# One creature you'd never want to come across in the bush



## CrushingAnvil (Aug 4, 2009)

So, If you were walking in the bush, be it with friends or just by yourself, what animal/creature/being would you most NOT like to come across?

For me, it would have to be either Deinonychus Antirrhopus or its larger cousin Utahraptor Ostrommaysi  I know some people believe in the Chupacabra or the Yeti but by jingo...If any dromaeosaurid knows you're around, you'd better fuck in the direction of off 

So obviously I mean any animal from modern day to prehistory, existant to non-existant.

Go-ski!


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## Thin_Ice_77 (Aug 4, 2009)

Crabs.


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## Hawkevil (Aug 4, 2009)

This.


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## CrushingAnvil (Aug 4, 2009)

Hawkevil said:


> This.



I'm out of ultra-balls.





























FUCK


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## Scar Symmetry (Aug 4, 2009)

Lady GaGa


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## Hawkevil (Aug 4, 2009)

CrushingAnvil said:


> I'm out of ultra-balls.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


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## AySay (Aug 4, 2009)

my cousins...eww


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## Thin_Ice_77 (Aug 4, 2009)

Scar Symmetry said:


> Lady GaGa


Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?

Lady GaGa is hot.


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## Scar Symmetry (Aug 4, 2009)

Thin_Ice_77 said:


> Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?
> 
> Lady GaGa is hot.



http://www.sevenstring.org/forum/off-topic/92260-lady-gaga-has-a-penis-yeah.html


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## Thin_Ice_77 (Aug 4, 2009)

Scar Symmetry said:


> http://www.sevenstring.org/forum/off-topic/92260-lady-gaga-has-a-penis-yeah.html


I saw that interview, she said she had a 12-inch Donkey dick.

I'd still tap it.


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## arktan (Aug 4, 2009)

Scar Symmetry said:


> http://www.sevenstring.org/forum/off-topic/92260-lady-gaga-has-a-penis-yeah.html





This is a joke, right?


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## Scar Symmetry (Aug 4, 2009)

check the video out for yourself, no joke


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## CrushingAnvil (Aug 4, 2009)

De-railed


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## MF_Kitten (Aug 4, 2009)

haha! lady gaga doesn't have a dick, that's a rumor that she found so funny she embraced it herself 

not that i care for lady gaga a whole lot, but i don't like rumors and urban legends 

she's joked around about having the 12 inch donkey cock when asked about whether or not she's actually a young man or not, but if we were to believe everything that was uttered by artists, things would get out of control fast 

her birthname is Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta. not a manly name, no?

also, to contribute, i wouldn't want to meet anything really fast and aggressive, like a komodo dragon or alligator or something. there's something about the futility of it that scares my ass off


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## arktan (Aug 4, 2009)

CrushingAnvil said:


> De-railed



Sorry, my bad.

I'd be scared to see this:











It's real: 7 Terrifying Giant Versions of Disgusting Critters | Cracked.com

(Yes, i just used cracked.com as a real source  )


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## Scar Symmetry (Aug 4, 2009)

dude that's a Giant Isopod! I was going to say that before I decided I was more scared of Mr GaGa 

also: Japanese Spider Crabs


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## arktan (Aug 4, 2009)

Scar Symmetry said:


> I was going to say that before I decided I was more scared of Mr GaGa



I'm still in a dilemma 


And yeah, 



> Japanese Spider Crabs








Fucking brutal


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## Scar Symmetry (Aug 4, 2009)

12 foot wide JSC:


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## sami (Aug 4, 2009)

Good god mang! I'd be totally horrified if a hotlinked pic jumped out at me!!





/just bustin ur balls Scar! 

xD


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## CrushingAnvil (Aug 4, 2009)

arktan said:


> Sorry, my bad.
> 
> I'd be scared to see this:
> 
> ...




I take your Bird eating spidercunt and raise it by this much terror: Jaekelopterus rhenaniae - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia


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## Scar Symmetry (Aug 4, 2009)

dude that is the nastiest fucking thing I have ever seen


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## Konfyouzd (Aug 4, 2009)

Dick Cheney...


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## CrushingAnvil (Aug 4, 2009)

But seriously, Deinonychus and Utahraptor were probably the most dangerous animals that ever existed. 

They were as smart as apes - could problem solve and strategize/make decisions ahead of time, could sprint at roughly 20-30 miles an hour and had 4-10 inch ungual switchblade claws with MASSIVE Achilles (see Achillobator Giganticus) tendons just so, ya know, your guts can spill all over the show. 

Although Deinonychus was A LOT smaller than Utahraptor or Achillobator - They were just as dangerous as they hunted in larger numbers, ie. you think you see one coming and then one ninjas you from any other angle.

It's funny how much closure the 'extinct' label gives us, and that the supposed 'chupacabra' would be fuckloads freakier as a humanoid creature...argh I'm scaring myself 

Also, I'd rather die by the wit of a pack of raptors than by the sheer wtf-factor of some ninja naked humanoid thing with glowing eyes....or mothman...FUCK THAT SHIT...



Scar Symmetry said:


> dude that is the nastiest fucking thing I have ever seen



 wha? Pterygotus or the Isopod? Imagine trying to crush one of those Giant Isopods  in 50 years they'll be a fucking delicacy for our slightly different in appearance predecessors...


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## Hawkevil (Aug 4, 2009)

I watched a thing on the tv the other night about dinosaurs (crazy what you watch when there is nothing else on) and I can't remember if they were talking about the Deinonychus or not but they said that the dinosaur they were talking about was the most intelligent of them all and that it was about as intelligent as a chicken.

It also said the brain of a t-rex is the size of half a coke can.


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## MFB (Aug 4, 2009)

Personally, after this little bastard I don't ever wanna visit Australia or run into one but it's the Sydney Web Spider. I don't even wanna put up pics cause he's a grim kvlt motherfucker.


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## CrushingAnvil (Aug 4, 2009)

Hawkevil said:


> I watched a thing on the tv the other night about dinosaurs (crazy what you watch when there is nothing else on) and I can't remember if they were talking about the Deinonychus or not but they said that the dinosaur they were talking about was the most intelligent of them all and that it was about as intelligent as a chicken.
> 
> It also said the brain of a t-rex is the size of half a coke can.



T-rex was a little smarter than a chicken.

Animals evolve and devolve, in short - It probably went something like this:

Dromaeosauridae --(Skip through a couple of other suborders and branch-offs)--> True Raptors of modern day and moderate prehistory (AD 1400 - now) But you can pretty much link birds back to any Saurischian dinosaur.

Utahraptors were the prime of the Dromaeosauridae family, they really just stopped needing such advanced cranial efficiency.

Even though I've never heard jeff(JB) mention anything about prehistoric animals I'm sure he'd have wise words 



MFB said:


> Personally, after this little bastard I don't ever wanna visit Australia or run into one but it's the Sydney Web Spider. I don't even wanna put up pics cause he's a grim kvlt motherfucker.



*Is glad he lives in New Zealand, safe with his Kiwis and Daddy Long Legs*


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## HaGGuS (Aug 4, 2009)

http://www.ozanimals.com/image/albums/australia/Reptile/Z-MatthewKlein-InlandTaipan.jpg
I hope I never ever see one of those face to face.


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## Hawkevil (Aug 4, 2009)

Snakes don't really bother me.

Where as spiders creep the shit out of me.


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## CrushingAnvil (Aug 4, 2009)

HaGGuS said:


> http://www.ozanimals.com/image/albums/australia/Reptile/Z-MatthewKlein-InlandTaipan.jpg
> I hope I never ever see one of those face to face.



At least Taipans dont have Haemotoxic Venom. You get bitten by a snake with Haemotoxic venom an' ya'll bitches'll be rotting while you're still alive


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## vampiregenocide (Aug 4, 2009)

Continuing with the prehistoric theme, Sarcosuchus Imperator, the largest crocodile to have ever existed (About 40ft, weighed 10 tonnes).













Also, the S. American Candiru catfish. This is the one alledged to swim into penises, where it spreads its tiny barbs and drinks blood. Though they prefer to attack other fish, there have been documented cases on humans.







And also one of these, which landed on my shoulder once. In Britain :|


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## Hawkevil (Aug 4, 2009)

That wasp thing looks fucking horrible!!!

How rare are these things in England?


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## vampiregenocide (Aug 4, 2009)

Hawkevil said:


> That wasp thing looks fucking horrible!!!
> 
> How rare are these things in England?



There have been a few sightings of them apparently. A lot of foreign species are coming over here, takin our lilly pads. African clawed toads, burmese pythons and false widow spider could be native species within the next 100 years or less.

I saw one of those wasps when we were driving along and I had the window open. I felt soemthing hit my shoulder really hard, like I'd been punched. I looked down and theres this hench wasps on me, definately not a local kind. I almost freaked out, but luckily didn't, its crawled off me and went out the window.


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## Hawkevil (Aug 4, 2009)

I knew about the false widow spider which are supposedly making their way north right? 

A burmese python??? Shit! 

Man, those wasps are the worst though. Me and my mates caught a hornet before but it was no where near the size of that thing. 

lol to 'hench' as well haha. i've only heard a few of mates say that before.


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## vampiregenocide (Aug 4, 2009)

Hawkevil said:


> I knew about the false widow spider which are supposedly making their way north right?
> 
> A burmese python??? Shit!
> 
> ...



People let their pets loose and with the milder winters and warmer summers, they are finding it easier to survive. They aren't breeding yet they don't think, but if temperature increase continues the way it is, a few decades and they will be. Hell, we still have wild leopards from the 70s.

Lol it was scarily huge. It felt like I'd had a rock thrown at me.


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## CrushingAnvil (Aug 4, 2009)

vampiregenocide said:


> Continuing with the prehistoric theme, Sarcosuchus Imperator, the largest crocodile to have ever existed (About 40ft, weighed 10 tonnes).
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I was under the impression up until the age of 12 that Deinosuchus was the largest member of the crocodillian family ever but It seems the lack of skeletal evidence makes S. Imperator the winner by defaul. It's still an insanely large animal though. Probably the largest opportunistic predator ever...

Fuckin' Hornets 'n shit 

me and a friend just refer to all bees, wasps and bumble bees as 'bumblecunts'


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## Hawkevil (Aug 4, 2009)

Well atleast there are no huge spiders. lol.

I'm not so sure about the leopards though. Every time there is some new video or something you can never quite tell the size of it. It's hard to be certain about them. 

If I ever see one of those hornets though I will shit myself haha.


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## CrushingAnvil (Aug 4, 2009)

vampiregenocide said:


> People let their pets loose and with the milder winters and warmer summers, they are finding it easier to survive. They aren't breeding yet they don't think, but if temperature increase continues the way it is, a few decades and they will be. Hell, we still have wild leopards from the 70s.
> 
> Lol it was scarily huge. It felt like I'd had a rock thrown at me.



Leopards in the UK?

omgwtfbbq?

There was a huge Moose-rush in the 90's in New Zealand, there were all these sightings and ameteur photos and videos...was exciting...and in retrospect...very depressing...we need more shit to do here! 

Now that I look at it, that unlucky Spinosaurid looks like a suchomimus.


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## Hawkevil (Aug 4, 2009)

CrushingAnvil said:


> Leopards in the UK?
> 
> omgwtfbbq?
> 
> There was a huge Moose-rush in the 90's in New Zealand, there were all these sightings and ameteur photos and videos...was exciting...and in retrospect...very depressing...we need more shit to do here!


 
Off-topic but how is New Zealand. I've always thought of going to stay over there for a while. England just depresses me with its never ending shitty weather and nanny-state laws.


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## CrushingAnvil (Aug 4, 2009)

Hawkevil said:


> Off-topic but how is New Zealand. I've always thought of going to stay over there for a while. England just depresses me with its never ending shitty weather and nanny-state laws.



Deinonychus just up there...run...fast 

New Zealand isn't bad, I'm getting bored of it and there are a LOT of fuck-tards here but there are fuck-tards everywhere...

I say It's worth the trip.


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## TonalArchitect (Aug 4, 2009)

If I saw about any spider that is native to Australia I would probably melt into a puddle of protoplasmic goo. 

About that cracked article, this was amusing:



Cracked said:


> It can grow to over four-inches long, a size which technically makes them less "water striders" than "*insect barges of terror*."


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## Hawkevil (Aug 4, 2009)

haha cool man! If I get onto the next year of my uni course then hopefully I could get some qualifications to teach over there for a few years or something.


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## MikeH (Aug 4, 2009)

> Aside from causing intense pain, the venom of the spider can also cause priapism in humans. Erections resulting from the bite are uncomfortable, can last for many hours and can lead to impotence. A component of the venom (Tx2-6) is being studies for use in erectile dysfunction treatments.


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## vampiregenocide (Aug 4, 2009)

Hawkevil said:


> Well atleast there are no huge spiders. lol.
> 
> I'm not so sure about the leopards though. Every time there is some new video or something you can never quite tell the size of it. It's hard to be certain about them.
> 
> If I ever see one of those hornets though I will shit myself haha.



There was a story on the news about a kid who was actually attacked by one. Has huge 6 inch scars on his face. I'd ay thats pretty good evidence 



CrushingAnvil said:


> Leopards in the UK?
> 
> omgwtfbbq?
> 
> ...



Lol Yeah its weird, as well as Sarcosuchus, you had spinosaurus and suchomimus living in teh same area. Seems crocodile faces were a fashion thing in cretaceous Egypt


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## Scar Symmetry (Aug 4, 2009)

I got one:

Gok Wan Fat


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## vampiregenocide (Aug 4, 2009)

I can't imagine the grammifications of running into him in a bush.


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## Anthony (Aug 4, 2009)

Jeff Loomis. He'd fuck me up.


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## Arteriorrhexis (Aug 4, 2009)

This




Though I'd actually love to see one.

As well as the Megalodon


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## Brendan G (Aug 4, 2009)

I would hate to run into that damn acid spitting worm armed with rectum lightning.


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## vampiregenocide (Aug 4, 2009)

Arteriorrhexis said:


> This
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Holy shit I've never seen anyone manage to get so close to one. They're normally quite agressive.

Impressive though, creatures like that have been around for 400 million years.


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## Arteriorrhexis (Aug 4, 2009)

vampiregenocide said:


> Holy shit I've never seen anyone manage to get so close to one. They're normally quite agressive.
> 
> Impressive though, creatures like that have been around for 400 million years.



Yeah I saw something on tv where they let some school kids get a close look at one and it was huge! And it kept trying to bite the handlers which was pretty funny.


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## Xiphos68 (Aug 4, 2009)

Arteriorrhexis said:


> This
> 
> 
> As well as the Megalodon


Man, I would love to see a Megalodon as well! They say 95 percent of the ocean hasn't been explored. Do you think there might be some still around?


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## Arteriorrhexis (Aug 4, 2009)

Xiphos68 said:


> Man, I would love to see a Megalodon as well! They say 95 percent of the ocean hasn't been explored. Do you think there might be some still around?



Doubt it.. But I'd love to think there are... But hey it's shark week on discovery and yesterday they were talking them.


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## Xiphos68 (Aug 4, 2009)

Arteriorrhexis said:


> Doubt it.. But I'd love to think there are... But hey it's shark week on discovery and yesterday they were talking them.


About Megalodons? Do they have special show coming up during the week for them?


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## Xaios (Aug 4, 2009)

What is that Lizard thing? That is freaking cool.

Some extant animals I wouldn't want to run into in the wild that actually LIVE in the wild are wolverines and cougars. And no, not the attractive older woman variety.


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## Scar Symmetry (Aug 4, 2009)

Arteriorrhexis said:


> As well as the Megalodon



if I could choose a sea animal I would most NOT like to be eaten by it would be between a Megalodon and a Giant Squid


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## Xiphos68 (Aug 4, 2009)

Scar Symmetry said:


> if I could choose a sea animal I would most NOT like to be eaten by it would be between a Megalodon and a Giant Squid


Is that a new Giant Squid Picture? How could it eat you?


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## Scar Symmetry (Aug 4, 2009)

well it would put you in it's mouth and nom you.


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## Hawkevil (Aug 4, 2009)

Scar Symmetry said:


>


 
Ahh, I was just about to post this picture!

Anyway, other sea animals that freak me out are these deep sea creatures...


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## Arteriorrhexis (Aug 4, 2009)

Xiphos68 said:


> About Megalodons? Do they have special show coming up during the week for them?



I'm not sure but it would be great to see one just about them

Oh and Xaios that's the Japanese Giant Salamander


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## hairychris (Aug 4, 2009)

In the bush.... hmmm, maybe the honey badger. They're fucking ace but completely psychotic and hard as nails...


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## Severance (Aug 4, 2009)

hairychris said:


> In the bush.... hmmm, maybe the honey badger. They're fucking ace but completely psychotic and hard as nails...




Christ first he steals the things food theen eats it then dies the comes back to life for seconds. Should be named the jesus badger.


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## Xiphos68 (Aug 4, 2009)

Arteriorrhexis said:


> I'm not sure but it would be great to see one just about them
> 
> Oh and Xaios that's the Japanese Giant Salamander


Yeah it would be good to see about one. Well, we will see what happens.

Nobody wants to run into this.

Anybody give an estimate on how long it is?


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## Hawkevil (Aug 4, 2009)

Really hard to guess because theres nothing you can really put it into perspective with. 

Going on my guess of how long a meter is I would say about 6-7 meters.


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## Triple-J (Aug 4, 2009)

I have to nominate the Tasmanian Devil as I saw a documentary where a gang of three took down a deer and in a matter of seconds one of them chewed through the deers ass got inside it's carcass while still eating/shredding and then bust out of it's ribs alien chestburster style soaked in blood snarling and screaming it's fucking head off!

After that I'd say Badgers cause although they are Krieg! and metal as fuck cause they are the only animal that wears corpsepaint they are VICIOUS! but my ultimate nightmare would be me in the jungle with Katie Price/Jordan/whateverthefuckshewantstocallherselfnow.


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## DrakkarTyrannis (Aug 4, 2009)

Uncle Peaches..


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## Raoul Duke (Aug 4, 2009)




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## Scar Symmetry (Aug 4, 2009)

DT wins


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## fretninjadave (Aug 4, 2009)

This would suck wherever.


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## poopyalligator (Aug 4, 2009)

Arteriorrhexis said:


> This
> 
> 
> 
> ...



What the heck is this thing? It looks awesome.


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## Arteriorrhexis (Aug 4, 2009)

poopyalligator said:


> What the heck is this thing? It looks awesome.



Japanese Giant Salamander


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## lobee (Aug 4, 2009)

Triple-J said:


> I have to nominate the Tasmanian Devil as I saw a documentary where a gang of three took down a deer and in a matter of seconds one of them chewed through the deers ass got inside it's carcass while still eating/shredding and then bust out of it's ribs alien chestburster style soaked in blood snarling and screaming it's fucking head off!


Um...got a link!?


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## Empryrean (Aug 4, 2009)

manbearpig


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## EliNoPants (Aug 4, 2009)

Triple-J said:


> I have to nominate the Tasmanian Devil as I saw a documentary where a gang of three took down a deer and in a matter of seconds one of them chewed through the deers ass got inside it's carcass while still eating/shredding and then bust out of it's ribs alien chestburster style soaked in blood snarling and screaming it's fucking head off!



that is the most metal fucking thing i have ever fucking heard of...that should be a music video, nothing but a video of a Tasmanian Devil shredding into something, and then popping out of it covered in blood and screaming...maybe throw some fire in there too


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## White Cluster (Aug 4, 2009)

Triple-J said:


> I have to nominate the Tasmanian Devil as I saw a documentary where a gang of three took down a deer and in a matter of seconds one of them chewed through the deers ass got inside it's carcass while still eating/shredding and then bust out of it's ribs alien chestburster style soaked in blood snarling and screaming it's fucking head off!
> 
> .



I usually reserve this move for the third date


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## CrushingAnvil (Aug 4, 2009)

vampiregenocide said:


> Holy shit I've never seen anyone manage to get so close to one. They're normally quite agressive.
> 
> Impressive though, creatures like that have been around for 400 million years.



You should change your name to 'Ross Gellar' 

That looks like a Chinese Giant Salamander.



Xiphos68 said:


> Man, I would love to see a Megalodon as well! They say 95 percent of the ocean hasn't been explored. Do you think there might be some still around?



If there were still Carcharodon Megalodons swimming our oceans, we'd know - Because they wouldn't be swimming in the 95% of the ocean we haven't explored. why the hell does this fact remind me of Pokemon?...Probably because there are so many fucking barriers which have ocean on the other side 

Anyway - Scientists have speculated that Carcharodon would sometimes make their way into tight squeezes like eastuaries and lagoons so I'd say they would have made their presence known within the past 100 million years.

I remember seeing some weird news report about fishermen who got something huge in their net, after pulling it up they found the decaying body of a pliosaur...Could have just been a mega coincidence and the body would have been some miraculous chimera


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## CapenCyber (Aug 4, 2009)

Everything in this thread I could deal with except...




That fucking huge hornet.


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## oneiromancer (Aug 4, 2009)

Scar Symmetry said:


>



I'm surprised no one went for the obvious joke...they're gonna need a bigger boat!


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## Empryrean (Aug 4, 2009)

is that real? I'd shit my pants if i were those guys


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## JakeRI (Aug 4, 2009)

charlie parker.


he would fry my brains out with sheer talent


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## CrushingAnvil (Aug 4, 2009)

CapenCyber said:


> Everything in this thread I could deal with except...
> 
> 
> 
> ...



And Liopleurodon...


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## CapenCyber (Aug 4, 2009)

CrushingAnvil said:


> And Liopleurodon...



Oh yeah when I say "deal with" I mean not whimper like a girl, some of them I'd obviously be shit scared of and run!


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## lobee (Aug 4, 2009)

Vaginalodon fears no man, but every man must fear Vaginalodon.


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## CrushingAnvil (Aug 4, 2009)

lobee said:


> Vaginalodon fears no man, but every man must fear Vaginalodon.



If Vaginas had teeth It'd be game over for us dude


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## EliNoPants (Aug 5, 2009)

oh dear god...Vaginalodon is going to be a song name when i get around to doing my joke band


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## Bungle (Aug 5, 2009)

EliNoPants said:


> oh dear god...Vaginalodon is going to be a song name when i get around to doing my joke band


I thought that was going to be Mastodon's next album?


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## Xaios (Aug 5, 2009)

On that day, I know my end has come.


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## Variant (Aug 5, 2009)




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## Bungle (Aug 5, 2009)

Gary Busey CHYEEAAAHH!





I also saw a fucking hilarious pic of Nick Nolte from the 70's where he had a moustache and looked like he was about to offer some kids free lollies.


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## Arteriorrhexis (Aug 5, 2009)

CrushingAnvil said:


> That looks like a Chinese Giant Salamander.


Well damn... Looks like google thinks it's both Chinese and Japanese.


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## Xiphos68 (Aug 5, 2009)

Just think if this was you. What would you do?


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## Despised_0515 (Aug 5, 2009)

CrushingAnvil said:


> And Liopleurodon...



"It has told us the wayyyy!"
"Um.. it DIDN't say ANYTHING."




and I'd shit bricks if I were to ever see a fucking Coconut Crab in my way.






If no one would have ever sent me links on that ugly sonofabitch,
I would've sworn I stumbled upon an ancient or undiscovered species
then tried to blow up it up with fuckin' pipe bombs and return to a bunker
loaded with microwavable pizzas and top ramen preparing for their invasion.


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## vontetzianos (Aug 5, 2009)

The honey badger of death. 

Seriously, this thing is VICIOUS. The biggest, most robust buffalos shit bricks when this thing comes. It doesn't bite you to kill you... It goes straight from your gentleman's area, rips it clean off and lets you bleed to death. If that doesn't kill you the bacteria from its bite sure as hell will.


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## leonardo7 (Aug 5, 2009)

vontetzianos said:


>



That thing looks like Chupacabra mixed with some type of Gorilla. That mouth looks like its not closing until it finds your ball sack and rips it off. And he breaks right through barriers. No walls can hold him back. He finds you!

Just watched the new movie Outlander last night. Crazy creature in that movie. They call it Beowulf meets Predator but its more like Beowulf meets Alien.


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## poopyalligator (Aug 5, 2009)

Xaios said:


> On that day, I know my end has come.



I cant wait to go to his shop in december and clog up his toilet


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## vampiregenocide (Aug 5, 2009)

Wolverine. Close cousin of the honey badger (part of the mustelidae family). They attack bears for damn sake, and win. 







Giant Amazonian leech. Sigourney Weavy ain't gonna do shit.







Box jellyfish. It can kill you in 30 seconds. I'd say thats pretty badass...








...unless you're a sea turtle and you're immune to box jellyfish venom.


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## Korngod (Aug 5, 2009)

if rosie odonnell and ed roman had a kid.... that would be it for me..... of course rosie doesnt...erm... like men.


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## HammerAndSickle (Aug 5, 2009)

Variant said:


>


Hey, its me... 



vampiregenocide said:


> ...unless you're a sea turtle and you're immune to box jellyfish venom.



PHEW. I was worried there for a second.


...


* HammerAndSickle flops around on mah flippers.


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## Triple-J (Aug 5, 2009)

Variant said:


>


When the hell did Gary Busey transform into Crash Bandicoot? 



lobee said:


> Um...got a link!?



I tried youtubing but I found nothing all I remember is it was on one of those "worlds deadliest animals" type shows but an interesting fact is this.....
"On average, they eat about 15% of their body weight each day; however, they can eat up to 40% of their body weight in 30 minutes if the opportunity arises. 
Tasmanian Devils eliminate all traces of a carcass, devouring the bones and fur in addition to the meat and internal organs."

40% of it's bodyweight in 30 minutes is crazy I weigh 16 stone and there's no way I could eat 6 stones worth of food in a day never mind 30 minutes! 



Raoul Duke said:


>


Is that James Gandolfini in drag?


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## auxioluck (Aug 5, 2009)

Am I the only one that thinks the wolverine is a cute little bastard?? 

For me, it'd have to be a Puff Adder. Fuck those things.


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## vampiregenocide (Aug 5, 2009)

auxioluck said:


> Am I the only one that thinks the wolverine is a cute little bastard??



They are cute as hell  Until they rip out your guts and use them as skipping ropes 

Cute Tazzys


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## Daemoniac (Aug 6, 2009)

Sarah Palin.


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## bzuka (Aug 7, 2009)

i don't want to come across jipers cripers


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## Esp Griffyn (Aug 7, 2009)

Scar Symmetry said:


> dude that is the nastiest fucking thing I have ever seen



If you would like to learn more they are featured in the first episode of BBC's "Walking with Monsters" series, its been a while since I watched the dvd though. Very cool!

My personal vote goes to...







The Giant Moray. Can be aggressive towards divers and snorkellers, large jaws, up to 3M in length and weighing up to 66lbs, these are basically huge long muscles with sharp teeth in the front end. Coupled up with saliva filled with nasty pathogens that often cause infections makes them an animal not to be trifled with. Thankfully, if you keep your distance you are generally safe, and I had the pleasure of observing one while I was on holiday in the Maldives recently. He was sitting inbetween some rocks at a depth of about 7 or 8M, and I swam down to photograph him, getting about as close as I dared. He was just watching me the whole time, jawing slowly and taking in water. Pretty damn impressive, with a good bite and twist they can literally strip a bicep and trip off (happened to a woman a few years back, she lost the arm obviously). Like I say, you give them serious respect if you meet them!

Another time when I was snorkelling I saw a large Emperor fish, and decided to follow it, several seconds later an 80cm Honeycomb Moray emerged from a hole in a nearby rock, and they set off together. The Moray was chewing up fish and crustaceans and the Emperor fish was snapping up the leftovers. I followed them around for a good while, was pretty scary when the Moray changed direction and started heading back towards me! Beautiful creatures though...






Another one to watch out for in the Maldives is the Titan Triggerfish, very aggressive when guarding eggs! They turn on their side to look at you, and when you see that it basically means "swim backwards now", because they charge and bite. They have strong jaws and sharp teeth, and while not likely fatal the bite is supposed to hurt like a bitch. They really are gorgeous though.






However, the one fish I didn't expect to be aggressive, and the only one that bit me was a large Parrotfish, I'm stil not quite sure which species though. I got inbetween it and it's family (I didn't see it circle behind me) and then it rushed in and bit my thumb! They have beak-like jaws for chewing coral, so they are quite powerful and it did hurt quite a bit, thankfully no damage was caused, next time I go I will look out for flankers!


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## -mouse- (Aug 7, 2009)

the fucker on the bottom. Normally, I love snakes but that dude would make me shit bricks if he slithered my way

And if you ever see a honey badger running at you like in the pic on the previous page, you better get back in the fucking car!


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## vampiregenocide (Aug 7, 2009)

Tiger Fish







Goonch Catfish, apparently these fish are responsible for several fatal attacks on humans, though by idividuals a couple times bigger than this.







Giant Boar. Image looks fake, but the pig was confirmed to weigh more than 1000 lbs.







Goant Brown Bear. Grim shots, but this thing is impressive.


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## hufschmid (Aug 7, 2009)

I have a problem with spiders.... 

I may not have the balls to face one of those creatures, but if one of those things comes in front of me, I may have an epic heart attack....


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## hufschmid (Aug 7, 2009)

vampiregenocide said:


>



om nom nom nom om nom nom


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## vampiregenocide (Aug 7, 2009)

hufschmid said:


> om nom nom nom om nom nom




'Where some see terror...Hufschmid sees only bacon'


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## hufschmid (Aug 7, 2009)

vampiregenocide said:


> 'Where some see terror...Hufschmid sees only bacon'



I did not say the magic word, I'm innocent


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## BlindingLight7 (Aug 7, 2009)

vampiregenocide said:


> 'Where some see terror...Hufschmid sees only bacon'


you said a badword D:


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## vampiregenocide (Aug 7, 2009)

BlindingLight7 said:


> you said a badword D:



What Francis Bacon? The surrealist artist? I see nothing wrong there...


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## hufschmid (Aug 7, 2009)




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## s_k_mullins (Aug 7, 2009)

I don't know bout you guys, but when i'm playin in the bush i worry about stuff like herpes and crabs and pubic lice... 
Oh wait nevermind, i thought you meant a _girl's_ bush


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## vampiregenocide (Aug 7, 2009)

s_k_mullins said:


> I don't know bout you guys, but when i'm playin in the bush i worry about stuff like herpes and crabs and pubic lice...
> Oh wait nevermind, i thought you meant a _girl's_ bush


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## hufschmid (Aug 7, 2009)

fixed 



vampiregenocide said:


>


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## SupaCoolMan2005 (Aug 7, 2009)

These would just fucking freak me out..they are not noticeable by touch They are called camel Spiders.Deadly as fuck







And They Do This to you






Only Commonly found in iraq tho thank god


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## Marv Attaxx (Aug 7, 2009)

SupaCoolMan2005 said:


> These would just fucking freak me out..they are not noticeable by touch They are called camel Spiders.Deadly as fuck
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Holy Shit 
That looks disgusting and cool at the same time 
...
I think I'm gonna have nightmares now


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## SupaCoolMan2005 (Aug 7, 2009)

^
 Yah you dont know how many sleeps it has ruined of mine..thanks to my brother that jerk. Im terrible with spider even if its the tiny ones and are completely harmless


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## -mouse- (Aug 7, 2009)

SupaCoolMan2005 said:


> These would just fucking freak me out..they are not noticeable by touch They are called camel Spiders.Deadly as fuck
> 
> 
> 
> ...



^^^ Why I don't want to enlist to go to iraq.


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## Esp Griffyn (Aug 8, 2009)

You do know thats the equivilant of an allergic reaction, and can happen to any bite, from any insect right?


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## SupaCoolMan2005 (Aug 8, 2009)

Id like to see someone have an allergic reaction that's as bad that..The venom inside of the spider rots yours bone and flesh. Its the second most causes of amputation other than road side bombs in Iraq


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## Adam Of Angels (Aug 8, 2009)

Not as ugly as some of the monsters posted in this thread, but pissed off as all fuck, and super metal:







The bull moose.


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## Rambo247 (Aug 9, 2009)

MF_Kitten said:


> haha! lady gaga doesn't have a dick, that's a rumor that she found so funny she embraced it herself
> 
> not that i care for lady gaga a whole lot, but i don't like rumors and urban legends
> 
> ...


...buzzkill


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## Bekanor (Aug 9, 2009)

There's a really deadly spider. Sydney funnel web, venom is lethal in 40 minutes if untreated.



The camel spider is weak as piss.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solifugae


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## Esp Griffyn (Aug 9, 2009)

SupaCoolMan2005 said:


> Id like to see someone have an allergic reaction that's as bad that..The venom inside of the spider rots yours bone and flesh. Its the second most causes of amputation other than road side bombs in Iraq



You prat, you have fallen to the urban legends.

Solifugae - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Oh, and if you didn't think that allergic reactions could get that bad, perhaps consider reading into them too. Educate yourself, and stop perpetuating BS.


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## Bekanor (Aug 9, 2009)

Esp Griffyn said:


> You prat, you have fallen to the urban legends.
> 
> Solifugae - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
> 
> Oh, and if you didn't think that allergic reactions could get that bad, perhaps consider reading into them too. Educate yourself, and stop perpetuating BS.



But but but but but


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## Esp Griffyn (Aug 9, 2009)

I knew someone would pull that photo out!

Look at the guys cuff and the heel of his hand, they aren't much bigger than his hand span.


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## Bekanor (Aug 9, 2009)

I know the story I was just being a dick.


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## Daemoniac (Aug 9, 2009)

^ To be fair to him, the Wolf Spider actually does have an effect that is rather similar to that, and if im not mistaken it's not the result of allergic reactions 






and it's bite causes abscesses and some rotting of skin 










THe White Tail spider also:






and it's bite:









Spiders scare the fuck out of me  Something about the way they walk


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## Adam Of Angels (Aug 9, 2009)

I'm terrified of spiders, even if they look cool (and terrifying), but we have wolf spiders all around here and while they scare the ever living shit out of me when I see one, they're not known to be dangerous.. they bite, but I don't believe they're terribly poisonous.


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## Esp Griffyn (Aug 9, 2009)

The Brown Recluse or Wandering Spider can cause the same kind of reactions, its a family of venoms that are similar, but it doesnt happen in all cases, only persons sensitive to the venom. The horrible lesions and such are a rare event, an allergic reaction you might say


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## Marv Attaxx (Aug 9, 2009)

Demoniac said:


> ^ To be fair to him, the Wolf Spider actually does have an effect that is rather similar to that, and if im not mistaken it's not the result of allergic reactions
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Holy shit, I should stop visiting this thread while eating 
Damn you


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## Adam Of Angels (Aug 9, 2009)

Esp Griffyn said:


> The Brown Recluse or Wandering Spider can cause the same kind of reactions, its a family of venoms that are similar, but it doesnt happen in all cases, only persons sensitive to the venom. The horrible lesions and such are a rare event, an allergic reaction you might say


 
Brown Recluse is the fucker that should have been brought up long ago in this thread. These are badass little dudes (well, big in terms of spiders). Did you know that there's rarely ever more than one within a 5 mile radius because they hunt and kill eachother? 






Ugh... freaked me out to even look that picture up...


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## Mattayus (Aug 9, 2009)

Not sure if it's been mentioned already but, the Platypus can fuck right off where fighting is concerned.

Not only is the fuckin bastard the only Mammal to lay eggs (and have a beak, for that matter!) but the males have a spine on their back feet, sort of like an extra toe nail, like this - 






that injects an incredibly painful venom.

I watched an interview with an American back-packer, telling his story of when he went round Australia. His is one of the very very few cases to ever be recorded of being stung by one. Now, this guy was a 'Nam veteran, and he actually got hit by a bit of shrapnel from a bomb during that war. He basically said he'd prefer to go through that 10 times over than ever be stung by a Platypus again  So, basically, it fucking hurts!!! A lot!

Also, FWIW, I've been bitten by a White Tail spider when I was in New Zealand. It was a New Zealand whitetail though, needless to say, their venom is a hell of a lot weaker. The bite caused a bit of a swelling and I felt sick for a few days but that was all. Still...






... little cunt!


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## Adam Of Angels (Aug 9, 2009)

^That's dead serious...

Come to think of it, I've heard absolute horror stories of venomous bites. There's a fish that sits in shallow waters that looks like a rock, and it has sharp spiney things on its back... basically, you're most likely to accidentally step on one, but the poison causes more pain than most known to man. The worst part is that it could last for weeks... weeks of you writhing in pain. Some things are more metal than we can ever hope to be.


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## Daemoniac (Aug 9, 2009)

Bah, the Platypus is God's retard.

"Oh my god it's a duck/beaver that lives in the water... oh but don't pick it up, if you happen to get your hand behind it's rear leg it'll fuck you the hell up..."



Trust me, there are far _far_ more intimidating/dangerous creatures here in Aus than the platypus  Like the spiders, snakes, sharks, jellyfish, bugs and poisonous sea creatures  Not to mention the dreaded Drop Bear...



Adam Of Angels said:


> ^That's dead serious...
> 
> Come to think of it, I've heard absolute horror stories of venomous bites. There's a fish that sits in shallow waters that looks like a rock, and it has sharp spiney things on its back... basically, you're most likely to accidentally step on one, but the poison causes more pain than most known to man. The worst part is that it could last for weeks... weeks of you writhing in pain. Some things are more metal than we can ever hope to be.



Stonefish 

We get them around the Great Barrier Reef here in Aus.

Also the Box Jellyfish and Portuguese Man'o'War... fucking hate Jellyfish too.


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## oneiromancer (Aug 9, 2009)

I have utmost respect for you Aussies. I'm pretty sure that continent is Mother Nature's way of saying "Get the fuck out"


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## Daemoniac (Aug 9, 2009)

There's actually a book called "Australia's most dangerous creatures", it's an entertaining read


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## DrakkarTyrannis (Aug 9, 2009)

CrushingAnvil said:


> If Vaginas had teeth It'd be game over for us dude



Not for me.


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