# Alton Ford F-650 XUV > Hummer



## djpharoah (Feb 8, 2008)




----------



## playstopause (Feb 8, 2008)

Looks bad. Reeeeeally bad.


----------



## Randy (Feb 8, 2008)

It's features are "cool" and all... but perhaps spending money developing something like that, with the price of gas being what it is, might not be the best move (IMO).


----------



## Popsyche (Feb 8, 2008)

How to prove you have the smallest dick in the world!  

The one spec missing is fuel economy. Diesel or not!


----------



## djpharoah (Feb 8, 2008)

Popsyche said:


> How to prove you have the smallest dick in the world!
> 
> The one spec missing is fuel economy. Diesel or not!





Its a caterpillar 7.2L engine - I'm sure you wouldn't need to see the fuel economy specs for that beast.


----------



## B Lopez (Feb 8, 2008)

That is entirely unnecessary.


----------



## DelfinoPie (Feb 8, 2008)

An over-sized fridge with wheels?


----------



## Lee (Feb 8, 2008)

Exactly what America needs! Another hideously bulging, over-the-top, gas-sucking, useless land-fucker of a vehicle.


----------



## Randy (Feb 8, 2008)

I'm looking for the "Flat Hardwood Floor" that's on the spec sheet...? 

EDIT: BTW, there's something disturbingly ironic about hardwood floors in an environmentally raping civilian issue tank.


----------



## ohio_eric (Feb 8, 2008)

I hope Kevan can keeps his pants on after seeing this.


----------



## Buzz762 (Feb 8, 2008)

Jeeze... That's cool.
Anyone else notice the lights on the top?
It looks more like it's designed for police/fire/security use or something.


----------



## D-EJ915 (Feb 8, 2008)

WTF  that is a monstrosity


----------



## Jason (Feb 8, 2008)

And that has what to do with a hummer? Hummers are meant to go offroad..this appears to just crush them under it's massive girth


----------



## D-EJ915 (Feb 8, 2008)

Jason said:


> And that has what to do with a hummer? Hummers are meant to go offroad..this appears to just crush them under it's massive girth


this is in the same contingent as the "pimped" and X3 hummers, the ones which are hardly off-roadable. 

Off-roadable = jeep wrangler


----------



## djpharoah (Feb 8, 2008)

Jason said:


> And that has what to do with a hummer? Hummers are meant to go offroad..this appears to just crush them under it's massive girth



Have you seen the latest hummers? Don't know about you but where I live hummers are a fashion accessory and cant go off-road with 24"s. This just crushes it in size.


----------



## Jason (Feb 8, 2008)

D-EJ915 said:


> this is in the same contingent as the "pimped" and X3 hummers, the ones which are hardly off-roadable.
> 
> Off-roadable = jeep wrangler



At least the x3 _can_ go off road a bit this thing looks like it would get stuck on a big curb


----------



## Jason (Feb 8, 2008)

djpharoah said:


> Have you seen the latest hummers? Don't know about you but where I live hummers are a fashion accessory and cant go off-road with 24"s. This just crushes it in size.



Um yes I understand this..Also don't forget I lived in Fort Lauderdale and been to miami and south beach many times dude south florida they got new malibus slammed on like 26's  But how many hummers come stock like that? Stock at least hummers can do some off road. This asswipe of a "truck" doesn't look like it could go in a inch or two of mud.


----------



## djpharoah (Feb 8, 2008)

Jason said:


> Um yes I understand this..Also don't forget I lived in Fort Lauderdale and been to miami and south beach many times dude south florida they got new malibus slammed on like 26's  But how many hummers come stock like that? Stock at least hummers can do some off road. This asswipe of a "truck" doesn't look like it could go in a inch or two of mud.



It was never meant to go off-road. I am not defending it but it seems like you missed the point of the truck. Its meant to be a pimped out truck which goes above and beyond any hummer in size and crap inside. Anyone even thinking of purchasing it will definitely never go off road.


----------



## Kevan (Feb 8, 2008)

The Alton F-650 has been around for a few years. 

Small cock? Hmmm...not sure on that. 
Shaq has one.
An F-650 that is.

Personally, I think it's silly. It's one thing to showcase your prowess as an aftermarket or specialty builder. It's another (dumb idea) to actually offer it for sale.

I don't have a 42" TV in my HOUSE. 

My truck is a work truck, that also happens to go very, VERY fast. I don't sit there and rub it with a diaper. It hauls stuff all over the place, including ALL my gear to Florida and back each year. (20 mpg, grass-lickers!)
I couldn't get 1/2 my gear into that F-650.

Only (1) 45 gal. tank? Wizzeak on the thought process front.

BTW- If you take anything other than an H1 off-road, you're deemed false.
And there will be plenty of YouTube vids to prove it.


----------



## D-EJ915 (Feb 8, 2008)

Jason said:


> At least the x3 _can_ go off road a bit this thing looks like it would get stuck on a big curb


driving across the field to soccer practice is not off-roading


----------



## Variant (Feb 8, 2008)

I deem this uber false. H1 Hummer would shit all over this off road. Granted, I hate the H2, H3, etc. (for the very same reasons to hate this thing) but H1 = cool. 

If you've actually got the coin and are concidering a joke such as this, grow a brain and get a conversion bus / RV and hire a driver.  Nothing trumps the on-road luxury of such dedicated touring vehicles... certainly not half assed towing trucks given the Pimp My Ride treatment.


----------



## Kevan (Feb 8, 2008)

Variant said:


> ...certainly not half assed towing trucks given the Pimp My Ride treatment.


Ummm...the Alton F-650 doesn't even come with a hitch.


----------



## Mastodon (Feb 9, 2008)

Fuck me.

And I thought the new F-550 was absurd.

Edit: Kevan, me and my Jeep Cherokee will have to strongly disagree with your H1 comment.


----------



## cadenhead (Feb 9, 2008)

Kevan said:


> Ummm...the Alton F-650 doesn't even come with a hitch.



Yet the spec sheet says it can call 25,999 lbs? 

 Maybe it's for hauling fat chicks in style.


----------



## Kevan (Feb 9, 2008)

Mastodon said:


> Edit: Kevan, me and my Jeep Cherokee will have to strongly disagree with your H1 comment.


I was referring to the Hummer line.
Sorry for any confusion.

H2's and H3's are made for off-roading like Jessica Simpson is made for NASA.



cadenhead said:


> Yet the spec sheet says it can *call* 25,999 lbs?


Did you mean HAUL?
I'm sure it *can* tow (why else would they put a CAT engine in it?). But on the display model- shown in the pics posted here- there's no hitch.


----------



## cadenhead (Feb 9, 2008)

Kevan said:


> Did you mean HAUL?
> I'm sure it *can* tow (why else would they put a CAT engine in it?). But on the display model- shown in the pics posted here- there's no hitch.





[action=cadenhead]fails at multitasking.[/action]

On a side note, was it Ford or Dodge that has the truck that you can actually hook up a trailer (the sort a semi pulls) to it as a production model?


----------



## Mastodon (Feb 9, 2008)

Kevan said:


> I was referring to the Hummer line.
> Sorry for any confusion.
> 
> H2's and H3's are made for off-roading like Jessica Simpson is made for NASA.
> ...



Ah okay, my mistake.


----------



## Lucky Seven (Feb 9, 2008)

I have seen 650s hauling stuff before...


----------



## Variant (Feb 10, 2008)

Lucky Seven said:


> I have seen 650s hauling stuff before...



Yeah, but this one is spec'd out four hauling thousands of gallons of _*DOUCHE*_!!!


----------



## JPMDan (Feb 10, 2008)

Looks like a Dodge Ram with a bad case of the shits.


----------



## msherman (Feb 10, 2008)

There is a pickup version on the Bay.


eBay Motors: Ford : Other Pickups (item 160207132004 end time Feb-14-08 09:44:46 PST)


----------



## Groff (Feb 11, 2008)

IIRC Shaq has one of these. And it's pimptastic.


----------



## sakeido (Feb 11, 2008)

cadenhead said:


> [action=cadenhead]fails at multitasking.[/action]
> 
> On a side note, was it Ford or Dodge that has the truck that you can actually hook up a trailer (the sort a semi pulls) to it as a production model?



The F450 can haul a LOT but still not a semi-style trailer. But it is peerless among relatively normal sized pickups.


----------



## djpharoah (Feb 11, 2008)

TheMissing said:


> IIRC Shaq has one of these. And it's pimptastic.


----------



## Groff (Feb 11, 2008)

cadenhead said:


> [action=cadenhead]fails at multitasking.[/action]
> 
> On a side note, was it Ford or Dodge that has the truck that you can actually hook up a trailer (the sort a semi pulls) to it as a production model?



I think that was a dodge. My friend and I were coming back from West Virgina, and on the highway (it was a little dark out) we thought we were passing a semi... It was a Dodge Ram that was uber rigged up. The lights even made it look like a semi. That thing was INSANE.

EDIT: I just read that the Alton F-650's CAT engine has provisions for a PTO!!  That's completely unnecessary, yet totally awesome.


----------

