# Dont even reply: emails from an asshole



## soliloquy (May 11, 2012)

this stuff is gold!
E-mails from an Asshole


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## BIG ND SWEATY (May 11, 2012)

i just saw that on another site, that dude is a fucking genius


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## Static (May 11, 2012)

Audio demon! hahhaha


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## Daemoniac (May 11, 2012)

I still prefer Simon - possibly partially cos he's an Aussie, but he also seems just a touch better spoken (if less coherent in his ramblings).

Still hilariously awesome though


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## WhiteWalls (May 11, 2012)

Honestly this is one of those reposts that can't ever be bad... I knew about this website years ago and my life was changed... KUMAMAKO!!


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## Murdstone (May 11, 2012)

I'd buy this guy a beer sometime if I knew who he was, he lives right near me somewhere. Talks about my town in the directions one.


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## BornToLooze (May 11, 2012)

I was reading these and had a great idea for trolling the classifieds, but I don't wanna get banned


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## The Uncreator (May 11, 2012)

That is comedy genius.


EDIT

I lost it at this:

Walt Disney's Double Penetration Cockblasts 3


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## Jakke (May 11, 2012)

Ah, comedy gold. Glorious master translator indeed


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## tacotiklah (May 16, 2012)

The best one was when he tried to pay his bill with a crude drawing of a spider.


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## imlikemike (May 16, 2012)

^ I think that was a different guy, but that was pretty hilarious too haha.


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## tacotiklah (May 16, 2012)

Yeah you're right, that was the aussie guy. Best one from this guy was when he said he was on leave from th military and wanted to earn cash doing babysitting. That was too much!


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## potatohead (May 16, 2012)

The directions for the TV one is absolute gold


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## JStraitiff (May 16, 2012)

omg that most recent one about the japanese translation was so funny!


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## Faine (May 16, 2012)

Sorry to disappoint your sick mind Julia, but yes, they are all children's movies. So do you want them or not?

By the way, I just found 3 more movies to add to the collection I am offering:

Toy Story 2 
James and the Giant Peach
Walt Disney's Double Penetration Cockblasts 3


I lost my shit when I read this


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## Razzy (May 16, 2012)

ghstofperdition said:


> The best one was when he tried to pay his bill with a crude drawing of a spider.



Go away

Worth noting, both of these guys have books out, and they're both fantastic.


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## jordanky (May 17, 2012)

Holy shit. I thought I was getting ready to go to bed to wake up for work in a few hours. That is now delayed for sure. Thanks for this pure gold, I'll be sure to share haha


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## Thep (May 17, 2012)

Unfortunately, if you read enough of his posts, you'll pickup alot of fishy patterns from the responses: diction, grammar, punctuation, etc...

Its too obvious that most of his new ones are fake. After that realization, they aren't funny at all anymore, imo.


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## highlordmugfug (May 17, 2012)

Thep said:


> Unfortunately, if you read enough of his posts, you'll pickup alot of fishy patterns from the responses: diction, grammar, punctuation, etc...
> 
> Its too obvious that most of his new ones are fake. After that realization, they aren't funny at all anymore, imo.


I don't read enough of them to notice, but if that's the case: boo!


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## Lasik124 (May 17, 2012)

This is just...Amazing.

Thanks for sharing haha!


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## Edika (May 17, 2012)

I just started reading the Go Away site by the Australian guy and must admit I prefer it from the letters from an asshole. Don't get me wrong, he is also funny, but the Australian guy has a much better writing style and is just responding to ridiculous emails. Some of the adds he replied were normal and after the second email they should have realized it was a prank (which one would argue constitutes a worthy victim of humiliation)!


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## tacotiklah (May 17, 2012)

Razzy said:


> Go away
> 
> Worth noting, both of these guys have books out, and they're both fantastic.



Yeah I realized my mistake right after posting it. My bad. 

Here is a classic one from him though:
"yeah thats not what I was looking for at all."

 

Edit: here is the spider drawing one I mentioned-
Next time, I'll spend the money on drugs instead.


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## cycloptopus (May 17, 2012)

"Randy, how do you sound so crisp and clear on your phone?" and I tell them "I'm using a land line! If you want to sound clear, take your cell phone and throw it in the trash!"

fucking epic!!!!


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## Customisbetter (May 17, 2012)

"That will have to do."  I laughed so hard.


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## Sephiroth952 (May 17, 2012)

The xbox repair, lenny's acid trip, and mad phone saleman made me lose it.


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