# What is the stupidest injury you've inflicted on yourself?



## shotgunn (Mar 3, 2009)

What is the stupidest injury you've inflicted on yourself?

And how did you do it?

What would you do differently, if anything?

I currently am recovering from a broken left (dominant) hand. I play righty guitars as a righty would though.

In a foolish fit of rage I punched my countertop 3 or 4 times. Due to the height of the counter and the angle of my hand. My 4th and 5th Meta-Carpal's (ring and pinky knuckles) struck the counter. It probably broke on the first punch to be honest. Now I have 5 pins in there (coming out this FRIDAY!!!) And can soon begin more aggressive therapy. Obviously my guitar playing has suffered. I have not stopped playing though. I play almost everyday. I suck at the moment, but I'm just trying to keep some blood flowing and keep the atrphy to a minimum.

If I could do things differently I would have either not hit anything at all or hit my tempur-pedic mattress.

I'll try and post some x-ray pics. Oh, and I got to watch the whole surgery. it was AMAZING!!!! They blocked my nerves and used a tournicate to minimize blood. They used these crazy calipers and tore right through my flesh to force the bones in place. And then drilled the pins right in there. They could have been smashing my arm with a sledge hammer and I would not have frlt anything.

Anyway I just wanted to start an interesting thread here, if it has been done, please excuse me.

Thanx,

shotgunn


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## distressed_romeo (Mar 3, 2009)

When I was really littley mother made me do extra maths before school each day. One day I got it into my head to stab myself in the palm of the hand with my pencil.

Yes, it hurt.


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## E Lucevan Le Stelle (Mar 3, 2009)

I stacked it rather badly while skateboarding and broke my ankle... I've got pins in it now! \m/


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## Thin_Ice_77 (Mar 3, 2009)

When I was at school someone said they'd give me a pound if I cut myself with a pencil sharpener blade. I got the quid and got out of the end of Spanish because I was bleeding. That was awesome.

I've self-harmed quite a bit, got quite a few scars on my upper arm, wrist and lower leg.

I put out a cigarette on my hand because I was pissed off with my (now ex) girlfriend. That was about 2 months ago, still got the scar from it. 

Not really an injury, but still funny to mention- I set my hair on fire while lighting a cigarette at 3 o'clock in the morning. That smelled really, really bad and before I saw it I was terrified that I'd have to shave my head or something


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## vampiregenocide (Mar 3, 2009)

I fell over and when I stood up I had a hook in my eye, which I pulled out. All the damage was just my eye was a little bloodshot.


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## caughtinamosh (Mar 3, 2009)

Pretty mundane, but nevertheless -

I fell off a six foot wall
I jammed my finger in a closing garage door

EDIT - OHHHH, and I burnt myself on a pan in Home Economics Class, and subsequently ran my finger under the HOT water tap.

Fail.


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## hmmm_de_hum (Mar 3, 2009)

Still trying to figure out how i actually did this one, basically in my athletics days i stood on my own wrist with running spikes comming out of the blocks (i practically left my hand at the line when i took off, epic stack). Pierced the main vein in my wrist....lots of blood and a trip to hospital for stitches and repair to my wrist and vein


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## hufschmid (Mar 3, 2009)

I fell on my head when I was a teen trying to impress some friends with some acrobatic bull shit....

Anyway, I actually damaged slightly one of my cervicals and for the rest of my life I will have some pain in my neck and stress related symdroms because of this little stupid fall....


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## Rick (Mar 3, 2009)

Jumped from some stairs.

Right foot still hurts.


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## ShadyDavey (Mar 3, 2009)

Thin_Ice_77 said:


> I've self-harmed quite a bit, got quite a few scars on my upper arm, wrist and lower leg.



At the risk of sounding preachy......I can't play guitar atm because of that shit so please do me a favour and stop. Its utterly heartbreaking and if problems are that bad there are alternatives. I can't bear the thought of anyone ending up in my boat....

Stupid injuries? Yeah, that was mine. Got drunk, got into a row with my fiance of the time, ended up with 15 stitches and a completely fail ring/pinky finger. Hence the tag....


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## Thin_Ice_77 (Mar 3, 2009)

ShadyDavey said:


> At the risk of sounding preachy......I can't play guitar atm because of that shit so please do me a favour and stop. Its utterly heartbreaking and if problems are that bad there are alternatives. I can't bear the thought of anyone ending up in my boat....


I haven't for about a week. The last time I did, I cut myself really deep and it didn't stop bleeding for ages. Kinda scared me. Plus having scars all over my arm is a bitch, I had to tell someone at work the cat scratched me 

Thanks for the concern anyway


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## WhiteShadow (Mar 3, 2009)

When i was 16 i was kicking this soccer ball onto a roof. The ball would go on the roof of the house, then roll back off, and i'd try to kick it back up on the roof before it would touch the ground. I kicked the ball one time and it kinda went to the left and rolled off the house, so i had to chase it down to my left. What i neglected to notice or even pay attention to at all was that there was a huge cement slab of a patio out back of this particular house that was raised off the grass about 3 feet. I went to kick that ball with ALL my might, except i didnt kick no ball. I kicked my foot as hard as i could muster not into a soccer ball, but directly into the side of that concret slab! 

I ended up shattering my entire foot, and fracturing it in a total of 16 places!!! Yeah, i said 16 different places. Long story short, i have enough titanium in my right foot to make a pretty nice chunk a change at the metal scrap yard!!!

I've been on a permanent prescription for some mild painkillers ever since and will continue to be forever probably. Only because at certain times i cant even walk cause of the arthritis in my foot. Considering my job requires me to be on my feet 98&#37; of the time, they are a god send.


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## vampiregenocide (Mar 3, 2009)

ShadyDavey said:


> Stupid injuries? Yeah, that was mine. Got drunk, got into a row with my fiance of the time, ended up with 15 stitches and a completely fail ring/pinky finger. Hence the tag....



Dude sorry to hear that :/ Hope you heal up soon


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## ShadyDavey (Mar 3, 2009)

vampiregenocide said:


> Dude sorry to hear that :/ Hope you heal up soon



Thanks man - it needs some serious rehabilitation to get back to guitar-playing standard but the Doctor said at the time (about 11 years ago) that I hadn't damaged anything that couldn't be bought back to some degree of functionallity.

Nearly died through blood loss however, that was teh fail.


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## vampiregenocide (Mar 3, 2009)

ShadyDavey said:


> Thanks man - it needs some serious rehabilitation to get back to guitar-playing standard but the Doctor said at the time (about 11 years ago) that I hadn't damaged anything that couldn't be bought back to some degree of functionallity.
> 
> Nearly died through blood loss however, that was teh fail.



Shit :| Thats soem hardcore stuff.

I've never had an life-threatening images, just weird, cringey stuff like the eye thing, knocking my whole tooth out (root and all) and cracking my skull twice.


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## HamBungler (Mar 3, 2009)

My stupidest injury probably happened when I was three years old. I was bored waiting for my mom to get ready to go get my older brother from school, so I decided to occupy myself by pretending to be a rhinoceros. Long story short, I hit my head on a small table and was bleeding for a good bit before my mom found me and took me to the hospital for stitches.

I've also "fallen" on my guitars and gotten scratches near my eye from the leftover bits of guitar sting, and have lit my hair on fire when I was really stoned


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## WhiteShadow (Mar 3, 2009)

ShadyDavey said:


> it needs some serious rehabilitation to get back to guitar-playing standard but the Doctor said at the time (about 11 years ago) that I hadn't damaged anything that couldn't be bought back to some degree of functionallity.



Man, thats one of my biggest fears in life. Losing the ability to play guitar. If anything ever happen to my hands/fingers to the point where i couldnt play guitar, i know i'd fall into a deep depression, maybe even worse. Guitar playing is just that close to my heart!

I hope your fingers heal back up fully man!! In the mean time since you still have your index and middle finger working, you can rock out using the 2 finger Django Reinhardt technique!!


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## ShadyDavey (Mar 3, 2009)

vampiregenocide said:


> Shit :| Thats soem hardcore stuff.
> 
> I've never had an life-threatening images, just weird, cringey stuff like the eye thing, knocking my whole tooth out (root and all) and cracking my skull twice.



I'm fairly lucky with trivial stuff - Its either terminal or nothing!!

I did have one friend who shot himself on the bollock with an airsoft rifle which was moderately hilarious.....(although he did insist on showing us the bruised article at work....) and the same guy who got an infected penis when a PA piercing went wrong. 

"Here chaps, check this out" quoth he...

So, being the unsuspecting and naive types we were, naturally we turned round only to be confronted by a purple and yellow donger with a forlorn ring through the end. MORE hilarity......

Oh, and the chap who burnt his arse on an electric fire and had two perfectly parrallel 10" blisters across his cheeks.

No, don't ask....



WhiteShadow said:


> Man, thats one of my biggest fears in life. Losing the ability to play guitar. If anything ever happen to my hands/fingers to the point where i couldnt play guitar, i know i'd fall into a deep depression, maybe even worse. Guitar playing is just that close to my heart!
> 
> I hope your fingers heal back up fully man!! In the mean time since you still have your index and middle finger working, you can rock out using the Django Reinhardt technique!!



I've always had music close to my heart, its just taken me this long to realise how much it meant. If I can get myself a guitar then yeah, I suspect there will be some Django licks being recycled - thanks for the good wishes


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## reptillion (Mar 3, 2009)

When I was about 5, I wanted to go out to play in the snow, so I had my big fluffy mittens on, and I had to staple something, and I didn't have the sense to take of the mitten, so somehow I ended up stapling my hand to the mitten.

In sixth grade, on the last week of school, I took a dare and jumped of the top of the playground structure, only to land my balls on a metal pipe/

This one didn't hurt me, but one guy was about two seconds away from taking a punch at me:

For a science competition, my schools team, which i am on, is at a local high school. The events are in 6 1 hour blocks, and most people have 3 free blocks. My friend and I are hanging out it the schools gym, where people are testing their miniature Wright style planes. About 4 of us climbed up the folded up bleacher, which was about 20 feet tall. By doing this we avoided the kids who werent willing to break the rules and climb up. Perfect for private conversation.
About an hour later, I realize I have to be somewhere, so we are all climbing down. Going up theres multiple ways but going down, there was only 1 "safe" way. My friends are using it. I grab my hands around the top, lowered myself down and was about to jump. My moron friends told me one of the funniest things I had heard in a while. I was laughing uncontrollably and fell backwards. I managed to land feet first, but with my back on someone who appeared to be about a senior in highschool, and I was about 5 inches away from smashing his plane. I felt bad, but as an arrogant kid, my job was to show no remorse, so when the guy started yelling at me, I dared my friends to try jumping off the bleachers. That guy was scary

EDIT: When I was in 5th or 6th grade, I was biking back to my house from a neighbors house, for some reason I tried to go down a hill with a big rock pile at the bottom, landed on it. I got up and biked home, didnt realize what happened until i saw my bike was bloodstained, saw the bone on both of my knees, and several deep gashes on my neck.

Another incident, my friend and I were swimming by a waterfall/ secluded area by the potomac river, and i dropped a boulder on my leg, got stuck, and once i got out, i had two gashes, whose scares have just disappeared(or im just not flexible enough to find them)


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## sami (Mar 3, 2009)

Going downhill on a super freshly paved street really fast on a 10 speed, I wasn't in the lowest gear so I decided to switch.

Well the chain dislodged and when I pedaled I lost my balance. Sooo I slid down the road about 10-15 feet.

It was hot that day so I was wearing a wifebeater and shorts.

I ended up getting pieces of new road up from my left elbow to my hand as well as all over my knee...UNDER my skin.

Now that's not the worst of it. I get back up and pedal home (took like 10 minutes?)

I get home and what's the first thing I do? I take the water hose and start trying to wash my wounds.

I have NEVER felt so much physical pain at once in my life... So yeah, I learned the hard way that if you have a really REALLY bad flesh wound, do NOT put water on it. Stings like lemon juice inside a paper cut...

FML


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## Stealthdjentstic (Mar 3, 2009)

Punched a tree and broke all my knuckles.


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## bobbyretelle (Mar 3, 2009)

i broke my finger by shutting it in a car door


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## CentaurPorn (Mar 3, 2009)

3 fractured Vertebrae (compressed spinal fracture) from a nasty motorcycle accident that was nothing more than my own stupidity.

ie - no practice runs stunting on a new stretch of road. Wheelie @ about 100 mph without knowing there was dirt before the 90 degree turn. Superman over the handlebars and landed at the bottom of a large hill. Woke up to people crying and the sound of the amulance.

Damn lucky I walked away.

Surprisingly I felt no pain until I was @ the hospital. I even refused the whaaamulance ride and caught a lift to the hospital with the police offer that arrived as she was a friend of mine. It was all caught on camera but destroyed before the police showed up.


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## heavy7-665 (Mar 3, 2009)

i used to have a stunt onstage where i would jump from the stage to the guard rail and balance there. one time i over jumped, drop kicked some guy in the chest and hit my head on the rail.


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## Cyanide_Anima (Mar 3, 2009)

my microwave blew up while nuking some chili in one of those "to go" bowls they come in. my microwave didnt like it (metal rim) AND BLEW UP. chili went all over my living room. i was in awe. i felt the anger build from the last year of generally getting shit on and punched the floor with my fret hand. broken wrist and 2 broken metacarpals. this happened two weeks ago. two more weeks to go with this fucking cast. balls. lesson learned.


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## leftyguitarjoe (Mar 3, 2009)

I *almost* stupidly hurt myself once. I was 17 years old, driving home from the dentist. For some reason, my parents picked a dentist that lives an hour away instead of one of the many I could fucking WALK to.

anyway

I had the radio on. Freebird was playing. For some reason, I remember that. I'm on a back road I use to avoid a toll. There is a damn near 90 degree bend in the road, but I didnt slow down enough and there were wet leafs all over the road. The car pulled a 180. I was lucky enough to have a telephone pole stop the rotation. The car then drifted backwards into some trees. I was perfectly fine

and later on, some guy rear ended me so I got out of paying for the damage done to the back of the car


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## Dusty201087 (Mar 3, 2009)

Ugh. Stupid injuries and myself just have a way of finding each other.

1) Riding down our drive way on my dirt bike to get the paper (we have a long ass drive way - like about a mile long. When you live in the sticks... btw, my driveway is also very hilly, curvy, and freshly paved because it was a bitch in the winter). I got all the way down, proceed to realize I need both hands for riding the bike. Mind you I was pretty inexperienced at the time, and this is a Honda 250cc bike, so it's by no means "small". Because I'm brilliant, I put the paper down my pants and under my shirt (how people tote guns basically), *put up the kickstand* and go. So I'm riding along. I have my helmet on, but nothing past that besides a shirt, jeans, and I think some boots. I get to the first left corner. Lean in, going about 30mph...

*SCRATCHKKKKKKKKCCCCCCCCCCCCCCAAAAAA*... The bike wobbles, I freeze. Again, the sound. The bike falls to the right of me and I'm hurled off, still incoherent as to what was happening. I ended up with some terrible road rash that I still have a scar from, and thank god I was wearing a helmet. The newly paved driveway? Scratched up. The bike? Still has pavement on it that I can't get off. I think I must've put the kickstand up about 90&#37; of the way - then it fell sometime along the ride. To this day, I remember putting it up when I left. If I had had more experience under my belt, I would've leaned the other direction, ramped the bike into a feild, and jumped mid-air, but hell, it's a good story to tell.

2) I was young. Riding a 90cc e-ton four wheeler. Well, my dad had just made this new trail through the woods, and so he led me around it. Eventually, there was a BIG hill (or at least it was pretty big then) that was really steep, and I was scared to go up it (I was like 9-10). My dad goes up it, and just tells me to keep on the throttle and I'll be fine. Well, I go for it, and was making it. Then, at the very top, RIGHT AS I WAS GOING OVER IT, I let off. Because I didn't have the experience I do now I didn't have my weight right, and the front wheels came over. I jumped, and hugged the ground for dear life. Next thing I know my head (yay helmets) is being smashed into the ground. The thing actually flipped and the tire hit me on the head - then the quad bounced off and rolled down the hill. I was fine, the quad was fine, just really shook me up and I had a fucking huge headache 

But yeah. Yay helmets. I seriously wouldn't be here (and be cohearent) if it wasn't for those things.


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## EliNoPants (Mar 3, 2009)

i've never had any major injuries in my life, however a funny one was slamming my hand on a door trying to make a drunken point/joke and punctuate it with a good hand slam...only i put my hand down on a nail, not one sticking out where it shouldn't be, but one exactly in the middle of the door to hold shit up, so i got the blunt side, i still have a teeny tiny scar on my right palm

i also have a tendency to punch things at work, which has on a few occasions left me going "wow, i'm really lucky i didn't just shatter my hand" and dealing with bruised knuckles


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## gunshow86de (Mar 4, 2009)

I got piss faced in my old dormitory one night, and decided to run down the outside hallway breaking ever single light bulb. This worked okay until I entered the inside hallway. I thought, "hey let's keep this going!" The only problem was, the inside lights are covered by thick glass domes. So when I went to break it, the glass sliced about 1 inch deep into my palm, near the base of my thumb. One of my roommates decides I just need to wash it off and hold a paper towel over it. He promptly leaves me by myself and goes to bed. 

My two other roommates get home about 2 hours later, and I ask them "you guys wanna see something cool?" They are both horrified and tell me we are going to the hospital now. 

In the mean time, I had called my ex to come over for a little booty call. So of course, we see her on the way out to the car and she tags along for the ride. 

I ended up with about 20 stitches, and I had to explain to my parents why our insurance was charged a medical bill at 3:30am. The funniest part is that I was so drunk, they didn't have to give me any pain meds to put in the stitches.


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## CrashRG (Mar 4, 2009)

E Lucevan Le Stelle said:


> I stacked it rather badly while skateboarding and broke my ankle... I've got pins in it now! \m/




you've pulled that one too I see. Ive got 9 screws and a plate in my right ankle. I fucked mine up dropping in on a halfpipe. board went one way, i went the other.

skateboarding is the same way that i tore my ACL and Meniscus 2 years prior to the ankle break, so 4 screws in my right knee.


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## FanghornFlorist (Mar 4, 2009)

shit, mine's pale in comparison to what i'm reading here, but it's a total GAS related idiotic injury. i had my huge analog keyboard leaning against the wall in the hallway, snug in it's soft shell case, with the shoulder strap just lolly gaggin in the middle of everything.

i'm rushing to get to work, and shuffle by it and get my right foot caught in it and go straight down, only my best hardshell guitar case is on the other side of the hall in front of the closest, and my left knee goes straight into the corner, and nearly splits it open. meanwhile, i still have to get to work, so i'm pretty shocked at the amount of pain and swelling, and don't get to the doctor until the next day, for something unrelated.

can't remember what he called it, but he thought it may have been enough of an impact to crack the patella, so i got an xray for the first time since i was in kindergarten...all ok, but still a nasty injury that has me hobbling on a cane for two weeks. turns out after the swelling went down there was still some tendon damage, and now, about six weeks later, it's feeling pretty good. which i'm grateful for, because i have a tendon injury on my foot from about 3 1/2 years ago i can still feel sensation from. but yea, very rockstar-like accident what with the keyboard and guitar case and all.


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## damigu (Mar 4, 2009)

when i was in grade school, we'd always play baseball in an open field between two apartment buildings in our complex.

one day i had the brilliant idea of playing with a basketball instead. so my friend "pitched" the basketball and i took a mighty swing.

the bat bounced off the ball and smacked me in the head. right in the temple. i saw stars. i got a concussion. i also got a massive, painful bruise.

i've damaged myself doing other stupid things, too, but that story is definitely the funniest of them.


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## JeremyJ (Mar 4, 2009)

The worst injury I've inflicted upon myself?

Intentionally...I had my nipples pierced. Really fucking stupid and painful. 

Accidentally...I fractured my tibia (shin) jumping and rolling down a dirt hill (on purpose) in the woods when I was eleven. I had to walk all the way back through the woods to the house with a crack in the bone that stretched almost the entire length of my shin and the worst sprained ankle I've ever had. That sucked.


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## wannabguitarist (Mar 4, 2009)

Back in September of last year I started getting wrist pains from guitar/gym stuff. I decided they would get better if I went to Chico got really drunk and feel down some stairs, I was wrong.

2nd degree burns from a soldering iron while putting pups in my RG7

Kickback from a table saw in woodshop, missed by crotch by about 4 inches and left a nice looking bruise. My hands were shaking for the 2 hours too.

I told my friend to punch me while drunk, awesome idea 



hmmm_de_hum said:


> Still trying to figure out how i actually did this one, basically in my athletics days i stood on my own wrist with running spikes comming out of the blocks (i practically left my hand at the line when i took off, epic stack). Pierced the main vein in my wrist....lots of blood and a trip to hospital for stitches and repair to my wrist and vein



I've actually seen someone do that when I ran track back in high school. Wasn't as bad as yours but it was still one of those "WTF? How'd you do that?" moments



bobbyretelle said:


> i broke my finger by shutting it in a car door



While I didn't hurt myself a bunch of my friends and I were really high back in high school and someone closed the door of my friend's 60's Chevy Impala on my hand. We all freaked out and thought it was cut off because I couldn't pull it out. Luckily the panel gaps on old America cars are huge so once we decided to open the door I was able to get free


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## Nick (Mar 4, 2009)

strained my achillies tendon reaching for a box of cereal.

phail


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## GazPots (Mar 4, 2009)

Now the burning question is, what sort of cereal was it?


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## ShadyDavey (Mar 4, 2009)

JeremyJ said:


> Intentionally...I had my nipples pierced. Really fucking stupid and painful.



I know so many people who said that and would tend to agree. 

Absolute agony and while a couple of ladies liked them, I took them out after a few years because I got so tired of getting them caught on clothing or whatever.


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## Nick (Mar 4, 2009)

GazPots said:


> Now the burning question is, what sort of cereal was it?



frosties OBV!

funnily enough thats the only injury that has ever made me miss a basketball game in the 14 years ive been playing...........


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## jymellis (Mar 4, 2009)

ok ill just give a couple.

i was 3, my mom was ironing clothes with an electric steam type iron. i saw on tom and jerri of you touch them they turn your hand red. i grabbed the entire FACE of the iron with my hand (my skin stayed on the iron). i had to have my hand bandaged up for months (before skin graphs where common practice).

i was 14. i was on my skateboard and hit a rock. i went off the front off the skayeboard really fast and caught my self with my hands on the concrete before i hit face first. well i jeard a pop and my left arm hurt really bad. i called my mom at work and she came home and took me to the hospitol. they did xrays and come to find out i fractured (cracked) both bones in my left arm (ulna,radius). the doc wrapped it in an ace bandage and a splint and told me to stay off my skateboard for 6weeks. the next day when i got home from school and my mom went to work i went out skating. i used to practice all of my ollie tricks (varials,kickflips,shove-its0 over a tennis net. well on my second pass i tried to clear the net and my back truck hung up. it all went in slow motion as i watched my just fractured arm headed straight for the court floor! yes it hit first!! i WATCHED my arm bend! it didnt pop (it already popped the day before) it just bent! i didnt tell my mom! I TO THIS DAY have a severly bent left arm ( snapped the cracked radius on 2 pieces)! ill get a pic up soon (this is 17 years later now)

last one i will mention
i was 28 and drunk. ran down a hill at our partment complex. at the bottom of the hill the gound instantly leveled out flat and there where stairs down the hill next to where i was running. when i got to the bottom where it was flat my innebriated brain wasnt ready to straighten my body out. so i was still leaning really far back (like running down a steep hill) when i reached the bottom. i went backwards like a stiif board being knocked down. i hit the back of my head on the corner of a concrete stair (im 6'3 so this was no short fall). my friends that where about 150 feet away heard my head hit the stair. long story short, i jumped up instantly, told my friends they where all pussies and i wasnt to leave me the fuck alone. one buddy said ,"dude your fucking bleeding out the back of your head and ears"! i said i know isnt it fucking metal and began headbanging, splattering my friends and wife with blood from my head and ears. i then refused medical treatment and partied the rest of the night with bllod leacking out of my ears and scalp.


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## Nick (Mar 4, 2009)

phail


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## Sang-Drax (Mar 4, 2009)

I bled my lips by punching myself in the face some 7 years ago. Now that's stupid.


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## jymellis (Mar 4, 2009)

i was 14. i was on my skateboard and hit a rock. i went off the front off the skayeboard really fast and caught my self with my hands on the concrete before i hit face first. well i jeard a pop and my left arm hurt really bad. i called my mom at work and she came home and took me to the hospitol. they did xrays and come to find out i fractured (cracked) both bones in my left arm (ulna,radius). the doc wrapped it in an ace bandage and a splint and told me to stay off my skateboard for 6weeks. the next day when i got home from school and my mom went to work i went out skating. i used to practice all of my ollie tricks (varials,kickflips,shove-its0 over a tennis net. well on my second pass i tried to clear the net and my back truck hung up. it all went in slow motion as i watched my just fractured arm headed straight for the court floor! yes it hit first!! i WATCHED my arm bend! it didnt pop (it already popped the day before) it just bent! i didnt tell my mom! I TO THIS DAY have a severly bent left arm ( snapped the cracked radius on 2 pieces)! ill get a pic up soon (this is 17 years later now)


heres my arm pics, just took these for the thread. also did i mention i did 90% of my own tats? doeas that count?


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## hufschmid (Mar 4, 2009)

lol sweet, a man which likes pain 

I'm about to have a new tatoo made also...


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## Cyanide_Anima (Mar 4, 2009)

jymellis: br00tul. it still looks broken! you're metal as fuck.


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## gatesofcarnage (Mar 4, 2009)

Two years ago i for no apparent reason jumped while with some friends came down and broke my knee. that was really fucking embarrsing.


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## jymellis (Mar 4, 2009)

hufschmid said:


> lol sweet, a man which likes pain
> 
> I'm about to have a new tatoo made also...



no dude! look at the angle of my radius! then read the story about 2 posts prior to the pics.


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## PeteyG (Mar 4, 2009)

The injury I'm currently still recovering is about the most moronic.

I go to music college, and on Thursdays we do this thing called Live Performance Workshop, and this particular Thursday we were being assessed. Me and Nolly were waiting backstage to go on after the group before us, and before they started one of the tutors said "Practice your power stances" in a joking way, so trying to be funny I decided to pull a massive lunge, lost my footing on my back (right) leg, and fell over backwards on my leg. The fall itself isn't too clear to me, but I must have bent my ankle over, taking all my weight (which there is a lot of) on it, dislocating it, and then as I continued falling, the lower half of my leg must have been flat on the floor, and then bent upwards as my body kept going over, snapping my Fibula (the little bone that is next to the big main one). I definitely remember my leg being under my back as I laid on the floor, and then immense pain as I pulled it out from under me.

Anyway, it didn't feel like anything had broken and there was no pain in my leg, just simply that I might have done some ligament damage, one of my tutors came and checked it out, and said it didn't feel or seem to serious, and then pushed for me to do the assessed performance anyway, which I did sat down.

Cue a week in hospital with 2 relocations of my ankle (they failed the first one) and an operation and some serious metal work that's now in my leg forever, and a screw holding the muscle stuffs in my ankle in place while it heals (which gets taken out a week tomorrow, YAY), and a badass scar and an awesome few days on morphine.




Awesome


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## jymellis (Mar 4, 2009)

Sang-Drax said:


> I bled my lips by punching myself in the face some 7 years ago. Now that's stupid.



sang-drax=gg.allin?


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## hufschmid (Mar 4, 2009)

jymellis said:


> no dude! look at the angle of my radius! then read the story about 2 posts prior to the pics.



Ouch indeed


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## AySay (Mar 4, 2009)

1.back when i live in the UK, my dad had a revolver back when i was 5-7. It was just for show, no bullets or anything. As we all know, little boys like guns, so i cocked the hammer and shot. Unfortunately the gun was in my lap, and the hammer took a chunk of my thigh out when it fired...

2.I tripped on a....pine cone (stupid canada... ) rollerblading, and my teeth went through my bottom lip and out the other end, and had to get stitches that hurt like shit... looks fine now though...


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## Groff (Mar 4, 2009)

I have scar tissue in both my upper lip and lower lip. In the 3rd grade I tripped on my backpack while walking with my eyes closed (being a smartass) and smacked my lower teeth through my lower lip...

Then in the 8th grade I was sledding on ice, it was one of those metal rail sleds... I hit a dry patch and smacked my top front teeth through my upper lip when I hit the metal and wood cross bar....


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## Ze Kink (Mar 4, 2009)

Jumped on a curb when drunk. Somehow I totally failed that and my right foot slipped and I landed on my ankle (which made it bend over 90 degrees as I fell). That was pretty ridiculous but goddamn it hurt, probably because I'd hurt it so goddamn many times before that while skateboarding and just generally failing with it. I'm pretty sure something's broken in the ankle because it gets painful easily and is sometimes hard to play drums with. I asked my mom to take me to an x-ray when that curb thing happened, but she said that "I'm sure it's just sprained, stop complaining". She's a doctor, but it wouldn't be the first time she's been wrong. Once she got pissed at me when I'd been sick for a week and didn't go to school so she accused me of lying and was pretty mad. I told her I'm not lying and that we should go to see a doctor and see if I'm lying or not. Luckily she accepted, because we went and it turned out that I had pneumonia. Nevertheless, that ankle thing happened after that but she still refused to take me to an x-ray.

Fell when snowboarding and lost my consicousness. I took too much speed so I flew over the landing area. Or that's what my friends told me, as I can't remember anything for about 5 minutes before the jump, or the jump itself. I just woke up and asked my friend if I was dreaming 

Hurt myself everywhere when I used to skateboard. My wrists are all crackly, the right one is worse and gets painful if I tense it, e.g. while playing drums. Luckily it doesn't affect guitar playing at all. The right ankle I already mentioned above. Funnily, for some reason, I've never ever hurt my left ankle, but the right probably almost 20 times 

Those are all I could think of right now, but I know there are more.


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## jymellis (Mar 4, 2009)

Ze Kink said:


> Funnily, for some reason, I've never ever hurt my left ankle, but the right probably almost 20 times
> .



do you skate regular foot (left first) or goofy foot (right first) or mongo foot ( left foot back while pushing and right (pushing foot) up front)?


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## Ze Kink (Mar 4, 2009)

jymellis said:


> do you skate regular foot (left first) or goofy foot (right first) or mongo foot ( left foot back while pushing and right (pushing foot) up front)?



I (used to) skate regular, so I suppose that's one reason why my left foot is completely alright.


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## synrgy (Mar 4, 2009)

Mine is not only recent, but guitar/gear related, and comes with photographic evidence!!

So a few months ago, I was on a toy buying binge. I had just purchased a Digitech Whammy pedal, and a Furman powered pedal board. I'd always wanted a pedal board..

So anyway, there I am in my living room excited as a 5 year old on Christmas morning as I'm cutting the adhesive velcro into strips to place on the bottom of each of my stomp boxes to attach them to the base of the pedal board. This is a good time to note that I was using a **brand new** pair of scissors, that was literally making its first ever cuts on the velcro.

So I got all my pedals taken care of, save the Whammy pedal which was last. I noticed as I was placing the velcro on the bottom of it, that it had these little rubber feet on it, that were just tall enough to prevent the velcro from making contact with the board surface. At that point, the mental process went something like this:

"These feet need to come off.. Hmm.. What's near by, and sharp.. A-ha! Scissors!!"

So I'm sitting there, on my living room couch, bent in half as I'm holding the pedal steady with my left (fret) hand and holding the scissors -- one blade style -- in my right hand, using the one blade in sort of a sawing motion in an attempt to coax the rubber feet off the bottom of the pedal. Saw, saw, saw, *slip*, SLICE*****

I drop the scissors, and immediately feel the warm blood gushing down around my left hand.

"oh shit.. OH SHIT!!"

I jumped up and ran to my kitchen sink, little drops of blood marking my path along the way. I started to run water over the wound.

"help... Uhm.. HELP?"

My room mates and a few house guests all came running into the kitchen simultaenously. One roommate grabbed a towel to start cleaning my blood up off the floor, and another asked me for my keys and went to start my car to take me to the ER.

A couple of hours later, my finger looked like this:






By some grace of God, I managed to *just* miss my knuckle or any major veins/arteries/nerves, so as soon as I was able to take the stupid band aids off my finger (they got in the way and/or pulled at the stitches), I was able to play guitar normally again. I would have felt like a retard for the rest of my life if I couldn't play guitar properly because I was too impatient while setting up my own gear. 

Moral of the story is: Don't let me use scissors, as I'm apparently not smart enough to use them safely.


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## RenegadeDave (Mar 4, 2009)

21st birthday. One of my buddies brings me a bottle of 151 and says lets take a shot, he's only got 1 shot glass. Having drank all day already I decide "Backdrafts" are inorder (light 151). He only had one shot glass so I go first. Lit on fire. Toss it back. Flaming liquid hits lips (no one told me to blow it out), turn my head out of instinct. Shake my head violently side to side trying to put it out, he grabs me and pours the coca cola he was going to use as a chaser on my head and I thank him. "Dude your ear is still on fire" . I dunked my head in the kiddie pool that happened to be next to me at the party. The next day, I go to the clinic, get some burn ointment and used it diligently. There is no scarring to this day, but I couldn't scrum for 2 weeks (I was big into rugby at the time, #4). There was a band playing at this party. The band stopped while this happened and said "Dude, that was the wildest thing we've ever seen while playing" then went back into song. 

Yeah, sometimes when you're cool, you spontaneously combust into a fireball of awesomeness. 

But I wager I'm not the only one here who's had this happen.


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## Origins (Mar 4, 2009)

When I was like 10 years old, I was going down a hill with my bike, having a challenge with my brother. I took a shortcut in the grass, the back wheel burst on a gully hole and then "black hole"..
I came back to life while I was already screaming that it hurts (I have no idea why, ´cause I couldn´t feel a thing).
Then I saw some blurry people over me, saying that it´s going to be ok.
I got to the hospital, throwing up my blood. They had to put a tube in my noise for few hours, to get the blood that went in my stomach.
Then I got informed by my mother that I hit a small wall with some wire netting on the top. While falling backward, I broke my skull on a piece of rock. 
There was a big wall few meter next, I don´t even image if I would have hit this one..
I´m quite lucky to be alive


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## Tiger (Mar 4, 2009)

When I was a teen racing downhill on a mountain bike in a desert environment. Went off course for a split second, went airborne and landed in the very middle of a giant briar patch. It was every bit as awful an ordeal as it sounds. It took my brother almost an hour to extricate me. 

I looked like crucifixion jesus.


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## Triple-J (Mar 4, 2009)

I was riding my bike in a park going downhill and my dog was running alongside and out of nowhere she jumped up knocked me flying further down the hill and off into a tree, I got up covered in mud and leaves with very blurry vision my elbow hurt like hell as I'd grazed it all the way from my wrist to my joint were there was this huge patch of skin that had been gouged out.

So I went home wiped my arm down with a cloth then covered the wound up with a dressing thinking I'd be ok and after around two weeks of wearing the dressing I figured I'd change it so I took it off and oh my god it was rank! 
Turns out I didn't clean my wound properly and where the deeper part of the wound was now had this huge squishy slime green ooze in it's place. 
Have you ever seen that movie "The Fly" when the creature vomits on people and their skin melts?..........Well it looked a lot like that! 

So I ended up going for a tetanus jab which I was worried about cause I have a fear of needles which in the past has resulted in me acting very unpredictable. 
I was cool about having the jab until suddenly I could feel the needle moving inside my arm! 
At that point I started to giggle a little bit then I flipped out and pushed the nurse away from me picked up a chair and began waving it about while I still had the needle hanging out my arm, while I was doing all of this I was in the most crazy hysteria for some reason and I couldn't stop laughing!

Eventually the poor nurse got out the room and my mother was called and they had to drag me out of the surgery while I was laughing my fucking head off like the Joker I then got home and spent the rest of the day sat up in bed laughing endlessly and rocking back and forth like I belonged in Arkham Asylum!

I now have this odd looking scar on my right elbow that looks like I scooped out some of my arm with a spoon, so yeah the moral of my story is don't go riding your bike with your dog and always wash your wounds properly.


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## AngelVivaldi (Mar 4, 2009)

- ive pinched my balls in a drawer in the kitchen... (i guess god DOES have a sense of humor)
- first time i played guitar with my teeth the e string went up into my gums. I pretty much went into cardiac arrest after that one


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## Vairocarnal (Mar 4, 2009)

Does being your own piercer count? I've given myself 200+ piercing in the last ten years and I've still got 21 of 'em.


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## Thin_Ice_77 (Mar 5, 2009)

Oh, are we posting pictures?







*waits for barrage of abuse*


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## damigu (Mar 5, 2009)

it's picture time?

i did this to myself last year and it felt great. 
(this pic is after the bleeding stopped and i cleaned it up)

i was re-organizing my rack and had a 1U rack shelf on the floor. with the lights off, i stepped right into one of its sharp corners.
i knew i had sharp metal on the floor and i was STILL walking around in the dark. 

it took well over a month to heal because it kept re-opening just from walking. any deeper and i would have needed stitches, so i guess i lucked out there.

still, it was pretty stupid.


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## Wi77iam (Mar 5, 2009)

i was about 5, my brother was chasing me and i looked back to see where he was, then i turned around and WHAM! i bust my eyebrow open on the metal pole of a hills hoist. 
when i was 10, I was playing soccer barefooted on concrete, took a shot and kicked the floor  about 5 stitches on that.
15 - dislocated my left shoulder playing keeper.. then I took a week off, played the next week and dislocated it once more.. I played about 3/4 of the season and dislocated it about 8 times or so 

oh and one more, I was swinging a guitar around in music class and my mate "walked" into my path and smacked him in the eyebrow and he got about 4 stitches


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## rvoteary (Mar 5, 2009)

Beer + Fire = PAIN


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## auxioluck (Mar 5, 2009)

Lit a bonfire with gasoline a few months ago. Funny thing is that I've done it a hundred times. For some reason, this time I got engulfed in flames. Took about 2 months for my eyebrows to look completely normal again...lost 1/2 an inch off my goatee...and about 1/8 of an inch off my front hairline.


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## ibznorange (Mar 5, 2009)

i reached under a cement tamper for a soda can once and crushed my fucking hand


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## auxioluck (Mar 5, 2009)

ibznorange said:


> i reached under a cement tamper for a soda can once and crushed my fucking hand



 /endthread


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## Carrion (Mar 5, 2009)

Drunken circumcision.


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## reptillion (Mar 5, 2009)

Carrion said:


> Drunken circumcision.



Did your friends talk you into a bris?


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## Vairocarnal (Mar 5, 2009)

Carrion said:


> Drunken circumcision.



and people say I hate my penis...my GAWD!


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## damigu (Mar 5, 2009)

Carrion said:


> Drunken circumcision.



if this thread were a contest, then you sir have just won it.


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## ILdÐÆMcº³ (Mar 6, 2009)

Slit my wrist while trying to learn wood carving. It wasn't bad but it left a scar and in an unfortunate place lol. People probably think I tried to off myself, but no I stabbed myself while trying to make a wooden gnome with an erection...


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## MFB (Mar 6, 2009)

I did almost the same thing, except instead of slitting my wrist I stabbed myself pretty deep right at the base of my index finger

A few days ago while cutting a box the knife also slipped out and cut the same index finger (on my fretting hand  ) about an 1/8 - 1/4" deep at the very last joint so I haven't been able to play this week


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## ILdÐÆMcº³ (Mar 6, 2009)

That sucks, I hope it heals up fast. I think we both have learned to cut away from ones self the hard way.


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## MFB (Mar 6, 2009)

The part on the joint itself has healed so I can bend it with only mild pain but it sucked not being able to do a basic power chord, I felt so helpless


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## poopyalligator (Mar 8, 2009)

One time I was putting some christmas decorations on my balcony (living with my parents at the time), and i tripped on a fucking cord and fell off my balcony. Next thing I knew i was in a car being driven to the hospital. Luckily nothing really bad happened to me other than a few bruises and small cuts. Not to shabby from falling off of balcony.


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## Se7enMeister (Mar 8, 2009)

I've crashed while skiing ~60 mph, slid about 75 yards in to a berm, no injuries
I got a concussion from barefoot skiing, went face first in to the water at 39 mph, along with two black eyes and a bloody nose (the thing was my girlfriend took harder falls and NEVER got hurt)
I have no real teeth, I was in a car accident when I was 12, I went into a coma for 3 days, the dashboard lifted up and took out all my teeth (in a volvo non the less). Right now my teeth are titanium with a polymer coating (basically non stick) attached to a steel plate drilled into my jaw, good thing I dont remember any of it. But opening bottles and biting through soda cans with my clinical trial teeth is fun

Last summer I fell into a pool and hit my knee on the side of the deck, got some nerve damage and cant fell and thing below my left knee. Which drive me to wild bets, like last week I stapled a test I took to my leg, $20

Also last summer I was mountian biking and took a really hard hit head on in to a tree, flew probably 25 feet on to a hill, got up no problems. Except the fact that I had a half inch diameter diameter stick stabbed in to my side. Crazy thing was I didnt feel a thing. Went to the hospital and it went 2 inches deep but missed and thing vital, was out of the hospital 3 hours later and back on the trails

too many cuts and scrapes from bmxing

I really am not supposed to do anything dangerous since it might endanger me from getting a swimming scholorship  I like to live my life to the fullest and I always try new extreme sports, starting motor bike racing this summer


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## All_¥our_Bass (Mar 8, 2009)

I grabbed a hot soldering iron in an electronics class, we have just gotten everything out and oen of my buds kindly plugged it in for me. Not realising this, I picked it up.

A.) It hurt
B.) I had a burn mark on my finger for a week

On separate ocassions I slammed both of my thumbs (from about where the thumbnail starts) in the car door.


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## poopyalligator (Mar 8, 2009)

All_¥our_Bass;1410908 said:


> On separate ocassions I slammed both of my thumbs (from about where the thumbnail starts) in the car door.



dude that hurts so bad. I got my fingers stuck in a car door once and it was easily one of the worst pains I have encountered in my life. I have broken my nose and my wrist in three places and that didnt hurt nearly as bad as getting my fingers caught in a car door. The other worst pain I have encountered in my life was dropping a can of pumpkin pie mix from the top shelf on one of my toes (it sounds dumb, but it was literally the worst pain in my entire life). I ended up with a broken toe after that.


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## E Lucevan Le Stelle (Mar 8, 2009)

Se7enMeister said:


> I
> I have no real teeth, I was in a car accident when I was 12, I went into a coma for 3 days, the dashboard lifted up and took out all my teeth (in a volvo non the less). Right now my teeth are titanium with a polymer coating (basically non stick) attached to a steel plate drilled into my jaw, good thing I dont remember any of it. But opening bottles and biting through soda cans with my clinical trial teeth is fun



Oh my god... 
  

Titanium teeth... you're basically Jaws from the James Bond films, but in real life! That's possibly the most metal thing I've ever heard...


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## Se7enMeister (Mar 8, 2009)

E Lucevan Le Stelle said:


> Oh my god...
> 
> 
> Titanium teeth... you're basically Jaws from the James Bond films, but in real life! That's possibly the most metal thing I've ever heard...



people always wonder why I have perfectly white teeth good thing they look like normal teeth


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## E Lucevan Le Stelle (Mar 8, 2009)

Se7enMeister said:


> people always wonder why I have perfectly white teeth good thing they look like normal teeth



Lol, you should just go all the way and get the sharpened stainless steel ones...


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## Jem7RB (Mar 8, 2009)

(1) DH Mtb'ing, broke my leg at Fort William test riding a new bike, adrenaline was pumping hard and i tried twice to remount the bike then i had this odd wave feeling and passed out.
(2) DH again, broke both wrist's and a few fingers when a tree jumped in front of me, i was airbourne and watched as my fingers/hands and wrists stopped my face getting badly fucked.
(3) DH (there's a pattern here) My face protected me from man made jump, good ole face, dislocated jaw.

Many skateboarding injuries too, however my worse was ACL and Hamstring tears playing football 9 years ago, 5 operations and 16 painkillers a day later, i am no better off, and yea, i have my grumpy days.

Rob


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## Ancestor (Mar 10, 2009)

One time I was trying to bounce a superball really high, so I wailed the superball onto the pavement at which point it bounced at lightening speed back into my nuts.


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## Jem7RB (Mar 10, 2009)

Ancestor said:


> One time I was trying to bounce a superball really high, so I wailed the superball onto the pavement at which point it bounced at lightening speed back into my nuts.



Rofl  

Rob


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## Hypothermia (Mar 11, 2009)

Ancestor said:


> One time I was trying to bounce a superball really high, so I wailed the superball onto the pavement at which point it bounced at lightening speed back into my nuts.


 ahahaha that's the funniest thing i've heared all day


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## ballr4lyf (Mar 11, 2009)

I threw out my back trying to catch a hot pocket falling out of the freezer. It just finally feels healed as of yesterday. Then, last night, I broke my toe running to get the headset for my xbox. First bone I've ever broken. Yeah, it hurts like a mofo.


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## Variant (Mar 11, 2009)

Cutting up habaneros for my Jerk without gloves... then putting in a contact lens. Not recommended.


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## Blind Faith (Mar 11, 2009)

When I was about 4 the oven-grill was on and it was on full heat so I thought OMG! BRIGHT COLOURS! must have! bad choice  my hand got stuck to it and my mum had to come and remove it from the heater things (forgot there name)

When I was 4 again I was in the car and pushed the cigarette lighter in so it turned on, it then poped out so I took it out and seen it was brightly coloured again so I put my finger on it, again my finger got stuck to it and it melted my skin to it. My hand had to be put in a bowl of ice and water to get it off.
I think there is a connection.

Not really about me but I thought it was funny when told it.
My Mum was making a pizza and was chopping things up for the topping, the knife slipped and cut her finger off almost clean off. So she started to cry and run around in pain, I came through and told her to shut up because I was watching batman and I couldn't hear it (I was only 5 at the time) She managed to get ahold of our neighbour to take her to hospital so they could reattach it.


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## Necky379 (Mar 11, 2009)

i was filling a battery at work and ended up getting battery acid in my eye

tried to see if it was possible to set my leg on fire by spraying it with carb clean and running a trail of it to the bonfire i was at

broken leg dropping in on a half pipe in 8th grade, never skated again just because it wasnt fun anymore, shortly after when i got the cats off i jumped off a staircase (no board involved) and reinjured it

knocked myself out, probably concussed my brain trying to backflip my dirtbike, this summer i have to try again


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## Cyanide Assassin (Feb 4, 2010)

well when i was about 6 or 7 i was running up the slide at the playground of my church but there was this bigger kid in front of me (chapperone if you will he was like 17 years old) i was close behind hoim and he kicked me in under my chin on accident and i bit my tongue off. got 7 stitches and had to eat jello and pudding for 2 months straight. 
2nd one, i was playing baseball in the streets with my brothers and friends when i was 12 and somehow i slid into first place but across some gravel and small debris like rocks and shards of glass left by the street cleaner and cut my left hand open pretty well on my palm. got 6 stitches.
3rd, i was fighting with my brothers and the oldest had the middle brother in a headlock and i went to punch him and he went to punch me, we connected fists in mid air and i broke my ring and pinky meta carpal bones. now i have no ring finger knuckle because its like recessed kinda. had to sit and wait about 4 hours for the parents to get home and take me to the er where they set it and put a cast on for about 3 months.
4th, i was fishing with a friend and walked behind as he was casting and got a fish hook caught in my face just under my left eye. went to the doctor and all they used to take it out were some pliers. got 6 shots in the face to numb face.
5th, was reallllly stupid from doing illegal actions with some of my old friends when i was like 17 and shot a pencil out of a slingshot and it went straight into my left hand about4 or 5 inches deep and tore some of the skin.
just to humor those who have read this whole thing my fiance had walked into a stop sign about 4 or 5 years ago and still have a scar and it hurts to press on the scar. i kinda find it funny. shes also cut her hand trying to eat an apple with a fork.....dont ask why or how...


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## D-EJ915 (Feb 4, 2010)

I got a huge-ass cut on my finger before from the floppy drive on a rackmount server  stupid thin ass metal


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## MFB (Feb 4, 2010)

I was carving a wooden car for a Cub Scout thing and knife slipped and went straight through my index finger

Aside from that...probably slipping on black ice

Edit : this is a bump


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## Fionn (Feb 5, 2010)

me and two friends filled the sink in my bathroom with lighter fluid (we were young and going through the pyro stage ), as we lit it one of my mates shut the bathroom door, which in turn created a backdraft up the plug hole casuing the flame to engulf me and the other friend!!! i had a pretty sore face for a while, it was pretty brief (but massive) flame so we didn't get burnt properly, just a little singed


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## BigBaldIan (Feb 5, 2010)

In one of my student digs we had open fires upstairs. I waited for all the embers to go out (or so I thought) built the fire up again with kindling etc and was splashing on my accelerant of choice (industrial meths). Just of wind comes down the chimney, hits ember and the flash-fire travels up the meths to the bottle and within half a second the right hand side of my body is completely on fire.

Dropped the bottle, closed my eyes and nutted the first thing that came to hand which was the duvet to put my face out. Meanwhile my other half is frantically trying to put out the secondary fires. Legged it to the bathroom, doused my head then looked in mirror and the skin on the right hand side of my face is bubbling like molten cheese. Put me off smoky bacon crisps for a good while.

Did I mention that this happened on November 5th, had fun explaining that one to A&E.


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## canuck brian (Feb 5, 2010)

During a paintball tournament (when they used hyperball tubes - the hard ones) I tried to bunker a guy but i wasn't looking directly ahead of me. 

Planted my foot right against the wall and folded my toes to my shin when my left leg didn't clear a bunker. Shattered talus bone.


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## Bloody_Inferno (Feb 5, 2010)

Lockjaw from laughing so hard watching Baseketball for the first time. 

Thankfully nothing serious yet....


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## synrgy (Feb 5, 2010)

When I was about 15, my friends and I were at a rope swing on a creek in the woods one summer afternoon.

I swung out on the rope and let go to land in the creek. I'd done it a bajillion times before, no problems.

This time, on my way out of the water I stepped on something that kinda punctured my heel. I got out of the water to investigate. It hurt, but it wasn't really bleeding and I couldn't see anything in it, so I figured it was fine.

About 5 minutes later, my friend shouts out "DUDE, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR FOOT?!?!"

I look down at my foot, which is now completely covered in fresh blood, thinned out a bit by the overall dampness of my foot.

"I don't know" I said, then investigated.

To this day I have no idea how I did it, but the 'web' between my 'pointer' toe and 'middle' toe was completely split. I've never talked to anyone else who's managed to do that.

The best part was, once I made the discovery, my friend looks at the split web inbetween my toes and says "DUDE, YOUR TOES LOOK LIKE A CUNT!!!" 

I wrapped one of my socks around the foot and rode my bike all the way home, at least 5 miles away. My step-dad didn't get home until about 9 hours later, at which point we went to the ER. The first part of this whole process that actually hurt was when they injected novacaine between my toes so they could clean them with sharp metal things.


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## Winspear (Feb 5, 2010)

A little story of my first and only 'mind over matter' experience 

About 3 years ago now I first got into prog, and Symphony X's "The Odyssey" (song) was the most amazing thing I had ever heard. I still love it! Anyway, this song used to put me into a totally different world. I think it's the only song that's ever made me feel so epic 

One day I decided to start working out my legs which I had been neglecting, so I thought I'd put this song on and do some calf raises (standing to tip toe and back down). This was the first time I ever tried this, so I had no idea how hard it was meant to be and how much I could expect to do...

I did the whole 24:09 of the song 

Fuck knows how. I don't know how good or whatever that really is, but several fairly fit friends tried it with me a few months later and none of us could get past 4 minutes. 2-4 minutes totally kills me now.

At the end of that workout I knew I'd done well  I didn't feel like I'd gone too far, just that I'd had a very good workout. I woke up the next morning and literally fell out of bed. It became pretty evident that I had torn both my calfs. I could barely walk for over a month 

I'm absolutely certain that wouldn't have happened without The Odyssey, and this is why I now believe in mind over matter


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## TomParenteau (Feb 5, 2010)

Installing a spring on a strat-type vibrato or Floyd, a large pair of needlenose pliers slipped off. They hit me right between the eyes & blood squirted onto the back of the guitar.

I still have the scar.


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## Espaul (Feb 5, 2010)

I tried to do (not fully) backflip thingy on the trampoline and land on my back. I ended up landing on my neck, and while I was trying to dampen the fall with my arms the middle finger on my right arm got placed in a weird position. It got sprained and now it's chronically sprained for the rest of my life 
(a bit pleonasm at the end there, sorry bout that)


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## ShadyDavey (Feb 5, 2010)

shotgunn said:


> What is the stupidest injury you've inflicted on yourself?



Marriage.

If I had my time again I'd just chop mah nuts off, throw a bunch of cash away and go quietly mad immediately upon meeting her to save time


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## Scar Symmetry (Feb 5, 2010)

ShadyDavey said:


> Marriage.
> 
> If I had my time again I'd just chop mah nuts off, throw a bunch of cash away and go quietly mad immediately upon meeting her to save time



You know, I think it's a shame some people only get one shot at marriage. For those that it doesn't work out for, it could be the other person/the wrong chemistry and they could have a great marriage with someone else, but if you're left with the bitter aftertaste of divorce/the mental damage a divorce can bring, some people never get round to remarrying and I think that's a shame


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## vhmetalx (Feb 5, 2010)

Carrion said:


> Drunken circumcision.


 how the hell does one succeed in doing this? scissors or something?


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## Esp Griffyn (Feb 5, 2010)

I've had a few daft injuries...

1) Sitting in art class, I had already explained to the teacher (being the flippant and precocial 13 year old that I was) that being told what to paint or sculpt to meet the requirements of a curriculum was not "artistic" in the slightest, and was therefore not doing any work. Whittling away the boredom, I was scraping two craft knives together blade to blade, absent mindedly, until they slipped and one blade whittled away my thumb, creating a huge gash. It didn't strike me until seconds after blood start pissing everywhere that what I had been doing was bound to end in disaster. I'm amazed I didn't have to get it stitched, I'm sure if I'd gone to A&E they would have sewn it up, but I just sterilised it and dressed it and it healed eventually.

2) First day on the job, working at a big hotel, someone hands me two identical pots and says "Heres some tea and some coffee, go out and serve it". I didn't know which was which, the pots being visually the same. I then put them down, lifted the lid on one, put my nose a few cms about the steaming hot liquid and inhaled hard, hoping to smell what it was. The steam burned the insides of my nose, which extended into my nasal cavity. I'm amazed I can still smell anything these days. Thankfully after blinding pain for several minutes, it went numb, and then became the drippiest, runniest nose ever for a few days as the burns healed.


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## Scar Symmetry (Feb 5, 2010)

Stupidest is either deliberately soldering my arm when I was 13 in IT or punching through a double glazed (and frosted AND wired) window when I was 14, leaving my right hand fucked and unable to play guitar for 2 months.

Such is youth.


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## TruthDose (Feb 5, 2010)

I broke my left hand around 3 or 4, running down a flight of stairs, because I was afriad of the dark up there. I woke my mother up one morning with a thumping sound, I had pulled off my cast and had some dislike for it so I was hitting it against the wall.
This happened twice. Third cast went all they way up past my elbow, and I couldn't get that one off


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## ShadyDavey (Feb 5, 2010)

Scar Symmetry said:


> You know, I think it's a shame some people only get one shot at marriage. For those that it doesn't work out for, it could be the other person/the wrong chemistry and they could have a great marriage with someone else, but if you're left with the bitter aftertaste of divorce/the mental damage a divorce can bring, some people never get round to remarrying and I think that's a shame





Absolutely, although I'll leave it at that because the pros/cons and woes of marriage deserve a seperate thread. 

The worst actual real injury was this horrendous ankle sprain I got by sticking my foot in an unseen hole whilst running like a loon at school. I was in plaster for 6 weeks and even with rehab it's never really been 100%.


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## SerratedSkies (Feb 5, 2010)

I snapped my foot completely in half during a Lamb of God set at Gigantour a few years back. I don't even fucking like Lamb of God, but Opeth played, and Opeth is the best band ever. EVER. 

Luckily, I work in an Orthopaedic hospital, so I had an excuse to sit a room for 2 hours doing nothing but physical therapy for a few weeks, but I got paid for it!


BTW, yes. It was fucking grose. Air Force 1's don't necessarily prevent your foot from remaining at a 90 degree angle.


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## lateralus819 (Feb 5, 2010)

Wow, I've got a bunch....sorry for the long post. 

In December of 07 i was working on my car and it was frequently giving me problems and i was sick of it by then, so i got pissed off, stepped back a few feet gave my fist all the power i could and fuckin drove the fender HARD. Instantly snapped my ring/pinky metacarpals. I for some reason, didn't feel a damn thing, the only reason i knew they were broke was the bones were pushing on the skin quite a bit. 

Needless to say i had to have 3 casts, a like gypsum type one which didn't work, a fiberglass which didn't work and another fiberglass which didn't work, that was 3 weeks of bullshitting around waiting to see if it would heal. I ended up having to get surgery.

It nearly cost me $10,000 for that stupid mistake, thankfully i qualified for %100 discount cause of my income. Heres a pic






When i was way younger i was (cant remember why) riding my bike trying to flee my brother, and i happened to turn around to see where he was and when i looked forward my eye socket met the corner of a flat bed/ramp truck and knocked me flat on my ass. 

Was driving passed my house and noticed my dad was home and i was all excited so i asked my mom to let me out, well i jumped out a little to soon, and the tire ran over my foot. Not completely but my foot was stuck there and i shouted "THE FOOTS ON MY TIRE THE FOOTS ON MY TIRE!!!!" lmao Splintered the bone in quite a few spots. 

Riding my bike in the rain over a bridge, and they had a plywood walkway for pedestrians (the bridge was closed, was built in like 1800s) and i thought it would be cool to lock up the back breaks and skid side ways.Well it was cool, till i fell and my pinky went into a whole in the grate and bent sideways. It hurt a lot, lmao. 

These aren't self inflicted but they're funny....

I was helping my brother doing something in the shed and hes the type of person who EXPECTS you to know what he wants. well he bitched at me for not giving him his crescent wrench. So I took off and went to the porch, about 20 feet away. Grabbed his C-wrench and chucked it at the shed, he just so happened to walk out at this time and BAM c-wrench to the forehead!  he had a huge laceration in the shape of a C. Funny part is, he got home with McDonald's for me

I was at a job site with my dad and brother in a huge dome shaped ditch, my brother thought it would be cool to throw a 4x4 at my head. Cut me BAD. Huge slice on my forehead.


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## Demiurge (Feb 6, 2010)

Blew out my knee playing goddamned kickball... at a company picnic... not even in playing-action but jogging from outfield after the other team got out... didn't see the hole in the ground, planted my foot and my knee bent the wrong way. Then I was next to bat and grounded-out (barely). It was only after that, when my knee was the size of a grapefruit that it worse than just a tweak.


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## Joker962 (Feb 8, 2010)

...running into a one of those glass window things that look like theres nothing there.


I broke my nose and cracked the window.


I had to pay for both the medical bill AND the window.

Can anyone say double whammy?

oh and I also put my hand on one of those really hot furnace things...


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## MF_Kitten (Feb 8, 2010)

jumped down a whole flight of stairs and missed the single soft thing down there, which was what i was aiming to HIT.

broke some cartilage between the knuckles in my foot, since i was a kid and the bones hadn´t merged yet. lucky really, because it just fixed itself.

other than that, i´ve only had shit inflicted onto me by others, or by sheer misfortune.


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## Harry (Feb 8, 2010)

This one is partly upon myself.
Last Friday I threw my baseball cap at some chick at my friend's house, and the hard peak bit hit her in the head.
So she came up to me, pissed off and her fist went into my face, just below my right eye.
Luckily, she was some fat, totally unfit girl so it wasn't too bad of an injury.
I can still feel the lump under my eye too


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## IDLE (Feb 8, 2010)

I was cutting something in the nude with some old scissors, the old really heavy sharp kind, and I dropped them on to the tip of my penis. Got a nasty gash that got infected and I had to be on antibiotics for quite a while. I learnt my lesson, never hold sharp things over your genitals.


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## BrainArt (Feb 8, 2010)

Hmmm, where do I begin?  


I was around 4 or 5, and my mom and I had gone out for ice cream; as my mom was getting the ice cream I was sitting at the table and decided to stand up on my chair and jump off. I hit the floor, my head hitting and cracking the tile; I was fine, but just a little shaken up. The guy behind the counter gave me an ice pack, and my mom our ice cream for free so she wouldn't sue them for my own stupidity.

I was around 14 I want to say, I was opening a toy for my little sister that she just got, and my knives are all *very very very* sharp, and I'm right handed. I decided it would be best for me to use my left hand instead, slipped and stabbed myself in the right hand right in the webbing in between my thumb and index finger. I didn't go to the hospital, but my mom put a butterfly clip on the wound as well as a gauze bandage.

This is a fairly recent injury from last year. I was out mowing the lawn, and our lawn mower wouldn't start up properly, so I went to check and see if the spark plug came loose; nope, all good. Next on my check list? Priming the motor, so I took one of my yardwork gloves off and primed the motor, my left ring finger touched a part of the motor (it was REALLY HOT), and it took me about 10 minutes before I went inside and ran my finger under cold water and bandaged it up with some aloe vera lotion. I couldn't play guitar for about two weeks, unless if I only used 2 or 3 fingers. 


I've done other stupid shit, and have some stupid shit done to me by other people, but there's too much to remember.


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## signalgrey (Feb 8, 2010)

attempted to be a skater for an afternoon ended up breaking the radial head (elbow basically) in my left arm. The doctor said that is one of the hardest bones to break due to the fact that its a ball....yet...through my skin i can still feel the cracks.


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## vontetzianos (Feb 8, 2010)

happened yesterday, i was shaving, and i put the razour on this small rack next to my mirror. It slipped, fell, and sliced my small toe. It took me 2 hours to stop the bleeding.


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## Varcolac (Feb 8, 2010)

Got the fingers of my right hand shut in a door when I was five years old. Broken. Broke both my thumbs racing a supermarket trolley around a car park back when I was 16. Fun times. It's amazing that I can still play instruments at all after all the danger I've put my hands through.


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## loktide (Feb 8, 2010)

i once rammed a broken off glass pasteur pipette under my left thumbnail about 2-3cm deep while working in a tissue culture hood. most of the glass shards remained in my finger so i had to get surgery. two fucking times! after the second surgery they still couldn't remove all the shards (which actually grew out along with my thumbnail in the next months!). good luck for me the pipette was sterilized for working in the tissue culture hood.

i think that's definitely the most stupid and painful injury i've afflicted to myself


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## anthonyferguson (Mar 28, 2010)

I once decided it'd be a good idea to solo (posh name for climbing with no ropes) to retrieve a piece of gear (protection placed in rock to stop you hitting the ground when you fall while lead climbing-that's with the rope going below you not from above) 
anyway it was raining and I really shouldn't have but I thought it'd be alright. I slipped and fell 6 meters and hit quite alot of stuff on the way down, very nearly breaking my back and hitting the floor, knocking myself unconscious for a good minute. my friend thought I was dead as my head was bleeding like fuck, but being the most epicly calm and sensible person ever kept his cool and attempted to stop the bleeding whilst calling an ambulance (bear in mind we're on the top of a hill at a deserted crag in the middle of the north york moors a 45 minute walk away from the nearest road) so it was air ambulance territory. unfortunately the weather was taking a turn for the worse and i felt really shit and incredibly cold-it was snowing by this point, only wearing a windbreaker and soaked jeans! the helicopter failed to see us having passed 2 or 3 times but finally spotted us. I can't really remember much else apart from my mate's parents arriving apparently an hour and a half later, his mum being a GP. i felt a bit better now even though I'd lost a fairly large chunk of blood and assorted flesh, and decided i'd be 'core and not go in the helicopter because I'd chunder if I did and you have to stay in hospital if you do after a headwound. Anyway I went for the most amazing slash in the world, and decided to walk down the hill while concussed and still bleeding, went back to my mate's house and had a massive shower which I fell asleep in. I then went home with my mum and came back to hospital later when it started bleeding again, and I got some stitches because my skull was exposed. METAL.
After that I went on holiday and was concussed for the whole lot. 

that was pretty daft.


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## vampiregenocide (Mar 28, 2010)

IDLE said:


> I was cutting something in the nude with some old scissors, the old really heavy sharp kind, and I dropped them on to the tip of my penis. Got a nasty gash that got infected and I had to be on antibiotics for quite a while. I learnt my lesson, never hold sharp things over your genitals.


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## vampiregenocide (Mar 28, 2010)

Thin_Ice_77 said:


> Oh, are we posting pictures?
> 
> 
> 
> ...


 

*sympathetic facepalm*  I hope you don't do this now.


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## budda (Mar 28, 2010)

Stupidest injury?

I lightly grazed my nose with a knife after slicing some cheese last week. I didn't really bleed, I didn't really feel the cut just the pressure of the knife, and the blood line that was there is now more or less gone I think. It wasn't painful, it wasn't big, but it sure as hell fits the criteria for this thread


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## Murmel (Mar 28, 2010)

2 weeks ago, I attempted a big jump with my skies. I am experienced with just straight downhill skiing and I CAN land a small jump, but it's never been my thing.

So this day I was like, fuck it, I might aswell try it.
So I went for it, I came in so fast that I missed the landing. But even with less speed I wouldn't have made it, right when I hit the jump I leaned to much backwards and I landed on my left buttcheek so I almost broke my hip. I was paralyzed by the shock for like 10 seconds.
My buddy thought I was dead, lol...

But anyways, I managed to ski my way down the rest of the hill, and I could walk perfectly fine the next day.
My mom wasn't too happy because I didn't wear a helmet.

Oh yeah, and that time I fell with my moped...
I was riding wit about 4 other buddies to my friends house. We went up his driveway and where about to park our mopeds on the lawn, I was gonna go between 2 trees and park it there. I see my buddy who is in front of me turn away from the trees. I'm like "wtf?" but I keep going. And a second later, I spot a fucking inch thick wire going between the two trees. So I slam my brakes, loose my grip and get my entire moped over me and the footpeg thingy (You know, what you rest your foot on when you ride dirtbike type motorbikes).

Anyway, that thing went straight into my leg. I got up and was screaming like a mad man at my buddy for no reason lol, I wasn't really in pain. I didn't even notice the wound until they commented on blood running down my leg.

So I spent that last summer being blue/green/purple over my entire left leg, people where looking kinda funny at me for some reason  I still have a nice big scar there aswell.


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## Chickenhawk (Mar 30, 2010)

So, I was in Iraq. Sitting in my room (well, sardine can thingy). I just bought a new knife, and was really proud of it. 

I decided it was a GREAT idea to open it really quick, and try to stab the chair I was sitting it. I COMPLETELY missed (by...feet). And stabbed my knee. My BAD knee, with torn cartlidge (sp?).






Guess it could have been worse, but I NEVER carried that knife ANYWHERE. Still have it though.


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## AySay (Mar 30, 2010)

^ 
That's crazy man! 


I bought a pack of those blue DR strings, and i was putting them on my Ibby JPM to make it even more awesomely colorful. As everyone knows, changing strings on a Floyd takes a long time. Right when I got to the last string, I got impatient and was pulling on it when my hand slipped, and the adjacent string pierced into my index finger (of my fretting hand ) The thing was BAD. I mean, when I sqeezed my finger, blood squirted like 6 inches all over the floor/guitar/me...

The NEXT FUCKING DAY, the RGA8 i was waiting for for a month comes in.

I could barely play it...still barely can...


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## BrailleDecibel (Apr 1, 2010)

Once, when I was 11, I was swimming with my family when I found a glass bottle near the water. Being the young retard I was, I thought it would be cool to break the bottle with a rock underwater to see what all the glass flying in slow-mo would look like. I brought the rock down on the bottle, and a piece of it shot directly into my right thumb, slicing the shit out of it. 

I bled like a stuck pig all the way to the hospital, and had to get 5 stitches in my thumb. Mind you, this was about a year after I started playing guitar, and I could barely hold a pick until the wound healed and I got the stitches taken out.

That same summer, I decided to swing on a rope swing that I had no business being on, and needless to say, it snapped. I went flying backwards and landed on my right arm, breaking it, dislocating my hand from my wrist, and cracking my growth cup. Now my right hand is slightly smaller than my left hand. What can I say, I was a dumbass at 11 years old.


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## Jeggs (Apr 5, 2010)

I don't know the english name for it, so I'll post a pic :





When I was around 12 years old, I got challenged to put out one of those with my hands...which I did. For those who don't know what it is, its a stick with blackpowder/gunpowder(ish) stuff on it, which ofc burns at quite the temperature! My hands smelled like burnt flesh for weeks!


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## MF_Kitten (Apr 5, 2010)

Jeggs said:


> I don't know the english name for it, so I'll post a pic :
> 
> 
> 
> ...



there's magnesium and some shit in those as well, and they can burn under water at least for a bit. putting it out with your hand = not a good idea


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## MF_Kitten (Apr 5, 2010)

CJLsky said:


> Once, when I was 11, I was swimming with my family when I found a glass bottle near the water. Being the young retard I was, I thought it would be cool to break the bottle with a rock underwater to see what all the glass flying in slow-mo would look like. I brought the rock down on the bottle, and a piece of it shot directly into my right thumb, slicing the shit out of it.
> 
> I bled like a stuck pig all the way to the hospital, and had to get 5 stitches in my thumb. Mind you, this was about a year after I started playing guitar, and I could barely hold a pick until the wound healed and I got the stitches taken out.
> 
> That same summer, I decided to swing on a rope swing that I had no business being on, and needless to say, it snapped. I went flying backwards and landed on my right arm, breaking it, dislocating my hand from my wrist, and cracking my growth cup. Now my right hand is slightly smaller than my left hand. What can I say, I was a dumbass at 11 years old.



funny thing about this, is that it sounds like it would look really awesome. i would totally try this


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## 13point9 (Apr 5, 2010)

erm, nothing on some of you guys, I slipped over in primary school and kneed a bentch, I still have the scar the blood went down all over my foot haha, Didn't cry but when I walked past my class mates they were screaming like bitches...

Various little scars on my face arms and hands from my brother, he had a tendency to gouge lumps of flesh out of me with his finger nails...

and once I was pissing about with a pen in secondary school, I had the pocket clip on my finger, flicking the pen about and it flicked into my eye, that hurt a lot and i couldnt really see for about an hour lol


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## snuif09 (Apr 5, 2010)

my most painfull experience was a plain steel guitar string that was laying on the ground pointing upwards going in and then come out at the top iwas in complete shock like HOLY SHIT almost fainted like a girl lol didnt bleed that much since at was a small hole but it scared the shit out of me and it hurted like FUCK


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## brandon5pennies (Aug 13, 2010)

I've got 2 stories. 1st one I was at a show and occasionally the venue I was at holds dodgeball games just for fun and there was this guy who has a cannon for an arm and was destroying people with his throws and being the smart person I am I decided to join in and surely enough I got hit by him in the face and it hurt! 2nd story. I was at a skatepark with some friends skating in the pool because it had either rained or snowed and the pool was indoors while the rest of the park was outside. My friend took his trucks and wheels off his board and I was like "I bet I can drop in". Tried once and just fell no big deal should have just had the laugh and quit there but nope I decided to try again and the 2nd time board shoots back I fell 5 feet and slammed head first and was knocked out cold. Woke up crying from the excruciating pain. Went out to eat later and passed out in my food. Funny thing is I got severely injured in that same bowl before someone slipped out and their board shot out and hit me in the face shattering my jaw and I had to have plastic surgery yay! Not really it sucked. If you haven't caught on I tend to hurt my head or face a lot haha.


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## Charles (Aug 13, 2010)

I'm full of just doing dumb things. Besides the obvious cuts and grazes from guitar strings I'm just generally the clumsiest motherfucker of all time. Fell over coming into the net playing tennis last week and landed on my nose. It didn't hurt but man did I feel dumb.

Come to think of it I'm full of great stories like that. Ran through a fence while playing tennis because I couldn't stop. Again, didn't hurt much but the visual of my feet sticking out of the fence into the court while the rest of my body was outside was indeed a funny one. Tripped on a sprinkler when I was playing high school football, missed my tackle and the guy went in for the touchdown (actually that was more of an injury to my ego but eh.)

I've been greatly fortunate in that I've never really been hurt that badly, but man do I look like an idiot sometimes.


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## Daemoniac (Aug 13, 2010)

Well fuck me sideways, I could have sworn I posted in this thread... that or I have and missed the post when I looked through just now 

Ok then...

Got a skateboard for my 18th birthday 3 years back and it was on a Saturday. We _were_ planning to go out clubbing, but I didn't have any acceptable ID to get in, and the place to get it wasn't open until the following Monday; fine.

Fuck around for the weekend, get confident enough to start going on actual trips with it (up to the shops etc..), and on Monday I took it down to get my ID. Get a call from the missus to go meet her at TAFE (where she was studying at the time), whihc is only about a 10 minute walk/ride from where I was at the time, so I went up a bit early. Now there's a pretty big hill just out the front there, so I stood at the top with the board for about a minute trying to figure out whether to just do it or not, and in the end...


I didn't. I walked to the bottom, put it down, got on, pushed once, and fucking _FELL_  It wasn't so funny at the time, turns out i'd broken my ankle in 3 places, and dislocated the cunt as well, so every time I hopped on my good leg, my ankle would flop around randomly, tugging the breaks around and generally hurting like shit. I sat there screaming profanities and eventually someone came and helped me up, and then took me and the missus to the hospital.  A week later I had surgery, put 2 plates in there and IIRC 12 pins to hold it all together (still in there...), and my left ankle is now 1.5 times as big as my right.

EDIT: ANd I didn't experience "clubbing" until 12 weeks later... I wasn't impressed...


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## Mr. Big Noodles (Aug 13, 2010)

1:21 - "Just make sure there's nothing around you you're going to hit."

When I was 9 or 10, yoyos were the big thing. I was doing this trick in my bedroom, and hit the yoyo off of my desk chair. Well, the angle of deflection was just so that this piece of plastic and ball bearings comes hurdling toward my skull. In an instant, I'm crying and burying my face in a pillow. My mom comes in, I lift my face, and the pillow's covered in blood. I had sliced my eyebrow because I was doing this trick that requires a lot of room in a place where no such room exists. An inch's difference, and I might have lost my eye, but I luckily walked away with six stitches. After the ordeal, I was more interested than ever in yoyos, which lasted until the school year was over.


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## josh pelican (Aug 13, 2010)

I think I have you all beat...

Just a little over three and half years ago I was in a car accident that should have ended me. It put me in the hospital for a week and I now have a metal plate in my arm. They pulled a good amount of glass out of me, including my head, hand, and the cartilage of my ear. I had a few good open wounds (big ones), small lacerations, contusions, etc. All that good shit. My arm was closed with surgical staples, while my hand and ear had regular sutures in them.

The doctor said years down the road, glass might start to rise out of my skin and I'll be able to yank it out.

HERE'S THE DUMB PART:

I'm out of the hospital for a few days here. Unemployed (not that I could work), still a bit freaked out from what happened, and I'm looking over some of my cuts and wounds. I notice this little purple bump in the cartilage of my ear (where the suture was previously). I think to myself it could be glass. I take a needle and poke it a few times. I get under the skin and I hear a clink (similar to a needle hitting glass). So I take the needle and I think some tweezers and start jabbing it. Little pieces of flesh are coming off as well as a small amount of blood. Nothing serious. I hear lots of clinking so I finally give one last jab with the needle and yank as hard as I can with the tweezers.

...

I hit an artery IN MY FUCKING EAR.

Immediately I felt an immense pressure in my ear. As soon as I moved my had blood starting fucking SPRAYING. I knelt near the toilet and turned my head (left side down) while trying to grab toilet paper (which was on my left hand side). I went through an entire roll of toilet paper. I was applying pressure, but it was running down. I kept grabbing more and more toilet paper to clear up the mess while maintaining pressure on it.

The entire toilet was covered in blood. Not a pool of blood. Arterial spray. The bowl and water were red. The loads of toilet paper sitting in the toilet looked like clumps of my insides. It was all over the floor, the mirror, the sink, etc. Every time my heart beat blood would spray. Of course at this point, my heart was racing.

At point it got so bad that while it was spraying, it was pouring as well. How could so much blood come out of something so fucking small?! I know it was an artery, but still...

After who knows how long, it started to die down. I got upstairs to a better bathroom with a closer mirror. I removed the toilet paper to look and it sprayed a few more times.

By now I had called several people freaking out. My mom was rushing home from work (a hospital) to get me to take me in. On the way there my ear had just stopped bleeding. Instead of going to the hospital to get sutured again, we went to Pets Unlimited so I could buy some fish.

EDIT: I have pictures at home. Will post later.


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## leandroab (Aug 13, 2010)

AySay said:


> ^
> That's crazy man!
> 
> 
> ...



Something similar happened to me. After I re-stringed my 7321 (and cut the strings at the tuners) I saw it was a little bit dirty around the tuning pegs. So I grabbed a cloth and started to swipe it back and forth to remove the dust and gunk. That's when my grandpa comes to ask a question and I look at him. I hit the cut G string with my index finger. The cut string enters BELOW MY NAIL. IT FUCKING HURT SO FUCKING MUCH. The pain was so acute and sharp (try pinching the tip of your nose really hard) I actually fucking yelled really hard. There wasn't much blood but the pain was fucking unbelievable for such a small puncture. It kept hurting like hell for over a week.



josh pelican said:


> EDIT: I have pictures at home. Will post later.



Please. Don't.


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## josh pelican (Aug 13, 2010)

TOO LATE. I already said I would.


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## Lord_Elixer (Aug 13, 2010)

The "stupidest" injury I have given myself would be when I was working in a butcher. I managed to cut the back of the hand I was holding the knife in and I have no idea how the hell it happened. Nice little scar, though not as good as those on my fingers ;-)


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## leandroab (Aug 13, 2010)

josh pelican said:


> TOO LATE. I already said I would.



Fuck you.




























Djently.


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## josh pelican (Aug 13, 2010)

leandroab said:


> Fuck you.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


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## damigu (Aug 13, 2010)

i'm currently working as a lab assistant for one of my professors (i'm a physics undergraduate).

i had spent the day soldering circuits and it was finally time to go home. so i shut down the soldering iron and put everything away. then i went to kneel down to pick up some stuff that fell on the floor and my right hand gets caught in the power cord for the soldering iron.

the iron then came out of its stand and it lands directly across my left wrist. i feel the intense heat and my arm jerks, and the iron then bounces off and hits my right forearm. by the end of the day, everywhere that was hit by the iron was blistered up.

i currently have a 2" scab across my left wrist and everyone new i've met keeps thinking i'm a suicidal cutter because of it!


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## kung_fu (Aug 13, 2010)

I was blowing my nose yesterday after my workout. I was really sweaty and my hand slid off of my nose and my finger went directly into my eye REALLY hard . I've been pretty fortunate that after 25 years, this is practically my most serious injury.


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## kung_fu (Aug 13, 2010)

Jeggs said:


> I don't know the english name for it, so I'll post a pic :



I remember grabbing one of those from the wrong end when i was a kid . Thankfully someone was there to kiss it better


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## Origin (Aug 13, 2010)

I've knocked myself unconscious with a swing set pole playing tag


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## Psychobuddy (Aug 13, 2010)

I've got a lot of stories, but none as bad as you guys. This one's my favourite though, I was in the shower and punched myself...I thought my hip bone was a bubble. It hurt my hand and my hip, I was a little disappointed that I'm not smart enough to know the difference between me and a bubble.


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## Chickenhawk (Aug 13, 2010)

Psychobuddy_101 said:


> I've got a lot of stories, but none as bad as you guys. This one's my favourite though, I was in the shower and punched myself...I thought my hip bone was a bubble. It hurt my hand and my hip, I was a little disappointed that I'm not smart enough to know the difference between me and a bubble.




Liar, you were jerking it and your hand slipped off


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## groph (Aug 13, 2010)

Hah, I have a few. Nothing really hardcore, I don't hurt myself that much, luckily.

Years ago, after seeing Eminem's video for "Lose Yourself" I tried imitating the "dancing around on your tippy toes whilst punching the air" when I got out of the shower. No, I didn't slip, but my left heel SMASHED into the corner of the heater on the wall, putting a nasty gash in it and impeding my walking for a few days.

I punched myself in the face to see how much it'd hurt. I ended up clocking myself right under my right eye on the cheekbone which stung like crazy and left a bruise.

Last weekend I was down at a buddy's place about to go hit the streets downtown. I put away a pint of rum pretty damn quickly and I probably wasn't eating all that much so I was fairly buzzed off of this, but nothing too crazy. After about 5 or 6 double whisky sours I was relatively bombed, and whilst dancing around (badly) like a total idiot while talking to a few friends, I go down hard on my right ankle, all 240 pounds. Unfortunately a bouncer happened to be right there so he and another bouncer dragged me out of the club onto the street, probably thinking I'm going to start getting violent (I'm harmless, the only person I'd ever fight when drunk is my best friend because that asshole has it coming). I am fairly big, and I was fairly drunk so I'll give it to them. After having a smoke with a stranger I remembered that there's another entrance around the block, so I got back in. I proceeded to dance around even more on this (unknown to me) badly sprained ankle for another couple of hours, and walked back to my friend's place after it was all over. My God, what a bad morning. Not a touch of a hangover but I couldn't walk at all. Then last Sunday I was downtown again, my ankle was 90% healed so I could walk fine, until I rolled it again while not really paying attention to where I was walking (I was only slightly buzzed, I was walking perfectly otherwise).

Guess where I'm going tonight?


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## Marv Attaxx (Aug 13, 2010)

3 Months ago I wanted to run a lil' bit with my little doggy. It was a beautiful day. Went into the woods. Started running...
2 meters later I fell on the ground...hard 
The ligaments of my left foot were torn. Couldn't walk for 2 months.
Still can't run or jump.
Torn ligaments fucking suck, I'd rather have my foot broken


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## thegagebass (Aug 13, 2010)

cigarette burn on the head of my dick......


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## matt397 (Aug 13, 2010)

I think the worst Ive done in recent memory was trip on my lanyards at work a fall down a 8 ft long steep hill of broken concrete and rebar. I got banged up an cut up fairly well LoL


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## Matt-Hatchett (Aug 13, 2010)

One time I was having a dream, in which I was pulling very hard on something that wouldn't move. I suppose my body was convinced it was real, because I jerked my arm as hard as I could and punched myself directly in the mouth. Not a very pleasant way to wake up.


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## Mexi (Aug 13, 2010)

my brother told me i couldn't jump off the roof, so I did it just to stick it to him. I landed on my back and couldn't get up for 10 minutes after that. its been a good 6 years since that and I never really saw a doctor about it, though I imagine I have some back trauma that will probably be a problem when I'm 40 lol


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## josh pelican (Aug 13, 2010)

THIS POST CONTAINS PICTURES OF BLOOD.






















Arterial pictures:





















Trust me, it was much worse than that. Those pictures are fairly time.


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## Mexi (Aug 13, 2010)

^ those sink pictures look like backgrounds for a Dexter episode


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## leandroab (Aug 14, 2010)

So, fresh new injury!

I sooooo want some cheese buns so I grabbed a baking tray and washed it (it was dirty, thanks grandpa)

So after that I went to grab the frozen cheese buns, but my HANDS WERE WET.

The instant I grabbed the freezer drawer my right hand got stuck. I was there, bent over shannon2, with all fingers except my thumb stuck to the freezer. I stood like that for 15 seconds or so thinking of wtf should I do, cuz it was fucking hurting. So I said "fuck it" and started pulling my hand away. Holy shit did it hurt. When I looked at my hand, all my 4 fingers had a small circle of skin missing. No blood though. There is flesh stuck to my freezer! 

The oven just preheated, baking time!


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## josh pelican (Aug 14, 2010)

thegagebass said:


> cigarette burn on the head of my dick......



You've got some 'splaining to do.


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## Whiskey_Funeral (Aug 15, 2010)

Zipped my balls up in my jeans.


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## Charles (Aug 18, 2010)

I hit myself on the top of the head today trying to imitate Rafael Nadal's forehand. While I've never come quite as close to you guys in terms of severe injury I did feel like quite the dunce.


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## synrgy (Aug 18, 2010)

Whiskey_Funeral said:


> Zipped my balls up in my jeans.


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## darkinners (Aug 18, 2010)

it happened recently,, 2 weeks ago.
I was so pissed off, I hit the concrete wall with my bare hand for like 10 hits.
then I crushed my right hand's pinky and ring finger's bone and damaged some nerves too.

still in recover, I just got a new guitar today and I can't play properly 
just few days ago I am able to use chopstick again but doctor says I need another 2 or 3 weeks for fully recover : (

never hit the concrete wall mates : (


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## Jaaaaamie (Aug 20, 2010)

Cigarette burns on my chest and ballsack or falling off the roof of a moving car and ripping a layer of skin off my hand... probably


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