# Stage fright- how to avoid?



## sPliNtEr_777 (Jun 23, 2009)

ive been in a band for a year or so now and we are ready to perform, but the lead guitarist in the band, reuben, refuses out-right to play live due to "a bad experience" in the past. obviously i cant force him to play if he doesnt want to, but we are now in our last year of school, and we go to a school that is famous for its student gigs (one of our bands WON orange live and unsigned or something like that), so I dont really want to leave without showing our school (full of little indie-emo shits) that metal fucking kills all their shitty little pop. Not to metion reuben is, in the words of my guitar tutor, the best player he has ever seen from our school, which is a hell of a statement. its a shame to waste his talent, especially when i consider how well we mesh as unison players- scarified in time without a drummer, need i say more? Ive done a lot of live work as a vocalist and never as a guitarist, so Im missing out too. Much like abi and liam (bass and drums), who have played live a lot but never in a metal band, so they lose out too...

does anyone have any suggestions for how I can convince him that he is missing out massively by not performing live???? After all life's for the livin'...

cheers guys


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## Scar Symmetry (Jun 23, 2009)

he has to want to do it.

if he doesn't want to play live ever again then get a new guitarist as your band will never get anywhere without playing shows, regardless of how good your guitarist is.

if he wants to do it really and is just being a big girl's blouse then tell him to man up and take the next show that's offered to you


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## arktan (Jun 23, 2009)

Life is a battlefield. Fight every fear you can. Tell him to stop being lazy and that other people (the whole band) count on him. You guys are a band and band's are supposed to

1. Rehearse (okay, you probably do that)
2. Play gigs
3. Stick toghether
4. Play gigs
5. Play gigs
6. Rehearse
7. Stick toghether
8. Play gigs

If he refuses to play gigs he's defying rule number 2, 3, 4, 5, 7 and 8.
I don't know about his backstory but hell, even war-victims can get their whole lifes back toghether again so it CAN NOT be such a bad experience that he'll never play a show again.
Was he raped onstage or did his whole family get killed because of him playing a show or what?


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## Scar Symmetry (Jun 23, 2009)

arktan said:


> Was he raped onstage or did his whole family get killed because of him playing a show or what?



he was raped by Mr Mistoffelees... fucking actors.


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## petereanima (Jun 23, 2009)

on my first gig ever, i was jumping, and while i as in the air, my not-security-locks-equipped strap got loose, and when i landed i head the guitar in one hand doing some ninja performance to catch it. 1 song later our singer (we were doing some more melodic stuff back then) was singing so bad, our drummer stopped playing, stood up, pointed at him and laughed his ass off. our bassist stopped during one song and asked "what song is this?". he stopped one song later becasue he lost his cigarette, picked it up, re-lightened it, then started to play again....at the point where he stopped. i stumbled over the guitar cable.

as this was a big local fest going on, there were over 1000 people watching.

come, tell me about his bad experience. 

and i got over it pretty fast and i've played hundereds of gigs meanwhile. and if I can do it, he can do as well.


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## ralphy1976 (Jun 23, 2009)

that is awesome..especially knowing that your CD is out now!!!! i mean, talk about a turnaround!!!!


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## Scar Symmetry (Jun 23, 2009)

my first ever gig was with Dead To Fall, Through The Eyes of the Dead and Ion Dissonance!

needless to say I was fucked with nerves and Ion Dissonance absolutely destroyed all the bands, especially us, but once you've got past that first hurdle (and when you're that nervous time goes by very quickly) it's all downhill from there.

like I said over on ESP, tell him to grow some goddamn balls.


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## ralphy1976 (Jun 23, 2009)

i can not sing, my guitar abilities, are..well..how can i put it...well crap really, but to be honest with you i'd really like to be on stage and give it a go, must be great to have people there ready to give you a chance...

Talk to him, as a group, if your group is important than all of you shoudl talk, not shout, not argue, but try to see if you can do something about it.

if he is a stubborn pussy who hasn't the minerals to show those emo twats what music is all about, tell him he is just as bad as them and kick him out....then say goodbye to your school music thingy....


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## 74n4LL0 (Jun 23, 2009)

arktan said:


> Life is a battlefield. Fight every fear you can. Tell him to stop being lazy and that other people (the whole band) count on him. You guys are a band and band's are supposed to
> 
> 1. Rehearse (okay, you probably do that)
> 2. Play gigs
> ...



+ 1
try to speak with him.
and also all the band should talk to him convincing him to play.
and you all must tell him that playing gigs is a priority.


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## DrakkarTyrannis (Jun 23, 2009)

My first gig was actually a show I put together for the local extreme metal bands. Was I nervous, especially because I was going on in front of my peers? Yes..did we fuck up..yes...badly...yes...was it fun...hell yes.

When people are into your music it makes the whole thing worthwhile, and once I was onstage, it just felt natural..the fear went away. Another thing is, with a band, that's who your security is. They are up there with you going through the same thing. It's you all against them. Always makes me feel better. When I got them with me I know I've got backing and they feel the same way..I trust them. They're gonna do their part and I'll do mine and things will work fine.


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## JJ Rodriguez (Jun 23, 2009)

Scar Symmetry said:


> my first ever gig was with Dead To Fall, Through The Eyes of the Dead and Ion Dissonance!
> 
> needless to say I was fucked with nerves and Ion Dissonance absolutely destroyed all the bands, especially us, but once you've got past that first hurdle (and when you're that nervous time goes by very quickly) it's all downhill from there.
> 
> like I said over on ESP, tell him to grow some goddamn balls.



That's funny, my first show was opening up for Ion Dissonance too


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## newamerikangospel (Jun 23, 2009)

My first gig was at our senior party. We had a bassist/guitar player (he would trade off depending on the song, like guitar on man in the box, bass on stinkfist  ), a guy that we didn't even ask to join the band singing, he just showed up with a P.A.  . And that isn't even the worst part!

I grew up in smalltown kansas, town of 400, county of 26,000, and graduation class of 130 kids. We were playing on a wooden gooseneck trailer, in a 30 acre field, powered by a generator (our "fifth" member, because that little bastard was too damn noisy) and with a motorcycle headlight as our lightshow. A thunderstorm was rolling just east of us, close enough to be windy and we could see the flashes of lightning, but far enough away we didn't get wet (maybe 30-50 miles east of us). We got four songs in, a group of kids come rushing up and around the stage, then run out into the field and lay down in the long grass  . We were all 18, drinking, and the cops (county sherrifs because it was such a small town) came up on us, and shut us (the band) down. We were 15 feet inside city limits. They didn't shut down the party, and congratulated us on graduating, but asked that we keep the music down. I had a half stack, and this 40lb pedal board I made in welding class, and two guitars, all crammed into this little nissan pickup (the cab was in the passenger seat  ). I spent the rest of the night in that little pickup, trying to sleep. 

Good memories man.


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## Scar Symmetry (Jun 23, 2009)

JJ Rodriguez said:


> That's funny, my first show was opening up for Ion Dissonance too



they were so tight man. I've played with hundreds of bands knowing that whichever band I was in at the time put on a better show than the rest of the bands we played with, but Ion Dissonance took the fucking biscuit.

tightest band I've ever seen live bar none, even tighter than Necrophagist


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## AvantGuardian (Jun 23, 2009)

Tell your guitarist that the sooner you guys play a live gig, the sooner he can stop saying his last live experience was terrible.

Seriously, everyone has bad gigs, but the great ones make up for them by a long shot.


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## rvai (Jun 23, 2009)

A great gig makes up for like 10 shitty gigs, plus, if you are confident in your skills then theres nothing to worry about.
To me playing a gig is like the reason to practise and show off haha, it honestly feels great, I always feel like I fucked up little things but no one seems to notice so it´s ok..


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