# Play guitar well enough to get Laid (I haven't been laid in years)!!



## Demeyes (Apr 16, 2009)

Learning Guitar to Get Laid - CollegeHumor Video

I've got friends who can literally only play Wonderwall!


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## DaveCarter (Apr 16, 2009)

Believe it or not, that genuinely works at festivals...


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## Justin Bailey (Apr 16, 2009)

so I own that same wallet and always carry a pick in it.


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## Konfyouzd (Apr 16, 2009)

you know what? that makes me really upset because i knew guys just like that in college. and i was that good in 7th grade. hasn't gotten me laid once. i actually do generally have a pick in pretty much all of my pockets, but that's actually because i put it there cuz i was playing a guitar recently. FUCK. how is it that only guys that suck at guitar get laid because of it? </rant>


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## yevetz (Apr 16, 2009)




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## stuh84 (Apr 16, 2009)

Konfyouzd said:


> you know what? that makes me really upset because i knew guys just like that in college. and i was that good in 7th grade. hasn't gotten me laid once. i actually do generally have a pick in pretty much all of my pockets, but that's actually because i put it there cuz i was playing a guitar recently. FUCK. how is it that only guys that suck at guitar get laid because of it? </rant>



How often do the girls see you play?

Its worked for me before


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## Konfyouzd (Apr 16, 2009)

stuh84 said:


> How often do the girls see you play?
> 
> Its worked for me before



a lot actually... it's just usually the douche in the polo shirt w/ the acoustic guitar that he said his grandpa gave him who sings sensitive songs about rainbows and unicorns that gets laid... 

i mean i'm not a straight up metal player, but i definitely have more skils than douchebags like that. it seems that complex music is completely lost on girls... uggh... i'm ranting again. don't get me started.


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## stuh84 (Apr 16, 2009)

Haha, all I do is play some nice spanish sounding arpeggiated chords, and its pretty much the same effect as a year in a gym or an expensive car.


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## ilyti (Apr 16, 2009)

The more I see things like this the more I thankful I am for having a girlfriend who apreciates good music. Not that she likes my playing that much...


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## mattofvengeance (Apr 16, 2009)

Konfyouzd said:


> you know what? that makes me really upset because i knew guys just like that in college. and i was that good in 7th grade. hasn't gotten me laid once. i actually do generally have a pick in pretty much all of my pockets, but that's actually because i put it there cuz i was playing a guitar recently. FUCK. how is it that only guys that suck at guitar get laid because of it? </rant>


 
I can assure you that it doesn't just work for dudes who can't play the guitar.


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## RenegadeDave (Apr 16, 2009)

Clearly it hasn't worked because you don't have a purple polo shirt on.


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## thedonutman (Apr 16, 2009)

stuh84 said:


> Haha, all I do is play some nice spanish sounding arpeggiated chords, and its pretty much the *same effect as a year in a gym or an expensive car.*





I think I need to find some nice sounding arpeggiated spanish chords......

I love the bit about how to play bass and not get laid.


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## wannabguitarist (Apr 16, 2009)

Konfyouzd said:


> you know what? that makes me really upset because i knew guys just like that in college. and i was that good in 7th grade. hasn't gotten me laid once. i actually do generally have a pick in pretty much all of my pockets, but that's actually because i put it there cuz i was playing a guitar recently. FUCK. how is it that only guys that suck at guitar get laid because of it? </rant>



You're doing something wrong then, learn some Death Cab, make up some nice acoustic stuff of your own, and start practicing the fingerpicking (they seem to like this). 

Do not play death metal! Sure they may think "wow he's good" but they really don't care. You're gonna get more dudes than girls around if you start chugging along. If you have an electric play blues or pretty jazzy things

Beer also helps


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## Konfyouzd (Apr 16, 2009)

maybe if i didn't spend so much time practicing i'd actually get laid... 

and no... no death metal for the ladies... 
but i also can't bring myself to play death cab either. i feel like it's unfair to my guitars.


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## BlindingLight7 (Apr 16, 2009)

I've definitely have had girls into me cuz i play guy/band then they see me then there like eww 

.... ='(



Konfyouzd said:


> maybe if i didn't spend so much time practicing i'd actually get laid...
> 
> and no... no death metal for the ladies...
> but i also can't bring myself to play death cab either. i feel like it's unfair to my guitars.


well.....you DO have hands...


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## yingmin (Apr 16, 2009)

Konfyouzd said:


> i mean i'm not a straight up metal player, but i definitely have more skils than douchebags like that. it seems that complex music is completely lost on girls... uggh... i'm ranting again. don't get me started.


You're trying to understand women from a logical perspective. The sooner you realize what a mistake this is, the happier you will be.


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## BlindingLight7 (Apr 16, 2009)

girls are mysteries to men.
men are mysteries to women.

it's what you call uh....i dunno....anatomy or some shit....


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## Konfyouzd (Apr 16, 2009)

yingmin said:


> You're trying to understand women from a logical perspective. The sooner you realize what a mistake this is, the happier you will be.



something tells me you're probably right...


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## Variant (Apr 16, 2009)

Konfyouzd said:


> maybe if i didn't spend so much time practicing i'd actually get laid...
> 
> and no... no death metal for the ladies...
> but i also can't bring myself to play death cab either. i feel like it's unfair to my guitars.



 Why not learn some good acoustic songs, that way you don't have to help toilet stains like Oasis get any more popular than they already are? Testament's ballads come to mind, like 'Return To Serenity', 'The Legacy', or 'Trail Of Tears'. James Murphy and Death Angel have stellar acoustic pieces as well.


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## Konfyouzd (Apr 16, 2009)

BlindingLight7 said:


> I've definitely have had girls into me cuz i play guy/band then they see me then there like eww
> 
> .... ='(
> 
> well.....you DO have hands...



 

they've been quite faithful too...



Variant said:


> Why not learn some good acoustic songs, that way you don't have to help toilet stains like Oasis get any more popular than they already are? Testament's ballads come to mind, like 'Return To Serenity', 'The Legacy', or 'Trail Of Tears'. James Murphy and Death Angel have stellar acoustic pieces as well.



oh i've written several acoustic songs. good ones too. they tend to like my songs... they just don't wanna do me as a result...

my writing is quite diverse. i'm not sure that's the problem. i think it's more the image women are attracted to which is something i'm not capable of pulling off... i refuse to, rather


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## RenegadeDave (Apr 16, 2009)

yingmin said:


> You're trying to understand women from a logical perspective. The sooner you realize what a mistake this is, the happier you will be.



QFT.

My girlfriend has mood swings/hyper sensitive when it's that time of the month, I started referring to this jokingly as "being squishy" (we were playing Warhammer Online together at the time and as any nerd can tell you, cloth casters are referred to as squishy).

We were eating lunch on the couch and were disagreeing about something to which I said 

"Wow you're extra squishy today" (she had admitted earlier that she was)
"I'm not squishy, you're the one who is slurping his soup" (we were eating soup, it was hot so I was slurping it I guess. 

Logic. Profound.


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## wannabguitarist (Apr 16, 2009)

Konfyouzd said:


> maybe if i didn't spend so much time practicing i'd actually get laid...
> 
> and no... no death metal for the ladies...
> but i also can't bring myself to play death cab either. i feel like it's unfair to my guitars.



Dude Death Cab is awesome, and I'm being serious here. You're gonna want to learn songs that people know the words too (like the video ). Even if it doesn't get you any girls it's fun to play at parties and have people sing along to the stuff you're playing


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## Konfyouzd (Apr 16, 2009)

wannabguitarist said:


> Dude Death Cab is awesome, and I'm being serious here. You're gonna want to learn songs that people know the words too (like the video :idea). Even if it doesn't get you any girls it's fun to play at parties and have people sing along to the stuff you're playing



yea i dig what you're saying. i know plenty of songs that people will recognize i'm just tired of playing covers. i did that when i was first learning to play and that's all the guys at the parties that play oasis covers seem like to me. guys who don't know their instrument. i feel a much greater sense of accomplishment when someone is impressed by an original composition than playing a song that 10,000 other guys looked up the tabs for. 

then again... im still not getting laid for it, so i guess the simplest solution is best...? (ockham's razor?) 

i guess the key is not to play it well, per se, but to play it JUST well enough to get laid... as the title of this thread so aptly put it.


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## Variant (Apr 16, 2009)

Konfyouzd said:


> my writing is quite diverse. i'm not sure that's the problem. i think it's more the image women are attracted to which is something i'm not capable of pulling off... i refuse to, rather



I dunno, I've been playing for years (not to say I cart my guitar out to public places or bust one out a party all that often) and I've never gotten much of a response from it... maybe _*once*_ from a girl that was already interested in me. It thing the thing illustrated in the College Humor thing is largely a myth, like the expensive car thing. I've owned a Viper and a Lotus Elise and I can count on my thumbs the number of times a girl's approached me based on it. I really don't think they care that much.


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## Konfyouzd (Apr 16, 2009)

Variant said:


> I dunno, I've been playing for years (not to say I cart my guitar out to public places or bust one out a party all that often) and I've never gotten much of a response from it... maybe _*once*_ from a girl that was already interested in me. It thing the thing illustrated in the College Humor thing is largely a myth, like the expensive car thing. I've owned a Viper and a Lotus Elise and I can count on my thumbs the number of times a girl's approached me based on it. I really don't think they care that much.



not unless you wear a pastel colored polo with a popped collar. extra points for multiple shirts with their collars popped simultaneously.


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## synrgy (Apr 16, 2009)

In my personal experience, when it comes to 'band dudes', chicks go for;

Drummers first (I guess they figure good percussive rythm = good bedroom rythm?..), then singers, then guitar players, then bass players. Poor bass players..

That's just how it works.

My friends and I tried to test the 'play a super lame but super popular acoustic-ish song and they will come' theory in high school, playing stuff like DMB's "crash into me" and Pearl Jam's "black" or "elderly woman behind the counter in a small town", but it never worked. I mean, the chicks would seem happy that we were playing stuff they knew, but they weren't exactly throwing their panties at us.

I've personally never pulled anything as a direct result of playing music. The closest I've been to it is once when I had a great half day or so of humping immediately after a long night of live DJing once, but the girl I was with wasn't even at the show I played, so it was definitely unrelated. 

I've had some chicks tell me things like "When you play guitar it sounds like you're singing through it", which really makes my day, but they never seem to punctuate the comment with "So, let's fuck!"


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## Konfyouzd (Apr 16, 2009)

^ 

precisely


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## synrgy (Apr 16, 2009)

Konfyouzd said:


> extra points for multiple shirts with their collars popped simultaneously.


 






http://media.ebaumsworld.com/picture/teeg420/4_popped-collars_cool.jpg


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## wannabguitarist (Apr 16, 2009)

^oh god 



Konfyouzd said:


> yea i dig what you're saying. i know plenty of songs that people will recognize i'm just tired of playing covers. i did that when i was first learning to play and that's all the guys at the parties that play oasis covers seem like to me. guys who don't know their instrument. i feel a much greater sense of accomplishment when someone is impressed by an original composition than playing a song that 10,000 other guys looked up the tabs for.
> 
> then again... im still not getting laid for it, so i guess the simplest solution is best...? (ockham's razor?)
> 
> i guess the key is not to play it well, per se, but to play it JUST well enough to get laid... as the title of this thread so aptly put it.



That totally makes sense, the important is just have fun doing it. Don't be the jackass that plays guitar at parties just because he thinks it will get him girls

Actually don't play guitar if you're just doing it to get girls. There is something so wrong about that


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## Variant (Apr 16, 2009)

I've been known to wear Calvin Klien, Piere Cardin, etc. but, um... no collar popping. Must be what I've been doing wrong all these years.


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## wannabguitarist (Apr 16, 2009)

Variant said:


> I've owned a Viper and a Lotus Elise



Wait, it says owned. WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU GET RID OF AN ELISE!?!?


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## Konfyouzd (Apr 16, 2009)

looking at those pics is like college all over again. hahaha



wannabguitarist said:


> Actually don't play guitar if you're just doing it to get girls. There is something so wrong about that





that's my philosophy. that's exactly why i hate that those kinds of guys actually do get laid for it!


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## Variant (Apr 16, 2009)

synrgy said:


> Drummers first (I guess they figure good percussive rythm = good bedroom rythm?..), then singers, then guitar players, then bass players. Poor bass players..



I've _*never*_ met a girl who said she was into drummers (bedroom rhythem? WTF. Fingering guys, its about fingering).  I was always under the impression that it was singer > lead guitarist > rhythm guitarist > bass player > etc. That's why, guys, always get an ugly signer.


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## Konfyouzd (Apr 16, 2009)

i think this thread proves that women have no idea why they choose us. maybe they make it up on the spot... 
or maybe i should get some lavender polo shirts... hahahah


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## Variant (Apr 16, 2009)

wannabguitarist said:


> Wait, it says owned. WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU GET RID OF AN ELISE!?!?




Don't taunt me, I miss that fuckin' car.  I basically wasn't happy with how life was going (job, location, friends, social life, etc.) so I uprooted and sold the cars to have some capital to work with while I took a sabbatical and eventually relocated here to Portland. That said, the last two years since doing so have been the most miserable ones in my life, so yeah... but we'll not get into that. I figure moving ahead is better than sitting an your proverbial laurels and being unhappy.


Edit: You know, this thread is really an indicator that the separation of metalguitarist.org is complete, as there has been no mention of Drew's pink polo some 35 posts.


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## wannabguitarist (Apr 16, 2009)

Konfyouzd said:


> that's my philosophy. that's exactly why i hate that those kinds of guys actually do get laid for it!



Well those guys would probably end up with a girl at the end of the night anyways, they just use music as another tool. You do have to talk to the girl at some point during the night. Sadly playing for an hour then nodding your head towards a bedroom doesn't work 



Variant said:


> I've _*never*_ met a girl who said she was into drummers (bedroom rhythem? WTF. Fingering guys, its about fingering).  I was always under the impression that it was singer > lead guitarist > rhythm guitarist > bass player > etc. That's why, guys, always get an ugly signer.



New idea: do lots of tapping and other shit that shows the dexterity of your right and left hand fingers 



Variant said:


> Don't taunt me, I miss that fuckin' car.  I basically wasn't happy with how life was going (job, location, friends, social life, etc.) so I uprooted and sold the cars to have some capital to work with while I took a sabbatical and eventually relocated here to Portland. That said, the last two years since doing so have been the most miserable ones in my life, so yeah... but we'll not get into that. I figure moving ahead is better than sitting an your proverbial laurels and being unhappy.



You gotta do whatever makes you happy. Hopefully things get better (buy another Elise!)


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## wannabguitarist (Apr 16, 2009)

Variant said:


> Edit: You know, this thread is really an indicator that the separation of metalguitarist.org is complete, as there has been no mention of Drew's pink polo some 35 posts.



Oh shit


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## Konfyouzd (Apr 16, 2009)

wannabguitarist said:


> Well those guys would probably end up with a girl at the end of the night anyways, they just use music as another tool. You do have to talk to the girl at some point during the night. Sadly playing for an hour then nodding your head towards a bedroom doesn't work



what has this world come to?


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## Variant (Apr 16, 2009)

wannabguitarist said:


> Well those guys would probably end up with a girl at the end of the night anyways, they just use music as another tool. You do have to talk to the girl at some point during the night. Sadly playing for an hour then nodding your head towards a bedroom doesn't work



Actually, I'm gonna disagree with you here. I think that within a very short period of time of meeting you most women have decided weather they're gonna fuck you or not. It just depends on the woman on *how long* its going to be before they give you the all clear. There are certainly a few women out there that would go for the above, but it's probably not most. 



> You gotta do whatever makes you happy. Hopefully things get better (buy another Elise!)



Thanks man. I don't tend to use the forum too much as a sounding board for my woes... but yeah, I took a 60&#37; pay cut when I finally found a job out here, went from living in a nice house in suburbia to a crappy apartment in a crappy part of town, then _*quit*_ said vampire of a job back in September and have been unemployed since... going on eight months now.  I've had a single interview early on, and not a single thing since. There's other shit in there including a cancer scare, relationship issues, depression, etc. etc. On the other hand, though I haven't made shit for friends out here, I met a couple of cool guys who I'm working on music with which has been fun as it was nearly impossible to meet other musicians back in Phoenix.


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## Konfyouzd (Apr 16, 2009)

Variant said:


> Thanks man. I don't tend to use the forum too much as a sounding board for my woes... but yeah, I took a 60% pay cut when I finally found a job out here, went from living in a nice house in suburbia to a crappy apartment in a crappy part of town, then _*quit*_ said vampire of a job back in September and have been unemployed since... going on eight months now.  I've had a single interview early on, and not a single thing since. There's other shit in there including a cancer scare, relationship issues, depression, etc. etc. On the other hand, though I haven't made shit for friends out here, I met a couple of cool guys who I'm working on music with which has been fun as it was nearly impossible to meet other musicians back in Phoenix.



... fuck


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## DaveCarter (Apr 16, 2009)

Variant said:


> Actually, I'm gonna disagree with you here. I think that within a very short period of time of meeting you most women have decided weather they're gonna fuck you or not. It just depends on the woman on *how long* its going to be before they give you the all clear. *There are certainly a few women out there that would go for the above, but it's probably not most*.



This 

I call it Dave's First Law of Manslaggery: most of the mission is finding the right kind of girls. The fact is MOST girls will not sleep with a guy that theyre not in a relationship with, much less one that theyve just met. If you get talking to a girl and think that she's the kind of girl you'd actually like to date, get to know, meet your parents etc., then there's no chance of anything happening that night. If all you're after is a one night stand then you are NOT looking for nice girls, you are looking for SLUTS 

This rule is just as valid at music festivals, but there you'll often find the ratio of nice girls/sluts seems to shift in our favour


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## Konfyouzd (Apr 16, 2009)

sluts help pass the time.


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## lobee (Apr 16, 2009)

^And the AIDS!


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## E Lucevan Le Stelle (Apr 16, 2009)

Variant said:


> I dunno, I've been playing for years (not to say I cart my guitar out to public places or bust one out a party all that often) and I've never gotten much of a response from it... maybe _*once*_ from a girl that was already interested in me. It thing the thing illustrated in the College Humor thing is largely a myth, like the expensive car thing. I've owned a Viper and a Lotus Elise and I can count on my thumbs the number of times a girl's approached me based on it. I really don't think they care that much.



...You owned a Viper and an Elise?

...You don't STILL own a Viper and an Elise?

Your man credentials are hereby null and void.


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## Konfyouzd (Apr 16, 2009)

E Lucevan Le Stelle said:


> ...You owned a Viper and an Elise?
> 
> ...You don't STILL own a Viper and an Elise?
> 
> Your man credentials are hereby null and void.



damn. way to kick a man when he's down.



lobee said:


> ^And the AIDS!



i don't get laid anyway... what do i care?


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## DaveCarter (Apr 16, 2009)

Konfyouzd said:


> sluts help pass the time.



Thoroughly agreed 



lobee said:


> ^And the AIDS!



Thats why you play the game safely  and when in Essex VERY safely!!!!!


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## Konfyouzd (Apr 16, 2009)

SplinteredDave said:


> Thats why you play the game safely  and when in Essex VERY safely!!!!!



make sure she doesn't perforate your jimmy hat?


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## lobee (Apr 16, 2009)

Konfyouzd said:


> make sure she doesn't perforate your jimmy hat?




As long as you're not popular, nice, and one of the coolest guys in school you shouldn't have to worry.


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## Konfyouzd (Apr 16, 2009)

well looks like i'm safe...


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## Dusty201087 (Apr 16, 2009)

Ugh, this is an epic fail for me because I started playing guitar (which, on multiple occasions, could've got me laid) right before I started dating my current girlfriend and was never good enough in that time period to actually even play in front of people. We've been dating a year and a half now, and not once have I gotten laid 

Oh well, she makes me happy ...

*sob*


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## Konfyouzd (Apr 16, 2009)

a year and a half and you still have to jerk it? i hope she makes you VERY happy.

i mean honestly, that's kind of cool that you guys can have a meaningful (i'm assuming so) relationship w/o sex. sounds gay but i mean really sometimes after a while that can turn out to be the ONLY thing that'll bring you together and at that point the relationship really doesn't seem worth it. so while i think it kinda sucks that you're not gettin' any... congratulations (i mean that sincerely)


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## Bobby (Apr 16, 2009)

One time playing guitar got me laid. Only because I was trying. All it took was playing the opening of Fox Lady when Kelly walked into the gym. I was 17 at the time. Funny thing is I married the chick and had three kids with her.

I think thats why she was a littler worried when I had a band going. I guess she figured I would find some chick willing to drop their pants as quickly as she did.


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## Konfyouzd (Apr 16, 2009)

^ haha

maybe you're just the fuckin' man...?


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## Bobby (Apr 16, 2009)

Konfyouzd said:


> ^ haha
> 
> maybe you're just the fuckin' man...?



No way you da man!


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## Konfyouzd (Apr 16, 2009)

holy shit! i just figured it out...

foxy lady...

didn't that get garth laid too? the one jimi song i never bothered to learn...


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## Dusty201087 (Apr 16, 2009)

Konfyouzd said:


> a year and a half and you still have to jerk it? i hope she makes you VERY happy.
> 
> i mean honestly, that's kind of cool that you guys can have a meaningful (i'm assuming so) relationship w/o sex. sounds gay but i mean really sometimes after a while that can turn out to be the ONLY thing that'll bring you together and at that point the relationship really doesn't seem worth it. so while i think it kinda sucks that you're not gettin' any... congratulations (i mean that sincerely)



Eh we just kinda don't see the importance of it. Like we just think that the long term risk is greater than the short time "fun" etc.  it's not like we avoid doing _anything_, we just stop after so far. 

She's been dropping some hints lately though, if you know what I mean 

God, sharing about my sex life... or should I say _lack_ of a sex life with strangers is great  this is why I love ss.org


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## kung_fu (Apr 16, 2009)

Dusty201087 said:


> Eh *WE* just kinda don't see the importance of it.



I think you mean "she", unless the queen of England has graced us with her presence  I kid


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## Dusty201087 (Apr 16, 2009)

kung_fu said:


> I think you mean "she", unless the queen of England has graced us with her presence  I kid



Haha as much as I hate to say it this is kind of right, if I had my way well... It's obvious, but shit happens right


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## poopyalligator (Apr 16, 2009)

here are 3 songs that will potentially get you ass by knowing them on acoustic

1.american pie by don mclean ( it is a fucking classic, kind of like wonderwall in that one video)
2.i will follow you into the dark by death cab for cutie ( if you find an indie chick who likes them it is pretty much a done deal)
3.more than words by extreme (another classic that people know the words to, but have no idea who sings it)

I never did any of the girls that offered because i had a girlfriend at the time, but they are proven to win.


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## wannabguitarist (Apr 17, 2009)

Variant said:


> Actually, I'm gonna disagree with you here. I think that within a very short period of time of meeting you most women have decided weather they're gonna fuck you or not. It just depends on the woman on *how long* its going to be before they give you the all clear. There are certainly a few women out there that would go for the above, but it's probably not most.



That means you agree with me (kinda). I was saying regardless if those guys played or not there was a good chance they would end up with that girl. First impressions (even on whores) are extremely important



poopyalligator said:


> 2.i will follow you into the dark by death cab for cutie ( if you find an indie chick who likes them it is pretty much a done deal)



WIIINNN!!!!


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## yingmin (Apr 17, 2009)

poopyalligator said:


> here are 3 songs that will potentially get you ass by knowing them on acoustic
> 
> 1.american pie by don mclean ( it is a fucking classic, kind of like wonderwall in that one video)
> 2.i will follow you into the dark by death cab for cutie ( if you find an indie chick who likes them it is pretty much a done deal)
> ...


A couple years ago, Collide by Howie Day was pretty much a sure thing, too. Not sure if it would still be effective today.


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## liquidcow (Apr 17, 2009)

poopyalligator said:


> 3.more than words by extreme



Ladies do seem to like this one because it sounds pretty. Also, any student/teenage guitar player should be able to play the beginning of Street Spirit by Radiohead, _but only the first part of it._


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## poopyalligator (Apr 17, 2009)

yingmin said:


> A couple years ago, Collide by Howie Day was pretty much a sure thing, too. Not sure if it would still be effective today.



If you played that song today, they would be like "you still like that song?" and probably be immediately turned away lol.


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## estabon37 (Apr 17, 2009)

liquidcow said:


> Ladies do seem to like this one because it sounds pretty. Also, any student/teenage guitar player should be able to play the beginning of Street Spirit by Radiohead, _but only the first part of it._


 
Hell no. You start that song you HAVE to finish it. Then again, I like seeing the looks on girls' faces when you start playing a beautiful song and they turn to listen, then you start singing about cracked eggs and dead birds and they look at you like you're a child murderer. 

I've actually taught "I Will Follow You Into The Dark", "Collide" and "Wonderwall" to a few girls who seem to be cutting out the middle man and getting their musical kicks from themselves. Somehow I don't mind.


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## Demeyes (Apr 18, 2009)

Just spotted the thread title change!

I've never seen the play guitar thing work for anyone at a party. I don't usually play because people always expect singing along with it, and I don't do that whole thing.


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## Konfyouzd (Apr 18, 2009)

Dusty201087 said:


> Eh we just kinda don't see the importance of it. Like we just think that the long term risk is greater than the short time "fun" etc.  it's not like we avoid doing _anything_, we just stop after so far.
> 
> She's been dropping some hints lately though, if you know what I mean
> 
> God, sharing about my sex life... or should I say _lack_ of a sex life with strangers is great  this is why I love ss.org



i get what you're saying. my last relationshp ended up bein' all about sex after a while. it got to a point where we didn't even really like each other but we liked to fuck each other. kind of weird. but if your girl is droppin' hints i say TEAR IT UP!


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## leandroab (Apr 18, 2009)

This is so true


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## G0DLESSENDEAVOR (Apr 19, 2009)

Hmmm...would playing meshuggah's bleed turn a woman on? No, it might work if you can hold an eight string and wrap your hand's around the whole neck whilst barring a major7th. Cause big hand's = to some woman, am I right or what?


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## Konfyouzd (Apr 19, 2009)

^  

ridiculous


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## Choop (Apr 19, 2009)

I dunno if I'd even want to get laid if I had to play Wonderwall to do it D:..


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## Konfyouzd (Apr 19, 2009)

Choop said:


> I dunno if I'd even want to get laid if I had to play Wonderwall to do it D:..



this.


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## Unknown Doodl3.2 (Apr 20, 2009)

What if you play really fast chromatic exercises and wink at them in the meantime?


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## MFB (Apr 20, 2009)

Bitches be all about the 'Dust In The Wind' fellas

Fingerpickin makes em wetter than an ocean


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## Variant (Apr 20, 2009)

^
 Kansas pwns!


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## Konfyouzd (Apr 20, 2009)

Unknown Doodl3.2 said:


> What if you play really fast chromatic exercises and wink at them in the meantime?



then women will like you about as much as they like behold the arctopus...

(i like that band btw )



MFB said:


> Bitches be all about the 'Dust In The Wind' fellas
> 
> Fingerpickin makes em wetter than an ocean



you know i've noticed they really do seem to like fingerpicking. i don't really think finger picking is that much more difficult. it's just different. maybe i should get on that.


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## MFB (Apr 20, 2009)

No lie, plus its one of those "Hey I know that song" kind of ...songs


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## Konfyouzd (Apr 20, 2009)

my ex loved that song actually. and it's a damn good song. i wouldn't mind learning that one.


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## hufschmid (Apr 20, 2009)

learning the bass and not getting laid


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## Konfyouzd (Apr 20, 2009)

i'm learning bass too. funny thing is women actually seem to like that one and i'm not as good at it! wtf is this world coming to???


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## hairychris (Apr 20, 2009)

You mean people learn guitar to get laid...?



Shit, I've always used it as some sort of pre-emptive contraceptive.

Oh, and Wonderwall... Heh, liked the original but anyone else who strikes it up really needs to wear their guitar as a suppository.


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## Konfyouzd (Apr 20, 2009)

hairychris said:


> You mean people learn guitar to get laid...?
> 
> 
> 
> ...


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## G0DLESSENDEAVOR (Apr 20, 2009)

Konfyouzd said:


> ^
> 
> ridiculous


 It's true, I hear it all the time. It work's, I even have a 3 step method.


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## Konfyouzd (Apr 20, 2009)

G0DLESSENDEAVOR said:


> It's true, I hear it all the time. It work's, I even have a 3 step method.



they say the same thing about feet. i wear a 13 and only old women seem to care if that. but then again... i have a thing for women 2x my age.


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## G0DLESSENDEAVOR (Apr 20, 2009)

Konfyouzd said:


> they say the same thing about feet. i wear a 13 and only old women seem to care if that. but then again... i have a thing for women 2x my age.


 
Only old woman, I disagree with that. Who doesn't get attracted to older woman.


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## Konfyouzd (Apr 20, 2009)

older women get my mojo going. chicks my age look like babies to me for some reason.


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## G0DLESSENDEAVOR (Apr 20, 2009)

Konfyouzd said:


> older women get my mojo going. chicks my age look like babies to me for some reason.


 
I know, and since a mojority of old woman desire younger stud's it's working out. I guess the book, "the secret" starts getting evocative after I realized this. (I still think it's garbage, it's worth something after it sold million's of copies.)


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## MFB (Apr 20, 2009)

Konfyouzd said:


> they say the same thing about feet. i wear a 13 and only old women seem to care if that. but then again... i have a thing for women 2x my age.



Huzzah! Finally someone else who's a 13! It seems like everytime someone asks me why I wear fucking canoe shoes and I tell them they go "A 13?!" like my feet were exposed to radiation. Fuck, my Nike SB's are 14's because they fit different than most shoes.


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## Auyard (Apr 20, 2009)

MFB said:


> Huzzah! Finally someone else who's a 13! It seems like everytime someone asks me why I wear fucking canoe shoes and I tell them they go "A 13?!" like my feet were exposed to radiation. Fuck, my Nike SB's are 14's because they fit different than most shoes.



I wear 14s and I get either clown feet or dumbfounded looks. Maybe I should start trying to hook up with older women


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## MFB (Apr 20, 2009)

Auyard said:


> I wear 14s and I get either clown feet or dumbfounded looks. Maybe I should start trying to hook up with older women



Ain't nothin like a Cougar


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## Konfyouzd (Apr 20, 2009)

well my feet are huge considering i'm only 5'9" but they don't look big to me...


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## MFB (Apr 20, 2009)

Konfyouzd said:


> well my feet are huge considering i'm only 5'9" but they don't look big to me...



Hmm, I'm only 5'10" maybe 5'11" since I haven't check in a while but mine still look like canoes coming off my legs. Maybe its cause of my shoe style


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## Konfyouzd (Apr 20, 2009)

probably. or maybe i've just gotten used to them and they look like boats to everyone else


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## Panterica (Apr 21, 2009)

stuh84 said:


> How often do the girls see you play?
> 
> Its worked for me before



this!


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## CrownofWorms (Feb 4, 2011)

Epic Bump

Will playing a Raining Blood, Dawn of the Angry, Scavenger of Human Sorrow, Slaves Shall Serve, and maybe Mass Hypnosis and Future Breed Machine Vocals and guitar. Now will I get laid playing those songs. I'm going to do lead guitar and lead Vocals(growling though). 

Though my friend is a bass player who can play those songs with his fingers and only been playing for 6 months(no shitting, but he is an excellent pianist before he played bass). And may of found a drummer. But looking for a second guitarist won't be hard.


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## stryker1800 (Feb 4, 2011)

I find that it doesn't really matter what you're actually playing, just that the girl is getting more attention than you're giving your playing.


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## Encephalon5 (Feb 5, 2011)

Stop hating on bassists dammit! Women love us... I've gotten... laid.... loads of time... because........ okay, fine! I've never gotten laid as a direct result of my playing.... I guess women just don't like bassists. It's sad!


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## ZackP3750 (Feb 5, 2011)

I've had girls melt over me playing guitar before, and its definitely helped. But you NEED an acoustic guitar to truly win them over. electric is badass and all, but the acoustic is what gets the poon


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## Meatbucket (Feb 5, 2011)

Been playing guitar for around 7 years now. Never once has it helped me get laid. It's like the whole world is a lie.


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## Cheesebuiscut (Feb 5, 2011)




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## groph (Feb 5, 2011)

I play death metal exclusively, I haven't touched my acoustic in at least a year. Haven't gotten laid. Don't give a shit.


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## josh pelican (Feb 5, 2011)

Encephalon5 said:


> Stop hating on bassists dammit! Women love us... I've gotten... laid.... loads of time... because........ okay, fine! I've never gotten laid as a direct result of my playing.... I guess women just don't like bassists. It's sad!



Maybe it's just you. I'm a bassist and I get laid.


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## Randy (Feb 5, 2011)




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## Encephalon5 (Feb 5, 2011)

Randy said:


>



Damn.Right. 

Unless you use a pick though.


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## aslsmm (Feb 5, 2011)

bwahaha. i just saw this for the first time and it make me crack up. i lived in utah by BYU and every guys apt in the complex i lived in had an accoustic. mine was the only one with an electric. 
one day i was walking to my apt and i saw two chodes playing the accoustic with these two girls looking at them while they were singing "tonight will be the night that i will fall for you over agaiiiiiiin dont make me lose my mind". it was the most desperate thing i had ever seen. 

the girls loved my electric 7 string guitar even though i was just learning. BUT, all the guys that knew 1 or 2 accoustic songs got all the loving. the ladies didnt like no more tears as much as i did. 

i did have a neighboor that could do the agust rush stuff, that was preatty cool.


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## josh pelican (Feb 6, 2011)

Bass players do it deeper.

What's up?


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## Encephalon5 (Feb 6, 2011)

Bassists are also much wider.......this is turning into the official bassist empowerment thread.


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## groph (Feb 6, 2011)

Double bassists do it with two... wait


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