# DeVries offers challenge: try one of his guitars. If yours is better, you keep it!



## MF_Kitten (Apr 24, 2013)

http://www.facebook.com/groups/158630457612042/

Now, obviously he's not going to do it, but I am trying to make this actually happen. Who is willing to try this out? If his guitar beats out yours, he gets to keep your guitar, which is unlikely


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## skisgaar (Apr 24, 2013)

".hng on u guys know bernie rico? he choice to bck down to a live tv show chalkengs against me his guitars aginst my fuck off and die guitar pkayed by aleuen vmpires"

I can't breathe.


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## MF_Kitten (Apr 24, 2013)

Yeah, there are some proper gems there!

Also, if anyone ends up trying this, don't let him get any personal details about you, as some people are saying he's a stalker. So let's not risk that


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## hairychris (Apr 24, 2013)

I remember the threads on the Aussie Bmusic site.

Legendary.

And first of the review videos:


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## Kiwimetal101 (Apr 24, 2013)

Hang on, is he actually posting in the group?!? He's blocked me so I can't see shit


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## WaffleTheEpic (Apr 24, 2013)

My most expensive guitar currently is like 400$, so I'm game.


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## pylyo (Apr 24, 2013)

loled hard on topics title


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## MF_Kitten (Apr 24, 2013)

Kiwimetal101 said:


> Hang on, is he actually posting in the group?!? He's blocked me so I can't see shit



He is, no joke! He found the group and went on a total parade, posting all sorts of childish insults! I tried reasoning with him to arrange this, but he refused to really accept it


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## HeHasTheJazzHands (Apr 24, 2013)

I saw that clusterfuck go down on Facebook. Jesus fucking Christ.


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## glassmoon0fo (Apr 24, 2013)

I keep thinking, there's no way this guy is real. But what if he IS? I think he may be functionally retarded with an ego like Kanye West, that's the only explination.


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## Philligan (Apr 24, 2013)

glassmoon0fo said:


> I keep thinking, there's no way this guy is real. But what if he IS? I think he may be functionally retarded with an ego like Kanye West, that's the only explination.



I've been following him on facebook for a while, and I think he's just got some personal problems  sometimes he's just ridiculous, but his fb is mostly him getting fucked up and getting in arguments with people. I figured he'd be crazy and a good laugh, but it mostly just bums me out.

Suffice it to say, I think large grains of salt are necessary all around.


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## Tranquilliser (Apr 24, 2013)

I just read all of the stuff on facebook and I think I had a brain aneurysm.


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## Oddkid (Apr 24, 2013)

Anonymously i was sent evidence the guy is mentally unstable. Apparently he's homosexual, taking female hormones and posting naked pictures of himself on dating sites including inserting stuff up his arse. He's interested in 1 on 1 and group sex and loves being passive and performing oral. I'd post up but i'd get banned.


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## skisgaar (Apr 24, 2013)

Oddkid said:


> Anonymously i was sent evidence the guy is mentally unstable. Apparently he's homosexual, taking female hormones and posting naked pictures of himself on dating sites including inserting stuff up his arse. He's interested in 1 on 1 and group sex and loves being passive and performing oral. I'd post up but i'd get banned.



I don't even......


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## Xaios (Apr 24, 2013)

Ah, the return of DeVries, the legend. No matter how bad some of Black Friday guitars were, nothing Bernie ever put out was on the same level of pure awfulness that is DeVries.


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## hairychris (Apr 24, 2013)

I remember the original Debries threads.

Good times.


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## poopyalligator (Apr 24, 2013)

Man, I really want this guy to bring some of his guitars to NAMM one day lol


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## tacotiklah (Apr 24, 2013)

poopyalligator said:


> Man, I really want this guy to bring some of his guitars to NAMM one day lol



I can see his display booth now:
"Come and see the world's most exotic and overpriced guitar shaped firewood!" 

I watched all 12 of those videos and it's just ludicrous how badly designed that guitar was.


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## Randy (Apr 24, 2013)

poopyalligator said:


> Man, I really want this guy to bring some of his guitars to NAMM one day lol



Considering what a colossal cheapskate that guy is, I'm pretty sure he'll never even see so much as a photograph of the convention center.


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## poopyalligator (Apr 24, 2013)

To be honesty though, I wouldn't mind having one of those plywood hardshell cases with foam interior lol.


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## ZEBOV (Apr 24, 2013)

I wish he'd go to NAMM just so EVERYONE there will tell him that he sucks at building guitars.


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## poopyalligator (Apr 24, 2013)

Randy said:


> Considering what a colossal cheapskate that guy is, I'm pretty sure he'll never even see so much as a photograph of the convention center.



I wouldn't call him being cheap, as much as I would call him being an innovator. The man recycles guitar strings, he is clearly ahead of the curb.


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## Xaios (Apr 24, 2013)

Not to mention a bridge that jumps! And DANCES!


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## anunnaki (Apr 24, 2013)

I added him on facebook for the lols
He posts a lot of retarded statuses on facebook, one time I saw that he liked a page called tranny porn and he was posting exceprts from his up and coming adult novel about vampires which I took some screenshots of haha


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## tacotiklah (Apr 24, 2013)

anunnaki said:


> I added him on facebook for the lols
> He posts a lot of retarded statuses on facebook, one time I saw that he liked a page called tranny porn and he was posting exceprts from his up and coming adult novel about vampires which I took some screenshots of haha



Tranny porn you say? You still have that link? 

Edit: So anyways, I looked up his facebook page. I think I'm starting to understand why in the hell this guy cannot build a guitar to save his life. I've never seen anyone (not even the lushes in my family) post or talk that much about drinking on their facebook page ever. So I'm taking into account the very real chance that this guy is inebriated 24/7, which would explain the shoddy workmanship and the lack of a stable mind when dealing with people.

The first real mind-numbing thing I saw on there was his post of his "original Vampiire guitar" with "one active pickup" when clearly in the accompanying picture, it's an open coil passive humbucker sitting there.


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## Randy (Apr 24, 2013)

anunnaki said:


> one time I saw that he liked a page called tranny porn



Well, all things considered, it's relieving to hear he's at least got good taste in viewing material.


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## tacotiklah (Apr 24, 2013)

^


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## Kiwimetal101 (Apr 24, 2013)

Screen shots!! For the ones who are blocked by this weirdo..


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## tacotiklah (Apr 24, 2013)

Well here's a screenshot of that guitar I was posting about. I had to edit out names/profile pics of people other than de vries of course:







Sorry, but that does not look like an active pickup to me.


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## Xaios (Apr 24, 2013)

I'd say the definition of "active" when discussing a DeBries guitar is "not completely dead."


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## UV7BK4LIFE (Apr 24, 2013)

ghstofperdition said:


> Well here's a screenshot of that guitar I was posting about. I had to edit out names/profile pics of people other than de vries of course:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


 
I'm flabbergasted by his description of his own guitar. A fretboard without radius and an ebony neck (how the hell do you carve an ebony NECK) on a guitar designed for drop tunings  

Well, if it is active, he probably soldered a 9 volt battery directly to the bridge and the output or something like that.


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## muffinbutton (Apr 24, 2013)

ghstofperdition said:


> Well here's a screenshot of that guitar I was posting about. I had to edit out names/profile pics of people other than de vries of course:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I'm also wondering about the ebony neck. And the scale being SHORTER than fender for drop tuning. Logic anyone? I wonder if the frets are even in the right spot.


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## anunnaki (Apr 24, 2013)

some random screenshots of his facebook page:

working in the music industry....





The first line on the guitar is what comes into my head when I see any of his guitars:





Damn right it's fucked up...





Here's something from his upcoming novel, I dunno if this is too explicit to post here haha:









oh yeah... and this


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## tacotiklah (Apr 24, 2013)

Guys, I found the greatest guitar he has ever played in 20 years....






Am I the only one who noticed that the trem is slightly angled downward and isn't flush with the neck?


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## muffinbutton (Apr 24, 2013)

anunnaki said:


> Here's something from his upcoming novel, I dunno if this is too explicit to post here haha:



Holy shit! He knows how to spell!


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## The Reverend (Apr 24, 2013)

This dude sounds like a winner. Must investigate further.

EDIT: Who 'engages' into a french kiss? Is there like a key you have to turn before flipping a switch?


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## Xaios (Apr 24, 2013)

anunnaki said:


> Here's something from his upcoming novel, I dunno if this is too explicit to post here haha:



Fifty Shades of Wut?


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## Webmaestro (Apr 24, 2013)

I just spent the last 30 minutes reading over all this stuff and getting up to speed... even watched those YT videos. Holy crap... where have I been?


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## Xaios (Apr 24, 2013)

^ DeBries is a true legend around these parts. It all started here (at least, this is the first mention of him on SSO): http://www.sevenstring.org/forum/se...eard-builder-his-name-devries-his-thread.html


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## JEngelking (Apr 24, 2013)

I hadn't heard of this dude either, and now I can't unsee. I also saw that ( ^ ) thread and didn't realize it was 37 pages  Time for some light reading.


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## Yimmj (Apr 24, 2013)

I CANT BREATHE


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## thebunfather (Apr 24, 2013)

This is now my new favorite sitcom. Love the "reading material" btw. "a couple orgasms..." That's fuckin' poetry, my friends!


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## BlackMastodon (Apr 24, 2013)

I got through that first paragraph of his fanfic and couldn't do it.  The names. The writing. Good lord. I think this further cements my theory that he's 13 years old, max.


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## pathogenicmetal666 (Apr 24, 2013)

Genuine "Rythm in jump. Dancing close to you" trem.


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## Alberto7 (Apr 24, 2013)

He's back! . I remember when I first found out about him (I think the original thread was still going). I spent 3 days laughing hysterically, and getting frustrated at the same time at the thought that he's a real person. I was euphoric.

I sent him a few private messages on Facebook calling him out on everything that was wrong with him and his guitars. At one point he literally contradicted himself in one sentence. This was what did it for me:

"its not 0ne of my custom guitars..work done was at the request of the customer..the customer was 2 tight to pay full price for a proper paint job..he got what he paid for...end of story..it aint one of my custom guitars..."

He built the customer a guitar. But it's not his guitar. What is logic?

So much stupid I can't handle.


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## JEngelking (Apr 24, 2013)

Okay, I read that whole thread.

Pardon my French, but that right there's some fucked up sheeeeit.


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## HeHasTheJazzHands (Apr 24, 2013)

Xaios said:


> Not to mention a bridge that jumps! And DANCES!



Speaking of that..

Floyd Rose Tremolo Bridge Double Locking System Chrome BL 03 LPE9202 | eBay

Someone actually found the legendary trem.


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## tacotiklah (Apr 25, 2013)

pathogenicmetal666 said:


> *vid*
> Genuine "Rythm in jump. Dancing close to you" trem.



On the plus side, there's plenty of lube inside the guitar to help ease the fact that the customer just got fucked over.


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## Vicious7 (Apr 25, 2013)

Shut up guys, I already preordered his book on Amazahn along with a tuft of Robert Pattinson's chest hair. I plan to  read it while perusing some tranny pr0n!


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## Navid (Apr 25, 2013)

When I first read this I was like: "Haaa he is back again with this bullshit. lol"
When I read this a second time: "Jesus Christ dude, there must be something terribly wrong with his brain."

Dude, dude no.


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## anunnaki (Apr 25, 2013)

A few more random pics for you

Maybe some of you guys really will be able to try out some of his guitars haha





Deep down, eric is just a sweety









This picture made me laugh, eric showing of his wood router





some interesting fashion sense...





then I couldn't be bothered going through his facebook anymore... I might get an aneurysm haha

I saw some pictures of guitars labeled devries on his fb page somewhere which seem to be from the 80's or something and they looked nowhere near as terrible as the guitars he makes nowadays. He also posted some video of some australian hair metal band from the 80's and I think one of the guitarists was playing a guitar that said devries.

My guess is either he used to be an okay luthier, then went of the rails, forgot how to make guitars and found out about buying parts from ebay or someone else used to make the guitars for him in the 80's


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