# i do too much in life to get good :(



## RG503 (May 22, 2022)

i like my video games. i like my beers. i like my movies. i work. i also do some things for what we will call "personal growth". i also play guitar. im 42. when i was 13, guitar was my life. id watch cartoons and try to play with the music and stuff.... i learned real quick. then i lost interest, and when i picked it up again, i was caught in ruts of jamming the same riffs and blues scale licks.

the good ones are these guys who do NOTHING but play guitar. true, a real virtuoso comes along every now and then who picks it up like water.... an EVH or a dimebag, if you will.

i just cant commit much time to guitar, and im not getting better. adulting sucks. this makes me sad.


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## ThomasUV777 (May 23, 2022)

Allow me to virtually take a chair and sit backwards on it like a cliché-90s-teacher. 

Approximately 9 years ago, I was working as an ICT support technician at the age of 25 years. I have no higher education (started working when I was 19) but had a decent salary. I'm by no means dumb, even tho I often thought I was. My grades were abysmal in school, except for the IT and English classes. Teachers didn't know what to do with me and I assumed that I was dumb because of my grades. I have tried university approximately 6 times. I never finished any, but I was capable of getting close to 100% of the points in some cases. I learned that I am very capable of obsessing over topics / courses if given all the material properly in advance. What I can't do is learn bits'n'pieces of a subject every semester, of which some I don't care about, and then move on to the next thing.

Anyway, going back to when I was 25 years old, I was standing in the server room patching some outlets. I'm a pretty optimistic pessimist but I was suddenly hurdled in a depressed state after thinking _"Is this what I'll be doing at the age of 60?!"_. Existential crisis! I said to myself: Get out of IT, it doesn't make you happy at all. So I started brainstorming for a week or so about what I wanted to do with the remainder of my life. Making music often popped up as an idea, but it didn't seem viable at all. People are really passionate about letting you know that music isn't a lucrative career choice. I was thinking: fuck it, I'm going for it anyway. I delved into everything related to videogame audio (as that was the area I wanted to work in) and am now working fulltime as a sound designer & composer for a videogame company. The end goal is to just do music, so I'm half way there ;-).

I'm blessed by the fact that I have no real interests outside of this, except for working out and lego. I've pretty much forsaken playing videogames. Can't commit to them anymore. I just try to get better at my craft. A friend of mine has a ton of hobbies, wants to leave IT as well, but can't commit to one thing when it comes to making it lucrative.

Ow and one more thing: don't feel bad about not knowing what you want to do for the rest of your life when you're 18. It's a rare thing. I've met people who regret the 3-4 years they spend in college, doing nothing of use with their diploma. It's never too late to change, no matter what age. You just need a strong focus.


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## Bluescreenofdeath (May 23, 2022)

I'm 43 and work fulltime, mortgage etc.. For me it was games/movies in my free time or practice guitar. I cut out the games except for some odd casual arcade type stuff occationally. I've managed to spend at least 20mins-1hr a day for my whole guitar playing life since I was 14. But I really have improved massively in the last 3-4 years since I cut out some of my other hobbies. I also used to try to cover too many styles and made little progress at any of them. For the last few years I've really just focused on instrumental metal techniques and writing. I'm a big Tony Macalpine/planet X fan and I try to keep my practice in a more limited area.


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## Dr. Caligari (May 23, 2022)

How badly do you want to play guitar? Enough to do it over video games, beer, movies etc.?

If yes then do it. If no then don't.

I quit video games and all of a sudden I had time. Funny how that works.


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## Jonathan20022 (May 23, 2022)

Dr. Caligari said:


> How badly do you want to play guitar? Enough to do it over video games, beer, movies etc.?
> 
> If yes then do it. If no then don't.
> 
> I quit video games and all of a sudden I had time. Funny how that works.



This, or balance it all like I do.

At one point guitar was my dominant hobby, now cooking is but it doesn't mean I don't at least play a few hours a week of guitar. But then I remember my camera gear has been neglected and I haven't been out for a shoot in awhile.

What is your goal? Do you want to outshred the best, or just play/write some songs that make you happy and enjoy yourself? If it's the latter, then just play when you feel like it and if you haven't in awhile cut out some time to appreciate your instruments. No one's going to do it for you, and it's totally normal to go extended periods of time not playing a single lick. Life happens man.


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## narad (May 23, 2022)

You can definitely practice scales while watching a movie and drinking a beer.


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## Dayn (May 23, 2022)

Yeah. It's a matter of needing to actively make time for hobbies.

I can make the time, but things in life have left me with little creativity, so I just go through the motions. Occasionally I get a burst of motivation and there goes half the day, but that's rare unfortunately.


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## LostTheTone (May 23, 2022)

It is very normal that as you age you have different priorities and interests.

It is also important to note that being a good guitarist isn't a mechanistic process. It is also a creative process.

A huge part of being a good guitarist is writing good riffs, and that doesn't come from practise. How many crazy good guitarists on the intertubes can't write a good song to save their lives?

If you want my advice - Learn a bit about drums and bass, make yourself some unique backing tracks and actually jam a new song. Just pick a key and a time signature and jam to it. It'll help you flex your music theory, without just sitting down and playing scales. And it's something you can do any time. Whenever you have a minute or two you can think "Man, that riff isn't great let me have another go".

That's something that is fun, and interesting, and that doesn't ask for thousands of hours of work.


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## Emperoff (May 23, 2022)

As a massive videogame fan, it's shocking how much time they take away from you. It's just insane. The periods in which I'm not playing any game feel like days are twice as long.

If you play on Steam, check out the "You've played X hours the last 2 weeks" section and you'll see how much time you're really sinking into games. Stay away from videogames from time to timet (or reduce your playtime), and soon you'll find yourself with more time to do other stuff.

Now, onto musical ruts. I really encourage you to try one of the JTC courses. I don't know at which skill level you are, but their Box Packs are great, no matter the subject. I remember getting the Major Scale Soloing a long time ago and was super impressed on how cool sounding the licks were, even the beginner ones. Not your typical blues-pentatonic licks at all.


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## High Plains Drifter (May 23, 2022)

Not sure if OP's intent is to get advice or simply to vent but I've found that what suits me is taking about an hour or so a day for as many days consecutively as possible. Certain songs/ solos I can manage well while others are still out of reach but at least for myself, playing/ practicing for just a short time each day has helped me to build up some consistency as well as to avoid burning out altogether. It's not ideal but with other responsibilities and time constraints, this is how I'm beat able to continue maintaining my musical interests.


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## AwakenTheSkies (May 23, 2022)

ThomasUV777 said:


> Anyway, going back to when I was 25 years old, I was standing in the server room patching some outlets. I'm a pretty optimistic pessimist but I was suddenly hurdled in a depressed state after thinking _"Is this what I'll be doing at the age of 60?!"_. Existential crisis! I said to myself: Get out of IT, it doesn't make you happy at all. So I started brainstorming for a week or so about what I wanted to do with the remainder of my life. Making music often popped up as an idea, but it didn't seem viable at all. People are really passionate about letting you know that music isn't a lucrative career choice. I was thinking: fuck it, I'm going for it anyway. I delved into everything related to videogame audio (as that was the area I wanted to work in) and am now working fulltime as a sound designer & composer for a videogame company. The end goal is to just do music, so I'm half way there ;-).


Dream job right there.  How do you even apply for a job like that if you don't know anyone? Email your resume and a sample of your work to videogame companies? If all the work experience you've had is stuff like hospitality, reception, construction, is it even worth mentioning if you're applying for something like this?


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## AndiKravljaca (May 23, 2022)

I mean, it's like that for me as well, now that I'm in my forties. I have work, my family, other hobbies like video games and flying. When I was 19, I could practice six hours a day and fall asleep with my guitar making a hole in my ribcage, wake up and go right back to practicing, but these days I'm actually scheduling in practice time between other commitments. Getting an hour to sit by myself and figure out how to play a new song is something I have to schedule a month in advance.

But the thing is, that hump is a problem for the first month. Then, your scheduling catches up and you're back on track. I'm constantly finding and making time, prioritizing and making sure that this actually can exist on some sort of self-sustaining level. I may not be able to spend an entire night practicing, but I can tell you here and now looking at my calendar that I've averaged 1,16 hours of playing per day in the last 28 days - and that's with work, family, other commitments and so on. 

With some self-discipline, focus while working and an ability to schedule and commit to scheduled time, you can do it.


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## JSanta (May 23, 2022)

I think it is also a matter of accepting what's actually important to you. If you want to be a better guitarist/musician, it takes dedication and time. If you're not willing to cut out other extracurriculars, then what you're really saying is you don't want to get better. And there's nothing wrong with that. I think we get nervous calling ourselves out like that, but not everyone is going to be John Petrucci, and being able to play a few of your favorite tunes or mess around over a backing track is probably more than enough for a lot of players. 

A couple of years ago, I was in a similar place. I work a full-time job and I adjunct at a local university. But I really wanted to get better at guitar. So I emailed my favorite guitarist and he accepted me as a student, just about two years ago. I was still too unfocused the first year or so, but now I've got my head into a good routine and I am making more progress than I have the other 20 years I messed around on guitar. But everyday it's a conscious effort. I'm up early before work to get an hour or two in, and then after work at least another hour of dedicated practice. In about 3 years when I turn 40, I am going to be competent enough to hang with anyone in my Django jazz world. But it's work, and it means that I don't even have an electric guitar anymore. I had to narrow myself a lot to get myself going down a musical path I wanted.


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## Avedas (May 23, 2022)

I don't play as much as I used to, but multitasking has helped a lot. If I'm sitting in a meeting where I don't need to speak or turn on my camera, there's a 99% chance I'm shredding.

Still, that's not ideal and I know what it's like to have a lot of interests and time commitments going at the same time. I play video games, hit the gym, play with my dogs, go surfing/biking/whatever active things, and then social stuff on top of that. I work in tech as well and I enjoy my job quite a bit, so I spend lots of time studying and working on side things at the same time.

My main complaint about life is that there are only 24 hours in a day.


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## sleewell (May 23, 2022)

only so many hours in the day. sucks but you gotta prioritize or just enjoy the choices you make. im not good by any means but i go down and play when i get the kids to bed after a long day of working.


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## budda (May 23, 2022)

do what makes you happy in the moments you have available to do them. 

I dont play every day. I have a lot of money tied up in gear. When I do play, I enjoy it. I will stare at my phone over playing if i know picking up the guitar wont be fun.


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## gunshow86de (May 23, 2022)

"I do too much in life" 
/doesn't even practice 540 wheel kicks


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## TheBloodstained (May 23, 2022)

"Good" is a relative term. "Good" doesn't necessarily translate to super technically fluent playing. Perfection is a shitty pipedream! You don't have to be the best to write a great song.

Maybe you just need to adjust your expectations about your relationship with the guitar?
I realized long ago that I would never be the shredder that I wanted to be. It was a hard truth to face, but it made me go to the guitar with a different mindset, which have helped me with reconnecting with the instrument.
I have fun writing songs/demos for my band. Just wrote and recorded a complete piece yesterday, and found myself so immersed in the process that I forgot everything else around me and just went with the creative flow.

I'm much more happy with my playing these days, than when I dreamt of being the next *insert your shredder of choice here*.

Remember!
It's okay to fail. It's okay to not be inspired all the time. It's okay to not practice every day.
Just have fun with it.


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## Crungy (May 23, 2022)

Another 40 year old here, also lover of video games. I've been gaming a bit less and playing and acquiring gear and I'm happy about that lol

My two pennies I'll throw in is finding inspiration in learning something new. The other day I was noodling on a guitar and played something that kind of sounded like Black Sabbath's Paranoid. I mostly got the jist of the song but thought "I've never actually sat down and learned it" so I proceeded to do that as well as record it as I went. That led me to learning the solo which I've never sat down to learn a guitar solo. Ever. (I've got it a good 75% of the way I'd say!) 

I've played bass for over 20 years and some rhythm guitar but got more into guitar and writing the last few and it's been a blast. As much as I like video games I'm always pushing myself to spend more time playing guitar, because you know that means:

Play more, buy more guitars!


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## jaxadam (May 23, 2022)

Another 40 something year old here, also lover of video games. I've been playing a lot of QuickBooks Pro 2017 for the past 5 years or so, and before that, it was QuickBooks Pro 2012. Looking forward to the upcoming DLC QuickBooks Desktop Pro 2022 but what sucks is they are now making it a yearly subscription service that is now more annually than the normal standalone price used to be.


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## ThomasUV777 (May 23, 2022)

AwakenTheSkies said:


> Dream job right there.  How do you even apply for a job like that if you don't know anyone? Email your resume and a sample of your work to videogame companies? If all the work experience you've had is stuff like hospitality, reception, construction, is it even worth mentioning if you're applying for something like this?



You answered it. You try to get to know people. Don't expect that people come knocking on your door just because you have a great portfolio online. It might happen, but not likely. Go to conventions, talks etc. Get to know people and for christ sake _*don't go marching in with a business card saying that you're in audio/music*_. Have a great talk, show interest in the other person and drop casually that you work as a composer. Game developers get swamped with mails regarding composing vacancies & whatnot. It goes down the bin pretty quickly. You don't have to mention your past work history. Get some fairly solid music samples out there just in case they ask. 

The saying "It's not what you know, it's who you know" is definitely a golden rule when you're not that known in the industry. But make sure you have a solid
portfolio just in case they check you out and notice you have talent. Ow and that whole imposter syndrome? It never goes away so you might as well get used to it ;-)

Good luck!


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## Emperoff (May 23, 2022)

gunshow86de said:


> "I do too much in life"
> /doesn't even practice 540 wheel kicks



@jaxadam actually does, but he forgot to add it


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## jaxadam (May 23, 2022)

Emperoff said:


> @jaxadam actually does, but he forgot to add it



Who said I practiced that?! That was like the first time I threw that kick in ages and I can't believe I could still walk after that.


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## sirbuh (May 23, 2022)

accelerated learning techniques - less time means your gains will come from increasing efficiency. a well designed routine, while 'boring' will take you over the hump.


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## bostjan (May 23, 2022)

It seems like we are mostly in our 40's now.

10 years ago, I felt like I was winning at life. I had tons of responsibility, was making financial gains, just enough time to aggressively pursue hobbies.

Now it just seems like everything is crap. My car is literally falling apart and I can't get parts to replace anything. My house is falling apart and the materials and hardware to do DIY fixes are too expensive or too difficult to find at the time I need them. All my bills are going up faster than I can pace my income. I'm spending most of my free time dealing with all of these problems to make ends meet. Everyone who used to be my support net when things were better are in the same situation, so nobody's really able to bail anyone out anymore. It just seems like it's a tougher time for everyone. But for whatever reason, even though I had been more careful about the future than the average person, I'm getting more bad luck than most people all piling on me at once, and I've played less guitar in the last month than any month since probably 2010.

I keep thinking maybe things will get better, but, honestly, I'm not worried about it. I'll just keep doing the best I can juggling the problems life throws my way until I can't do it anymore, whenever that is. What else are you going to do?

But yeah, I get the impression that life, in general, is just a little more miserable than it has ever been for our generation. Try to adjust to it. Playing more guitar ought to be a coping mechanism rather than another challenge.


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## michael_bolton (May 23, 2022)

Barring some extremes I think finding an hour or so per day should be doable in just about any situation you just gotta want it bad enough. It won't get you to the "killer shredder" level but is defo enough to be decent. 

Programming is key here - you can spend an hour noodling on some basic riffs with some random licks thrown in or you can e.g. pick a lick/phrase that is just slightly above your ability level at speed, set a metronome to whatever and spend an hour playing that. 
Beer doesn't interfere with this unless you get loaded. TV is a bit more invasive but can be dealt with, I typically get some pretty decent chops level up during the hockey playoff season - watching hockey and practicing scales and licks for hours every day.


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## TheInvisibleHand (May 23, 2022)

Its almost as if to get better at things you have to do them more often. WHAT A TRAGEDY! Im sorry OP (but not really), but your post was.....entitlted might be the right word. 

You choose how to spend your time. Some people choose to practice more often. You can choose to do whatever you like, but don't complain when you don't put in the effort to achieve the things you want to achieve when it comes to hobbies.

Do I personally wish I was better at guitar? Absolutely. Does my life and physical limitations allow me to practice as much as I'd like to? No. But I'm not complaining to strangers on the internet about how its not fair that I can't shred.


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## StevenC (May 23, 2022)

bostjan said:


> It seems like we are mostly in our 40's now.


Nuh uh! @narad is 40 later this year.


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## narad (May 23, 2022)

StevenC said:


> Nuh uh! @narad is 40 later this year.



For the nth time, it's the year after, ya twit.


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## Crungy (May 23, 2022)

@bostjan agreed that things just seem a little more difficult financially at times. I always say, life happens. (Or shit happens, depending on the day) 

@RG503 from all of us 40 year olds, you can do it.


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## Emperoff (May 23, 2022)

TheInvisibleHand said:


> Its almost as if to get better at things you have to do them more often. WHAT A TRAGEDY! Im sorry OP (but not really), but your post was.....entitlted might be the right word.
> 
> You choose how to spend your time. Some people choose to practice more often. You can choose to do whatever you like, but don't complain when you don't put in the effort to achieve the things you want to achieve when it comes to hobbies.
> 
> Do I personally wish I was better at guitar? Absolutely. Does my life and physical limitations allow me to practice as much as I'd like to? No. But I'm not complaining to strangers on the internet about how its not fair that I can't shred.



Let's hope you never get a similar response if you ever seek help.

We might be strangers, but strangers can also help. Sometimes the only thing you need is a word of support from some random stranger, because you may not get it from the people around you.


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## RG503 (May 23, 2022)

well now im being bullied by a moderator it looks like...


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## Demiurge (May 23, 2022)

Life is just a battle of time. Get older and the amount of it you have gets smaller while the number of things that demand that time gets bigger. It's best to just fight-though any disappointment there may be with that reality and make the best of it.


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## RG503 (May 23, 2022)

TheInvisibleHand said:


> Its almost as if to get better at things you have to do them more often. WHAT A TRAGEDY! Im sorry OP (but not really), but your post was.....entitlted might be the right word.
> 
> You choose how to spend your time. Some people choose to practice more often. You can choose to do whatever you like, but don't complain when you don't put in the effort to achieve the things you want to achieve when it comes to hobbies.
> 
> Do I personally wish I was better at guitar? Absolutely. Does my life and physical limitations allow me to practice as much as I'd like to? No. But I'm not complaining to strangers on the internet about how its not fair that I can't shred.


sorry i triggered you, lib.


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## TheInvisibleHand (May 23, 2022)

RG503 said:


> sorry i triggered you, lib.


says the person who just sent me a private message to tell me to "buy a real guitar you cheap, cheap"

Yeah. Im the one who's upset. I stand by what I said, even moreso now. You're an overgrown child upset because someone didn't stroke the back of your head when you decided to bitch about life being too hard.


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## MaxOfMetal (May 23, 2022)

Play shitty. Make ugly music. Have fun.


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## StevenC (May 23, 2022)

RG503 said:


> well now im being bullied by a moderator it looks like...





RG503 said:


> sorry i triggered you, lib.


The duality of man


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## jaxadam (May 23, 2022)

RG503 said:


> sorry i triggered you, lib.


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## mmr007 (May 23, 2022)

Are there some posts missing from this thread or did my reading comprehension just evaporate to zero? Where was the bullying and triggering?


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## jaxadam (May 23, 2022)

mmr007 said:


> Are there some posts missing from this thread or did my reading comprehension just evaporate to zero? Where was the bullying and triggering?



I think that’s what we will call “personal growth”.


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## bostjan (May 23, 2022)

Check the confused box for me as well.


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## mmr007 (May 23, 2022)

I re-read and it looks like some DMs were sent so I guess that factored.


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## Choop (May 23, 2022)

Sort of in a similar situation -- trying to prioritize how best to utilize my time and spread my focus amongst a bunch of hobbies/interests and obligations. It helps me to make a visual list or diagram and try to allocate time/effort that way, maybe order things in a series of most to least important, and how much time you need to allocate or are willing to budge on things that are more flexible. Also if you have too many interests vying for your attention, you will probably need to reconcile with how comfortable you are with your personal investment into them. Some of my personal goals lately have changed to "get *decent* at _____" and I'm totally good with that.


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## makesexnotwar (May 23, 2022)

It's all about the balance and planning. Job, family, kids...the more responsibility we have the less free time is left. Planning your day properly could help you to find some time to play. Planning you practice routine will help you to get better at guitar.


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## AwakenTheSkies (May 23, 2022)

ThomasUV777 said:


> You answered it. You try to get to know people. Don't expect that people come knocking on your door just because you have a great portfolio online. It might happen, but not likely. Go to conventions, talks etc. Get to know people and for christ sake _*don't go marching in with a business card saying that you're in audio/music*_. Have a great talk, show interest in the other person and drop casually that you work as a composer. Game developers get swamped with mails regarding composing vacancies & whatnot. It goes down the bin pretty quickly. You don't have to mention your past work history. Get some fairly solid music samples out there just in case they ask.
> 
> The saying "It's not what you know, it's who you know" is definitely a golden rule when you're not that known in the industry. But make sure you have a solid
> portfolio just in case they check you out and notice you have talent. Ow and that whole imposter syndrome? It never goes away so you might as well get used to it ;-)
> ...


Heeyy thanks for sharing the advice!! Being social is definetly not my strenght but if that's what it takes then I'm going to have to try.  It's great to read stuff like this because by myself I wouldn't even know where to begin.


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## Crungy (May 23, 2022)

mmr007 said:


> Are there some posts missing from this thread or did my reading comprehension just evaporate to zero? Where was the bullying and triggering?


I was feeling the same and see things took a turn I didn't see coming


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## NoodleFace (May 23, 2022)

Define "good". Do you want to be a shredder? Well yeah, outside of a select few people you really need to woodshed for that.

Or is 'good' writing interesting/unique songs? Anyone can do that.


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## Rev2010 (May 23, 2022)

RG503 said:


> adulting sucks. this makes me sad.



I'm 48, work in IT (get paid very well), and I know exactly how you feel. Lately I keep saying, "There just isn't enough time in a weekend! Two days off just isn't enough". I think three would be enough for me. As of late I've been much more focused on learning how to fly using my flight sim programs. I too have thought many times, "Am I really going to stay in IT for the rest of my life??". I've been at it for over 23 years in corporate environments (law firms) and just recently my boss retired after 35 years at our firm and our new manager is driving us all fucking insane. She's a total micro/helicopter manager and of course knows everything better than everyone else and even insists we do things her way and refuses to listen when we try to explain quicker/more efficient ways to do things.

I've still been trying to get my band filled, we need a drummer and a singer, and until we do I'm just not so enthused. If we found a singer I would definitely regain much more interest and drive to keep writing. As for practicing or learning... NO WAY. I simply have no time for it these days. I did in high school but not now. Well that's not true, I _could _spend some time after work but I have no desire to. I play perfectly fine enough to create good songs and I'm not into whankery solo's these days so it's just not really needed. I've kinda decided if I can't get a full band by years end I think I'm just going to stop trying and just go solo and sing over my own shit, but that would be styles other than metal. We'll see. Hang in there though and take shit as you want to. You shouldn't have to force yourself, just do what makes you happiest and balance what you can.


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## Lorcan Ward (May 24, 2022)

I remember reading in a magazine “get your practice in before you’re 18 cause you won’t get that time again” and it was an eye opening moment. A lot of famous shredders said they played so much as a teenager that they didn’t need to when they were older.

Music as an adult is all about prioritising. Work, family and household duties can make it very difficult to find time but when you have that time you make the choice what you do with it. If you’d rather play games then that’s your choice but beating yourself up about it won’t do you any good. Adulting sucks and any alone time is a chance to rest, it’s easy to reach for the console controller and it takes motivation to reach for a guitar.

“Maturing” into an adult where you start losing interest in what you were once passionate about is something nobody ever talks about. A lot of people struggle with trying to motivate them self to pick up a guitar but you have to ask yourself do you still do many of the things you did when you were 15. I constantly see posts on Facebook from my guitar mates about trying to rekindle their interest in guitar and music but forcing it will do no good. You will only feel guilty about not playing when you are trying to relax which is a bad cycle to get into. 

I think what keeps my interest in guitar up is that in 20 years of playing I’ve never willingly taken a break from the instrument. I often work 12 hours days and sometimes straight through the weekend. In a good week I get about 3-4 hours of guitar in so when I have that free time I have to give it 100%.


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## OmegaSlayer (May 24, 2022)

I'm 44 and sick-ish, with cronic muscle inflammation and some mild form of arthritis
I work from 4 AM to 2 PM
I get home and commit to do 2 hours of practice
Is there a chance I can get much better with it?
Yes, but not esponentially due to my health condition, but on a side note it's necessary for my hands to keep doing their job
But most of all, it's my mental temple, it makes me happy

Most of your commitment to practice is about how you approach it


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## jaxadam (May 24, 2022)

Lorcan Ward said:


> I remember reading in a magazine “get your practice in before you’re 18 cause you won’t get that time again” and it was an eye opening moment. A lot of famous shredders said they played so much as a teenager that they didn’t need to when they were older.



This. I started YOUNG and by the time I was in 9th or 10th grade I could rip, and by the time I was about 19 I could rip rip. I practiced about 2 hours a night give or take for like a decade or more.

I barely touch the guitar anymore, but I can still pick it up and melt the frets like a Milky Way on the hood of a t-top firebird at the beach at 2 pm on the 4th of July.


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## AwakenTheSkies (May 24, 2022)

jaxadam said:


> This. I started YOUNG and by the time I was in 9th or 10th grade I could rip, and by the time I was about 19 I could rip rip. I practiced about 2 hours a night give or take for like a decade or more.
> 
> I barely touch the guitar anymore, but I can still pick it up and melt the frets like a Milky Way on the hood of a t-top firebird at the beach at 2 pm on the 4th of July.


I suppose I have a similar experience? I started taking guitar seriously at 17, but rather than playing super often I have these times where I will practice every day for 2 or 3 months with a well made routine, watching instructionals, and of course all the jamming writing songs and recording. Sometimes I go for a while without practicing or playing but it takes me like a week or two of practice and I will be back to my old level. I wish I had more incentive to practice more often, I am scared that eventually I will start to forget stuff.  Usually when I feel like this is when I go into another 3 month practice streak


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## bostjan (May 24, 2022)

Lorcan Ward said:


> I remember reading in a magazine “get your practice in before you’re 18 cause you won’t get that time again” and it was an eye opening moment. A lot of famous shredders said they played so much as a teenager that they didn’t need to when they were older.
> 
> Music as an adult is all about prioritising. Work, family and household duties can make it very difficult to find time but when you have that time you make the choice what you do with it. If you’d rather play games then that’s your choice but beating yourself up about it won’t do you any good. Adulting sucks and any alone time is a chance to rest, it’s easy to reach for the console controller and it takes motivation to reach for a guitar.
> 
> ...


IDK. I think my technical skill peaked when I was about 24-25. I had just finished grad school, I was earning a little more money and working a little bit fewer hours, but, most of all, I was playing guitar a lot. I was teaching guitar lessons, doing guitar tech work (and screwing around playing guitar during my downtime at that job), playing in three different bands (sometimes four). I had already been playing over ten years at that point. Then I moved in with my girlfriend and suddenly I didn't have time to play anymore and the momentum stopped. I still think I'm a better overall player than I was then, even if I can't do 540 wheel kicks with my fingers anymore.  But what I've lost in my playing I've made up for twofold in better musicianship. Whatever I could play totally wrong lightning fast before, I can play less wrong at the proper speed now.


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## High Plains Drifter (May 24, 2022)

Good thing about being a pretty average guitarist at a young age is that you're more likely to get better not worse as you age. Kinda kidding but at least for me, when I was young, I tried to simply regurgitate what I was hearing although without the discipline nor patience to really put in the work. Having so many hobbies and other interests as well as trying to just learn the new songs for the sake of next weeks band practice... all drastically impeded actually improving my skill. 

Now that I'm older, I have more appreciation for technique. Speed isn't as important to me either as I just don't listen to nor try to emulate the more shreddy players that I idolized in my youth, I find that the way that I hear the structure of a song has also gradually changed and now I'm able to identify with a lot more than simply playing the right notes ( or fudging it regarding picking technique and speed as I did in my youth). I play a lot of Gilmour solos these days and because I'm willing/ able to dissect them more accurately, I'm finding that some of the most crucial aspects have very little to do with speed as opposed to the subtleties of individual notes and how important that all is to the overall composition... the way that the notes sustain, fluctuate, etc. 

It used to be the speed, intensity, etc that fascinated and challenged me. Now it's much more about hearing and recognizing all of the dynamics of the song. And that aspect has become far more compelling for me to try to emulate than just simply nailing the notes.


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## Grindspine (May 24, 2022)

Same boat here, 43, work full-time and life gets in the way.

However, if you are sad about it, just go pick up the guitar. I am at a point in life where I have a home studio room. I do not play guitar every day (mostly due to work-related shoulder pain), but I have six guitars and a bass within 10 feet of where I am sitting, and a synthesizer six inches behind my computer keyboard. When I feel inspired to play, I just play.

If you want to do something, just make time for it. That is really the only solution.


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## DarrellM5 (May 24, 2022)

I tend to cycle through my hobbies. I'll get really excited about one of them and then immerse myself to the point of burning out in a few years. Then I get passionate about one of my other hobbies and do the same thing. Currently I'm back to focusing on guitar. This time I'm trying to break the cycle by limiting how much time I devote to it (playing, forums, YouTube, shopping for gear, etc...). I'm hoping that some sort of moderation will keep me from burning out again. The previous cycles in order were guns, watches, motorcycles, guitar, skydiving, weight lifting, motorcycles, guitar, mountain bike racing and others (the cycles continue back for decades).

I went 'all in' on those hobbies maybe even to the point of obsession so I hope moderation breaks the trend.


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## michael_bolton (May 24, 2022)

My "story" is almost the opposite of what most ppl are saying here - started playing in middle school, by the time I was 16 -18 I had decent but not "face melting shred" chops but it was more than enough to be able to hang in the bands I was playing in. 
I was maybe playing 30 min a day on average, way too many distractions between school, lifting, "social life", part time work etc etc. 
Wasn't until my mid 30s when I somewhat settled down when I re-visited my guitar playing activities (after taking a break for a few years not playing at all), got some sort of a plan of attack going forward and kinda sorta stuck to it for a while.
When I look at some of these insane shredder kids on one hand I admire the chops and dedication on the other I'm like dude I hope you get out once in a while


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## Wildebeest (May 24, 2022)

Thinking about how I used to watch Lorcan and Jaxadam's old youtube videos about 15 years ago and having them inspire me to practice as a teenager.


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## Drew (May 24, 2022)

bostjan said:


> It seems like we are mostly in our 40's now.


We've become quite the group of old men. 




RG503 said:


> i like my video games. i like my beers. i like my movies. i work. i also do some things for what we will call "personal growth". i also play guitar. im 42. when i was 13, guitar was my life. id watch cartoons and try to play with the music and stuff.... i learned real quick. then i lost interest, and when i picked it up again, i was caught in ruts of jamming the same riffs and blues scale licks.
> 
> the good ones are these guys who do NOTHING but play guitar. true, a real virtuoso comes along every now and then who picks it up like water.... an EVH or a dimebag, if you will.
> 
> i just cant commit much time to guitar, and im not getting better. adulting sucks. this makes me sad.


Early 40s here too, and while I'm not a gamer, I'm with you on the time consuming job, and I spend a LOT of time training on my bike, as well.

First, pertinent Kurt Vonnegut anecdote:









"Being good at things isn't the point of doing them."


When Kurt Vonnegut was fifteen, he spent a month or so working on an archeological dig. (A rather peculiar place for a young man that would one day grow up to become a tremendous writer of science fiction.) He once told a story of how he was talking to one of the archeologists one day over lun




honeycopy.com





Congrats - you do a lot of fun and interesting things that you enjoy! That's great.

Second... honestly, when I look back at where my playing has improved the most over my life, some of the biggest breakthroughs came when I _didn't_ have much time to play. When I wasn't busy and had all the time in the world, I tended to do what you find yourself doing, just pick up a guitar and play aimlessly. But I remember during an extremely busy time in my life, while I was studying for a massive three part exam where each part was only offered one day a year, I had almost NO time to play. So, I got really diligent about it, and scheduled myself maybe two fifteen minute study breaks a day. I'd pick up a guitar, and start a timer... and since I knew I only had a few minutes, I'd pull up a metronome and do really diligent scale practice or something with my time, and when the timer went off, put my guitar down, and pick the books back up. To my surprise, after I sat for the exam and had free time again, I was really surprised to find I was actually _better_ than I had been before the exam.

I've found similar things in other areas - notably cycling, where consistency (riding daily, if even for fifteen minutes) has led to bigger gains than sheer volume of training. So, maybe try thinking of it that way - if you don't have much time to play, then give yourself fifteen minutes a day, and use that time to practice _something_ to make you a better player.

And if that doesn't sound fun... then, do whatever is the most fun, and focus on just enjoying yourself. In another fifty years we'll probably all be dead, and with time being finite, then do what you can to enjoy the time you have.

My story with guitar was basically that of - can't believe I'm typing this - @michael_bolton here. I picked up the guitar at 15, by 17 or so was "pretty good" in the blues rock sense, but it was a LONG road of slow incremental progress to get from there to "pretty good" in the shred sense, with a lot of false starts, and a couple pretty big plateau breakthroughs along the way. And, like I said, those didn't always correspond with how much time I was playing.


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## jaxadam (May 24, 2022)

Wildebeest said:


> Thinking about how I used to watch Lorcan and Jaxadam's old youtube videos about 15 years ago and having them inspire me to practice as a teenager.



I’m glad somebody watched em besides me!


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## Wildebeest (May 24, 2022)

jaxadam said:


> I’m glad somebody watched em besides me!


I was hunting every Snow Cloud Horus video I could find before finally buying my own


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## BlackMastodon (May 24, 2022)

gunshow86de said:


> "I do too much in life"
> /doesn't even practice 540 wheel kicks


I just fucking realized the context of this joke wasn't that the guy was doing wheel kicks 540 times, but that the kicks were 540° spins. Guess I'm a beta now.

On topic: shredding is a school boy's game; you gotta give that up and start playing sludge as you get older. Less Marty Friedman, more Matt Pike.


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## jaxadam (May 24, 2022)

Wildebeest said:


> I was hunting every Snow Cloud Horus video I could find before finally buying my own



I'm just glad I have proof out there of me playing licks 16 years ago that Marco Sfogli stole from me!


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## Choop (May 24, 2022)

jaxadam said:


> I'm just glad I have proof out there of me playing licks 16 years ago that Marco Sfogli stole from me!



Hah! I just saw your clips; you are sick, dude!...in a good way!


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## jaxadam (May 24, 2022)

Choop said:


> Hah! I just saw your clips; you are sick, dude!...in a good way!



Be sure to like and subscribe!


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## wheresthefbomb (May 24, 2022)

whole day I'm fucking busy
only get few practice

too relatable my dude



BlackMastodon said:


> I just fucking realized the context of this joke wasn't that the guy was doing wheel kicks 540 times, but that the kicks were 540° spins. Guess I'm a beta now.
> 
> On topic: shredding is a school boy's game; you gotta give that up and start playing sludge as you get older. Less Marty Friedman, more Matt Pike.



Tune down, turn up, doom out.

Anecdotally I have heard from a lot of people that made this transition that they find playing slow a lot more challenging. I wouldn't know, as I have never tried to shred, but for obvious reasons I find this belief very appealing.


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## MFB (May 24, 2022)

wheresthefbomb said:


> whole day I'm fucking busy
> only get few practice
> 
> too relatable my dude
> ...



I remember years ago I had some old-time members over as we were trying to get a New England get-together going and it didn't quite happen; at the time I was very fast rhythm player, focusing more on gallops a la Schaffer than anything and one of them mentioned playing for feel vs. tightness and I for the life of me could not do it. Gun to me head, if I had to 'groove' I was incapable of doing it and it wasn't until years later I learned to do a middle ground. 

Nowadays I'm all about the feel and I'd have to make an effort to get back to thrash style rhythm playing, but it's just wild how you can be so focused on one thing and it eliminates the entire ability to do the other without realizing it.


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## Emperoff (May 24, 2022)

BlackMastodon said:


> On topic: shredding is a school boy's game; you gotta give that up and start playing sludge as you get older. Less Marty Friedman, more Matt Pike.


There is no such thing as "less Marty Friedman".


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## hayfever (May 24, 2022)

yup, relevant to me too recently:

I had a slight interest in guitar when I was young but was immature and averse to anything that took work, practice, or consistency to improve and was way more interested in playing video games. I picked guitar up again just as a hobby at the end of 2017 but once again didn't practice much until for some reason I finally got the urge to take it seriously in late 2019/early 2020 and started committing to practice at least an hour a day. In the last year I've been in a phase of obsessively trying to get faster working on lead techniques. In the last few months on a good day I can fit in 4 hours of structured practice broken up into two one hour sessions and one two hour session, but most days its just the two hour session. I keep trying to find even more time to practice given my goals but it is pretty tough in this phase of life...

I'm 31 now and feel like what I struggle with most is the mental side of playing - I really have a hard time with being patient with myself. I feel like I'm playing catch up still working on a lot of things that other guitar players took care of in their teens. I'm also past a lot of the noob gains so it seems like I spend a ton of time practicing without improving as much as I did before which is tough. Could all this time I spend practicing be better spent on something else? Maybe, but for some reason figuring out the guitar thing and getting to a point where I can write my own music has been one of the most important things to me in the last 2 years since it seems like I'm always going to keep coming back to it at various points in my life wishing I stayed serious sooner. It doesn't help that the music I aspire to play and write is highly "technical" - tech death, prog metal. It would be a lot easier if I was just interested in playing cowboy chords, heh


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## RevDrucifer (May 27, 2022)

jaxadam said:


> I’m glad somebody watched em besides me!



I have them saved on a portable hard drive I hide in a box with all my fleshlights and bottles of lube.


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## RevDrucifer (May 27, 2022)

I’ve been stuck in this situation for the last decade where I’ll get REALLY up to par with guitar but then I take 2-4 weeks to focus on a different instrument and when I get back to the guitar, I’ll have to start all over again. And that works for every other instrument as well. I’m in a constant rotation of mediocrity. 

From Feb 2020 - Oct 2021 my personal and professional life were in complete fucking hell, it sucked out so much life out of me that I was pretty much getting home from work, hitting the couch and existing. I managed to get some recording done but in the midst of that, sold my house during a divorce and now that I’m in an apartment, tracking vocals is a bitch. 

Then after so much downtime, even when the smoke started to clear, I‘ve been having to force myself into my studio to get shit done. Just like a drug addict needs to re-wire those neural pathways after an extended period of relying on a substance to get those endorphins going, it hasn’t been any different with writing/recording. 

I know the best times, for me, are when my output is steady enough that the motivation becomes self-perpetuating because I’m constantly motivated by the last thing I worked on and seeing if I can top it. All it takes is 3 days away from the studio to fuck that up for me. 

I just picked up The War Of Art, which I’ve seen at least a dozen musicians suggest in the past. While I get the idea it‘s going to be a lot of “Just do it!”, it was only $11 and can’t hurt to dig into.


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## StevenC (May 27, 2022)

BlackMastodon said:


> I just fucking realized the context of this joke wasn't that the guy was doing wheel kicks 540 times, but that the kicks were 540° spins. Guess I'm a beta now.
> 
> On topic: shredding is a school boy's game; you gotta give that up and start playing sludge as you get older. Less Marty Friedman, more Matt Pike.


I've never heard of Matt Pike before and just googled him. I'll stick with Marty.


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## Xaeldaren (May 27, 2022)

For some perspective, pardon the self pity, but I practice for around 5 hours a day because my job has a tonne of downtime. I'm also an orphan, and I broke up with my fiancée last year, leaving me alone in the city to which I moved to be with her. I would probably switch places with you in a heartbeat.


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## BlackMastodon (May 27, 2022)

StevenC said:


> I've never heard of Matt Pike before and just googled him. I'll stick with Marty.


Ruh-roh. I posted this comment not knowing anything about his conspiracy beliefs.


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## MFB (May 27, 2022)

BlackMastodon said:


> Ruh-roh. I posted this comment not knowing anything about his conspiracy beliefs.



I've been kind of following that, it sort of boils down to "how much of me enjoying this music means I know have a connection to David Icke's beliefs?" Pike doesn't strike me as the type who DOES believe it, although looking at him he seems like he'd be the target audience; just that he's read Icke's stuff and it sort of spawns this other idea that then becomes a Sleep/HOF idea, but given the 'source material' does that also mean their stuff is sort of tainted?

The old separating the art from the artist spiel


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## wheresthefbomb (May 27, 2022)

I didn't know any of that about Matt Pike, but it's not surprising. I met him in the elevator of my hotel when I was a psycho California, he was a nice dude and gave me a high (_not_ on fire) five. Even if he was at some point an intellectual giant, he's smoked enough cannabis to addle god's brain. Even his stage presence gives strong "dumb rockstar" vibes. 

If nothing else, he's one of amerika's last "true rockstars." At least he hasn't diddled any kids or abused any women that we know of.


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## MFB (May 27, 2022)

People were talking about it in the doom sub-reddit, and the consensus is that Matt's basically a human golden retriever who learned to play guitar; and if that's kind of person you're taking information from/shaping your views from, then you've got bigger problems.


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## coreysMonster (May 28, 2022)

You can always cut out 100% of the time you spend on online forums and practice instead.


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## MaxOfMetal (May 28, 2022)

coreysMonster said:


> You can always cut out 100% of the time you spend on online forums and practice instead.



Go fuck yourself.


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## BlackMastodon (May 29, 2022)

I think it's a matter of self-discipline and how you want to look at your time. I think we all have like 3-4+ hobbies that we rotate our attention on, and playing video games has become so ubiquitous that I barely consider it a hobby, similar to watching movies (unless you're a hardc0re g4m3r like some movie buffs). Sometimes after a long day at work I don't want to do any house work or my other hobbies (woodworking, painting minis, biking) and just want to sit down and play video games for a while, and that's fine. People often view video games as a waste of time but if you're getting some enjoyment out of it then who cares? Just don't play games that leave you more pissed than when you started (looking at you, League of Legends). I guess the biggest thing is to not force yourself to play and practice because it might burn you out and make you not want to pick up the guitar at all.

My aimless rambling aside, my point is that there aren't enough hours in the day (lousy 40+ hour work weeks).


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## crankyrayhanky (May 29, 2022)

If you look at the way you spend your time and you're sad, well I think that is telling you something. No one is forcing you to play video games and drink beer.


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## gunch (May 29, 2022)

If I wasn’t depressed about my situation in life I’m sure af am now


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## budda (May 29, 2022)

Itt: time management.


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## StevenC (May 30, 2022)

To be honest I'd have a lot of sympathy for OP if the problem wasn't "I like beer and video games more than guitar"


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## soul_lip_mike (May 30, 2022)

Focused practice helps. Every time you sit down to play even if its 30 minutes you should have a goal in mind.


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## mongey (May 30, 2022)

Let’s face it , kids ruin everything.


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## budda (May 30, 2022)

mongey said:


> Let’s face it , kids ruin everything.


My guitar collection since having one is the wildest it’s ever been, I dunno


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## bigswifty (May 30, 2022)

StevenC said:


> To be honest I'd have a lot of sympathy for OP if the problem wasn't "I like beer and video games more than guitar"




Yeah. Cut the video games. All of a sudden, a lot of time opens up.


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## Emperoff (May 30, 2022)

mongey said:


> Let’s face it , kids ruin everything.



Nah. Even without kids life always gets in the way of playing guitar unless you make a living out of it.

I'm getting back to metronome woodshedding lately. It's crazy how focused practice pays off. If I had 1h of practice, I used to noodle during 1h. Now I'm like 45min pure practice and 15 min jamming. The jamming feels so good afterwards (kinda like a reward).

I can't play every day, but if I can pull off 3 practice sessions a week plus a rehearsal on sundays then I'm more than happy.


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## mongey (May 30, 2022)

budda said:


> My guitar collection since having one is the wildest it’s ever been, I dunno


Yeah but do you get to play them ?


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## TheBolivianSniper (May 30, 2022)

dbrozz said:


> Yeah. Cut the video games. All of a sudden, a lot of time opens up.


I stopped playing video games when I got a new PC and didn't feel like installing all the stuff on my computer. Now it's just filled with plugins and samples instead of game files and character sheets. 

Do I feel cooler? No

Am I better at guitar? yes 

am I happier? eh? more fulfilled I guess


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## bigswifty (May 30, 2022)

TheBolivianSniper said:


> I stopped playing video games when I got a new PC and didn't feel like installing all the stuff on my computer. Now it's just filled with plugins and samples instead of game files and character sheets.
> 
> Do I feel cooler? No
> 
> ...



Exactly.
I look at this action as more of a positive reduction than "adding more time" or something.
Cutting video games doesn't necessarily mean you'll use all of that "video game time" on playing guitar or making music.
But for me, playing video games became kind of a slog, and I never, EVER, felt fulfilled after playing a game/investing time into a game (except for Hollow Knight.. that game fucking rules). So, I just said fuck it and stopped playing, and now I don't get that feeling towards games. And I probably play guitar about 25% more


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## budda (May 30, 2022)

mongey said:


> Yeah but do you get to play them ?


Yep.


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## Dooky (May 30, 2022)

RG503 said:


> i like my video games. i like my beers. i like my movies. i work. i also do some things for what we will call "personal growth". i also play guitar. im 42. when i was 13, guitar was my life. id watch cartoons and try to play with the music and stuff.... i learned real quick. then i lost interest, and when i picked it up again, i was caught in ruts of jamming the same riffs and blues scale licks.


You're 42 and the first two interests you mention are video games and beer. What a waste of time and money.


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## pahulkster (May 30, 2022)

Eh make the time. If you truly can't do half an hour a day then you don't need to. Consistency and focus is everything. You have to practice practicing which sounds stupid but is a thing.


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## Emperoff (May 31, 2022)

Dooky said:


> You're 42 and the first two interests you mention are video games and beer. What a waste of time and money.



Hey! What's wrong with beer and videogames?


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## ArtDecade (May 31, 2022)

Emperoff said:


> Hey! What's wrong with beer and videogames?



At 42, you should at least be cultured enough to embrace Scotch and first print editions of Dungeons & Dragons manuals.


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## Brocephus (May 31, 2022)

How about combining beers and guitar for eh... multitasking purposes, let's say


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## mongey (May 31, 2022)

I have to say that I’m 48 and have 2 young kids , 7 and 3 , and I had to cut video games. Beer is still necessary. Guitar time is getting better as they get a bit more self sufficient. 

Play more at the moment that I have for 7 years.


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## wheresthefbomb (May 31, 2022)

I too have cut video games from my life almost completely. Once I started seriously facing my alcoholism, I started to recognize other areas where my addictive behavior would crop up as well. Video games and social media soon revealed themselves to be incredibly problematic, places I would use as an escapist hole, smashing that dopamine button like a slot machine.

I still indulge every once in a while, but now my awareness of my own behavior is to the point where I won't even allow myself to play for more than a couple hours a month, and I don't play super addictive games anymore, mostly old childhood RPGs that predate the World of Warcrack model.

It's amazing what I've learned about myself once I started thinking this way. I use lots of things this way when I'm not feeling great; cannabis, socialization, food, sex, even reading. At a certain point it's less about cutting stuff out than it is about addressing the underlying behavior, but it's also important to recognize what things are legitimately inhibiting growth.

Socialization, food and sex are also things I have a biological imperative to find so I can't very well cut those out, but intentionally addictive video games and substances that make it too easy not to care are a clear net negative in my life (and, I reckon, most people's lives if they're honest).

"Are you doing this thing instead of things you wish you were doing/(feel like) you should be doing?" for me was one of the questions that really made it clear I had a problem, and that it reached further than just alcohol.


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## Dooky (May 31, 2022)

Emperoff said:


> Hey! What's wrong with beer and videogames?


If you're over the age of 25 and your main hobbies are still beer and videogames, then you need to have a good hard look at yourself and start making steps to becoming a big boy.


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## BlackMastodon (May 31, 2022)

Dooky said:


> If you're over the age of 25 and your main hobbies are still beer and videogames, then you need to have a good hard look at yourself and start making steps to becoming a big boy.


That's one hot take there, guy.

Guess it's time to grow up and get into cigars and removing the catalytic converter from an '82 Challenger that still plays my dad's Poison tapes.


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## chipchappy (May 31, 2022)

quiet down everyone, a guy on a guitar forum with the screen name 'Dooky' is gonna tell us how to be a big boy


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## narad (May 31, 2022)

I get a feeling crossfit is about to enter the conversation.


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## Dr. Caligari (Jun 1, 2022)

Everybody has to decide for themselves what to do with their time. If people want to play video games then there's nothing wrong with that. Personally with more modern games I found they were designed less to be fun and more to keep me playing regardless of fun, and that's part of what drove me to quit. Doing quests, chasing achievements, doing things just so I can do other things or feel accomplished. Fuck that, that's not fun, that's chores.


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## Metaldestroyerdennis (Jun 1, 2022)

Dooky said:


> If you're over the age of 25 and your main hobbies are still beer and videogames, then you need to have a good hard look at yourself and start making steps to becoming a big boy.



I'll take the bait. I'm 26 with a _very _well-paying job. Please tell me what big-boy steps I should be taking considering I have my 401k taken care of but have nothing to do with my life and money besides guitars, beer and video games. Do I go out to clubs like a 21-year-old to try to meet a wife to settle down with? Pls help frat lyfe was over years ago along with my hairline and girls don't throw themselves at me anymore


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## Dooky (Jun 1, 2022)

Metaldestroyerdennis said:


> I'll take the bait. I'm 26 with a _very _well-paying job. Please tell me what big-boy steps I should be taking considering I have my 401k taken care of but have nothing to do with my life and money besides guitars, beer and video games. Do I go out to clubs like a 21-year-old to try to meet a wife to settle down with? Pls help frat lyfe was over years ago along with my hairline and girls don't throw themselves at me anymore


I hope your "_very_ well-paying job" (la-di-da) doesn't require you to write coherent statements. What are you on about?


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## Dooky (Jun 1, 2022)

chipchappy said:


> quiet down everyone, a guy on a guitar forum with the screen name 'Dooky' is gonna tell us how to be a big boy


This genuinely made me laugh out loud


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## KnightBrolaire (Jun 1, 2022)

coreysMonster said:


> You can always cut out 100% of the time you spend on online forums and practice instead.


jesus if I did that I'd actually be good at guitar. or at least decent


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## works0fheart (Jun 1, 2022)

narad said:


> I get a feeling crossfit is about to enter the conversation.



Where's that guy who does the spinning kicks or whatever when you need him.


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## BlackMastodon (Jun 1, 2022)

Dooky said:


> I hope your "_very_ well-paying job" (la-di-da) doesn't require you to write coherent statements. What are you on about?


Is reading comprehension not a Big Boi trait? His post was fine; we're still waiting for your insight.


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## Demiurge (Jun 1, 2022)

There's nothing wrong with having interests that might be comparatively frivolous to other things. Even being a hobbyist 'bedroom musician' can be a lot of work, building/maintaining proficiency with main instrument, learning new instruments, writing music, building/maintaining proficiency recording, maintaining equipment, releasing/promoting music, etc. If you have a demanding job and a lot of obligations- like many do- there's not always the wherewithal to take all of that on in one's free time.


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## Strobe (Jun 1, 2022)

Just turned 40. I have a lot of hobbies, and a fairly demanding job. I started taking lessons again a few years back (and I have been playing in bands for years, I am not bad). I mention this because with limited time, a more structured and focused practice will help you get gains. Playing the same songs you have played for years over and over will not getting you shredding, but the right finger exercises done consistently and purposefully will make you play better and faster. It is as much about how you spend your time practicing as how much time you spend practicing. If you still want to get better but have life stuff - I recommend lessons to help you focus your time efficiently.


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## Metaldestroyerdennis (Jun 1, 2022)

Dooky said:


> I hope your "_very_ well-paying job" (la-di-da) doesn't require you to write coherent statements. What are you on about?


Ok ok sorry I thought you would be able to get the implications I was going for but I'll be more direct. If I have a career which is progressing nicely, pays all my bills comfortably, am contributing to retirement accounts, and still have discretionary income, I don't see how liking video games and beer are childish. The only possible thing I can think of that I would need to get done by the standard adult playbook would be to settle down with a girl, but I think it's ridiculous to go out of your way to just get into a relationship in order to check off some imaginary boxes of what "growing up" should look like. Followed by a small joke about how I'm past my prime.


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## Dooky (Jun 1, 2022)

Metaldestroyerdennis said:


> Ok ok sorry I thought you would be able to get the implications I was going for but I'll be more direct. If I have a career which is progressing nicely, pays all my bills comfortably, am contributing to retirement accounts, and still have discretionary income, I don't see how liking video games and beer are childish. The only possible thing I can think of that I would need to get done by the standard adult playbook would be to settle down with a girl, but I think it's ridiculous to go out of your way to just get into a relationship in order to check off some imaginary boxes of what "growing up" should look like. Followed by a small joke about how I'm past my prime.


Michael Jackson had a career which was progressing nicely, paid all the bills comfortably, was contributing to retirement accounts, and still had discretionary income. He spent a lot of it on stuffed toys, dollies, figurines, tricycles and video games. But no one ever referred to him as childish, did they?


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## Dooky (Jun 1, 2022)

BlackMastodon said:


> Is reading comprehension not a Big Boi trait? His post was fine; we're still waiting for your insight.


Is your real name Karen?


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## BlackMastodon (Jun 1, 2022)

Dooky said:


> Is your real name Karen?


Got it. Just another Troll who can't explain their position when they get called out and instead resorts to personal jabs. 

I would've preferred it if you were a Crossfit evangelist.


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## Dooky (Jun 1, 2022)

BlackMastodon said:


> Got it. Just another Troll who can't explain their position when they get called out and instead resorts to personal jabs.
> 
> I would've preferred it if you were a Crossfit evangelist.


Sorry I hurt your feelings. I made a more comprehensive reply to Metaldestroyerdennis just previous to my insensitive response to you. Hopefully it provides you with the further insight you were requesting.
Kind regards,
Dooky (aka: Big Boi)


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## BlackMastodon (Jun 2, 2022)

Dooky said:


> Sorry I hurt your feelings. I made a more comprehensive reply to Metaldestroyerdennis just previous to my insensitive response to you. Hopefully it provides you with the further insight you were requesting.
> Kind regards,
> Dooky (aka: Big Boi)


Lolbye


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## GunpointMetal (Jun 2, 2022)

If you don't have outside responsibilities like children, spending your time and money on exactly what you want is about adult as it gets. Isn't that pretty much the only reason to grow up?


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## chipchappy (Jun 2, 2022)

y'know whats a super big boy move - not being judgemental of other people's interests/hobbies/lifestyles


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## wheresthefbomb (Jun 2, 2022)

chipchappy said:


> y'know whats a super big boy move - not being judgemental of other people's interests/hobbies/lifestyles


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## works0fheart (Jun 2, 2022)

Dooky said:


> Michael Jackson had a career which was progressing nicely, paid all the bills comfortably, was contributing to retirement accounts, and still had discretionary income. He spent a lot of it on stuffed toys, dollies, figurines, tricycles and video games. *But no one ever referred to him as childish, did they?*



Actually, I think they did, didn't they?


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## bigswifty (Jun 2, 2022)

Guys, please.. I'm losing brain cells shockingly fast over here


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## Dooky (Jun 3, 2022)

chipchappy said:


> y'know whats a super big boy move - not being judgemental of other people's interests/hobbies/lifestyles


Umm, have you not met anyone over the age of 70 before? Old folks are surely about as big boy as it gets and they're the most judgemental people there is when it comes to interests/hobbies/lifestyles.


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## MaxOfMetal (Jun 3, 2022)

Y'all will argue just to argue.


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## Dr. Caligari (Jun 3, 2022)

Dooky said:


> Umm, have you not met anyone over the age of 70 before? Old folks are surely about as big boy as it gets and they're the most judgemental people there is when it comes to interests/hobbies/lifestyles.



"Old people are judgmental so it's a good thing"?

I've met a lot of old people and they haven't been judgmental at all. Your comment comes across as pretty ageist to me.


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## Dooky (Jun 4, 2022)

Dr. Caligari said:


> "Old people are judgmental so it's a good thing"?
> 
> I've met a lot of old people and they haven't been judgmental at all. Your comment comes across as pretty ageist to me.


Dude, I'm 82 years old.


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## AwakenTheSkies (Jun 5, 2022)

Dooky said:


> If you're over the age of 25 and your main hobbies are still beer and videogames, then you need to have a good hard look at yourself and start making steps to becoming a big boy.



But that is literally big boy life. Having a physical or mental straining job. Going back home exhausted and just looking forward to drink or smoke weed & disconnect from life. Same thing the next day. Go party on the weekends. That is life for most people I've met. Even middle aged and older ones, with kids too.


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## Sandy Black (Jun 7, 2022)

RG503 said:


> i like my video games. i like my beers. i like my movies. i work. i also do some things for what we will call "personal growth". i also play guitar. im 42. when i was 13, guitar was my life. id watch cartoons and try to play with the music and stuff.... i learned real quick. then i lost interest, and when i picked it up again, i was caught in ruts of jamming the same riffs and blues scale licks.
> 
> the good ones are these guys who do NOTHING but play guitar. true, a real virtuoso comes along every now and then who picks it up like water.... an EVH or a dimebag, if you will.
> 
> i just cant commit much time to guitar, and im not getting better. adulting sucks. this makes me sad.


The classical guitarist John Williams only practiced for 30 mintues everyday but practiced intensively for that time. You getter better everytime you pick up the guitar even if it doesn't feel like progress. As long as when you practice your brain needs to be engaged as opposed to sitting playing through scales that you've practiced again and again. My advice would be to practice as much as you can throughout the week, whether it be only for 15 minutes one day. Really focus on what you're practicing and don't get distracted, you'll find that you will make progress if you are truly engaged in what you are practicing. It's always better to practice consistently for shorter periods of time rather than practicing for hours one day then not touching the guitar again for weeks or even months. Remember, consistency is key


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