# I'm not sure any of you are ready for this...



## DLG (Dec 2, 2011)




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## Marv Attaxx (Dec 2, 2011)

...the fuck?


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## AngelVivaldi (Dec 2, 2011)

it's TITS MCGEE!


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## Adam Of Angels (Dec 2, 2011)

...


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## TimSE (Dec 2, 2011)




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## SirMyghin (Dec 2, 2011)

I don't think I could ever be ready for that video. Still better than the 'progressive metal' that happens around here most of the time


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## MikeH (Dec 2, 2011)

I feel like King Arthur's wife is a porn star...


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## Blind Theory (Dec 2, 2011)

Aside from the fat chick all the girls were HOT! But yeah...what the fuck?


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## Randy (Dec 2, 2011)

I definitely was not prepared for this.


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## Randy (Dec 2, 2011)

Also, troyguitar's new band?


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## Double A (Dec 2, 2011)

Randy said:


> Also, troyguitar's new band?


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## M3CHK1LLA (Dec 2, 2011)

...the newest new wave of british semi brutals heavy metals?

NNWOBSBHM...........IS HERE!


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## JoeyBTL (Dec 2, 2011)

MikeH said:


> I feel like King Arthur's wife is a porn star...



I feel like the first minute of the video is just the intro to a shitty porno on Cinemax.


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## Randy (Dec 2, 2011)

Morgana


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## synrgy (Dec 2, 2011)

I'd like to know how you intend to return those 5 minutes and 8 seconds back to me, Sir..


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## Customisbetter (Dec 2, 2011)

You can hear the kick pedal squeak.


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## Randy (Dec 2, 2011)

MikeH said:


>



On more than on occasion, I've been in an intense discussion with musicians and we'll talk about tapping and I'm like "Dude, ever check out that guy who plays those crazy 8-finger tapping licks on two guitars? I think his name's Kacey Jordan. You should google him sometime. Crazy stuff"


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## ilyti (Dec 2, 2011)

I made it to the 2:00 mark. I was expecting epic power metal after that hilarious intro, but WHAT WAS THAT MUSIC? You can't mix boring late 70s punk with frickin' King Arthur. Seriously. What?


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## m3l-mrq3z (Dec 2, 2011)

And I thought Rhapsody made the worst videos.


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## vampiregenocide (Dec 2, 2011)

Quality acting right there.


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## Dan_Vacant (Dec 2, 2011)

It made me want to go listen to Die Die my Darling by the Misfits it sounded like it for a few seconds.


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## Static (Dec 2, 2011)




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## ilyti (Dec 2, 2011)

m3l-mrq3z said:


> And I thought Rhapsody made the worst videos.


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## Manticore (Dec 2, 2011)

that was as dumb as cat shit


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## Necris (Dec 2, 2011)

I like how the person (druid?) "shooting" arrows has a very obviously modern bow.


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## PostOrganic (Dec 2, 2011)

ilyti said:


> I made it to the 2:00 mark. I was expecting epic power metal after that hilarious intro, but WHAT WAS THAT MUSIC? You can't mix boring late 70s punk with frickin' King Arthur. Seriously. What?



Exactly. I was waiting for the cheeeese power metal to kick in. What the fuuucckk.


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## lobee (Dec 2, 2011)

Cute angel wings, brah.


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## Scruffy1012 (Dec 2, 2011)

Shonos ?


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## Zer01 (Dec 3, 2011)

I can't tell if this is a joke or RE-AL-UH-TEE.


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## Diggy (Dec 3, 2011)

ilyti said:


>




medieval metal.. I hope they were not serious


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## SenorDingDong (Dec 3, 2011)

I smell best of 2012


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## piggins411 (Dec 3, 2011)

I really hate people sometimes


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## spattergrind (Dec 3, 2011)

2:16 

this song is totally .gif worthy.


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## -42- (Dec 3, 2011)

*watched first two minutes expecting porn

*thoroughly disappointed when the band started playing


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## groph (Dec 3, 2011)

Blind Theory said:


> Aside from the fat chick all the girls were HOT! But yeah...what the fuck?



I didn't notice any fat chicks.


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## -42- (Dec 3, 2011)

Let us take time to remember the greatest fight sequence in music video history:


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## craigny (Dec 3, 2011)

That's great...epic funny


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## Reynolds666 (Dec 3, 2011)

Only thing wrong with it is that the band needs to dress up a bit more


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## Mordecai (Dec 3, 2011)

DLG said:


>




roughly 200% sure this was filmed at squires castle.


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## The McThief (Dec 3, 2011)

Looks like someone has musically out-trolled Emmure finally.

And who's Arthur's wife? me gusta.


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## Alimination (Dec 3, 2011)

m3l-mrq3z said:


> And I thought Rhapsody made the worst videos.



Dude! what you talkin about?



nothin more metal and epic then singing on train tracks while shooting footage's of little girls in leather jackets!


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## ZEBOV (Dec 4, 2011)

This isn't nearly as bad as I was expecting. While I couldn't force myself to listen to all of it, it's much easier to listen to than Emmure.


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## Don Vito (Dec 4, 2011)

-42- said:


> Let us take time to remember the greatest fight sequence in music video history:



Saw them twice this past year.

Epic.

And to the OP: lol I saw that on Kotaku a day or two ago


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## eventhetrees (Dec 4, 2011)

Is this real life?


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## Mr. Big Noodles (Dec 4, 2011)

Oh, shit, I have to show this to my girlfriend. 

At least it's better than Christopher Lee's Arthurian "power metal' output.



After his stint with Rhapsody, I was expecting so much more from that album. Alas.


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## RevDrucifer (Dec 4, 2011)

I'm definitely not ready...


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## ShadyDavey (Dec 4, 2011)

I liked the knorks.

The rest?

No. I was not prepared. I may have to go lie down to recover


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## Dayn (Dec 4, 2011)

I should have believed Illidan to begin with...


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## shanejohnson02 (Dec 4, 2011)

I'm always prepared!! Bring it!






**watches video**





























.....nnot...not sure...what just....OH MY GOD MY BRAIN!!!


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## Tomo009 (Dec 4, 2011)

I thought I was ready. I was not ready.


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## Floppystrings (Dec 4, 2011)

I present to you all the most annoying band that you have ever seen:


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## Quantumface (Dec 4, 2011)

i feel sorry for these dad's kids.

"LOL I SAW UR DADZ MUSIC VIDEO LAST NIGHT, TIMMY"

timmy: "fml."


On another note, where is the orchestration from the intro jacked from? its so god damn famalier.


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## Quantumface (Dec 4, 2011)

Floppystrings said:


> I present to you all the most annoying band that you have ever seen:


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## Dimensionless (Dec 4, 2011)

dope


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## Marv Attaxx (Dec 4, 2011)

Big Booty Bitches


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## ilyti (Dec 4, 2011)

Floppystrings said:


> I present to you all the most annoying band that you have ever seen:




Exact same hair as that one dude on Pimp My Ride.


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## VILARIKA (Dec 4, 2011)

The only way to know if a band is actually good or not is if you see them live...

This ones, the king, that never, WWWAASSS!


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## Sephiroth952 (Dec 4, 2011)

VILARIKA said:


> The only way to know if a band is actually good or not is if you see them live...
> 
> This ones, the king, that never, WWWAASSS!



Well....atleast they can play their song....


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## Don Vito (Dec 4, 2011)

Floppystrings said:


> I present to you all the most annoying band that you have ever seen:



That has got to be the worst bass tone I've ever heard in my life.


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## MetalMike04 (Dec 5, 2011)

slamming brutal gutteral death metal?


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## M3CHK1LLA (Dec 5, 2011)

this is turning into who's found the worst band video thread....well i dont think anyones ready for this either...


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## VILARIKA (Dec 5, 2011)

I couldn't help but post this, the guitar solo was just....wow.


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## Metal_Webb (Dec 5, 2011)

Floppystrings said:


> I present to you all the most annoying band that you have ever seen:





Sounds like they scooped everything...mids, the bottom of the song pool.....that tub of hair gel..


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## Djent246 (Dec 5, 2011)

Fuckin' Br00tal!


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## JStraitiff (Dec 5, 2011)

what the fuck was that?


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## shanejohnson02 (Dec 5, 2011)

edit: nevermind.


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## Stealth7 (Dec 5, 2011)




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## Go To Bed Jessica (Dec 5, 2011)

VILARIKA said:


> I couldn't help but post this, the guitar solo was just....wow.




The vocalist's entrance at 0:52 is one of the funniest things I have seen in ages. If I knew how to make gifs, I would make a gif of that.


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## ShadowFactoryX (Dec 5, 2011)

lol that was great
needs moar low cut leather tops though


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## DLG (Dec 5, 2011)




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## Metal_Webb (Dec 5, 2011)

Go To Bed Jessica said:


> The vocalist's entrance at 0:52 is one of the funniest things I have seen in ages. If I knew how to make gifs, I would make a gif of that.




Have a gif:






(Yes i am aware my frame sizing was over the place. I was in a rush before work lol)


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## Sephiroth952 (Dec 5, 2011)

This made it on to Attack of the Show. XD


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## Blood Ghost (Dec 6, 2011)

I was not prepared. Also, I was kind of in between this;






And this.








Metal_Webb said:


>



I Zach Galifianakis wheezed.


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## revclay (Dec 6, 2011)

I turned off good music to watch that train wreck. Big mistake. It did deliver the lulz, but I still want that 5:08 of my life back.


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## Prydogga (Dec 6, 2011)

So much laughter at everything in here.


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## Metal_Webb (Dec 6, 2011)

Somehow, I think this thread is going to be moved to off topic soon.
And it'd be a real shame if someone made an exploitable .gif out of these guy's stuff...


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## LudoCluedo (Dec 6, 2011)

Metal_Webb said:


> Somehow, I think this thread is going to be moved to off topic soon.
> And it'd be a real shame if someone made an exploitable .gif out of these guy's stuff...



Not gonna lie, I thought I had stumbled into "off topic" by accident...


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## VILARIKA (Dec 6, 2011)

I hope this doesn't die, I have gotten some good laughs out of this.


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## Blood Ghost (Dec 6, 2011)

Death metal freejazz.


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## Trotsk (Dec 6, 2011)




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## M3CHK1LLA (Dec 7, 2011)

Sephiroth952 said:


> This made it on to Attack of the Show. XD


link pls...


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## DLG (Dec 7, 2011)

we major!

The Most Epically Awful Videos of 2011: Even Worse Than Rebecca Black | Video Ga Ga (NEW) - Yahoo! Music


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## M3CHK1LLA (Dec 7, 2011)

> *Alternate Reality - "The King That Never Was"
> Do not attempt to adjust your computer monitor. Do not assume that the video you are about to see is the result of some egg-nog-induced fog. Deluded Cleveland metal band Alternate Reality really did shoot an ambitious video about, according to lead singer Steve Delchin, "the legend of King Arthur and his quest for the Kingdom of Metal." The result is a video not even the most diehard Dungeons & Dragons enthusiast or Comic-Con season-pass-holder could appreciate or sit through more than once. Actually, if this video were intended to be ironic, we would say it was the most genius video of all time. Ditto if it were a video by Spinal Tap, Tenacious D, or Bill & Ted's Wyld Stallyns. But sadly, it seems like these not-so-shining-armored guys' tongues were nowhere near the vicinity of their cheeks when they filmed this video atrocity. Apparently they really do live in an alternate reality in which dressing up like Mickey Mouse from Fantasia and engaging in Camelot swordfights is the epitome of cool. Obviously, this is not a reality in which any sane person would choose to live.*


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## ChrisRushing (Dec 7, 2011)

Blood Ghost said:


> Death metal freejazz.





I wouldn't even believe that one is real except the drums look dead on lol. Who in the hell is singing or talking ? 
I've been onto Ricky Tick for a few years now. His videos are so horribly bad. That Wizard is high on Pepsi lol. Look at all the cans in the background.


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## DLG (Dec 7, 2011)

don't turn it off before you get to 3:00


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## eaeolian (Dec 7, 2011)

DLG said:


> don't turn it off before you get to 3:00




Wtf is this? Drama-core?


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## Randy (Dec 7, 2011)

DLG said:


> don't turn it off before you get to 3:00




The worst part, IMO, was the mix. It was garbage overall but the hits were so... limp. Flat. Flaccid. Just drained all the dynamics out of that song.

Also ATTN people in unsigned bands: If you're going to shoot a music video independently, DON'T insert a storyline. Just don't.


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## Razzy (Dec 7, 2011)

So I heard you guys like Pantera.


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## ChrisRushing (Dec 7, 2011)

I don't get it, they obviously had the money or connections to get hold of decent cameras and places to shoot but their audio sounds like they had some 15 year old with Garageband record and mix their album. Not even sure what to think about that BS at 3 mins. I see more musical non-sense because of this site than anywhere else on the net lol.


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## Alberto7 (Dec 7, 2011)

Rick Wakeman would be angry if he saw the OP video.


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## revclay (Dec 7, 2011)

Trotsk said:


>




Let's not hate on Ricky Tick. He is asking one of the great existential questions of our time: why _DO_ some people have more potatoes than they do meat? Ponder that for a while. 

In the mean time, observe the old rotary phone behind the Pepsi cans and the auxiliary office chair. Who might Ricky Tick call on said rotary phone? Do people actually sit down behind Ricky Tick and listen to his musings about fucking potatoes and meat? Or does Ricky Tick force people to sit in his room while he makes music and taunt them with the rotary phone, urging them to try and figure out how to use one of those things so they can escape? The world may never know...


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## pawel (Dec 7, 2011)

Squire Sanders | Professionals | Steven A. Delchin | Litigation

I wonder if having his band's video ridiculed all over the net will help his career, but he is clearly not too bothered.

Hey, at least they had fun shooting it.


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## Mysticlamp (Dec 7, 2011)

that was awesome


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## straightshreddd (Dec 7, 2011)

Oh, jeez. The initial vid was the first time I've ever honestly and uncontrollably facepalmed. haha As for the smack then A Day to Remember style breakdown...


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## Deathbringer769 (Dec 7, 2011)

They could afford that music video, but couldn't afford better production or a guitar tone?


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## zakattak192 (Dec 7, 2011)

Quantumface said:


> On another note, where is the orchestration from the intro jacked from? its so god damn famalier.



World of Warcraft, I'm fairly certain. Then again I stopped playing WoW when Cataclysm came out.


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## ChrisRushing (Dec 7, 2011)

Been sitting on this one for a few years. Can't believe these guys haven't come up in this thread lol. It's like they have never heard music in their entire life.


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## JPMike (Dec 7, 2011)

I really try not to listen or bump into this stuff, cause music as a whole frustrates me.


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## Blood Ghost (Dec 7, 2011)

DLG said:


> don't turn it off before you get to 3:00




Yeah, that was, um...

Anyway, where in California is that? It's fucking beautiful. But then again, I wouldn't want these people for neighbors...

Oh God, I'm gay. I need to shake out of the pre-Graveyard shift haze. I can't believe I paused Morbid Angel for this.


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## Slunk Dragon (Dec 8, 2011)

This thread has just made me laugh so hard.


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## M3CHK1LLA (Dec 8, 2011)

DLG said:


> don't turn it off before you get to 3:00



if you were looking for something new to spice up your bands stage presence. it seems that "synchronized jogging in place, during the breakdown" is the new mosh!


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## Blood Ghost (Dec 8, 2011)

M3CHK1LLA said:


> if you were looking for something new to spice up your bands stage presence. it seems that "synchronized jogging in place, during the breakdown" is the new mosh!





Shit DLG, how the fuck did you find this?


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## Don Vito (Dec 8, 2011)

DLG said:


> don't turn it off before you get to 3:00



Nice house.


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## mikemueller2112 (Dec 9, 2011)

If we're talking cheesy/bad metal, I think I've got the trump card. I hate making fun of people, and to this extent, but this guy has put himself on the internet way too much, so it's just "critique". I found out about him from a message board for the local metal scene, so weird. He's from a town a couple hours away from where I live, but he's got some videos on YouTube of some "shows" and it's just him playing a terrible sounding guitar on stage. As godly as his solos are, I still have way too many face palm moments. 



There is more videos on his page, and his Facebook page, and his fan club page on Facebook:

Iron Dragon - Info | Facebook
Iron Dragon Fan Club | Facebook

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=627963

I kind of feel bad about it, but then I lol. I am a terrible person.


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## M3CHK1LLA (Dec 9, 2011)

mikemueller2112 said:


> I kind of feel bad about it, but then I lol. I am a terrible person.




i was gonna type some sarcastic remark about his skillz when i realized something...

....he's done something ive never done & thats get on a stage in front of ppl and play.


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## Augury (Dec 9, 2011)

can anybody explain me why this bitch is singing to a carrot?


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## ChrisRushing (Dec 10, 2011)

Augury said:


> can anybody explain me why this bitch is singing to a carrot?



She has obviously watched one too many Paramore videos.


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## Lagtastic (Dec 13, 2011)

Wow, just wow. DLG this video made my night. This is almost as epic as that video someone posted a couple months back with Sauromon making a cameo in the video talking about destruction.


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## Blood Ghost (Dec 14, 2011)

Uh, did anyone else notice the neck-jerk 45 seconds into the Savvy Mae video on the right?


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## s_k_mullins (Dec 14, 2011)

It seems the video in the OP is gaining notoriety. 

Alternate Reality were in the Guitar World newsfeed today as "Worst Metal Music Video Ever", and apparently they'll be featured on the 3rd season of _Tosh.0_.


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## tr0n (Dec 14, 2011)

I used to just despair at the kind of comments that would appear on YouTube, but it's heartening to see that when terrible music appears, the majority of people know it's terrible. There is still hope for humanity.


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## tr0n (Dec 14, 2011)

DLG said:


>




I got Blotted Science as a suggested video...thank god I clicked it, I stopped crying then.


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## Severance (Dec 14, 2011)

I present to you... Revengeance


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## Quantumface (Dec 14, 2011)

mikemueller2112 said:


> If we're talking cheesy/bad metal, I think I've got the trump card. I hate making fun of people, and to this extent, but this guy has put himself on the internet way too much, so it's just "critique". I found out about him from a message board for the local metal scene, so weird. He's from a town a couple hours away from where I live, but he's got some videos on YouTube of some "shows" and it's just him playing a terrible sounding guitar on stage. As godly as his solos are, I still have way too many face palm moments.
> 
> 
> 
> ...




goodness, ugh. i guess good for him and all, but man he is just off in his own world completely.


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## DLG (Nov 6, 2012)

ok, this might have just taken shit to another level


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## synrgy (Nov 6, 2012)

^ I barely made it to the 30 second mark.


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## Konfyouzd (Nov 6, 2012)

I watched it with the sound off and... Well... I don't want to touch the volume knob...


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## Webmaestro (Nov 6, 2012)

This made my day. It's making its rounds around the workplace as we speak...

EDIT: Whoa, holy old-post Batman. Now I feel silly >.<


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## 8Fingers (Nov 6, 2012)

This to me is the most annoying stuff I heard in my life.
The first time I watched it, it was so brutal that it brutally smashed and shaked my balls turning them into ice cream.
I really prefer having to watch all bands in this thread live then 4 minutes of this stuff


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## DLG (Nov 6, 2012)

dude, ween is the best


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## joshuallen (Nov 6, 2012)

mikemueller2112 said:


> If we're talking cheesy/bad metal, I think I've got the trump card. I hate making fun of people, and to this extent, but this guy has put himself on the internet way too much, so it's just "critique". I found out about him from a message board for the local metal scene, so weird. He's from a town a couple hours away from where I live, but he's got some videos on YouTube of some "shows" and it's just him playing a terrible sounding guitar on stage. As godly as his solos are, I still have way too many face palm moments.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



OH MY GOD WHY IS IT SO SQUEAKY? 

Sorry, I had to shout to be heard over the flanger.


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## goherpsNderp (Nov 6, 2012)

this brings back horrible memories of living in beaumont texas and dealing with so much terrible local music.

don't get me wrong, there were a good number of talented musicians in the area, but for the most part the metal scene was hopeless diarrhea. i think they all thought that so long as they had the "we're fucking bad ass" attitudes on the stage they would somehow become successful and sound good.


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## Randy (Nov 12, 2012)

DLG said:


> ok, this might have just taken shit to another level




Schuuuultz!


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## The Omega Cluster (Nov 12, 2012)

Lol @ the wizard axe


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## ilyti (Nov 12, 2012)

^ I was sure they were from Serbia. Nope, turns out they're from Brazil.

 Dammit man, Brazilians are supposed to be good at metal!!


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## Krullnar (Nov 13, 2012)

DLG said:


> ok, this might have just taken shit to another level




The song is actually really good.


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## blaaargh (Nov 13, 2012)

That CGI... those helmets... the random explosions... that bass player... HOLY FUCK THIS IS THE BEST THING

This video is actually legitimately awesome in all of its terribleness. My friends know the guy who made it too, which is kinda cool


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## Tang (Nov 13, 2012)

DLG said:


> ok, this might have just taken shit to another level





Dear DLG,

You make my life better than it would otherwise be.

Thanks,
Tang


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## CrownofWorms (Nov 24, 2012)

Fucking Krieg


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