# Today, I have failed our gender



## Scar Symmetry (Dec 14, 2009)

I saw a picture on the interwebz yesterday of a bacon sandwich with 3 bits of bread and 4 bits of bacon so I tried it out this morning, alas I could not eat more than half of it 

At least I tried 

A picture of the Manwich:


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## meisterjager (Dec 14, 2009)

Man, that is appauling! Too much bread, too few bacon 

You _deserve_ a firm neg repping for your failure, but think of this as your first and final warning


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## Scar Symmetry (Dec 14, 2009)

Worst thing about it was, the bacon was so tasty, but the spread we've got at the moment is fucking awful so it rendered the whole thing inedible


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## DavyH (Dec 14, 2009)

meisterjager said:


> Man, that is appauling! Too much bread, too few bacon


 
Definitely. Another couple of slices of bacon would add to the overall grease content. The whole thing would slide down far more easily and you wouldn't get that stodgy build up on the uvula that makes swallowing sooooo difficult.

If in doubt, an extra dollop of HP Sauce would help.

Good idea, but a bit more planning required.

Oh yeah, and next time don't have the extra large pepperoni pizza 10 minutes before the sandwich.


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## MF_Kitten (Dec 14, 2009)

what spread did you put on it? there should be exactly NO spread on there, except for butter!

the only non butter/cheese/bacon thing on there should be smokey barbeque sauce, and then you should definitely be warming it up so the cheese is all melty.


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## Daemoniac (Dec 14, 2009)

Replace the bread with rashers of bacon and all is fantastic.


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## meisterjager (Dec 14, 2009)

Scar Symmetry said:


> Worst thing about it was, the bacon was so tasty, but the spread we've got at the moment is fucking awful so it rendered the whole thing inedible


 
Oh.. From a strictly engineering standpoint, the necessary additional lubricants can make or break a good bacon sandwich, man. Anchor is best, and Lurpak is good too, both needing a medium to heavy application and a generous portion of hot-from-the-pan bacon to really make it work. 

In the sauce category, Ketchup wins, and Brown Sauce is a strong competitor, though competition usually foreign to the bacon sandwich market such as Mayonnaise, Salad Cream and Burger Sauce should not be ruled out. Ditch all that for a thin scraping of Philedelphia soft cheese, though, and you are a king amongst men whilst you consume that beast - and you know it's gonna take it's time upon evacuation, too. You could have yourself a mondo bacon flavoured Mr. Hanky, helping you bring festive cheers and seasonal gagging of your family members this holiday season!

Mr. Dave, I rule you not guilty due to circumstances beyond your control.


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## JJ Rodriguez (Dec 14, 2009)

That bacon looks fucking disgusting and undercooked anyways. Crispy bacon > floppy donkey dick bacon.


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## Konfyouzd (Dec 14, 2009)

meisterjager said:


> Man, that is appauling! Too much bread, too few bacon
> 
> You _deserve_ a firm neg repping for your failure, but think of this as your first and final warning



This is why you could not finish. 

Your man gland detected that the bread to bacon ratio was entirely too high and rejected it.


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## TheSixthWheel (Dec 14, 2009)

JJ Rodriguez said:


> That bacon looks fucking disgusting and undercooked anyways. Crispy bacon > floppy donkey dick bacon.



Absolutely. Bacon needs to be crunchy in this instance. And most other instances also.

I have a friend who visits regularly, I cook him crazy epic sandwiches and burgers with bacon. He's always happy no matter what I cook him if the bacon breaks with a snap.


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## Konfyouzd (Dec 14, 2009)

^ is there any other bacon but crispy bacon? if there is no crisp then it's just shaved pig rib meat...


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## meisterjager (Dec 14, 2009)

Crispy bacon's not a very common thing in England from my experience. Our bacon looks, feels and acts like actual meat  Though.. I do love me some crispy bacon


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## Konfyouzd (Dec 14, 2009)

so you and the canadians are confused as to what bacon is all about...?


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## JJ Rodriguez (Dec 14, 2009)

I'm Canadian and I know all aboot bacon


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## Fred (Dec 14, 2009)

How the fuck could you only manage half a sandwich? Pitiful. Everyone knows you shouldn't have spread in there; just shitloads of HP and some chips. I'm revoking your man card.


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## djpharoah (Dec 14, 2009)

JJ Rodriguez said:


> That bacon looks fucking disgusting and undercooked anyways. Crispy bacon > floppy donkey dick bacon.



So fucking true


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## Fred (Dec 14, 2009)

Also, if you want to know what a manwich really looks like, try this:


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## MaxOfMetal (Dec 14, 2009)

This is why you're fat.


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## Scar Symmetry (Dec 14, 2009)

djpharoah said:


> So fucking true



Bacon in our country is more like thinly cut smoked gammon


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## troyguitar (Dec 14, 2009)

Crispy bacon on toast with peanut butter is pretty kickass


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## Swarth (Dec 14, 2009)

Fred said:


> Also, if you want to know what a manwich really looks like, try this:



i must have that sandwich.


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## meisterjager (Dec 15, 2009)

That sandwich looks awful



Scar Symmetry said:


> Bacon in our country is more like thinly cut smoked gammon


 
That looks like some kind of crazy bacon flavoured cream cake


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## vampiregenocide (Dec 15, 2009)

Ah Dave...I'm putting on weight and now I want bacon.

I never have a single bacon sandwich, they are always better in twos. That way, the other can watch and know what is to come.


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## 777timesgod (Dec 15, 2009)

People that eat sandwiches like those dont have many years ahead of them... Grease level overload!


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## TonalArchitect (Dec 15, 2009)

MaxOfMetal said:


> This is why you're fat.








The "Icingcano" 

Jesus fucking fuck.


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## Pauly (Dec 28, 2009)

Or better still: Bacon Explosion: The BBQ Sausage Recipe of all Recipes

LET'S MAKE BACON!!!


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## lewbob (Dec 28, 2009)

fully ashamed !!!!


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## Stealthdjentstic (Dec 28, 2009)

You know, the ban on baconspeak is still in force..


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## Scar Symmetry (Dec 29, 2009)

Stealthtastic said:


> You know, the ban on baconspeak is still in force..



False


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## All_¥our_Bass (Dec 29, 2009)

Needs more bacon.


















...And some Toblerone.


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## hairychris (Jan 11, 2010)

Or this:

Incoherent Ramblings: True Deliciousness - The Bacon Chicken Narwhal


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## ShadyDavey (Jan 12, 2010)

I've just seen this thread and have to say - if you had one of MY bacon sarnies you would have eaten it.....hand-reared and smoked prizewinning bacon....

However, for failing you ARE weak and without honour


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## Esp Griffyn (Jan 12, 2010)

Scar Symmetry said:


> Worst thing about it was, the bacon was so tasty, but the spread we've got at the moment is fucking awful so it rendered the whole thing inedible



Spread?! A bacon sandwich should be bread, bacon and sauce, no more, no less!


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## Varcolac (Jan 14, 2010)

This is the only way to do bacon sandwiches.


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## Scar Symmetry (Jan 14, 2010)

Esp Griffyn said:


> Spread?! A bacon sandwich should be bread, bacon and sauce, no more, no less!



That sounds horrible


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## unitas (Apr 5, 2010)

DavyH said:


> Definitely. Another couple of slices of bacon would add to the overall grease content. The whole thing would slide down far more easily and you wouldn't get that stodgy build up on the uvula that makes swallowing sooooo difficult.
> 
> If in doubt, an extra dollop of HP Sauce would help.
> 
> ...


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## InTheRavensName (Apr 5, 2010)

Bacon. Brie. Tomato Chutney (NOT ketchup)

Now that is a manly baconator, just be ready for the onset of gout in later years.


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## Xaios (Apr 5, 2010)

Varcolac said:


> This is the only way to do bacon sandwiches.



Holy crap, that is awesome!

My personal fav is basically well cooked grilled cheese sandwich w/ bacon, with some steak sauce for dipping. It's like eating a heart-attack, but sooooo gooood.


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## Origin (Apr 5, 2010)

Ranch dressing and Tabasco sauce make anything with bacon infinitely better.


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## Jtizzle (Apr 25, 2010)

Fred said:


> Also, if you want to know what a manwich really looks like, try this:


That just looks epic. Where can I get this! I NEED TO KNOW!


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## NixerX (Apr 30, 2010)

There is impressive and there is stupid. Stupid lives in this thread.


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## Scar Symmetry (Apr 30, 2010)

NixerX said:


> There is impressive and there is stupid. Stupid lives in this thread.





In the form of stupid bumps.


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