# Djodism?



## Chuck (Jul 25, 2013)

What is Djodism? Can I join? How does one acquire the disciple of Djod banner?


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## JEngelking (Jul 25, 2013)

http://www.sevenstring.org/forum/of...what-i-did-while-stuck-pre-migration-sso.html

Join us, and to pass the good word on from Xaios, bask in the frigid purple slim of Djod's love. There's cookies and sacrifices to be had as a sign-on bonus as well.


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## Chuck (Jul 25, 2013)

Oh I read through the first couple pages of that awhile back, I did not get to Djodism though


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## M3CHK1LLA (Jul 25, 2013)

rule 1. you dont talk about djod club

rule 2. *you dont talk about djod club!*

rule 3. you go to prison and get initiated with one of these...


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## Chuck (Jul 25, 2013)

All Hail Djod!


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## vilk (Jul 26, 2013)

Is this like a reference to Zod from superman?


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## Chuck (Jul 26, 2013)

Nope.


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## gunshow86de (Jul 26, 2013)

Misery Theory said:


> What is Djodism?



Judging by the times most of the Djod posts occur, I'm going to guess that Djodism derives from workplace boredom. 

Yes, I mock your faith. I am the world's first Djatheist!


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## MetalBuddah (Jul 26, 2013)

baron samedi said:


> Is this like a reference to Zod from superman?


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## Chuck (Jul 26, 2013)

gunshow86de said:


> Judging by the times most of the Djod posts occur, I'm going to guess that Djodism derives from workplace boredom.
> 
> Yes, I mock your faith. I am the world's first Djatheist!



You must be converted! You are in the light, you rapscallion!


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## Rick (Jul 26, 2013)

gunshow86de said:


> Judging by the times most of the Djod posts occur, I'm going to guess that Djodism derives from workplace boredom.
> 
> Yes, I mock your faith. I am the world's first Djatheist!


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## Vhyle (Jul 26, 2013)

I don't get it.


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## ilyti (Jul 26, 2013)

JUST READ THE THREAD, it won't take long. Then you'll get it. Someone sticky that Nega Sevenstring thread, and Djodaism (I like that better) will become the official cult of SSO.


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## Xaios (Jul 26, 2013)

Vhyle said:


> I don't get it.



What you get matters not to the great Djod, for Djod has analmindprobed the whole of the Universe from the sanctum of Nega-SSO, and thus, Djod "gets you."

Come with us, and sing the songs to bring about the end of all beginnings... of ends...





...of beginnings...























...of ends...




ALL HAIL DJOD!


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## M3CHK1LLA (Jul 26, 2013)

sorry brah...some of us are already in the rg8 cult.


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## Rick (Jul 27, 2013)

Xaios said:


> What you get matters not to the great Djod, for Djod has analmindprobed the whole of the Universe from the sanctum of Nega-SSO, and thus, Djod "gets you."
> 
> Come with us, and sing the songs to bring about the end of all beginnings... of ends...
> 
> ...



ALL HAIL DJOD


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## musicaldeath (Jul 27, 2013)

Djod is our Savior. Djod is the Destroyer. Djod is the Darkness. Djod is the Light! Rejoice and Despair! Hail Djod!


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## Nile (Jul 27, 2013)

But what does he look like?


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## Ocara-Jacob (Jul 27, 2013)

Djod is the darkness, the comforting embrace of death, the END OF DJENT!

HAIL DJOD!


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## crg123 (Jul 27, 2013)

M3CHK1LLA said:


>



hahah wat!??


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## downburst82 (Jul 27, 2013)

I keep thinking of this classic!

Saturday Night Live _ Religious Cult Members - Video Dailymotion

http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/weekend-update-segment---religious-cult-members/n10605/

ps: hail Djod!


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## Vhyle (Jul 27, 2013)

You sound like a bunch of Scientologists.


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## Ralyks (Jul 27, 2013)

I just read the original Nega-SSO thread at work. That was one of the greatest things I have ever read on SSO.

HAIL DJOD!


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## jeleopard (Jul 27, 2013)

Can I be a Djodist? 

Do we wage Djihad on Djatheists?


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## flint757 (Jul 27, 2013)

Worry about the Djentiles first.


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## Xaios (Jul 27, 2013)

flint757 said:


> Worry about the Djentiles first.



Indeed. The Djatheists only attempt to discredit our beliefs. This is impossible, because the Creed of Djod has been etched into our retinas by lasers, and knowledge of his power permanently instilled into our brains by telepathic ducks.

The Djentiles, conversely, actively seek to destroy us.


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## Vostre Roy (Jul 27, 2013)

Vhyle said:


> You sound like a bunch of Scientologists.



Nah, we don't ask for people to give us all their money and possessions....















....yet


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## Chuck (Jul 28, 2013)

Damn some loser Djatheist neg'd me


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## icos211 (Jul 28, 2013)

Vhyle said:


> You sound like a bunch of Scientologists.



Scientologists have only scratched the surface of the all consuming darkness that is DJOD


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## M3CHK1LLA (Jul 28, 2013)

Misery Theory said:


> Damn some loser Djatheist neg'd me



holy crap...someone has taken this to a whole new level.

thats like a religious hate crime?


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## flint757 (Jul 28, 2013)

Misery Theory said:


> Damn some loser Djatheist neg'd me



Really? 

That is hilarious. 

They have yet to bask in the glory of Djod is all. They will come around eventually. You all will. 

...and welcome to the fold.



M3CHK1LLA said:


> holy crap...someone has taken this to a whole new level.
> 
> thats like a religious hate crime?



I think it is. Someone takes themselves way too seriously.


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## Xaios (Jul 28, 2013)

Misery Theory said:


> Damn some loser Djatheist neg'd me



I got hit too. Don't worry brother, this is the religious persecution that the scriptures foretold! Hell, we should be HONORED to have been negged for our beliefs! We shall persevere!

HAIL DJOD!


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## flint757 (Jul 28, 2013)

Xaios said:


> I got hit too. Don't worry brother, this is the religious persecution that the scriptures foretold! Hell, we should be HONORED to have been negged for our beliefs! We shall persevere!
> 
> HAIL DJOD!



They cannot silence the faithful! I think I know who next Thursday's sacrifice should be.  
Now I just need to find them and then follow them whilst playing country music as loud as possible. That ought to do the trick then everyone shall know of the almighty Djjod.

HAIL DJOD!


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## sniperfreak223 (Jul 28, 2013)

flint757 said:


> They cannot silence the faithful! I think I know who next Thursday's sacrifice should be.
> Now I just need to find them and then follow them whilst playing country music as loud as possible. That ought to do the trick then everyone shall know of the almighty Djjod.
> 
> HAIL DJOD!



.... that...hack their interwebz and replace their entire music library with whiny country ballads and Rick Astley, that should do the trick...NO ONE survives that combo!!!


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## flint757 (Jul 28, 2013)

sniperfreak223 said:


> .... that...hack their interwebz and replace their entire music library with whiny country ballads and Rick Astley, that should do the trick...NO ONE survives that combo!!!



Better idea as I don't have to actively participate and become an accidental sacrifice.


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## turbo_4i4ka (Jul 28, 2013)

How dare you mock Djentar, the eldest of the musical gods, the Bringer of the Legendary seven and eight string weapons of mass destruction, the embodiment of heavenly distorted, syncopated sounds, the ruler of Djentia and all of it's djentlemen? 

Are you aware of the fate that besieges thy all, who oppose his unquestionable will? As His Emidjence once said, in chapter six, page 34, passage 7:36 of Djentopia:

" Know me, and embrace musical prowess of untold epicness;
with relentless riffs falling down from the sky,
with sweeps so great thy'll wonder why, oh why,
have I never worshipped you Djentar, and beg for a try!

And I shall emerge before thy with a 7 string axe,
8 thy will get only when it is consumed by djenty fire,
and thy will djent day and night until I deem thy acts
worthy of my perpetual Djent desire.

And I shall make thy my emissary, my might
to spread the knowledge of this sacred gift;
and thy will browse all forums in thy sight,
and make djent worthy in our present rift.

But if thy stray away and make belief,
that all this truth is not thy king,
thy shall be buried beneath the depths of Djif,
where thy'll think Justin Bieber is a thing!"

Heed my words - no matter in what tear of space time continuum you try to convert innocent djentlemen under your tainted banner, we are many and we will obliterate you. Resistance is futile!

LONG LIVE DJENTAR!


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## sniperfreak223 (Jul 28, 2013)

^looks like we found our sacrifice.

HAIL DJOD!!!


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## turbo_4i4ka (Jul 28, 2013)

^

The only people that are going to be sacrificed, is your petty cult!

P.S. - Boredom at work is taking the upper hand...


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## flint757 (Jul 28, 2013)

turbo_4i4ka said:


> ^
> 
> The only people that are going to be sacrificed, is your petty cult!
> 
> P.S. - Boredom at work is taking the upper hand...



Would you prefer Taylor Swift or Rascal Flatts?


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## turbo_4i4ka (Jul 28, 2013)

I fear no death for I serve the almighty! My djenty aura will be no match for your attempts to stray me away from the one true god! ALL HAIL DJENTAR, DJENT INCARNATE!


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## M3CHK1LLA (Jul 28, 2013)




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## turbo_4i4ka (Jul 28, 2013)




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## Vostre Roy (Jul 28, 2013)

Haters gonna hate, but Djod will remember once the great revelation day reveals the real truth about our savior and overload.

PRAISE DJOD!


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## Kaickul (Jul 28, 2013)

After learning about the teachings of the almighty Djod, I have decided to become a Disciple of Djod. ALL HAIL DJOD! Screw you Djentiles! DIE!!!!


Do we have a facebook page dedicated to everything Djod?


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## leandroab (Jul 28, 2013)

I'm sorry but:

CNUT >>> DJOD


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## Chuck (Jul 28, 2013)

leandroab said:


> I'm sorry but:
> 
> CNUT >>> DJOD



DJOD IS LIFE


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## Vhyle (Jul 28, 2013)

I'm wondering how far this will go.


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## Sicarius (Jul 28, 2013)

6 threads and a movie.


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## Chuck (Jul 28, 2013)

ALL HAIL DJOD!


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## MetalBuddah (Jul 29, 2013)

Vostre Roy said:


> Nah, we don't ask for people to give us all their money and possessions....
> 
> 
> 
> ...



We just simply ask for your vintage Ibanez RGs

HAIL DJOD


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## Forrest_H (Jul 29, 2013)

On a side note, I'd like a banner. All Hail DJOD!


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## MetalBuddah (Jul 29, 2013)

>



here you go


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## Forrest_H (Jul 29, 2013)

edit nevermind works


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## Ocara-Jacob (Jul 29, 2013)

Djod has come forth. The Golden Era has begun.


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## musicaldeath (Jul 29, 2013)

Djentar? Names don't matter, you are all the same.

Thursday is coming...

HAIL DJOD

Edit: Also, Djod better never get a facebook page. That is how we will know that we have gone way too far. We should probably also keep this in the Adventures in Nega SSO thread... easier for me to keep track of...


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## gunshow86de (Jul 29, 2013)

If this is some sort of elaborate tax shelter, count me in.....


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## Chuck (Jul 29, 2013)

We should totally make this a meeting place for new Djodist convertee's.


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## Rick (Jul 29, 2013)

musicaldeath said:


> Djentar? Names don't matter, you are all the same.
> 
> Thursday is coming...
> 
> ...



Are you kidding? A Djod FB page is the best idea ever!


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## Idontpersonally (Jul 29, 2013)

Misery Theory said:


> We should totally make this a meeting place for new Djodist convertee's.


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## Xaios (Jul 29, 2013)

^ That is awesome. 



gunshow86de said:


> If this is some sort of elaborate tax shelter, count me in.....



As the good bad book says, "Render unto Djod what is Djod's." 


Everything is Djod's.


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## MetalBuddah (Jul 29, 2013)

Idontpersonally said:


>



Saviror?


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## Gothic Headhunter (Jul 29, 2013)

What does Djod have to offer someone with ungodly... ACTING TALENT!?


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## ElRay (Jul 29, 2013)

Based on this:



avatar, I'm guessing he's already experienced this:


M3CHK1LLA said:


>



Ray


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## Idontpersonally (Jul 29, 2013)

Rick said:


> Are you kidding? A Djod FB page is the best idea ever!


Tumblr Ftw, of souls that is.







MetalBuddah said:


> Saviror?



Fixed*


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## Rick (Jul 29, 2013)

Idontpersonally said:


>


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## musicaldeath (Jul 29, 2013)

I suppose a facebook or tumbler page isn't as crazy as writing the book of djod. which I started for the hell of it at work. it includes the following xverpts I wrote in the other thread. ill put it up qhen I'm done.


_Posted from Sevenstring.org App for Android_


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## flint757 (Jul 29, 2013)

We are the first disciples. 1000 years from now we will have amassed a worldwide following.


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## Rick (Jul 29, 2013)

musicaldeath said:


> I suppose a facebook or tumbler page isn't as crazy as writing the book of djod. which I started for the hell of it at work. it includes the following xverpts I wrote in the other thread. ill put it up qhen I'm done.
> 
> 
> _Posted from Sevenstring.org App for Android_



https://www.facebook.com/theteachingsofdjod

You're welcome.


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## Idontpersonally (Jul 29, 2013)

I only have a tumblr though


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## musicaldeath (Jul 29, 2013)

I posted on it lol. I will have to get the book of djod somewhat intelligible so it can get put up on there and people can know how insane we all really are.


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## Rick (Jul 29, 2013)

Idontpersonally said:


> I only have a tumblr though



Start one up, send me the link, and I'll put it on the FB page. Put the FB page link on the tumblr if you don't mind.


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## Xaios (Jul 29, 2013)

Gothic Headhunter said:


> What does Djod have to offer someone with ungodly... ACTING TALENT!?



An Oscar. I guarantee it.


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## skeels (Jul 29, 2013)

What's Djod?


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## Rick (Jul 29, 2013)

skeels said:


> What's Djod?



2nd post in this thread. 

Here's the link to the gloriousness. 

http://www.sevenstring.org/forum/off-topic/187038-adventures-nega-sevenstring-org-what-i-did-while-stuck-pre-migration-sso.html


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## Konfyouzd (Jul 29, 2013)




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## Idontpersonally (Jul 29, 2013)

The teachings of Djod on tumblr


Ill go ahead and get started on the blood and water chapter.


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## Konfyouzd (Jul 29, 2013)

Rick said:


> https://www.facebook.com/theteachingsofdjod
> 
> You're welcome.



Who spoke of the great one? 

FACEBOOK knows? Someone's head will roll for this...


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## Chuck (Jul 29, 2013)

Lmao this is so awesome, thank you Djod! I shall cherish you forever!


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## Vhyle (Jul 29, 2013)

Haha, wow. Ok, this is pretty amusing. I liked the page as well.

I won't say I'm a born-again Disciple of Djod, but I will observe the teachings and see what the future holds!


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## Chuck (Jul 29, 2013)

Vhyle said:


> Haha, wow. Ok, this is pretty amusing. I liked the page as well.
> 
> I won't say I'm a born-again Disciple of Djod, but I will observe the teachings and see what the future holds!



Join the dark side. We don't have noise suppresors and compressors!


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## Vhyle (Jul 29, 2013)

Will there be black metal?


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## Konfyouzd (Jul 29, 2013)

Uhhh... YEA


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## Vhyle (Jul 29, 2013)

Konfyouzd said:


> Uhhh... YEA



I can feel my soul slowly being cleansed by the dark holiness of Djod, ever so slightly.

Tell me, will there be sub-par, thin guitar tones and atmospheric distant keyboards to accompany said black metal ceremonies?


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## Chuck (Jul 29, 2013)

Vhyle said:


> I can feel my soul slowly being cleansed by the dark holiness of Djod, ever so slightly.
> 
> Tell me, will there be sub-par, thin guitar tones and atmospheric distant keyboards to accompany said black metal ceremonies?



Complete with church burnings and stabbings.


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## BlackMastodon (Jul 29, 2013)

I respect all of your guys religious beliefs but I haven't seen enough evidence to prove or disprove Djod or Djentia.

I'll stick to being Prognostic.


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## Vhyle (Jul 29, 2013)

Misery Theory said:


> Complete with church burnings and stabbings.



It beckons me...


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## Chuck (Jul 29, 2013)

BlackMastodon said:


> I respect all of your guys religious beliefs but I haven't seen enough evidence to prove or disprove Djod or Djentia.
> 
> I'll stick to being Prognostic.



Have you not read of Xaios' encounter?


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## Konfyouzd (Jul 29, 2013)

Misery Theory said:


> Complete with church burnings and stabbings.



And racism too... Wait... No...


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## Rick (Jul 29, 2013)

Idontpersonally said:


> The teachings of Djod on tumblr
> 
> 
> Ill go ahead and get started on the blood and water chapter.



Linked.


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## Idontpersonally (Jul 29, 2013)

Vhyle said:


> I can feel my soul slowly being cleansed by the dark holiness of Djod, ever so slightly.



That will be covered more thoroughly in the blood and water chapter. Pretty soon you'll start to grow hair in funny places and start thinking about girls






A disciple of Djod(also called a hypno pollywog) begins at the larval stage in their life cycle of utter darkness.

Most Djodists do not exhibit parental care. Deep within their dna lies the sequential formula that will become the blueprint of all that is Djod and what they as his disciples are to become. 

As the devoted djodist matures, it most commonly metamorphosizes by gradually growing black leathery skin(usually the legs first, followed by the arms) and then outwardly absorbing anything Djent (or even Djent sounding) by Antidjentosis. Non Djent Riff glands [NDRG's] develop around the time of hand, leg and chest formation and Djodist's late in development will often be found near the surface of water, where they breathe in Djod and exchange their own blood and bile, for the darkest and most mystical riffing powers of Djod. Although the glands are often mistaken for "warts", they are present on healthy specimens and are not a result of infection. 


During the final stages of external metamorphosis, the adepts riffs change from a short, chaotic, hot mess of a run, to the buttery, melodic, and eternal soul crushing riffs of Djod. Within the first few seconds of being in the presence of our lord and savior Djod, the intestines shorten to accommodate the new diet of pure Djodism.


^ A short Excerpt from The Blood and water Chapter.


Guys, be sure to follow, reblog, favorite and ask more about the teachings of Djod on Fb and Tumblr. Thanks


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## musicaldeath (Jul 30, 2013)

So I found out one of the posts I made on the FB page was to Djodian for FB as it got removed and I got a neat message from FB moderators about not spreading religious hate? Although I don't really think what I wrote qualifies. It would also appear that our adventures in thread is now closed.


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## MetalBuddah (Jul 30, 2013)

Vhyle said:


> Will there be black metal?



Of course, Konfyouzd is here 




musicaldeath said:


> It would also appear that our adventures in thread is now closed.


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## flint757 (Jul 30, 2013)

musicaldeath said:


> So I found out one of the posts I made on the FB page was to Djodian for FB as it got removed and I got a neat message from FB moderators about not spreading religious hate? Although I don't really think what I wrote qualifies. It would also appear that our adventures in thread is now closed.



I was kind of surprised they closed it. Maybe they agreed that we only need one thread for this.


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## M3CHK1LLA (Jul 30, 2013)

so facebook knows what what a religious bigot is?

need to see fb message...


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## Xaios (Jul 30, 2013)

My post on FB simply just got removed, no explanation given. 

Anyways, another potential FB banner, full of sparklies!


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## Vostre Roy (Jul 30, 2013)

Xaios said:


> My post on FB simply just got removed, no explanation given.


 
Same with mine. Simply said:

"Vostre Roy, Absurd Apostle of Djod, reporting"

I don't see this being "religious hate at all"


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## flint757 (Jul 30, 2013)

I'm very confused. So this is happening on the Djod page? Crazy, especially since there is nothing bigoted about it and there are PLENTY of bigoted facebook pages already. Even if we were making fun of religion there is a ....ing God page on facebook.


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## Konfyouzd (Jul 30, 2013)

So... Are they showing extreme tolerance to a joke religion by removing comments--or inside jokes--from the very members of said made up joke religion under the pretense that we (the [joke] members) may be offended by our own jokes? 

It's time to have fun with this...

Or are we bigots for making a joke religion in the first place?


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## flint757 (Jul 30, 2013)

That's what I'm trying to figure out. Are they removing the comments thinking WE will be offended or do they think we are just being offensive in general?


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## Konfyouzd (Jul 30, 2013)

Well if the latter, then why allow the page to exist at all? For fear that the religion may be real and they'd be labeled the bigot? Hmm... 

*SS.org sues Facebook for religious intolerance*



SS.org said:


> Crude jokes are how we show our appreciation to the Djod of our understanding...


 
Dumbest lawsuit ever makes 70 internet nerds filthy rich... Love and Relationships thread is permanently locked...


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## Kaickul (Jul 30, 2013)

I'll change my religion in facebook to Djodism and see what happens.


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## musicaldeath (Jul 30, 2013)

I have started the first chalter of the book of Djod. I find the best time to write is late at night. makes it so that most of it is just insanity and hilarity.


_Posted from Sevenstring.org App for Android_


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## Rick (Jul 30, 2013)

They're deleting posts from the FB page? WTF?


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## Konfyouzd (Jul 30, 2013)

Do not be alarmed Brother Rick... We knew there would be opposition...


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## Idontpersonally (Jul 30, 2013)




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## Vostre Roy (Jul 30, 2013)

Konfyouzd said:


> Do not be alarmed Brother Rick... We knew there would be opposition...


 
We all know its a plot from the Djentars


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## Konfyouzd (Jul 30, 2013)

If anything we should be musically intolerant...

This is religiously irresponsible at the worst...


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## flint757 (Jul 30, 2013)

Liquid Rage said:


> I'll change my religion in facebook to Djodism and see what happens.



Djodism or Djodaism? I think the latter has a better ring to it.


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## JEngelking (Jul 30, 2013)

It was written in the Holy Book that the disciples faced the repression at every outlet on their journey to spread the good word. One evening, Djod sayeth unto them "Fear not, my children. Religious oppression against my good name is inevitable. You must persevere, and when you emerge through the floods of naysayers, Djentiles and Djatheists at every turn, then you will be stronger than ever. The most resilient vessels to my carry my spirit and faith, you shall be."

And so it went, as Djod's good word continued to spread its way across the land. And internet.


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## Konfyouzd (Jul 30, 2013)




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## musicaldeath (Jul 30, 2013)

The destroyer has spoken that we shall unleash fire and lightning unto our facebook page. Otherwise known as .... the FB police.

HAIL DJOD!


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## Xaios (Jul 30, 2013)

flint757 said:


> Djodism or Djodaism? I think the latter has a better ring to it.



I'm partial to Djodaism, myself. Some other options:

- Djodianity
- Djodlam
- Djodá'í
- Djodafarianism
- Djodoastrianism
- Djoducionism
- Djoditarian Djodiversalism
- Djodalah


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## flint757 (Jul 30, 2013)

Xaios said:


> I'm partial to *Djodaism*, myself. Some other options:
> 
> - Djodianity
> - *Djodlam*
> ...



I'm good with any of the bolded.


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## musicaldeath (Jul 30, 2013)

Chapter 1, The Great Darkness, Book of Djod:

_In the beginning, there was nothing. And unto the Great Darkness, the Master awoke. Born of shadow and fire through the Great Calamity of a stars explosion, Djod emerged unto the swirling debris of the unshaped multiverse. The multiverse, shaped over the span of 8 Years, 8 months, and 8 days, was completed on what was to be known as Thursday. Djod, the creator of the Nega-realm, came forth into the Universe to expand his dominion and finally to create Man. Man, the children of darkness, were born of Djod's own body. Firstly being devoured and thus being expelled from Djod's body, pure. But, Man was deceived, by the false gods of Djent, who called to Man to join them in the light and to refuse the Darkness that which hath been bestowed upon them. And so they did, all but a select few, who were left with the knowledge of Djod locked away from memory, waiting for the day that Djod would call and that they would be awakened.

Djod has retreated unto the multiverse, awaiting the day of Reckoning upon which he shall destroy all those that hath betrayed Him._

A rough excerpt from what I wrote last night. Still just laying it out, but will polish it up as I go. 

Hail DJOD!


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## Rick (Jul 30, 2013)

musicaldeath said:


> Chapter 1, The Great Darkness, Book of Djod:
> 
> _In the beginning, there was nothing. And unto the Great Darkness, the Master awoke. Born of shadow and fire through the Great Calamity of a stars explosion, Djod emerged unto the swirling debris of the unshaped multiverse. The multiverse, shaped over the span of 8 Years, 8 months, and 8 days, was completed on what was to be known as Thursday. Djod, the creator of the Nega-realm, came forth into the Universe to expand his dominion and finally to create Man. Man, the children of darkness, were born of Djod's own body. Firstly being devoured and thus being expelled from Djod's body, pure. But, Man was deceived, by the false gods of Djent, who called to Man to join them in the light and to refuse the Darkness that which hath been bestowed upon them. And so they did, all but a select few, who were left with the knowledge of Djod locked away from memory, waiting for the day that Djod would call and that they would be awakened.
> 
> ...



HAIL DJOD


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## Idontpersonally (Jul 30, 2013)

Did Djod just reveal this commandment unto any one else

It came in with a bit of static and feedback, but from what i could make out it sounded something like " I am the lord thy Djod, thou shalt not practice speed metal slowly".

HAIL DJOD


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## Konfyouzd (Jul 30, 2013)




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## Chuck (Jul 30, 2013)

I shall make a poll thread so us Djodists can vote on which name we shall use.


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## Idontpersonally (Jul 30, 2013)

OMD He's here. 

Commandment contd.

I am the lord thy Djod, thou shalt have no other Djods before me.

He who hath an ear, let them hear. Honor thy axe and tremolo, for it is I who hath given unto thee all these great things by the power of the darkness within my pentatonic runs. 

On the 3rd thursdsay of every month, Thou shalt buy thine pentatonic runs dinner before practice. I shall provide thee with time and coin.


HAIL DJOD


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## Rick (Jul 30, 2013)

Idontpersonally said:


> OMD He's here.
> 
> Commandment contd.
> 
> ...



HAIL DJOD


----------



## MetalBuddah (Jul 30, 2013)

If you have joined the facebook page....please comment on the most recent post with your user name.

That is all.

HAIL DJOD


----------



## skeels (Jul 30, 2013)

how the hell did you even pronounce that?


----------



## Xaios (Jul 30, 2013)

According to the American Heritage Dictionary...

j&#335;d


----------



## Veldar (Jul 30, 2013)

Misery Theory said:


> Join the dark side. We don't have noise suppresors and compressors!


 
I'll join if I can still use my compressor on my bass.


----------



## Chuck (Jul 30, 2013)

Veldar said:


> I'll join if I can still use my compressor on my bass.



Sure! Djod doth not deal within the realms of bass. Only guitar and the greater good of metal music.


----------



## flint757 (Jul 30, 2013)

brutalwizard said:


> https://www.facebook.com/pages/DJOD/37173464988
> 
> https://www.facebook.com/pages/DJOD/174209502646527
> 
> I lol'ed





too funny


----------



## Idontpersonally (Jul 30, 2013)

yea theres a djedi with a fb page too actually https://www.facebook.com/DjediBootcamp

Q&A with Djod

_*Djod's son*_: Master, is thine power hidden within the great light or the great darkness?
*
Djod*: Son, let my words be as a light unto thy feet and a lantern upon thy path through the Nega- SSO realm.

_*Djod's son*_: Master.. wait i have one more q-

*Djod*: Swear and confirm that you will keep these righteous ordinances 

_*Djod's son*_: Truly father, The unfolding of your words gives light unto your children. I have sworn and I will confirm it, That I will keep Your righteous ordinances.&#8230;


then he just walked away...like a floating kind of walk....
HAIL DJOD


----------



## Xaios (Jul 30, 2013)

Idontpersonally said:


> yea theres a djedi with a fb page too actually https://www.facebook.com/DjediBootcamp



Global awakening = Watching the skies for tetrahedrons and drinking green slime juice?

Alright folks, we are officially NOT the most crazy religion out there!


----------



## Vostre Roy (Jul 30, 2013)

Xaios said:


> Alright folks, we are officially NOT the most crazy religion out there!



Nope.

We're the freaking *coolest* 

HAIL DJOD!


----------



## Idontpersonally (Jul 30, 2013)

Xaios said:


> Global awakening = Watching the skies for tetrahedrons and drinking green slime juice?
> 
> Alright folks, we are officially NOT the most crazy religion out there!



He may be on to something..










Whos trying it out first? 

Lets get chuck, yea he'll try _anything_


----------



## Chuck (Jul 30, 2013)

Idontpersonally said:


> He may be on to something..
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Nah fu_c_k that shit man. My mom makes those. They smell nasty and in 2 years I have still avoided drinking them.

Chuck: 1
Mom: 0


----------



## Chuck (Jul 30, 2013)

Here is our religious food:


----------



## Vhyle (Jul 30, 2013)

Misery Theory said:


> Nah fu_c_k that shit man. My mom makes those. They smell nasty and in 2 years I have still avoided drinking them.
> 
> Chuck: 1
> Mom: 0



... but it's DJOD DJUICE.


----------



## Chuck (Jul 30, 2013)

No, this is our Djod Djuice:


----------



## Idontpersonally (Jul 30, 2013)

b, but the..the force... it's got a lot of power...




HAILZ



edit** actually lemonade would be the shit for.... [ silenced by Djod. One moment] ok we need an elixir. Grape juice is so 1990's apple juice is kinda meh... yaknow something that just says "Drinkable blood of Djod power"

I just dont wanna get de hydrated in the middle of a ceremony/sacrifice and all.


----------



## Veldar (Jul 30, 2013)

Misery Theory said:


> Sure! Djod doth not deal within the realms of bass. Only guitar and the greater good of metal music.


 
But I'm a bass player by trade, does that mean Djod will not smile upon me when I play my bass? 

It''s a ERB if that helps.


----------



## Veldar (Jul 30, 2013)

Misery Theory said:


> No, this is our Djod Djuice:


 
Mixed with the bood of Misha Mansoor?


----------



## Idontpersonally (Jul 30, 2013)

Edit.. silenced by Djod.
Hailz.


----------



## Chuck (Jul 30, 2013)

Veldar said:


> But I'm a bass player by trade, does that mean Djod will not smile upon me when I play my bass?
> 
> It''s a ERB if that helps.



As long as your music is not djent.


----------



## Chuck (Jul 30, 2013)

Veldar said:


> Mixed with the bood of Misha Mansoor?



Djentar blood


----------



## Kaickul (Jul 30, 2013)

Could anyone also make a Facebook group for Djod?


----------



## Chuck (Jul 30, 2013)

There's a page


----------



## Methdz (Jul 30, 2013)

Here ya go 
https://www.facebook.com/theteachingsofdjod


----------



## Idontpersonally (Jul 30, 2013)

Add both
(follow and reblog on tumblr)
The teachings of Djod



All in favor of a chapter on the Great Light of Djod? For the sake of the Harmony within Our lord and savior. It would go well with the great darkness chapter.

Chosen scribes shall spread the knowledge of Djod. Let his wisdom be sweet unto thy mouth. Yes His words are sweet as honey unto thy lips, and water for those who thirst for him..
He who hath an ear, let them hear. Our sons and daughters will prophesy, The old men will dream dreams, Our young disciples will see visions

HAIL DJOD


----------



## Ocara-Jacob (Jul 30, 2013)

My signature has become a symbol of Djodaism on many levels. 
Scriptures and all that.


----------



## Idontpersonally (Jul 30, 2013)

psalm muting 

That sig is getting re blogged.
The prophets have spoken the prophets have written.

HAIL DJOD

Ill call it The Book of Ocara. "The book of OJ" might scare off a few potentials..


----------



## Xaios (Jul 30, 2013)

You can call mine "The Book of X-odus," detailing my lonely travels on the post-apocalyptic fringes of Nega-SSO in my search of Djod, and my triumphant return to Neo-SSO, bringing the Gospel of Djod with me.

EDIT: You can tell the story of how, when Djod instructed me to subtly tune one noise gate, I went against his will and chained two in my effects loop. He punished me by making me walk in crabcore stance for 40 days and nights.


----------



## Idontpersonally (Jul 30, 2013)

Xaios said:


> You can call mine "The Book of X-odus," detailing my lonely travels on the post-apocalyptic fringes of Nega-SSO in my search of Djod, and my triumphant return to Neo-SSO, bringing the Gospel of Djod with me.
> 
> EDIT: You can tell the story of how, when Djod instructed me to subtly tune one noise gate, I went against his will and chained two in my effects loop. He punished me by making me walk in crabcore stance for 40 days and nights.



Yea i actually went back to salvage the pages that had been locked away. So if is ok with you, Id like to share the story that was almost never told. When it's all done Ill hand it over to you for revision. Pretty sure thats a word.

HAIL DJOD


PS.. i was just doing the crabcore stance to gojira literally a couple mins ago *mind blown*


----------



## Xaios (Jul 31, 2013)

Sounds like a plan.


----------



## Rick (Jul 31, 2013)

HAIL DJOD


----------



## Xaios (Jul 31, 2013)

Alright, Djod Facebook banner v.3, what I believe to be the best so far...


----------



## MetalBuddah (Jul 31, 2013)

^

I have implemented the banner


----------



## sniperfreak223 (Jul 31, 2013)

I'll contribute a gospel if I can find the time to write it out...I'll also work on a few hymns.


----------



## Chuck (Jul 31, 2013)

Good morning and

HAIL DJOD


----------



## Kaickul (Jul 31, 2013)

I'm officially Djod's first pet


----------



## musicaldeath (Jul 31, 2013)

The Herald of Djod commands you! It is the day before the Holy day. Prepare thyselves with country music. For tomorrow, we unleash the TWANG!

Rejoice and Despair!

HAIL DJOD!


----------



## Rick (Jul 31, 2013)

musicaldeath said:


> The Herald of Djod commands you! It is the day before the Holy day. Prepare thyselves with country music. For tomorrow, we unleash the TWANG!
> 
> Rejoice and Despair!
> 
> HAIL DJOD!



HAIL DJOD


----------



## JEngelking (Jul 31, 2013)

Misery Theory said:


> Good morning and
> 
> HAIL DJOD



 I dunno why but I just read that and my first thought after was:

"GOOOOOOD MORNING, VIET-DJOD!"


----------



## straightshreddd (Aug 1, 2013)

Seriously, what the f*ck is this. I wanna know.


----------



## Idontpersonally (Aug 1, 2013)

Brother, be still and know that Ye are on sacred grounds. The way of Djod is a self realization. A return to the beginning. A journey through the sso nega realm. A sacrifice...


_Soon_. So Join us. There will be refreshments, recreational activities for all ages and last but certainly not least, potato sack racing!!!!!









HAIL DJOD!


----------



## straightshreddd (Aug 1, 2013)

No, no, no seriously. I am willing to convert and stuff. I just want someone to briefly step outside the joke and explain what the f*ck it is. I mean, I can see what it's referencing, but... I want to know how Djodism came to be.


----------



## Idontpersonally (Aug 1, 2013)

Dear one, i do not jest with thee. Ye are in the presence of The Almighty Djod. Should ye call upon him with sincerity in thine heart, HE will reveal himself unto thee when ye are ready.

He who hath an ear, let him hear.

http://www.sevenstring.org/forum/of...what-i-did-while-stuck-pre-migration-sso.html


These pics were taken in my bathroom 6 mins after thine inquires. Coincidence? I think it not so. HAIL DJOD. 














BTW thats not dirt. It's the dark form of Djod. Our father may manifest himself in various ways. The more sincerity within thine heart upon conjuration, the more individualized the manifestation. . HAILZ!


----------



## straightshreddd (Aug 1, 2013)

Oh, shit. lol Them n*ggas went hard. haha

Well, I guess I'm down. Do I have to give blood or something?


----------



## Idontpersonally (Aug 1, 2013)

straightshreddd said:


> Oh, shit. lol Them n*ggas went hard. haha
> 
> Well, I guess I'm down. Do I have to give blood or something?




You wouldn't happen to know any virgins that play Djent would you?


----------



## straightshreddd (Aug 1, 2013)

lol Quite a few. 

I'm gonna start my own denomination that follows a code of peace, but still thinks djent is gay for the most part. We will still praise the almighty Djod. 

This denomination is to be known as:


Faptist


----------



## Kaickul (Aug 1, 2013)

I made it official on Facebook, hopefully I don't get into trouble.


----------



## straightshreddd (Aug 1, 2013)

Liquid Rage said:


> I made it official on Facebook, hopefully I don't get into trouble.



As did I







I think I just enjoy how awesome "faptist" sounds.


----------



## musicaldeath (Aug 1, 2013)

Good morning my brethren! It is Thursday! The Herald of Djod demands sacrifices! Luckily for me I am about to go to the gym, where the idiot teenagers lift whilest listening to Djent, and the gym radio plays country. 

_His maw is vast, and unending. Each Thursday, a djentile is to be sacrificed to the sound of twang. This is symbolic in that it it represents his undoing of his own creation and betrayal. One by one, Djod shall strike down those who turned away from the darkness, devouring their souls and sending them unto the void. So it is written, so it shall be._

Rejoice and Despair!

HAIL DJOD!


----------



## Kaickul (Aug 1, 2013)

HAIL DJOD!


----------



## Idontpersonally (Aug 1, 2013)

Hailz brethren. I beseech thee. Follow, like, and re blog the teachings of Djod on face book and tumblr for his wisdom is as water unto those that thirst for him. 

Many are called, few are chosen. Yay, it is written, even unto this morning, a revelation unto those that seeketh him in truth and righteousness. 

"I am the lord thy Djod, the disciple who's sacrifice excelleth far below above and beyond the calling, yay, rejoice and despair for thou art emphatically mine."


For Q&A with Djod be sure to visit The teachings of Djod on tumblr


----------



## Konfyouzd (Aug 1, 2013)

Are those pubes on the table with the spider? Is that how Djod rolls?


----------



## straightshreddd (Aug 1, 2013)

They totally are. Praise Djod.


----------



## Idontpersonally (Aug 1, 2013)

Those arent pubes, theyre coiled strands of our dark lords passion.


----------



## straightshreddd (Aug 1, 2013)

Idontpersonally said:


> Those arent pubes, theyre coiled strands of our dark lords passion.



Oh, my Djod. I seriously think I just died.   hahaha


----------



## Idontpersonally (Aug 1, 2013)

straightshreddd said:


> Oh, my Djod. I seriously think I just died.   hahaha


----------



## Konfyouzd (Aug 1, 2013)




----------



## MetalBuddah (Aug 1, 2013)

HAPPY THURSDAY.

HAIL DJOD


----------



## sniperfreak223 (Aug 1, 2013)

Happy Djodsday and a swift sacrifice to all!!!

HAIL DJOD!!!


----------



## musicaldeath (Aug 1, 2013)

I shit you not, some kid today at the gym dropped a 45lb plate on his foot while Brad Paisley was on the radio. 

HAIL DJOD!


----------



## flint757 (Aug 1, 2013)

musicaldeath said:


> I shit you not, some kid today at the gym dropped a 45lb plate on his foot while Brad Paisley was on the radio.
> 
> HAIL DJOD!



HAIL DJOD!


----------



## Rick (Aug 1, 2013)

HAIL DJOD


----------



## Xaios (Aug 1, 2013)

Okay guys, let's not turn this into the "HAIL DJOD" postcount whoring thread. As much as it's worth saying, they already locked one thread on us.


----------



## musicaldeath (Aug 1, 2013)

Is that why they locked that thread? I am still trying to figure out why my FB post got deleted from there as well. Nothing I said violated any of their rules.


----------



## Xaios (Aug 1, 2013)

musicaldeath said:


> Is that why they locked that thread?



Not specifically, no, but I suspect our leash isn't particularly long. Let's not .... it up.

HAIL DJOD!


----------



## Methdz (Aug 1, 2013)

Konfyouzd said:


> Are those pubes on the table with the spider? Is that how Djod rolls?


----------



## Idontpersonally (Aug 1, 2013)

Methdz said:


>











Xaios said:


> Not specifically, no, but I suspect our leash isn't particularly long. Let's not .... it up.
> 
> HAIL DJOD!



And the Lord sayeth unto his disciples:

"Fear not condemnation nor persecution, for the revolution will not be tweeted, re blogged on tumblr, or liked on facebook.The Revolution will not be digitized. 
The Revolution will be live."


----------



## Jakke (Aug 1, 2013)

I for one, as one of the forum's angry atheists, am happy to get yet another religion to not believe in, and to ridicule the followers of. I am patiently awaiting someone to make the first "tide goes in, tide goes out"-faux pas, and *I will* pounce on it like a starved leopard. It will not be pretty, and I will destroy you. My brain is, to borrow another famous atheist's phrasing, big as a whale's dick, and sharper than a ....ing rapier, so casualties should be expected.


Rejoice in your community djodists... Your fold is safe... For now...


The wolves are drawing closer outside...




Spoiler



Full disclosure, was someone else getting a "Paul of Tarsus-vibe? I might get struck blind and write in your holy book, who knows?


----------



## Xaios (Aug 1, 2013)

Jakke said:


> I for one, as one of the forum's angry djatheists



FTFY.

By the way, Djod has communicated a message to me through a stale-donut induced vision, intended for you. The language he spoke was an old and forgotten language, roughly twice as old as the universe itself, puncuated by disturbing admoninal pain and belching at such a low frequency that your brain loses molecular cohesion. However, I believe a rough translation is "Come at me, bro."


----------



## Pooluke41 (Aug 1, 2013)

Xaios said:


> FTFY.
> 
> By the way, Djod has communicated a message to me through a stale-donut induced vision, intended for you. The language he spoke was an old and forgotten language, roughly twice as old as the universe itself, puncuated by disturbing admoninal pain and belching at such a low frequency that your brain loses molecular cohesion. However, I believe a rough translation is "Come at me, bro."



Well me and Jakob have started the National Socialist Trotskyist-Leninist Proletariat Worker's Party For the Immediate Cessation of Djodist-Imperialist Religious Aggression

Our paramilitary vanguard party for the advancement of the secular proletariat will crush your puny religion!


----------



## Chuck (Aug 1, 2013)

Thoust hath found our Djodess:


----------



## Pooluke41 (Aug 1, 2013)

Disciples of Djod! Beware the uprising of our secular nation!


----------



## Jakke (Aug 1, 2013)

As my esteemed comrade Pooluke41 wisely has pointed out, this is now forbidden imperialist decadence, and anyone caught in the act of worshipping this "Djod" will be executed post haste. The glorious NSTLPWPFICDIRA has in its wisdom put together a release, which is mandatory to print out and display visibly somewhere in the quarters where you live. Failure to comply is punishable by twelve lashes.

"Comrades and allies to the revolution!

It has come to the Central Committee's attention that a a new, and especially vile poison is seeping into the hearts and minds of our young revolutionaries. This so-called "djodism" is has been more and more frequently sighted in public areas of our esteemed motherland, and the Central Committee has in its wisdom decided this activity to be counter-revolutionary, and a threat to our noble Motherland. 
As of today, "Djodism" and all related religious activites are now *banned*, and disobeying this directive is punishable by execution. No mercy will be spared this disease of our Motherland's spirit, and no leniency will be afforded those caught with banned objects, or caught performing cermonies relating to, or glorifying "Djodism". The Central Committee defines these banned objects* as:
a) Objects depicting religious symbols directly or indirectly related to "Djodism"
b) Objects, books, or recordings depicting, or describing worship of "Djod", or discussing "Djodism" in any way, shape, or form.
c) Holidays related to "Djodism", names derived from "Djodist" mythology, and songs relating to, or being directly from "Djodism".

*Questionable objects not obviously placed in either of these three categories will be subject to arbitration at the discretion of the Central Committee.

Owners of objects deemed to fit into any of these three categories will be afforded a period of one standard week (seven standard days) after the posting of this notice to leave said objects for destruction at the closest Party Office. Any objects arriving after this set last date will be considered contraband, and the owner of said object will be subject to full punishment for crimes against the Motherland.

Any suspect "Djodist" counter-revolutionary activities must be reported to the closest Party Office, and negligence to do so will be considered aiding and abetting the enemy, a crime punishable by execution. Any information that leads to capture of counter-revolutionaries will be subject to review by the Board for Proletariat Initiatives, and this review might, at the discretion of the esteemed Board, find that a reward is deserved.

Questions regarding this directive shall be directed at the closest party officer.

*All hail the glorious Revolution! All hail the Motherland!*"


----------



## sniperfreak223 (Aug 1, 2013)

^history should show you that communism and brutal dictatorships always end in failure. Djod is with us, and we shall not taste of defeat, but bathe in the glory of victory in the name of our dark lord. The Djihad has begun, and we will not back down until all who oppose us are crushed.

HAIL DJOD!


----------



## M3CHK1LLA (Aug 1, 2013)

straightshreddd said:


> Seriously, what the f*ck is this. I wanna know.










> Word - Djod
> 
> Definition
> 
> ...





> Example
> 
> "The Might Djod is the Lord of the Guitar Universe! All Hail Djod!"
> 
> "Oh my Djod, he can really play that Agile 727!"




Urban Dictionary: djod


here are some that ppl posted for djent 

Urban Dictionary: djent


----------



## Pooluke41 (Aug 1, 2013)

sniperfreak223 said:


> ^history should show you that communism and brutal dictatorships always end in failure. Djod is with us, and we shall not taste of defeat, but bathe in the glory of victory in the name of our dark lord. The Djihad has begun, and we will not back down until all who oppose us are crushed.
> 
> HAIL DJOD!



We shall start to assimilate your lands, your homes, your women, your children and your people until you are no more than a speck of dust compared to the vast empire under our party's control.

You are no more than a cog in the clockwork empire known as the NSTLPWPFICDIR.

Fear our secular party!

Fear us!

Fear the NSTLPWPFICDIR!


----------



## bhakan (Aug 1, 2013)

Where does one enlist in the NSTLPWPFICDIR? I wish to provide my services and aid the Motherland. We must eliminate the plague upon our land that is djodism!


----------



## sniperfreak223 (Aug 1, 2013)

we will not back down, we will not retreat, we will never surrender, and we will not fail. We fear nothing, for Djod is with us, and with Djod on our side, we will never taste of defeat. In the face of death, we will stand strong.


----------



## musicaldeath (Aug 1, 2013)

Fear not the communist dogs. Their lack of belief shall be their undoing. Djod has faced a thousand betrayals. The likes of these shall not stop us from executing his dark designs!

HAIL DJOD!


----------



## will_shred (Aug 1, 2013)

If I were to gain the favor the almighty djod, what would I have to do?


----------



## Idontpersonally (Aug 1, 2013)

*Based Djod task force reporting in. We have a few turds in the punch bowl, I repeat, there are a few turds in the punch bowl. Party on. Over and out*


will_shred said:


> If I were to gain the favor the almighty djod, what would I have to do?


Serve him in truth and righteousness. If thou art found to be persecuted for the sake of Djod, thou art truly blessed. 
Thus saith the Lord,"Party on, my sons".

A word from Djod Unto the brethren:
"Blessed are the music makers for they shall be called sons of Djod. Blessed are those who have been persecuted for the sake of non djent metal, for theirs is the kingdom of the SSO Nega Realm. Rejoice and despair. Hail Djod.


----------



## M3CHK1LLA (Aug 1, 2013)

will_shred said:


> If I were to gain the favor the almighty djod, what would I have to do?



send me money, send me green, great djod you will meet...

...make a contribution and you'll get a 7 striiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!!!


----------



## The Reverend (Aug 2, 2013)

Every Back Will Break For Djod, _Or_ How One Man Learned To Say .... It

In the winter, silence dies. The chirping of birds, the chattering of squirrels, even the breathy grunt of the occasional deer disappears into the landscape, swallowed by the blanket of snow. Footsteps crunch before being muffled, and the heavy breaths of a man traveling through the whiteness are heard only by him.

Miles ahead of him is a small town, based around a trading depot next to a glacier-fed river. It is this town the man is traveling to. On his back is a heavy pack of furs from the animals he's trapped, raccoon and rabbit, with deer hides he hoped would fetch him a nice price. He follows a trail he knows so well that the two feet of snow don't bother him. Each tree, hill, and clearing is as familiar to him as it would be in the spring, with the path muddy from the melting snow.

He smiles, thinking of the little doll he means to buy his daughter if he can spare the coin. It had been a rough winter, with the loss of his wife hitting at the same time as a ferocious blizzard. All around his small cabin were the explosions of trees, flash-frozen and no longer able to withstand the wind that howled off the mountain. Inside his cabin, the cold seeped in through windows and cracks in the door frame, and finally came to rest in his wife. Her temperature dropped, and no matter how many shawls and furs he covered her with, she wouldn't warm up. He had yet to bury her, the ground too solid to dig a grave in.

Once the sun is highest in the sky, he stops to eat. Heaving his pack to the ground, he collapses onto it, digging in his outer pocket for a bit of the smoked venison he brought with him. In the harsh cold, he can barely taste it, but hunger drives him to devour it with impressive speed. Traversing through the deep snows is no easy task, and he knows he needs his energy.

Hours later, the sun has lost some of its bright clarity for a more golden, somber hue. It beams what little warmth it has to offer to the world, and the man slows his pace to savor it. Small things can mean so much in the cold. He slaps his cheeks, then bows his head again, intent on making the best time he can. 

---------

The town is empty. Fires still burn in fireplaces, beer is still warm in mugs, and food sits on plates in the tavern. The man glances around quickly before snatching a few biscuits and putting them in his pockets. He blushes, aware of how ridiculous it is that he be worried about stealing when a whole town has vanished. As he sips on someone's ale, he has an brilliant idea. If the people of the village had left, he'd be able to track them by the prints they'd leave in the snow. He drops the mug, shattering the clay.

Outside, he sees something bizarre. Every doorway has a neat line of tracks that converge in what passes for a street, leading out towards the river side of the town. He pulls his mittens back on, then slowly starts walking in that direction. The sun is even lower now, barely shining its rays over the peaks of the mountain range. In minutes he finds the river rushing, on to lands he'll never see and has never heard of, unaware of the sight that brings the man to his knees beside it. 

Three dozen people stand in a perfect matrix before him. Their heads are bowed, backs bent at right angles somewhere just above the navel. A droning, buzzing sound escapes from their slack mouths, rattling occasionally as drops of spittle and blood shoot out. Pools of blood surround their feet, forming into a red river that burns valleys through the snow, sending up mist. A rogue wind sends it his way, and the man retches at the overwhelming gust of blood and rot washes over him. 

Black ooze starts to leak from his eyes. He feels some sort of pressure on his torso, pulling him to his feet, twisting his to the north. Some part of him, the part that is savage and true in all men, screams at him to shut his eyes, echoes in his mind that he must not see whatever it is that lies in the north. Just as he almost manages to squeeze his eyes shut, to block out the horrid mystery, his pupils dilate and constrict, focusing on the last image he would ever see.

His back thrusts forward. Ribs crackle and pop as the pressure holding him force him to bow, kidneys rupture and his lungs collapse, body fluids escaping the invisible grasp through his mouth. In the last moment, he thinks of his daughter, of his wife, of the doll he had hoped to buy, and whispers, "Lalelilulo Djod."

FINIS


----------



## Idontpersonally (Aug 2, 2013)

They will be truly missed. Please everyone. A Moment of silence.


----------



## Pooluke41 (Aug 2, 2013)

bhakan said:


> Where does one enlist in the NSTLPWPFICDIR? I wish to provide my services and aid the Motherland. We must eliminate the plague upon our land that is djodism!



Just wear a cool hat.

yeah that's right, we're the guys with the cool hats.






holy sh*t! fancy as heeeeell.

and use our cool sig banner (which totally beat's Xaios')


----------



## Idontpersonally (Aug 2, 2013)




----------



## Pooluke41 (Aug 2, 2013)

This gif says otherwise


----------



## MetalBuddah (Aug 2, 2013)

Is it just me or is NSTLPWPFICDIRA the worst acronym ever?


You fools shall not win.

HAIL DJOD


----------



## Konfyouzd (Aug 2, 2013)

What the funk? Let's stomp this _....._ out...


----------



## Konfyouzd (Aug 2, 2013)

MetalBuddah said:


> Is it just me or is NSTLPWPFICDIRA the worst acronym ever?
> 
> 
> You fools shall not win.
> ...



Ever? Yes...


----------



## Pooluke41 (Aug 2, 2013)

MetalBuddah said:


> Is it just me or is NSTLPWPFICDIRA the worst acronym ever?
> 
> 
> You fools shall not win.
> ...



We lull you into a false sense of security.

then blammo!

you're in our reeducation gulag.


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## Konfyouzd (Aug 2, 2013)

Re-educate these...


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## Pooluke41 (Aug 2, 2013)

I just did.


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## Fiction (Aug 2, 2013)

No you didn't, thats a stock image!

Hey everybody, this guy is a cheater.. lets get him!


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## Pooluke41 (Aug 2, 2013)

Fiction said:


> No you didn't, thats a stock image!
> 
> Hey everybody, this guy is a cheater.. lets get him!



you're supposed to be on my side!


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## Fiction (Aug 2, 2013)

I don't know where I stand right now, I need time..alone..my heart says go with Djod, yet my brain tells me to stick with NSTLPWPFICDIRA.


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## Pooluke41 (Aug 2, 2013)

Fiction said:


> I don't know where I stand right now, I need time..alone..my heart says go with Djod, yet my brain tells me to stick with NSTLPWPFICDIRA.



Just remember who got you out of that contract with Chairman Mao.

that's right..




me.


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## Sicarius (Aug 2, 2013)

I think the Tumblr is what killed the joke.


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## MetalBuddah (Aug 2, 2013)

Fiction said:


> I don't know where I stand right now, I need time..alone..my heart says go with Djod, yet my brain tells me to stick with NSTLPWPFICDIRA.


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## Konfyouzd (Aug 2, 2013)




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## Kaickul (Aug 2, 2013)

HAIL DJOD! DJOD 4 LIFE!


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## sniperfreak223 (Aug 2, 2013)

Pooluke41 said:


> Just wear a cool hat.
> 
> yeah that's right, we're the guys with the cool hats.
> 
> ...



Oh, and the red stars make a convenient target that marks the location of the "apricot" when shooting downhill. Don't believe me, ask Simo Hayha, Mattias Hetzenauer and Sepp Alleberger.


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## sniperfreak223 (Aug 2, 2013)

"A threat shall arise from the East, out of the dark and frigid North. A counter-religion, blinded to the truth of Djod, shall take up arms against Him, luring followers in with the promises of unity, cool hats and flashy red sig banners. They shall wage a war to destroy the followers of Djod."

"But fear not, my disciples, for their way is the way of lies. Their beliefs are flawed, and their defiance has cast them away from the glory of Djod. Persecution will come upon thee, but it shall pass. For Djod is the one true way, and all that follow him shall never taste of defeat, but bask in the victorious glory of Djod. Do not give in to the promises of these false prophets, for their promises are as empty as their souls. Stay true to our dark Lord, my brethren, and this threat will be crushed with the terrible, swift fury of a thousand tsunamis. For it is written that Djod shall not allow harm to come to any who defend his name. The revolution shall fall, and the Djodists shall prevail."

HAIL DJOD!!!


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## flint757 (Aug 2, 2013)

sniperfreak223 said:


> "A threat shall arise from the East, out of the dark and frigid North. A counter-religion, blinded to the truth of Djod, shall take up arms against Him, luring followers in with the promises of unity, cool hats and flashy red sig banners. They shall wage a war to destroy the followers of Djod."
> 
> "But fear not, my disciples, for their way is the way of lies. Their beliefs are flawed, and their defiance has cast them away from the glory of Djod. Persecution will come upon thee, but it shall pass. For Djod is the one true way, and all that follow him shall never taste of defeat, but bask in the victorious glory of Djod. Do not give in to the promises of these false prophets, for their promises are as empty as their souls. Stay true to our dark Lord, my brethren, and this threat will be crushed with the terrible, swift fury of a thousand tsunamis. For it is written that Djod shall not allow harm to come to any who defend his name. The revolution shall fall, and the Djodists shall prevail."
> 
> HAIL DJOD!!!



This prophesy came true.


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## Xaios (Aug 2, 2013)

Pooluke41 said:


> and use our cool sig banner (which totally beat's Xaios')



Oh, pfft. Ours have glowy bits. You can't possibly compete with that.


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## Pooluke41 (Aug 2, 2013)

Xaios said:


> Oh, pfft. Ours have glowy bits. You can't possibly compete with that.



glowy bits are a tool of the bourgeois!


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## sniperfreak223 (Aug 2, 2013)

and red stars are a target for enemy snipers


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## Xaios (Aug 2, 2013)

Pooluke41 said:


> glowy bits are a tool of the bourgeois!



Glowy bits are a sign of Djod's power. Only things with god-given power have glowy bits. Everyone knows that. But you NSTLPWPFICDIRAs have corrupted the education of our youth, to teach them LIES! You've taken Djod out of our schools, and then wonder why the world's gone to hell?


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## M3CHK1LLA (Aug 2, 2013)

*+*



*=*


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## Rick (Aug 2, 2013)

Have you people really started a fake internet holy war?


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## JEngelking (Aug 2, 2013)

Maybe...


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## sniperfreak223 (Aug 2, 2013)

Rick said:


> Have you people really started a fake internet holy war?



Indeed we have...


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## Pooluke41 (Aug 2, 2013)

Rick said:


> Have you people really started a fake internet holy war?



It is a war on the backwards people of Djod!


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## flint757 (Aug 2, 2013)

Djesus that picture is large.


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## Pooluke41 (Aug 2, 2013)

It's symbolic of how large NSTLPWPFICDIRA member's members are.


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## Idontpersonally (Aug 2, 2013)

Rick said:


> Have you people really started a fake internet holy war?


Nothing fake a bout Djod. Just sayin'.


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## Konfyouzd (Aug 2, 2013)

I say we stomp this dude out...


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## Idontpersonally (Aug 2, 2013)

Well look what we have here







Djod is wisdom and the more you know


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## Chuck (Aug 2, 2013)

You know those anti-djodists are annoying me... Get out of my thread you wankers.


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## Sicarius (Aug 2, 2013)

Eh, it's probably for the best that all Djod related posts be put into a central location.

We can't have our "Djihad" corrupting the whole site.


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## Chuck (Aug 2, 2013)

Sicarius said:


> Eh, it's probably for the best that all Djod related posts be put into a central location.
> 
> We can't have our "Djihad" corrupting the whole site.



Did you read what I said?

Seriously, gtfo


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## Sicarius (Aug 2, 2013)

Well, since you put it nicely.

DEATH TO DJOD.


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## Pooluke41 (Aug 2, 2013)




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## Vhyle (Aug 2, 2013)

I fear the beckoning of Djod's Call will bring forth a limitless front of fearless soldiers, to present the utmost quickest death to the nonbelievers. May the ferocity of black metal riffs line the battlefield as the blood is spilled across the Holy Land!


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## Idontpersonally (Aug 2, 2013)

Unlike your kind, if there's something we dont believe in, we don't start wars against it, we hold our peace, hail in peace and play what makes us happy. HAIL DJOD.


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## UV7BK4LIFE (Aug 2, 2013)

Since I'm agnostic, I will not join this Djod thing, but you can't kill something that has no proven existence, so joining the 14 letter acronym clan makes no sense either...


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## Sicarius (Aug 2, 2013)

This is SSO, when has sense mattered?


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## Idontpersonally (Aug 2, 2013)

^I liked it better before you edited. Anyway, we're not going to let a little thing like sense get in the way of our worship. Let's not get crazy here. This is not about hearing some audible voices inside our heads. When we speak the word of Djod we're referring to the forgotten language. A coherence of the heart. Thus we don't provoke wars with djentiles as that would lead to a war within our own selves. This is against Djod. We do not rise against opposition, instead we ignore the foolish mockings and failed attempts to "defeat" us. Like our father, we are as the waters. It is our reunion with Self and Djod that gives us our wisdom and power. The power to resist offering any one or more F*'s to the nonbelievers. HAIL DJOD.


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## UV7BK4LIFE (Aug 2, 2013)

Idontpersonally said:


> ^I liked it better before you edited. Anyway, we're not going to let a little thing like sense get in the way of our worship. Let's not get crazy here.


 
I hear ya.


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## Sicarius (Aug 2, 2013)

Idontpersonally said:


> ^I liked it better before you edited. Anyway, we're not going to let a little thing like sense get in the way of our worship. Let's not get crazy here.


It didn't sound right at first :/


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## Pooluke41 (Aug 2, 2013)

brutalwizard said:


> I believe in equal happiness, and if djent makes folks happy I must oppose the the followers of djod.



Another one joins our ever growing ranks.

Our party grows stronger as the days go by!


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## UV7BK4LIFE (Aug 2, 2013)

Where can I find the 14 letter acronym explained? Can't find it anywhere...


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## Idontpersonally (Aug 2, 2013)

Sicarius said:


> It didn't sound right at first :/




Nothing i _ever _type sounds right at first. I always try to proof read from another[smarter] persons perspective until i eventually just say f* it. If it goes ignored i head to amazon for new reading material


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## flint757 (Aug 2, 2013)

Pooluke41 said:


> Well me and Jakob have started the *National Socialist Trotskyist-Leninist Proletariat Worker's Party For the Immediate Cessation of Djodist-Imperialist Religious Aggression*
> 
> Our paramilitary vanguard party for the advancement of the secular proletariat will crush your puny religion!





UV7BK4LIFE said:


> Where can I find the 14 letter acronym explained? Can't find it anywhere...



Here it is.


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## Vhyle (Aug 2, 2013)

flint757 said:


> Here it is.



Such djinfidels! THEY MUST BE BURNINATED.


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## Sicarius (Aug 2, 2013)

I prefer UberDjod.


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## Chuck (Aug 2, 2013)

Djent is just like Christianity. Makes some people happy, makes others angry, and some are indifferent. 

But in the end it is a evil


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## redstone (Aug 2, 2013)

My Djord, I believe you're real because your name's cool and intimidating and kinda familiar.

It's human duty to remain stupid and unaware of one's ignorance in honor of your creation. Critical thinking isn't natural and an insulting behavior. Pretentiousness is the virtue.

You sent us to assail the sinners with our faithful circular reasonings. Circular reasonings are your infinite logic and the proof that you exist.


HAIL DJOD


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## Chuck (Aug 3, 2013)

This is going goodbye


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## flint757 (Aug 3, 2013)

redstone said:


> My Djord, I believe you're real because your name's cool and intimidating and kinda familiar.
> 
> It's human duty to remain stupid and unaware of one's ignorance in honor of your creation. Critical thinking isn't natural and an insulting behavior. Pretentiousness is the virtue.
> 
> ...


 
Lets keep the blatantly obvious indirect bashing to a minimum. This is meant to be fun/funny and *to spread the word of Djod.   *

We can accomplish similar goals without being obvious about it lest we risk the thread closing and I _REALLY_ want it to stay open.

HAIL DJOD!


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## Idontpersonally (Aug 3, 2013)

redstone said:


> My Djord, I believe you're real because your name's cool and intimidating and kinda familiar.
> 
> It's human duty to remain stupid and unaware of one's ignorance in honor of your creation. Critical thinking isn't natural and an insulting behavior. Pretentiousness is the virtue.
> 
> ...


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## M3CHK1LLA (Aug 3, 2013)




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## Idontpersonally (Aug 3, 2013)

Thus saith the lord thy Djod. He that hath an ear, let him hear. Rejoice and despair, for soon shall the weak be made strong and the broken made whole. Behold, I giveth unto the SSO Nega verse, my own beloved Son. In him I am well pleased.  I and my son are one. We cometh suddenly, when thou shalt least expect. Thuse saith the Lord, The cry of every Disciple and djentile, every man and woman, young and old, Djathiest and Djihadist alike should be "come quickly Lord Djod".  HAIL DJOD.


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## Robby the Robot (Aug 3, 2013)




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## Robby the Robot (Aug 3, 2013)

And upon further review....







You all can hate me now. 

-The President


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## The Reverend (Aug 3, 2013)

My feelings are hurt that only a few people enjoyed my contribution to the Holy Book of Djod a few pages back. Y'all know how to hurt a man's feelings, you feel me?


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## Idontpersonally (Aug 3, 2013)

The Reverend said:


> My feelings are hurt that only a few people enjoyed my contribution to the Holy Book of Djod a few pages back. Y'all know how to hurt a man's feelings, you feel me?



They shouldnt be. In due time, your book will touch the hearts and minds of every djodist and future djodists alike. Always be sure to follow like and reblog the holy texts on tumblr where the scriptures are being preserved for safe keeping. I meant to ask you If you were ok with having three "The's" in the title of your book. I figured you wouldn't mind. Also, how does the Blood and winter chapter sound?

The teachings of Djod



EDIT****wait a min, on second thought ....!, how do you think i felt when no one came to my silverchair party?? Like shit!!!!!!!!    


I totally forgot to rant about that
k now i feel better. HAIL DJOD.


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## M3CHK1LLA (Aug 3, 2013)




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## The Reverend (Aug 3, 2013)

Idontpersonally said:


> They shouldnt be. In due time, your book will touch the hearts and minds of every djodist and future djodists alike. Always be sure to follow like and reblog the holy texts on tumblr where the scriptures are being preserved for safe keeping. I meant to ask you If you were ok with having three "The's" in the title of your book. I figured you wouldn't mind. Also, how does the Blood and winter chapter sound?
> 
> The teachings of Djod



Blood and Winter works just fine.


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## M3CHK1LLA (Aug 3, 2013)

The Reverend said:


> My feelings are hurt that only a few people enjoyed my contribution to the Holy Book of Djod a few pages back. Y'all know how to hurt a man's feelings, you feel me?


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## Idontpersonally (Aug 3, 2013)

I think SSO Nega verse is taking on a whole new meaning. This is why we cant have nice things..Not cool dude


flint757 said:


> This prophesy came true.


Twice, review our lords dissertation on the revolution. Page 8



*skips off with basket of fresh picked flowers for Djod*. HAILZ


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## M3CHK1LLA (Aug 3, 2013)

Idontpersonally said:


> I think SSO Nega verse is taking on a whole new meaning. This is why we cant have nice things..Not cool dude


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## Xaios (Aug 3, 2013)

Fellow Djodians, our beliefs, nay our very way of life, are assailed from all sides. But fear not, for Djod does provide. He hath instructed me in a vision to create a new front line of defense against the heathen hordes...


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## Idontpersonally (Aug 3, 2013)

That's a good idea, i wasnt sure who was on whos side there for a min. 

Pretty sure i heard Djod up in this piece a few times....
And yea F* heathens. Talk is cheap, Lets do this shit. *cracks knuckles* Hail Djod.





Edit**


Misery Theory said:


> Thoust hath found our Djodess:




I'll raise you a Sara Fabel. In all her splendor and wondrous glory. HAIL THE DJODESS!


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## Fiction (Aug 3, 2013)

Idontpersonally, you need a break from djod. You're becoming one of those guys that stop casual dudes to hand them a pamphlet and inform them of their impending doom.


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## Idontpersonally (Aug 3, 2013)

Is that why we cant have nice things? I thought that had been established already around page 3 . A been there done that got a t shirt kind of thing..


As a brother in Djod, You can Just call me "the messenger". Thus saith the lord. The study of his wisdom is to know thine own self. Within this Knowledge, yay, even unto the unmanifest, is our power within him and within the brethren.

I have, however taken unto consideration the words of thee. You guys hang out with Djod for a while, I'll be heading over to the Djodess' realm for a nice relaxing weekend vacation and some R&R eth. Wouldnt want to cramp up in the pit and all eth. If you guys need me, you know what to do, but we all know how this story ends, for it was written in the book of X-odus " fear not, for Djod doth provide. " Thus saith our dark Lord and Savior.. HAIL DJOD. HAIL DJODESS. The absoulte, the Pure and Formless ground of being from which the creation and manifestation of the SSO Nega Realm doth arise and conquer!! As such, The Holy Order of the Knights Djemplar, The causeless victory,the unmanifested is free from change, the unmoved mover. HAIL DJOD. HAIL DJODESS.


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