# If SSO was a prison...



## josh pelican (Jan 28, 2011)

... who'd be inside for what?

This works well on other forums. Let's see if SSO can handle some fun.

Mods - Prison guards
Admin - Warden that stays out of it. 

Randy can be the half-crooked guard. He's got a tough guy facade, but he's pretty soft. There's a side to him the other guards don't know.
Max can be the nice guard that will offer second meals and have chats with the regulars that don't act out. Kind of like how guards were friends with Michael Duncan in the Green Mile.

I'd be that regular that's been in for so long no one remembers what he originally did. Whenever I get out of the cell I lash out at other inmates, but never lay a hand on guards. I almost consider them friends, but they have to keep an eye on me to ensure I don't strangle Leandro (who is a chronic kitten choker).


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## gunshow86de (Jan 28, 2011)

I'd be in charge of rape.


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## DVRP (Jan 28, 2011)

Im Morgan Freeman...


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## gunshow86de (Jan 28, 2011)

DVRP said:


> Im Morgan Freeman...



If we're playing it like that, I'll be Charles Bronson (the Michael Peterson one, not Deathwish).


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## Randy (Jan 28, 2011)

Whoever it is that's easy to bribe, I'm that guy. hint hint


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## cwhitey2 (Jan 28, 2011)

I like fire too much...


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## scherzo1928 (Jan 28, 2011)

I'd be the guy in a padded cell.

Or the one that escapes thanks to some clever use of a spoon, a can of beans, a left sock and a prision key.


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## leandroab (Jan 28, 2011)

I'll be the guy that is just escaping as we speak.


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## Asrial (Jan 28, 2011)

I'd be the obsessed nutcake that thinks he is a hen.


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## Meatbucket (Jan 28, 2011)

I'll be there for visitation.


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## gunshow86de (Jan 28, 2011)

Meatbucket said:


> I'll be there for visitation.



Of the conjugal variety?


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## ddtonfire (Jan 28, 2011)

I'd be inside just to be everybody's bitch.


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## poopyalligator (Jan 28, 2011)

I'd be the guy trying to build a guitar out of all of the scrap things I could find. *looking at the wooden bench thinking about how i could make a body and neck out of it* lol


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## Customisbetter (Jan 28, 2011)

I'm the guy that built every shiv in the place and profited greatly from them.

I'm also in charge of the Library.


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## Guitarman700 (Jan 28, 2011)

I'm the guy who makes and sells Pruno.
(Any adverse health affects suffered after ingesting my beverages are not my responsibility)


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## GuitaristOfHell (Jan 28, 2011)

I'd be the guy who everyone hates. Just because that's how it is in reality


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## ittoa666 (Jan 28, 2011)

Ted Kazinsky.


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## Treeunit212 (Jan 28, 2011)

Nelson Biederman the Fourth.

Just to be honest.


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## highlordmugfug (Jan 28, 2011)

I'd know muay thai by now, so I'd only be sleeping with those of you I was willing to.


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## Wingchunwarrior (Jan 28, 2011)

I'm the guy who dropped the soap


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## JeffFromMtl (Jan 28, 2011)

I'm the recluse that does nothing but read. Nobody knows what I did to get in here and I'm heavily-tattooed, leading many to believe that I have strong gang ties, therefore they fear me. I'm actually here for attempting to steal Shamu.


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## Chickenhawk (Jan 28, 2011)

I'm the guy that tries to intimidate everybody by yelling.

And got his stay extended for pissing on somebody...

EDIT:

Or the one everybody like/fears, when he actually never did anything to garner said respect/fear  That's how it is in real life.


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## GATA4 (Jan 28, 2011)

I'll be the one that rates shower rapes on a severity scale from -2 to 31 in order to regulate rape frequencies and make sure you get time off if you get it rough. At the end of an inmate's term, I'm also the guy responsible for putting together and displaying a powerpoint slideshow full of said inmate's experiences and finest moments whilst playing a fitting soundtrack.


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## leftyguitarjoe (Jan 28, 2011)

I'd be that guy that always somehow manages to have a stockpile of every drug in existence and sells them.


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## Guitarman700 (Jan 28, 2011)

leftyguitarjoe said:


> I'd be that guy that always somehow manages to have a stockpile of every drug in existence and sells them.



Except jenkem. Thats my turf.


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## Scar Symmetry (Jan 28, 2011)

Max would be the reliable, helpful, fair prison guard.

Mike (eaolian) would be the bearded, tattooed tough guy prison guard that you're scared of.

technomancer would be the joker prison guard, gives you a few warnings before he beats your ass down.

leandro would be the crazy guy that everyone knows is so crazy, he's probably not worth crossing. laughs a lot, it gets scary.

ralphy would be the nice guy, always checking to see how people are doing and making sure they've got enough smokes.

vampiregenocide would be the "WHYYY MEEEE" guy who was framed for killing his wife by getting set up by his old boss who was sleeping with his wife.

7SOH would be the resident asshole.

Rick would be the guy who tries to sell everyone Marlboro cigarettes because he gets paid by a guy from outside.

JBroll would be the German guy who beats EVERYONE at chess.

prydogga would be the small crazy Australian guy, like Keithy George in Chopper.

sami would be the mature, wise Asian dude who people turn to for guidance when going through tough times.

Demoniac would be the punk always getting in trouble and playing Warhammer in the courtyard.

bulb would be the guy that EVERYONE wants to be friends with because he can do magic tricks that no-one else can do.

synrgy would be the 30-and-bitter guy who's been shortchanged and hasn't forgotten it for one second. spouts wisdom occasionally, but mostly nonsense.

me? that's for you to decide.


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## Meatbucket (Jan 28, 2011)

Scar Symmetry - The story narrator, the man that knows everyone's story but never explains why he's there. Most of his input is valid. In truth, he's in for multiple consecutive life sentences. He earned his nickname from the crimes he's in here for. He had a knack for carving and sculpture and that took form in his killings and victims. That's right, he's in for murder. You see, he was the serial killer known to carve intricate patterns into his killings. The odd thing about these patterns is that they are all...Symmetric in Design.


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## Scar Symmetry (Jan 28, 2011)

Meatbucket said:


> Scar Symmetry - The story narrator, the man that knows everyone's story but never explains why he's there. Most of his input is valid. In truth, he's in for multiple consecutive life sentences. He earned his nickname from the crimes he's in here for. He had a knack for carving and sculpture and that took form in his killings and victims. That's right, he's in for murder. You see, he was the serial killer known to carve intricate patterns into his killings. The odd thing about these patterns is that they are all...Symmetric in Design.



 I like it!


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## JeffFromMtl (Jan 28, 2011)

Scar Symmetry said:


> me? that's for you to decide.



The conspiracy theorist who's convinced that we're not in here simply for penitence, but that it's all a front to cover up the horrible experiments, social and otherwise, that they're using us as guinea pigs for. You're also a notorious and furious masturbator, who'll put his tight right hand to work, regardless of where you are and who's watching.

edit: 'd


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## Scar Symmetry (Jan 28, 2011)

Great work!


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## KingAenarion (Jan 28, 2011)

Scar Symmetry said:


> bulb would be the guy that EVERYONE wants to be friends with because he can do magic tricks that no-one else can do.



Close...

I was more thinking he'd by the guy with mythical status because he's been there forever and knows how to get anything...


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## ROAR (Jan 28, 2011)

I'm only in here researching my role as Frightened Inmate #3.




These ice cream sandwiches are delicious!


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## highlordmugfug (Jan 28, 2011)

KingAenarion said:


> Close...
> 
> I was more thinking he'd by the guy with mythical status because he's been there forever and knows how to get anything...


If he was, then we'd have way too many other inmates who would be trying to be the guy who knows how to get anything. That wouldn't work out at all.


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## Customisbetter (Jan 28, 2011)

By the way I'm in for possession with intention to sell including Marijuana and all types of firearms. Also a large chunk of time is from speeding.

I'm just a Farmer guys.


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## vampiregenocide (Jan 28, 2011)

I wish I could tell you that Randy fought the good fight, and the Noobs let him be. I wish I could tell you that - but sevenstring.org is no fairy-tale world. He never said who did it, but we all knew. Things went on like that for awhile - ss.org life consists of thread bumping, and then more thread bumping. Every so often, Randy would show up with fresh threads. The Noobs kept at him - sometimes he was able to fight 'em off, sometimes not. And that's how it went for Randy - that was his routine. I do believe those first two years were the worst for him, and I also believe that if things had gone on that way, this place would have got the best of him.



Scar Symmetry said:


> vampiregenocide would be the "WHYYY MEEEE" guy who was framed for killing his wife by getting set up by his old boss who was sleeping with his wife.


 
It's like you're seeing into my future.


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## Cyanide Assassin (Jan 28, 2011)

Id be Rorschach...i love his line in thise scene...soo fuckin metal...


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## vampiregenocide (Jan 28, 2011)

I was going to say him.  So awesome.


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## BrainArt (Jan 28, 2011)

I'm the guy who is friends with everyone, but let's it be known that if anyone crosses me, they'll get shanked. And I'm the guy who keeps Ed's shiv business afloat.


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## Origin (Jan 28, 2011)

Superjail.


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## Varcolac (Jan 28, 2011)

I'd be Andy Dufresne.


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## highlordmugfug (Jan 28, 2011)

Origin said:


> Superjail.


I will gladly settle for being any character at all from that show.


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## vampiregenocide (Jan 28, 2011)

It would be a brilliant movie. Cameo by Seth Rogen and we're laughing.


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## Grand Moff Tim (Jan 28, 2011)

I'd be the baby bird in the old man's shirt pocket.


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## Stealthdjentstic (Jan 28, 2011)

I'd send nudes to the guards.


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## MaxOfMetal (Jan 28, 2011)

Origin said:


> Superjail.





That's easily one of my favorite shows. I have season one on DVD and it still cracks me up. 

Have you heard that Jason Publick from The Venture Brothers is on the writing team now? Get ready for the win. I just hope they start playing it in February like they planned instead of pushing back to May for sweeps. Really? Adult Swim gives a shit about sweeps week?


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## Explorer (Jan 28, 2011)

Seriously?

I'm the guy who is the fixer, who knows how to mediate and to ease the friction. I don't ask for a cut, just for a favor down the line. I don't help with drug deals. Even the hacks know I can smooth the way, but if they try to put the screws on me, they're wasting their time. 

When you've decided that you want some of the action, and since you obviously don't know that I don't work with any form of currency other than juice and network, you might lean on me a little, and then find out that both the Latinos and the White Power boys have got my back. Why? You'll never know, bitch. Barring that, you might think that you'll have better luck if you catch me alone... but then you find out the question is, do you want to dance? Because I *love* to dance.

Eventually, you might find out why people call me the Professor. At that point, you'll wish you hadn't. 

I'd probably be out by now, but I'm no longer allowed even those little pencils you use to fill out your requests on those little forms from the commissary, since the last time someone got stupid and wound up with that little stumpy golf pencil slapped flat through their eye with the palm of my hand. Can you believe they even count my plastic tableware after I'm done eating? Fuckin' hacks. Still, even though I didn't talk, they know that I wouldn't do something like that for no reason, so they put me back into GenPop after a few months in Solly. 

Every celly since then has been a perfect gentleman.

Oh, wait... is this supposed to be about our time in service to the state, or about doing federal time... or a *hypothetical* SS.org prison? 

Just ignore all that, then.


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## Prydogga (Jan 28, 2011)

Fzau would be the little gay man who got caught dealing heroin, and follows 'accused' rapist JohnIce. JohnIce settles all the 'man on man' problems.


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## gunshow86de (Jan 28, 2011)

I'd also like to be in charge of helping people pick up their dropped soap.


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## Thep (Jan 28, 2011)

I'm the one who beats the shit out of anybody who I feel are not worthy of my presence, and uses a charcoal pencil to create morbid artwork...because I'm so fucking metal.


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## Chickenhawk (Jan 28, 2011)

Thep said:


> I'm the one who beats the shit out of anybody who I feel are not worthy of my presence, and uses a charcoal pencil to create morbid artwork...because I'm so fucking metal.



Bring it


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## gunshow86de (Jan 28, 2011)

^

Come at me bro.


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## failshredder (Jan 28, 2011)

I'd be the guy who was there just to talk about what a ridiculous badass he'd be in prison. Just like everyone else.


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## josh pelican (Jan 28, 2011)

Jason, Jeff, Michael (Ibz_rg), and I are part of a click.

We don't need to ask why Jason is in here. Michael is in because he is guilty by association. He was with me. He's basically my bitch.

Every day I get a new hand poked tattoo.

I have weapons made out of everything. Blades in the end of toothbrushes, blades in deodorant, socks filled with bars of soap, knuckle dusters, and even a shiv disguised as a Cross of St. Peter:





I also deal cigarettes and other things that aren't discussed in the open.

I have 1,000 books with glued pages. I carved out squares to hide things. There's a lot of cell-to-cell communication via ropes and such. This way, people can throw food/money/smokes to other cells. For example, if someone needed protection services, or wanted to be part of a click, they would use the rope to throw currency to the appropriate cell.


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## Guitarman700 (Jan 28, 2011)

But do you a Cross of St Peter disguised as a shiv?


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## Origin (Jan 28, 2011)

MaxOfMetal said:


> That's easily one of my favorite shows. I have season one on DVD and it still cracks me up.
> 
> Have you heard that Jason Publick from The Venture Brothers is on the writing team now? Get ready for the win. I just hope they start playing it in February like they planned instead of pushing back to May for sweeps. Really? Adult Swim gives a shit about sweeps week?



I tried to pick up the DVD but everywhere in town sold out, as in the one place in my town that had it had one copy and some lucky asswipe got to it. I might order it, even though I already have it- completely...legally..some..how.  Wizards.

And really?!? Jesus, it's already a mind-bending hilarious superviolent trip through the psychedelic subconscious, now he's on?  I'ma bust when this one starts coming out, I can't get over how attached to that show I've become.


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## josh pelican (Jan 28, 2011)

It's all the same, really.


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## highlordmugfug (Jan 28, 2011)

MaxOfMetal said:


> That's easily one of my favorite shows. I have season one on DVD and it still cracks me up.
> 
> Have you heard that Jason Publick from The Venture Brothers is on the writing team now? Get ready for the win. I just hope they start playing it in February like they planned instead of pushing back to May for sweeps. Really? Adult Swim gives a shit about sweeps week?





Origin said:


> I tried to pick up the DVD but everywhere in town sold out, as in the one place in my town that had it had one copy and some lucky asswipe got to it. I might order it, even though I already have it- completely...legally..some..how.  Wizards.
> 
> And really?!? Jesus, it's already a mind-bending hilarious superviolent trip through the psychedelic subconscious, now he's on?  I'ma bust when this one starts coming out, I can't get over how attached to that show I've become.



I'm + repping both of you.


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## Guitarman700 (Jan 29, 2011)

Superjail Avatars. GO!


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## stryker1800 (Jan 29, 2011)

JeffFromMtl said:


> I'm the recluse that does nothing but read. Nobody knows what I did to get in here and I'm heavily-tattooed, leading many to believe that I have strong gang ties, therefore they fear me. I'm actually here for attempting to steal Shamu.



you sir should win this thread.


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## Scar Symmetry (Jan 29, 2011)

Prydogga said:


> Fzau would be the little gay man who got caught dealing heroin, and follows 'accused' rapist JohnIce. JohnIce settles all the 'man on man' problems.



JohnIce would also draw the inmates like Leo drew Kate in Titanic...

For a small fee


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## Cabinet (Jan 29, 2011)

I want to be the guy who's always screaming.

"Dude are you awake?"
"NO MAN, I'M TRYING TO SLEEP. SHUT UP BEFORE YOU WAKE EVERYONE"


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## AK DRAGON (Jan 29, 2011)

I'd be convicted of Vigilante justice and put in solitary confinement due to I'd attack anyone on the inside!


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## Soubi7string (Jan 29, 2011)

guy that randomly stabs things
and eats alot
-stabs mashed potatoes- COME TO ME YOU VILE SPUD!!!


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## CrushingAnvil (Jan 29, 2011)

I'd be the guy who is in for the old 'armed bank robbery' and is a total douche to all the younger offenders with their petty 'breaking and entering'/scaring the fuck out of old ladies 

Stealth would be...let's just say, an 'entertainer'.


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## CrushingAnvil (Jan 29, 2011)

gunshow86de said:


> ^
> 
> Come at me bro.



Don't spoon me breaux.


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## vampiregenocide (Jan 29, 2011)

Prydogga said:


> Fzau would be the little gay man who got caught dealing heroin, and follows 'accused' rapist JohnIce. JohnIce settles all the 'man on man' problems.


 
Nah JohnIce is the tragic teenage sweeheart who fell off the rails, stole his Dad's expensive car for a joyride and was involved in an accident. In prison he's the charismatic quiet guy who is always smoking.


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## Jogeta (Jan 29, 2011)

For being so shit at guitar that it is a criminal offense.


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## Fzau (Jan 29, 2011)

Prydogga said:


> Fzau would be the little gay man who got caught dealing heroin, and follows 'accused' rapist JohnIce. JohnIce settles all the 'man on man' problems.





Pry would be the criminal lowlife that was sent to a stupid island on the wrong side of the earth.. oh, wait..


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## Prydogga (Jan 29, 2011)

Ha! Jokes on you Tom! My family migrated here less than 100 years ago, NOT criminals! Unlike the stories the people from Antwerp tell me about you. Mr "Opts out of black tie, but not wearing pants, in public" I got dirt on you fuckermother


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## Randy (Jan 29, 2011)




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## JJ Rodriguez (Jan 29, 2011)

josh pelican said:


> We don't need to ask why Jason is in here.



Most people wouldn't know who you're talking about when you say this. But yeah, I don't think the reason I'm in there really needs any explanation


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## JamesM (Jan 29, 2011)

Lulz in this thread.


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## vampiregenocide (Jan 29, 2011)

I say we turn the tables and make JJ the Edward Norton character. He'll come out a better man, if a bit sore.


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## heilarkyguitar (Jan 29, 2011)

leandroab said:


> I'll be the guy that is just escaping as we speak.


 you'd be the guy shot . o'yeah prison sucked


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## Customisbetter (Jan 29, 2011)

failshredder said:


> I'd be the guy who was there just to talk about what a ridiculous badass he'd be in prison. Just like everyone else.



You and Jeff would be the biggest fucking downers of the yard.


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## TimSE (Jan 29, 2011)

"Didnt do it. Lawyer fucked me..."


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## caparison_x (Jan 29, 2011)

Accomplice in several indictments. Mainly Money Laundering , Drugs , Weapons and Violence  In prison I would know everyone since I would've worked with them on the out.


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## josh pelican (Jan 29, 2011)

I am hoping to get out with the help of Joel Pink.


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## Rick (Jan 29, 2011)

Cabinet said:


> I want to be the guy who's always screaming.
> 
> "Dude are you awake?"
> "NO MAN, I'M TRYING TO SLEEP. SHUT UP BEFORE YOU WAKE EVERYONE"



"You know, it's really hard to masturbate with you guys talking!"

"Not for me!"


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## ittoa666 (Jan 29, 2011)

Rick said:


> "You know, it's really hard to masturbate with you guys talking!"
> 
> "Not for me!"


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## highlordmugfug (Jan 29, 2011)

Arrested somewhere where suicide is still a felony, I'm afraid I won't be a very entertaining cell mate. 


Or... 

perhaps I'll be a VEERRRRYY interesting one for some of you guys. <.<
>.>
X.X


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## caskettheclown (Jan 29, 2011)

They call me the health inspector!


Bend over and pick up that soap!
You didn't clean behind your ears or nothin!


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## groph (Jan 29, 2011)

I have no idea what I'd be. Anybody?


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## highlordmugfug (Jan 29, 2011)

Off topic: I have the superjail T-shirt that is the wardens tux. I want to get the actual ensemble put together.


@Groph: uh... going from your avatar as inspiration, the guy with the conjoined twin sticking out of his head, that goes way harder than you do. 

Like you've got a gangster ass little jockey on you.


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## PyramidSmasher (Jan 29, 2011)

public masturbation


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## SirMyghin (Jan 29, 2011)

If SSO was prison, Randy would throw people who don't like sprankles in the hole


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## gunshow86de (Jan 29, 2011)

SirMyghin said:


> If SSO was prison, Randy would throw people who don't like sprankles in the hole



If SSO was a prison, I'd throw my sprinkles in Randy's hole.


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## josh pelican (Jan 29, 2011)

If SSO was a prison, a lot of you would be made little bitches.

I'm like Riki-Oh. But white.


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## gunshow86de (Jan 30, 2011)

josh pelican said:


> If SSO was a prison, a lot of you would be made little bitches.



Muah, a bitch? Ain't happenin' brah. I'll go all fuck'n' Chopper on their ass.


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## Guitarman700 (Jan 30, 2011)

gunshow86de said:


> Muah, a bitch? Ain't happenin' brah. I'll go all fuck'n' Chopper on their ass.


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## Randy (Jan 30, 2011)

You got a purdy mouth.


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## josh pelican (Jan 30, 2011)

You can be part of the click due to the fact you look fucking massive.


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## Rick (Jan 30, 2011)

gunshow86de said:


> If SSO was a prison, I'd throw my sprinkles in Randy's hole.



I think everyone would.


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## petereanima (Jan 31, 2011)

I cant even remember why i was locked up, but right now:

I'M IN YOUR SHOWER


WAITING FOR YOU TO LET THE SOAP DROP.


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## gunshow86de (Jan 31, 2011)

SSO is a prison. A prison of the mind. Once you're in, there is no escape.


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## jymellis (Jan 31, 2011)

id be the guy that sells "new fish" for drugs


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## Chickenhawk (Jan 31, 2011)

gunshow86de said:


> Muah, a bitch? Ain't happenin' brah. I'll go all fuck'n' Chopper on their ass.



That's some nice facial hair you got...

...for a 12 year old.


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## gunshow86de (Jan 31, 2011)

^

Looks fake. 

My mustache is intentionally trimmed short. It drives me nuts when my mustache hangs over my top lip. In general, I keep my entire beard (not pictured) really neat and tidy. Notice the perfect lines on the fu-manchu?


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## sun_of_nothing (Feb 1, 2011)

haha why does everybody hate on leandro?

I saw it in the infamous "meme thread", and now here.


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## Prydogga (Feb 1, 2011)

Infinity complex is actually Lemmy's more attractive twin.


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## Chickenhawk (Feb 1, 2011)

gunshow86de said:


> ^
> 
> Looks fake.



Fake?









Not so much.

My girlfriend is actually pissed at me because of it. She was upset when I told her I was growing my beard back out (I once had an amazing full beard, but randomly shaved it all off), but since I did the 1800-do, she flipped her fucking lid 

I'm planning to let the sides grow pretty long. Might curl them for a steam punk themed Halloween ensamble.


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## Daemoniac (Feb 1, 2011)

^ For the love of God, grow it longer and buy yourself a top-hat


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## gunshow86de (Feb 1, 2011)

Daemoniac said:


> ^ For the love of God, grow it longer and buy yourself a top-hat



And a corn-cob pipe. Possible monocle.


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## jymellis (Feb 1, 2011)

sun_of_nothing said:


> haha why does everybody hate on leandro?
> 
> I saw it in the infamous "meme thread", and now here.



i love leandro! and its not hating. its giving a hard time. like with your little bro


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## sun_of_nothing (Feb 1, 2011)

jymellis said:


> i love leandro! and its not hating. its giving a hard time. like with your little bro



hahah I got ya.


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## leandroab (Feb 1, 2011)

sun_of_nothing said:


> haha why does everybody hate on leandro?
> 
> I saw it in the infamous "meme thread", and now here.



SS.ORG has a growing secret pocket of hate, supposedly led by josh pelican.


Idk man. Haters gonna hate...


And I'll shank them mothafuckas


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## Scar Symmetry (Feb 1, 2011)

I've heard that leandro makes love to jars of jam whilst listening to UB40 in public places.


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## ROAR (Feb 1, 2011)

After I kill White Power Bill,
I will be known all around the land as...

Dorothy.


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## Chickenhawk (Feb 1, 2011)

gunshow86de said:


> And a corn-cob pipe. Possible monocle.





Daemoniac said:


> ^ For the love of God, grow it longer and buy yourself a top-hat



And this is why this community is so amazing.

I will keep your suggestions in mind, fine gentlemen.


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## 13point9 (Feb 1, 2011)

all about being a Steampunk Villain


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## gunshow86de (Feb 1, 2011)

Actually, scratch the corn-cob pipe. You need the pipe that Hans Landa has in Inglourious Basterds (must. resist. urge. to. correct. spelling.).


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## Cabinet (Feb 1, 2011)

That thing looks like a mushroom

Or a UFO


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## Chickenhawk (Feb 1, 2011)

gunshow86de said:


> Actually, scratch the corn-cob pipe. You need the pipe that Hans Landa has in Inglourious Basterds (must. resist. urge. to. correct. spelling.).



You know whats fucking freaky about that? I was hanging out with some friends a few days ago, and we were discussing me getting a pipe, and that exact same idea came up. 

What's cooler than walking into a bar, with a waxed and curled 1800 on your face, tweed top hat, and you pull a massive Hans Landa pipe out of your pocket?

Nothing. That's what.


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## josh pelican (Feb 1, 2011)

All of the hate in the world comes from me.

What's up?


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## techcoreriffman (Feb 1, 2011)

I'd be that quiet kid in the corner who disagrees with everyone and looks like he's about 17 years old and has been shooting up heroin for about 10 years.

Nobody messes with me, because they're afraid I'll tweak in just the wrong direction, and shank the fuck out of them. 

I'm also the drug dealer.


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## tacotiklah (Feb 1, 2011)

I would be a white version of the dude on the right in this pic:






I would ask you if you're finished wit yo' cornbread, and god help you if you say no.


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## Meatbucket (Feb 1, 2011)

ghstofperdition said:


> I would ask you if you're finished wit yo' cornbread, and god help you if you say no.


The funniest thing about this is that I swear to whatever higher power is up there that I'm actually eating cornbread this very moment.


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## tacotiklah (Feb 1, 2011)

Meatbucket said:


> The funniest thing about this is that I swear to whatever higher power is up there that I'm actually eating cornbread this very moment.



Correction:

You WERE eating cornbread when you read that. You are now giving what's left of your cornbread to me.


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## Raoul Duke (Feb 2, 2011)

I'd strive to be this dude


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## Dan (Feb 2, 2011)

Safe to say i have 'd many times in this thread. 

I'd have to be in there for stealing money from old people to fuel my GAS


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## gunshow86de (Feb 2, 2011)

Hey, I called dibs on being Chopper first!!! You can have him, only if you are willing to cut off your own ears to get out of H-wing.


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## Raoul Duke (Feb 2, 2011)

gunshow86de said:


> Hey, I called dibs on being Chopper first!!! You can have him, only if you are willing to cut off your own ears to get out of H-wing.



Done and done 




"Look what you've gone and done, your mums upset...."


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## Randy (Feb 2, 2011)




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## Prydogga (Feb 2, 2011)

I'd e the guy claiming that my family are sending me cakes with razors in them, so everyone thinks I have a stash of about 400+ razors, and possibly a stick to attach them too, but really, all I'm doing is receiving delicious cake.


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## josh pelican (Feb 2, 2011)

I want to be a Don in prison. Everything that happens must go through me.



ghstofperdition said:


> I would be a white version of the dude on the right in this pic:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Fuck. I was hoping you wouldn't post here, mainly because you're the biggest dude on this board.


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## Raoul Duke (Feb 2, 2011)




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## tacotiklah (Feb 3, 2011)

josh pelican said:


> I want to be a Don in prison. Everything that happens must go through me.
> 
> 
> 
> Fuck. I was hoping you wouldn't post here, mainly because you're the biggest dude on this board.





Yeah I probably am. I'm like the big dude that if you try to fuck with, they would find your defecated remains floating in my cell's toilet.


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## liamh (Feb 4, 2011)

I'm the guy who gets tormented daily, but I pretend to myself that its just a little joke and that you lot are actually my friends.
It's probably because, influenced by my hero Alexander McQueen, I customize my jumpsuit to make it 'super-cute'


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## 13point9 (Feb 4, 2011)

I'm the guy who listens to everyones problems and sometimes comes up with 'advice' for them... yes it DOES happen 

and for all this advice I'm taken care of in regards to supplies and protection


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## tacotiklah (Feb 4, 2011)

I wanna be the "fixxxer" type dude if I were ever in prison. Basically I would know everyone and could get my hands on anything any time I wanted.


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## ZEBOV (Feb 5, 2011)

I'm the guy that tortures and kills the child molesters for fun.


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## josh pelican (Feb 5, 2011)

That means you gotta torture JJ.

Which means you have to get through us first.


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