# Talent show... Uneven match.



## Tukaar (Oct 30, 2008)

Okay, my stoner metal band (Thorr-axe) is going to be playing a talent show at my high school. Great.

The only competition in the band category is (in my words) an instrumental 2-piece (guitars and drums) Underoath/Chiodos cover band. 

We're playing in a gym, which should make the sound carry VERY well. (We auditioned in a cafeteria, and our drummer's bass drum sounded like a 12 gauge going off .) 

We seem to have a gear advantage over them, too. As far as gear goes, "Tight Pants Timmy" as we call their guitarist is armed with a Fender 15 watt practice amp and an Ibanez RG.

In contrast, my gear:
Guitar: Epiphone G400 Vintage SG
Amps: Fender FM100 half stack (surprisingly VERY loud)
Effects: Behringer UD100 Ultra Distortion, Boss DD-3 Delay.

Our drum kit is a 4 piece compared to their 6, but we don't need extra drums. we've got the bass, tom, snare, and floor tom. On top of that, we have the hi-hat, crash, and crash/ride cymbals. 

Oh, and we actually have a bass player. 

 Comments? Thoughts?

It may be our first ACTUAL gig, but none of us are particularly nervous.


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## gaunten (Oct 30, 2008)

just kick some ass man. how big of an audience do ya think you'll have?


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## Tukaar (Oct 30, 2008)

About 400 people. Lots of people from the school wanting to see their kids do some kind of song/dance routine. 

This is going to be FUN, whether we win or not.


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## Harry (Oct 30, 2008)

Drink a few beers beforehand to calm the nerves

Seriously though, if it's your first time playing in front of a fair amount of people, expect some degree of nerves.
It sounds almost silly, but smile A LOT at the audience (or looking anywhere really, the point is to smile) before you start playing and you'll find you will start to feel more relaxed

And geezus, a 15 watt practice amp is going to sound like shit
Makes sure you bring earplugs to arm yourself against the horrible tone of that guy with the 15 watt amp


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## rectifryer (Oct 31, 2008)

Just make sure you have a boner the entire time.






What?? It always helps me.


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## Harry (Oct 31, 2008)

^


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## Zepp88 (Oct 31, 2008)

Nothing matters except for the way you perform.


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## Apophis (Oct 31, 2008)

^^^


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## TonalArchitect (Oct 31, 2008)

Rocking the school talent shows is awesome. I did it twice, junior and senior year. The first year was a guitar battle with my longtime friend and former bandmate. The second was a solo performance of Al Di Meola's "Fantasia Suite." 

I'm a bit of an odd duck, I personally didn't look forward to the performance (same thing when I've been in plays), but when people talk to you afterwards... that's wonderful. 

Good luck, and remember, it's a talent show, not battle of the bands. You're there to show your awesome, not out-awesome another.


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## jymellis (Oct 31, 2008)

make sure ya practice a bit before hand so everything is smooth.


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## Randy (Nov 2, 2008)

Zepp88 said:


> Nothing matters except for the way you perform.


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## ZeroSignal (Nov 2, 2008)

Always remember:
1. Blessed is the mind too small for doubt.
2. Success is commemorated; Failure merely remembered.
3. Hope is the first step on the road to disappointment.

And finally...
4. Success is measured in blood; yours or your enemy&#180;s.



Bloody 'ell... I've been playing Dawn of War a bit too much.


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## CrushingAnvil (Nov 4, 2008)

Just rock the fuck out bro!


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## Tukaar (Nov 7, 2008)

Okay, we played the show. We rocked tits. But we got second... AFTER THOSE ASSCLOWNS. 

But, my friends, I have a completely logical explanation for our perceived failure. 2 out of the 3 student judges HATE us on a personal level (Probably due to the fact that me and the drummer are total assholes when we're not playing.). As for the third judge, that dude fuckin' gave us a 10!!!

However, regardless of their band ("Define The Key Words") victory in the awards ceremony, we ended up winning in the long run. Let us review:

1.) We ended up gaining about 20 new fans last night. Most of which were completely obnoxious about their almost slavish devotion to us. In comparison, some of their fan base actually went over to us! (Let the emo kid to pure stoner conversion BEGIN!!!) Crowd comparison: 

Our end: 
10 already established fans.
+
20 newcomers.
=
30+ people.

Their end:
The drummer's dad
+
4 fangirls, 3 emo girls
=
8. 



2.) We did an encore after the awards, as our fans DEMANDED it. (We covered "Dragonaut" by Sleep.) However, the other band felt as though they needed to do one too (Even though noone ASKED for one, thereby breaching the infallible law of encores.), their encore consisting of yet another A-B-C-D-E-F-G styled structured song. Not to mention that any "metal" credentials that they were hoping to achieve were shattered when they blazed through covers of Green Day, Dashboard Confessional, and Red Jumpsuit Apparatus IN A FUCKING MEDLEY. 

3.) We, without a question, had a MUCH larger population of chicks on our end. (Ours were better looking, too. ) 

4.) Their fans, that always talk about how many "loud rock" concerts they've been to were complaining about how loud we played FROM THE OTHER SIDE OF THE FUCKING GYM.

5.) In contrast to their imaginary (nonexistent) bass player, our master of the low end of the frequency spectrum shook the bleachers with his first open "C" note.

Funny note: We did a gear comparison. Without a doubt, in the words of my girlfriend their gear was shinier and much more recently made and up kept in a decent fashion, but ours had MUCH more personality. For example:

My guitar of the night is currently held together with Gorilla Glue (I shit you not, it put more bass in it!)

Our drum kit was rather dusty and nasty and covered in duct tape.

The wheels of my cabinet had come off the night before the gig, so I had to carry this bastard myself across the floor.

My preamp that is was feeding into the front end of my head was built in 1988 (see below.). 

My gear for the night:
Guitar: Epiphone G400 Vintage SG.
Amps: ADA MP-1 Preamp, Fender FM100 head, Fender FM412 cabinet.
Effects: Boss DD-3 Delay.

Check out MySpace.com - Thorr-axe - BLOOMFIELD, Indiana - Metal / Blues / Psychedelic - www.myspace.com/thedoomwizard for pics!!!


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## auxioluck (Nov 7, 2008)

Playing contests is all about who you know, man. Don't even let those guys stay on your mind. Get out and get some REAL shows, let them deal with playing in the basement.


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## Tukaar (Nov 7, 2008)

auxioluck said:


> Playing contests is all about who you know, man. Don't even let those guys stay on your mind. Get out and get some REAL shows, let them deal with playing in the basement.



Technically, WE'RE the ones in the basement. 

Their guitarist is one of the rich kids and lives in a really big house on the northwest side of town where the other rich people live, so he's probably practicing his palm-muting in drop-d tuning on the second floor in said mansion.

Strange... If he's rich, why was he using a Fender FM25R combo amp rather than a stack?  The plot thickens....


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## rectifryer (Nov 7, 2008)

Must've not played with a boner.


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## Daemoniac (Nov 7, 2008)

rectifryer said:


> Must've not played with a boner.


 

For fucks sake dude, grow up.


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## Stealthdjentstic (Nov 7, 2008)

Demoniac said:


> For fucks sake dude, grow up.



Nah its pretty funny 


Good to hear the gig went over well


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## Daemoniac (Nov 8, 2008)

Stealthtastic said:


> Nah its pretty funny


 
fair call, maybe im just tired and pissed off... i'll edit it when i get home then, for being a fun nazi


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## Stealthdjentstic (Nov 8, 2008)

Demoniac said:


> fair call, maybe im just tired and pissed off... i'll edit it when i get home then, for being a fun nazi



Itsall good.


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## rectifryer (Nov 8, 2008)

Demoniac said:


> For fucks sake dude, grow up.


 Sure thing, I'll get right on that Dr. Phil.


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## Zepp88 (Nov 8, 2008)

Tukaar said:


> Okay, we played the show. We rocked tits. But we got second... AFTER THOSE ASSCLOWNS.
> 
> But, my friends, I have a completely logical explanation for our perceived failure. 2 out of the 3 student judges HATE us on a personal level (Probably due to the fact that me and the drummer are total assholes when we're not playing.). As for the third judge, that dude fuckin' gave us a 10!!!
> 
> ...




You know dude...that's great and all...and I commend you for using an MP-1...but...

Turning music into some kind of play by play competition is one of the lamest things that I can think of. Judging gear, fanbase (which in high school is mainly friends, and a few other friends of friends and so on), loudness, general other dick size enhancing things...

It's all secondary to anything else, I'm not saying that you guys didn't perform well, it's just the attitude that is bothering me.


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## Thrashmanzac (Nov 8, 2008)

^ im gonna have to agree with mike here. congrats on the show, but seriously- comparing gear and stuff?


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## Demeyes (Nov 8, 2008)

Thrashmanzac said:


> ^ im gonna have to agree with mike here. congrats on the show, but seriously- comparing gear and stuff?



I feel the same. Music is about enjoying yourself and having a bit of fun, you shouldn't be so competitive. It doesn't really matter what gear you use or what style of music you play. Not everyone has the money or desire to spend a load of money on an amp or guitar. Lighten up a bit and you'll have more fun and play more gigs. It's good that you feel the gig went well and made some fans though.


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## ZeroSignal (Nov 8, 2008)

Zepp88 said:


> You know dude...that's great and all...and I commend you for using an MP-1...but...
> 
> Turning music into some kind of play by play competition is one of the lamest things that I can think of. Judging gear, fanbase (which in high school is mainly friends, and a few other friends of friends and so on), loudness, general other dick size enhancing things...
> 
> It's all secondary to anything else, I'm not saying that you guys didn't perform well, it's just the attitude that is bothering me.



Another vote in this camp. Music should be about fun. Not a popularity/pissing contest.


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## The Dark Wolf (Nov 8, 2008)

^  Chalk me up to another in Mike's camp, too. (Damn, he's fucking ace. )

You got the wrong attitude about music, dude. Seriously. Pissing contests? You guys sound really immature. 

Well, really I was thinking you sound like douchebags, but I guess I'm too nice to say that.


... oh, wait...


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## sakeido (Nov 8, 2008)

Zepp88 said:


> You know dude...that's great and all...and I commend you for using an MP-1...but...
> 
> Turning music into some kind of play by play competition is one of the lamest things that I can think of. Judging gear, fanbase (which in high school is mainly friends, and a few other friends of friends and so on), loudness, general other dick size enhancing things...
> 
> It's all secondary to anything else, I'm not saying that you guys didn't perform well, it's just the attitude that is bothering me.



I agree 100%

And eventually you'll have to come to the realization that music is mostly up to individual taste, and not very many people like stoner metal.  And are you sure two of the judges hate you personally? I wouldn't be surprised going by your post here, but people tend to blame outside factors for their failures and only take responsibility when things go well.


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## Tukaar (Nov 8, 2008)

I never said I didn't have fun with it. In fact, I'm having fun just pissing them off. 

Edit: I was just pointing out that our gear was a little more road-worn than theirs. Their attitude really isn't much better than ours, either. The way you guys are talking, you think I didn't have fun with it and that I'm basically playing my music as a form of competition. Not at all. I didn't care whether we won or not, for I knew that we wouldn't. I was just mad that the judges got away with being that biased.



sakeido said:


> I agree 100%
> 
> And eventually you'll have to come to the realization that music is mostly up to individual taste, and not very many people like stoner metal.  And are you sure two of the judges hate you personally? I wouldn't be surprised going by your post here, but people tend to blame outside factors for their failures and only take responsibility when things go well.



A logical observation of human nature. 

Yeah, we're pretty sure they hate us. They frequently go out of their way to tell their friends that they can't believe that we're going to be allowed to graduate and other such things.


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## Zepp88 (Nov 8, 2008)

Well, kudos for playing stoner metal anyways 

One of these days I need to put together a stoner doom/drone band and try to confuse people with it...


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## Tukaar (Nov 9, 2008)

Zepp88 said:


> Well, kudos for playing stoner metal anyways
> 
> One of these days I need to put together a stoner doom/drone band and try to confuse people with it...



Actually, that's not a bad idea. I've been wondering what a fusion of those two genres would be like. Like Electric Wizard and Sleep fused with Sunn0))) and Earth. DRONE SONGS ABOUT WEED!!! 

I take you're a fan of the MP-1? It's a weird preamp, but it gets a mean (almost Soldano Super Lead) sound out of it the way that I use it for Thorr-axe. I should post those settings on here sometime...


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## bulletbass man (Nov 9, 2008)

I would suggest tuning to A standard. For somereason everything is better in A standard.


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## matty2fatty (Nov 9, 2008)

I'd be willing to bet you won the 'best band name' award. Thor-axxe is badass


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## TonalArchitect (Nov 9, 2008)

The Dark Wolf said:


> ^  Chalk me up to another in Mike's camp, too. (Damn, he's fucking ace. )
> 
> You got the wrong attitude about music, dude. Seriously. Pissing contests? You guys sound really immature.
> 
> ...







sakeido said:


> I agree 100&#37;
> 
> And eventually you'll have to come to the realization that music is mostly up to individual taste, and not very many people like stoner metal.  And are you sure two of the judges hate you personally? I wouldn't be surprised going by your post here, but people tend to blame outside factors for their failures and only take responsibility when things go well.


 
 



Tukaar said:


> Edit: I was just pointing out that our gear was a little more road-worn than theirs. Their attitude really isn't much better than ours, either. The way you guys are talking, you think I didn't have fun with it and that I'm basically playing my music as a form of competition. Not at all. I didn't care whether we won or not, for I knew that we wouldn't. I was just mad that the judges got away with being that biased.



I think it might be more that you emphasized it as if it were a competition and not whether or not you enjoyed it. 

You say you knew you wouldn't win, but (Damn, I need more "you's" in this sentence) in your first post you seemed pretty confident that you would dominate them. 

Also...

You. . . . 



Tukaar said:


> Yeah, we're pretty sure they hate us. They frequently go out of their way to tell their friends that they can't believe that we're going to be allowed to graduate and other such things



No offense (so prepare to be offended ), but the "they hate us" thing really seems like an immature high school thing that rarely, if ever, has any truth to it. I heard this all the time, and I don't think I've once actually thought that it was true, no matter from whom I heard it. 

And I just graduated. Feel the shame! 

Anyway, it seems like they're being crap-weasels, but from your post you kinda seem a bit cocky. It wouldn't excuse their behavior, but if you and your bandmates go around school being loud, arrogant, and obnoxious (not saying that you do, mind you), then don't be surprised if you don't make the best impressions on everyone. 



But even so, it doesn't really matter, since you had fun and apparently gained some fans. 

You said this was a talent show... and there were judges? Maybe it's a peculiarity with my school, but there were no judges, except in the screening process. And even then, they didn't score you, they just accepted you or not based on your audition. 

We do now also have a battle of the bands, but as I haven't gone, I cannot say whether they have judges or just the crowd's screaming to determine who was awesome.


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