, Godly wisdom, you see how to deal with guilt and stupid shit like that. Which just weighs you down.
> 
> 
> Humor.
> ...



Well it worked and thank you for making me laugh.  Props to you. But I would rather have you make me laugh, then have me be pissed at you. I rather think you're a cool dude, then a total, arrogant son of a bitch.


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## The Dark Wolf (Aug 22, 2006)

nitelightboy said:


> And doesn't most Zen style wisdom teach humility??


I'm working on that one. And doing splendidly, as usual, BTW.


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## nitelightboy (Aug 22, 2006)

The Dark Wolf said:


> I'm working on that one. And doing splendidly, as usual, BTW.




It shows.


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## The Dark Wolf (Aug 22, 2006)

Your Majesty said:


> I rather think you're a cool dude, then a total, arrogant son of a bitch.


That depends on which personality is in control that day. Or moment. GAH!!!


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## nitelightboy (Aug 22, 2006)

Yeah, right now it's the Literate Madman...that's a scary one!


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## Drew (Aug 22, 2006)

Your Majesty said:


> I can post whatever I want babe....and in the end, you don't need to reply.



Um, not technically true - we aren't a heavily moderated forum, but we are moderated. As someone who's taken offense to other people's posts in the past, I'd expect you to know this.  

And come on, if you post a bunch of touchy-feely threads about nothing in particular, you HAVE to expect to take a little heat for it from the rest of us - I posted with about as much seriousness as I felt an open-ended question on the nature of guilt warrented on an internet discussion board.


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## Leon (Aug 22, 2006)

you should be thrilled at our mostly-intelligent-and-serious responses! try asking such a question on a forum for Tractors And Overalls, or one for Big Pimp'n With The ODB.


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## Your Majesty (Aug 22, 2006)

Drew said:


> And come on, if you post a bunch of touchy-feely threads about nothing in particular, you HAVE to expect to take a little heat for it from the rest of us - I posted with about as much seriousness as I felt an open-ended question on the nature of guilt warrented on an internet discussion board.



Really? Is this question 'touchy-feely'? Really? You see, I don't look at it as being a 'touchy feely' type of question because, I could have easily asked, how you deal with anger, instead of guilt? But I guess, if _guys in general _look at any type of 'emotions' whether it be, happiness, anger, depression, love or guilt as 'touchy feely' - then who am I to say you're wrong?

But you see, that's where we learn from each other. This is a positive thing.

This is one of the many reasons why I at times, pose these questions because I like knowing how 'guys' think and interpret things. One of the many reasons why I get along great with guys and guys do treat me in being like "one of the guys' is because I understand how they 'tick'. This helps me understand how to deal with guys as well, in terms of their thinking, because its no secret, guys and girls do think differently.

Girls, think way too diverse on matters and being that girls tend to think with there emotions or heart, rather then their mind, as guys do, Iam interested how that all comes to be, thus, those are the true reasons why I ask these questions. I wish to understand, thus learn how you 'men' think and view things.

But I do thank you for your comments and in terms of being vague, I have to be. If I were to come out and truly post what was happening...... it would be so wrong and therefore, I am stand-offish in my posts, not always, because as you know, I have been VERY DIRECT, but ther are times I guard myself.

In closing, when you cut out all the jokes and the bullshit, deep down, a lot of you guys have some pretty interesting, intelligent and down right logical information to say. You may not all admit with one another, which is cool, but being the only female observer looking into your male dominated discussions, I have learned alot from you guys + plus, have adopted alot of the ways you guys view and think things. Which for me, is a positive.... 

_Shhhhh, don't tell anyone I said that._


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## Drew (Aug 22, 2006)

Your Majesty, I consider myself pretty in-touch with my emotions. As part of that, I don't discuss them on the internet.  That goes for anger just as much as it does for guilt.


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## DelfinoPie (Aug 22, 2006)

I hate feeling guilty about stuff....the way I usually deal with it is to clear my conscience. If it involves someone that I've hurt/affected in some way then I talk to them about it in a way that clears the air or straightens things out.

Otherwise I just ask myself, "In the grand scheme of things...does it really matter?" and usually I get my answer there.

I haven't felt guilty about anything in ages though, years most likely - I have no emotions, besides anger and satisfaction lol.


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## nitelightboy (Aug 22, 2006)

Your Majesty said:


> In closing, when you cut out all the jokes and the bullshit, deep down, a lot of you guys have some pretty interesting, intelligent and down right logical information to say.



Are you sure you're talking about us? 

 

Yeah, guys try to act all tough and hard, but most of us have a pretty soft side we don't like to show to everyone. We tend to be selective of who gets to see that side of us, usually only a few very close friends.


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## Drew (Aug 22, 2006)

nitelightboy said:


> Yeah, guys try to act all tough and hard, but most of us have a pretty soft side we don't like to show to everyone. We tend to be selective of who gets to see that side of us, usually only a few very close friends.




Hey nightlightboy!



Drew said:


> Maybe this would get better feedback here?


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## nitelightboy (Aug 22, 2006)

I love you too Drew!


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## Drew (Aug 22, 2006)

"Now lets all hold hands and talk about our feelings...."


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## Jason (Aug 22, 2006)

I thought this was gonna be about someone fuckign up there diet.


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## Rick (Aug 22, 2006)

I don't have a soft side.  

Yes I do.  

That smiley is me and my woman.


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## Dive-Baum (Aug 22, 2006)

Your Majesty said:


> I am dealing with some pretty hardcore guilt lately and the only way I know best to deal with it, is to surpress it. I usually tend to suck it up and move on.
> 
> Some have said, talk about it and set yourself free .... I disagree. In this case, I rather suck it up, or be six feet under, then ever confessing any of this shit to anyone.
> 
> So how do you deal with guilt?




That is it...you are a guy. I have had my suspissions but this confirms it. Guilt is something you just have to work through. Do some soul searching. If you are a religous/spiritual person then pray about it. Everyone does things they aren't proud of. It is what makes us human. But it is also an opportunity to better yourself so you will not do the same thing again. Confession or talking it out is usually not the best course of action, because then, on top of feeling guilty about something, paranoia sets in and you worry about how the person you told now thinks about you. So do yourself a favor and stop dwelling over whatever it is that you did. It is not constructive. You have to move on or it will eat you up inside.


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## The Dark Wolf (Aug 22, 2006)

Your Majesty said:


> But I do thank you for your comments and in terms of being vague, I have to be. If I were to come out and truly post what was happening...... it would be so wrong and therefore, I am stand-offish in my posts, not always, because as you know, I have been VERY DIRECT, but ther are times I guard myself.


I don't blame you for this at all. No way in shit I'd post my personal stuff on some public forum. Shyeah, right! I don't even put pics of myself, or my last name, on here. I was just fucking with ya before, but I'd do the same thing, in regards to private shit.


As for guilt, it's useless. Seriously. What Drew said is so right on the money. If you're doing something that makes you feel guilty, the simple solution is stop doing it.

"Hey doc, it hurts when I do this."
"Well, then don't do that!"



They did a study, and they found out that people who thought about and anaylzed thier feelings more, were consequently more depressed. I call it the 'MTV Real World' Syndrome. Here you got all these new people in some great new spot, and all they can do is fight, be miserable, and bitch about their feelings. Well, duh. The producers want drama, and so they always get them to dwell on their fucking feelings.

Have a laugh, get drunk, stop thinking about what's making you guilty, and don't fucking do it anymore, YM. There's your older, wiser brother giving you good advice.

Harumph.


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## Drew (Aug 22, 2006)

The Dark Wolf said:


> They did a study, and they found out that people who thought about and anaylzed thier feelings more, were consequently more depressed. I call it the 'MTV Real World' Syndrome. Here you got all these new people in some great new spot, and all they can do is fight, be miserable, and bitch about their feelings. Well, duh. The producers want drama, and so they always get them to dwell on their fucking feelings.



 How true.


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## Rick (Aug 22, 2006)

Thanks for the knowledge, Bob. I feel better.


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## forelander (Aug 22, 2006)

Substantial Guilt Vs The Irony of Enjoying...best song title ever.


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## The Dark Wolf (Aug 22, 2006)

rg7420user said:


> Thanks for the knowledge, Bob. I feel better.


Uh... you're welcome? 

Is that a sarcastic comment?


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## Nick1 (Aug 23, 2006)

desertdweller said:


> I don't feel guilt. I'm a man, goddamn it.
> 
> Men don't feel guilt. That's reserved for women, Cathollics, and pussies.


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## Steve (Aug 23, 2006)




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