# Honeybadger named badass of the week



## scherzo1928 (May 11, 2011)

Tittle says it all. 

You might have heard of the honey badger because it's the size of a slipper, but it can kill a lion by slicing it's nuts off and letting it bleed to death. Or for eating cobras... or for being Chuck Norris' zodiac sign.

Badass of the Week: Honey Badger (Ratel)

Just a fragment of the link for those of you who are too lazy.



> That's just how Ratel operates. He's been listed in the Guinness Book of World Records as "The World's Most Fearless Creature" every year since 2002, with no end in sight. A relative of the equally-badass Wolverine, the Honey Badger has no natural predators. This is kind of impressive, since three-foot-long creatures generally don't last long in environments featuring leopards, lions, cheetahs, black mamba snakes, and other savannah beasts, but there you have it. It helps that this thing doesn't screw around when it gets pissed off  the Sir Didimus of wildlife is known to go after anything, anytime, anywhere, and has been known to attack buffalo, humans, wildebeest, jackals, monitor lizards, wild boars, and even lions and cheetahs. If the creature is too huge for the Badger to straight-up eviscerate with its inch-and-a-half long claws or its razor-sharp teeth, the Ratel still knows how to go for the weak spot  the balls. That's right, folks, this thing has been documented as killing male lions by running underneath them and tearing off their scrotums. This is one creature you don't want to go balls-out against.


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## Jakke (May 11, 2011)

that's one badass animal... Been worshipping it since I saw The Gods Must Be Crazy II


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## metal_sam14 (May 11, 2011)

those little guys are intense!


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## BucketheadRules (May 11, 2011)

"That is the most metal thing ever."


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## Explorer (Nov 7, 2011)

Necrobump because Honey Badger just won't stop! He just doesn't give a shit!

My coworkers sent me the vid in the OP this morning, and I couldn't stop laughing. The facts about this creature are even more amazing.

Oh, look! Honey Badger's thread got bitten by a cobra! Honey Badger is going to sleep for a while. Look at his lazy ass! Oh, now he's getting up! He got bit by a cobra, but he doesn't give a shit! That's just how Honey Badger is!

*laugh*


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## rectifryer (Nov 7, 2011)

He ain't care bro!


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## MF_Kitten (Nov 7, 2011)

honeybadger don't care. honeybadger don't give a fuck.


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## Cabinet (Nov 7, 2011)

House full of bees
lol


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## leonardo7 (Nov 7, 2011)

Id like to add: Honeybadger do what honeybadger wants. Honeybadger no give no fuck about nobody. He do what he do and makes sure its your problem, not his


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## MikeH (Nov 7, 2011)

I wish I was a honey badger.


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## SenorDingDong (Nov 7, 2011)

Honey Badger don't care, Honey Badger don't give a shit.


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## Xaios (Nov 7, 2011)

I think we need a face-off:

Honey Badger vs. Rabbit of Caerbannog.


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## Jakke (Nov 7, 2011)

Xaios said:


> I think we need a face-off:
> 
> Honey Badger vs. Rabbit of Caerbannog.



You fool! They might decide to team up!


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## BucketheadRules (Nov 7, 2011)

Honey badger, just to reiterate, do not give a shit.

Fucking badass.


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## Explorer (Nov 8, 2011)

> ...(T)he Honey Badger has no natural predators. This is kind of impressive, since three-foot-long creatures generally don't last long in environments featuring leopards, lions, cheetahs, black mamba snakes, and other savannah beasts, but there you have it. ...If the creature is too huge for the Badger to straight-up eviscerate with its inch-and-a-half long claws or its razor-sharp teeth, the Ratel still knows how to go for the weak spot &#8211; the balls. That's right, folks, this thing has been documented as killing male lions by running underneath them and tearing off their scrotums. This is one creature you don't want to go balls-out against


Holy fuck! Honey Badger doesn't fuck around! That's just how he rolls! He's like, get out of my way, Lion, before I run underneath you and rip off your scrotum! Honey Badger don't give a fuck! 

I also love this description of the vid:



> In the span of about three minutes this ferocious furry psycho climbs up into a tree to battle a six-foot cobra thirteen feet above the ground, somehow catches and eats a bird, chases off a leopard, and digs some sweet holes, but by far the most incredible aspect of the clip is when the Honey Badger takes on a super-deadly African Puff Adder. Now, the Puff Adder is one of the most murder-tastic snakes on the entire continent. One of these vipers possesses enough venom to kill 4 or 5 men, and they are so violent, toxic, and aggressive that they routinely account for more human fatalities than any other African snake. But the Honey Badger doesn't give a crap &#8211; he comes across a puff adder that is eating a rat, and his first instinct is to run up, grab the rat _out of the snake's mouth_, carry it a few feet away, and then eat the rat right in front of the snake just to show the adder that he's a bitch. After eating the stolen meal, the Badger than decides, "Screw it, now I'm going to eat this damn snake too." This really takes being an asshole to another level, which is something I can appreciate. The adder and the Ratel fight, and the Honey Badger kills the viper, but not before being bitten in the face and pumped full of enough venom to kill a creature three times its size. The Badger succumbs to the poison, falls unconscious, but then &#8211; amazingly &#8211; somehow comes _back to life and continues devouring the already-half-eaten snake_. Are you kidding me?!








Honey Badger just does not give a SHIT! Honey Badger says, shove off Lion... before I decide that snake needs a lion-flavored savannah oyster chaser! I just don't care!

*laugh*


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## scherzo1928 (Nov 8, 2011)

Im getting on of these signs!


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## Spaceman_Spiff (Nov 8, 2011)

Xaios said:


> I think we need a face-off:
> 
> Honey Badger vs. Rabbit of Caerbannog.



Don't even need to click on it...You get rep for Monty Python reference!

And back on topic, honey badger is a thug...


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## BucketheadRules (Nov 8, 2011)

Explorer said:


> I also love this description of the vid:
> 
> Quote:
> In the span of about three minutes this ferocious furry psycho climbs up into a tree to battle a six-foot cobra thirteen feet above the ground, somehow catches and eats a bird, chases off a leopard, and digs some sweet holes, but by far the most incredible aspect of the clip is when the Honey Badger takes on a super-deadly African Puff Adder. Now, the Puff Adder is one of the most murder-tastic snakes on the entire continent. One of these vipers possesses enough venom to kill 4 or 5 men, and they are so violent, toxic, and aggressive that they routinely account for more human fatalities than any other African snake. But the Honey Badger doesn't give a crap  he comes across a puff adder that is eating a rat, and his first instinct is to run up, grab the rat out of the snake's mouth, carry it a few feet away, and then eat the rat right in front of the snake just to show the adder that he's a bitch. After eating the stolen meal, the Badger than decides, "Screw it, now I'm going to eat this damn snake too." This really takes being an asshole to another level, which is something I can appreciate. The adder and the Ratel fight, and the Honey Badger kills the viper, but not before being bitten in the face and pumped full of enough venom to kill a creature three times its size. The Badger succumbs to the poison, falls unconscious, but then  amazingly  somehow comes back to life and continues devouring the already-half-eaten snake. Are you kidding me?!



How the fuck does something like that even evolve? It's just ridiculous, like it has super powers or something.

Honey badger don't care. Honey badger don't give a shit.

Also, interestingly, it's actually not really a badger. Genetically it's more similar to a weasel. 
But I'm sure that it'd tear your bollocks off if you dared to suggest such a thing.


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## MF_Kitten (Nov 8, 2011)

i had a conversation with my dad about this phenomena. about small animals being hard as motherfuck.

it's a really weird thing too, but it makes sense. How often would you take on a pissed-as-cunts cat with claws coming out all over the place? never! those things would shred your face like a cheese grater, and it would at the very least hurt a lot and suck ass for a good while. Screw that, let's just ignore it.

Fuck, we are afraid of BEES goddammit. FUCKING BEES! They're TINY!

And then you never know which animals might be venomous or whatever the fuck, so you stay the piss away from every cunting animal that looks like it sincerely hates you.


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## Explorer (Nov 8, 2011)

MF_Kitten said:


> And then you never know which animals might be venomous or whatever the fuck, so you stay the piss away from every cunting animal that looks like it sincerely hates you.



You and me, maybe, but Honey Badger don't give a shit! He's take that rat right out of that puff adder's mouth and eat it right next to that snake, letting that adder know that he's a bitch, before Honey Badger decides to eat the snake too!

That's Honey Badger, b-yatch!


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## scherzo1928 (Nov 8, 2011)

I want a honeybadge pp so bad!


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## rectifryer (Nov 8, 2011)

He is just biding his time.


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## BucketheadRules (Nov 8, 2011)

scherzo1928 said:


> I want a honeybadge pp so bad!



That's almost cute... reminds me of when there's a news story about a serial killer and they put up a photo of him as a kid...


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## All_¥our_Bass (Nov 8, 2011)




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## scherzo1928 (Nov 8, 2011)

All_¥our_Bass;2736564 said:


>




And people wonder why the fuck I want a honeybadger?


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## scherzo1928 (Nov 23, 2011)

ahaha, just found this:





so badass!


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## BucketheadRules (Nov 23, 2011)

Since this has been bumped, thought I'd pop in to say:

Honey badger don't care, etc.


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## murakami (Nov 24, 2011)

the honeybadger must be a real sad individual to pick a fight with everyone it encounters to make himself/herself feel better.... hahaha


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## Explorer (Nov 24, 2011)

Feel better? Feel better?!! Honey Badger just does not give a fuck!

(although honey badger does feel a little bad when people talk about honey badger eating maggots and snakes like it's bad. honey badger thinks calling honey badger "nasty ass" is a little hurtful...)

Okay, fine! You wanna talk about feelings?! Honey Badger will show you feelings... the feelings of Honey Badger ripping off your scrotum! Here's your fresh bag of nuts, loser! Honey Badger just does not give a fuck!!!


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## vampiregenocide (Nov 24, 2011)

BucketheadRules said:


> Also, interestingly, it's actually not really a badger. Genetically it's more similar to a weasel.
> But I'm sure that it'd tear your bollocks off if you dared to suggest such a thing.



Same family of animals though. The mustelidae family comprises all weasels, otters, badgers and the wolverine. The honey badger is in it's own sub-family though.


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