# Your Theme Song



## josh pelican (Sep 30, 2010)

Alright, cowgirls. I've got a very boring day ahead of me (although the girl I'm working with kind of looks like Rachel Starr), I've decided I am going to give everyone a theme song. I am hoping this doesn't get closed by the super mods as nothing offensive will be posted in here. This is purely meant to be funny and a good way to start your day, or brighten up your shitty day.

This won't be like the "Facts you should know about SSO members" thread as it won't just be people posting about themselves. I will be giving one theme song per member. If you disagree with it, you should have thought twice about posting here. 

All you have to do is tell me your name (or e-name), a little about yourself, and what you do in your past time. I will quickly view some of your posts and combine everything together. From my quick history check, I will figure out your awesome theme song.

For starters, MaxOfMetal received a theme song yesterday:


Did you hear those fuckin' dives starting around the six second mark?! Only Max can do that.

Who's up next?

EDIT: On the off chance that this gets closed and you still want a theme song, drop me a line on my page. I will get you one.


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## bostjan (Sep 30, 2010)

I'll bite

Bostjan Milosevic Zupancic, 30 y/o.
Born in Detroit, Michigan, USA.
Currently in St. Johnsbury, Vermont, USA.
Occupation: R & D in the power industry.
Interests: Guitar (obviously), Extended Range, Microtonal. Material Science, Physics, Mathematics, General Science, Bicycling, Aikeedo.
Hobbies: Guitar, Electronics.


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## josh pelican (Sep 30, 2010)

Well, Bostjan, you were certainly harder to find a theme song from a cartoon, that's for sure. I went with a pretty generic route based on microtonal/extended range, power, and math/science.

I present to you... your theme song:


I doubt anyone else will get a theme song as awesome as this. Consider yourself lucky!

When entering a room, a wrestling ring, or after a really heated argument/fight that you win, this song will play.


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## bostjan (Sep 30, 2010)

josh pelican said:


> Well, Bostjan, you were certainly harder to find a theme song from a cartoon, that's for sure. I went with a pretty generic route based on microtonal/extended range, power, and math/science.
> 
> I present to you... your theme song:
> 
> ...




Pretty sweet! I feel like a wrestler now. 

OT - Does M.A.N. have any songs with more deliberate-sounding guitar solos? /OT


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## Joeywilson (Sep 30, 2010)

http://www.feanor.net/z0r/shock/whiteblack.swf

can that be mine?


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## liamh (Sep 30, 2010)

I'm Liam Hart.
I'm in college studying music.
I live in a cottage 
In my free time I like to go on long walks thourgh the countryside, watch Top Gear and party like it's 1984 among other things.
I'm also in a rock band called Shitwhisk, I play drums in it. I've never played drums before. We suck.


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## Xaios (Sep 30, 2010)

This looks like a hoot.

Name: Robert Mura
Age: 23
Birthplace: Vancouver, BC, Canada
Current Residence: Whitehorse, Yukon, Canada
Occupation: Insurance Broker
Interests: Guitar, Progressive & Melodic Death Metal, Computers, MMORPG's, History, Religion, Star Trek, Science Fiction, Webcomics, Magic: The Gathering.


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## Espaul (Sep 30, 2010)

Haha, funny thread. Don't waste too much time on this tho'

Name: Pål Hjørnevik
about me: I'm kinda weird
Inspiration for finding theme song (look through favorites): YouTube - Espaul's Channel
Hobbies: music, drawing, internet


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## blister7321 (Sep 30, 2010)

Jamie Brandhuber
i like the heavier forms of metal (death/black/hardcore/pagan/what ever nile is and some tech death) pop punk and rock
i was born in ohio but indana is home and i currently reside in deltona FL
hobbies are music and drawing
no job yet but i attend daytona state college for music production


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## Randy (Sep 30, 2010)




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## josh pelican (Sep 30, 2010)

metallisuk said:


> http://www.feanor.net/z0r/shock/whiteblack.swf
> 
> can that be mine?


 
I suppose so. 



liamh said:


> I'm Liam Hart.
> I'm in college studying music.
> I live in a cottage
> In my free time I like to go on long walks thourgh the countryside, watch Top Gear and party like it's 1984 among other things.
> I'm also in a rock band called Shitwhisk, I play drums in it. I've never played drums before. We suck.


 
Because you said you like to watch Top Gear, I decided to go a little above and beyond the 20-30 second introduction of the show. I present to you, your seven minute introduction.



If there was a video of this, it would show you driving through deserts and mountain ranges in some sort of convertible (red in color, perhaps). You would be wearing a light-colored polo or a long-sleeve shirt with the sleeves rolled up. There's a good chance it's tucked in to some sort of khaki type pant. You're pretty much dressed like a tennis player, but look a little more sophisticated. You bet your ass you have sunglasses on and your hair is blowing in the wind. You don't have extremely long hair, but long enough to move. You are a high class kind of guy and women want to be with you... but they know they can't because you are out of their league.

The scenes of you driving would be a few different angles... especially when where it shows the car approaching the camera, the side of the car, then the car driving away from the camera.

Next up is Robert Mura.


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## Guitarman700 (Sep 30, 2010)

Colin Kauffman
20
Traverse City
Hobbies include Reading (sci fi and fantasy) video games, and writing
Musical tastes: 70's Prog (Yes, King Crimson genesis) Prog metal (dream theater Nevermore Opeth)
English teacher and solo musician (for now)


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## josh pelican (Sep 30, 2010)

Xaios said:


> This looks like a hoot.
> 
> Name: Robert Mura
> Age: 23
> ...


 
Theme Song:


I was going to dig a little deeper but work is starting to pick up. I had to stop searching YouTube. I hope you like it.

Next up is Pål Hjørnevik. This could get interesting.


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## Konfyouzd (Sep 30, 2010)

Name: KJ
Age: 25
Location: Two up... Two down... 
Occupation: Software Developer/Part-time stoner/Bedroom [guitar] shredder
Hobbies: Video games, music and recreational psychedelic experimentation... 
Pets: Two min pins
Musical tastes: Several subgeneres of metal, hip hop, jazz and its associated subgenres, rock (i include grunge as a subgenre even though it seems like the love child of metal and pop...), R&B, Funk, Blues, Reggae, Ska, Electronic music (the subgenres here confuse me... Shit like Pendulum, Entheogenic, Infected Mushroom, Shpongle, etc.), bluegrass and I'm sure there's more but I dont really know what everything is called. 

EDIT: Also, I just brought down our search engine at work. Go me!


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## josh pelican (Sep 30, 2010)

Beware, Pål Hjørnevik is approaching.



Up next is Jamie Brandhuber.


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## josh pelican (Sep 30, 2010)

Jamie Brandhuber, I present to you, your BATTLE song:


Whenever this song plays, you show up in some awesome fucking armor with a viking helmet and a cape. You have a giant ass sword that no one else can hold with one hand. You have it propped up on your shoulder. You will slay every fucking ork, peasant, and wench. You leave no one alive but your own men. When you leave, nothing remains but pools of blood and enemy corpses.

Randy posted his own theme. Colin Kaufmann, you're next.


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## Espaul (Sep 30, 2010)

HAHAHA! I played through dungeon keeper 1(again) this week  You're good at this!


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## josh pelican (Sep 30, 2010)

Colin, I had a hard time choosing, but I think I have come up with the correct theme song:


KJ is next.


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## Guitarman700 (Sep 30, 2010)

josh pelican said:


> Colin, I had a hard time choosing, but I think I have come up with the correct theme song:
> 
> 
> KJ is next.




Oh my god, YES. Thats one of my absolute favorites!
Thank you!


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## jaretthale78 (Sep 30, 2010)

my names jarett hale.
i like cats, dark choclate, and soy milk.
i like to play erg's and watch full house.
bjork and meshuggah are my life.


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## josh pelican (Sep 30, 2010)

KJ, I was going to give you some Grateful Dead, or the theme song from that game Acid Factory, but I decided you need something better.

You are the only person I couldn't find just one for as the options were unlimited... but I think I am going to give you this:


If you are not satisfied, I am willing to give it another shot. You get special treatment.


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## josh pelican (Sep 30, 2010)

Jarret, I was going to give you Samurai Pizza Cats... but I have found something a little better that suits you:


I would also like you to see these:


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## Necris (Sep 30, 2010)

josh pelican said:


> Jamie Brandhuber, I present to you, your BATTLE song:
> 
> .



I opened the video, and while it was showing a picture of a beautiful landscape an ad crawled into the bottom of the video that said "everything you've been told about Detroit is wrong", I nearly fell out of my chair laughing.


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## Konfyouzd (Sep 30, 2010)

josh pelican said:


> KJ, I was going to give you some Grateful Dead, or the theme song from that game Acid Factory, but I decided you need something better.
> 
> You are the only person I couldn't find just one for as the options were unlimited... but I think I am going to give you this:
> 
> ...




Awesome! I'm upset that I didn't bring my headphones to work cuz I've never heard this song. I'm definitely listening to this when I get home.


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## jaretthale78 (Sep 30, 2010)




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## blister7321 (Sep 30, 2010)

josh pelican said:


> Jamie Brandhuber, I present to you, your BATTLE song:
> 
> 
> Whenever this song plays, you show up in some awesome fucking armor with a viking helmet and a cape. You have a giant ass sword that no one else can hold with one hand. You have it propped up on your shoulder. You will slay every fucking ork, peasant, and wench. You leave no one alive but your own men. When you leave, nothing remains but pools of blood and enemy corpses.
> ...



thank you sir

song is badass 
so im the witch king wraith huh sick


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## Skyblue (Sep 30, 2010)

Sounds like fun :] 

so: 
I'm Noam Goorhuis. family name is dutch, and should not be attempted to pronounce  
I'm 17 years old, like 3/4 dutch, and I live in Israel.
I listen to metal- mostly prog, with bits of death and stuff combined inside (DT, Opeth, mr. Townsend so on and so forth), Jazz- mostly bebop and fusion I guess (Govan  ) and classical. 
hobbies, aside from guitar are reading, watching movies, and pen spinning (yep, you heard it. here's my channel if anyone's interested YouTube - NeverLandQM's Channel ) 

that's what I can come up with~ 

yeah, I'm an unknown guy


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## josh pelican (Sep 30, 2010)

Holy fuck. 43 videos of pen spinning?! I'm going to have to dig here for a good theme song. I will report back.

I dated a girl who was part dutch if I recall correctly. Her last name was Van Vugt.

EDIT: I got it. I wanted to give you something a little different because I've given a few metal themes. Get Dizzy.



Your theme video would be you sitting in the darkest corner of a smokey bar. There is a very dull light above you: not bright enough to see your face, but people know it's you. You have a drink in front of you. You either have a lit cigarette sitting in the ashtray in front you. Your are staring blankly across the room shuffling cards waiting for someone to join you in a game of poker. You never leave empty handed.

You've been in many, many bar fights. You've left the bar bloody and bruised, but are always the last man standing. You've had pool cues broken on your back, but it never did take you down.

Between walking in and leaving, you barely speak a word. Everyone knows exactly who you are. They either want to fuck with you, or the clear the table if they're sitting at it and apologize.

Your voice is a bit deep and raspy. The bar tender never says, "What'll it be?" You walk up to the bar, and he knows what you want. You flip 'em a few coin then head to your table.

Not even the Stella Artois man is as mysterious as you.


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## pink freud (Sep 30, 2010)

My name is Ryan Von Zillmer. I'm 22 years old and live in Seattle. Before guitar I played the Viola.
I work at Boeing as an Illustrator, am going to college for a second degree (Physics).
I play music (obviously), enjoy hiking in the Cascades and ogling well-endowed wenches. I drive a chick car (Toyota Yaris Hatchback ). 

Here was my New Member thread from yesteryear: http://www.sevenstring.org/forum/new-member-introductions/93055-new-member.html


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## Skyblue (Sep 30, 2010)

that was damn brilliant, both theme song and story! 
I approve of you 

and yeah, I've been spinning for like, almost 3 years now I think, and I'm not that good xD but it's really fun, doesn't take as much time as people seem to think (I spin during class, when I watch tv and so on, so I kinda rarely spend time just on spinning) and I believe it really helps finger independence and flexibility, which I'm sure almost any musician needs~ 
so hit me up if you're interested =P


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## vampiregenocide (Sep 30, 2010)

Ross Wildish, soon to be 20 y/o
Born : Harlow, Essex, England
Occupation: Freelance photographer and student currently studying said subject at the University of Hertfordshire
Interests: Playing guitar, music and journalism photography, art, gaming (particularly halo on xbox), films (especially zombie films)


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## ZEBOV (Sep 30, 2010)

My name is Neal Thomas.
I live in the United States. Born in Memphis, grew up in the suburbs of Memphis, and still live there.
I'm 22 years old.
Sevendust has been my favorite band since 1997, so I was 8 back then.
I also like Korn's first 5 albums (none after that), Five Finger Death Punch, Alice in Chains, Pearl Jam, Rush, Rammstein, Switched, Keith Merrow (diabolic5150), Periphery/Bulb, Meshuggah, Dream Theater, Feared, Dark New Day, Metallica's live CD called S&M (Symphony & Metallica), Bury Your Dead, Tool, Mudvayne, Rob Dougan, Stone Temple Pilots, Disturbed, Flaw, Gravity Kills, Psychostick, and Pantera. That would be every single band that I like so far.
I'm primarily a bass player, but I'm now learning guitar on a 7 string guitar. I play 7 strings simply because I cover a broad range of tunings. I started out on a 5 string bass too. I've also been on and off with the drums too.
I'm also a live sound engineer with a company called Akimbo Productions. We engineer sound for local bands. It started because there was a major lack of decent live sound for local bands around here. I'm soon to be the recording engineer since that's my major in college.
I'm also a part time security guard. I'm usually security for odd events like house auctions, movie theaters showing movies before they're released, etc.


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## Goatfork (Sep 30, 2010)

I want to be the very best. . . .


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## scherzo1928 (Sep 30, 2010)

This thread is pure win. 

Roberto
Mexico city
25
mechanical engineer
I have the most fucking awful handwriting in history.
Building a guitar, and when listening to karl sanders i grow extra arms to cut mah cocobolo boards. (so no karl sanders is allowed )
edit: just go through page 3 of my build, and you will know what I mean...


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## Psychobuddy (Sep 30, 2010)

Oooo, this is fun. 

Alright:

Name: Josh Stobbs 
Age: 17
Living in: Amherstburg, Ontario, Canada
Occupation: Works at a Dollar Store/ is a student
Interests: Guitar, music in general, video games, art, most things nerdy.

I look forward to what I get.


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## MikeH (Sep 30, 2010)

Name: Mike Herman
Age: 18
Location: Cincinnati, OH
Occupation: Asphalt seal coating and full time student majoring in Business Management
Interests: Guitar, Drums, Skateboarding, Aquarium Keeping, Zombies.


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## EliNoPants (Oct 1, 2010)

Eli, 27, Lawrence, KS
i like just about anything that rocks or gently lulls me to sleep, just one shelf of my CD collection has Nile, NIN, Norah Jones, Opeth, Ozzy, Pantera and Pink Floyd, and my most played in iTunes (amongst what little i have bothered to rip) is Cult of Luna, Cynic and Imogen Heap

in both music and movies, i like epic shit, i like it a lot, Conan, LotR, the Alien series, Batman, rpg games, comics, all sorts of shit like that

my all time greatest crushes would be Joan Jett, Catwoman, Tank Girl, Norah Jones, and Ellen Ripley (not Sigourney Weaver, just Ellen "baddest assed chick EVER" Ripley)


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## Cyanide Assassin (Oct 1, 2010)

this sounds like too much fun to miss out on

Danny Bolyn, 22 y/o.
Born in Joliet, Illionois, USA.
Currently in Chicago, Illinois, USA.
Occupation: Event Specialist, Service Clerk.
Interests: Guitar, Bass, Drums, vocals, programming, recording, bad ass tech death bands
Hobbies: playing guitar, finding new music, going to local shows and supporting the local bands..


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## aslsmm (Oct 1, 2010)

josh your going to need to have help catching up on all the theam song requests. you better get randy or techromancer to help you furnish theam songs for every one. 

btw the names aaron scott lopez, im not mexican, i was adopted. 
resides in: im from oregon and i love the ducks.
occupation: im in nursing school and goingt to be getting a masters so i can be a nurse practioner. currently in a care home for old folks.
hobbies: pretending im zakk wylde when no ones looking, the early zakk when he was with ozzy. i like to swear because those are some of the funnest words to say. like this FUCK! see it's fun. surfing, customizing guitars and i have a burmese python.


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## josh pelican (Oct 1, 2010)

fuuuuuuu

I didn't expect so many people to ask for a theme song. I will catch up as soon as I get some coffee into me. If anyone wants to help me catch up in the mean time, shoot me a PM. I have a few in mind for some people who haven't posted yet, but I'm holding out in hopes they do.


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## Wingchunwarrior (Oct 1, 2010)

Name: Cormack Peters
Location:Reading England but have lived in Ireland and Costa Rica
Ocupation: student 
Interests:Guitar, body-building,wing chun kung fu,mma,Movies(martial arts and action)Boats,video games,hoes
Heros:Arnold schwarzenegger,Nicolas Tesla,Mirko Cro Cop,Chuck Liddel,Wong Shun Leung


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## Joeywilson (Oct 1, 2010)

josh pelican said:


> I suppose so.



Noooo I take it back! Don't be mad Josh! 


I am Joey.
I'm going to university to get my degree in guitar performance.
I run everyday.
I have strechy ears.
I live in Van-city brooooo.


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## matty2fatty (Oct 1, 2010)

My turn

I live in the same city as you
We've had an awkward conversation at an Ion Dissonance show
I love coffee and sleep equally, creating several lifestyle problems
I just bought a brand spankin new sport bike as a graduation present for myself
Go!


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## Thaeon (Oct 1, 2010)

Joel Price
I live in Oklahoma City
I'm a performance guitar student
I'm primarily a Prog Rock/Metal guy, however I like a lot of avant garde jazz, rock and minimalist stuff as well as intelligent electronic music.
Tool, Nine Inch Nails and Muse are my favorite bands.
I like comic books...


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## Varcolac (Oct 1, 2010)

Yeah sure. 

My full name is Peter Connor Patrick Mannion. Why have one name when you can have four?
I am a recently post-graduated jobseeker with a Masters' degree in history and nothing to show for it.
My interests are, in no particular order, speculative fiction; videogames of a story-telling bent; real ale; moral superiority; intellectual superiority; fine whiskies; sex with a willing female co-participant; educating myself; educating others; travelling far and wide; laughing at religion; attempting to convert street-preachers to misotheism; OH GOD FINDING A JOB HELP; learning new instruments; playing and writing music from pop to extreme groove/prog/black/thrash by way of reggae, folk, punk, death metal and rockabilly; and listening to just about everything else. Oh, and coffee. 

FYI, my current theme tune is this:


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## gui94 (Oct 1, 2010)

Guilherme Lage dos Santos, 16 y/o.
Born and living in Braga, Portugal.
High-school student - Arts.
Interests: Art
Hobbies: playing guitar, music (death, thrash, melodic death, progressive and cynic (unique) ), drawing, painting, football, video games, concerts/festivals, writing


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## Cabinet (Oct 1, 2010)

I guess I'll jump on the bandwagon here...

Name: Chris, or Christofer.
I grew up in the Republic of Georgia and Romania, and am now living in Germany.
I hear a lot of different music, but only a handful of artists catch my eye enough to make me look them up more than once. I'm very picky about my metal, but I'm very open to progressive rock, experimental stuff, and any form of heavy drum music.
I like to build and take things apart, and look at something in multiple ways.
I fucking love minecraft and Legos.
I try to do a few things at a time, and do each of them very efficiently.
When I explain something I have a tendency to make it sound more complicated than it really is.
It's not uncommon for me to be skeptical of what people really think about me.

I guess that's all I have worth mentioning


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## josh pelican (Oct 1, 2010)

Holy fuck. All right, ladies, I'm going to need a helping hand here.

If you want to help shoot me a private message. I need help with Ryan, Ross, Neal, and Roberto. That will give me a good head start to catch up. Who's up to the challenge?


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## pink freud (Oct 1, 2010)

I can provide more info. See edit.


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## Marv Attaxx (Oct 2, 2010)

This thread is awesome 

- Name: Marvin, 22 y/o, Germany
- Occupation: Student/ Special Assistance at a bigass airport (Zürich,Switzerland)
- Interests: Music (lol), bodybuilding, martials arts, video 
games, going to the cinema (especially movies with one-liners, explosions and a lot of fights!), my doggies!
- Musical Taste: Metal, Trip Hop, Drum'n'Bass, Dubstep, Oldskool Rap from the 90s
- Hobbies: see interests


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## scottro202 (Oct 2, 2010)

I'm Scotty. I'm 16, and live in Georgia, USA. I like playing guitar, doing anything musical, really, dogs, and Taco Bell. I love ska, and think McDonalds burgers suck, but their fries rule.


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## josh pelican (Oct 2, 2010)

Ryan (pink freud), I present your theme song:


Originally I wanted to give you Strapping Young Lad's "You Suck" or "Storm" by Devin Townsend. Don't ask me why, but for some reason you come off as someone hard to please. Maybe that's just that I feel about you on the Internet. I've decided to give you something with that is both heavy and soft. It's a long theme song, but I think you'll be generally pleased with the result. I know you like Isis so I hope this is cool with you.

Theme songs should generally be short. I was very tempted to give you "The Beginning and the End" among several other Isis songs. This one is short and generally a beautiful song.

Next up is Rossy.


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## pink freud (Oct 2, 2010)

I approve 

I was actually expecting something German, what with my name and all  but this is a nice surprise.


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## josh pelican (Oct 2, 2010)

Ross Wildish, I present your theme:


I hope you like it, cutie.

Next up is Neal.


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## josh pelican (Oct 2, 2010)

Neal, I'm sorry for not putting a lot of effort into this. I have so much to catch up on so I quickly viewed some of your posts. You said this was your favorite theme song, so it's now yours!



TheGhunther broke the rules and gave himself his own theme song, so Roberto is up next. I'm getting there!


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## josh pelican (Oct 2, 2010)

Roberto, I'm sorry:


If you really don't want that, you can have this:


No matter which one you choose, your theme video would be you dancing. That is all.

Next up is Josh Stobbs.


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## josh pelican (Oct 2, 2010)

Josh Stobbs, I present your theme song:


Why? Because it's nerdy... and my buddy and I used to jam on this song so fucking much. I used to know the guitar and bass parts. I would play it so much.

Up next is Mr. Herman.


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## Psychobuddy (Oct 3, 2010)

Alright Castlevania. Thanks much!


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## PnKnG (Oct 3, 2010)

Bernd Jankowiak, 21 y/o.
Born in Germany.
Currently in Henån, Sweden.
Occupation: Care assistant for elders.
Interests: Guitar, Extended Range, Music in general, Anime & Manga, Gaming
Latest Anime I have watched / obsession: Wakfu (go watch it now)
Music taste: Metal, J-Rock, J-Metal, Electro


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## josh pelican (Oct 3, 2010)

Mike Herman, you asked for it:


Eli, you're next, big guy!


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## josh pelican (Oct 3, 2010)

Eli, you get this for going to shows with your mom:


If there was a new video for it, you'd be one of the girls singing in the background.

Danny is up next.


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## Customisbetter (Oct 3, 2010)

To add to the immense load...

Ed Chapman, 20 y/o.
Born in San diego, California, USA.
Currently in Lansing, Michigan, USA.
Occupation: PC Technician
Interests: Performance Boating, Carpentry, Women
Hobbies: Guitar, Watersports


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## josh pelican (Oct 3, 2010)

Danny, you get this as your theme song:


If I recall correctly, Born of Osiris are from Illinois. It sounds like a nintendo game. I like that.

Aaron Lopez, you're up next.


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## vampiregenocide (Oct 3, 2010)

josh pelican said:


> Ross Wildish, I present your theme:
> 
> 
> I hope you like it, cutie.
> ...




It will do


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## ZEBOV (Oct 3, 2010)

HA! My theme song is completely AWESOME!!!!!!!!


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## josh pelican (Oct 3, 2010)

Aaron, this is your theme:


When you graduate, you'll be a miracle man.

Cormack is up next.


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## groph (Oct 3, 2010)

Geoff

- 20 years old
- attends a mostly female university

LIKES

- Women's rights
- radical feminism
- lesbians
- kicking guys in the balls
- not paying the bill

DISLIKES

- the patriarchy
- phallic signifiers
- male dominance
- bras
- children
- opening doors


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## EliNoPants (Oct 3, 2010)

josh pelican said:


> Eli, you get this for going to shows with your mom:
> 
> 
> If there was a new video for it, you'd be one of the girls singing in the background.




OHMYGODINEEDTHOSEFUCKINGSHORTS!!!! that's rad, my initial hope was for something all viking and badass, but Mr. T is pretty awesome, and definitely on at least the same badass level as vikings


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## Chickenhawk (Oct 3, 2010)

Name: Christian
Age: 24
Occupation: Student, Political Science major, will be changing to Criminal Justice next semester, and working to get into the Law Enforcement Academy. I trim and cut down trees as a "job".
Likes: Guitar, any music that involves passion or effort to make or listen to. Death metal, prog, and way more country than I'll readily admit. America...hell, I almost died for this country...more than once.
Dislikes: 99% of all women (conniving, self-serving bitches), pop culture, thugs, and anybody that is generally worthless, or anybody that forgot that America thrives in conflict.

I'm an alcoholic, and a recovering coke-head (clean since July 14th, 2009). 
Disabled war vet (Army 05-09, nice trip to Iraq in 07-08).
I drive a fancy red pickup with no exhaust.
I rarely wear a shirt, but always jeans and boots, and ALWAYS have my camo hat with a bright orange American flag on it. Always. I never take that hat off.
I have my entire back tattooed with a portrait of Dimebag, since he's the reason I started playing guitar 10 years ago.

That pretty much sums me up. That damned hat.


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## josh pelican (Oct 5, 2010)

haaaayyyyy biiiithceesssss! I'm back for more theme song action!

Cormack Peters, here is yours:


Because you're big and tough.

Joey Wilson, you're up next.


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## josh pelican (Oct 5, 2010)

Joey Wilson, this is yours:


Reasoning? You're a total brah, dude. Yaknow. Brah. Bromance. Ya' like breakdowns, brah. This song makes you want to punch someone in the fucking mouth.

... brah.

Fat Matt, you're up now, sucka.


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## josh pelican (Oct 5, 2010)

PHAT MATT, this is your theme song:


If you don't like it, you get this:


Why? We met as they were going on stage. 

Joel Price, you're up next.


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## josh pelican (Oct 5, 2010)

Joel, you said you like (avant-garde) jazz and I've been looking for a reason to post some Yellowjackets. This is your new theme song:


The video would be some bizarre '80s video in the style of "Take On Me". It would be half drawn, half real. You would have a bizarre hairstyle. Hunky.

Peter Mannion, your time has come.


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## aslsmm (Oct 5, 2010)

dude miracle man is the shit. now i need to get a bunch of pigglets so i can get the full effect when i play that song.


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## josh pelican (Oct 5, 2010)

Peter Mannion, you also get a Mass Effect theme song:


As far as a video goes, you'd basically copy workout sessions from Rocky, especially him running up the stairs.

Guilherme, you're next.


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## josh pelican (Oct 5, 2010)

Guilherme, you get a wonderful _piece _by Atheist as your theme song:


You're welcome.

Christofer the Cabinet, I'm coming for you.


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## josh pelican (Oct 5, 2010)

Cabinet, this is yours:


If there was a video, it'd be of us being cute together. Rolling in the grass, lying on the ground watching the clouds, playing hide and go seek behind trees and in the tall grass, trying to run through the tall grass and in big open fields. The fields would be near huge cliffs by the ocean that has big waves. We would also try to catch grasshoppers by day and fireflies at night. A lot of the video would be in slow(er) motion.

I... I love you.

EDIT: Marvin, you're next.


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## josh pelican (Oct 5, 2010)

Marvin, here is your theme song:


Scotty is next.


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## Marv Attaxx (Oct 5, 2010)

^Dude, this is epic


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## Cabinet (Oct 5, 2010)

josh pelican said:


> Cabinet, this is yours:
> 
> 
> If there was a video, it'd be of us being cute together. Rolling in the grass, lying on the ground watching the clouds, playing hide and go seek behind trees and in the tall grass, trying to run through the tall grass and in big open fields. The fields would be near huge cliffs by the ocean that has big waves. We would also try to catch grasshoppers by day and fireflies at night. A lot of the video would be in slow(er) motion.
> ...



I'm touched


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## gui94 (Oct 5, 2010)

josh pelican said:


> Guilherme, you get a wonderfil _piece _by Atheist as your theme song:
> 
> 
> You're welcome.
> ...





Awesome, I'm honored! Very nice, _indeed. 
_Thanks, Josh!


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## PyramidSmasher (Oct 5, 2010)




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## tacotiklah (Oct 5, 2010)

Name: Adam MacArthur 
Age: 25 
Location: Lancaster, Ca 
Interests and hobbies: Music, playing computer games (favs are Diablo II LOD, Red Alert II, FEAR: Perseus Mandate, and Starcraft: Brood War) 
Women, beer drinking, horror/slasher movies, eating food (preferably while watching horror/slasher movies)

Fav. Band: Opeth

Likes: Old School Death Metal (possessed, sepultura, celtic frost, death, obituary, suffocation, atheist, etc....) some newer stuff like Decrepit Birth, The Faceless, etc..
Older thrash bands like earlier Megadeth and Slayer, also I dig some Cyclone Temple.

Dislikes: Pop, rap and most anything with -core attached to it. Stuck up people drive me insane. Mayonnaise and ranch dressing.


I hope that was enough.....


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## Varcolac (Oct 6, 2010)

josh pelican said:


> Peter Mannion, you also get a Mass Effect theme song:
> 
> 
> As far as a video goes, you'd basically copy workout sessions from Rocky, especially him running up the stairs.
> ...




Fuck yeaaaaaaah.


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## Variant (Oct 6, 2010)




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## Chickenhawk (Oct 6, 2010)

Hey Josh. Where the hell is my theme song homie?


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## josh pelican (Oct 7, 2010)

Skätt, here is yours:


If I have the accent wrong I apologize. I am not 100% on my accents, which is sad... I think you know what I was trying to get at, though!



Infinity Complex said:


> Hey Josh. Where the hell is my theme song homie?


 
It's coming, big guy. Don't worry. I've been a little slow with catching up. I just have to do Bernd, Ed, and Geoff. You will have one today. 

Bernd is up next!


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## josh pelican (Oct 7, 2010)

Bernd, here is your theme song:


If there was a video, it'd be you re-enacting parts from Død Snø.

Ed is up next.


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## Chickenhawk (Oct 7, 2010)

josh pelican said:


> It's coming, big guy. Don't worry. I've been a little slow with catching up. I just have to do Bernd, Ed, and Geoff. You will have one today.


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## All_¥our_Bass (Oct 7, 2010)

A Saucerful Of Secrets


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## josh pelican (Oct 7, 2010)




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## Chickenhawk (Oct 7, 2010)

Ed:

Since you're a fan of Boats and women, I present an option for your theme song.





I'll let Josh decide if it works or not


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## MikeH (Oct 7, 2010)

josh pelican said:


> Mike Herman, you asked for it:




I hate you.....so much.


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## BrainArt (Oct 8, 2010)

Name: Brandon Kalua (No, not like the drink.  That's Kahlua).
Age: 19
Interests: Music, guitar, different languages, different cultures, cooking, women.

I'm Hawai'in, my favorite band is Deftones, I'm from Northern California and have a joking obsession with "shanking bitches". I say "hella" and "legit" a LOT, because of where I live.

I am a master of mimicry and mockery, as my dad puts it. I have a very dark sense of humour and see no problem making holocaust jokes.

I hope that's enough for you, Josh.


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## josh pelican (Oct 8, 2010)

Infinity Complex said:


> Ed:
> 
> Since you're a fan of Boats and women, I present an option for your theme song.
> 
> I'll let Josh decide if it works or not


 
I approve. 



Ibz_rg said:


> I hate you.....so much.


 
I knew you'd like it!

Geoff, I'm coming for you now, big guy. Christian, you're soon.


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## josh pelican (Oct 8, 2010)

Geoff, I wanted to give you the slammiest song I could think of... but instead, you get this:


Christians are gay.

... That being said, Christian is up next.


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## Customisbetter (Oct 8, 2010)

So much win.


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## Chickenhawk (Oct 8, 2010)

josh pelican said:


> Christians are gay.
> 
> ... That being said, Christian is up next.



I agree. 

Kinda


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## The Atomic Ass (Oct 8, 2010)

josh pelican said:


>



Oh hell, I completely forgot about that show, I used to love watching it.


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## josh pelican (Oct 8, 2010)

Don't worry, I got theme for you once I finish everyone else. I've been thinking of it for a while. I have one for JohnIce, too. <3


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## josh pelican (Oct 8, 2010)

Christian, I am a bit late, but this screams your name:


I imagine you being a Cuyler. If you don't like it, I am willing to get another one for you, but I'd rather not. 

Pyramid Smasher fucked up. Adam MacArthur is next.


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## Chickenhawk (Oct 9, 2010)

I highly fucking approve, Josh. That's probably my favorite show ever. Doesn't hurt they remind me of my family to the tee.


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## Meinrad (Oct 9, 2010)

Alright, this sounds entertaining 

My name is Meinrad Thomas Blankers (or Tom Blankers... no one can pronounce Meinrad  )
I 'm originally from Roosendaal, the Netherlands but right now I live in the Northern USA.

My occupation? I'm the owner of a small drafting and design company, a structural/dynamic engineer in advanced robotics (in simple terms, I figure out how to make the actuation system and the structure of the robot work together the most efficiently) and an independent inventor. Currently I'm involved in the design of a building which uses precise electromagnetism and robotic control system technology to assemble itself. 

As for hobbies... Engineering, inventing, and drafting of course. I've been doing drafting since I was nine years old and intend to keep doing it as long as I'm alive. Music, equally obviously... I got into guitar for the same reason I got into engineering years ago. It's intricate, and no matter what the "normal" becomes, it's always very free... if you ignore the standards, you can turn anything into anything. There's alot of value in that.
Architectural design, for the same reason. 

Oh, and I'm involved with the 9/11 Truth Movement. No, I'm NOT a crazy conspiracy theorist! I don't think the government is covering up an inside job - they're just covering up the discovery that FEMA messed up the official investigation. Come on, considering recent events do you think that's so unlikely?
But here's the unique thing - I don't dedicate my work with them to the victims and the families the way everyone else in the organization does... No, my work is dedicated to the architect of the buildings. It was the destruction of his greatest accomplishment and this fact is overlooked often among the sentimentality of people who "actually have some humanity"... more like people who have never accomplished anything in their lives and don't know what it's like to have it taken away. 

And my downfall? I'm very incapable with society. Sometimes I struggle just with simple things like ordering my food. But this is the price of creativity I suppose.

Enough information? Better not ask me to put in a quarter too, yes?


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## Chickenhawk (Oct 10, 2010)

Meinrad (I can pronounce that, btw), no need for a quarter. Yours is free, since you play with fucking robots 

This immediately popped into my head, but it's not so much a theme song as just fucking badass:




sooooo, I think this will do as a theme song:




I imagine you in a dimly lit warehouse, with robot parts swinging around from overhead. You're hunched over a robo-sapien carcass; elbow deep in it's torso, long hair hanging over your head, blocking the view of what you're trying to accomplish. 

On the far wall: Posters, drafts and blueprints of all sorts of buildings with red marker circles of structural weak points, with horribly written notes, and post-its scattered over it.

And, of course, motherfucking Blotted Science blasting the whole time.


Josh, you're free to veto my vote, of course. But I think I hit the nail right on the head with this one.


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## BrainArt (Oct 10, 2010)

Glad to see that my theme song is still non-existant.  Bitch.


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## Meinrad (Oct 10, 2010)

Infinity Complex said:


> I imagine you in a dimly lit warehouse, with robot parts swinging around from overhead. You're hunched over a robo-sapien carcass; elbow deep in it's torso, long hair hanging over your head, blocking the view of what you're trying to accomplish.
> 
> On the far wall: Posters, drafts and blueprints of all sorts of buildings with red marker circles of structural weak points, with horribly written notes, and post-its scattered over it.
> 
> ...


 
Nice... That song is awesome! 

The description of the dimly lighted warehouse actually sounds alot like my old workshop... 







It was a mess in there most of the time, haha - inventors aren't exactly known for their exceptional cleanup skills after getting hydraulic fluid on everything.

And you're completely right - I have drawings of various buildings taped to the walls in my home office, with diagrams and notes about the structural weaknesses. 

Since you showed me that awesome song I might actually have to start blasting it when I'm working now...


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## Chickenhawk (Oct 10, 2010)

BrainArt said:


> Glad to see that my theme song is still non-existant.  Bitch.



Brandon...shut up.





....Joking...

I'll dig one up for you, if Josh doesn't beat me to it.



Meinrad said:


> Since you showed me that awesome song I might actually have to start blasting it when I'm working now...




My pleasure to introduce people to the joys of Jarzombek. Check out Spastic Ink one of these days. It's his other project.


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## josh pelican (Oct 10, 2010)

Guys, I'm sorry I've been a bit behind on this. My laptop stopped working Friday night and I just got it working now. I had to threaten it and hit it a few times.

I will let Christians stand because I think everyone who has requested a theme song has one.

This one is for JohnIce:


They don't say "Shawn" in the beginning, they say "John".


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## tacotiklah (Oct 11, 2010)

Not quite. I'm still waiting for my theme song.


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## BrainArt (Oct 11, 2010)

Infinity Complex said:


> Brandon...shut up.
> 
> ....Joking...
> 
> I'll dig one up for you, if Josh doesn't beat me to it.



That first video is right, as a Kalua, I DO have a great taste! 


*Waits slightly impatiently for a proper theme song*


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## Chickenhawk (Oct 11, 2010)

ghstofperdition said:


> Not quite. I'm still waiting for my theme song.



This one seems way to fucking simple...if Josh doesn't get to you tonight, I'll do it.





BrainArt said:


> That first video is right, as a Kalua, I DO have a great taste!
> 
> 
> *Waits slightly impatiently for a proper theme song*



You don't get one.


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## BrainArt (Oct 11, 2010)

Infinity Complex said:


> You don't get one.


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## Cabinet (Oct 12, 2010)

BrainArt is a pretty cool guy, so he deserves a pretty cool track


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## Prydogga (Oct 12, 2010)

He deserves some Deftone  And a million dollars


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## BrainArt (Oct 12, 2010)

Cabinet said:


> BrainArt is a pretty cool guy, so he deserves a pretty cool track




That is really cool.  I have an interest in Buddhism, so it's befitting. 



Prydogga said:


> He deserves some Deftone  And a million dollars



You know me so well, Pry!


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## josh pelican (Oct 12, 2010)

Is everyone fucking happy now?! 

I need more people to request theme songs. Randy? Mods? ALEX?

eaeolian gets this one:


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## SirMyghin (Oct 12, 2010)

This is entertainingly ridiculous so I will chime in

Kyle Maitland , 24
Currently taking a Master's of applied science, focus being geotechnical engineering. I have done a lot of construction work, obviously play guitar, but am a bass player. I live in Canada, and enjoy weight lifting. Read a lot of books, and have a rocking dog (corgi)


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## JeffFromMtl (Oct 12, 2010)

My name is Jeff and I demand a theme song. Now, have your way with me, boy!


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## Chickenhawk (Oct 13, 2010)

Kyle:

You have built shit....



This one doesn't QUITE fit you, since you lift weights, but whatever.



Jeff: 

for being an asshole...NSFW for lyrics, so click the link.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bML3wRTATWg





just kidding, Jeff. But that's seriously your theme song, since you didn't give any details about yourself.




And, finally, BRANDY!!

Here's your FOR REAL theme song.








wait....

nevermind, here it is:


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## BrainArt (Oct 13, 2010)

Infinity Complex said:


> And, finally, BRANDY!!
> 
> Here's your FOR REAL theme song.
> 
> ...


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## Anarkhia (Oct 13, 2010)




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## josh pelican (Oct 13, 2010)

Christian, you must have some fucking balls to come in here and take over you fucking son of a--- nah, I'm just kidding. I was trying to think of a good one for Jeff yesterday. I was thinking something like this:


You will have to go to Youtube and sign in.

Except for the video, it would be remade by me... and wouldn't be suitable for anyone who isn't completely fucked, disturbed, or a poster on /b/.


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## SirMyghin (Oct 13, 2010)

Infinity Complex, you have slain me with laughter.


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## JeffFromMtl (Oct 13, 2010)

Infinity Complex said:


> Jeff:
> 
> for being an asshole...NSFW for lyrics, so click the link.
> 
> ...




 That's both partially the most awesome and terrible theme song ever.

BTW, I didn't provide any details, cuz I was 100% certain Josh would just give me Blood and Thunder cuz of my Moby Dick sleeve and be done with it. After all, most people think it's a Mastodon-inspired tattoo


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