# NGD, what do you tell the wife (or hubby)?



## littlebadboy (Jan 19, 2015)

I am not sure if this is in the right section, kindly move if needed...

I found out that there are some interesting articles to read at reverb. One of the discussion comments of an article caught my attention and it made me laugh. So I thought of starting this thread to find out what you do.

Situation:
Your wife (or hubby) may not be so supportive of your spending on music gear.

Questions:
How do you convince your spouse? Or, do you hide it?
If you hide it, where do you get the money?
If your new purchase is discovered, what do you say?

Or do you just say, "I'm the man of the house! I'll get whatever I want!"? (and then perhaps duck for incoming).


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## littlebadboy (Jan 19, 2015)

If I may share some funny comments at the said article at reverb:

_I always hide stuff from the wife. LOL. Then when she finds it you can say "Hey. I've had that for months, it's not new."

Another strategy is buy when she is out of the country. My wife decided she wanted to go to Paris to get away from me. So off to Sam Ash I went and scored a nice used Tele thinline relic nocaster. She never noticed.

I decided to make all guitars white. Then she never is able to tell the new ones from the old ones.

There's a joke I heard - "I hope when I die that my wife doesn't sell my gear for what I said I paid for them".

1: keep guitars in cases. They all look pretty much alike.
2: keep 'em moving. Makes 'em hard to count.
3: sell gear as well as buy. Claim no new cash spent.
4. become a used dealer LOL.
5. I prefer red not white, unless they're Gretsches or Teles, but all guitars one color makes things real easy.
6. Say "what, this old thing?" a lot.

One time early on I mentioned to my wife that I liked such-and-such guitar (generally a huge strategic error, don't do this at home).
She asked how much.
I said "12" (meaning 1200).
She gulped, and said "thousand!?"
"No way, hon, that's just crazy!", I said...
So all of a sudden a $1200 guitar is a blessing. Heh heh..._

And the list goes on...


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## Hachetjoel (Jan 19, 2015)

Post a link I want to read it!

but My SO thinks she can tell me not to buy any more guitar/gear, but I just do it anyway and theres never any confrontation because we both do what we want because we're both adults. and the bills get paid so theres never any problems.


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## crg123 (Jan 19, 2015)

My girlfriend loves my gear. She actually suggested to help me out with buying my new Axe XL as a christmas/ anniversary gift. Shrug* Guess that's why we've been together 4 years lolol


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## xCaptainx (Jan 19, 2015)

My future purchases are usually self funded by selling what I have, so I never really 'lose' money etc. 

I'm our sole income and we have a newborn, so it would be very silly of me to splash out without consultation. Most of the time it's 'hey I've sold this, I'm getting that, there's no cost' and that's that.


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## Demiurge (Jan 19, 2015)

Hachetjoel said:


> we both do what we want because we're both adults. and the bills get paid so theres never any problems.



That's what it should come down to. Obviously, if finances are combined and the budget is tight, big purchases should be a discussed. But the idea of _permission_- as if one's spouse is like a parent- hell no.


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## tedtan (Jan 19, 2015)

Remind her how much she spends on shoes.


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## lemeker (Jan 19, 2015)

Tell her to look on the bright side. You could have you spent it on hookers and strip clubs instead............I kid I kid!!!!

All my gf's past present and future know one thing, guitars and music are who I am and what I am all about, nothing they say or do will ever change that. The one thing I will not change nor will I compromise. As long as my responsibilities are handled, I will buy whatever gear I see fit to buy.


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## Aion (Jan 19, 2015)

Let me bathe in some of the sexism of this thread *washes disgustingly long metalhead hair* Ah, that's better. Anyway, honesty and reasonableness will always work with someone who is honest and reasonable. That's all there is to it.


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## MrEzzyE (Jan 20, 2015)

"Don´t worry darling, it didn´t cost anything... I stole it!"


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## Louis Cypher (Jan 20, 2015)

Aion said:


> Let me bathe in some of the sexism of this thread *washes disgustingly long metalhead hair* Ah, that's better.



LOL!! 

If my wife had her way I would have loads more gear! She trying to convince me I need a broken mirror Iceman at the moment, not the N4 I want! LOL! (Long story - she now loves Paul Stanley since we saw Kiss in Vegas last year! LOL!)


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## OmegaSlayer (Jan 20, 2015)

Simple.
I do NOT marry.

The downside is my ..... has a joystick grip.


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## vansinn (Jan 20, 2015)

Having tried marriage with a single common account, I will have to say get one common for common expenses and separate accounts for own use and simply make the money that's needed, and go spend exactly what's needed to keep you happy.

If the spouse, male or female, cannot understand what makes you happy, shop another model - but make sure to understand these dynamics before having kids (I love kids).

My point is that if the two of you happens to fall in love and decide to share everything but straight, a common understanding of the individual and requirements to a happy live must be part of that relationship, or love, the foundation, will vanish and a split will happen anyways at some point.

There is no such thing as falling in place, and adapting to conditions. Creative people cannot be put in a compartmentalized box.
If the other part doesn't understand this, he/she isn't worthy of living with someone who night after night cries out the heart to the audience.

Yoda says "do or do not, there is no try.."

I may be a Bit too direct; however, I do have some experience..


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## TheWarAgainstTime (Jan 20, 2015)

I sell/trade gear to get new stuff so I don't lose tons of money, but I did that for myself before I had my current girlfriend anyway. She doesn't really like me spending money outright on gear, but I can almost always tell her about what I'm either selling or plan to sell to make up for it. 

However, I did splurge a while back and bought an amp before selling some stuff, but I was in a position where I was able to take the hit, plus once I sell a couple of things I'll be back in the black  hell, once I do sell those things, I'll probably have less money invested into new gear over the last year than my girlfriend has spent on cigarettes  if anything I'm the responsible one


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## Edika (Jan 20, 2015)

The worst thing is when you say things and they remember them hahaha. Back when I started playing guitar I was in the frame of mind of why having like more than one guitar. It just seemed too much and unnecessary. I had an acquaintance in mind and shared that thought with my wife (back then girlfriend). Now whenever I browse at guitars I get from times to times that line.

Unfortunately the trick with saying that you had that guitar for years or months or that old thing doesn't fly for me unless she never sees the guitar at all. She is very observant and can distinguish shapes and colors lol. Unless I buy the same guitar with the same color multiple times.

The sell old stuff-buy new stuff is a good way to get away with things. My problem is that I don't want to sell any of my current guitars as I really like them. Combine that with a dream she recently saw were I was telling her about a bargain I saw and she was tearing into me about it and you can guess the mood for gear purchases lol!

She did however recognize that when I sold two of my guitars and my half stack because we needed the money, that otherwise they would have been spend in other stuff we wouldn't be able to sell .


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## Dayn (Jan 20, 2015)

tedtan said:


> Remind her how much she spends on shoes.


Would this work if you spend more on shoes than her? *looks at collection*


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## thraxil (Jan 20, 2015)

My lady recently bought a car and a new DSLR while I was off traveling. She doesn't get to complain about gear purchases of mine for a long time...

Seriously though, she's a musician herself and has probably spent as much or more on boutique synthesizers over the years as I have on guitar stuff. It's really not an issue between us. We're also not struggling financially, so it's not a problem. When we have been tight on money, we don't spend money on that kind of thing.


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## wildrat666 (Jan 20, 2015)

my wife plays to....good sometimes...sometimes too much gear


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## McKay (Jan 20, 2015)

Why would you even consider marrying someone who tells you what to do?


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## Dekay82 (Jan 20, 2015)

You guys are lucky. My wife is a total bitch about money. She nickel and dimes me for every goddamn penny I make then busts my balls when I want to buy a Duncan JB.


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## WiseSplinter (Jan 20, 2015)

My girl is not bothered, though she sometimes shakes her head when I tell her how much a particular piece of gear cost me ( looking at you HypeMachine  ). 
She probably earns more than I do anyway, so it's not like I need to support her.

Protip: date girls with PhD's


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## Splenetic (Jan 20, 2015)

No woman is ever getting between me and my wood!!!!


wait a second...... oh crap.....


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## fps (Jan 20, 2015)

I tell my girlfriend it'll hold its value as it's second hand. That works for the second hand gear, so far anyway!


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## BucketheadRules (Jan 20, 2015)

Assuming the money isn't shared or supposed to be used for something else, how tragic must it be to have to justify buying gear as a musician? 

That's not a relationship I'd want to be in.


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## VBCheeseGrater (Jan 20, 2015)

xCaptainx said:


> My future purchases are usually self funded by selling what I have, so I never really 'lose' money etc.
> 
> I'm our sole income and we have a newborn, so it would be very silly of me to splash out without consultation. Most of the time it's 'hey I've sold this, I'm getting that, there's no cost' and that's that.



Yeah, that's about what i do. I always make sure she knows something is being sold before something new arrives. If i buy something new, it has to be sellable at a similar price.

But I do splurge on sub $100 items too much like speakers and the like. That stuff can add up.

Overall, my wife is pretty awesome when it comes to gear - she has bought me plenty and only gets on my case here and there.










Dekay82 said:


> You guys are lucky. My wife is a total bitch about money. She nickel and dimes me for every goddamn penny I make then busts my balls when I want to buy a Duncan JB.



That sucks man. Hopefully it pays off in the long run, if she is being smart with the stuff you can't spend. Still sucks!


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## Konfyouzd (Jan 20, 2015)

Have no gf...
Have no wife...
Have 29 guitars...

Take a wild guess...


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## tedtan (Jan 20, 2015)

Dayn said:


> Would this work if you spend more on shoes than her? *looks at collection*



In that case, you'd want to direct her attention to an area where she does outspend you (travel, dining out, whatever her interests are) or, if you outspend her across the board, find another tactic.


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## Konfyouzd (Jan 20, 2015)

^


> Girl, hush... You know I love you...


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## Steinmetzify (Jan 20, 2015)

Wife and I have been together for a long time. She knows I'll never quit playing and buying gear. She's seen the worst of it, with guitars going out and coming in the same day, sometimes more than one....had a day when FedEx dropped off three guitars at the same time, while I was out shipping two others, and she's the one that signed for them and opened the boxes to check that they were ok.

She just rolls her eyes, especially when I tell her "that's it, no more. I'm done for a while".

She knows it's not true but appreciates me saying the words.

We're adults, both make money, and spend on what we see fit....she digs Jimmy Choos and Burberry scarves and Mercedes Benzes, and I like guitars and FX. I could give a .... less what I drive and have often gone car shopping and come back with a little green 4 door something or other because it was cheap and I could stop at our local shop and buy an amp and throw it in the trunk on the way home.

I plan on snagging an LTD SC607B and an AxeFx this year and nothing else, and it'll be interesting to see if she notices nothing coming in or going out.

I had an interesting year last year and had around 20 guitars going in/out pretty much all year...that was the worst it's ever been and she was ok with it. She digs my playing and knows it makes me happy.


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## Edika (Jan 20, 2015)

steinmetzify said:


> I could give a .... less what I drive and have often gone car shopping and come back with a little green 4 door something or other because it was cheap and I could stop at our local shop and buy an amp and throw it in the trunk on the way home.



I echo this sentiment


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## Konfyouzd (Jan 20, 2015)

steinmetzify said:


> She knows it's not true but appreciates me saying the words.



Oh is that how it eventually works?


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## Edika (Jan 20, 2015)

Konfyouzd said:


> Oh is that how it eventually works?



Well if you're convincing enough she will gradually attribute it to an addiction type situation and consider it a weak moment.

You'll be in serious trouble though when you get back home one day and see a bunch of family and friends for an intervention


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## Steinmetzify (Jan 20, 2015)

Konfyouzd said:


> Oh is that how it eventually works?



Yup.....sometimes when you're together for a long time it's the way you say things that counts, not the actual truth to it.

"You know honey, I really wish we had the time to sit down and watch a really good romantic comedy, darn it." 

See what I'm saying?


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## Konfyouzd (Jan 20, 2015)

Edika said:


> Well if you're convincing enough she will gradually attribute it to an addiction type situation and consider it a weak moment.
> 
> You'll be in serious trouble though when you get back home one day and see a bunch of family and friends for an intervention



I'm pretty sure I'm well on my way to an intervention with or without a significant other. People are starting to worry.



steinmetzify said:


> Yup.....sometimes when you're together for a long time it's the way you say things that counts, not the actual truth to it.
> 
> "You know honey, I really wish we had the time to sit down and watch a really good romantic comedy, darn it."
> 
> See what I'm saying?


I might have saved a few relationships had I known I didn't *actually* have to tell the truth all the time. It's the truth that's been ruining me!


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## jarnozz (Jan 20, 2015)

my girlfriend simply relpies with ''we are going to need a big ass room for all our gear!'' 
she is a gear slut as well xD first thing I get to hear is ''GIVE IT I WANT TO PLAY IT''


we have a combined gear list of 23 guitars+3 basses, 7 synthesizers, 2 piano's, a few amps+2x12 cabs with 2 10 shelve rackmounts....

huston, we have a problem...


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## asher (Jan 20, 2015)

jarnozz said:


> my girlfriend simply relpies with ''we are going to need a big ass room for all our gear!''
> she is a gear slut as well xD first thing I get to hear is ''GIVE IT I WANT TO PLAY IT''
> 
> 
> ...



Yep.

You don't have enough instruments.

Because for real that's pretty awesome.


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## Konfyouzd (Jan 20, 2015)

Need that in my life...


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## asher (Jan 20, 2015)

Konfyouzd said:


> Need that in my life...



I know right!


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## Hachetjoel (Jan 20, 2015)

TheWarAgainstTime said:


> I sell/trade gear to get new stuff so I don't lose tons of money, but I did that for myself before I had my current girlfriend anyway. She doesn't really like me spending money outright on gear, but I can almost always tell her about what I'm either selling or plan to sell to make up for it.
> 
> However, I did splurge a while back and bought an amp before selling some stuff, but I was in a position where I was able to take the hit, plus once I sell a couple of things I'll be back in the black  hell, once I do sell those things, I'll probably have less money invested into new gear over the last year than my girlfriend has spent on cigarettes  if anything I'm the responsible one





I don't smoke. Hardly drink. Don't do drugs. I don't gamble, drive a fancy car or chase after fancy women. Or plain ones (in case you're reading this, honey.)

Two things have resulted from my abstinence from moral decay:

&#8226; Rolling Stone never calls for an interview.
&#8226; I've been able to afford pretty much every guitar, pedal and amp I've ever wanted.

In my case, I gave up smoking (completely) and drinking (mostly) at 13 and took up the guitar right after. That was probably not a coincidence. It turned out the guitar was a pretty good substitute for a variety of cravings.

What I learned is that if you've already got a bad habit you'd like to drop, guitar gear can be a fine incentive to exchange a vice for a virtue.

According to the American Psychological Association, this kind of cognitive behavior modification is &#8220;a therapeutic approach that combines the cognitive emphasis on the role of thoughts and attitudes influencing motivations and response with the behavioral emphasis on changing performance through modification of reinforcement contingencies.&#8221;

According to American rock guitarists, it's a perfectly good excuse to buy another fuzz pedal.

The best part is kicking a bad habit can kickstart a good one. (Psychologists call this contingency management.) Suppose you feel you smoke too much. Think of what you could get by diverting your finances from cigarettes to guitars.

A pack of cigarettes ranges from about $5 to $15, depending on where you live. Let's take $10 as a nice median number. If you smoke even half a pack a day, that comes to a bit more than $1,800 a year. Cut back on your smoking and you can put that money toward a nice Les Paul. You'll end up with fresher breath and probably gain as much satisfaction from playing as you do from smoking, the difference being the more you play, the better you feel.

On the other hand, maybe you already have your few remaining bad habits set up just the way you like. What if you don't have any more vices you're willing to exchange for musical instruments? You can't exactly go to your parents or spouse and say, "On the plus side, I haven't whore-mongered at all this month. Please stamp my rewards card, I want a new amp."

That's when it's time for Plan B: proving you are so fiscally conservative that you have earned that amp.

It's impressive how putting aside just a few dollars each week adds up.

Start by figuring out how much disposable income you really have. Now it may be that you don't have any, in which case acquiring more gear is probably not your priority. But most folks do have a bit of spare change after setting aside money for food, clothing, rent, the kids, retirement, emergencies and that second-story addition to the kitty condo you're building for Mr. Fluffypants.

So where's that extra money going to come from? Think about it. Be creative. Are you buying a cup of coffee on your way to work each morning? That's at least $2 a day. Make your own instead and take it in a Thermos. Put the money saved into your personal tip jar.

Of course, this is the real world, and for many of us it's not just a matter of convincing ourselves that the money is available&#8212;which is the easy part&#8212;it's often a matter of convincing our parents or significant other as well.

Here's how I did it. Shortly after I got married, my wife and I made up a budget. And part of that budget included the idea that each of us still wanted to be able buy what was, to the other person, totally frivolous crap. Our budget would set aside enough that we could occasionally get something with no explanations, apologies or misdirection required; she wouldn't have to cram two pairs of red high-heels into one shoebox and I wouldn't be stashing my new Turbo Rat behind the expired box of Cheerios.

So then the question became, &#8220;What price happiness?&#8221;

We asked each other, &#8220;How much money would you not care if I essentially threw it away on junk?&#8221;

&#8220;Ten bucks a week&#8221;&#8212;this was back in the Eighties&#8212;was the answer.

We made it all very formal. We each set up a separate bank account for our &#8220;no questions asked&#8221; fund and auto-deposited $10 weekly from our paycheck into it.

What have I bought with my 10 bucks a week over the past 30 years? Here's a partial list:

&#8226; A 1952 Tele
&#8226; A 1956 Strat
&#8226; A 1950 Gibson J-45
&#8226; A 1966 Deluxe Reverb
&#8226; Not one but two late-Fifties Tweed Princetons
&#8226; An original TS-9 and first-version Big Muff
&#8226; A 1964 Fender Reverb Unit.

Etc. You get the idea.

So that's it, three cheap, simple ways to save for guitars: diverting cash from bad habits to good ones, reclaiming wasted money, and creating a &#8220;fun account.&#8221; Of course, you could just stick to smoking, gambling, and drinking grande venti frappuccinos instead of getting a shiny new guitar.

But according to the American Psychological Association, that's just nuts.




The GAS Man: Turn Your Vices Into Virtues


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## Rock4ever (Jan 20, 2015)

My wife never minded me spending on gear...until we got married.


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## Overtone (Jan 20, 2015)

#foreveralone represent!


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## TIMEwaveXERO (Jan 20, 2015)

Better to beg for forgiveness than ask for permission 

Haha


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## Konfyouzd (Jan 20, 2015)

Rock4ever said:


> My wife never minded me spending on gear...until we got married.



Dun dun dun... <<scary music>>


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## GunnarJames (Jan 21, 2015)

Old customer of mine would leave the house with an empty case before heading to the shop. Made sure she saw him leave with the case, and would come home with the same case. None the wiser. 

Of course this doesn't extend to ALL gear purchases or buying online, but I thought it was brilliant.


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## feraledge (Jan 21, 2015)

My wife has given me very, very little shit about my guitars. But I think I express my own self-doubt as to why I feel I need so many guitars on to her. She's basically my gut check when I tell her that I don't have 12 guitars, but X bolt ons, X neck thrus, X Floyds, X hardtails, X alder, that the ones for sale don't count, etc.... and on and on. 
I can't complain at all, I just feel really guilty about the amount of stuff I own, and that while we have an otherwise minimalist house, upstairs is all my gear and books. 
Her only qualm is that she doesn't have to help me move either one of those things when we move houses.


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## 3074326 (Jan 21, 2015)

I always hear these stories and kind of realize that I've never asked permission of a significant other.. I figure they should expect me to put some money into my passion/hobby.


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## Dwellingers (Jan 21, 2015)

Well - use the same strategic as when convincing her to do anal.


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## jbealsmusic (Jan 21, 2015)

If y'all think buying guitar gear raises eyebrows, try starting a business!

jk My wife has been pretty supportive.

I wouldn't consider lying to my significant other as a solution for anything, though the stories and ideas people come up with are pretty comical. I guess it all comes down to how you manage money within your relationship.
- Separate accounts and incomes: Spend whatever you want after household expenses are covered. It's your money.
- Joint accounts: Discuss large purchases together and/or regularly set money aside as a hobby fund and only spend what you have in the fund. It's boring, but it works and it prevents crazy impulse buying.


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## Sunlit Omega (Jan 21, 2015)

littlebadboy said:


> I am not sure if this is in the right section, kindly move if needed...
> 
> I found out that there are some interesting articles to read at reverb. One of the discussion comments of an article caught my attention and it made me laugh. So I thought of starting this thread to find out what you do.
> 
> ...




For as much money as I spend on stupid stuff, she atleast matches me, and sometimes spends more. She digs the music that I write and what I've been working on and understands what good gear can cost so we have an understanding.....

...So long as I don't do something that has us living on hot pockets for a week again...


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## Sepultorture (Jan 21, 2015)

I'm a very greatful man that my is supportive of me being in bands, making music and buying gear

Hell just the other day I said I need a new rig, she said I can buy one when my cars paid off, which is this July, never does she look down on my gear buying

Touring on the other hand, I mention that I'm gunna be gone even for a few days and she acts like I'm leaving her for good, oi women

As for that shit with women and gear, my foot is always down when I start a relationship, this is who I am take it or leave it, and if you talk me down or can't deal with it, .... right off


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## Sepultorture (Jan 21, 2015)

Hendrix said:


> So long as I don't do something that has us living on hot pockets for a week again...



AGAIN Jesus then my wife would def kill me


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## asher (Jan 21, 2015)

How the shit did you do that the first time


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## Sunlit Omega (Jan 21, 2015)

asher said:


> How the shit did you do that the first time



It was one of those things where in my mind, I could rationalize making some nutritional sacrifices for the sake of acquiring a good deal.



She didn't really want to make the same nutritional sacrifices but, then again she was never given a chance to object.

That was college and I was still a fool of a young adult. I make enough money now to support my gear habits and not have to sacrifice the well being of our colons'. 

Now if I pulled that same stunt today, I'd be six feet under..


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## Konfyouzd (Jan 22, 2015)

GunnarJames said:


> Old customer of mine would leave the house with an empty case before heading to the shop. Made sure she saw him leave with the case, and would come home with the same case. None the wiser.
> 
> Of course this doesn't extend to ALL gear purchases or buying online, but I thought it was brilliant.



That's freakin' brilliant!


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## ArchonicYordi (Jan 22, 2015)

I get the occasional "What makes this one different from the others?" and "Dont you have enough already?". People who dont play an instrument just dont understand, haha. 
But Im always honest about it and try to make it clear that I never have enough and its my own money Im spending.


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## littlebadboy (Mar 25, 2015)

Wife saw my bill... I bought a looper (RC-20XL). Wife asked, "What is this?" I replied, "Oh it's something I thought I wouldn't win on ebay, but I did!" She said, "I didn't know about that..." I said, "Oh it was a surprise for myself!" "Huh...? (dumbfounded)"

It's nice to pretend being dumb sometimes. It catches them off. Diversion of feelings and thoughts tactic.


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## Nick (Mar 25, 2015)

See if you can afford to have things that make you happy and the money you are spending on them is money you earned, and your gf/wife/husband etc doesnt want you to have those things? I think you need to remove something from your life and its not the guitars!


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## vilk (Mar 25, 2015)

I usually don't keep all of my guitars "out" so to speak, so I've often claimed to have traded one for the other, and so long as I don't have the guitar that I claim to have traded "out" at the moment it probably wont register.


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## Rojne (Mar 25, 2015)

Bills, rent and food comes first hand, then me and my wife put some money away in different savings-accounts and IF theres anything left we split it and do whatever we want with it.. No complaints!  

But Im a 'less-is-more' kind of guy, so I move gear around and usually don't have more than one guitar.. So when I want a new one, I sell the one I have!


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## MerlinTKD (Mar 26, 2015)

If my wife came to me and said "Why did you buy that? Don't you have enough? You didn't even check with me first! What were you thinking??" I'd...



...say "What the .... are you doing in my apartment, we divorced 2 years ago, go home!" 

(not that that's why we divorced... specifically... )

(actually, for the record, we get along better now than we did when we were married, so this wouldn't happen... but still... )


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## btbg (Mar 26, 2015)

Dekay82 said:


> You guys are lucky. My wife is a total bitch about money. She nickel and dimes me for every goddamn penny I make then busts my balls when I want to buy a Duncan JB.



She sounds very lucky to be married to you.


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## Nick (Mar 27, 2015)

btbg said:


> She sounds very lucky to be married to you.



good sense of humour - the internet must be a scary, scary place for you!

that said, calling your wife a bitch is not great!


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## Asrial (Mar 27, 2015)

This is one of the situations where I'm glad I'm not married, so I can do what I want. 

On the other hand, my girlfriend is super supportive, even tho she calls my GAS a bit overkill. I mean, I totally need a fullstack Randall Satan for bedroom practice, but nooo; a mere 20W with a 2x12 is more than enough.


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## Chokey Chicken (Mar 27, 2015)

We play rock, paper, scissors to find out who gets new gear. Lately I've been letting her buy .... more for the simple fact that I've been gassing far less.


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## Defi (Mar 27, 2015)

my wife holds the pick so we're usually in agreement


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## VBCheeseGrater (Mar 27, 2015)

littlebadboy said:


> 3: sell gear as well as buy. Claim no new cash spent.



*ALWAYS* Claim no cash spent!!! Deny everything.

I can normally get the rack gear in the door without her noticing, but the new guitars are a toughy. She is privy to the whole Made in USA/Japan thing so she knows if i have just spent a small fortune, or sold a cheapo guitar.


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## Swyse (Mar 27, 2015)

Defi said:


> my wife holds the pick so we're usually in agreement



Came to make this exact joke, take your like.


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## Defi (Mar 27, 2015)

Swyse said:


> Came to make this exact joke, take your like.


*left handed high five*


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## btbg (Mar 27, 2015)

Nick said:


> good sense of humour - the internet must be a scary, scary place for you!
> 
> that said, calling your wife a bitch is not great!



You're simple, aren't you?


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## Mayhew (Mar 27, 2015)

Pedals are easy to bring in and add to your board or hide amongst the pile but guitars can be tricky if you only have a few. I had serious gas and the day I found out the RG 721fm was released in Canada I ordered and paid for one without thinking about how I was going to maneuver this one (should be here soon). Do I lay low with it for a while in it's case or do I lowball the price so I'm free to use it openly and hope she's cool with it? I paid off my credit card and switched to paperless billing to eliminate the trail. Then the lightbulb went on and I had a genius idea. My wife is always entering contests for countless things like trips etc and she's always bugging me to enter everything I can as well. So I plant the seed. "Ya honey you're right, you can't win anything if you don't enter". A couple days later I tell Her I entered a contest at Long and Mcquade (Canada's Guitar Center) and the grand prize was a trip to Nashville. I never said what the other prizes were though. When the guitar comes in I'm not going to win 1st prize but rather 3rd prize. "Well we didn't win a trip but...". I figured since I'm winning prizes in a contest I might as well win either a 5150III 50 watt head and 2x12 or a KM7 too (2nd prize will be a USA or Japanese 6 and 7 or the 100 watt EVH and 4x12 depending on what I get). Either way I learned two things from my Father inlaw. Have separate bank accounts and it's better to beg for forgiveness then to ask permission. You'll get crap either way but at least you got your stuff.


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## MAJ Meadows SF (Apr 1, 2015)

Man we are just horrible, horrible people. But, better gear than a hooker/drug addiction and a mistress on the side. Especially when your spouse is like Lana from Archer...

I used to store stuff in the apartment, and I have stuff still in my parent's house, plus a storage unit. I currently own an undetermined amount of gear. Plus I do sell and trade stuff, so that covers things. Most of my gear acquisitions are known; custom orders that get filled years later, plus I've taken liberty of the failures (BRJ....) to meet the GAS needs. Right now I'm also a geo-bachelor so I get a bit more room to groove. Plus doing things like allowing the wife to quit work for a while, buying us a new apartment in Boca, (and having the occassional paycheck drop into a seperate PayPal account) all helps soften the blow. Plus I've made the hard decision to part with some gear I just didn't need (trade/selling guitars, selling 100+ watt amps & cabs I barely use in an apartment, etc.). 

The one guitar my wife would totally be behind is a bahama blue quilted PRS PS. She doesn't play, but loves the color. I'd rather find/order a semi-hollow 7 with a piezo in that color, so I'm holding out for that as a "post deployment present to myself" after the next mission. But I'll probably have to buy her a new car. As long as the bank account stays in the black every month I'm barely ever harrassed anymore. 

And then there are guns. That's a whole other GAS issue that demands obscene amounts of money. My excuse there is amassing title II items before they get temp banned again. I did drop my designer ball python and coral reef hobby for now, which helps, but someday that GAS urge will resurface I'm sure. All three of those are business opportunities though, so an easier sell then a Blackmachine, KSR Colossus stack, or an Ormsby. And three more Daemoness axes. And another KxK. I'm doomed.


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## UnattendedGolfcart (Apr 1, 2015)

My girlfriend's dad is a musician, so she understands the urge to spend money on different pieces of equipment/instruments to have for different purposes. In the future I don't think she would mind me spending my own money on gear because she thinks it's cool and likes seeing me happy


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## MikeH (Apr 8, 2015)

I'm easy to please, so I don't really get new gear often. When I do, it's 9 times out of 10 going to be through a trade. If I plan on buying something, my fiance knows about it, and usually doesn't care all that much, provided that expenses are paid and savings account doesn't take a hit. I will say that I accidentally found my wedding present (no, seriously. It was really an accident. ) when I went to check on her grandma's house while they were out of town. Needless to say, you'll see a new thread from me in the seven string section in a few days.


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## InfinityCollision (Apr 8, 2015)

I'm a financially responsible adult with stable income. I don't buy gear that often, only buy when I have more than enough money in the bank to cover it, and my stable stays pretty small. If a woman has a problem with that, I'm not going to keep her around very long.

Thankfully, that means that most of the time the conversation goes something along the lines of:

"Hey, I'm getting a new (guitar/amp/accessory/other instrument)."
"Oh cool, what are you getting?"


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## Petef2007 (Apr 11, 2015)

Single by choice, and plan to be for a long time, so its not an issue. My hand gets a workout either way, guitar or not.


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## HUGH JAYNUS (Apr 11, 2015)

I just do what I want and ignore my wifE when she gets mad lol. Bills get paid so fvck it.


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## mongey (Apr 12, 2015)

tell her ??!!! 

what , are you crazy ?


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## TheStig1214 (Apr 13, 2015)

"This one's quieter." I'm 100% single, but that's what I tell my mom (because I still live at home).


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## Underworld (Apr 13, 2015)

I usualy just say "hey look the new guitar I just bought!!" 

She knows I sell a lot of stuff to buy new gear, most of the time I'm even.


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## ghostred7 (Apr 13, 2015)

Louis Cypher said:


> LOL!!
> 
> If my wife had her way I would have loads more gear!


 
This.

I mean, we have situations like right now where we need to prioritize house work...and by housework, i mean: new roof, black mold remediation (newly discovered), remodeling, etc. 

In the end, it's called being a responsible adult and prioritizing needs over wants. If this is taken care of, the rest usually falls into place, at least with us.

She's the reason I got my Loomis, S-series, PodHD Pro, speaker cabinet, etc. To say she's supportive is putting it mildly.

Want the spouse off your backs? Don't spend on gear when there are NEEDS that have to be addressed. New gear usually isn't a need, it's a want.

My ex, on the other hand, was a total crotch about spending anything. She had a difficult time separating need vs. want and would nag if I even bought strings. One thing to note about this paragraph: "My ex" <--nuff said


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## ryanougrad (Apr 13, 2015)

Separate bank accounts.


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## Underworld (Apr 14, 2015)

ryanougrad said:


> Separate bank accounts.




Yes, just yes 


After 5 years, my gf and I still have separate accounts. Even for rent/food/pets. I pay, she refunds me.


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## Church2224 (Apr 14, 2015)

ryanougrad said:


> Separate bank accounts.



This. 

As long as the bills are paid and she is happy, who cares? I am pretty honest, it is my money and I work hard, so do not be surprised if Hubby Church comes home with some cool new toys every one and a while. 

Albeit I also have a problem bringing home guns and power tools too.


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## pondman (Apr 17, 2015)

littlebadboy said:


> I am not sure if this is in the right section, kindly move if needed...
> 
> I found out that there are some interesting articles to read at reverb. One of the discussion comments of an article caught my attention and it made me laugh. So I thought of starting this thread to find out what you do.
> 
> ...



^ The last one accompanied by a loud but confident fart.


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## naw38 (Apr 20, 2015)

I normally say "thank you", and then tell her it's the last pedal/amp/guitar/whatever, at which point she rolls her eyes and I back out of the room to play with my new toy.


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## CrushingAnvil (Apr 29, 2015)

MGTOW master race reporting in


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## metaljohn (Apr 29, 2015)




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## jimturmoy (Apr 30, 2015)

The way my SO and I see it, as long as the bills are paid what we do with the extra money we have is none of the other's business.










And she makes more money that I do anyways


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## tacotiklah (Apr 30, 2015)

jimturmoy said:


> The way my SO and I see it, as long as the bills are paid what we do with the extra money we have is none of the other's business.



Basically this. I'm a grown up and have the right to do what I please with the money that I earn. As long as I take care of the bills and personal responsibilities, I'm gonna buy whatever I want with the rest of the cash. My SO would be free to do the same.


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## Glass Cloud (Apr 30, 2015)

well I hope if I ever do get married that as long as all bills are paid I would still be able to spend the money I worked hard for on whatever I want. It's 2015 so It's not like men need to provide for two fully capable of working people. If my SO expects me to spend every penny I make on her well, goodbye there's plenty of fish in the sea.


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## tjrlogan (Apr 30, 2015)

I usually sell one, buy another, and if it's not too much of a cost difference just bring it into the house and stack with the rest when she's at work, and pray she doesn't notice (she usually doesn't, but that's just because she doesn't pay too much attention to my toys in the first place).


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## russmuller (May 2, 2015)

I got rid of the woman! I NGD WHEN I WANT!!!!!!!!


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## Rdizzle (May 3, 2015)

My wife does not approve of new purchases so i have become good at gear swaping with little to no money exchanged. I guess I'm like everyone else hanging on to a cpl prized pieces and swapping out the rest. And i have so much gear now it all looks the same to her (she has no intrest in any of my gear) so i can have something new for a year before she might say when did u get that  now dont get me wrong if I see something that Im hip on i will liquidate some items for the cash to get it but all in all usually no new money involved.


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## Low Baller (May 16, 2015)

My wife and I are saving for a house and also having four kids makes it hard to get gear. If we ever have money to spare she's usually cool about me getting gear but there's a system. It's a reservation system, aka marriage bank. How it works is whenever there's some spare money it usually goes to the kids, then to me or the wife or me. So whenever there's money to spare and the wife is thinking of getting her hair done, getting shoes, etc. I say "yeah honey go ahead don't worry about price get the nice shoes." Now I encourage her to splurg because I take mental note of each purchase example: shoes $60 hair $180= $240. So my gas list is m-audio, maybe fl studio or reaper, a 7 string. So next time we have spending I can say I want m audio and fl you spent 240 last time. BUT the marriage bank is still a bank and you don't get 240 back, you have to haggle. When you want gear it becomes well we should really save that, do you need all of that stuff we need to build savings some. So there's a deduction sadly I have determined I get about 25-50% of the total. But come something like tax time fair game. Two years ago I spent 600 on a Ibanez SR505pb with our return. My wife does want me to have gear cause she knows it makes me happy whenever I think of trading in gear she encourages me to not and wait until we save because she knows il miss the little gear I do have (I am no collector). But anyone have a 7 and want a great conditioned Ibanez S Classic 6 get at me it's discontinued.

One genius on another forum I go to has a whole massive collection of basses and guitars. His wife though he had maybe four. His trick he only got a few basic colors, red, white, green so he always refered to his bass or guitar as the white one or green one. Never the white PRS or white Les Paul, that's a man of genius.


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## Low Baller (May 16, 2015)

wildrat666 said:


> my wife plays to....good sometimes...sometimes too much gear



Well I offer a great service it's called Gear Overflow Consolidation. You have too much gear and it's an issue no problem send it my way I will take it for you. PM in the next ten minutes and we will throw in a plastic crate from my basement for storage. That's right free but only in the next ten minutes. If for any reason you're not satisfied with the amount of space you have I will take the rest of your gear free (just pay shipping and handling). But no need to send the crate it is our gift to you.


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## JeffFromMtl (May 16, 2015)

The women come and go, but the gear stays, god dammit!


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## SjPedro (May 18, 2015)

In my case I use two different tactics. 
One for my mom, the other for my girlfriend. 
For my girlfriend I use math and specify values of this and that and things I sold or bonuses I got at work and juggle around with values to show her that hey the bills are getting payed, and I can still get what I need (works for gear, doesn't work for the ps4 that i want  ) can't put the gear at my house because it's a small flat so it all goes back to my parents' house

For my mom I can't use math because she's a Physics graduate; so I either hide it for a long time, make her believe I always had that piece of gear or a combination of both.


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## mr coffee (May 18, 2015)

My wife knows my gear nearly as well as I do. I love her, she knows my taste in music, she knows my taste in gear, she knows what I'm likely to do with any given piece of equipment...she even identifies other peoples' gear and picks apart what they're doing on stage almost as much as I do. Of course, this means there is no slipping gear past her.

Every once in a while I use the approach of "it's easier to ask forgiveness than permission," but usually I just discuss the budget with her and explain what I need and why. If we can afford it, I get it. If we can't, I save up for it or wait until the bills are paid.

-m


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## littlebadboy (Mar 13, 2016)

45 ways to get a new guitar: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WkME7O1B-4M


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## Mathemagician (Mar 13, 2016)

Pro-tip bankroll their ability to take an artisticly-bent career. Watch as no one questions anything you do. Ever. I have less overall money to do what I want with. But if I bought new gear or a bunch of clothes there would be no "asking" required, only planning. 

Also, don't waste "purchase counts" buying ....ty gear you won't be happy with for a long while.


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## NicePants (Mar 14, 2016)




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## tacotiklah (Mar 14, 2016)

I also want to add that if you have to "get permission" or sneak guitar purchases that are otherwise reasonable since all the bills are paid and whatnot, there's probably much deeper issues going on in the relationship that aren't being addressed. If you feel like you gotta hide who you are to keep anyone else happy, you're going to be a very miserable person. Don't allow yourself to fall into this trap please. Financial abuse is an actual thing believe it or not (or so the forms my mental health worker had me sign says) where you're being told what, when, and how to spend your own money.


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## Petar Bogdanov (Mar 15, 2016)

The only question I get is "where are you gonna put it"? 

Independent finances are the .....


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## blacai (Mar 15, 2016)

I started dating one girl and just after a couple of days she said "I think you have too many guitars". I prefer hearing from her "Let's have a baby" than "you have too many guitars".

Not the good one


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## bpprox22 (Mar 15, 2016)

There are much more expensive hobbies... Being a pilot and owning airplanes, collecting sports cars etc. -- you get the point. Suddenly being a gear whore doesn't seem so expensive


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## tacotiklah (Mar 16, 2016)

^and there are a lot less expensive hobbies like collecting stamps or crocheting. In that light, wtf are you doing spending $5k on a guitar?


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## Steinmetzify (Mar 16, 2016)

We've had some fights about it, but nothing too serious. 

One of those things where it's a communication issue, and the wife and daughter 'need' more stuff than I do. I've started saving little amounts here and there and it's worked out better than "I'm going to spend $1,000+ on a new guitar..."

I don't really spend money, as far as it goes. I don't like shopping, I have more than enough clothes, shoes, games, etc....so when I do want to buy something it's always kind of a shock to her.

I don't actually need any more stuff....I have 10 guitars, a bass, an AxeII, couple amps, pedals, etc....so to grab anything more is really kind of stupid, especially when I know I'm either going to off it sooner rather than later or it's just going to sit.


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## Hbett (Mar 18, 2016)

For us it's way more of a space issue than a money issue... and that was greatly helped when I sold off most of my guitars, pedals, and amps to get an OS7 and an Axe fx II. Cleaned the living room right up.


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## Arkeion (Mar 18, 2016)

Most of the time I try a little trickeration. If I buy one, I also sell one. Never tell the whole truth, just partial truth, and you'll make it far. I usually have a month or so window to really keep things hush-hush until she forgets I even got a new guitar, then I'm free to loosen the belt a little bit.


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## Ralyks (Mar 19, 2016)

I just got my fiancee an LTD Xtone Paramount. I just ordered a PRS SE 7 string. If she says anything, well, I point out she got a guitar too. I work 50 hour weeks, I think I deserve a little something for myself here and there. Plus, it helps to be engaged to a singer-songwriter 

Update: it worked


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## kkaramazov (Mar 21, 2016)

Well, after 8 years with a chick that was a bit a psycho (not in a good way, but hey, you get stupid when it comes to the provider of thy nookie), and after A LOT of fights about gear (among other things), although all bills are paid and she always got what she wanted too, I'm now with a girl that's actually kicking my ass if I don't get something she read about on the internet 
She even got inspired to get a synthesizer 'cause she wanted to be on a piece that i'm writing 

So yeah been there, done that and came out with MOAR gear  (and sanity)


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## blacai (Mar 21, 2016)

tacotiklah said:


> ^and there are a lot less expensive hobbies like collecting stamps or crocheting. In that light, wtf are you doing spending $5k on a guitar?



enjoying life


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## thrsher (Mar 21, 2016)

my argument is simple, all the bills are paid and have i never not come up with the money when we needed it?


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## High Plains Drifter (Mar 21, 2016)

"Ramen and PB&J for the next month sound okay, babe?"


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## NoodleFace (Mar 21, 2016)

I try to be pretty responsible. I know we're working down debt (student loans, mortgage, etc.) so I try not to spend too much. If it's $50 here or there on a pedal or strings, usually I don't bother telling her. Anything over $50 and we discuss it - but that's a rule for any purchase in our house, her or me.

Yes, I make all the money in the house and she stays home with the kid, but this is a joint household. If she wants to buy some books or whatever, I don't care. If she wants to buy a video game, I don't really care either. If she wants to buy furniture, ok let's talk it through - can we afford it? Do we need it? etc.

Same thing with guitar purchases. Why do I need it? Is it a good deal? Is it filling a gap in my guitar lineup? etc.

We're generally pretty supportive of eachother. We're a team.


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## High Plains Drifter (Mar 21, 2016)

NoodleFace said:


> We're generally pretty supportive of eachother. We're a team.



That's it right there. ^^^


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