# I Love It When A Plan Comes Through!



## WayneCustom7 (Apr 8, 2006)

So, last night we had a practise, and lately things have been moving along nicely. We jam for about an hour or so, to loosen up and then we get to work. Sometimes we play certain parts over and over again just to get it right, but I love it. Up until now the keyboard player hasn't been able to make it, til last night, so I was a little nervous, thinking perhaps we wouldn't get that much work done. What I did want was to work on this new section of a song I had written , a bridge if you will where the keyboard has the floor, then we come in, attacking while he plays his riff. So after a light jam, which went really well, we begun working on this part. Man oh man it came together and it was exactly as I had imagined it to be. I showed him the lick on my guitar and reinforced it using my mouth. He picked it up nicely and we looped it so he could get it right. In fact we were so tight that we learned another part I had written and put everything together from start to finish. The only thing remaining is our solos and the vocals. I must admit, working on stuff, as opposed to simply fucking around is great. I am really enjoying this band thing. Sure I need to swallow up some pride, but hey I'm getting really good at it!


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## 7slinger (Apr 8, 2006)

sometimes the instances where things "come together" seem to be few and far between, at least in my practice space...but they are quite enjoyable.


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## eleven59 (Apr 8, 2006)

My band's getting really tight as far as working on new ideas and getting our arrangements together, but our singer's actually getting worse...it sucks.


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## Shawn (Apr 8, 2006)

Thats great news, Paolo, that you're progressing with the band and most of all, having fun, from what i've heard so far, I thought was cool.


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## Chris (Apr 8, 2006)

eleven59 said:


> My band's getting really tight as far as working on new ideas and getting our arrangements together, but our singer's actually getting worse...it sucks.



Make her play naked.


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## Leon (Apr 8, 2006)

awesome man! good news


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## WayneCustom7 (Apr 8, 2006)

Shawn said:


> Thats great news, Paolo, that you're progressing with the band and most of all, having fun, from what i've heard so far, I thought was cool.


Thanks, I can't wait too share a complete and well worked out song with you guys, but I/we don't want to rush it. Hopefully we can get something recorded soon. I know in the past I was second guessing this, but during that little break I came to realize how important this situation really is.


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## metalfiend666 (Apr 9, 2006)

Good to hear it's working out for you now, I know you had some problems with it a while back. Bands are like relationships, sometimes it's good, sometime's it's bad. If you want to get the best out of it you've just got to work through the bad bits.

Here's hoping it continues going well for you! I'm looking forward to hearing some tunes.


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## The Dark Wolf (Apr 9, 2006)

Great news, Paolo. It's a good feeling, isn't it? Most of my band's practices go like that (at least when copious amounts of alchohol aren't involved  ), and it's a terrific feeling. In fact, we only ever goof off if we choose to. Most of the time it's nose to the grindstone, and that's the way I prefer.

Keep it up, dooood!


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## WayneCustom7 (Apr 9, 2006)

Thanks for the support guys, it means alot, especially from you guys. Although most of you are younger, your experience in music is what I look to. And yes music is like a relationship, I always said the two hardest things in life are marriage and keeping a band togther.


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## eleven59 (Apr 9, 2006)

Chris said:


> Make her play naked.


That would only be encouraging part of the problem  

She's getting really insecure, self-conscious, and superficial, and focusing more on her image than her singing and our songs. 

She wants to be a model, and it seems like she doesn't take the band seriously anymore.


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## Shannon (Apr 9, 2006)

^ I could've told you that judging by her MySpace account. She's all about attention and that's it. 

1) insecure
2) self-conscious
3) superficial
4) focused more on her image than her singing and the band
Yep, sounds like a recipe for disaster.
_"Look at me, look at me, look at me....PLEEEEEEASE look at me! And oh yeah, I have a band too." _


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## eleven59 (Apr 9, 2006)

Shannon said:


> ^ I could've told you that judging by her MySpace account. She's all about attention and that's it.
> 
> 1) insecure
> 2) self-conscious
> ...


Yeah, the sad part is that she wasn't always like that, and she was getting even more secure and into the music for a while, and then her boyfriend (who's a great guy who we all like) dumped her, and she pulled an extreme 180-degree turn. We're having a serious band meeting about the shit she's been pulling lately tonight. Wish me luck. You may see me here tomorrow looking for a new singer and a new band name  

And the really strange part is that she gets really shy on stage, she barely moves, and she doesn't like talking to the audience between songs while we tune or anything, it kills all the energy in our shows and she has no desire to work on it to improve.

...and I'm not sure I should be passing this on, as she doesn't even know anyone in the band knows about it. Just don't go spamming her myspace mentioning it or ratting me out or anything lol I'm the only one in the band that knows about it as far as I know. I stumbled across it after looking at some of her pictures on Deviantart, where she linked to the photographer's page, who had a picture of her on his page with this web address on it (not entirely work safe) http://www.cypherica.com


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## Papa Shank (Apr 9, 2006)

eleven59 said:


> ...and I'm not sure I should be passing this on, as she doesn't even know anyone in the band knows about it. Just don't go spamming her myspace mentioning it or ratting me out or anything lol I'm the only one in the band that knows about it as far as I know. I stumbled across it after looking at some of her pictures on Deviantart, where she linked to the photographer's page, who had a picture of her on his page with this web address on it (not entirely work safe) http://www.cypherica.com


Looks like another suicidegirls.com style site.


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## eleven59 (Apr 9, 2006)

Papa Shank said:


> Looks like another suicidegirls.com style site.


Yeah, I didn't say she (or her friends) were extremely original


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## Shannon (Apr 9, 2006)

Yep, sounds like it's time to ditch her. That, OR you could get another singer & have her be the eyecandy backup dancer.


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## eleven59 (Apr 9, 2006)

Shannon said:


> Yep, sounds like it's time to ditch her. That, OR you could get another singer & have her be the eyecandy backup dancer.


Yeah, we're going to give her a chance to defend herself and talk some sense into her because we (me, her, and the bassist) have been friends since high school, but it's looking more and more like she's not really into it anymore. Looks like I'll be bringing the van to practice tonight in case I need to bring home all our (mine and the drummer's) gear. 

My girlfriend had the clever suggestion that if we get a new singer, we should get another Jason (both the drummer and bassist are named Jason), at which point my bassist commented "We could call ourselves 'Aaron and the Jasons'"


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## Shannon (Apr 9, 2006)

Between all of modeling aspirations & her getting dumped by her boyfriend, she's problably got a lot on her plate emotional. That could be why she's "out of it." 

Question: What did her boyfriend dump her for? Could it be that he had similiar issues that the band has with her currently? It might be something worth looking into. Learn from the trials and tribulations of others.


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## eleven59 (Apr 9, 2006)

Shannon said:


> Question: What did her boyfriend dump her for? Could it be that he had similiar issues that the band has with her currently? It might be something worth looking into. Learn from the trials and tribulations of others.


He dumped her because she's very into public displays of affection (and making it clear that she's in a relationship, and this guy belongs to her), and he's not (he's a more private kind of guy), and she's too stubborn to do anything for anyone other than herself. 

So...yeah, probably a good indicator


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## Shannon (Apr 9, 2006)

eleven59 said:


> He dumped her because she's very into public displays of affection (and making it clear that she's in a relationship, and this guy belongs to her), and he's not (he's a more private kind of guy), and she's too stubborn to do anything for anyone other than herself.
> 
> So...yeah, probably a good indicator



A bit of PDA is fine, but there's nothing worse than some insecure chick hanging all over a guy when all she's really doing is staking her claim. Sorry, but that's just irritating. What happened to just hanging out? I prefer chicks who can hang out like they are "just one of the guys." But when we get home, she can stake her claim all she wants. Ya follow? 

Overall, neediness is not a becoming trait. Because you are guys, she will expect you to do a lot of shit FOR her in the future. I can see it now. When she's in a band, she needs to toughen up a bit.


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## Drew (Apr 9, 2006)

Honest opinion, Aaron? She's cute, she's probably cool, but she can't harmonize or double track for shit. Not a problem live of course, but in the studio...

Talk with her, she's probably going through a lot and has a lot on her mind. Maybe she just needs some time to pull herself back together, but ultimately if she's not into it then it's just not going to work. Make it amicable, stay friends, and all that - it's business not friendhsip, and it sounds like her head might be elsewhere anyway - but if it's not working, you can't force it. 

Oh, and if she's available, um, tell her you know this really awesome guitarist down in Boston that'd be more than willing to take her out for a couple drinks and talk to her about what's on her mind...


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## eleven59 (Apr 9, 2006)

Shannon said:


> A bit of PDA is fine, but there's nothing worse than some insecure chick hanging all over a guy when all she's really doing is staking her claim. Sorry, but that's just irritating. What happened to just hanging out? I prefer chicks who can hang out like they are "just one of the guys." But when we get home, she can stake her claim all she wants. Ya follow?
> 
> Overall, neediness is not a becoming trait. Because you are guys, she will expect you to do a lot of shit FOR her in the future. I can see it now. When she's in a band, she needs to toughen up a bit.


The ironic part is that she seems to feel like she is "toughening up" by shutting off emotionally, shutting out the world, and getting the attitude of "everyone's out to get me, so fuck everyone". 

The worst part is that she hasn't contributed anything financially to the group. My drummer bought the PA and the bassist paid for half (we were going to split it evenly among the four of us, and I still intend to pay my share, our bassist just payed our singer's share because he knew she'd never pay), and she's using our drummer's microphone. She has no gear of her own, myself and our bassist do all the driving everywhere and pay for the gas involved in that, and we (me, bassist and drummer) paid for all the supplies when we decided to make up a bunch of CDs.

And at shows, she complains that we have to show up so early, she complains that we're going on late, she complains that we're not getting paid much, she complains that she's not allowed to get drunk before going on spock, she refuses to spend time at the merch table, and she disappears with her friends before and after our set so that we have to track her down before we can go on stage. And, again, she didn't use to be this way.

I'm totally with you about girls who can just hang out. My girlfriend and I are friends before anything else, and we can just hang out, alone, or with other friends, without it having to turn into an awkward situation for those around us lol



Drew said:


> Honest opinion, Aaron? She's cute, she's probably cool, but she can't harmonize or double track for shit. Not a problem live of course, but in the studio...


Very true, and she refuses to work on it to improve. I do the harmony parts live of course, but now she's singing her parts differently and so I can't do the harmony parts and have them fit. 



> Talk with her, she's probably going through a lot and has a lot on her mind. Maybe she just needs some time to pull herself back together, but ultimately if she's not into it then it's just not going to work. Make it amicable, stay friends, and all that - it's business not friendhsip, and it sounds like her head might be elsewhere anyway - but if it's not working, you can't force it.


That's pretty much we're thinking. 



> Oh, and if she's available, um, tell her you know this really awesome guitarist down in Boston that'd be more than willing to take her out for a couple drinks and talk to her about what's on her mind...


I forgot to mention, she's got a new boyfriend (within a week of the last guy), who we were introduced to as "This is who I'm fucking now", who's been showing up to all of our practices, and who she talks to in the corner when she should be working on our new songs. If anything, I think he's encouraging the negative aspects in her.

Did I also mention that she enjoys hitting guys in the junk?


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## Drew (Apr 9, 2006)

haha, no, you didn't.  I'll be sure to wear a cup if I ever meet her. 

FWIW, after a similar expeience, where the bass player and drummer were incapable of doing anything without their girlfriends present (I know, right? WTF, a bassist and drummer?), I've been a BIG proponent of "no significant others at rehearsals" for all the bands I've been in. On RARE occasions, sure, but when you're practicing, you're there to practice, not impress your girlfriend. Seriously, unless you just happen to have a really cool, knowledgeable "one of the guys" music lover girlfriend (never gonna happen), it's just bad karma. 

Look at what happened to Lennon - I rest my case.


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## eleven59 (Apr 9, 2006)

Drew said:


> I've been a BIG proponent of "no significant others at rehearsals" for all the bands I've been in.


That's been the rule since day one. Which is why we can't figure out why she hasn't even asked us if he could hang around. When we were just running the setlist it's not a big deal, and we've had friends over to check us out when we were gearing up for our first shows, but the rule is we have to make sure everyone's cool with it, and absolutely not while we're working on new material.


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## Shannon (Apr 9, 2006)

Drew said:


> Honest opinion, Aaron? She's cute, she's probably cool, but she can't harmonize or double track for shit. Not a problem live of course, but in the studio...
> 
> Talk with her, she's probably going through a lot and has a lot on her mind. Maybe she just needs some time to pull herself back together, but ultimately if she's not into it then it's just not going to work. Make it amicable, stay friends, and all that - it's business not friendhsip, and it sounds like her head might be elsewhere anyway - but if it's not working, you can't force it.



This sounds like the same situation I had with Deadly Kristin, formally of the Italian black metal band, Ancient (Metal Blade Records). She started singing for my previous band, Byaxis. In the underground metal world, she has a huge following & so we were pretty excited to have her aboard. She sounded great at rehearsal, but it was a whole different story when we got her into the studio. Good god, what an abortion. The music sounded great, but she sounded like a cougar getting strangled! Horrible, just horrible. 

I had to have a band meeting and politely excused her from the band. She cried & I felt pretty bad, but it hd to be done. We are still friends to this day, but there was just NO WAY I could let those vocals destroy the music I worked so hard on. 

Wanna know the meaning of horrible? Check this shit out!  
Exhibit A
Exhibit B


God, I can't even listen to it. It's THAT bad! To this day, she still thinks it's the coolest thing ever.


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## Drew (Apr 9, 2006)

good lord, shannon.


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## Shannon (Apr 9, 2006)

Drew said:


> good lord, shannon.


EXAAAAAAAACTLY! Horrible, isn't it? I think I made the right choice by canning her.


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## Drew (Apr 9, 2006)

Moments aren't bad, but, um, a little straint wouldn't kill her, you know?


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## eleven59 (Apr 11, 2006)

Well, we talked to our singer a little bit, but mostly we're all too nice  We're going to sort of tackle each issue as it comes up again. But things aren't looking good so far.


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## metalfiend666 (Apr 12, 2006)

eleven59 said:


> Well, we talked to our singer a little bit, but mostly we're all too nice  We're going to sort of tackle each issue as it comes up again. But things aren't looking good so far.


 
She obviously has a lot of personal issues right now, but there's no excuse to treat the rest of the band the way she has. She should have her own gear, pay her share of the PA, cd & petrol costs and she needs to take her turn on the merch stand. She also needs to respect your views and stop bringing her "latest fuck" along to rehearsals without asking. Also when you gig the band should stay together as a unit with only the occasional 2 minute trip to speak to someone. It's about cameradery and getting into the gig spirit.

From what I've read in this thread, just ditch her. Seriously. Everything Shannon and Drew have said is good, honest advice and I can see you've been listening from your replies, but you've got to face it in real life. As it stands she is holding the band back and causing you lots of aggrevation. I don't think she has the mindset to change right now. Just lesson the hassle for the rest of you and ditch her now. Otherwise you'll just be doing it in 3 or 4 months anyway.


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## eleven59 (Apr 12, 2006)

metalfiend666 said:


> She obviously has a lot of personal issues right now, but there's no excuse to treat the rest of the band the way she has. She should have her own gear, pay her share of the PA, cd & petrol costs and she needs to take her turn on the merch stand. She also needs to respect your views and stop bringing her "latest fuck" along to rehearsals without asking. Also when you gig the band should stay together as a unit with only the occasional 2 minute trip to speak to someone. It's about cameradery and getting into the gig spirit.
> 
> From what I've read in this thread, just ditch her. Seriously. Everything Shannon and Drew have said is good, honest advice and I can see you've been listening from your replies, but you've got to face it in real life. As it stands she is holding the band back and causing you lots of aggrevation. I don't think she has the mindset to change right now. Just lesson the hassle for the rest of you and ditch her now. Otherwise you'll just be doing it in 3 or 4 months anyway.


Yeah, I'm pretty much with you on everything. And it's looking more and more like we are going to ditch her eventually. We're just trying to give her a chance to change, and we still haven't even talked to her about some things. But it's tough to bring up the subject when the only words out of her mouth to us are some kind of defensive/negative comment. The drummer and I have enough to deal with right now since we're both quickly approaching graduation so things will probably be dealt with more when that stuff has settled down and we can figure out what to do next lol


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## Drew (Apr 12, 2006)

The longer you wait, the harder it'll be... I mean, if you feel that's the right course, then that's the path you gotta take and it'll be worth the price, but at least keep that in mind. 

At the VERY least, draw a line in the sand about fuck-buddies at practice. That will at least ensure you have her attention while practicing.


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## 7 Dying Trees (Apr 12, 2006)

Shannon said:


> This sounds like the same situation I had with Deadly Kristin, formally of the Italian black metal band, Ancient (Metal Blade Records). She started singing for my previous band, Byaxis. In the underground metal world, she has a huge following & so we were pretty excited to have her aboard. She sounded great at rehearsal, but it was a whole different story when we got her into the studio. Good god, what an abortion. The music sounded great, but she sounded like a cougar getting strangled! Horrible, just horrible.
> 
> I had to have a band meeting and politely excused her from the band. She cried & I felt pretty bad, but it hd to be done. We are still friends to this day, but there was just NO WAY I could let those vocals destroy the music I worked so hard on.
> 
> ...


Small world this is!


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## eleven59 (Apr 13, 2006)

Drew said:


> The longer you wait, the harder it'll be... I mean, if you feel that's the right course, then that's the path you gotta take and it'll be worth the price, but at least keep that in mind.


Yeah, but we hinted at some things and she seemed to see something was wrong and seems to be cooperating a bit better.

On the other hand, every time we did bring something up even in the most subtle terms, she'd get really defensive, and the only times she opened her mouth was to take some sort of jab at one of us. (I.e. our bassist telling her it's good to have her full attention for once, and her saying "Well, be more entertaining then") I know her pretty well and recognize this as her defense mechanisms kicking in. Instead of facing her problems, she pushes everyone else away. So I figure we've only got 2-3 practices left before it ends up in either us walking away, or her walking away, because we're getting nothing done while this negative attitude is hanging over our heads. 



> At the VERY least, draw a line in the sand about fuck-buddies at practice. That will at least ensure you have her attention while practicing.


This one didn't really come up at the last practice because he wasn't there for once, but if he starts showing up we're going to flat out tell him to leave, and if our singer protests, we'll pack up our gear and leave (I've been bringing the van to practice lately instead of the car in case something like this happens).




...oh, and sorry for hijacking this thread


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## WayneCustom7 (Apr 13, 2006)

Fuck I'm glad I can post a thread that you guys can use! FYI, hijacking is when you take over a small part of the thread, what you've done is tantamount to a coup!


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## Donnie (Apr 13, 2006)




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## eleven59 (Apr 13, 2006)

WayneCustom7 said:


> Fuck I'm glad I can post a thread that you guys can use! FYI, hijacking is when you take over a small part of the thread, what you've done is tantamount to a coup!


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## The Dark Wolf (Apr 13, 2006)

@ Paolo! That was a really good one, dude. Rep points. +


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## Shannon (Apr 13, 2006)

WayneCustom7 said:


> Fuck I'm glad I can post a thread that you guys can use! FYI, hijacking is when you take over a small part of the thread, what you've done is tantamount to a coup!


Welcome to SS.org! Did you expect anything less?


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## Drew (Apr 13, 2006)

Viva La Resistance!!!!!!!


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## WayneCustom7 (Apr 13, 2006)

Finally the attention I deserve


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## metalfiend666 (Apr 14, 2006)

WayneCustom7 said:


> Fuck I'm glad I can post a thread that you guys can use! FYI, hijacking is when you take over a small part of the thread, what you've done is tantamount to a coup!


 
Come on Paolo, you've been here long enough to know we tend to go off on major tangents!

I hope everything is still OK with your band btw.


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## WayneCustom7 (Apr 14, 2006)

metalfiend666 said:


> Come on Paolo, you've been here long enough to know we tend to go off on major tangents!
> 
> I hope everything is still OK with your band btw.


Oh yeah, thus far it's great...I just wish we could get together on a more consistent basis, but I guess at our age, with family and work, it's not that easy...thanks for asking!


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## eleven59 (Apr 14, 2006)

Ug...just got home from helping my singer carry all of our gear out of her basement (where we practice) because it flooded. No damage to anything, just a couple wet guitar straps (on the basses




) and cymbal bag. Still sucks though.


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## WayneCustom7 (Apr 14, 2006)

eleven59 said:


> Ug...just got home from helping my singer carry all of our gear out of her basement (where we practice) because it flooded. No damage to anything, just a couple wet guitar straps (on the basses
> 
> 
> 
> ) and cymbal bag. Still sucks though.



Fuck man when it rains it pours...no pun intended!


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## eleven59 (Apr 15, 2006)

WayneCustom7 said:


> Fuck man when it rains it pours...no pun intended!


No shit lol


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