# So I almost kicked the shit out of my father-in-law yesterday



## Rev2010 (Nov 22, 2010)

The father-in-law is the kind of guy that can get nasty when he drinks. He lives in the attic and doesn't have any rapport with his wife anymore since he's had many bouts of getting drunk and banging on her door (she lives on the 2nd floor) cursing her with all forms of obscenities. The wife and I live on the first floor. Never wanted to move in but her mother didn't want to rent out again cause the tenants kept wrecking the place and she made the rent rate really sweet.

Anyhow, he's always knocking on our door asking for alcohol, or a glass, whatever. Yesterday he asked my wife to borrow our vacuum cleaner. Sure, no problem, but I told my wife the canister is full and it's needs to be emptied. It's always a mess emptying it so I told my wife I'm not cleaning it out now but she can if she wants. Later I was outside smoking a cigar and he comes out and starts bitching to me that he's been waiting three hours for the vacuum. I explained that she said she would clean it out so to go ask her. Then the motherfucker has the balls to say, "You know... you're so fucking lazy!" several times and I snapped. I told him, "Who the fuck do you think you are talking to me like that!? Go fuck yourself!" etc etc.

Of course being under the influence he thought he was macho tough guy and got in my face with "You wanna go?" lmao. I warned him twice to back away and when he didn't I pushed him back and told him the only two reasons I won't hit him is because he's my father in law and because of his age. Though I really really wanted to. At this point the wife heard the commotion and came running out. We exchanged a few more angry words and he went inside.

It took soooo much will power not to clock him! But I just imagined him falling back and cracking his head on the concrete and whatnot, he's like 56 or so. Plus then there's the chance the authorities would come and waaaay more future tension in the house, though there will be already obviously. All this because he vented on me rather than simply asked his daughter about the vacuum. It ticks me off too because I basically do everything around the house - dishes, throwing out the garbage, dusting, cleaning up after the dogs, etc. My wife really has it made as I do 10x more than she, and I pay all the rent and bills as well. So it just really got to me when he was hassling me when he didn't even initially talk to me about it. Why not call *her* lazy???

Anyhow, any else ever get into a similar situation? If so, how'd it play out?


Rev.


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## pink freud (Nov 22, 2010)

For the sake of your marriage, move out.


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## splinter8451 (Nov 22, 2010)

pink freud said:


> For the sake of your marriage,* beat him down*.


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## Rev2010 (Nov 22, 2010)

pink freud said:


> For the sake of your marriage, move out.



Well she's on my side, she knows he's an asshole. He's not even her biological father, he came into her life when she was young though, like 2. She has a half sister at like 23 or so that lives upstairs. Even she hates her father. She won't outright say it, but she avoids him like the plague but happily takes any gifts he gives her, including the car that he still fills with gas. Great way to teach her responsibility huh?

I'm still pent up over this shit. I'm always happier after I actually do fight and always feel like shit when I have self control and refrain. Odd huh?


Rev.


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## Origin (Nov 22, 2010)

Fuck alcoholics. It's his choice to be an asshole; it can be your choice to cut him out of your life without remorse. 

Suppression of physical anger is a very positive thing to have/know, good on you for demonstrating it in such strenuous circumstances.


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## orb451 (Nov 22, 2010)

Rev2010 said:


> I'm still pent up over this shit. I'm always happier after I actually do fight and always feel like shit when I have self control and refrain. Odd huh?
> 
> 
> Rev.



Not at all. My wife's brother is a former drug addict and all around loser. When we were dating, meeting her mom for the first time, her brother started with 20 questions with me. He's standing up, I'm sitting in a chair, humoring him, being polite, answering his questions. Out of nowhere he cold cocked me in the side of the face, split me deep along my cheek bone. He thought I was an undercover cop brought there by her (HIS OWN SISTER) to bust him for some shit. 

It took quite a bit of self control not to level him. But being as it was my first time at her mom's house, trying to make a good impression, I let it slide. I should have gotten stitches afterwards but instead just let it go. I have a scar now because of him. 

As a result of holding back, I have since held a nice grudge. Won't go to any family function that he's going to be at, and kept him from going to our wedding (I don't want him around me, or my family). So my revenge has just been to sit back and laugh to myself everytime I hear about new drama of his. Fucking 5 years later and he still lives at home (27+ I think at this point), has a kid with some meth head, can't get or keep a job, is still paranoid and been in and out of jail. Just the sort of shitty life I'd expect for a piece of shit like him. 

So yeah, I totally relate. 100% on holding back and then feeling bad about it later. I should have kicked the shit out of him back then, but knowing he's still a loser and likely all he ever will be, life's done a good job of kicking his ass, I don't need to do anything else.

My advice is, do the same with your father in-law. Let life do its thing. And minimize your contact with him (hard as it might be), sooner or later he'll fuck up or fuck with someone he shouldn't with even less to lose and that'll be that. Problem solved. Just gotta be patient.


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## leftyguitarjoe (Nov 22, 2010)

Tell him what an alcoholic enema is and let him do the dirty work himself. Problem solved.


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## leandroab (Nov 22, 2010)

leftyguitarjoe said:


> Tell him what an alcoholic enema is and let him do the dirty work himself. Problem solved.



I didn't think people actually did this.

Holy. Shit.


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## techcoreriffman (Nov 22, 2010)

My dad is also an alcoholic 
One time, when he was drunk, he told me I was a worthless no good piece of shit freeloader who needs to get a job. I was 14. I told him that I couldn't. Then he pushed me. Then I knocked 1 of his teeth out. And he hit me back. And then we just had an all out fight for about 10 minutes. I got a broken nose, he lost some teeth and I cracked his jaw. 
Alcoholics suck.


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## Loomer (Nov 30, 2010)

Well, for what it's worth, a 14-year old being able to hold his own in a fight with a grown man and even cracking his jaw is kinda impressive.


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## jymellis (Nov 30, 2010)

i went through the same thing with my father in law sorta. he wasnt an drinker but a bi-polar asshole

. we had a few words a couple times. he threatened me once and i told him i would meet him. he didnt show up. i called and acted a child. blah,blah. couple months down the road and we meet, by chance, at a park, at a church with no one around. he asks me to talk to him (in a wannabe de-meaning tone) and tries to act mean. i smile and say OK  (keep in mind i was a physically abused child. not like slapped around but sent to my first day of kindergarten with a freshly casted arm from a beating). he then grabbed my arm to "direct me" for our talk. BOOM! out he went  he sat up and looked at me in amazement lol.

i told him to never put his fucking hands on me again or next time ill beat his eyes shut. never EVER put his hands on me,his wife,his kids, AGAIN. i made sure to let him know, i was now in the picture and shit was gonaa be a little different.

about 3 years down the road of being in the families life, mother in law and father in law got a divorse. i know for a FACT if i wasnt in the picture that would have never happened. their life is soooo much better now. mother in law is re-married to an awesome guy, blah,blah,blah.

moral-what you did was awesome at the time! but some people need to be put on their ass once or twice


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## Mordacain (Nov 30, 2010)

jymellis said:


> moral-what you did was awesome at the time! but some people need to be put on their ass once or twice



 In my experience, abusive people can't really be reasoned with and in those situations, a good display of power can be the only thing that resonates with them.


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## Nonservium (Nov 30, 2010)

Mordacain said:


> In my experience, abusive people can't really be reasoned with and in those situations, a good display of power can be the only thing that resonates with them.



This is truth. For various reasons, these types of people tend to live in their own little world. Sometimes you just have to bring reality back to them the hard way.


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## Tones (Nov 30, 2010)

Sounds like my own father. An alcoholic that blames all of his problems on the people that love him (or at least used to at one point). Because of his violent behavior, I've grown very apart from him. He still comes to me and harasses me over the most obscene things like "I left my cell phone charger plugged", and he never gives up unless there's some kind of fight. I never have the willpower to break his jaw only because he's my father, and I'm not going to stoop down to his level. He's been abusing my mother since marriage, and harassing me since my very early childhood. The best remedy is to move out.
You might regret it in the future if you physically fight him. He could be the kind of asshole that will press charges. Let him live his own sorry, lonely life. That's a pretty good punishment in my honest opinion. I can't imagine the pain and sadness in dying alone.


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## Rev2010 (Nov 30, 2010)

Tones said:


> You might regret it in the future if you physically fight him. He could be the kind of asshole that will press charges. Let him live his own sorry, lonely life. That's a pretty good punishment in my honest opinion. I can't imagine the pain and sadness in dying alone.



Totally. See he's a car/limo driver for a living, always has been. At 56 years old, having that job, being a smoker and a drinker, I just know he's in the worst shape. I actually worried that if I hit him he might even have a heart attack  

But in regard to your other comment... funny you mention it because on Thanksgiving I thought that very same thing. I'm upstairs eating a wonderful meal with the whole family, my mother & brother came as well, and he's never invited. He's totally cut off. Even on Christmas in the past we'd go up to the attic (as I mentioned where he lives) to exchange presents. You'd think at some point he'd stop and say, "Man... my wife wants nothing to do with me... my kids want nothing to do with me... and now the only friend I had (me) wants nothing to do with me."

I was the only person he got to hang out with outside in the backyard since I go out there and have a cigar and a drink. I drink alcohol too, definitely enough to be considered by many alcoholic, but I'm a happy drinker and it's beer not the hard shit. I also don't let it affect my life or job and don't "have to" drink. So I was the only friend he had to chill and have a conversation with.


Rev.


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## tacotiklah (Nov 30, 2010)

I went through something similar, except said asshole was also verbally and physically abusing my mom. 
Read this to see how I permanently fixed the situation:
http://www.sevenstring.org/forum/2160512-post82.html


I do everything I can to avoid physical violence, but sometimes it's not so much about hurting a person as it is standing up for what's right.


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## cwhitey2 (Nov 30, 2010)

wow that takes some balls to do nothing...i would have thrown him down stairs myself 








^jk


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## tacotiklah (Nov 30, 2010)

cwhitey2 said:


> wow that takes some balls to do nothing...i would have thrown him down stairs myself
> 
> 
> 
> ...




I'm one of those gentle giants that it takes a LOT to get me to the point of violence, but once I'm there, well.......I'll let my past victims speak for themselves.


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## Randy (Nov 30, 2010)

orb451 said:


> My advice is, do the same with your father in-law. Let life do its thing. And minimize your contact with him (hard as it might be), sooner or later he'll fuck up or fuck with someone he shouldn't with even less to lose and that'll be that. Problem solved. Just gotta be patient.



This.


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