# The Best Movie Lines Ever



## Blake1970 (Mar 27, 2012)




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## Xiphos68 (Mar 27, 2012)

"You shall not pass!" - Lord of The Rings (Gandalf)


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## ghostred7 (Mar 27, 2012)

Actually....damn near that whole movie has great quotes and def some of my favs..


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## HeHasTheJazzHands (Mar 28, 2012)

No lines from Airplane. I feel cheated.


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## Hollowway (Mar 28, 2012)

HeHasTheJazzHands said:


> No lines from Airplane. I feel cheated.



Lines?! I should just drop the entire script on your desk! The whole thing was a masterpiece. That and Spaceballs.

But yeah, that Dirty Harry line is utterly awesome.


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## petereanima (Mar 28, 2012)

Xiphos68 said:


> "You shall not pass!" - Lord of The Rings (Gandalf)




"You shall not BASS." - Lee Sklar. (Toto)









scnr.


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## Sepultorture (Mar 28, 2012)




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## XEN (Mar 28, 2012)

"We'll start the ass kissing with you."
Agent Smecker, Boondock Saints


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## petereanima (Mar 28, 2012)

"I love the smell of napalm in the morning" (Lieutenant Colonel Kilgore; Apocalypse Now)


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## signalgrey (Mar 28, 2012)

Fuck You, Thats My Name! Sound Clip and Quote


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## VBCheeseGrater (Mar 28, 2012)

"WELL WHY DON't YOU PUT HER IN CHARGE!!?!?!?" - Hudson, from Aliens, regarding the 8 yr old Newt. still LOL at that


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## Blake1970 (Mar 28, 2012)




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## Xaios (Mar 28, 2012)

Really, there is nothing that tops this:


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## Rock4ever (Mar 30, 2012)

Hi, I am Conrad Dilbeck....I .... I mean Congressman Dildo....


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## Empryrean (Mar 30, 2012)




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## canuck brian (Mar 30, 2012)

This is the best I WILL KILL YOU quote of all time.


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## st2012 (Mar 30, 2012)

urklvt said:


> "We'll start the ass kissing with you."
> Agent Smecker, Boondock Saints



Pack Of Smokes Sound Clip and Quote


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## vampiregenocide (Mar 30, 2012)




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## Sicarius (Mar 30, 2012)

pretty much the whole script from The Other Guys.


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## Bigsby (Mar 30, 2012)




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## Mr. Big Noodles (Mar 30, 2012)




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## tacotiklah (Mar 30, 2012)

Pulp fiction you say?:

*Brett*: _[to Jules]_ Look, I'm sorry, I-I didn't get your name. I got yours, uh, Vincent, right? But-But I-I never got your...*Jules*: My name is Pitt, and your ass ain't talking your way outta this shit.*Brett*: _[rising]_ No, no, no. I just want you to know how &#8211; _[Jules motions him to sit down]_ I just want you to know how sorry we are that-that things got so fucked up with us and-and Mr. Wallace. I-I-It...we-we got into this thing with the best intentions. Really. I never..._[Jules shoots Flock-of-Seagulls, Brett recoils in horror]_*Jules*: Oh, I'm sorry. Did I break your concentration? I didn't mean to do that. Please, continue. You were sayin' something about "best intentions"? _[silence]_ What's the matter? Oh, y-you were finished? Oh, well, allow me to retort. What does Marsellus Wallace look like?*Brett*: What?*Jules*: _[overturns the small table in the room]_ What country are you from?*Brett*: What?*Jules*: "What" ain't no country I ever heard of. They speak English in "What"?*Brett*: What?*Jules*: English, motherfucker! Do you speak it?*Brett*: Yes.*Jules*: Then you know what I'm saying.*Brett*: Yes.*Jules*: Describe what Marsellus Wallace looks like.*Brett*: What...?*Jules*: _[points gun directly in Brett's face]_ Say "what" again. Say "what" again. I dare you. I double-dare you, motherfucker. Say "what" one more goddamn time.*Brett*: He-he's black.*Jules*: Go on.*Brett*: He's bald.*Jules*: Does he look like a bitch?*Brett*: What?*Jules*: _[shoots Brett in the shoulder; Brett screams]_ DOES...HE...LOOK...LIKE...A BITCH?!*Brett*: _[in pain]_ No!*Jules*: Then why'd you try to fuck him like a bitch, Brett?*Brett*: _[faintly]_ I didn't.*Jules*: Yes, you did. Yes, you did, Brett. You tried to fuck him. And Marsellus Wallace don't like to be fucked by anybody except Mrs. Wallace. You read the Bible, Brett?*Brett*: _[gasping for breath]_ Yes.*Jules*: Well, there's this passage I've got memorized, sorta fits the occasion. Ezekiel 25:17? "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who in the name of charity and good will shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. _[begins pacing about the room]_ And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord... _[pulls out his gun and aims it at Brett]_ ...when I lay my vengeance upon thee."_[Brett shrieks in horror as Jules and Vincent shoot him repeatedly]_


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## mcleanab (Mar 30, 2012)

"Hand me my wallet."
"Which one is it?"
"It's the one that says 'Bad Motherfucker' on it."


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## JamesM (Mar 30, 2012)

Pulp Fiction, The Big Lebowski, Caddyshack, Alex Baldwin's speech in Glenngarry Glen Ross.


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## gunshow86de (Mar 31, 2012)




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## iRaiseTheDead (Mar 31, 2012)

THEE best.


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## r3tr0sp3ct1v3 (Mar 31, 2012)

"I'm here to kick ass and chew bubblegum. And i'm all out of gum"
They live


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## tacotiklah (Apr 1, 2012)

r3tr0sp3ct1v3 said:


> "I'm here to kick ass and chew bubblegum. And i'm all out of gum"
> They live



A lesser known, but equally awesome quote from that is:
"Life's a bitch, and she's back in heat." 


Some more:
"Left side, safe. Right side, safe. Middle...squish like grape." -Miyagi from the Karate Kid

"Do, or do not. There is no try." - Yoda (star wars episode V)

"What's the difference between jam and jelly? You can't jelly your cock into a dead girl's ass..." - Coroner #1 (Rob Zombie's version of Halloween 2)

"Your mother is down here with us Carackas. Would you like to leave a message? I'll be sure that she gets it." - Possessed girl (The Exorcist)

"Hey, try not to suck any dick on the way to the parking lot" Dante to his g/f (Clerks)

"Spared no expense." John Hammond (Jurassic Park)
(I'm surprised you didn't think of that one Ross, creator of the Djent Hammond memes.  )


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## Bigsby (Apr 1, 2012)




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## klami (Apr 3, 2012)

They've done studies, you know. 60% of the time, it works every time.


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## SenorDingDong (Apr 3, 2012)

Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Black Knight: _It's just a flesh wound_.


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## ILuvPillows (Apr 3, 2012)

'There, now we can be friends again'
'You're no daisy'
'I'm your huckleberry' 

on and on...


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## Blake1970 (Apr 3, 2012)




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## ZEBOV (Apr 3, 2012)




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## Blake1970 (Apr 4, 2012)




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## AxeHappy (Apr 5, 2012)

Most of the Princess Bride.


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## Hollowway (Apr 6, 2012)

These bring back awesome memories. Makes me want to rent them all and do a movie night where I say half the lines just before the characters to, soley to piss off my wife.


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## BIG ND SWEATY (Apr 6, 2012)

all of this


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## TRENCHLORD (Apr 6, 2012)

Obiwan says;

"Mos Eisley space port., You'll never find a more wretched hive of scum and viliany.
We must be catious."


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## beneharris (Apr 6, 2012)

"i see your intentions and your intestines."

**



 the best part about that scene is when he says he gets up extra early to make the cake, when not five minutes before they said how it was like 3pm.


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## HOKENSTYFE (Apr 6, 2012)

One of the best comic book movies of all times, Batman Returns. As the Penguin(played by Danny DeVito) realizes Catwoman(played by Michelle Pfieffer) is really not into him. He puts his 'Umbrella Coptor' around her neck, sending her skyward. Echoing..."farewell my unattended, go to heaven".


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## Sepultorture (Apr 6, 2012)

for real this time

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SClFV5ssdgY

Sean Connery is the fucking man


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## Mexi (Apr 7, 2012)




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## guitareben (Apr 7, 2012)

"Wendy? Darling? Light, of my life. I'm not gonna hurt ya. You didn't let me finish my sentence. I said, I'm not gonna hurt ya. I'm just going to bash your brains in. "



Well, yea


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## TheSixthWheel (Apr 7, 2012)

The entire feature length of Office Space. Seriously.


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## Cabinet (Apr 7, 2012)

"Nice hat!"
Cannibal the Musical


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## VILARIKA (Apr 7, 2012)

I can't believe this wasn't posted yet:


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## All_¥our_Bass (Apr 7, 2012)




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## ZEBOV (Apr 8, 2012)




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## Murmel (Apr 8, 2012)

"Oh God, oh man, oh God, oh man... OH GOD, oh man.."


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## Blake1970 (May 2, 2012)




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## ExousRulez (May 2, 2012)




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## Volteau (May 3, 2012)

Randal Graves: My mom's been fuckin' a dead guy for 30 years. I call him dad.

-Clerks


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## texshred777 (May 9, 2012)

..and I will serve this great nation at the pleasure of myself. If there's one thing I've proven it's that you can count on me to pleasure myself.

-Tony Stark


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## grey dog (May 9, 2012)

KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHN!!!!!!!


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## LudoCluedo (Jun 10, 2012)

"Just tea, thank you." - Gandalf.


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## leftyguitarjoe (Jun 10, 2012)




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## iRaiseTheDead (Jun 16, 2012)

"You're a wizard, Harry." - Hagrid, Harry Potter xD


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## Michael T (Jun 16, 2012)

*V for Vendetta*
"Artist use Lies to tell the truth, While politicians use them to cover up the truth"
*
Bruce Wayne *
"Why do we fall down....so we can learn to pick ourselves up."

"This would be a good death....but not good enough."

*Battlestar Galactica *
"There is a reason why you separate the military & police. 1 fights the enemy of the state, the other serves & protects the people. When the military becomes both then the enemies of the state tend to become the people."

"Which side are we on? we are on the side of the demons chief. We're evil men in the gardens of paradise, sent by the forces of death to spread devastation & destruction wherever we go. Surprised you didn't know that."

"There is no greater Allie, no force more powerful, no enemy more resolved than a son who chooses to step from his fathers shadow."


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## morrowcosom (Jun 18, 2012)

"I'm your hucklebearer." Plus, many more.

Doc Holliday (Val Kilmer)- Tombstone 





AND

The entire script for Clint Eastwood's character (Walt Kowalski) in Gran Turino.


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## MrPepperoniNipples (Jun 18, 2012)

"ice to meet you"

"time to break the ice"

"everybody chill"

"Let's kick some ice"

- Arnie


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## Explorer (Jun 18, 2012)

"Was that your routine... or a performance by Cirque de So-Lame?"

Chazz Michael Michaels, _Blades of Glory_


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## Riffer (Jun 18, 2012)

"We got no money. We got no food. Our pets heads are falling off!" - Lloyd Christmas (Dumb and Dumber)


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## mcleanab (Jun 18, 2012)

"Step aside, Butch."


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## AgentOrange (Jun 18, 2012)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zomOYQHzg40


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## pink freud (Jun 18, 2012)

You know it's true.


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## grey dog (Jun 21, 2012)

"that was so terrible i think you gave me CANCER"

calculon on bender's acting.


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## JosephAOI (Jun 21, 2012)

Also various lines from Fight Club.


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## nostealbucket (Jun 21, 2012)

Clint Eastwood.


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## The Grief Hole (Jun 21, 2012)

"Conan. What is best in life?"

"To crush your enemies, see them driven before you and to hear the lamentation of their women"


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## metal_sam14 (Jun 21, 2012)

Did someone call 9-1-holy shit!?

-The other guys


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## Murdstone (Jun 22, 2012)

There was a great line in 'The White Ribbon' delivered as a man ordered his mistress to stop giving him a blowjob. Here's a snippet of the entire dialog, which sounded so much more insulting in German.

Stop sitting there as if you were carrying all
the world's woes on your shoulders. The world
won't collapse down. Not on you, or on me.
(explains):I just want it to stop, that's all.
I've been trying, but it's just disgusting. I
try to think of another woman when I'm making
love to you, a woman who smells good, who's
young one, one who's less flabby than you, but
my imagination can't handle it. In the end, it's
you again and then I just feel like throwing up
and am embarrassed at myself. So what's the
point?


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## Blake1970 (Jun 26, 2012)




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## tacotiklah (Jun 26, 2012)

"Daddy would you like some Sausage?"




No matter how pissed off or upset I am, playing this movie is guaranteed to make me laugh myself silly and put me in a good mood.


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## petereanima (Jun 27, 2012)

"I had to Kill Bob Morton because he made a mistake... now its time to erase that mistake." - Dick Jones (Robocop).

"Bitches, leave." - Clarence Boddicker (Robocop).

"I'd buy that for a dollar!" (Robocop)


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## VBCheeseGrater (Jun 27, 2012)

"Kick his ass, Sea Bass!"


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## AliceLG (Jun 27, 2012)

"My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next."

Goosebumps, every single time


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## nickgray (Jun 29, 2012)




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## revclay (Jun 30, 2012)

Max Fischer: I like your nurse's uniform, guy.
Dr. Peter Flynn: These are O.R. scrubs.
Max Fischer: O, R they?


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## ilyti (Jul 1, 2012)

Big Trouble in Little China has some incredible lines. My favourite is:

"What the hell does that mean? huh? China is here, I don't even know what the hell that means, all I know is this "Lo Pan" character comes out of thin air in the middle of a goddamn alley while his buddies are flying around on wires cutting everybody to shreds, and he just stands there waiting for me to drive my truck straight through him, _with light coming out of his mouth! _" - Kurt Russell


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## -JeKo- (Jul 3, 2012)

From the movie Amadeus: "From now on we're enemies, you and I". The voice is also pretty creepy.


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## MFB (Jul 3, 2012)

-JeKo- said:


> From the movie Amadeus: "From now on we're enemies, you and I". The voice is also pretty creepy.



And totally worth sampling


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## mcleanab (Jul 4, 2012)

"My God... It's full of stars!"


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## -JeKo- (Jul 4, 2012)

MFB said:


> And totally worth sampling




After hearing Warheart, I wanted to see the actual movie  Great choice from the COB guys.


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## Bobo (Jul 5, 2012)

vbshredder said:


> "WELL WHY DON't YOU PUT HER IN CHARGE!!?!?!?" - Hudson, from Aliens, regarding the 8 yr old Newt. still LOL at that



"Game over man! Game over!" - our boy Hudson

Ok maybe not an epic quote from Aliens, but a perfect sound bite to play at the end of any multiplayer video game match you've just been in 

"They mostly come at night...mostly." - Eric Cartman


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## Koop (Aug 26, 2012)

"I have to return some videotapes." -Patrick Bateman


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## Rock4ever (Aug 30, 2012)

*Plenty O'Toole*: Hi, I'm Plenty. 
*James Bond*: But of course you are. 
*Plenty O'Toole*: Plenty O'Toole. 
*James Bond*: Named after your father perhaps?


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## SenorDingDong (Sep 5, 2012)

"For a few seconds, this place was Armageddon. 

There was a fire fight!"



Fucking Boondock Saints. Willem Dafoe was excellent in that movie.


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## flexkill (Sep 5, 2012)

Watchmen "Rorschach" after he burns an inmate with hot grease.

"None off you seem to understand.
I'm not locked in here with you
you're locked in here with me!"

Love that scene!


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## Guitarwizard (Sep 5, 2012)

"We buy things we don't need
with money we don't have
to impress people we don't like"

You know where this is from. 






aaaaand of course there's this glorious one:


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## MikeH (Sep 5, 2012)

SenorDingDong said:


> "For a few seconds, this place was Armageddon.
> 
> There was a fire fight!"
> 
> ...



SNARE!SNARE!SNARE!SNARE!


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## SenorDingDong (Sep 5, 2012)

MikeH said:


> SNARE!SNARE!SNARE!SNARE!



Bleeding Through


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## Korbain (Sep 7, 2012)

the king of movie lines lol


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## flexkill (Sep 7, 2012)

"They Live" With the awesome Rowdy Roddy Piper!  Awesome flick.


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## CannibalKiller (Sep 7, 2012)




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## texshred777 (Jan 31, 2013)

Years ago my mother used to say to me, she'd say, "In this world, Elwood, you must be" - she always called me Elwood - "In this world, Elwood, you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant." Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant. You may quote me. 

Harvey (1950)

Not an epic or particularly clever line but it cuts right to the heart of that character perfectly.


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## kamello (Feb 1, 2013)

recently I saw _In Bruges_, loved the ambience, the script and the characters

Harry: [to Yuri, his weapon Dealer after handing him an UZI] An Uzi? I'm not from South Central Los Angeles N. I didn't come here to shoot twenty black ten year olds in a drive-by. I want a normal gun for a normal person.


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## Dommak89 (Feb 1, 2013)

I just watched iRobot again and while I think it's just a decent movie, not more, the following line made me chuckle:


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## Mexi (Feb 1, 2013)




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## kerska (Feb 7, 2013)

"Here is the peace in death I could not give you in life."

-George Clooney before he kills Quentin Tarantino in From Dusk til Dawn


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## zappatton2 (Feb 7, 2013)

Army of Darkness is less a movie than an assembly of awesome one liners. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart.


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## Alexxx (Feb 7, 2013)

Two of my favorite movies, and my favorite scenes from them.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RtXF2j5JAds

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RtXF2j5JAds


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## thebunfather (Feb 18, 2013)

Favorite movie quote: "Everyone wants to suck you cock and no one wants to suck mine!" - Prince Thaddius, Your Highness


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## MetalGravy (Feb 18, 2013)

True Grit:

John Wayne: That dang Texan, when you finally need him, he's dead!

Glen Campbell: I ain't dead, ya bushwackah!


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## Xaios (Feb 19, 2013)

I watched "Eraser" on TV recently, first time I had seen it in a while. Being a cornball Arnie movie, it's stuffed to the gills with one liners. 

"Gentlemen, keep your eyes open and your assholes puckered."

"No one screws with the union!"

(After falling from a plane into a scrapyard) "Where is this?" "Earth. Welcome!"

"They caught a train."

Johnny: "You want me to help you break into Cyrez?"
John: "Yeah. "
Johnny: "What, are you shitting me? When you said you needed my help, I thought you wanted me to help you move a sofa or something."


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## Tang (Feb 19, 2013)

"Open the pod bay doors, Hal"
"I'm sorry, Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that."


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## Gothic Headhunter (Feb 19, 2013)

"I might be a synth, but I'm not stupid." -Bishop, _Aliens_


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## m3l-mrq3z (Feb 20, 2013)

Liam Neeson in Taken 1:

"I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you."


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## Xaios (Feb 20, 2013)

"Good luck."


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## m3l-mrq3z (Feb 20, 2013)

Loved that film. The second part sucked, though.


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## TripperJ (Feb 22, 2013)

"Ya Monkey karate chop the elephant!!" Dante - Grandma's Boy


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## skeels (Feb 22, 2013)

Man, I just dropped about eight hundred likes in this thread!

Lot of greats covered. 

Was reminded of some classics. 

All the Alien flicks had some good ones- yes, even the first one- but my fave is from #2. Ripley is trying to grill Newt. "Where are your parents, sweetheart? You got any family? Any brothers or sisters? Where's your mom and dad?" And Newt says, "They're dead! Can I go now?"

"We're fucked, man! Game over! What the fuck are we supposed to do now?"
"Let's build a fire - sing some songs!"

Also, anything Arnold Schwarzenegger says is immediately a classic, "Stick around!" "Remember I said I would kill you last? I lied." but for some reason, always echoing through my mind... 

"GET TO THE CHOPPAH!"


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## MetalGravy (Feb 23, 2013)

Observe and Report

"Why would I blow up the Chik-Fil-A, Chik-Fil-A's fucking delicious!"


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## glpg80 (Feb 23, 2013)

MetalGravy said:


> Observe and Report
> 
> "Why would I blow up the Chik-Fil-A, Chik-Fil-A's fucking delicious!"


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## mcleanab (Feb 23, 2013)

skeels said:


> Ripley is trying to grill Newt. "Where are your parents, sweetheart? You got any family? Any brothers or sisters? Where's your mom and dad?" And Newt says, "They're dead! Can I go now?"
> 
> "We're fucked, man! Game over! What the fuck are we supposed to do now?"
> "Let's build a fire - sing some songs!"




"Why don't you put her in charge?!?!?!!"


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## MetalGravy (Feb 23, 2013)

glpg80 said:


>





The psychiatric eval was fucking gold


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## s_k_mullins (Feb 23, 2013)

My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds. Pretty standard really. At the age of twelve, I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it's breathtaking, I suggest you try it.


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## Gothic Headhunter (Feb 23, 2013)

"I wouldn't even hurt a fly."


Spoiler



Norman/Mrs. Bates


_Psycho_


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## flexkill (Feb 24, 2013)

"He's an asshole, look at his hair cut, Anyone with a haircut like that you know he's an asshole" HAHA love this movie "Weird Science"...Grew up watching this shit.


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## theleem (Feb 27, 2013)

Put that coffee down!


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## BHuard75 (Mar 1, 2013)

"How bout I stab you in the face with a soldering iron". Christopher Walken


I think from Joe Dirt, not sure.


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## petereanima (Mar 1, 2013)

_"If you ladies leave my island, if you survive recruit training - you will be a weapon, you will be a minister of death praying for war!"_


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## GatherTheArsenal (Mar 4, 2013)

+rep to the first who can nail where this quote is from, no using google.

"Those were 500 hundred dollar sunglasses asshole." *kick*









You can take Goodfellas in it's entirety and call it one big quotable, it's like watching a masterpiece unfold 



and i watch this about once a month for good measure because it just puts me in tears 

The 100 Greatest Movie Insults of All Time - YouTube


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## summerdesigner (Mar 7, 2013)

"I am back " very common lines in movies.


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## Idontpersonally (Mar 7, 2013)




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## Idontpersonally (Mar 7, 2013)

" id be so embarassed, look at how funky he is."

"the password is..."


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## Jlang (Mar 12, 2013)




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