# Youtube Guitar instructional FAIL thread....



## shaneroo (Oct 18, 2010)

searched, couldn't find it....
so, go for it i guess...... in the memory of the best of the best.... Larry Conklin, here we go....


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## Black_tear (Oct 18, 2010)

Oh my gooooodd.
He has all the Yngwie moves though, i mean, the hair "whiplash" and the "curtain opener"

and there's more on youtube

(error with the reply button )


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## Black_tear (Oct 18, 2010)

(error with the reply button )


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## Psychobuddy (Oct 18, 2010)

It looks like I'm watching the unholy love child of Paul Gilbert and Ritchie Kotzen...after he heard the first Malmsteen record.

I keep watching him throw the guitar...over and over and over and over.

Priceless, thanks for posting.


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## GiantBaba (Oct 18, 2010)

"What if I played my guitar inside a tin can at the bottom of the ocean? _That's_ what I want to sound like."

also, nice articulation lol


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## Splinterhead (Oct 18, 2010)

Looks like he's got zee whole "G major, E minor" thing down.


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## stuz719 (Oct 20, 2010)

Distinctly lacking in sufficient wah-wah bar activity.

Therefore deemed false.


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## emperor_black (Oct 21, 2010)

Because of such users Line 6 is still not bankrupt.


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## Stealthdjentstic (Oct 21, 2010)

What..the fuck?


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## signalgrey (Oct 21, 2010)

first. he is totally CVLT.
second. im pretty sure hes wasted
third. hes totally using one of those ZOOM multieffects
Fourth. im pretty sure he masterbates in the mirror using his tears to lubricate


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## Evil7 (Oct 21, 2010)

3:56 LMAO!


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## SirMyghin (Oct 21, 2010)

I think you just destroyed my will to continue to play guitar by driving me to the pits of despair with bad playing.


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## ivancic1al (Oct 21, 2010)




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## nojyeloot (Oct 21, 2010)

Evil7 said:


> 3:56 LMAO!



aaaaaaaaahahahahahahahaas;lghsl;


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## Gamba (Oct 21, 2010)

Is his guitar connected to an atari game system or something?


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## OrsusMetal (Oct 21, 2010)

Mad skills. Shane, admit it. You've been outdone.


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## Customisbetter (Oct 21, 2010)

I saw this on FB earlier and i is indeed hilarious.

I personally like the hair movement. It almost seems that he focuses on that more than playing.


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## All_¥our_Bass (Oct 21, 2010)




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## ElRay (Oct 21, 2010)

Psychobuddy said:


> It looks like I'm watching the unholy love child of Paul Gilbert and Ritchie Kotzen...after he heard the first Malmsteen record.


I was thinking Kirk Hammet and Dave Mustaine, before Kirk started taking grooming advice from Carlos Santana.

Ray


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## bostjan (Oct 21, 2010)

Here's the transcript:



> Noodley noodley woodully woo-noodly noo!
> 
> ...
> 
> ...


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## drgordonfreeman (Oct 22, 2010)

Oh... my.... god...

There are two options here:

1.) Everyone here and on YouTube just got trolled hard.

2.) ...

I have to assume number 1 is the only option. He really can't be serious about this... right, guys? Guys?

I... just... can't... stop... laughing. Oh man, at the end of the video, that trem-bar action and his subsequent tapping is just too badass. Up until that point, I had only peed myself laughing so hard. After that, well... I need new pants.


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## StratoJazz (Nov 3, 2010)

What bothers me, is he is a whole step off pitch from the triads that he is describing. Yuck, i hate it when they do that in instructional videos.

It's too bad he has weak tone......


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## MaKo´s Tethan (Nov 3, 2010)

I just watch 30 seconds, and he looks exactly like my on (too much) pot. I play chaos, and have that dumb face. But I don`t make videos...

EDIT 2000 POST!!!! AND THE 2000TH IS ABOUT WEED! YAY!


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## Scruffy1012 (Nov 12, 2010)

Kill me.


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## Koshchei (Nov 20, 2010)

I found that painful.

Stare straight down the barrel. Inhale deeply. Do hair thing. Say something that sounds musical - a scale name or technique (bonus marks if it's real). Fuck up some simple exercise that has nothing to do with what you just said (bonus marks if you play something different fast). Repeat for 10 agonizing minutes.

Cleanse palate with a little public access.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXkBzTLOyjc&feature=related


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## Kurkkuviipale (Nov 20, 2010)

bostjan said:


> Here's the transcript:



You forgot:

"Iz ze heavy metal..."


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## munulukuf (Nov 23, 2010)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pyoqkDt3yE8

This....is..so...wrong.


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## 7string_dreamin (Nov 23, 2010)

that was very painful to watch. wow


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## Cygnus (Nov 23, 2010)

That, was horrible. 

This is part of a video series some friends and I did a long time ago:


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## timbaline (Nov 23, 2010)




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## avenger (Nov 24, 2010)

That vid was horrible! Also I cant imagine wearing a guitar with the strap dangling around my neck like that. Playing for more then 3 minutes like that would be painful.


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## jymellis (Nov 24, 2010)

that first guy was either drunk or trippinfuckinutz! look at his eyes when he actually looks at the camera, he is FOOKIN gorded! oh yeah, and whats up with stealths avatar? i shot snot rockets LOLOLOL


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## Cygnus (Nov 27, 2010)

Lol, "I couldn't find that part."


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## Sofos (Dec 6, 2010)

true story. this was so bad, while i was listening/watching it, my speakers actually stopped working. seriously. no lie at all swear to god. its epic.


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## Joeywilson (Dec 8, 2010)

Awe yeee.


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## Razzy (Dec 8, 2010)

Cygnus said:


> That, was horrible.
> 
> This is part of a video series some friends and I did a long time ago:




I think I used to jam with a guy that watched this video and took it seriously.


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## bostjan (Dec 8, 2010)

@ Cygnus: That brightened my day. He should have set his EQ to Bass 10, Mid 0, Treble 10, Gain 10, though.

@ timbaline: Someone needs to do an instructional video- "In today's lesson, I was going to teach basic guitar posture, picking technique, and 'Mary Had a Little Lamb,' but unfortunately, I forgot where I left my guitar. I mean, I looked all over my friend's apartment, but I just couldn't find it. Tune in next week, when I'll show you how to play 'Inna Godda Da Vida.'"

@ Joeywilson: Dude. That video was AWESOME! I love the bass player's technique on playing the E AND the F. The change after the three minute mark was epic...totally didn't see it coming. I was expecting E and F but then BAM! ~a different note! I was blown away!


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## Skanky (Dec 9, 2010)

munulukuf said:


> This....is..so...wrong.






OMFG - *over 9 minutes*??? Wow is right.


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## Skanky (Dec 9, 2010)

Why do these kids feel the need to post "instructional videos" when they're obviously just beginning to learn guitar?

It's for this reason that I find these vids hysterical. Cause yeah, we were all there at one point in our lives, but at least I knew better than to claim I knew what I was doing!


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## SjPedro (Dec 9, 2010)

well i know I suck at guitar but now I know that I don't suck as hard as I thought I did...i am a bit better....just a bit though


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## zurdo (Dec 10, 2010)

Evil7 said:


> 3:56 LMAO!


hahahahahahahaha
priceless


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## Matt-Hatchett (Dec 10, 2010)

I think everyone on this forum can benefit from this video. Maybe Tosin and Bulb Should look into collaborating with this virtuoso.


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## GuitaristOfHell (Dec 10, 2010)

Skanky said:


> Why do these kids feel the need to post "instructional videos" when they're obviously just beginning to learn guitar?
> 
> It's for this reason that I find these vids hysterical. Cause yeah, we were all there at one point in our lives, but at least I knew better than to claim I knew what I was doing!



He's not even right and it sounds awful. The kid is


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## Alberto7 (Dec 10, 2010)

I think this guy either has no internet at home, or he's got YouTube blocked. He's probably never seen/heard a guitarist other than himself... This guy is fucking retarded.


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## BangandBreach (Dec 12, 2010)

Skanky said:


> Why do these kids feel the need to post "instructional videos" when they're obviously just beginning to learn guitar?
> 
> It's for this reason that I find these vids hysterical. Cause yeah, we were all there at one point in our lives, but at least I knew better than to claim I knew what I was doing!





When he turned his volume up I about died.


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## timbaline (Dec 18, 2010)




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## highlordmugfug (Dec 18, 2010)

D:<

He never teaches you how to actually play anything, I don't think he tunes the guitar ever, he doesn't know how to wear the strap right, that loud buzzing is in every video apparently.

D:<
YouTube - how to make a pac-man effect on the guitar
YouTube - how to play this is halloween


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## Skanky (Dec 18, 2010)

Well, it appears he did invest in a tuner and a distortion pedal and some lessons (maybe), but he's still got a LONG way to go.


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## Siphaeon (Dec 19, 2010)

Andromalius has to be my favorite search word from now on! 

I just can't stop laughing. They even ruin the almost-hot-girl-pretending-to-fuck-a-mike-stand-thing 

Still hilarious...


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## avenger (Dec 20, 2010)

hahaha that vid was hilarious! I think every local scene has that "grim" band. I admit I wa hammered once and bought some "kvlt" recordings from said local band.



EDIT: Was that Iron Man played by a pack of tiny gnomes with chainsaws?


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## aslsmm (Dec 20, 2010)

i actually like synister gates but that was a bad example of sweep picking. i have to admit though, thats about how well i sweep. i never have liked the sound of sweeps that much


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## Skanky (Dec 21, 2010)

Siphaeon said:


> Andromalius has to be my favorite search word from now on!
> 
> I just can't stop laughing. They even ruin the almost-hot-girl-pretending-to-fuck-a-mike-stand-thing
> 
> Still hilarious...





Don't hate! The dude is a (self-proclaimed) virtuoso!!!


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## Meatbucket (Dec 21, 2010)

These kids in the videos totally kick my ass, especially at shredding. Damn.


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## MED (Dec 22, 2010)

Skanky said:


> Don't hate! The dude is a (self-proclaimed) virtuoso!!!





Apparently delay and bad effects = virtuoso...Then again


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## timbaline (Dec 23, 2010)

aslsmm said:


> i actually like synister gates but that was a bad example of sweep picking. i have to admit though, thats about how well i sweep. i never have liked the sound of sweeps that much



I actually like some A7X stuff, but Synster is really sloppy...


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## LLink2411 (Dec 24, 2010)

I just watched every video in this thread.

I really wish I didn't now, I think I need rape counseling.


I seriously considered jumping out of a window after seeing them.


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## Lucas_061287 (Jan 2, 2011)

Damn, I don't feel so down on myself anymore if nothing else lol.

I find there are types of guitarists

1- The guys who are badass and know it
2- The guys who are badass and are modest about it
3- The guys who think they are badass, but actually suck, but can't help but show off at great length
4- The guys who realize their skill is limited, and thus don't make youtube vids until they have improved


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## blood8815 (Jan 5, 2011)

How to whammy without a whammy bar


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## Lucas_061287 (Jan 5, 2011)

Holy hell, thats insane! Almost just like a bend vibrato, only way worse.


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## Skanky (Jan 5, 2011)

This made me laugh:


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## Meatbucket (Jan 5, 2011)

!


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## bostjan (Jan 5, 2011)

Take-away from this thread:

1) Tune your guitar! 
2) If you don't know the song, don't try to teach it to someone else. 
3) Practice your technique before you make a high-profile lesson out of it. 
4) Iz ze metal.


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## Meatbucket (Jan 5, 2011)

bostjan said:


> 1) Tune your guitar!


I'd be surprised if amazing guitarists of this caliber even know what tuning is. They could just get their techs to do it, seeing as they are extremely talented and famous enough to give lessons and have a load of views on youtube.


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## Lucas_061287 (Jan 5, 2011)

Skanky said:


> This made me laugh:



LOL, yeah, that one pretty much takes the cake for horrid sounds that happen to be coming from a guitar. Not sure it can be classified as an instructional video (of what NOT to do maybe), but either way, I approve!


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## Stealth7 (Jan 5, 2011)

Meatbucket said:


> !




That is terrible!... Makes me feel a hell of a lot better about my playing though!


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## signalgrey (Jan 5, 2011)

Meatbucket said:


> !




thats pretty much what I envision when i see any dean guitar at a shop.


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## Stealthdjentstic (Jan 5, 2011)

^ Likewise


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## Lucas_061287 (Jan 6, 2011)

I'm so glad I don't work at a music store


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## Cygnus (Jan 8, 2011)

Meatbucket said:


> !




Damn, I'm not sure what's worse, his shredding or his haircut.


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## Meatbucket (Jan 8, 2011)

Cygnus said:


> Damn, I'm not sure what's worse, his shredding or his haircut.


I'd have to say the fact that he's wearing not only one, but -two- wristbands.


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## kamello (Jan 15, 2011)

Skanky said:


> Why do these kids feel the need to post "instructional videos" when they're obviously just beginning to learn guitar?
> 
> It's for this reason that I find these vids hysterical. Cause yeah, we were all there at one point in our lives, but at least I knew better than to claim I knew what I was doing!


 
no, not really, maybe just in my first day with my acoustic, but this kid has been playing for over a year


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## MJS (Jan 15, 2011)

I feel bad for anyone that thought, "I want to get better on guitar today, so I think I'll go click on a thread started by the great Shane Gibson and see what I can learn." 

I'm either going to have to practice around the clock for a week to undo the damage that video did... or figure out a way to un-watch videos.


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## Kurkkuviipale (Jan 15, 2011)




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## Kurkkuviipale (Jan 15, 2011)

TH3B4SSM4ST3R has a lot of more videos as well. Like the "How to play technical death metal" -series.


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## Alberto7 (Jan 16, 2011)

^ God, I actually feel bad for him... He must have a lot of issues. It's like he tries TOO hard, and wants to get the internet people to think he's knowledgeable in music, since he can't get real-life people to take him seriously.

I say this genuinely, with a slight touch of sarcasm.


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## Kurkkuviipale (Jan 16, 2011)

Yea, I liked that part where he said some tech-death song having a time signature of 28/17, which is in no way true. He also said that the song goes faster due to the (high?) time sig.


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## Alberto7 (Jan 16, 2011)

Kurkkuviipale said:


> Yea, I liked that part where he said some tech-death song having a time signature of 28/17, which is in no way true. He also said that the song goes faster due to the (high?) time sig.



While 8/8 is technically the same as 4/4, it does have a faster-paced feeling (therefore giving the feel of a faster tempo), if I'm not wrong, as you're supposed to accentuate 8th notes rather than quarter notes, if I'm not mistaken. 

Then again, I HIGHLY doubt this kid even knows what that means ... And yes, the 28/17 did bring on teh lulz . Even if he meant 28/16, that'd be rather unusual to count it in 16ths, rather than doing a more "normal" 19/8, or a 5/4 bar followed by a 9/8 bar... I shall shut up now and let the thread follow its course .


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## Kurkkuviipale (Jan 16, 2011)

Yeap, there's no way a song would go in 28/17... A tempo change would be about 100x easier and bring the exact same benefits and result in the notation progress.


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## ROAR (Jan 16, 2011)

hahaha he said Meshuggah was awful. What a winner.


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## JunkMan13013 (Jan 17, 2011)

He tryed playing bleed....

It made me cry, also 28/17 He's pulling the petrucci timewarp again....


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## signalgrey (Jan 17, 2011)

Kurkkuviipale said:


> TH3B4SSM4ST3R has a lot of more videos as well. Like the "How to play technical death metal" -series.




this is fucking painful.
Why does this kid have a Marcus Miller bass? I genuinely feel bad for this kids. I knew people like him all throughout high school and college.


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## JunkMan13013 (Jan 17, 2011)

This guy needs to go away....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tmh6xbK8JgM

If someone could post this so the vid is viewable greatly appreciated


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## Alberto7 (Jan 17, 2011)

There ya' go 

EDIT: Why the fuck does he have to yell instead of speaking like a normal person would?! And yeah, that's right, every fucking body that's endorsed by Ibanez plays a 7-string. Also, I love how he goes "gives a low... BALLSY, chunky..."


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## JunkMan13013 (Jan 17, 2011)

The guy just spews shit, watch his other video's.

Expert village my fucking ass.


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## Ronbert (Jan 17, 2011)

Kurkkuviipale said:


> TH3B4SSM4ST3R has a lot of more videos as well. Like the "How to play technical death metal" -series.




Someone called him out for not knowing/understanding timings... and his response was simple and well worded.

"@braindrillstudios ik...this video is old...i wasnt smart then...please dont listen to me in this video...and i read somewhere that a song waz in 28/17...but&#65279; now i know better...im gonna deleate these soon

TH3B4SSM4ST3R 1 day ago"

>.>; I lawlzed


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## Kurkkuviipale (Jan 17, 2011)

Ronbert said:


> Someone called him out for not knowing his timings... and his response was simple and well worded.
> 
> "@braindrillstudios ik...this video is old...i wasnt smart then...please dont listen to me in this video...and i read somewhere that a song waz in 28/17...but&#65279; now i know better...im gonna deleate these soon
> 
> ...



Haha, that would be me!  (Ignore the account name... It's an inside joke )


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## Ronbert (Jan 17, 2011)

I couldn't help but get a good laugh out of his response XD


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## Kurkkuviipale (Jan 17, 2011)

Well yea, actually if you look at his newer videos, you can totally see improvement. But gosh, no-one puts a video of oneself playing if you fail that hard. That's just plain stupid: You won't get any criticism + you sure wont get, but a bad reputation.


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## Moolaka (Jan 25, 2011)

This thread has reminded me that I truely would never want to re-live my life, all that suck...so much suck...more suck ahead.

This thread has really pointed out something else that I've been concentrating on for the last few years, becoming comfortable and articulate with all of my facilities on the guitar. Yea Gates can sweep pick but it's border-line dogshit because he's just arpeggiating chords, not sweep picking. There are no shortcuts.


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## Excalibur (Jan 25, 2011)

How the fuck did he get so good at bass, it's like Jaco's been reborn.


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## shogunate (Jan 27, 2011)

That virtuoso guy  That's why I really don't like delays unless it's integral to a riff in a song or used to harmonize with oneself but even then no more than one delayed note. Ugh..... And to be honest, that's not a whole lot different than what I think Malmsteen sounds like.

Nathan had me laughing my fucking ass off  "So, here's how to play___. Well, I couldn't figure out that part, but it goes doo doo dee dah. Yeah."


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## shogunate (Jan 27, 2011)

That virtuoso guy  That's why I really don't like delays unless it's integral to a riff in a song or used to harmonize with oneself but even then no more than one delayed note. Ugh..... And to be honest, that's not a whole lot different than what I think Malmsteen sounds like.

Nathan had me laughing my fucking ass off  "So, here's how to play___. Well, I couldn't figure out that part, but it goes doo doo dee dah. Yeah."


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## Ryan-ZenGtr- (Jan 30, 2011)

My first instinct is to say:

Let's sign these guys up for the organ donor programme, there are more deserving people out there....

However, my overriding instinct is : WE MUST HELP THEM!!!

Take away the instruments and cameras!!!

No I got it wrong again. if any one can figure out what to do with these people, put it up here for the sake of all that is toneful...

Following them round with a big jar of ear plugs might work, for the innocence of bystanders who may accidentally hear these people.

At one point I thought about going to shows and handing out business cards with "Music Teacher" to the noobs, but decided they might be more than offended ...

Here is something better, depending on your point of view:


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## Cabinet (Jan 31, 2011)

shaneroo said:


> searched, couldn't find it....
> so, go for it i guess...... in the memory of the best of the best.... Larry Conklin, here we go....



Is it just me or does he sound cleaner when he's not playing? The delay sounds better than he does.


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## kung_fu (Jan 31, 2011)

Kurkkuviipale said:


> TH3B4SSM4ST3R has a lot of more videos as well. Like the "How to play technical death metal" -series.




@ 4:28 .......did he say mellotron


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## Haunted (Jan 31, 2011)

I need to watch stuff like this more!! Instead of getting depressed by tosin and mishas videos haha


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## Encephalon5 (Feb 1, 2011)

^+1  I feel so much better about my playing after watching these. The tech death bass guys was hilarious. Even moreso because I'm a bassist. I've had bassists from local metal bands consider lessons from me. It's awesome. And weird. I'm not THAT good but, you've loads of "hardcore" bands around here. It's annoying.


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## ItWillDo (Feb 3, 2011)

shaneroo said:


> searched, couldn't find it....
> so, go for it i guess...... in the memory of the best of the best.... Larry Conklin, here we go....



Why the hell do his nostrils penetrate the deepest corner of my soul?


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## SenorDingDong (Feb 7, 2011)

i would never throw my guitar, i love her


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## Born4metal85 (Jul 24, 2011)

timbaline said:


>




Usually playing the guitar is all about harmonizing your left and right hands. This guys broke the rule for sure XD Even when he's saying "slowly" his left hand is ages b4 his picking hand XD XD XD


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## thedarkoceans (Jul 24, 2011)

someone should kill Vlad Andromalius just because of his name.i think that virtuoso shit is just for exibitionism.hate on those people.


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## Blasphemer (Jul 26, 2011)

Did anyone else notice on this Nate kids channel, half this videos are guitar hero scores?


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## yingmin (Jul 26, 2011)

This is exactly why I hate social media so much. The easier it becomes for everyone to share their thoughts, opinions, hobbies, etc. with the entire world, the more glaringly obvious it becomes that so few people actually have anything worthwhile to share. Thus you have phenomena like fatty there: he barely knows how to play at all; he has horrendous equipment; he doesn't know how to explain things very well; he doesn't know the right way to play any of these riffs (Paranoid was basically right, although you wouldn't know it from listening, but Iron Man and Enter Sandman were so laughably wrong that I almost want to hear a competent musician write new songs around those riffs); he keeps saying that he "can't find" how to play parts of songs that could easily be found the second you type the title into Google, meaning that he either made no attempt to look, or was too embarrassed to admit that he just wasn't good enough to even fail at playing them; maybe worst of all, all the things he's trying to teach you are songs that are 20+ years old, and any guitarist who's been playing for more than a couple weeks probably already knows how to play. There are hundreds of resources for learning how to play guitar, whether basic technique or those specific songs, taught by people much better than you both at playing and teaching, and who know how to play the riffs correctly. WHAT COULD POSSIBLY MAKE YOU THINK THAT YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO TEACH SOMEONE? WHAT VALUE COULD YOU BRING TO THE DISCUSSION?

The answer is simple and obvious: Facebook, Youtube and the like are just symptoms of a pandemic narcissism.


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