# Let's hear your crazy/funny/messed up stories from High School



## Blytheryn (Oct 21, 2015)

I figured it would be pretty funny to share hilarious stories from high school, because hey... Everyone's got them.

I remember this one time in my Freshman year a guy I knew who went to the music program had learned this one Dimebag bedroom riff (it's on youtube somewhere...) and he had this mini pocket marshall. He goes around our high school all day playing that goddamn riff. Running through the cafeteria, sitting in lessons, chasing people on the street. It was pretty cool.


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## vilk (Oct 21, 2015)

In my high school I saw people beat each other bloody every single day and get arrested for drugs and possession of weapons. U!S!A! U!S!A! U!S!A!


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## Mike (Oct 21, 2015)

When I was learning to code some VB stuff back in I believe 9th grade, I made a simple question and answer program. One of my questions was, "Why did all the dinosaurs die?" The answer: "Because you touch yourself at night."

14 year old me thought it was hilarious. The teacher quietly standing over my shoulder watching me test it did not. This was not the teacher teaching the class, but just another faculty member stopping in to drop something off. After seeing my genius program, the teacher, appalled, went up to the front of the room to make a big deal about it to the actual class teacher. 

The teacher comes over to me and basically says, "I don't care, glad it works right." and walks away. Tattle-tale teacher leaves thinking I'm in trouble.


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## TedEH (Oct 21, 2015)

One of the teachers for the elementary school I went to was fired for lining the students up against a wall and throwing textbooks at them.


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## Blytheryn (Oct 21, 2015)

TedEH said:


> One of the teachers for the elementary school I went to was fired for lining the students up against a wall and throwing textbooks at them.



I used to have this real creepy gym teacher in eighth grade who would say the most awkward .... to people. I remember a girl complaining that he said "That's a great pose" when this girl was warming up. He didn't last too long at our school.


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## ElRay (Oct 21, 2015)

Friend broke his foot. Wouldn't tell us for a long time what happened. Turned-out the bulb blew in the bathroom. He stepped on the toilet to change the bulb. The seat was up. He fell backwards. He laid on the floor, in the dark, with his foot in the toilet, for about 20 mins, until his mom came home.

I was opening my locker; sneezed all of a sudden; hit my head on the locker; got four parallel slits on my forehead from the locker grill; wouldn't say how it happened; took 3 periods before somebody standing right next to me realized that the cuts lined-up with the locker vents.


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## TedEH (Oct 21, 2015)

ElRay said:


> I was opening my locker; sneezed all of a sudden;



Reminds me of a great time when I was sitting in a school bus and turned around to talk to the people behind me- aaaaaaaaaand sudden sneeze- right in their faces. It was amazing.


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## Blytheryn (Oct 21, 2015)

TedEH said:


> Reminds me of a great time when I was sitting in a school bus and turned around to talk to the people behind me- aaaaaaaaaand sudden sneeze- right in their faces. It was amazing.



Oh my god. Just remembered something similar happening to me in 8th grade. I had one of those colds where your snot goes from clear to green to yellow whatever and it has that consistency where no matter how much of it you sneeze out it will stay together in this huge slimy mass? It was one of those colds.

Well we're science class, and everyone is walking around look at different projects that kids in the class have been working on when I get this huge urge to sneeze. Now, I covered my mouth but who ever covers their noses? Well not me. It was a huge sneeze that you have to brace yourself for almost so you don't lose balance. Alright, I thought to myself... That's over with. I look up trying to regain my senses and like 4 feet in front of me is this kid with his back turned wearing a hoodie. That's when horror struck. There's my entire skull's amount of snot all over the back of his hoodie in a plethora of different colors. Mortified, I look around and apparently not a soul saw what happened. Lucky me.

After class ended I was walking towards my locker and I passed a bathroom with the door open. In it was the kid and a friend of his doing whatever they could to clean off the hoodie. All I heard was "Who the .... would ever do such a thing???"


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## High Plains Drifter (Oct 21, 2015)

Oh Lord.... 

That I can tell? 

I'll keep all of this very much abridged. Full details available upon request lol. 

> Evaluated by psychiatrist after drawing picture of teacher completely naked... detailed... in crayon no less. This actually occurred in grade-school, not high-school. 

> Sent to hospital after having nostrils sealed shut from huffing gal can of rubber cement. 

> Busted for selling oregano and dried grass. 

> Busted for siphoning fuel from school bus. 

> Busted for bringing a box-full-o-puppies to school and setting them loose in the cafeteria. Another one that happened in grade-school. 

> Busted for taking a bottle of Hershey's syrup and a bag of spoiled wieners to gym class one time ( foiled prank). 

> Busted for smoking pot in the rest-room during a field-trip to Whatever Air & Space Museum. 

> Received BJ on bus ride back from Cleveland Museum Of Art. That was so cool. 

> Took part in beating up some dude that slashed the tires on our beloved art-teacher's old car. Did not get busted for that one surprisingly. 

> Downed a full bottle of cough-medicine on the bus one morning... then proceeded to spew-chow onto teachers desk during 2nd period Govt class. Also spewed all over police sergeant's desk... but that was another time/ different story. 

> Had sex with g/f on top of Mr. Adams drafting-table while listening to Blue Cheer's "Louder Than God" album. Did not get caught!

Lot's more but those are off the top of my head. Y'all should hear the stories of my teen-years that took place outside of school. Some pretty dark, humorous, and crazy stuff right there... :shudder:


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## watson503 (Oct 21, 2015)

I started high school in 1987, there were a fair amount of headbangers that hung-out in the smoking area and the usual attire was jeans and concert shirts - denim jackets with patches, that kind of stuff. There was one guy that just tried too hard, though - he was really into Motley Crue and Poison but would wear the occasional Slayer or Metallica shirt - we called him Nick the Flit. Nick would wear these gaudy dangling earrings you'd buy at the head shop and those cheesy skull rings that turned green - he was a good enough guy but just tried way too hard to promote this image of something that crawled off the Sunset Strip. So one morning we are all out there smoking before first period and up walks Nick the Flit wearing white and black striped spandex...like the kind Steve Harris wore...Everyone just burst-out laughing. Who the f$%! wears spandex to school?!!!


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## Blytheryn (Oct 21, 2015)

High Plains Drifter said:


> Oh Lord....
> 
> That I can tell?
> 
> ...



NOW THIS IS THE KIND OF STUFF THIS THREAD IS FOR!

How in the hell did you manage to get head on a schoolbus full of kids? That's some heroic .....

Oh yeah, and feel free to include stories from outside of school!


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## TheStig1214 (Oct 21, 2015)

I was not a troublemaker in high school at all. Craziest story I have is building a death ray with my AP Physics teacher out of some wood and a projection TV screen lens.


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## High Plains Drifter (Oct 21, 2015)

Blytheryn said:


> NOW THIS IS THE KIND OF STUFF THIS THREAD IS FOR!
> 
> How in the hell did you manage to get head on a schoolbus full of kids? That's some heroic .....
> 
> Oh yeah, and feel free to include stories from outside of school!



Her name was Kimberly. She was one of those girls that you NEVER expect to wind up in a relationship with. Her family was pretty wealthy ( and I was a poor kid from the sticks) but she would buy all her clothes at vintage shops & Goodwill... so she had this really unique look going on. She was smoking hot... like drop-dead gorgeous and I had always been attracted to her throughout Jr. High. 

In high-school ( junior year) she and I wound up hanging out together more and more ( same friends helped that happen) and so the day that we went on this field-trip, we found ourselves side by side a whole lot. I'll never forget as we were walking thru the museum, she began playfully touching me... nothing sexual... just seemingly innocent "whoopsie" type contact. That led to some hand-holding later in the day and eventually some little peckish-type kissing. This was well before the days of "no public display of affection". 

By the time we were back on the bus and heading home, we were both beginning to get pretty um... whatever lol. We procured one of the last seats together. The rest is pretty self-explanatory... although I really DID think that when she laid her head on my lap that she was tired. Well... She wasn't tired... not tired at all!!! It was winter so we had jackets and stuff and it was dark by that time so ( at least to the best of my knowledge) no one even noticed. What a mess though. I think she threw that scarf away very quickly after that trip iirc lmao.


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## Seybsnilksz (Oct 21, 2015)

I'm a virgin.


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## All_¥our_Bass (Oct 21, 2015)

Details for these? Esp. why you did them?


High Plains Drifter said:


> > Evaluated by psychiatrist after drawing picture of teacher completely naked... detailed... in crayon no less. This actually occurred in grade-school, not high-school.
> 
> > Busted for siphoning fuel from school bus.
> 
> ...


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## High Plains Drifter (Oct 21, 2015)

All_¥our_Bass;4462316 said:


> Details for these? Esp. why you did them?



> Ms. Lane was the bees-knees. I would volunteer to stay after and dump trash, bang erasers, etc. She was all the things that mom was NOT... soothing, smiling, not drunk, motivated to mold me, etc... Our assignment was to draw a picture of our favorite person ( something like that). So I drew her... what a clusterf#@k that was... massive purple bush, bright yellow breasts, and great big orange nipples! Rest of her body and face was green lol. The whole "masterpiece" was something very far removed from any Norman Rockwell Americana print. At least as of a few years ago, I still had the drawing. I'm sure it's buried in storage right now so if I ever find it, I'll definitely post it somewhere lol. In front of the guidance counselor, the principal, the psychiatrist, and my mom... I remember exclaiming in an "ultimate defensive strategy" that there were never any specifics given as to our idol having to be clothed! I didn't get in trouble iirc... just that slightly uncomfortable and embarrassing trip to "the special room". 

* Last time I had been in that room previous to this incident was when I had pulled my pants down to show all the girls my new ( yellow? blue? dunno) underwear and wanted them to touch it as I hobbled towards them... pants down around ankles. I guess I was bit of a free-spirit... or DAMNED proud of that underwear!... dunno. That was another show-n-tell segment that didn't end well. 

> Siphoning gas- Stupid and hanging out with the wrong kid. I knew how to do it and wanted to show off iirc. It wasn't even for my car. Just ignorant stuff. Someone saw it and called it into the admin. I had to pay half for what they said it cost. Wasn't suspended... probably since it happened the last week or so of that school year. Was grounded for a week or two at home plus extra work for no allowance. 

> lmao- Puppies everywhere! Idk... Our dog had given birth to what seemed like 158 puppies.. in reality probably closer to 6 or 7 but still. They were awesome so of course all my classmates needed to see them too! lol... 2nd grade mentality. Didn't tell anyone... just put as many as I could into a large box and dragged it onto the school-bus lol. Got to school and let 'em loose in the hall and they all headed to the cafeteria... peeing and crapping all over as they migrated towards flavor country. My dad was immediately contacted and asked to come get 'em. Kid's were going nuts trying to wrangle the puppies iirc. Didn't get in trouble.. just got "talked to" about it iirc.

> I can't remember what exactly we were planning with the rancid hot-dogs and syrup honestly. I was more the "leg-man" it that one. But the gym teacher/ coach was not amused when he saw me carrying it into the locker room. Sent me straight to the principal where in a strange outcome I was allowed to leave with the bottle of Hershey's chocolate but had to relinquish my rotten franks. Guess they figured that with only half the props that I wasn't a threat any longer lol. No idea what we were planning really. 

> The cough-syrup? To get a buzz. We ingested a lot of strange stuff back then. Slammed it on the way to school, started getting nauseated, got up from my desk knowing I was gonna hurl but didn't make it past the teacher's desk. Was not a good day. No emergency room visit or anything... just got sent home. I still can't stomach cough-syrup to this day... even the flavored kids stuff. Still makes me wanna puke. 

> The cop- Lot longer story. That was real bad because we were intoxicated under-age and driving. Lotta fall-out from that one. Bad time for sure.


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## MFB (Oct 21, 2015)

Only thing I really did in HS was set up a hidden room in the auditorium behind the Senior Play set, and we ended up furnishing it with a spare recliner, full TV and gaming consoles and a bunkbed. Sure enough people started skipping class to go there and play games, or fvck in the beds, and it was insane. We ended up having to slowly sneak the stuff out during the last week of school because there was no reason why we would have been walking around with any of the stuff that was in there; and the admins heard rumors of it but never saw it because we'd hide stuff under blankets etc... so they'd put it together.


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## Blytheryn (Oct 21, 2015)

High Plains Drifter said:


> Lot's more but those are off the top of my head. Y'all should hear the stories of my teen-years that took place outside of school. Some pretty dark, humorous, and crazy stuff right there... :shudder:



You're just waiting for us to beg for more of your antics... MOAR


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## asher (Oct 21, 2015)

MFB said:


> Only thing I really did in HS was set up a hidden room in the auditorium behind the Senior Play set, and we ended up furnishing it with a spare recliner, full TV and gaming consoles and a bunkbed. Sure enough people started skipping class to go there and play games, or fvck in the beds, and it was insane. We ended up having to slowly sneak the stuff out during the last week of school because there was no reason why we would have been walking around with any of the stuff that was in there; and the admins heard rumors of it but never saw it because we'd hide stuff under blankets etc... so they'd put it together.



That's pretty legit. Much more along the lines of what me and my friends would have been inclined to do.


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## jernigant (Oct 21, 2015)

- This one time we were in a computer class and these two kids were sitting at the front of the room smoking and somehow the teacher didn't notice. We came back from lunch and when the teacher opens the door you can see a huge cloud of smoke escape the room and she still didn't say anything. Finally one of my friends makes a loud joke about going out to his car and smoking some weed. She sent him to detention.

- That same kid who got sent to detention later in the year took acid while at school. Someone snitched on him and the cops came and arrested him.

- This other guy I know in that class put a Gatorade bottle in the front of his pants and adjusted to make it look like he had the biggest package in the world. He walked around the lunch room talking to people ( including teachers and the principle) and every single one of them couldn't take their eyes off the front of his pants.


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## Blytheryn (Oct 21, 2015)

jernigant said:


> - This other guy I know in that class put a Gatorade bottle in the front of his pants and adjusted to make it look like he had the biggest package in the world. He walked around the lunch room talking to people ( including teachers and the principle) and every single one of them couldn't take their eyes off the front of his pants.


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## MFB (Oct 21, 2015)

asher said:


> That's pretty legit. Much more along the lines of what me and my friends would have been inclined to do.



I spent probably an hour there each day for maybe 3 months on end, since we set the stage up around March? Skipped a lot of classes to go there and just do absolutely nothing. It was either there or the TV production room.

Along with that we used to leave school all the time to go out and grab snacks from the nearby CVS where my friends worked. I'd usually pick up a big thing of apple juice and just devour it throughout the day. 

OH!

We DID one time order pizzas to the school a day early, we told them "OK, we want 4 ____ pizzas, here for 11:30AM tomorrow." We were gonna pay with cash and everything and just have our own lunch instead of going all the way to the cafe. Well, needless to say, Dominos rolled up half an hour EARLY and right into the Administration office and told them who ordered pizza. 

We show up to where we were gonna meet them, and the professor who's class we were supposed to be at was LIVID before we stepped in the door. Someone grabbed me like, 5 minutes before we went to class and let us know what happened; and that teacher had to pay for the whole order out of his pocket because they wouldnt wait. 

So our teacher, who knew NOTHING about us ordering food, just paid for it out of his pocket before we were even there to answer for our 'crime.' We get in there, and it's just fvcking DAGGERS with laser focus on us. I could've turned coal into diamonds. Everyone heard him yell at us through the door to his office, we then proceeded to pay him and hang in another part of the room aside from everyone.


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## BucketheadRules (Oct 21, 2015)

I don't have many stories... I was a pretty well-behaved, shy kid who got bullied at school.

My class did once make a teacher cry... I wasn't proud of that though, because I'm not an asshole.


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## High Plains Drifter (Oct 21, 2015)

Blytheryn said:


> You're just waiting for us to beg for more of your antics... MOAR



Naw... but there are some pretty good ones... definitely not all funny however. The night that I had to hold my moms head together to keep her from bleeding out all over the bathroom floor and dying is just an example of one of the bad one's... of which there are plenty. 

"Portal Of Hell" is a pretty funny one that wound up on another site but I don't think I'm allowed to link it here. 

"Should I Give Her Back The Condoms?" is another one that went crazy on the web as well as "Love Story" and "Love Story II- The Warming Of The Sauce". Those are some pretty good threads lol. 

"Family Night" is a great one and chronicles one particular evening when I was a kid full of wonder, merriment, and bad judgement lol. 

There are a bunch more but I digress. 

Great thread btw. Some good stuff in here already.


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## tacotiklah (Oct 21, 2015)

-This guy I used to hang out with back in school always had caffeine of some sort in the mornings when we got to school because of his ADHD. If he didn't have caffeine to chill out and focus, his day was pretty much ....ed for getting any work done. So one morning when I meet up with him at school, he has a whole 2 liter of cherry pepsi. He looks at me, says what up, then power chugs that .... in 10 seconds flat. What followed about 30 seconds later is the only perfect 10 I'd ever give to a body function in my entire life.
He gets a slightly discomforted look on his face, then proceeds to belch with enough projection and volume that it echoed throughout the quad and into the neighboring quads. People from across the campus were coming towards us to figure out wtf that ungodly sound was. That man became a belching legend in my mind forever.

-My school used to sell mini pizzas for lunch and my buddy would always get one every day. We both were loners, so we'd just hang out in the back in the empty handball courts during lunch and chow down. Well that area also happened to be infested with seagulls looking for trash to eat. Out of nowhere, my homie throws his half eaten pizza near a flock of them and the carnage that ensued would put D-day to shame. Every time one seagull would rush after the pizza, about 7 others would make a beeline for the first and proceed to peck the .... out it. There was blood, feathers, and torn pieces of pizza everywhere. Mind = blown.

-In my A+ cert class, we were learning about networking (none of that wireless .... mind you as this was 2001), and the teacher challenged us to take 20 something win 98 desktop computers, make custom CAT 9 network cables, and get every computer in the room communicating with each other. So me and 4-5 guys get that rolling in a hurry. Just for ....s n giggles, one of the guys that was fluent with coding in BASIC decided to make a program that played the sound of a police siren rapidly for about 10 seconds. He then made it into a batch program which played the sound upon bootup, and using our newly established network, we sent that batch program to every computer in the class. We also set it up to where we could power them all on with one push of a button on a power strip. 
What resulted next was a most glorious cacophony of police sirens that echoed throughout the room, and into the neighboring rooms, prompting teachers to call security in an attempt to figure out why the police were there. Best. Prank. Ever.
Even better, the teacher was so impressed that we figured out the day's lesson quickly, that he wasn't even mad and we all earned our As for the day. 

-My buddy from high school and I used to play Arms when we were bored and our games usually got pretty brutal. For those that don't know, Arms is basically where you trade off on punching the other person's arm until one of you forfeits. Neither of us gave up, so we'd end up passing a fair bit of time this way. At first, security used to try and break us up thinking we were legit fighting, but they soon figured out that we were just bored and stupid. 
I remember one match got so hardcore that even simple love taps felt like the torture of all 9 circles of hell at once. People were usually so impressed at our enthusiasm that said brutal match ended up being recorded on a few cell phones by other kids passing by.

-The first Jackass movie came out and I remember being so thoroughly influenced, that right after I rolled up in a shopping cart to my school and was acting like I was there to pick someone up. This ended in me being pushed into curbs while in the cart and sent launching. Fun times. 

- I took the ASVAB to get out of class and ended up doing pretty well on the electronics portion. The next month and a half involved me being harassed by every branch of the military to join them. Apparently half-deaf people can't even do basic Naval deskjobs. 

-My freshman year, we had a really bad Algebra teacher that couldn't teach if his life depended on it. Most classes started off with working on a problem, then the rest of the hour and a half was spent with him ranting and raving at the class about whatever the hell was bugging him that day. That dude had some serious problems. Sure enough (as if you needed further proof that high school is a LOT like prison), since he showed weakness, one day his coffee got spiked with laxatives. Poor guy learned the hard way that in life, .... really DOES happen. 

-I took horticulture my freshman year as a science. One afternoon, our teacher was telling us an anecdote about how when she was little, her and her dad were having trouble with squirrels destroying their almond orchard. Story goes that one day she saw her dad loading the gun and she asked why. His response was "Damn squirrels won't stop munching on my nuts."
Yeah, telling that story to a class of freshmen won't cause a sudden explosion of laughter that lasts for several minutes at all... 

All I can remember right now, but I'm sure there's plenty more. High school was weird as hell.


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## Blytheryn (Oct 21, 2015)

High Plains Drifter said:


> Naw... but there are some pretty good ones... definitely not all funny however. The night that I had to hold my moms head together to keep her from bleeding out all over the bathroom floor and dying is just an example of one of the bad one's... of which there are plenty.
> 
> "Portal Of Hell" is a pretty funny one that wound up on another site but I don't think I'm allowed to link it here.
> 
> ...



*googles* the titles sound interesting...


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## High Plains Drifter (Oct 21, 2015)

Blytheryn said:


> *googles* the titles sound interesting...



I'm a moderator on this other site and I know that I closed a couple of those threads because I was getting contacted by ex-girlfriends about them. I can always open them back up or copy/ paste here lol but I don't wanna be "that guy". Lots of good stuff from SSO members in this thread so far.


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## Blytheryn (Oct 21, 2015)

High Plains Drifter said:


> I'm a moderator on this other site and I believe that I know I closed a couple of those threads because I was getting contacted by ex-girlfriends about them. I can always open them back up or copy/ paste here lol but I don't wanna be "that guy". Lots of good stuff from SSO members in this thread so far.



Whatever you feel like man; I would sure like to read some of the titles you listed but if you feel like sprinkling a few around or not that's up to you. 
is 


tacotiklah said:


> I remember one match got so hardcore that even simple love taps felt like the torture of all 9 circles of hell at once. People were usually so impressed at our enthusiasm that said brutal match ended up being recorded on a few cell phones by other kids passing by.



I used to play that with a friend all the time, he always won because he was a dick about it... He knew which nerve to strike with his knuckle and all. 4-5 hits and you were seeing stars. He's one of those guys who can not accept defeat either, so it's not like I ever won. These two other dudes in my class though totally went for it. One guy actually was in a round with another guy so long his skin started to split at a certain point. I witnessed another game of what I can only describe as "spin the coin" where you flick a coin into motion so it spins like a top and you have to keep flicking it to keep it up. If you fvck up then the other guy gets to smash the coin into your knuckles. These guys went until there was blood on the table and the coin was getting skin on it. Nasty ..... More stories when I think of them.


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## jernigant (Oct 21, 2015)

-My buddy and I use to play this game where we would yell really embarrassing, made up things about each other during class changes when the halls were packed with people.
For example:
"KYLE LIKES TO FINGER HIS DOG"

....yeah we got lots of bewildered looks thrown our way.


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## asher (Oct 21, 2015)

High Plains Drifter said:


> I'm a moderator on this other site and I know that I closed a couple of those threads because I was getting contacted by ex-girlfriends about them. I can always open them back up or copy/ paste here lol but I don't wanna be "that guy". Lots of good stuff from SSO members in this thread so far.



Is this the second coming of ZEBOV?


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## CaptainD00M (Oct 22, 2015)

This is less dark than the other one's but it still makes me laugh. Most of my Madness happened in Uni and the years after. Anyway I was in History class at the age of 16 and we were doing a unit of the Suffragettes, it was the first lesson and our teacher affectionally known as Warren B was doing his whole intro and it went something like this:

Warren B: '...But here in New Zealand you won't see anything of the Suffragette movement as we were the first country in the world to give women the vote. Now this was likely more a practical thing as there were hardly any people living here at the time, but still it was a fairly progressive decision in the earlier this century. It took a lot longer for England, America and European countries to follow suit.' He paused and looked around.

Warren B: 'Uh Courtney, can your question wait?'

Courtney: 'No sir its urgent!' suddenly hearing distress in the girls voice we all turn around and look at Courtney who wasn't noted as being a particularly active class participant.

Warren B: 'ok-'

Courtney: 'You mean to tell me that women weren't allowed to vote in other countries because they were women?!' indigence clear in her voice, everyone suddenly wondering when the hell the girl who would occasionally fall asleep in class became a feminist.

Warren B: 'Uh&#8230; well yeah&#8230;'

Courtney stands up slamming her hand on the table: 'Sir thats f****** racist!'

Everyone is stunned, the teacher looks like a racoon in headlights not knowing what to do. He swallows audibly, makes a strange noise before someone took the initiative an said:

'Courtney its sexism. Now sit the f*** down!'


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## asher (Oct 22, 2015)




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## stevexc (Oct 22, 2015)

Hmmmmm. I don't remember much of high school.

There was that one 4/20 where me and some friends, well, indulged, and then went to the school musical. Best musical the school had ever put on (at least, without my involvement).

The entire year where my best friend and I would get to school, sign in at our homerooms, walk over to McDonald's for breakfast, hang out at the mall, grab lunch, get back to the school for the beginning of the actual lunch period, then go to our non-academic courses (concert and jazz band) in the afternoons. Well, that was more like 75% of high school rather than just one year, but still.

The time where I nearly got my ass kicked by being a smartass to a 6'6" muscle-bound jock for threatening his scrawny little drug-dealer friend (who had stolen a friend's iPod adaptor that I had been holding to)... all while wearing a blue Tasmanian Devil costume.

Either of the two haunted houses that we turned the school basement into.

The time our resident dumbass freakshow tried to jump off the third-floor balcony... not to hurt himself or anything, but to get away from the teachers that were trying to restrain him after he tried to beat the crap out of another guy for making out with his girlfriend. Freakshow had a crush on Other Guy's girlfriend, Other Guy made out with his own girlfriend, Freakshow went, well, freakshow. Couple years later out of sheer coincidence Freakshow winds up recording a couple songs for my old band... turns out for being a messed up dumbass, the dude knows how to record.

The time my first band played in the school Battle of the Bands... we did a song for soundcheck while a few random chicks were sitting in the auditorium, then went to the mall for some food. A couple chicks come up to me and ask if I was in that band, so of course I said yes - that was my first experience with how awesome it is to be in a band. Then I introduced the rest of the band and what they played, and of course they were all over our lead singer/guitarist... my first experience with how awesome it's NOT to be the bass player in the band 

Or the time where I gave a stupid pickup line (something about fingering ;D) to a cute chick while I was playing bass in the music room between classes, which lead to us dating for a year and a half... which made me realize maybe being the bass player ain't so bad.

The countless makeout sessions and, more importantly, NES sessions spent in the Student's Union room (non-contributing yet essential member for 3 years!).

The time my best friend and I ran to McDonald's at lunch (fairly late in the period) and got caught in a freak snowstorm on the way back - showed up to band class ten minutes late, completely soaked, carrying a bag of cheeseburgers, denying everything. Band director just facepalmed at us and carried on.

And that's most of what I remember. There was definitely more.


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## Blytheryn (Oct 22, 2015)

stevexc said:


> The time where I nearly got my ass kicked by being a smartass to a 6'6" muscle-bound jock for threatening his scrawny little drug-dealer friend (who had stolen a friend's iPod adaptor that I had been holding to)... all while wearing a blue Tasmanian Devil costume.
> 
> The countless makeout sessions and, more importantly, NES sessions spent in the Student's Union room (non-contributing yet essential member for 3 years!).





When I was in high school we had our lockers in this secluded "basement" type part of the school that you had to go down an small flight of stairs, and the .... that went down there on the reg was crazy. As freshmen the seniors told us that there used to be "Cellar of Incest" scrawled over the arch on the way down, if that's anything to go by. No teachers ever came down there, so all shenanigans were fair game.

Well there was an Amnesty International group room right next to the Christian school group room, and most of our class usually hung out down there because hey, it was secluded, there was a coffee machine and a couch.

I fondly remember pre gaming for school parties in the bathrooms, testing the noise cancellation in the same bathrooms with the GF, guys doing everclear shots off the top of the lockers before class and just chillin'. Going to high school in Sweden was pretty damn awesome.


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## CaptainD00M (Oct 22, 2015)

Stevexc that last one brings me back to a time when I was staying at my friend George's place, with another mate of ours Dan. Dan was gunning to be in the army while George and I were both the kind of kids who qualified for Uni at 17 but hung round just because we wanted to play guitar with our mates and be able to drink when we were at uni.

Anyway George's older brother was pretty cool for a straight laced type guy doing his Ma, he got us a bottle of some Jack knockoff and some coke, not a big one, but enough to get some 16ish year olds half way drunk. So we were watching a film and then Dan says 'Man I've always wanted a road sign in my room.' we all get talking about it and thought 'meh why not be like the cool collage kids in US films and go steel a street sign.'

we went a few blocks over and found a suitable sign and with a pair of pliers and a spanner start trying to get this street sign off while standing on a post box. We had been at it for about 7 unsuccessful minuets when a voice goes:

'Oi what he hell are you doing?' and we all freeze and then I say: 'Its not what it looks like!' the three of us collectively crapping ourselves.

A familiar voice starts laughing and we turn round. Georges older brother was there with a his Girlfriend and a mate and they were laughing at us. Georges older brother, for the life of me I can't remember his name, goes:

'you f***ing noobs, you do it like this!' and then promptly jumps up onto the box and puts his full weight on the sign causing it to snap off, hands it to George and then says. 'Get your arse home before mum and dad figure out where you guys are.' He marches us back home and all the while we are looking at him with awe and appreciation.

Suddenly he wasn't such a straight laces statistics major.


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## stevexc (Oct 22, 2015)

HAH that's great. But one thing... Jack knockoff? Someone made a crappy knockoff of a crappy whiskey? Damn. That must be terrible stuff, haha.




Blytheryn said:


> guys doing everclear shots off the top of the lockers before class



Oh yeah, definitely broke out the booze before every school concert. Did my first shots of Everclear right before going on stage one year, but usually I'd split a mickey of raspberry vodka - tastes alright, girls love it, goes down easy - with a few friends. Good times!


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## Blytheryn (Oct 22, 2015)

How could I have forgotten this one...

Right before we graduated high school we threw a class party and invited all of our teachers. Had everything, from toasts to roasts, to speeches... And lots of booze. I had gotten my appendix removed right before exams, so around 2-3 weeks prior to this party and just as I was going under on the operation table I found out that the nurse who was there was my beloved history teacher's wife.

Well, I tell him this... And without missing a beat he loudly exclaims: "HAHA SHE'S SEEN YOUR P3NIS!" in front of the entire room  

Someone also has pictures of our Philosophy teacher going bottom up with a vodka bottle at around 2:15 in the morning. Some teachers had school the next day, and some were actually in school drunk. Was a great time.


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## CaptainD00M (Oct 23, 2015)

stevexc said:


> HAH that's great. But one thing... Jack knockoff? Someone made a crappy knockoff of a crappy whiskey? Damn. That must be terrible stuff, haha.



Dude Jack in NZ when I was growing up was like $45NZD which is like $30USD so we had cheep local nock offs. Some of which were absolutely dire.

The worst and ironically the most popular was 'Kentucky Blue' which happened to be the one we were drinking.

Yes it was terrible, yes Jack is terrible. But I don't drink these days so I kinda dodge that one


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## asher (Oct 23, 2015)

This thread is awesome


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## CaptainD00M (Oct 23, 2015)

asher said:


> This thread is awesome



I have to agree. This along with Ask Jeff, although that thread seems to have become malnourished of late.


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## Fat-Elf (Oct 23, 2015)

This one time me and my friend went into a supermarket during lunch and bought a beer for both and went to class after that. Pretty much the only crazy thing I did or happened during high school. High school was one big borefest for me.


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## Forrest_H (Oct 24, 2015)

Ooo, story time.

I used to have one of those hoodies where the hood zipped up all the way, but it didn't have eye holes. There was a main gathering point of like literally every kid, and my friends would aim a blind me towards it, arms stretched out to my sides, and I would clothesline like 20 people. Somehow never really got in trouble.

One time, I walked into a bathroom to take care of my bidness, when this kid in the last stall was just stamping his feet as hard as he could. All of a sudden, a deafening scream just burst out for a good 20 seconds, and then total silence. I proceeded to walk to the next bathroom.

During PSAT's, my friend and I really wanted some fast food, so we left in the hopes of not getting caught. Our principal immediately spotted us, and blocked the roundabout with his jeep, jumping into a brisk walk yelling "NOW WAIT JUST A GODDAMNED MINUTE". Without hesitation, my friend, the driver, busted his prelude into reverse, and floored it through the oncoming lane. We never heard anything of it again.

Finally, my close friend Bryce randomly asked me for a dog kennel. It was nearing the end of senior year, but I didn't expect a prank. I didn't have one, but I gave him the name of a friend who did. Now, this is where things get really bad.

Bryce had purchased a goat from a neighboring county, impersonating an agriculture student. He then proceeded to tweet "don't worry vandegrift, I GOAT this". The next day, I came in to find a goat on the roof, with about 100 kids taking pictures. He was promptly told he wouldn't graduate, he was going to jail, and he would never go to college.

Article about this goat: Local students in trouble over senior prank | KXAN.com


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## Vrollin (Oct 24, 2015)

Got a beej in the library when it closed for morning break... That's bout as crazy as it got for me....


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## Varcolac (Oct 24, 2015)

I am a teacher.

My students are on a sliding scale from "all right most things considered" to "total dickhead," but compared to you guys they're angels.


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## MFB (Oct 25, 2015)

Varcolac said:


> Compared to you guys they're angels.



Excuse you, but I helped people get_ laid_, and for kids in high school, I'm pretty sure that elevates me to near angel status.

So ...yeah


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## Explorer (Oct 26, 2015)

Hmm.

I guess most of what you need to know is this:

At some point, my math teacher walked into class as the bell rang, saw his desk and chair were gone, and pointed right at me. "You, go get my desk. Greg, help him carry it."

"Why do you think that I..."

"Let's skip the traditional accusation-denial ritual. I find it so tiresome."

----

At some point, after some incident or another where they were trying to get to the bottom of something, I was pulled into a meeting with the principal, the vice principal, and my guidance counselor. The vice principal was looking at me funny, like he was puzzled, and then he said, "Wait a minute... Aren't you the same X who is on Student Council?"

"Yes, sir."

Then the principal chimes in, "And aren't you the person responsible for the Line-ist Rebellion last month?"

"I don't think it was ever established who set that situation in motion, sir."

The three of them then started a litany of different situations consisting of bizarre pranks for which the responsible party was never identified.

My father gave me a piece of advice which I've valued all my life. "Three can keep a secret... if two of them are dead."

Never toot your own horn. Let a job well done be its own reward.


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## Force (Oct 26, 2015)

I think I had a total of 3 days off in my 5 years of high school.........


......how messed up is that?


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## Edika (Oct 26, 2015)

I was one of the quiet, mind my own business, shy kid in school, mostly in Jr.High and High School. Avoided bad situations and bad influences like the plague as I never really craved validation from people I had zero respect for. And braking stuff, doing stupid pranks and being what adolescent minds consider rebellious wasn't in my scope of interests. 
So no whacky stories like you guys describe, even though I find some of them really entertaining and my currently more "mature" self wouldn't mind engaging in some shenanigans.
One bizarre turn of events in my world view as a high school student (when I assume most of my classmates would get drunk, get laid and smoke weed) was when one of our Physics teachers who was quite religious, trying to get us back to the right path as most of us were questioning the word of the lord, decide to bring his spiritual guide to speak to the whole school. Our then principal was a religious study teacher and by that in my country translates to Christian indoctrination. So he thought it was a good idea. He managed to set the whole thing up and we got to get bored for two hours outside the classroom.
The spiritual guide was becoming increasingly annoying with the 15th century mentality he had and then a friend of mine asked a question mentioning a recent incident of priests not accepting women and girls in the churches that wore pants. So his question was:
"Is it more acceptable to wear pants in church or a skirt resembling a skirt? Because I don't see any priests complaining about that!".
The whole school burst out laughing.

I think the most rebellious act in my school years was to skip class on a specific teacher that havoc ensued during her class. She was unable to keep the class quiet and persisted to teach her class in the most boring fashion, ignoring the kids yelling and chatting the whole time. The class was in a direction I wouldn't be following the next year so I was not interested anyway. We skipped class with a couple of friends a few times and then one of my even more clean cut friends decides to join us. We weren't planning to skip class that day but decided to do so because he begged us. That day the specific teacher decides she had enough of people missing her class, but not of course doing her job correctly, and report us to the principal. We were initially expelled for two days but after our friends "brave" comment that if he'll get the same punishment if it was his first time the principal asked our parents to speak with him first. We got away with the condition to apologize to the teacher. When we voiced our objections due to the situation in the classroom the principle sighed and said he was aware of that still asked us to apologize. Our friend that got us in this situation in the first place suddenly grew a back bone and refused to apologize.


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## Varcolac (Oct 26, 2015)

Oh yeah, Norn Iron* is pretty bad for the Christian indoctrination. The whole ethno-religious orange/green clusterfvckery doesn't help.

I teach in a Catholic school (as an atheist) and we're absolutely fine with evolution and the Big Bang and science in general. On the other hand, the entire board of the UK's premier "creationism-in-the-Science-class" idiot organisation is Northern Irish evangelicals.

We hired one last year on a long-term maternity cover. My mate the Head of RE had to audit all of his lessons for a week when students came to him confused talking about how the guy's first two lessons were all "science is wrong, seven days six thousand years ago!"

*Or "Northern Ireland" as it's spelled and pronounced everywhere else.


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## Rosal76 (Oct 26, 2015)

This story happened during my senior year in high school which was in 1995. 

Lunch period is over and the bell rings for all students to go back to class. Students have 3 minutes to get their books from their lockers, use the bathroom, walk towards their class, etc, etc, etc. Me and some of my friends are about to enter the school building from the outside courtyard where we eat lunch when one of us notices a dead squirrel in the grass. Trying to be funny, one of my friends says, "hey, let's put the dead squirrel in someone's locker". I was like, "and how in the hell are we gonna do that? You gonna stand behind someone and try to memorize their combination without them noticing you, wait for them to walk away, open their locker while holding a dead squirrel in your hand in under 3 minutes?"  So one of friends is looking over students shoulders, seeing if he can memorize their combination and it isn't working because he's not being sneaky and because he's laughing too hard which in turn, is making us laugh too and making students suspicious. I'm like, "dude, this isn't gonna work. Our time is almost up and I don't want to be in detention for being tardy to class". So one of the guys gets the dead squirrel, walks up to a classroom door, does not walk across the door to make sure anyone sees him and flings as hard as he can, the dead squirrel into the classroom. He looked like a S.W.A.T. team member throwing a flashbang into a room full of robbers or something. And we freaking took off. I did hear a few girls screaming but not anything else because we were running away from the class laughing.

We expected to hear a announcement over the intercom about the incident but nothing was reported. I personally would be really pissed if I got hit with a dead squirrel but it was high school, so.


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## CaptainD00M (Oct 28, 2015)

jernigant said:


> -My buddy and I use to play this game where we would yell really embarrassing, made up things about each other during class changes when the halls were packed with people.
> For example:
> "KYLE LIKES TO FINGER HIS DOG"
> 
> ....yeah we got lots of bewildered looks thrown our way.



You know unfortunately this one isn't high school, but this reminds me of my second year of undergrad. My mate had a flat on top of a pizza joint in the middle of a small strip of shops in a relaxed middle-class suburb in the hills above our uni.

They had a massive lounge with windows you could climb out of (we regularly did much to the chagrin of the Pizza joint) that opened out onto the street. When we were bored or had had a couple beers in the afternoon after Uni we would look up words in the dictionary and yell them out into the street with the definition.

My favourites were:

'CATAMITE a pubescent boy who was the intimate companion of a young man in ancient Greece and Rome, usually in a pederastic relationship with an older man!'

'DENDROPHILIA the abnormal sexual attraction to trees and or shrubs. See EVIL DEAD 2!'

'PEDERASTY a homosexual relationship between an adult male and a pubescent or adolescent male.'

'ANIMAL HUSBANDRY the process of sticking a horses ..... into ones rear end for sexual gratification. Can lead to internal injury and death!'


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## Blytheryn (Oct 28, 2015)

I actually learned two new words there


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## CaptainD00M (Oct 28, 2015)

Blytheryn said:


> I actually learned two new words there



The System works!


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## asher (Oct 28, 2015)

Definitely scaled significant buildings in college and yelled Monty Python quotes and "You must construct additional pylons" and .... to confused first years. Also a high powered laser pointer. One unwary target included the girl who I started dating a month or two after


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## Blytheryn (Oct 28, 2015)

asher said:


> Definitely scaled significant buildings in college and yelled Monty Python quotes and "You must construct additional pylons" and .... to confused first years. Also a high powered laser pointer. One unwary target included the girl who I started dating a month or two after



You'd probably get in a ton of .... for that laser pointer these days. Hell we'd all be in a ton of .... if we pulled of any of this stuff these days.


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## asher (Oct 28, 2015)

It was only like four years ago!

We made sure we weren't flashing it at drivers of cars (but definitely people on busses) and obviously if a cop went by. We moved after 30-40 minutes, just to be safe.


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## tacotiklah (Nov 4, 2015)

Not really high school related, but I remember walking around town with some friends one day and we were passing by a local hospital. I have no clue how it started, but within minutes my friends were acting like they were trying to commit me to the mental ward, I was screaming random crap about eating cats and telling people to let Jesus fuck them. 
After a few minutes of said shenanigans, we got booted off the property by security. Come to think of it, I used to deal with being socially awkward by being insanely impulsive. This made for some interesting memories for sure.


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## Blytheryn (Nov 8, 2015)

There used to be a few classes in high school where the teachers weren't so hardass, and I got away with some pretty funny .... in them. Once in Psychology the teacher was talking about cultural norms or some BS and asked the class something like what aspects of being in other countries would make a person uncomfortable. He went on to specify particularily middle eastern countries such as Turkey etc... I can tell you that "terrorism" wasn't the answer he was expecting.


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## youngthrasher9 (Nov 16, 2015)

^that sounds like something I would have said.


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## youngthrasher9 (Nov 16, 2015)

Now, I was homeschooled my entire life. Through a charter school though, so I actually had to keep records and be able to show my work was legit. But anywho, I'll share a few things I did in the high school years:

-attempted to build a butane rocket in the middle of the city. I didn't need the hair on my hands anyway.
-using a rope to pull a 30ft+ pine stree nearly horizontal so a friend could ride it like a rollercoaster when I let go. (Works great btw)
-built a fully operational compressed air cannon that hurled mandarin oranges out of sight. 
-got chased by a mother black bear. Turns out my overweight father is faster than an Alabama state football safety when properly motivated.
-dipped pinecones in the liquid from glow sticks and rained glowing hell upon a campsite full of sleeping dooshmonkeys. Turns out that liquid has a bleaching effect on dyed canvas tents.
-ignited a handful of dry diary free coffee cream in a church kitchen creating a momentary 2ft flameball while waiting for a friend to finish a section of STAR testing. Hilarious.
-built bows and arrows with a friend out tree branches for a science fair and actually won (5 grade?)
-built a compressed air/water rocket system using bottles for rockets, and nearly getting hit by a Pepsi bottle cranked to 95psi because we forgot to tie down the launch pad before pulling the release mechanism. Dented the metal shop door behind me at crotch level. I'm lucky. (7th grade?) also won the science fair that was for.


Tons more, some not really fitting the category, and some I probably shouldn't admit too. lol


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## Blytheryn (Nov 17, 2015)

youngthrasher9 said:


> -got chased by a mother black bear. Turns out my overweight father is faster than an Alabama state football safety when properly motivated.



Holy crap :O


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## Slunk Dragon (Nov 17, 2015)

I was so horribly straight-laced in high school, and this was in a nice neighborhood too.

There's two memorable stories I have, neither I really was involved in.

The first was, my Freshman year, some kid from the next city over (both cities are Detroit suburbs, folks) transferred, and was apparently being made fun of or didn't like the way he was being treated. So he grabs five of his buddies from Ghetto High, comes over, and starts this MASSIVE fight in our school. Like fifteen kids, just brawling the fvck out in the middle of B Building.
In the aftermath of that, we had city police as security guards for the remainder of the month, and a SERIOUS lanyard ID policy, where you had to wear them around your neck at all times, instituted for the next four years. And we had twice as many security guards, too. Just simple guys in fancy polo shirts, no tasers or billy clubs. This was "Middle and Upper-Class Wealthy High School".

The other story is one buddy had to borrow lunch money from another guy, who was absurdly smart. Like it was maybe 25 cents, extremely miniscule. And he agreed to pay the guy back, but the smart guy being the extreme [email protected] that he is, decides only if he agrees to pay compounded interest daily on it.
In simple math terms, the first day it was 25 cents, the next day it was fifty, then a dollar. And then as a joke, after about a month, the borrower was so far in debt, he pretty much owed the smart kid his soul.

I myself, was so boring it hurt.


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## BrailleDecibel (Nov 18, 2015)

I was a pretty good kid in high school, so I don't really have many stories to add to this thread, but your stories were hilarious! The closest thing I have to a story was that my group of friends was once thought to be a gang in high school...we were the metalhead/goth kids, and everyone referred to us as "The Freaks", and somehow the principal caught wind of it and made some kind of reference to us being a gang, just because we all wore dark clothing and had weird hairstyles. I distinctly remember one day, when I showed up to school with my hair done up in liberty spikes, and I was sitting at the lunch table with my friends, and one of the teacher's aides came up and asked "Are you guys alright?", like we were planning a school shooting or something. The worst we were guilty of was awful fashion choices.


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## Blytheryn (Jan 4, 2016)

Just going to give this thread a bump because I'm sure many people still have some funny stories to tell!


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## incinerated_guitar (Jan 5, 2016)

During my junior year of high school, some girl went down on her boyfriend during lunch in one of the academies (outdoors btw). Well of course, everybody gathered 'round to cheer her on, and one of the older teachers walked by and simply said "Knock it off.." and then walked away


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## TheDuatAwaits (Jan 5, 2016)

In 11th grade, my art teacher was eating a caramel apple. She said "it's sticky in my mouth". My immature self at the time(implying I've changed) laughed at her. 

She suspended me.


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## Blytheryn (Jan 5, 2016)

I used to try and drop as many innuendo laden words in my analyses in English literature as I could. I swear the teacher would face palm every time I used "saucy", "turgid", "flaccid" or "lewd" in a sentence. I I think I did a pretty good E.L James. Good times.


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## lelandbowman3 (Jan 5, 2016)

There was a special education student at my high school that everyone called "Cowboy" because his parents dressed him up like Jon Voight complete with bolo tie, embroidered western button-up, and ten-gallon hat. If you told Cowboy that someone took his Jim Beam, he'd get really REALLY mad, walk over to them and start yelling "WHYYOUTOOKMYJIMBEAM????" and beat them up. 

So needless to say, there were a lot of people who took Cowboy's Jim Beam.


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## naw38 (Jan 6, 2016)

I once made out with a dude at high school because he was ill. I hated school and thought I could catch his cold, get well sick, and take some time off. I neither got sick nor increased my popularity. 

Got head from the local pastors sons girlfriend in one of the music rooms. Sorry for whoever had to play that piano after I left.

Instead of actually taking my end of year exams, I covered them in pictures of Sailor Moon and Cradle of Filth lyrics. I got told the next year, by the only teacher I liked, that I'd basically ....ed my life up and that me doing that would even impact my ability to get my drivers license.

There was this time all the teachers had a strike. So, not long after that, all the students had a strike. We went out to the local park. She me girl gave me some cocaine, then I watched some dickhead beat up some poor kid just cause he as fat. I feel bad about not stepping in. But also not, because the fat kid turned out to be a complete .... who forced himself on my ex girlfriend. .... that guy.


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## High Plains Drifter (Jan 6, 2016)

Reading these bj stories sparked a couple of notable ones from my past- 

So- Coming home from a ski-trip out west. My girlfriend picks up me and my mom at the airport in my Cutlass ( that I had left at her parents house for whatever reason). It's nighttime/ super late. Worth noting at this point that my g/f was a freak and I was even more crazy than she was. I was maybe 17 yrs old and I guess my g/f was probably 16. So I take the keys since it's my car. My mom gets in the back seat and my g/f jumps in the passenger seat up front. Once we get away from the airport, she decides to lay her head on my lap... wanting to take a nap iirc. Keeping in mind that my mom is wide awake in the backseat. Well... that innocent little nap quickly escalated. In a matter of minutes she was gobblin' the goblin as I tried to gracefully navigate traffic, pouring rain, and my mother's random comments from the backseat. After dropping my g/f off at her house, my mom and I proceeded home. I remember right before getting back on the road, I asked her if she wanted to get in the front seat. She very curtly replied "I don't think I want to sit up there." No more was discussed about that particular night. 

Few years later, I had this girlfriend that was also pretty freaky. I was working part time at a gas station/ convenient store 3rd shift. So it was pretty dead in there in the early morning hours aside from the night owls. Well she come's in and we talk about it and decide that we need some "alone time" lmao. So we opt for the uber-romantic chip/ snack isle. Tbh it was the only isle in the store that didn't have security camera surveillance. Right there on the concrete floor in front of Chester Cheetah and all his peeps, we bang hard and loud... WITH the front doors still unlocked!! Anyway- no one came in and we didn't get caught. Brought whole new meaning to "Quickie Mart". 

I've got plenty more but those are two kinda funny ones that I figured were worth throwing in here.


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## Blytheryn (Jan 6, 2016)

High Plains Drifter said:


> Reading these bj stories sparked a couple of notable ones from my past-
> 
> So- Coming home from a ski-trip out west. My girlfriend picks up me and my mom at the airport in my Cutlass ( that I had left at her parents house for whatever reason). It's nighttime/ super late. Worth noting at this point that my g/f was a freak and I was even more crazy than she was. I was maybe 17 yrs old and I guess my g/f was probably 16. So I take the keys since it's my car. My mom gets in the back seat and my g/f jumps in the passenger seat up front. Once we get away from the airport, she decides to lay her head on my lap... wanting to take a nap iirc. Keeping in mind that my mom is wide awake in the backseat. Well... that innocent little nap quickly escalated. In a matter of minutes she was gobblin' the goblin as I tried to gracefully navigate traffic, pouring rain, and my mother's random comments from the backseat. After dropping my g/f off at her house, my mom and I proceeded home. I remember right before getting back on the road, I asked her if she wanted to get in the front seat. She very curtly replied "I don't think I want to sit up there." No more was discussed about that particular night.
> 
> ...



Haha, those took "balls"


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## All_¥our_Bass (Jan 6, 2016)

High Plains Drifter said:


> ... "Quickie Mart" ....


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## Hollowway (Jan 6, 2016)

Love this thread! I'll chime in when I have more time, but the goat story made my day. Someone give that man a job! Or a company to run! He can definitely get stuff done.


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## CaptainD00M (Jan 6, 2016)

Oh I remember another one we used to do. When I was in High School it was still legit for the school nurse to give out aspirin and paracetamol to the kids, I think now its gotten a little more complicated.

Anyway we used to have the have the paracetamol challenge where we would collect as many as we could from the nurse and then stand in the quad and challenge each other to chew on as many as possible. If you've ever done this you know that Paracetamol tastes foul, so after doing this we would then have to skull a coke and try and keep it down. Inevitably someone always threw up or ended up back in the nurses office.

In other drug related news we had one kid who used to sell his ADHD medication, one of my friends sat in the back of class one day and crushed it up during the lesson with some paracetamol and snorted it. He seemed normal for about ten minuets but then asked to be excused to use the bathroom.

Last time we saw him that day he was sprinting across the school field laughing like a mad man.

I never tested it but my mates told me that the ADHD stuff we had in NZ was like speed if you didn't have ADHD. Although having never taken pure speed I can only theories what thats like.


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## lemeker (Jan 7, 2016)

I was a senior in high school in southern Ga during the LA riots in the mid 90's. I happened to be in a current events class at that time, and we here having a discussion on it. The teacher was bringing up some points about it. I don't exactly remember everything she was saying, but the last question she asked was something along the lines of: "With everything that has gone on with the event and rioting what has anyone really gotten out of this.....?

I was "kinda" (used very loosely) thinking out loud, and said tvs, vcrs , stereos...at which point the entire class busted out laughing, including myself. 

She then began to lecture me about something, I wasn't really paying attention at that point, and then proceeded to tell me that I was, and I quote, "Stupid Stupid Stupid and I could go to hell." In front of the other 16 kids in the class.

I was in tears from laughing so hard. 


Another thing that happened, not to me, was our spanish teacher getting fired for pulling some kids pants down (for having his jeans too low around his waist, pretty much around his ass) during the 1st and busiest lunch period. The principle, I believe, saw the whole thing too. I wish I would have seen that. I had already left ditching out on the ....ty pep rally we had later that day.


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## dr_game0ver (Jan 7, 2016)

Ha yeah, high school... Drugs, alcohol, teen pregnancy, drunk teacher, setting things on fire, teachers 25mn late, stealing things from money to calculators and video game consoles (the PSP was just out at the time), breaking walls, computers, chairs, tables...
And the restaurant had a free coke fountain...that lasted only a year.

and that was just my first year at a private school studying electronic.


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## Kobalt (Jan 7, 2016)

I don't really have anything that particularly stands out, just overall partying and entertaining mayhem.

The only thing worth mentioning was when a switch flipped in my head and I threw a stool (and I mean...I ....ing fastball'd the ....ing thing!) at the arts teacher. Was sent to juvi for the rest of that year, and even there managed to be thrown in the "hole" (a dark room with nothing but a small plexiglass window) because one day I threatened the French teacher.

I still don't remember why any of this happened.


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## Emperor Guillotine (Jan 7, 2016)

My high school years just flew by, and I spent the time keeping a low profile, so I don't really remember much happening. I do faintly recall there being a lot of events that were similar to what dr_game0ver described though. I would need a bit more time to see how much I remember. There was some stuff being set on fire, a kid got his face smashed in with the claw end of a hammer in the hallway, lots of racial conflict between black kids and redneck kids, there was a bomb threat at one point, and theft was abundant (especially for any of the PE classes when you had to leave stuff in the locker rooms). There also are a lot of running jokes between currents students and between former students about the abundance of whores at the high school that I went to. (I graduated four years ago, and I still read about it or hear about it now more than ever.)

I do, however, remember one particular instance that occurred during my sophomore year. We had this student teacher (from the local university - like a temporary intern). She was a good teacher, but being her the first REAL class that she had taught, she kind of tried to overly enforce her position as a teacher above the students in the class. One day, she was being really uptight, so one of the students in the class said to her: "You need to loosen up" - to which her reply was: "Trust me, I am loose."    The whole class about died laughing. She was SOOO embarrassed.

I remember that during my junior year, one of my classes (a super early 7AM class) had a teacher whom all the students loved. We took her and her (at the time) fiancée out for dinner. And one day when the class was cancelled, we arranged an early morning meet-up at the local IHOP. A bunch of us showed up, and the teacher also showed up. Today, there is a funny picture of her (with me and a few others in the picture) hanging somewhere in her classroom that was taken from that IHOP meet-up.

High school was alright for me. I kind of shut out most of the bad stuff. But you guys all know how it went in high school. We were all exposed to a lot of new stuff. It's interesting looking back now and seeing where people are at. The kid who got his face bashed in with the claw end of a hammer got arrested awhile back for sexually assaulting a young child (like a VERY young child probably of the age of eight or under). Another guy got arrested for forcefully prostituting a sixteen year old girl, and he got slapped with a one million dollar bail. A lot of other people have just burned out due to drugs and alcohol and are currently doing nothing with their lives except rotting or waiting to get busted for pedaling drugs or possession of drugs. Oxycotin and heroin are extremely prevalent in the streets here. Stupid people everywhere continuing the "party lifestyle" long after the timeframe for that lifestyle has ended.


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## CaptainD00M (Jan 8, 2016)

At my final high school (I had three) I was doing Chemistry in correspondence because there were only 30 of us in the final year and two doing chem as most of the people I went to that school are still working in Bars, in restaurants as wait staff or supermarkets etc&#8230;

Anyway so we would have our class at the same time as one of the lower years where chemistry was mandatory but the teacher would leave us too it at the back. So it was organic chemistry day and that meant playing with long chain hydrocarbons.

log chain hydrocarbons burn, and some are solid at room temperature so Rhys and I decided it would be hilarious to light up a ball of this stuff, I think it was some compound of butane with a high melting point, so we're casually tossing this thing back and fourth before it burns out hands then Rhys dumps it on the table and we just stood there watching it burn till we hear the teacher yell:

'why are you just looking at it?!' to which I reply with the only sensical thing I can think of.

'Because its cool miss!' Rhys creases up as do the 15 or so 14 year olds and I get sent to the lab tech to explain why there are scorch marks on the workbench and then come back and give a very unconvincing presentation about fire safety to the rest of the class.


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## Blytheryn (May 16, 2016)

Bumping this again, because we could all use some more good stories.


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## FEcorvus (May 16, 2016)

we had a geography teacher who was like 80 something, and either had narcolepsy or put himself to sleep out of boredom, every day he would fall asleep In the middle of his le ture and the class would shoot rubber bands and throw condoms at him until the bell rang, one guy got suspended for taking his keys while he was passed out, hiding them, and giving him a treasure map to find them

the band bus I rode to state competition on was a borderline under the blankets orgy in the middle seats

In my metal trades class me and a friend welded together a bunch of scrap into person sized robots and gave one to our english teacher

one of my friends was a professional weight lifter and body builder, and moved a teachers truck (it was a utility truck) over a parking space by lifting the front and back alternately

I pretended to propose to one of my teachers in the hall with a taco bell sauce pack that said will you marry me, but him being like 7 and a half feet tall and me being shorter than the average person he stepped OVER me and completely ignored the whole thing, didn't even so much as glance in my direction

some I've heard 
one of his classmates jumped off a fire tower on a dare and broke his leg
2 of his friends got pissed off at each other and to settle the differences they went out and shot at each other with birdshot from across the field


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## AngstRiddenDreams (May 16, 2016)

FEcorvus said:


> some I've heard
> one of his classmates jumped off a fire tower on a dare and broke his leg
> *2 of his friends got pissed off at each other and to settle the differences they went out and shot at each other with birdshot from across the field*



Sounds like natural selection is going strong.


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## Blytheryn (May 16, 2016)

FEcorvus said:


> 2 of his friends got pissed off at each other and to settle the differences they went out and shot at each other with birdshot from across the field



I LOL'ed so hard trying to picture this.


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## broj15 (May 16, 2016)

Once upon a time a friend of mine flicked a spoonful of peanut butter in a random direction and it just so happened to hit the eye of the only kid in our school who was allergic to peanuts. He ended up going to the emergency room and missed a week of school because his eye was swollen shut. My friend was only suspended for 3 days so he considered it a win lol.


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## Ebart (May 18, 2016)

Garbage night was always the best in my town. We took my friends minivan and loaded it up with whatever we could find, couches, toilets, TVs...took em to the top of a parking garage and, well...


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## welsh_7stinger (Jun 11, 2016)

These are from when i was in secondary school. I cant remember exactly how old i was when these happened but it was between 12 and 17.

-We had this assembly with the deputy head talking to us, just for this guy was a true hard ass. My school h ad a relatively strict no mobile phones and eh told me once he was in a 'phone taking mood'. Well during this assembly he was talking to us all and then suddenly someone's phone went off.....The ring tone was crank dat by soulja boy. Every one just burst out laughing and then he just stood there shaking his head and with his finger tips on his nose and just said 'that takes the biscuit'. 

-In wales there is a welsh youth group called the urdd. they put on trips for welsh schools to places in wales and to europe. Well we had a trip to spain. We took a coach up and back . Well on the coach was a dvd player and a screen. We just finished at a tourist site in Barcelona and as the driver started the engine, the tv came on.... At this point everyone was facing the screen apart from the person in charge of the trip.......As it came on it started playing a hardcore porn dvd, In typical style EVERYONE facing the tv burst out laughing, even the staff. The driver switched it off before the person in charge saw it and had no idea why we were all laughing.

-During one of my art classes when i was doing my GCSE's i was doing a drawing based on cemetery drive by my chemical romance. Well we had a teacher that we all called Dr Death cause of how much of a hardass she was, she came into the class to look around and stuff. she came over to me and put her hand on my shoulder and once i told her what it was her grip tightened. I amazed she didn't try and get me assessed or something. 

-This one is a bit more on the violent side of secondary school. there was this kid that was a absolute douchbag and i mean tries to act all tough and s*** well during a lesson he was being a ass to me and i just got fed up and without hesitation i kneed him full pelt into his nuts. He unsurprisingly fell to the floor crying. During this a teacher's assistant was present and saw the whole thing and said nothing to me. One of the teachers near by came in and saw him on the floor and asked what happened and i put my hand up and admitted to it. He said nothing to me. Well as we were leaving the class room the teachers assistant came up to me and simply said he most likely deserved it. 

I do have some more stories. Nothing like what some of you guys have posted cause i was the quiet guy. I may post more if anyone's interested.


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## FEcorvus (Jun 11, 2016)

AngstRiddenDreams said:


> Sounds like natural selection is going strong.



Weirdly enough iirc, one of them ended up in a car wreck and died, the other got an electrical engineering degree


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## PunkBillCarson (Jun 12, 2016)

Most of the things that I've seen are relatively tame compared to what you guys have posted. 

>Kid jerked off on the bus to a girl he liked. I was so shocked by the act that I was actually witnessing it, that I went into fits of hysterical laughter

>There was the kid who would always backtalk the teacher, cuss at her.

>One kid shit his pants right in the middle of class after farting many times, quoting "Nutty Professor" while doing it. Everyone knew he did it too, because his face went from laughing to really bright red and a horrified face. Our teacher wasn't even mad, instead laughing at him and told him to go to the nurse.


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## Ebony (Jun 12, 2016)

A group of kids from junior high came to see the school I went to my first year. 
Apart from the smell of weed seeping from the men's bathroom and the brown toilet paper sticking to the ceiling, they also got the chance to see an old man slap a girl around because she had offended his niece. 

As if the police patroling the buildings wasn't enough to warn them...


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## Blytheryn (Nov 10, 2016)

Bumping for the lols.


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