# The Expendables



## Moro (Aug 9, 2010)

I did a search and the other threads were too old. Also, I thought that THIS deserved it's own thread. Fucking awesome. 

I'm usually not the kind of guy that goes for just violence in a movie, but man... This might be the most badass movie in quite some time.


----------



## MaxOfMetal (Aug 9, 2010)

I can tell it's going to be absolutely awful, in both premise and especially dialog, but DAMN I'm going to see it. 

Also, a big  for Jean-Claude Van Damme, Steven Seagal, and Kurt Russell for having lame reasons not to be in this. They've all made awful, cheesy action flicks, and would have really made this movie that much more epic.


----------



## MFB (Aug 9, 2010)

SHUT YOUR MOUTH MAX!

This movie is going to fucking rule and I'm gonna see it opening night, maybe even get a little  during it too!


----------



## Xaios (Aug 9, 2010)

MaxOfMetal said:


> I can tell it's going to be absolutely awful, in both premise and especially dialog, but DAMN I'm going to see it.
> 
> Also, a big  for Jean-Claude Van Damme, Steven Seagal, and Kurt Russell for having lame reasons not to be in this. They've all made awful, cheesy action flicks, and would have really made this movie that much more epic.



I think the only one of those guys who could still pull off an action movie role is JCVD. Steven Seagal and Kurt Russell are a little too puffy these days to pull it off.


----------



## Customisbetter (Aug 9, 2010)

All males must watch this film.


----------



## splinter8451 (Aug 9, 2010)

Customisbetter said:


> All males must watch this film.



QFT


----------



## Apex1rg7x (Aug 13, 2010)

Just got back from it and yeah its a must see if you consider yourself a man.  For the action movie blow em up shoot em up type shit it doesnt get any better than this.


----------



## MFB (Aug 13, 2010)

Apex1rg7x said:


> Just got back from it and yeah its a must see if you consider yourself a man.  For the action movie blow em up shoot em up type shit it doesnt get any better than this.



How thick and burly is the beard it forced you to grow after seeing it?


----------



## synrgy (Aug 13, 2010)

Xaios said:


> I think the only one of those guys who could still pull off an action movie role is JCVD. Steven Seagal and Kurt Russell are a little too puffy these days to pull it off.



Oh right, but it's okay to have borderline geriatric Arnold Schwarzanegger and Bruce Willis doing cameos, right?

Not to mention Stalone is in his 60s and Mickey Rourke isn't exactly a baby face, either. 

I agree; as soon as the promo for this started all I could think was "Where the fuck is JCVD???"

Anyway, I'm sure I'll go see it.


----------



## MFB (Aug 14, 2010)

I'd give it a C+

It was less than what I was expecting, which to be fair - wasn't a lot. Although Schwarzennegger's cameo was fucking awesome, and it was cool to see Lundgren in a film again, it was still overall not that great.


----------



## Origin (Aug 14, 2010)

Started off kind of stupid for 20 minutes...then got fantastic. Great fight scenes, many interesting guns, flips and a whole lot of people died. Jet Li was fuckin amazing, and killed a lot of people. Terry Crews blew people's entire top halves off. Gonna see if I can jack it to it when I can watch it at home; I hope there's more of them


----------



## MFB (Aug 14, 2010)

I could barely tell what the fuck was going on during the "fight" scenes, mainly due to the camera shaking and dim lighting


----------



## chucknorrishred (Aug 14, 2010)

MaxOfMetal said:


> I can tell it's going to be absolutely awful, in both premise and especially dialog, but DAMN I'm going to see it.
> 
> Also, a big  for Jean-Claude Van Damme, Steven Seagal, and Kurt Russell for having lame reasons not to be in this. They've all made awful, cheesy action flicks, and would have really made this movie that much more epic.


----------



## Survival101 (Aug 15, 2010)

Well. I'm not sure what I just saw. But all I know is half my brain cells are gone and my testosterone levels are up 400%. I feel like I should immediately being killing every living thing I see while saying stupid one liners with a mostly monosyllabic vocabulary. 

THAT BEING SAID. It was intense.


----------



## Origin (Aug 15, 2010)

MFB said:


> I could barely tell what the fuck was going on during the "fight" scenes, mainly due to the camera shaking and dim lighting


 
I saw it fine


----------



## Tiger (Aug 15, 2010)

I loved it of course. My only complaint was I wish the last half had been brighter, so much was going on but it was so dark.

I had to see it a crappy theater so maybe it exasperated the issue. Other than that, fuck yea.


----------



## anthonyferguson (Aug 15, 2010)

One of the men is called lundgren. awesome.
HAHA, I was listening to 12-21-12 by tdte and just as the second part of the movie came in it started playing again. I thought it was the actual soundtrack for a minute :/


----------



## Nick1 (Aug 15, 2010)

Just saw it today. The action was good and the story line wasnt too bad. I was hoping to see some more action scenes with some of the actors that got just cameos. But hey cant win em all.


----------



## raximkoron (Aug 17, 2010)

I came for the explosions and blood, but stayed for the awesomeness of 2-dimensional biker action heroes that I've come to know and appreciate. It didn't disappoint me at all.

I also stayed to watch them shave the beard off the screen when the movie was over.


----------



## cwhitey2 (Aug 17, 2010)

MaxOfMetal said:


> I can tell it's going to be absolutely awful, in both premise and especially dialog, but DAMN I'm going to see it.
> 
> Also, a big  for Jean-Claude Van Damme, Steven Seagal, and Kurt Russell for having lame reasons not to be in this. They've all made awful, cheesy action flicks, and would have really made this movie that much more epic.




yeah they should have been first on the list to be in the movie...they cant have a good enough reason in my book to not be in this movie...


----------



## Xaios (Aug 17, 2010)

I saw this movie a few nights ago. It did exactly what I thought it would do. Specifically, it entertained the crap out of me when I was watching it, and then it completely left my consciousness once I stepped out of the theater.


----------



## sakeido (Aug 18, 2010)

Xaios said:


> I saw this movie a few nights ago. It did exactly what I thought it would do. Specifically, it entertained the crap out of me when I was watching it, and then it completely left my consciousness once I stepped out of the theater.



+1 
God it was a dumb movie. Stallone botoxing his face into an expressionless mask was a bad decision. His eyebrows NEVER MOVE 

Only scene from the movie I can remember is Mickey Rourke's big scene in the middle where he's talking about how his soul is gone. WTF was that doing in there? 2 minutes of seriously good acting in the midst of 1 hour 45 minutes of mindless macho violence...


----------



## TheDivineWing22 (Aug 18, 2010)

It was everything I expected it to be. An awesome action movie that didn't need to be bothered by things such as a deep plot and great acting. I LOVED it. I think some people went in to this expecting too much. First day buy for me when it comes out on blu ray


----------



## Origin (Aug 18, 2010)

sakeido said:


> +1
> God it was a dumb movie. Stallone botoxing his face into an expressionless mask was a bad decision. His eyebrows NEVER MOVE
> 
> Only scene from the movie I can remember is Mickey Rourke's big scene in the middle where he's talking about how his soul is gone. WTF was that doing in there? 2 minutes of seriously good acting in the midst of 1 hour 45 minutes of mindless macho violence...



Part came out of goddamn nowhere! It was like The Wrestler quality.  I think that might've been...was that a plot, guys?  Ehn, fuck it. DID YOU SEE LI WITH THAT TMP IN THE TRUCK?!? HEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


----------



## Daemoniac (Aug 27, 2010)

Ok, I saw it today....








I don't know what the hell some of you guys are complaining about  Quite possibly the most violently entertaining (if completely cheeseball) movie I have ever seen. If I had the cash, I would see it again most definitely. It just feels like a bunch of mates got together and made a cheesy, awesome action flick for shits and giggles.

I'll also say that the violence is _mighty_ satisfying.


----------



## Daemoniac (Aug 27, 2010)

Tiger said:


> I loved it of course. My only complaint was I wish the last half had been brighter, so much was going on but it was so dark.
> 
> I had to see it a crappy theater so maybe it exasperated the issue. Other than that, fuck yea.



I think it must have, honestly. Where I saw it, you knew it was night, but it was definitely not hard to see what was going on. Fucking loved it


----------



## Marv Attaxx (Aug 27, 2010)

I'm gonna see it tonight 
I'm so excited


----------



## Daemoniac (Aug 27, 2010)

Yay!  I really, _really_ want to go see it again... really, it was so much fun to watch


----------



## meisterjager (Aug 27, 2010)

Steven Segal is in Machete with Danny Trejo. Dunno why JCVD isn't in it, maybe he's gearing up for the three films he's releasing next year.

I thought the film was awesome - it was exactly what I was expecting. Anyone going into this who wasn't able to figure out what a film full of dream team of action stars was gonna turn out like just doesn't get it.

And who cares about Stallone's botoxed face?! THIS IS A MAN FILM, and you're fucking bitching about botox 

Best bit was Terry Crews IMO, when he starts blasting that shotgun for the first time


----------



## Daemoniac (Aug 27, 2010)

meisterjager said:


> Spoiler
> 
> 
> 
> Best bit was Terry Crews IMO, when he starts blasting that shotgun for the first time



Oh my god, yes  Fuck I need to see it again


----------



## synrgy (Aug 27, 2010)

meisterjager said:


> And who cares about Stallone's botoxed face?! THIS IS A MAN FILM, and you're fucking bitching about botox



I think the concept is that 'real men don't get fucking botox'.


----------



## EcoliUVA (Aug 27, 2010)

First half is slow, crappy "plot" and "character building", with a couple of awesome scenes thrown in. Mickey Rourke is actually an amazing actor and has a convincing scene though.

Second half is a slaughterfest of awesome covered in powdered testosterone. Imagine basically anything you'd like to see in an action movie (sans ninja-related stuff...other than some knife throwing) and it happens. Fast. It happens really, really fast. You'll find yourself thinking about what the fuck just went down and how awesomely some guy just got shitwrecked while the next awesome thing is assaulting your face organs.

Yes, I said organs. You can see, smell, hear, and taste the awesome.

If you can make it through the first 40 minutes. They really should've just said "Hey these guys are badass mercenaries with troubled pasts, watch them sack up and drive the rape train" and laid it all out in 50 minutes.


----------



## Daemoniac (Aug 27, 2010)

^ See, I thought the first half was just fine  It didn't feel "slow" per se to me, nor did I think it was exceptionally horrendously done.


----------



## EcoliUVA (Aug 27, 2010)

It's true that it wasn't the worst I've ever seen, but it didn't really connect for me.

Glad you enjoyed it though, overall I wasn't disappointed at one bit!


----------



## Varcolac (Aug 27, 2010)

Great film or greatest film?

Couldn't get this out of my head during the film. That, and the sound of the auto-shotgun. Everyone else's guns just sounded like peashooters next to what over a pint after the film we christened the Explody Shotgun of Infinite Awesome. Terry Crews wins.


----------



## Marv Attaxx (Aug 27, 2010)

Holy crap, that was awesome 
Explosions, fights, guys shooting other guys, one-liner, everything was awesome!
"WARNING SHOT!!!"
BAM!
"Damn, too low..."


----------



## Daemoniac (Aug 27, 2010)

Yeah it was pretty fucking awesome


----------



## Marv Attaxx (Aug 28, 2010)

Demoniac said:


> Yeah it was pretty fucking awesome


Hell Yeah!!!!




Demoniac said:


> Oh my god, yes  Fuck I need to see it again


FUCK YES 
Sly, please make a sequel!!!!
I grew up with die hard, demolition man and all those arnie movies. I've been waiting for YEARS to see a "new" old-school actionmovie again 
Kids today grow up with sparkling vampires fighting fluffy werewolves and aliens hiding as cars...
They don't know anymore how a real explosion looks like, how badass the old action-heros were before it was "CGI+a lil' bit of movie"


----------



## Scar Symmetry (Aug 28, 2010)

This film looks stupid, but I want to see it just for Mickey Rourke.


----------



## Daemoniac (Aug 28, 2010)

^ It's the most gloriously stupid movie ever, dude. You have to see it. I honestly haven't just _enjoyed_ a movie this much in ages


----------



## Marv Attaxx (Aug 28, 2010)

^ same here!
Entertained the shit outta me 
And afterwards I had the urge to watch it again...and again...and again andagainandagain


----------



## kung_fu (Aug 28, 2010)

I just saw this the other day. Statham wins this movie. There were some pretty young kids in the theatre and as the movie ended, i heard one of the kids ask the other "who was your favourite?" (referring to character) . I thought that was priceless because the kid in me wanted to ask my brother the same question.


----------



## kung_fu (Aug 28, 2010)

MFB said:


> How thick and burly is the beard it forced you to grow after seeing it?



It caused my balls to drop.......again. I know, i didn't think it was possible either 

A few other things i have to say about it:

1) Was anybody else dissapointed by the quality of the one liners? I don't mean that they were good/bad, but that they weren't groan-inducingly bad, which i love. Maybe i've just seen too many bad action flicks 
2) I love the lundgren/stallone scene in the garage


Spoiler



the first time we see lundgren after he's no longer "an expendable"


. It's two guy's who can barely act going toe to toe to see who's worse at playing one dimensional characters (SPOILER:


Spoiler



they both win/lose 


)
3) Anybody else surprised that Randy Couture was like the best actor in the movie?

I enjoyed the shit outta this movie, but here's hoping they put together a sequel that blows this out of the water. Also, I want Terry Crew's gun.


----------



## Daemoniac (Aug 28, 2010)

^ I was disappointed with no part of the movie  I must have had the exact right expectations, seriously, cos i came out and was disappointed with _nothing_.

The missus wanted Charisma Carpenter to be in it a bit more than she was, and we both agreed that the


Spoiler



scene out in the basketball court was one of the best in the movie


, but other than that, even she was happy 

Honestly, the only tihng I think they could have done to make it "better," is to get Seagal in there, and add an hour more explosions. 

EDIT: Also, the scene with Arnie and Stallone is quite possibly the best/funniest/worst moment in the film  Fucking classic.


----------



## DrunkyMunky (Aug 28, 2010)

Just saw it tonight. People around me were really enjoying it - even girls were histerical. It was a very cool old-school experience. Over 9000 bad guys dead.

Oh and watching Sly run is hilarious, if Seagal was in it, damn!... I would just choke and die


----------



## Neil (Aug 29, 2010)

Xaios said:


> *Steven Seagal* and Kurt Russell are a little too puffy these days to pull it off.


How dare you, he is RYBACK!


----------



## Pauly (Aug 29, 2010)

I thought it was dull and boring. Even for a turn-off-brain film it just followed all the Hollywood clichés and conventions and felt as past it's best as some of the cast. For all the 'all those old names in ONES MOVIE OMG!', there weren't (m)any(?) epic moments with them; the star of the film was the 'oh hai I saw you on the Discovery Channel!' automatic shotgun. Zero attachment to the characters, uninspired direction... I get that it was just trying to be a bromance film about getting a bunch of famous action names on one set and giving them a paper-thin excuse to kill lots of people for fun, but it felt like a big swing and a miss.


----------



## Daemoniac (Aug 29, 2010)

Pauly said:


> Even for a turn-off-brain film it just followed all the Hollywood clichés and conventions



See, now I went into it expecting that, and really expecting it to deliver nothing but lame cliches and next to no (or just no) story whatsoever 

It's a movie with tons of action stars blowing shit up. That's all it was meant to be IMO


----------



## Charles (Aug 30, 2010)

I came out of the theater wanting to head butt everybody in sight while growing a beard at fast forward speed, roaring and tearing my shirt down the center.


----------



## Daemoniac (Aug 30, 2010)

^ All the while spouting disgusting, action style one-liners in a Stallone style voice


----------



## Pauly (Aug 30, 2010)

Demoniac said:


> See, now I went into it expecting that, and really expecting it to deliver nothing but lame cliches and next to no (or just no) story whatsoever
> 
> It's a movie with tons of action stars blowing shit up. That's all it was meant to be IMO



Yeah I realised this before I saw it, but say, I still preferred Stallone's newest Rambo to this, which was also a dumb film. I like the occasional no-brainer, but they still need to be well shot and have a few neat ideas or memorable moments. The bit with the plane and the fuel tank was pretty good, but most of the other action scenes were just typical guys with guns that's been done better or with a bit more flair a million times before. The disappointment comes from having such an ensemble cast but the film itself feeling fairly expendable (ho ho). I mean, if you replaced the cast with a bog standard one, would the movie still stand up on it's own legs?

IMO since it was an unrealistic film, they should have ramped up the cheese factor Commando style, or something, and really gone to town, making roles that nobody but these guys could have pulled off and given them all a bunch of situations to use ridiculous amounts of weaponry in or a few nods to their best bits in their respective films.

Just felt the movie is only carried by the cast, when it could have been something a lot more memorable or enjoyably absurd.


----------



## Daemoniac (Aug 30, 2010)

Fair enough. To each their own I suppose


----------



## Ben.Last (Sep 1, 2010)

I absolutely loved it. It was a great throwback to the classic action flicks of the 80's

There's only 2 things that didn't quite click with me:
1. The cgi. This is my only REAL complaint. It wasn't incredibly well done at points and it kind of took me out of the 80's feel when those parts popped up. I HATE cg blood.

2. The dialog. The one liners weren't that great and some of the other dialog was baaaad. I am wondering how much of the script was ad libbed on set. This complaint isn't as serious as my first as there were some gems and the bad/ad libbed feel kind of worked on some level.


----------

