# Strangest phone call you've ever received...



## FlyingBanana (Nov 25, 2008)

Hey guys,

I got a really weird call today on the business line. I answered the phone with the usual and this woman with a really deep and throaty sounding voice asks me if we offer computer training. (I said yes, because we are a comp tech company.)

So anyhow, I said yes and we are mobile and can come out to your place if you like...would you like to set up an appointment.

Cutting out half the conversation to make this shorter, all of a sudden she says to me, Where are you at right now?" I told her I was at a job and as mentioned earlier in the call I could drop by around 3pm. She said ok and told me...and I shit you not,

"So, should I wear a short dress and no panties?"

I said, "Excuse me?"

She repeated it and I said, "What did you just say?"

Then she hung up.

This was a first for that kind of call. Here I am thinking about having another job and bringing in a few more bucks for the month and SHE was the one who was on the job....

Weird shit out there people.


----------



## sami (Nov 25, 2008)

Back when I delivered pizza, I got a call at the end of the night:

me: Double Daves, sorry we're closed.
lady: are your drivers good in bed?
me: whaaaat??
*click*

she never called back, lol


----------



## Randy (Nov 25, 2008)

Apparently hookers/janes have resorted to "cold calling"?


----------



## FlyingBanana (Nov 25, 2008)

Randy said:


> Apparently hookers/janes have resorted to "cold calling"?


 

Haha...I'm telling you. 

If this were 15 years ago before marriage and kids I might have been tempted....

On the other hand....disease or setup by the cops.....

Who knows any more. 

In any case, I am faithful and true to my wife and kids...as should all of us who are married should be.


----------



## distressed_romeo (Nov 25, 2008)

I recently got several calls from a guy who thought my flat was a bridal shop.


----------



## Mr. S (Nov 25, 2008)

I randomly every two or three months get phone calls from some Italian kids asking for their mum (I think they must be about 10) its odd but I laugh it off, I should ask their names next time so I can say "no you got the wrong number again [insert generic Italian name], pay more attention when dialling or I'll tell you're mum!"


----------



## eleven59 (Nov 25, 2008)

Working for internet tech support:

Her: "Are you looking for <insert name I can't remember>?"

Me: "I'm sorry?"

Her: "I wanted to report that I know where <name> is. He is on America's Most Wanted list, he is living <address I don't remember> and going by the name <other name I don't remember>. He has damaged my son and will damage others soon as well."

Me: <insert random spluttering>

Her: "I just wanted to report it so that you could do something about it." 

<click>

Cue me sitting in stunned silence for a few minutes, wondering why she thought her internet providers were the ones looking for this man, wondering if I should tell my supervisor, and quickly realizing I had forgotten all the important information.


----------



## JJ Rodriguez (Nov 25, 2008)

FlyingBanana said:


> Hey guys,
> 
> I got a really weird call today on the business line. I answered the phone with the usual and this woman with a really deep and throaty sounding voice asks me if we offer computer training. (I said yes, because we are a comp tech company.)
> 
> ...



My response would have been "It wouldn't hurt" 

Why don't I get calls like that?


----------



## Randy (Nov 25, 2008)

One that came to mind;

Me: "...hello...?" *not recognizing the number*

Them: "Hey"

Me: "Hey man... what's going on...?" *no idea who I'm talking to*

Them: "Where's my mom?"

Me: "Excuse me?"

Them: "I said where's my fucking mom...?!"

Me: "I think you got the wrong number, dude."

*click*


----------



## eleven59 (Nov 25, 2008)

Randy said:


> One that came to mind;
> 
> Me: "...hello...?" *not recognizing the number*
> 
> ...


----------



## sami (Nov 25, 2008)

!!!


----------



## Speedy Fingers (Nov 25, 2008)

I got a call from Rusty Cooley the other day. That was pretty fucking unexpected/cool.


----------



## budda (Nov 25, 2008)

the weirdest calls i've ever gotten have just been 10-second calls to my cellphone. i have caller ID, so when i get a number i dont recognize (usually a name) i ask who's calling and why - usually its a wrong number, but i mean c'mon its my cell lol.

last night, i got home from work - i work at a call centre (outgoing calls, we do surveys). and half an hour later, my phone rings - some guy asks me if i want to do a survey for Fanshawe College. i laugh, say sure i dont see why not. inform him partway that i also do surveys for my job, it didnt take long. gave me a chuckle to be on the receiving end of my work though .

and aaron, that's just weird man.


----------



## ZeroSignal (Nov 25, 2008)

Randy said:


> One that came to mind;
> 
> Me: "...hello...?" *not recognizing the number*
> 
> ...



 This looks like a winner to me!



Speedy Fingers said:


> I got a call from Rusty Cooley the other day. That was pretty fucking unexpected/cool.



LIES!!!


----------



## Neil (Nov 25, 2008)

I was at work a long time ago and I got a phone call by an aggreesive person, they were asking me who I was I gave my name and asked who they were and they just came back with they were going to get me and 'knee cap me' so I hang up, they obviously have the wrong person, or it was a prank but I didnt recognise the voice.

The phone rings again, same people they ask me who I am (by now its fairly obvious they dont know who they are phoning or trying to beat up lol) and I tried to make a quick lie but couldn't thing on my feet, I was in the office at work so I said

Michael.... *looks around* Fan....man... *silence* No your not your lying! 

I hang up and laugh at my terrible surname.


----------



## Stitch (Nov 25, 2008)

Me: "Good afternoon, Scayles Music, Simon speaking."

Customer: "Hello, good afternoon, I was wondering if you could help me. I was wondering if you could order in a left handed model for me?"

Me: "Yes, of course, provided it is in stock with our supplier. What is it your looking for, and any preference for finish?"

Customer: "Ah, excellent! I'm looking for a left handed Pod X3 Live. Do you think you can get those?"

Me: "..."


----------



## kristallin (Nov 25, 2008)

Hi Ben, it's me. Look, things aren't working out between us, and, well, this is really hard to say, I've been going out with Adam for a while now, and, well, he's everything you're not."

"Ummm, far from me to disagree with you, but I'm not Ben."

"Oh my God I'm so sorry"
*click*


beats the 3am calls I used to get after moving to this place and getting a new number

"Yo, Shaniqua, how 'bout I come on over and you let me tap that booty?"

"I doubt you want to tap my booty, it's hairy and very masculine"

"Oh. Pass the damn phone to Shaniqua, G!"


----------



## auxioluck (Nov 25, 2008)

Stitch said:


> Me: "Good afternoon, Scayles Music, Simon speaking."
> 
> Customer: "Hello, good afternoon, I was wondering if you could help me. I was wondering if you could order in a left handed model for me?"
> 
> ...



 Those are hard to come by I guess.

I received a call for tech support a couple weeks ago:

Me: Client Services, this is Rob.

Her: Hi, I'm having problems with my software. (She has a voice that sounds like Tara Reid, only with more energy.)

*Proceeds to finish helping and resolve her problem*

Me: And that should do it.

Her: Oh my God, thank you! I love you!!

Me: It's no problem at all, anytime!

Her: Me love you long time! *laughter*

Me: "......Will I still get paid for that?"

Her: .......Sure! *more laughter*

Definitely the most interesting call I've gotten outside of drunk people calling my number by accident wanting to beat my ass, obviously not knowing my firearm collection.


----------



## ILdÐÆMcº³ (Nov 25, 2008)

Stitch said:


> Me: "Good afternoon, Scayles Music, Simon speaking."
> 
> Customer: "Hello, good afternoon, I was wondering if you could help me. I was wondering if you could order in a left handed model for me?"
> 
> ...



Why yes we do, unfortunately there is a slight markup as there is with our selection of left handed guitar cables.


----------



## Stealthdjentstic (Nov 26, 2008)

Randy said:


> One that came to mind;
> 
> Me: "...hello...?" *not recognizing the number*
> 
> ...


----------



## Sebastian (Nov 26, 2008)

I got a lot of calls like
"Good morning, when Can i register to a dentist" 

"Can i speak with a dentist"

"Is it the dentist cabinet"...


and I used to get a lot of calls from... Russians, or Ukrainians .. I didnt understand a word ...

and of course the 2-3am calls "Are you sleeping ?? "


----------



## sami (Nov 26, 2008)

Stitch said:


> Me: "Good afternoon, Scayles Music, Simon speaking."
> 
> Customer: "Hello, good afternoon, I was wondering if you could help me. I was wondering if you could order in a left handed model for me?"
> 
> ...


----------



## xXxPriestessxXx (Nov 26, 2008)

Mine happened a couple months ago:

Me: Foodworld Pharmacy may I help you?

Man: Hey..yes I have a question.

Me:Ok, go ahead.

Man: Well I am in town visiting my gf and she and I were having sex but she got called into work. So I took it upon myself to decide to finish.

Me: shocked silence

Man: So I went to the cabinet and got this lotion she had in there out and used it to finish. Now my penis burns.

Me: Was there a label on the bottle that you got the lotion from?

Man: There wasn't a store label but she had written one on there herself.

Me: Ok well what does it say?

Man: It says that it is Capzasin (this is arthritis cream that has hot peppers in it) and Pine tar (water proof sealant).

Me: (fighting laughter) Sir I don't think that there is much that you can do because that lotion has pine tar in it and I don't think it will be easy to get off.

Man: Ok well thanks for the help.

*click*


----------



## Zepp88 (Nov 26, 2008)

Holy shit, he rubbed capzasin(sp) on his dick? That hurts thinking about it.


----------



## xXxPriestessxXx (Nov 26, 2008)

If he was actually being serious (which I think he was because he sounded like he was in pain) then yes. Some people aren't very smart.


----------



## Zepp88 (Nov 26, 2008)

That is crazy


----------



## Randy (Nov 26, 2008)

Meh. Sounds like a typical Friday night.


----------



## xXxPriestessxXx (Nov 26, 2008)

Randy said:


> Meh. Sounds like a typical Friday night.



 Randy!


----------



## Randy (Nov 26, 2008)

<_<

>_>

You know, for _some_ people.


----------



## petereanima (Nov 26, 2008)

Randy said:


> Meh. Sounds like a typical Friday night.



hi JJ, new account? 


strangest one was a few years ago, 1:00am

me: "hello?"
girl: "you stole my fucking mobile asshole!!!"
me: "eh, what? you called the wrong number i think..."
girl: "no, i called MY number asshole and youre picking up, means you stole it!"
me: "what the fuck, hits is my number since the alst 5 years! listen you called 0664..."
girl: "damn it, i know what i dialed, asshole you stole my mobile"
me: "well, check the number again and then fuck off!" - *hungup*

2 minutes later - my mobile rings.

me: "grmpf...hello?"
dude: (with a typical austrian incest-hillbilly-slang) "you told my girlfriend to fuck off, i will kill you dude!"
me: "well your girlfriend is dumb as fuck and doesnt know her own mobile number, woke me up in the middle of the night, calling me an asshole, yes - she should go fuck herself"
dude: "who are you? i come over and kill you!"
me: "i'd love to see that, but i'm too tired, now go fuck yourself, or your damn bitch, i dont care, bye." hung up

2 minutes later, same number is calling

me (fully awake meanwhile): "yeah what the fuck do you still want?"
girl: "so i'm a bitch, huh?"

...


----------



## Psyclapse (Nov 26, 2008)

3 AM I get a call, don't answer it, and this guy proceeds to leave a message about how drunk he is and I should get my fucking ass to the bar. The entire time he's calling me John, my name is Shaun and I say it in my voicemail so he must have been too drunk to notice. I ignore it.

He calls again a few days later, at 3 AM, and proceeds to leave me a voicemail about how he was working on his roof, at 3 AM, and fell off. He broke his legs and for some reason, instead of dialing 911, he calls "John" to take him to the hospital. I ignore it again and hope he actually calls me when I can get to the phone.

Success

Me: Hello?

Stranger: John? (He sounded sober this time)

Me: No, this is Shaun. Are you the guy that's been leaving me messages?

Stranger: I was trying to call my friend John, I guess I dialed your number by mistake.... I'm sorry.

Me: It's ok, those messages were hilarious!

Stranger: Oh, I was REALLY drunk.... [click]

Good stuff.


----------



## WarriorOfMetal (Nov 30, 2008)

a couple years ago, i was waiting in line to sign out an ensemble room at berklee, which meant being awake much earlier than i'm used to. my phone rings around 8am, and my battery was low. turns out to be a wrong number. this happens about 5 or 6 more times and i start trying to help the guy troubleshoot what was happening. it seems that he wasn't even dialing my number....weird shit.

i also get those spam phone calls from time to time....you know, where when you answer, a recording tells you that your car warranty is about to expire, or that they have an important message "about your [current] account"


----------



## Nickthebogan (Dec 2, 2008)

my girlfriend got a call a couple of days ago.

she had her car advertised on gumtree, the person phoning wanted to buy the car, he had just landed at heathrow from nigeria and wanted to buy a car so he had somewhere to sleep. she said no, he then asked if he could rent a seat in it for a night.

nigerians...strange


----------



## ZeroSignal (Dec 2, 2008)

Nickthebogan said:


> my girlfriend got a call a couple of days ago.
> 
> she had her car advertised on gumtree, the person phoning wanted to buy the car, he had just landed at heathrow from nigeria and wanted to buy a car so he had somewhere to sleep. she said no, he then asked if he could rent a seat in it for a night.
> 
> nigerians... Desperate to find a place to sleep at night when they've spent all their money on a plane ticket to a country with less social and economic issues than their old one so they can hopefully create a new life for themselves



Fixed.


----------



## s_k_mullins (Dec 2, 2008)

Randy said:


> One that came to mind;
> 
> Me: "...hello...?" *not recognizing the number*
> 
> ...


 
The correct response would've been "Your mom is in my bathroom cleaning my man-juice out of her eyes."



xXxPriestessxXx said:


> Mine happened a couple months ago:
> 
> Me: Foodworld Pharmacy may I help you?
> 
> ...


 
Nothing makes you feel more manly than rubbing hot peppers and pine tar on your penis... makes you feel alive and invigorated


----------



## bulletbass man (Dec 2, 2008)

Actually yesterday.

Some guy called and was talking about a colonoscopy, then something about a church directory, and after that something about fish.

Then I said I think you mean to be talking to my father

He simply replied I'll talk to him later right now I'm talking to you.

It was very akward.


----------



## poopyalligator (Dec 4, 2008)

Oh you guys are going to love this one. I work at a call center where i take reservations for hotels, and do things of that sort. Anyway this story is 100&#37; true, and is probably my favorite story to tell. here is how the call went

me: (bullshit hotel introduction) how can i help you today?

customer: I just walked into my room and there is a dead monkey in here!

me: im sorry, what was that?

customer: there is a dead monkey in my room, and I have no idea where the (insert f word) it came from

me: Have you talked to the manager about this?

Customer: I told the employee at the desk and they said hed be up here in a minutes, But i wanted to let you know what the hell is going on here. 

me: (baffled as hell) Is it okay if i talk to the manager when he gets here. 

customer: Yeah when he gets here i will pass you the phone. (as he mutters holy shit under his breath)

So at this moment the manager walks into the room and all i can hear is a huge streak of curse words from the managers mouth, and then he gets on the phone and says this

manager: hello (states all of his information about hotel)

me: hello,sir my name is david. Is this a joke? (i had to ask just because of the whole oddness of the situation)

manager: Absolutely not, we had somebody stay here who had a seeing eye monkey here the other night, and this was his monkey (yes, there is such thing as seeing eye monkeys)

Me: wow,..... wow

manager: yeah, I have got the situation under control.

That is where the phone call finished off. So that was the oddest phone call i have ever had before. I am not sure if that was a prank or not, but if it was then it was done rather elaborately on the count of they had all of the information about his hotel such as hotel number and stuff, which a normal person wouldnt know. Luckily my work records our phone calls, so we saved that in the archive of great calls lol.


----------



## auxioluck (Dec 4, 2008)

^^   

WIN!!! /fucking thread!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## Mattayus (Dec 4, 2008)

I used to work at this failed UK CD/DVD store chain called Music Zone (anyone remember? no? was around for about 5 months? Took over MVC then went bankrupt? No? me neither.)

Anyway, there was this guy there everyone hated, was a weird prick, had odd mannerisms, absolutely stank, was 36 but looked 18 (that's not even an exaggeration). Anyway, I gave him my number once cos I was gettin some weed and he wanted in. About 3 months later i was lying there in bed, it was around 3am, and the phone rang.

It came up with his name and in my sleepy daze i sort of remembered giving him my number but it was only that one time, and we didn't speak much at work so i thought it was a bit strange.

me: "hello?" *rubs eyes*

him: "i'm covered it blood"

me: *sits bold upright* "you're fuckin what?!"

him: "i'm covered in blood"

me: "dude where are you!?" *looks out of his window thinking he's hurt and wants to come in*

him: "i've been out in cambridge....."

me: "right... dude are you... outside?"

him: "i'm covered in blood" *weird laugh*

me: "erm... you ...o...k?"

him: "some guy fell off his bike *more weird laughing* i tried to help him but.. hahahaha..."

me: "yeah... so it's not your blood then?" (sorta trying to be light hearted about the whole weird fiasco)

him: "i'm covered in blood hahahahaha"

me: "bye dude." *CLICK*

Next day at work I was in the stock room, and he comes in, (despite the fact that he wasn't meant to work that day) wearing the same trousers as he was the night before, and shirt, low and behold - covered in blood. I was like "DUDE WHAT THE FUCK!! Haven't you been home?!!?"

He goes ".... yeah? why?". We all got made redundant about 2 weeks after that. Never seen him since 

The end.


----------



## st2012 (Dec 4, 2008)

sami said:


> Back when I delivered pizza, I got a call at the end of the night:
> 
> me: Double Daves, sorry we're closed.
> lady: are your drivers good in bed?
> ...



Kind of off topic but I fucking love Double Dave's


----------



## Zepp88 (Dec 4, 2008)

Mattayus said:


> I used to work at this failed UK CD/DVD store chain called Music Zone (anyone remember? no? was around for about 5 months? Took over MVC then went bankrupt? No? me neither.)
> 
> Anyway, there was this guy there everyone hated, was a weird prick, had odd mannerisms, absolutely stank, was 36 but looked 18 (that's not even an exaggeration). Anyway, I gave him my number once cos I was gettin some weed and he wanted in. About 3 months later i was lying there in bed, it was around 3am, and the phone rang.
> 
> ...



Epic.


----------



## Randy (Dec 4, 2008)

Mattayus said:


> I used to work at this failed UK CD/DVD store chain called Music Zone (anyone remember? no? was around for about 5 months? Took over MVC then went bankrupt? No? me neither.)
> 
> Anyway, there was this guy there everyone hated, was a weird prick, had odd mannerisms, absolutely stank, was 36 but looked 18 (that's not even an exaggeration). Anyway, I gave him my number once cos I was gettin some weed and he wanted in. About 3 months later i was lying there in bed, it was around 3am, and the phone rang.
> 
> ...



Sir, you win all the marbles.


----------



## Zepp88 (Dec 4, 2008)

[action=Zepp88] hands over his marbles. [/action]


----------



## All_¥our_Bass (Dec 4, 2008)

xXxPriestessxXx said:


> Mine happened a couple months ago:
> 
> Me: Foodworld Pharmacy may I help you?
> 
> ...


 
OH. MY. GOD.



I couldn't stop laughing for aboot a minute.


----------



## Zepp88 (Dec 5, 2008)

Burning love.


----------



## abyssalservant (Dec 5, 2008)

xXxPriestessxXx said:


> Mine happened a couple months ago:
> 
> Me: Foodworld Pharmacy may I help you?
> 
> ...



*cackles* capsaicin. If you like pain and spend enough time in the sexual arena, you will feel it with things other than your tongue.


----------



## renzoip (Dec 5, 2008)

I had a for sale sign in my car and some getto guy called me not long ago. It went like this:

Me: Hello? 

Caller: Hi, I'm calling about the Nissan Sentra you have for sale.

Me: Yes sir, how can I help you?

Caller: How is the car running? How many miles?

Me: Pretty good. 102,000 Miles

Caller: That's great! Now, did the previous owner smoke cigarettes?

Me: No, sir. The car is very clean.

Caller: How about weed?

Me: Um...no sir.

Call: Oh, that's sad. I love weed and that smell is something I always look for in a car!

Me: Thank you, have a good night.

::Hangs up::

Cant believe I totally bought that!


----------



## abyssalservant (Dec 5, 2008)

Weirdest I've gotten recently was, sitting in a car with person A waiting for person B to arrive . . . person A calls person B to check up.

My phone rings.

I answer it.

It's person A, and when I look over at person A's phone, they've clearly dialed person B (my guitarist). After a moment of confusion, I try calling him myself.

"Please enter your passcode and then press pound."

After a few more confused moments with no better results, person B shows up. Turns out, since his phone is running low on juice, he's set it to redirect calls to me. Which means when I call him, I call myself. Needless to say, later that night I get a call from a familiar feminine voice . . . 

"Sorry, H., it's [me]. P. set his phone to redirect to me, and apparently hasn't reset it yet. I'll see if I can get a hold of him."


----------



## Zepp88 (Dec 5, 2008)

I think you should hot box the car, you might get a sale out of it.


----------



## abyssalservant (Dec 5, 2008)

Ok, so that was kinda lame. I tried.


----------



## twiztedchild (Dec 5, 2008)

Im not going to Beat the Dead Monkey or the Capsisin guy. but the weirdiest I got was when I was still living in florida I had a Nextel phone. or maybe it was a boost 

Anyway, 

"Phone rings"
Me: Hello?
Caller: Hello, Im looking for, {Person} Forgot thier name.
Me: Im not him you got the wrong number.
Caller: You have a warent for your arrest.
Me: Dude, Im not that guy.
Caller: I have been contatcted to get ahold of you. If you dont show up at {Place} then you will be arrested.
Me:Again, man, IM NOT THAT FUCKING GUY.
Me: Hangs up phone.


Then that happened for 3 months after that 

It stoped when I moved to Washington and changed my number


----------



## Zepp88 (Dec 5, 2008)

I was expecting that story to end in an arrest


----------



## twiztedchild (Dec 5, 2008)

Zepp88 said:


> I was expecting that story to end in an arrest



If I told the guy where I lived IM sure he would have tried


----------



## Zepp88 (Dec 5, 2008)

Haha, they're doing a poorly orchestrated man-hunt as we speak.


----------



## Daemoniac (Dec 5, 2008)

I dont have any funny storiez


----------



## ZeroSignal (Dec 5, 2008)

Zepp88 said:


> Haha, they're doing a poorly orchestrated man-hunt as we speak.



What, like walking along the motor-way verges, beating the shrubbery with sticks and shouting loudly?

OR... you've now got Dogg the Bounty Hunter chasing you down...


----------



## Daemoniac (Dec 5, 2008)

ZeroSignal said:


> OR... you've now got Dogg the Bounty Hunter chasing you down...



I wouldnt be so worried about him. His _Wife_ on the other hand


----------



## Zepp88 (Dec 5, 2008)

ZeroSignal said:


> What, like walking along the motor-way verges, beating the shrubbery with sticks and shouting loudly?



This.


----------



## twiztedchild (Dec 5, 2008)

My Friends mom hid from the police IN MY HOUSE for 3 hours while they were searching there house for her. a cop offered me $100 if I knew where she was. That was BEFORE I knew she was In my house


----------



## ZeroSignal (Dec 5, 2008)

twiztedchild said:


> My Friends mom hid from the police IN MY HOUSE for 3 hours while they were searching there house for her. a cop offered me $100 if I knew where she was. That was BEFORE I knew she was In my house



Er... why?


----------



## twiztedchild (Dec 5, 2008)

ZeroSignal said:


> Er... why?



why was she in my house? or why was she running from the law?


*If you pressed "2" then the answer will follow after the beep*






*Beep*



She stole from walmart.....Alot.....I mean Like every fucking Night....And they traced her back to herhouse, after like 3 years of stealing from them


----------



## ZeroSignal (Dec 5, 2008)

twiztedchild said:


> She stole from walmart.....Alot.....I mean Like every fucking Night....And they traced her back to herhouse, after like 3 years of stealing from them



Jesus... That shit's hard core.


----------



## twiztedchild (Dec 5, 2008)

ZeroSignal said:


> Jesus... That shit's hard core.



yes, yes it was. I was 17 at the time aand Hd I known she was in my house I would have been like Fuck Yes She is in there. Give me my money Bitch."


----------



## Mattayus (Dec 5, 2008)

This is slightly off topic, because I was the one making the call, but I used to work in a call centre for a company that sold home improvements (roofing, conservatories etc). Anyway, ya know the typical call centre protocol - You have a phone book for particular areas, you go through it, put a tick next to their name if you get a buyer, etc etc

Aaaaaaaanyway, I arrive at work one day, put the head set on, grab a phone book from the tray, and open it up.

The first name on today's list of possible customers? Mr Tee.

That's right. Mr Tee. Spelled T, E, E. pronounced "Tee". As in "Tea", as in "T", as in "I AINT GETTIN ON NO PLANE SUCKER!!!!"

So you can imagine my uncontrollable fits of laughter as I make the call, and ask for a Mr Tee, in my timid broken-down-from-all-the-laughing voice. I had to hang up.

That job didn't last long, but it was fuckin funny


----------



## auxioluck (Dec 5, 2008)

Mattayus said:


> This is slightly off topic, because I was the one making the call, but I used to work in a call centre for a company that sold home improvements (roofing, conservatories etc). Anyway, ya know the typical call centre protocol - You have a phone book for particular areas, you go through it, put a tick next to their name if you get a buyer, etc etc
> 
> Aaaaaaaanyway, I arrive at work one day, put the head set on, grab a phone book from the tray, and open it up.
> 
> ...



 Funny last names get me every time.

A recently spoke with a gentleman over the phone name Mr. Manlove.

And no, I'm not kidding. 

I had to put my phone on mute because I was laughing too damn much.


----------



## All_¥our_Bass (Dec 5, 2008)

MANLOVE!!


----------



## poopyalligator (Dec 7, 2008)

auxioluck said:


> Funny last names get me every time.
> 
> A recently spoke with a gentleman over the phone name Mr. Manlove.
> 
> ...




HAHAHA. Another hilarious story from working at a call center. For repeat customers,we pull up all of their information by phone number. At the time we were making fun of this guy named chris. We were telling him he was gay and he makes love to men. Anyways I pull up this guys information and his name was Chris Manlove. So i get everybody around me to look at it because it was so funny. I laughed so damn hard while i was on the phone call and then hung up (i am sure that guy was pissed).I also had this one guy call in with the last name of Sukdich (and yes it is pronounced the way you think it is) and i couldnt help but chuckle when i asked him to repeat his name.


----------



## twiztedchild (Dec 7, 2008)

poopyalligator said:


> HAHAHA. Another hilarious story from working at a call center. For repeat customers,we pull up all of their information by phone number. At the time we were making fun of this guy named chris. We were telling him he was gay and he makes love to men. Anyways I pull up this guys information and his name was Chris Manlove. So i get everybody around me to look at it because it was so funny. I laughed so damn hard while i was on the phone call and then hung up (i am sure that guy was pissed).I also had this one guy call in with the last name of Sukdich (and yes it is pronounced the way you think it is) and i couldnt help but chuckle when i asked him to repeat his name.



Hello, I'm Mister Sukdich.


----------



## Stealthdjentstic (Dec 7, 2008)

poopyalligator said:


> HAHAHA. Another hilarious story from working at a call center. For repeat customers,we pull up all of their information by phone number. At the time we were making fun of this guy named chris. We were telling him he was gay and he makes love to men. Anyways I pull up this guys information and his name was Chris Manlove. So i get everybody around me to look at it because it was so funny. I laughed so damn hard while i was on the phone call and then hung up (i am sure that guy was pissed).I also had this one guy call in with the last name of Sukdich (and yes it is pronounced the way you think it is) and i couldnt help but chuckle when i asked him to repeat his name.





He must've gotten made fun of so much in school.


----------



## TheAceOfSpades1 (Dec 7, 2008)

Hah, this reminds me of a call I got at McDonalds once. Most of our calls are either people calling in sick or late or whatever or customer complaints. So I answer the phone one night and the convo goes something like this;

me "Hastings McDonalds how can I help you?"

lady "Are you really there?"

me "Excuse me?"

lady "Are you really there?!"

puzzled look on my face

me "I am here, yes."

lady "So you're not a machine?" 

me "No....so...how can I help you..?"

lady "Are you a mexican?"

me "...no..."

lady "Are you in Mexico?"

me "...no...I'm in Hastings..."

I was about to say is this a joke and was about to hang up after that but then she went further...

lady "Every McDonalds I go to the employees aren't really there and they've been replaced with machines, and mexicans from other parts of the world!!"

me *chuckle* "I'm sorry to hear that if that is an inconvience for you but I am here and this is the first time I've ever even heard of such a thing"

lady "But it's true! Every McDonalds I go to employees have been replaced because it's cheap labor!"

me "Like I said, I'm here, the rest of the employees are here, I've never heard of McDonalds doing such a thing"

lady "Well you need to fix that system of yours, people need jobs!"

And then she hung up.


So yeah that's probably the strangest call I've ever gotten from a complete stranger.


----------



## Daemoniac (Dec 7, 2008)

Seeing as how i dont actually have a funny/random phone call so to speak, i shall put my slightly angering experience at the bottle-o i worked at 


Douchebag underage kid walks in with lit cigarette, catches a dirty from me, and throws it out the door, and continues to let out a puff inside the store...
Me: "Get out dude. Im not going to serve you"
Him: "Why not?"
Me: "You came in smoking"
Him: "Im not smoking anymore, and im not drunk"
Me: "I dont care if you're drunk, you and your mates can get out, cos im not going to serve you"
Him: Cracks the shits and tries to get one of his mates to buy him stuff.
Me: "Dude, im not serving you, get out or i can call security"
Him: Cracks it again and leaves with his mates.

Few hours go by, everything is fine, and then a couple of hours later he comes back, walks past me (i dont quite recognise him), picks up a six-pack of UDL's, comes straight to the counter and pulls out his wallet.

Me: "Man, i wouldnt serve you before, why the hell would i serve you now?"
Him: "Im not drunk"
Me: "I dont care, really. You came in smoking before, im not gona serve you or your friends"
Him: "Come _on_"
Me (losing patience): "Get out man, im not serving you"
Him: Sulks out of store. Pops his head back in: "Oi, what time do you close?"
Me (over it): "Past your fucking bed-time. Go away"





The end


----------



## Zepp88 (Dec 7, 2008)

One prick to another...


----------



## Daemoniac (Dec 7, 2008)




----------



## Zepp88 (Dec 7, 2008)

That kid should have lit another cigarette


----------



## Daemoniac (Dec 7, 2008)

yeah, i would have punched him. In the face. So hed swallow the cigarette...


----------



## twiztedchild (Dec 7, 2008)

Demoniac said:


> Seeing as how i dont actually have a funny/random phone call so to speak, i shall put my slightly angering experience at the bottle-o i worked at
> 
> 
> Douchebag underage kid walks in with lit cigarette, catches a dirty from me, and throws it out the door, and continues to let out a puff inside the store...
> ...




 sounds like my friends little brother


----------



## kristallin (Dec 7, 2008)

Zepp88 said:


> Haha, they're doing a poorly orchestrated man-hunt as we speak.



Since he left the state they're putting together a posse. The appeal of the posse is great, fresh air, camping out with friends for at least a week...



TheAceOfSpades1 said:


> "Every McDonalds I go to the employees aren't really there and they've been replaced with machines, and mexicans from other parts of the world!!"



Mexicans from other parts of the world, like from Greece or something?


----------



## TheAceOfSpades1 (Dec 7, 2008)

kristallin said:


> Mexicans from other parts of the world, like from Greece or something?



Not exactly sure but that's what she said.


----------



## twiztedchild (Dec 7, 2008)

kristallin said:


> Since he left the state they're putting together a posse. The appeal of the posse is great, fresh air, camping out with friends for at least a week...
> 
> 
> 
> Mexicans from other parts of the world, like from Greece or something?



 there is a McDs next to my apartment that is full of Asians and Mexican Mostly Asians though. Maybe thats what she ment by "Other Parts of the World" some times its hard to tell them apart tell they speak


----------



## LeftyJ (Dec 8, 2008)

A few years ago, I actually got phonecalls on a regular basis of people with heavy black accents who were looking for Desi Bouterse, a former military leader, coup leader, president and politician from Suriname (the former Dutch Guyana). Apparently his phone number was exactly identical to ours, except all callers forgot to add the Suriname prefix in front of the phone number...


----------



## Daemoniac (Dec 8, 2008)

^ BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


----------



## vampiregenocide (Dec 8, 2008)

I got a phone call, we started chatting. Then I realised I didn't now the guy.

He was like oh sorry man my bad. I just wanted to talk to someone...


----------



## Breakdown (Dec 8, 2008)

One time this guy just called my house drunk as shit and started cursing me and my mom off and i was like 8 or something


----------



## DrakkarTyrannis (Dec 9, 2008)

I work at a hardware store and an old lady called one time asking for right handed shovels...I kid you not. And she was serious. 

The weirdest call? I got a call at 2 am one time and there was no info on the caller id. When I answered a little girl's voice was sobbing and said "He's hidden" there was a weird noise and then she hung up. I wonder what that was about.


----------



## awesomeaustin (Dec 11, 2008)

me: "Brindley's Music"
them: hi, do you guys sell clarinet reeds?"
me: "yes we do, any particular strength, or brand?"
them: "D flat"
me: "I'm sorry, I don't follow"
them: "I need a D flat"
me: "I think you're a little mixed up, there should be anumber on the botto.."
them: "I NEED A D FLAT!"
me: "there is no such thing as a d flat clarinet reed."
them: "oh, my daughter says it a number 2."

some people argue even though they no nothing about what they are trying to buy


----------



## awesomeaustin (Dec 11, 2008)

auxioluck said:


> Funny last names get me every time.
> 
> A recently spoke with a gentleman over the phone name Mr. Manlove.
> 
> ...




I had to call a guy named Wi Tae Poon

"Hello, is Mr. Poon there?"


----------



## ZeroSignal (Dec 11, 2008)

awesomeaustin said:


> me: "Brindley's Music"
> them: hi, do you guys sell clarinet reeds?"
> me: "yes we do, any particular strength, or brand?"
> them: "D flat"
> ...



Dude, this is exactly why I HAVE to work in a music shop.


----------



## petereanima (Dec 11, 2008)

LeftyJ said:


> A few years ago, I actually got phonecalls on a regular basis of people with heavy black accents who were looking for Desi Bouterse, a former military leader, coup leader, president and politician from Suriname (the former Dutch Guyana). Apparently his phone number was exactly identical to ours, except all callers forgot to add the Suriname prefix in front of the phone number...



wait...the name is BUTTARSE? 




 @ myself


----------



## Groff (Dec 15, 2008)

My favorite from when I worked at GC:
Me- Thank you for calling *Guitar Center*, home of the *GUITAR CENTER* performance guarantee!
Customer - Is this Guitar Center?

I get voicemails and calls from people asking for the phone compant. Apparently they don't see the 1-888 before the number... It's always old people. There was one time it was getting so bad I made my voicemail message something like this: "Hello, you've reached Groffs cell phone, that's right, a cell phone. Not the gas company, not ANY company. So if you leave a voicemail saying you need service on your furnace or heater, you're probably fucking retarted and should never call back again."

And you know what? I STILL had people leaving voice mail giving me their address, phone number, and that their heaters weren't working. 

I got pranked a couple of times when I worked at guitar center though:

Me: *usual GC greeting* this is Chris in drums how can I help you?
Him: (sounding almost like beavis) 'Ello? Is theese... De Drums?
Me: Yes it is.
Him: Do you haiv... Timbales?
Me: Yes, we have several types, what are you looking for?
Him: Do you haiv zem in flamingo?
Me: Excuse me?
Him: You know... Flamingo... Like... PINK. (He said pink very punctual and high pitched)
Me: No, i'm sorry they only come in chromed nickel.
Him: (in a normal voice) THEN WHY THE FUCK DID I CALL
And he hung up.

Another good one:

Me: *generic GC greeting blah blah blah*
Him: (Thick russian accent) Hello! My name is Boris Popoff! I am looking for a drums set!
Me: (confused) Alright... What do you have in mind?
Him: Well you see... I'm Russian, so i'd like to find a drums set in red.
Me: (realized this isn't real) Yes sir! In fact we actually have one on sale this month! It's all red, solid Birch construction, and it comes with a free starter pack of cymbals!
Him: Oh that is great! It sounds perfect for me to be beating! I have one more question
Me: Ask me anything!
Him: You see, I am a dirty communist, so does this drums set come with hammer and sycle on it?
Me: Actually, no. But I'll tell you what. If you come in today, ask for me, and purchase the drumset, I will personally draw the hammer and sycle onto the drums for free!
Him: Oh that is wonderful. The Czar will be pleased.
Me: Thank you Mr. Popoff, I look forward to meeting you, down with the Capitalist pigs.
Him. Thank YOU sir. See you soon comrade.


----------



## oompa (Dec 15, 2008)

a funny story about something that started out as a weird call:

back in 9th grade during summer break i got this phonecall from a girl my age who refused to tell me her name. she just said "hi how are you" and i said "umm good, who is this?" she: "umm i wont tell you. what are you doing?" me: whatever i was doing, and she went on. i understood this chick was into me and was a little shy, but i just went along with it since i had just started playing some new videogame so i was home alot for once, and just had the phone in my ear as i was playing.

she started calling regularly (like twice a day) and we talked for hours, she had a portable phone and kept teasing me, i could ask her what she was doing and she was like "im out on cleaning the car in my underwear"  this went on for the 2-3 last weeks of the vacation, every call lasted for hours and she started to break me down, i went from 'whatever' to getting genuinely charmed by her and more or less fell for her 

then last weekend before school started, during a call i heard her friends yelling in the background "<her name> loves you, <her name> loves you" and then i checked her up in the school catalogue and she was smokin hot , i kinda had a hunch, you know how you sometimes can hear on their voice that they're probably good looking? 

school started, this girl was one grade below and i tried to find her a couple of times by her lockers but i didnt have much time, so many things were going on when you are that age, by the weekend there was this big 'back to school party' and i got together with another girl. 

time went on and i never talked to this girl about it, we went to the same upper secondary school and a couple of times we exchanged these looong stares at eachother you know  but she got boyfriends i got girlfriends and time went by. last time i saw her while being single was about 3 years ago around christmas, it was about 7 years since that summer thing and she was totally friggin beautiful. 

she had blossomed into this gorgeous gorgeous lady, and i think i spent all that evening daydreaming away a perfectly good christmas party about how life would have been if i ever asked her if she wanted to go out with me back then


----------



## Randy (Dec 15, 2008)

TheMissing said:


> My favorite from when I worked at GC:
> Me- Thank you for calling *Guitar Center*, home of the *GUITAR CENTER* performance guarantee!
> Customer - Is this Guitar Center?
> 
> ...



*In Soviet Russia, crankcall-ie jokes with YOU! *


----------



## ZeroSignal (Dec 15, 2008)

You know... I didn't think I could really take part in this thread in any meaningful capacity but after reading Oompa's post it reminded me of one night having the phone ring at 12 midnight or 1 in the morning or something ridiculous like that.

I was wide awake at the time and I answered assuming it was a prank call but the girl on the other end of the line said she met me at a party a couple of nights ago and when she started giving me scarily accurate details of what happened that night so I kind of guessed that she wasn't a prank caller. Now I gave loads of people my number that night but I knew exactly who to (because I don't drink, innit) and she was insisting that I knew her but to be honest, I hadn't a bloody clue who this person was.

From the sound of her voice on the phone she sounded like she just wanted a chat (at midnight? ) but I had to drop the conversation because it was stupidly late, and I said I'd text her the next day. I kinda felt bad about having to just basically tell her to go away, though...

Anyway, so I texted EVERYONE I knew at the party asking if they knew [insert name here] and nobody had ever heard of her before. This is fricking crazy because I'm trying to figure out who this person is, how they got my name and number and how they got very intimate details of the goings on at that party... 

Gentlemen. Bricks were shat...


----------



## TonalArchitect (Dec 15, 2008)

Randy said:


> *In Soviet Russia, crankcall-ie jokes with YOU! *



IN SOVIET RUSSIA, *PHONE DIALS YOU! *


----------



## twiztedchild (Dec 15, 2008)

ZeroSignal said:


> You know... I didn't think I could really take part in this thread in any meaningful capacity but after reading Oompa's post it reminded me of one night having the phone ring at 12 midnight or 1 in the morning or something ridiculous like that.
> 
> I was wide awake at the time and I answered assuming it was a prank call but the girl on the other end of the line said she met me at a party a couple of nights ago and when she started giving me scarily accurate details of what happened that night so I kind of guessed that she wasn't a prank caller. Now I gave loads of people my number that night but I knew exactly who to (because I don't drink, innit) and she was insisting that I knew her but to be honest, I hadn't a bloody clue who this person was.
> 
> ...



Kind of reminds me of when I was in Job Corps down in Miami. I was in the barraks/what ever they call it now. (Was an old Miltary base) just watching tv at like 11pm and the phone rings. I was the only one in the TV room besides the RM guy, so I picked it up and said "Hello?" this chick started talking to me asking me if I wanted to "Fuck her" and I was 17 at the time and VERY VERY SHY  but we talked for like 20 minutes and she was telling me she know what room I stayed in and what I looked like and a bunch of stuff like that. THEN I heard a guy, most likely one of my roommates either trying to get me laid or just messing with me. tell her some more stuff about me. and it was just crazy 


Maybe I should have told her to come on and lets get busy


----------



## MFB (Dec 16, 2008)

I got a call at work yesterday that went something like this :

Me : Thank you for calling Walgreens, this is Ben, how may I help you?
Them : Are you a manager?
Me : No, but I may be able to help you, what's your question?
Them : How much will your copies of Mamma Mia be selling for?
(I'm baffled by this seeing as how she asked for a _manager_)
Me : When we get our movies in they immediately go on sale for $22.99 ma'am. Along with this there is usually a $3 off coupon in that weeks flyer.
Them : Are you sure about this?
Me : Yes ma'am, $22.99 is the retail price for our DVD's here unless otherwise marked
Them : OK, just to be safe can you connect me to a manager

So, as asked I connect her to a manager who picks up the call about 10 feet away from me and does the routine blah, blah, blah

He looks at me and goes "Fuck man, next time just answer the question" and I told him I did and how she wanted to be connected to a manager anyways "just to be sure" and he was like "God damn retards"


----------



## twiztedchild (Dec 16, 2008)

MFB said:


> I got a call at work yesterday that went something like this :
> 
> Me : Thank you for calling Walgreens, this is Ben, how may I help you?
> Them : Are you a manager?
> ...



 you manger seems cool in a way


----------



## MFB (Dec 16, 2008)

He's pretty cool, he's into comics and shit and metal so I can actually like have conversations with him

He also got me into Nikes which are now like the only shoe style I'll wear


----------



## twiztedchild (Dec 16, 2008)

MFB said:


> He's pretty cool, he's into comics and shit and metal so I can actually like have conversations with him
> 
> He also got me into Nikes which are now like the only shoe style I'll wear



thats cool man


----------



## AVWIII (Dec 16, 2008)

Adventures in internet tech support. I'll see if I can remember this one correctly

Started out pretty normal. Some dude wanting to know what was up with his broadband speed. I get all the info, a little troubleshooting, and then he starts:
"Yeah. You seem pretty cool man. not like them. They broke my ace frehley."
me: "What?"
"Ace frehley"
me:"Ace frehley from kiss?"
"Yeah. they fucking broke him"
I'm intrigued...
me:"Who broke him?"
"My neighbour's kids when I was 12. I check ebay all the time but I can't find another one."
me:"oh."
"Yeah man I had tickets and everything. you know Detroit! ROCK CITY!"
"I see... well you signal strength is looking pretty decent..."
We troubleshoot again for about 5 mins and then back to the crazy:
"Cool man. I really gotta start getting back to work on my water tanks. You know, for when they come."
"uh..."
"and when they come they're just gonna tear you to shreds. That's why we (in michigan) are bringing the water, and everyone in the midwest will bring the food. That way we can last it out. We'll use freight trains to transport everything, cause they can't stop us!"
He then found out I was from canada, talked about rush for 10 minutes, said something about ace frehley again, thanked me so much, and wished me luck in the impending apocalypse.


----------



## eleven59 (Dec 16, 2008)

AVWIII said:


> Adventures in internet tech support. I'll see if I can remember this one correctly
> 
> Started out pretty normal. Some dude wanting to know what was up with his broadband speed. I get all the info, a little troubleshooting, and then he starts:
> "Yeah. You seem pretty cool man. not like them. They broke my ace frehley."
> ...



 I gotta start wishing people luck in the impending apocalypse from now on  Maybe I'll use that line on stage at the Black Dahlia show this Friday 

My singer got a weird call the other day:

Him (seeing local number he doesn't recognize): Hello?
Guy on Phone: Hey man. 
Him: Hey, who is this?
Guy: Ben.
Him: Ben who?
Guy: Ben Finland
Him: I don't know anyone named Ben Finland.
Guy: Really? That's cool man, anyway, I gotta get going, I'm really busy.
Him: Uh...you called me.
Guy: Yeah man, see ya later.
Him: Uh...bye.

So now, anytime his phone rings, we ask if it's Ben Finland


----------



## vampiregenocide (Dec 16, 2008)

oompa said:


> a funny story about something that started out as a weird call:
> 
> back in 9th grade during summer break i got this phonecall from a girl my age who refused to tell me her name. she just said "hi how are you" and i said "umm good, who is this?" she: "umm i wont tell you. what are you doing?" me: whatever i was doing, and she went on. i understood this chick was into me and was a little shy, but i just went along with it since i had just started playing some new videogame so i was home alot for once, and just had the phone in my ear as i was playing.
> 
> ...



Lol thats kinda sweet


----------



## BlindingLight7 (Dec 16, 2008)

me: hello?.......(its 6 am...wtf)
girl: hey sexy
me:.......my penis is small
girl: hangs up


----------



## ZeroSignal (Dec 16, 2008)




----------



## eleven59 (Dec 16, 2008)

BlindingLight7 said:


> me: hello?.......(its 6 am...wtf)
> girl: hey sexy
> me:.......my penis is small
> girl: hangs up



That seems like the wrong approach


----------



## hairychris (Dec 17, 2008)

I had some irate bloke phone up saying that I'd threatened to kill his teenage daughter.

That was weird, and a bit disturbing.

Wrong number, btw.


----------



## twiztedchild (Dec 17, 2008)

hairychris said:


> I had some irate bloke phone up saying that I'd threatened to kill his teenage daughter.
> 
> That was weird, and a bit disturbing.
> 
> Wrong number, btw.





Or Was it?


 Just messing with you man.


----------



## Luan (Dec 17, 2008)

Man I JUST received the weirderst call ever.
Me: hi
and then this kid (something like 8 years old) says HI!!
Me: who are you?
he: I'm trino
Me: wrong number
he: No, is just that I want to know you

Then I hung the phone and remember this thread


----------



## BlindingLight7 (Dec 17, 2008)

eleven59 said:


> That seems like the wrong approach


dude it was 6am!!!


----------



## twiztedchild (Dec 17, 2008)

Luan said:


> Man I JUST received the weirderst call ever.
> Me: hi
> and then this kid (something like 8 years old) says HI!!
> Me: who are you?
> ...


 crazy lttle 8 year olds



BlindingLight7 said:


> dude it was 6am!!!




You COULD have at least told her to wait till like 10am or something


----------



## BlindingLight7 (Dec 17, 2008)

twiztedchild said:


> crazy lttle 8 year olds
> 
> 
> 
> ...


but i didnt know who it was........and sleep was more importqant then kim jung el in one of his "me so ronery" phases


----------



## twiztedchild (Dec 17, 2008)

BlindingLight7 said:


> but i didnt know who it was........and sleep was more importqant then kim jung el in one of his "me so ronery" phases



 yeah I can understand taht I'm like that alot also


----------



## CatPancakes (Dec 22, 2008)

i work at a little conveinience stor only one person working at a time, 11-7 is my shift.

11:30-get a call from a man speaking spanish
me:me no hablo espanol.
him: no hablo espanol?
me-no senior
him(in poor heavily accented english: anyone there who can?
me: no senior
him: gasolina in el carro blah blah blah blah.
me: no hablo espanol
him: *click*


2:00
Me-Hello safeway fuel station, james speaking
him-*speaks spanish rapidly*
me- no hablo espanol
him-click

6:00
Me-Hello safeway fuel station, james speaking
him-*spanish*
me-no hablo espanol-
him- *sings in spanish for about 30 seconds*
me- sir singing will not help me understand you
him-*starts singing again*
me- Mi nessecita pescallo!
him-que?
me-no hablo espanol
him FUCK*click*


----------



## Luan (Dec 22, 2008)

he said he needed fish..?


----------



## CatPancakes (Dec 22, 2008)

No, i yelled it into the phone, only spanish phrase i know


----------



## vampiregenocide (Dec 23, 2008)

CatPancakes said:


> No, i yelled it into the phone, only spanish phrase i know


----------



## twiztedchild (Dec 24, 2008)

Luan said:


> he said he needed fish..?





CatPancakes said:


> No, i yelled it into the phone, only spanish phrase i know


----------



## Luan (Dec 24, 2008)




----------



## CatPancakes (Dec 24, 2008)

i dont think it helped the issue


----------



## Zepp88 (Dec 24, 2008)

Just keep repeating "Piso mojado" eventually the person on the line will slip and fall, thus terminating the unfortunate conversation.


----------



## Jason (Dec 24, 2008)

I could have yelled alot of spanish stuff in the phone.. Would just pissed him off tho


----------



## Jason (Dec 24, 2008)

Zepp88 said:


> Just keep repeating "Piso mojado" eventually the person on the line will slip and fall, thus terminating the unfortunate conversation.


----------



## Zepp88 (Dec 24, 2008)

I knew some one would get it


----------



## Luan (Dec 25, 2008)

I understand but didn't got the joke =p


----------



## Groff (Dec 27, 2008)

Luan said:


> I understand but didn't got the joke =p









On a side note... I found this while image searching for Piso Mojado:






As well as this:






There's also a lot of NSFW 
How do you get pr0n from "piso mojado"?!


----------



## twiztedchild (Dec 27, 2008)

Well...From "Carefully" Examining the second pic...........I figure because of that. and Wet Floor could also be like a Key word or something. Im drawing a blank on the right word  for that NSFW stuff


----------



## bulletbass man (Dec 27, 2008)

With the holidays and then my bosses father dying and her and her family (whom basically run the store) I've had to work more hours in one week than I usually do 2-3. 

Also since with the exception of a girl whom hardly speaks english I've worked there by far the longest amount of time I got to take all the crazy peoples phonecalls. Also since there are far more phonecalls than we usually get so I'll dish out a few of the better ones.

Yesterday

lady: Can I speak to the owner please I have a complaint.
Coworker (named Jimmy for fun): She is not here today.
lady: why not? it's her store isn't it?
Jimmy: She's at her father's funeral
Lady: Put on whom ever is in charge then.
Me: Hello, how can I help you?
lady: Can you put on the owner please?
me: As Jimmy just said she is unavailable as she is at her father's funeral. Either you can talk to me, have me take a message, or call back tomorrow
lady: I'll leave a message
me: Ok what is it?
lady: Earlier when someone picked up the phone they said italien deli rather than italien bakery so I hung up since I thought I dialed the wrong number.
me: uh ok I'll write that down but you do relize we sell both deli items as well as baked goods right?
lady: I'll call back tomorrow

more shall come at a later time.

my friend works in a UPS store. So one time I was there picking him up and the guy on the line asks "I want to ship a car however It must be shipped overnight. How much will that cost?"

friend: Hold on, allow me to connect you with my manager as I have no idea?

Manager: "Damn't Carl I'm not going to ship your fucking car". Hangs up.

friend: who was that?

Manager: No fucking clue.


----------



## Groff (Dec 29, 2008)

DrakkarTyrannis said:


> I work at a hardware store and an old lady called one time asking for right handed shovels...I kid you not. And she was serious.



I got asked for left handed guitar polish before. Me and my friend worked at a craft store, and he was asked if we had glue that was sticky on both sides.  Funny thing is, without question, he knew she was asking for that sticky tac stuff (The blue play dough like stuff teachers used to use to put stuff on walls etc...)


----------

