# How to repair the biggest screwup ever?



## Thin_Ice_77 (Mar 28, 2010)

To make a long story short, me and my girlfriend had a big argument after which she told me to get out of her life and leave her alone. She wasn't interested in making up, so I kind of ended up having sex with an old friend of mine. Me and my girlfriend then made up again and today she found out what happened.

...How the fuck do I make this better?


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## jymellis (Mar 28, 2010)

3some


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## Arminius (Mar 28, 2010)

Well, You weren't together at the time, so it's not really cheating or anything. I guess it really depends on what kind of person she is. I mean, she told you to get out of her life 





jymellis said:


> 3some




A screencap is needed greatly right about now


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## lobee (Mar 28, 2010)

Tough situation, mate. Depending on how deep the screw-up is, you may need to drill it out and plug the hole with a new, tight-fitting dowel and some strong glue. Then, and only then, you can reattempt screwing. Unfortunately, repairing most large screw-ups requires a complete surface overhaul for it to come out in the end. If you think you're up to the task you can save a bit of money, but it may be difficult and time consuming if you've never done anything like this before. Plus, you may have to go without using it for a considerable amount of time. In this case, it may be best to go to a professional, instead. In my opinion, you're probably just better off getting a new one. 

Best of luck to you!


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## HammerAndSickle (Mar 28, 2010)

... that is the deepest, most profound metaphor I have ever seen.


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## Slamp (Mar 28, 2010)

jymellis said:


> 3some





On topic: This would all come down to how she feels about it, and what she considers to be cheating i think. You were technically not together, and it shouldn't be considered cheating as such, but she might still be disappointed that you bounced back that quickly. Give her some time to think about it, but i wouldn't be too apologetic over it either.
On the other hand, what did _she_ do while you were apart?


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## BlindingLight7 (Mar 28, 2010)

You fucked an old friend, when you stuck your wang inbetween that woman's lips you were kissing goodbye everything you actually cared about, think twice and don't take a woman's words as final, EVER.


But yeah, your fucked.


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## AK DRAGON (Mar 28, 2010)

You may be past the point of no return. If she is willing to listen, this time, lay out all your cards on the table and explain everything. Even though she started it, be the man and take responsibility.


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## splinter8451 (Mar 28, 2010)

Thin_Ice_77 said:


> kind of ended up having sex with an old friend of mine





Thin_Ice_77 said:


> kind of



So did you do it? Or did you kind of have sex with her?



Sorry man I had to. 

I think it comes down to do YOU want to be in a relationship with her still after she said those things to you? Or do you want to move on and find someone else? 

I mean you went and hung out and had sex with another girl in the time you and your other lady were not together/having problems. So it seems to me like you should just move on if her finding out about what you did causes major problems. 

The way I see it, if she does not want to make things better again after finding that out then there is no point in trying to make it better. Most girls make up their mind on something and they are dead set on it after that 

I mean do you want to make it work again?


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## Arminius (Mar 28, 2010)

lobee said:


> Tough situation, mate. Depending on how deep the screw-up is, you may need to drill it out and plug the hole with a new, tight-fitting dowel and some strong glue. Then, and only then, you can reattempt screwing. Unfortunately, repairing most large screw-ups requires a complete surface overhaul for it to come out in the end. If you think you're up to the task you can save a bit of money, but it may be difficult and time consuming if you've never done anything like this before. Plus, you may have to go without using it for a considerable amount of time. In this case, it may be best to go to a professional, instead. In my opinion, sometimes you're better of just getting a new one.
> 
> Best of luck to you!




Why is this thread so great!?!


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## budda (Mar 28, 2010)

You wait. That's really the best advice you're going to get. Time will tell how things go, now that you two are back together.

To put a positive spin on things, this is by no means the biggest screw-up ever.


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## velocity (Mar 28, 2010)

WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!!



sorry had to through in the "friends" reference...


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## Guitar Nymph (Mar 28, 2010)

Damn dude, I'm sorry to hear about your shituation 

From a girls point of view, it's happened to me before.
I did give the guy another chance, but I eventually wasn't able to cope
with how things were from then on. I kind of felt like the relationship was tainted afterwards. And wasn't able to forgive him totally.

If you guys have a really close relationship, she may find it in herself to let it go. But if she doesn't, and keeps bringing it up etc. 
you both don't deserve the stress.

As Budda said, give it time 

Also, props for being honest with her


Good luck!


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## troyguitar (Mar 28, 2010)

I'm a guy and I still wouldn't ever let something like that go. Why do people feel the need to fuck anything and everything all of the time?


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## HammerAndSickle (Mar 28, 2010)

Bullshit. She gave up her "right" to exclusivity when she said she wanted you out. People should be held accountable for their actions. She said no to you, you said yes to someone else, that's nobody's fault but her own.


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## budda (Mar 28, 2010)

A few questions:

how long have you two been in a committed relationship?

how long have you two known each other?

Are either of you the type to hold grudges?

How do you see this affecting your relationship with your gf down the road?

Do you really want this stress or should you two take your losses and be single again?

You don't have to answer those questions here, but they may give you something to think about.


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## tacotiklah (Mar 28, 2010)

budda said:


> A few questions:
> 
> how long have you two been in a committed relationship?
> 
> ...



http://www.shwedarling.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/06/funny_relationship.jpg

or

http://www.surfersam.com/funny-pictures/funny-pictures-relationship.jpg



But seriously though, she did tell you it was pretty much over, so I don't see where it was a problem. Though to be honest it's for reasons like this that I avoid rebound sex.


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## SD83 (Mar 28, 2010)

troyguitar said:


> I'm a guy and I still wouldn't ever let something like that go. Why do people feel the need to fuck anything and everything all of the time?



 My thoughts exactly. It's like the relationship is dead and you cut off the head to make sure it won't rise again...


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## sami (Mar 28, 2010)

Well how much time passed? Did you hook up with your friend the same day as your break up? And how long after did you get back with her?

tbh, I don't think things are looking in your favor. If there's anything you know that could steal her heart, at least try. Even if it fails, you tried.


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## Daemoniac (Mar 28, 2010)

I'm sorry, but if this relationship actually meant shit to you, you would have tried this whole "win her back" thing *before* you went out and fucked the first piece of ass to come by.

EDIT: And for the record, my girlfriend has said things like that _many_ times... MANY MANY times. We're still together.


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## scottro202 (Mar 28, 2010)

HammerAndSickle said:


> Bullshit. She gave up her "right" to exclusivity when she said she wanted you out. People should be held accountable for their actions. She said no to you, you said yes to someone else, that's nobody's fault but her own.



My thoughts exactly 

EDIT: Wait, what was her reaction when she found out?


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## matt397 (Mar 28, 2010)

velocity said:


> WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!!
> 
> 
> 
> sorry had to through in the "friends" reference...



I thought of this friends referance 5 seconds into reading it 

Well the only advice I can give, an this is coming from someone who is "happily".....married....LoL.....women ALWAYS mean the complete friggin opposite of what they really mean. when she said I don't want you to be part of my life what she really meant was " you pissed me off, I still love you, Im gonna make you fight to prove you still love me but Im going to make it extremely hard for you" so technically speaking....in her mind....LoL...you were never seperated


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## conorreich (Mar 28, 2010)

velocity said:


> WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!!
> 
> 
> 
> sorry had to through in the "friends" reference...


LMAO! thats what i was gonna say. waiting is deffinately the best option.


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## Janiator (Mar 28, 2010)

Sounds like you fucked up bigtime and that it's over, but you know her and nobody on here does so I'll leave that judgement up to you.
As someone mentioned before, if you really cared that much then why didn't you just put the dick away?


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## Guitar Nymph (Mar 29, 2010)

matt397 said:


> I thought of this friends referance 5 seconds into reading it
> 
> Well the only advice I can give, an this is coming from someone who is "happily".....married....LoL.....women ALWAYS mean the complete friggin opposite of what they really mean. when she said I don't want you to be part of my life what she really meant was " you pissed me off, I still love you, Im gonna make you fight to prove you still love me but Im going to make it extremely hard for you" so technically speaking....in her mind....LoL...you were never seperated



matt397 knows 

It's seems retarded, but that's usually how women work.
For those of you that say "she said it was over" so it was, I can
definitely understand the logic behind that. Seems like it would be that simple.

But females are complicated & emotional creatures, half the time we don't mean what we say in a fit of rage. 
I kind of envy the way some men deal with things.


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## xtrustisyoursx (Mar 29, 2010)

velocity said:


> WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!!
> 
> 
> 
> sorry had to through in the "friends" reference...



 dang! I was gonna say that


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## synrgy (Mar 29, 2010)

Guitar Nymph said:


> matt397 knows
> 
> It's seems retarded, but that's usually how women work.
> For those of you that say "she said it was over" so it was, I can
> ...



This is why I avoid relationships like the plague they are. Until or unless I can find a woman that says what she means/means what she says, I'm done trying to play psychic-boy every day. REFUSE to play those kinds of games. Life's entirely too short for us both to be pissed off at each other 4 times longer than we would be if we were just HONEST.

In my humble opinion, it sounds to me like OP dodged a bullet. 

To be fair, obviously I don't know either party, or the finer details/context that always make all the difference, but the above is my casual assessment.


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## caughtinamosh (Mar 29, 2010)

Thin_Ice_77 said:


> To make a long story short, me and my girlfriend had a big argument after which she told me to get out of her life and leave her alone. She wasn't interested in making up, so I kind of ended up having sex with an old friend of mine. Me and my girlfriend then made up again and today she found out what happened.
> 
> ...How the fuck do I make this better?


 
Your original post isn't really detailed, so I'll reply based on what I have here.

In my experience, girls act on impulse. She may well have told you to fuck off and never return, but you should never have taken that at face value. For the most part, I agree with Demoniac. Being "technically" single means nitto; how much did you actually value this girl? 

If your answer to that question is along the lines of "greatly," then you have to give it time. This is a clusterfuck, and there's not much that you can do about it. Give it a while and see what happens.

EDIT: For what it's worth, consider how I would approach this situation if I were her. I've just come out of a relationship which was tinged with infidelity. I now know that I will never tolerate this sort of thing ever again. If a girl values me enough, she'll never cheat on me in the first place, technically single or not.


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## Scar Symmetry (Mar 29, 2010)

Pro tip: over half of what girls say isn't true 

Take it on the nose or move on, either way you can't force her to change her mind about anything, but if you do decide you want to stick around, just make sure you don't go "kind of sleeping" with anyone else


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## Daggorath (Mar 29, 2010)

Pull a Ross. WE WERE ONA BREAK!

I feel sad for making a friends reference. It's either that or Hollyoaks most of the time and y'know.

EDIT: Just noticed someone beat me to it. Atleast I'm not the only one, ay?


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## JohnIce (Mar 29, 2010)

velocity said:


> WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!!
> 
> 
> 
> sorry had to through in the "friends" reference...


 
 That's the first thing that popped into my head! 

Tom, if you actually cared about this girl and wanted her back, why would you be in such a rush to run off and fuck someone else? It was a damn stupid move, no offense. Think about it from her perspective, let's say you got mad at her and told her to fuck off, and then when you've calmed down and you're ready to make up again, you find out that she went off and fucked another dude? If you have some history together and actually care about eachother, this should be pretty fucking hard to take.

In all fairness, I think she has every right to do whatever she wants right now. If she moves on without you, you hopefully learned a valuable lesson about relationships, women and common sense.

That said, I do get the impression that you're a good guy, and I do route for you. If you get her back, I'll be happy for you, man. But damn, that was a bad move.


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## JohnIce (Mar 29, 2010)

synrgy said:


> This is why I avoid relationships like the plague they are. Until or unless I can find a woman that says what she means/means what she says, I'm done trying to play psychic-boy every day. REFUSE to play those kinds of games. Life's entirely too short for us both to be pissed off at each other 4 times longer than we would be if we were just HONEST.
> 
> In my humble opinion, it sounds to me like OP dodged a bullet.
> 
> To be fair, obviously I don't know either party, or the finer details/context that always make all the difference, but the above is my casual assessment.


 
Hmm... I'm not sure I agree with you, man. I definately see your point, and I've felt so too at times, but here's the deal:

...men and women are different.



It really is that simple. In my experience, you can never expect a girl to behave like a guy. And frankly, girls have every right to act like girls, just like you have the right to act like a guy. I personally love being a dude, with everything that comes with it, and I'd never want to have to be more lady-like to appeal to girls. In the same way, I'd never ask a girl to be more like a dude just to make things easier for me.

Relationships are more about understanding differences and overcoming them than anything else. You might think that she's hard to understand, but she probably doesn't understand you either. This is a very fundamental thing, and it's better to do what you can to learn and understand it, than trying to fight it or force anyone to anything.

My opinion, of course.


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## Internection (Mar 30, 2010)

HammerAndSickle said:


> Bullshit. She gave up her "right" to exclusivity when she said she wanted you out. People should be held accountable for their actions. She said no to you, you said yes to someone else, that's nobody's fault but her own.


touche

and with this i say FUCK BITCHES
FWB ftw.


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## budda (Mar 30, 2010)

Ah yes, the whole "mean what you say and say what you mean" thing - I've told my ex and some of my friends that mooore than once.

They only consciously do it when they know you're a literal person. I'm a literal person. If I ask how you're doing, and you say "fine" but you look like hell and clearly need to talk to somebody about whatever issue, and I say "are you sure?" - if you say "yes", I'm probably not going to pressure you further into talking about your problem. Sometimes this makes people open up, sometimes it doesn't. It kind of sucks being a literal person, because I hear "that's not what I meant!" more than I'd like (but not lately ).

At the time a female says something, she believes it 100%. Just be aware of the fact that she will probably change her mind within 12-24 hours.


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## CentaurPorn (Mar 30, 2010)

I would probably post about it on a sevenstring guitar forum because it is music related. That would make everything better.


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## meisterjager (Mar 30, 2010)

CentaurPorn said:


> I would probably post about it on a sevenstring guitar forum because it is music related. That would make everything better.


 
*The Lounge* - _*Off-Topic*_ discussions of a more serious nature.



OP... ouch. I think everything that needed saying has been said really. I mean, to be fair, if she really pissed you off, then I don't blame you for being in the mindset of wanting to get some affection from someone else. Best thing to do is probably tell her how much her words hurt you..

Can we get some kind of idea of time frame on this?


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## synrgy (Mar 30, 2010)

JohnIce said:


> Hmm... I'm not sure I agree with you, man. I definately see your point, and I've felt so too at times, but here's the deal:
> 
> ...men and women are different.



I totally get that. I didn't make this very clear at all (typical guy) but I guess I was trying to speak more to the 'games' portion of things. Someone mentioned the whole "Now I'm going to make you sweat/work for it/revenge/whatever" thing; THAT'S what I refuse to buy into, as it only creates more problems.

I've been in plenty of healthy relationships where, when an argument got too heated on one side or the other, one person would simply remove themselves, go take a walk to cool down, then come back later. People who can do things like that really aren't that hard to find, and the whole 'crazy girl/guy' rule doesn't apply nearly as widely as most of us would like to think it does. We just use it as a crutch to excuse our insane relationship choices. 

Some people _choose_ to be crazy -- especially in relationships -- for reasons I don't understand. Those are the people I'm talking about avoiding.


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## Fzau (Mar 30, 2010)

JohnIce said:


> Tom, if you actually cared about this girl and wanted her back, why would you be in such a rush to run off and fuck someone else? It was a damn stupid move, no offense. Think about it from her perspective, let's say you got mad at her and told her to fuck off, and then when you've calmed down and you're ready to make up again, you find out that she went off and fucked another dude? If you have some history together and actually care about eachother, this should be pretty fucking hard to take.
> 
> In all fairness, I think she has every right to do whatever she wants right now. If she moves on without you, you hopefully learned a valuable lesson about relationships, women and common sense.
> 
> That said, I do get the impression that you're a good guy, and I do route for you. If you get her back, I'll be happy for you, man. But damn, that was a bad move.


 


JohnIce said:


> Hmm... I'm not sure I agree with you, man. I definately see your point, and I've felt so too at times, but here's the deal:
> 
> ...men and women are different.
> 
> ...


 
John summed up everything I wanted to say 
Great minds think alike I guess 
From her perspective, you immediately fucking someone else kind of shows how much she means to you 

Still.. Good luck, man! Hope it'll work out for both of you


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## Scar Symmetry (Mar 30, 2010)

JohnIce said:


> In my experience, you can never expect a girl to behave like a guy. And frankly, girls have every right to act like girls, just like you have the right to act like a guy. I personally love being a dude, with everything that comes with it, and I'd never want to have to be more lady-like to appeal to girls. In the same way, I'd never ask a girl to be more like a dude just to make things easier for me.
> 
> Relationships are more about understanding differences and overcoming them than anything else. You might think that she's hard to understand, but she probably doesn't understand you either. This is a very fundamental thing, and it's better to do what you can to learn and understand it, than trying to fight it or force anyone to anything.



This is semi-traitorous to dudes but it's also true


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## Origin (Mar 30, 2010)

A woman getting mad about nothing and deciding she TEMPORARILY never wants to see you again? Shit man, that never happens! She has no right to be mad if she broke up with you and you weren't together then. 

I don't understand how chicks have this amazing double-standard where they're allowed to do whatever the hell they want and a dude has to take it and do whatever they say. I left the last chick who did that to me on her own in the cold; insecure wannabe tyrant can piss off.

Don't change for her. If she's willing to calm down then everything can work out, if she's going to do that thing where she's trying to be in a bad mood, she's obviously still 5.


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## vampiregenocide (Mar 30, 2010)

Man at least you have a choice of women to fuck. 

But seriously, she told you to get out, you sought refuge in someone else. Its no ones fault.


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## Randy (Mar 30, 2010)

vampiregenocide said:


> But seriously, she told you to get out, you sought refuge in someone else. Its no ones fault.



Sorry, but no.


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## Scar Symmetry (Mar 30, 2010)

Randy said:


> Sorry, but no.



Yeah sorry Ross but I agree with Randy "Relationship Guru" Hogue here, this guy really knows his shit when it comes to understanding women/relationships


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## Evil7 (Mar 30, 2010)

Its simple. If you want to keep her/love her, You have to go to her and tell her you feel like a shitbag for what you did. Well a more indepth conversation about how you are sorry and really thought she was done with the relationship... ect.. Ask her to Forgive you or try to... Tell her she dont have to answer now... Just think about it.
But you will never truly live it down.... Every arguement it will be thrown back in your face. Major trust issues are rarely fixed in any relationship. There is a point where starting new becomes a breath of fresh air.


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## Scar Symmetry (Mar 30, 2010)

Evil7 said:


> Its simple. If you want to keep her/love her, You have to go to her and tell her you feel like a shitbag for what you did. Well a more indepth conversation about how you are sorry and really thought she was done with the relationship... ect.. Ask her to Forgive you or try to... Tell her she dont have to answer now... Just think about it.
> But you will never truly live it down.... Every arguement it will be thrown back in your face. Major trust issues are rarely fixed in any relationship. There is a point where starting new becomes a breath of fresh air.



This is the first post I've seen from you that I've thought, "Yeah, that makes sense."

Have some rep


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## Evil7 (Mar 30, 2010)

Hey Hey!!! Thanks.. I think...
I know I have a crude/blunt way of being opinionated. I feel I make good points most of the time


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## Randy (Mar 30, 2010)

Scar Symmetry said:


> Yeah sorry Ross but I agree with Randy "Relationship Guru" Hogue here, this guy really knows his shit when it comes to understanding women/relationships





Scar Symmetry said:


> Have some rep


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## JohnIce (Mar 30, 2010)

synrgy said:


> I totally get that. I didn't make this very clear at all (typical guy) but I guess I was trying to speak more to the 'games' portion of things. Someone mentioned the whole "Now I'm going to make you sweat/work for it/revenge/whatever" thing; THAT'S what I refuse to buy into, as it only creates more problems.
> 
> I've been in plenty of healthy relationships where, when an argument got too heated on one side or the other, one person would simply remove themselves, go take a walk to cool down, then come back later. People who can do things like that really aren't that hard to find, and the whole 'crazy girl/guy' rule doesn't apply nearly as widely as most of us would like to think it does. We just use it as a crutch to excuse our insane relationship choices.
> 
> Some people _choose_ to be crazy -- especially in relationships -- for reasons I don't understand. Those are the people I'm talking about avoiding.


 
Oh, now I understand what you mean, mate!  I was under the impression that you had zero-tolerance to bumpy relationships and that you'd chosen a life of celibacy waiting for a girl who doesn't really exist  I totally get your point now, and I agree. You can't expect to always get along with a girl, but you shouldn't take immature bullshit either


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## vampiregenocide (Mar 30, 2010)

Scar Symmetry said:


> Yeah sorry Ross but I agree with Randy "Relationship Guru" Hogue here, this guy really knows his shit when it comes to understanding women/relationships


 
I don't think its anyones fault, didn't say the girl would feel that way.


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## budda (Mar 30, 2010)

Everyone has an amount of BS they're willing to put up with in ANY relationship (friends, family, significant others). How much you're willing to take depends on how important that person is to you.

Also, what's with all the guys trying to be macho on here? That's pretty 1989


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## synrgy (Mar 30, 2010)

budda said:


> That's pretty 1989


 
THIS is 1989:







(sorry for the semi-hijack, but I couldn't resist!!)


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## sami (Mar 31, 2010)




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## SargeantVomit (Mar 31, 2010)

So can we get an update? What was the fight about in the first place?


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## vampiregenocide (Mar 31, 2010)

SargeantVomit said:


> So can we get an update? What was the fight about in the first place?


 
What is this, Heat magazine?


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## budda (Mar 31, 2010)

vampiregenocide said:


> What is this, Heat magazine?



Pardon my ignorance, but a) does this exist and b) what is it? I'm tired, my scarcasm radar is down


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## meisterjager (Mar 31, 2010)

^ 

Heat's a gossip magazine in the UK






I had a mega crush on both of those chicks from the Apprentice too, for the record. DAMN.


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## ittoa666 (Mar 31, 2010)

Lol


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## leftyguitarjoe (Mar 31, 2010)

Ah. This is a relationship thread.

I thought we were going to discuss the Bush administration.


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## JohnIce (Mar 31, 2010)

leftyguitarjoe said:


> Ah. This is a relationship thread.
> 
> I thought we were going to discuss the Bush administration.


 
Where's that :crash cymbal: gif when you need it?


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## swayman (Apr 11, 2010)

Thin_Ice_77 said:


> To make a long story short, me and my girlfriend had a big argument after which she told me to get out of her life and leave her alone. She wasn't interested in making up, so I kind of ended up having sex with an old friend of mine. Me and my girlfriend then made up again and today she found out what happened.
> 
> ...How the fuck do I make this better?



Questions:

1. How long after breaking up did you screw this other chick?

2. How old are you?

3. How old is she?


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## budda (Apr 11, 2010)

JohnIce said:


> Where's that :crash cymbal: gif when you need it?



Kickin' it old school in Google Video search


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## El Caco (Apr 20, 2010)

Thin_Ice_77 said:


> To make a long story short, me and my girlfriend had a big argument after which she told me to get out of her life and leave her alone. She wasn't interested in making up, so I kind of ended up having sex with an old friend of mine. Me and my girlfriend then made up again and today she found out what happened.
> 
> ...How the fuck do I make this better?



Haven't read the thread.

Been there and done that, trust me when I say it can't be repaired. She will never forget and never forgive, you can get back with her, you can get her to say you are forgiven but she will bring it back up over and over again whenever it suits her. IMO the best thing you can do is learn from it, walk away and get on with life.


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## El Caco (Apr 20, 2010)

troyguitar said:


> I'm a guy and I still wouldn't ever let something like that go. Why do people feel the need to fuck anything and everything all of the time?



Maybe I'm a hunter, maybe I enjoy the chase, I don't know it's just who I am. I don't cheat on my wife but she knows that my standards are pretty low and the only reason I do not fuck around is because I don't want her to fuck around. I'm not a bad person because I want to fuck almost anyone and everyone but I'm also aware that not every person is the right match for me and vice versa. 

My point is that not everyone is like you and not everyone is like me but your post comes across as pretty judgemental against people who are not just like you. Some girls wouldn't have a problem with it, my opinion is that any girl who would have a problem with me fucking any amount of people after she told me that she does not want a relationship with me isn't the type of girl I want to be with. I can understand her being jealous but if she is unable to acknowledge that she is the one who fucked up and I was free to do what or who I please and actually did nothing wrong, she is not right in the head IMO, well at least not for me.


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## jymellis (Apr 20, 2010)

synrgy said:


> THIS is 1989:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


 
nothing like holding on to the back of a vette on a diamond plated steel skateboard only to fly over a median and hit the bad guy in the head with said steel skateboard , god i loved that movie


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## El Caco (Apr 20, 2010)

Demoniac said:


> I'm sorry, but if this relationship actually meant shit to you, you would have tried this whole "win her back" thing *before* you went out and fucked the first piece of ass to come by.
> 
> EDIT: And for the record, my girlfriend has said things like that _many_ times... MANY MANY times. We're still together.



Once upon a time I might have agreed with that, as you get older you realise how much you hate games. When you take a step back the bigger factor is if you actually meant anything to her she wouldn't have said the shit she did. The whole win her back thing is bullshit, my opinion is if you are not married and the relationship is hard, run. If two people care about each other they shouldn't have to jump through hoops, pass tests, go through endless bullshit and the relationship shouldn't be a constant struggle.

Youth is incredibly short sighted, many young people commit far too easily and get too upset if any partner they have feelings for (that is any who will date them ) doesn't work out. It's probably why divorce rates are so high, if you even think you might like to find a partner to spend the rest of your life with think about that concept, "the rest of your life". You want to make sure that person is someone you will truly want to live for and will enjoy sharing the rest of your life with. That should be a person that just makes you happy, it shouldn't be a struggle to be together, that should be something that comes easy because trust me when I say after you are married you go through some hard times, if things are too hard before you are married, married life with that person will most likely be unbearable.

What does that all mean to me. I went through the situation when I was young and we got back together, our relationship was a mess and only got messier. If I did it again with what I know now, I would have gone a lot further than I did with the second girl with no regrets, I didn't have enough self respect to walk away and not look back when the girl I really cared for so easily said to me she didn't want to be with me or talk to me ever again. So my opinion looking back is fuck that if I'm dating a girl and she says that to me she isn't worth fighting for, I'd rather look for a girl who has her head screwed on right and who cares about me enough to never consider saying anything like that unless she really means it.


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## Origin (Apr 20, 2010)

Agreed with steve, crazy chicks will never be worth anyone's time. If she contradicts herself that heavily, even once, leave. The crazies aren't good for anything more than a lay.


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## jymellis (Apr 20, 2010)

s7eve said:


> Youth is incredibly short sighted, many young people commit far too easily and get too upset if any partner they have feelings for (that is any who will date them ) doesn't work out. It's probably why divorce rates are so high, if you even think you might like to find a partner to spend the rest of your life with think about that concept, "the rest of your life". You want to make sure that person is someone you will truly want to live for and will enjoy sharing the rest of your life with. QUOTE]
> 
> being 33 and married for 13 years i have something to add to this statement. i agree with everything you said but i would like to add this. you notice this mainly happens to teenagers. they think they WILL spend the rest of their life with this person, but at the same time, "life" to someone who is only 16 years old isnt very long. when your that young life doesnt seem to be long or mean much. think of it,they only understand life being as long as maybe 10 years. you dont think of that stuff until your about 10 or 11 ,so when you say "the rest of your life" the timeline is kinda screwed up because theyy understand the concept of "life is long" but dont really understand it. remeber how long summer break was in school? it seemed like a lifetime,so much happened over that 3-4 months. but now its gone in a blink. its all relative i thinkwow wtf was all that?


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## El Caco (Apr 20, 2010)

vampiregenocide said:


> Man at least you have a choice of women to fuck.
> 
> But seriously, she told you to get out, you sought refuge in someone else. Its no ones fault.





Randy said:


> Sorry, but no.





Scar Symmetry said:


> Yeah sorry Ross but I agree with Randy "Relationship Guru" Hogue here, this guy really knows his shit when it comes to understanding women/relationships



Nah fuck that, we are men not bitches. It's not our job to try and understand some type of mystic creature and try to pamper to all of their ever changing needs and live to worship and serve them for no return or the occasional root when they feel like it.

Understand this, there are too many girls out there who are fucked in the head, there is also too many guys out there who are fucked in the head. Make sure you are not fucked in the head, be sincere, don't settle for someone who is fucked in the head and make sure they are sincere.

Guys like sex often, girls like sex often, if you are not getting regular sex and feel like the other person has all the power deciding when you will have sex, run.

Men have feelings too, it's not a mans job to make a girl feel special all the time, to say sorry all the time to pamper to the girls every need and never have his needs met. If two people care about/love each other they want to spend time together, they hurt when their partner hurts, they both want to make the partner happy. If a girl can't say sorry, if she is apathetic, run. If she doesn't make you feel special, run. If you feel like it's your job to make her feel special and loved so she will stay with you, run.

Men and women are not as different as too many people believe, we have the same basic needs and desires, it's the ones that are different that you need to avoid. If you are different it might be time to consider that you might be FOS and do something about it. Being in a relationship is great, it is way better than being single, being single has it's perks but at least for me being in a relationship is better. It's a *partnership*, two people working together. You both want shit, you both want to have fun, you both want to feel loved, you both want sex that is mutually enjoyable (that means you both finish), you both need to know you can trust and rely on the other, you both need space to breathe, you both need to remain true to yourself and know that your partner knows who you are and loves you for who you are. Knowing all that you work together to make sure that the needs of both of you are being met, because you love each other it's mostly easy and doesn't need much thought or effort.

If you don't have that either the person you are with is not the right person for you or they have some type of issue (mental problem, baggage or other issue) that needs attention.


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## El Caco (Apr 20, 2010)

jymellis said:


> being 33 and married for 13 years i have something to add to this statement. i agree with everything you said but i would like to add this. you notice this mainly happens to teenagers. they think they WILL spend the rest of their life with this person, but at the same time, "life" to someone who is only 16 years old isnt very long. when your that young life doesnt seem to be long or mean much. think of it,they only understand life being as long as maybe 10 years. you dont think of that stuff until your about 10 or 11 ,so when you say "the rest of your life" the timeline is kinda screwed up because theyy understand the concept of "life is long" but dont really understand it. remeber how long summer break was in school? it seemed like a lifetime,so much happened over that 3-4 months. but now its gone in a blink. its all relative i thinkwow wtf was all that?



Yep


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## synrgy (Apr 20, 2010)

Way to own the thread, s7eve. I hear a lot of wisdom in those posts.


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## alexmurphy (Apr 20, 2010)

well you should have told her that before you 2 made up or you wouldnt be in as much trouble

all i can give for advice is try to show that you really are sorry, in whatever way you can. try your best to let her know you love her, not someone else. 

and it would help to let her win a fight once in a while. dont lose your control, but let her feel like she won every now and again


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## E Lucevan Le Stelle (Apr 24, 2010)

That SO isn't the biggest screwup ever.

You haven't even decided to invade Afghanistan yet, for god's sake


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## darbdavys (Apr 24, 2010)

I hope that old friend wasn't this old http://www.untoldentertainment.com/blog/img/2009_05_07/oldMan.jpg

and you should've told her


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## budda (Apr 24, 2010)

s7eve said:


> Nah fuck that, we are men not bitches. It's not our job to try and understand some type of mystic creature and try to pamper to all of their ever changing needs and live to worship and serve them for no return or the occasional root when they feel like it.
> 
> Understand this, there are too many girls out there who are fucked in the head, there is also too many guys out there who are fucked in the head. Make sure you are not fucked in the head, be sincere, don't settle for someone who is fucked in the head and make sure they are sincere.
> 
> ...



I don't really like the macho bravado inflection in this post (there isn't a lot of it, don't get mad Steve ), simply because I do not believe this "I am man, I hide emotions, I must be strong, buff, bull-headed and violent" image that the media wants us to believe (whole other topic, I know). BUT that being said, I agree with every point he makes: the relationship should be mutually beneficial, you will hit hurdles but it should be more good then bad by a wide margin, and if something isn't right then you owe it to yourself and your partner to be honest about that issue and to either resolve it, or end the partnership.

This post made me think about my last relationship and how it went, since I am young as well, and I know that "together until death do us part" generally means it, but I would still like to spend my life with my ex, despite the rough patches.


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## El Caco (Apr 24, 2010)

Re-reading my post I realise what post some guy who is probably fucked in the head mentioned when he called me out for using the phrase fucked in the head. I sure did use the term fucked in the head a lot in that post. I just want to clarify that when I wrote fucked in the head so many times in that post that it was after drinking 1/2 a bottle of Bourbon in a short time, FWIW I have almost finished the other half just now. 

It's not that I regret writing fucked in the head since fucked in the head it is a phrase that I will use in regular conversation, it probably helps that the people that I would use the term fucked in the head in conversation with are not so fucked in the head that they would consider themselves superior to me and look down on me thinking I am fucked in the head when I use the phrase fucked in the head. However I generally wouldn't use the phrase fucked in the head so many times in one conversation. FWIW I am not some kind of badass, I'm probably just a little fucked in the head at times, it could have something to do with the alcohol, who knows.

For those that struggle to understand what I mean when I use the phrase fucked in the head, in my above post I did not use the phrase fucked in the head to describe mental illness although fucked in the head can be used to describe mental illness. I often use fucked in the head as a term to strongly describe incorrect thinking, ignorant thinking (it goes without saying that this is my opinion) and I even use the term fucked in the head when someone does something or says something that is very stupid, in that situation I might ask "are you fucked in the head?" You might very well be thinking that I am a little fucked in the head now, if so I probably think you are a little fucked in the head.

I should add that when I used the term fucked in the head in my above post that I believe I was fucked in the head in my younger years when it comes to my thoughts regarding relationships. If I was using fucked in the head to describe mental illness it would mean that there is good chance I am still fucked in the head. If I am that kind of fucked in the head I would hope that you could forgive my misuse of fucked in the head due to my condition. I would like to think that if I was that kind of fucked in the head that I would not describe myself as fucked in the head, I think I prefer the term retardid and I think the guy that makes the retardid policeman videos is badass. IIRC I believe he has used the term fucked in the head but that may have been him quoting someone else. I know I am not the only person who uses the phrase fucked in the head, I sure as fuck did not invent it.

I know it isn't very PC to say fucked in the head the way I do, I don't care. I really don't think much of people who go overboard with this PC shit.

Oh and if I say fucked in the head two more times, ah fuck it that still isn't enough, I guess I'll never be as fucked in the head as Fred Durst.


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## Stealthdjentstic (Apr 24, 2010)

^ Major what the fuck, just how drunk are you


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## Varcolac (Apr 24, 2010)

Stealthtastic said:


> ^ Major what the fuck, just how drunk are you



Bourbon: it'll fuck you up.

In the head.


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## Janiator (Apr 24, 2010)

Most
Fucked
Post
Ever


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## El Caco (Apr 24, 2010)

In
The
Head

_Don't mind me, I'm just jumping on the bandwagon._


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## Evil7 (Apr 24, 2010)

I think people should say what the fuck they are thinking, even if they are fucked in the head or not. How someone voices their views = their personality. S7eve took the time to pass some wisdom.


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## El Caco (Apr 24, 2010)

Or I could have just been saying that when an Aussie says fucked in the head he might mean has mental problems but probably only means not thinking straight and I could have been trying to use the phrase fucked in the head as many times as possible in one post.


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## Adam Of Angels (Apr 24, 2010)

Bourbon is awesome, m8. 

To the OP - do NOT believe a woman when she says she never wants to talk to you again. However, don't talk to her ever again until she apologizes. Don't do this by fucking another woman.


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## Trespass (Apr 25, 2010)

synrgy said:


> This is why I avoid relationships like the plague they are. Until or unless I can find a woman that says what she means/means what she says, I'm done trying to play psychic-boy every day. REFUSE to play those kinds of games. Life's entirely too short for us both to be pissed off at each other 4 times longer than we would be if we were just HONEST.



I completely and utterly agree with this statement. I've been in positions recently where time required to defuse a situation or even comfort some incredibly inane emotional problem has directly resulted in lost rehearsal time.


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## Daemoniac (Apr 25, 2010)

s7eve said:


> Oh and if I say fucked in the head two more times, ah fuck it that still isn't enough, I guess I'll never be as fucked in the head as Fred Durst.





Holy shit dude, that made my day


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## Prydogga (Apr 25, 2010)

s7eve said:


> Or I could have just been saying that when an Aussie says fucked in the head he might mean has mental problems but probably only means not thinking straight and I could have been trying to use the phrase fucked in the head as many times as possible in one post.



Is fucked in the head the new cunt?


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## Daemoniac (Apr 25, 2010)

I know it's not that long compared to some of you guys, but me and the missus have been together 5 and a half years now... It's not "that" long i suppose, but it is long given how old we are, and because of our age and whatnot at the start of our relationship we did have moments like he has (with the game-playing/insecurity/not being sure/not being honest/not saying what we mean). What we _did_ do though, was try and make it work because if nothing else we did know we wanted to be together, and we are now at a more honest point where that shit doesn't happen, because we _made_ it happen.

It's all well and good to say "if i could go back with what i know now" or "i should have done this", but you can't, and you didn't. Teenage relationships just are not the same as the ones you have when you're older, even if you're still with the same person 

Relationships when you're young are always drama-filled, i don't know a single person that's been close to me over my schooling years who was in a relationship that didn't have some sort of dramas, and I think it's the age. That doesn't change the fact that you either want it to work at all costs and are willing to do whatever it takes to get over the bullshit teen drama, or you're not.

Seems like he wanted it to work but didn't have the balls/intelligence to see it through, and now he's in a stink with his ex-missus (the relationship that he really did want to work out) for which he has no-one to blame but himself, and it pisses me off that he's going to come on here to a public forum bitching and moaning about this tremendous fuck-up he's had that could have been prevented very _very_ simply by, yes, *himself*. If he wanted it to work, he should have thought about it and done something about it. If he didn't and doesn't care, then he shouldn't be having a fucking whinge on here.

EDIT: To cut a long story short, Thin_Ice, get the fuck over it and deal with it by talking to _her_ if you want it to work, of jump ship quick smart if you don't. Simple as that, but _you_ have to make a choice.


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## budda (Apr 25, 2010)

Just an update guys... He's in a relationship with someone right now - not sure if it's the same girl or not.


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## RenegadeDave (Apr 26, 2010)

Whatever happened to ol' thin ice anyways?


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## Thin_Ice_77 (Apr 28, 2010)

If anyone's interested, we made up and things are the best they've ever been.


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## ralphy1976 (Apr 28, 2010)

Thin_Ice_77 said:


> If anyone's interested, we made up and things are the best they've ever been.



glad to hear it mate, you were on thin ice. Hope you both learnt your lessons, now go'on and have "bes than ever now" casual sex!!! \m/\m/!!!


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## Dusty201087 (Apr 29, 2010)

I know this whole thing is solved now, and I'm happy for Thin Ice and everything, but I did not pin you guys as how you responded to this one. I mean really guys, put yourself in the position, you're young, your girlfriend just flipped the fuck out on you, and you have the chance to get laid. I'm not saying it was the RIGHT thing to do, but I guarantee a few of you are lying out your asses when you're being all high and mighty and saying you wouldn't. 

Plus I agree with Steve. I'm not the most literal person ever, but I don't play games. I long since told my girlfriend (we started dating at age 14 and 15 btw) that I wasn't going to play games. Guess what I don't have to do? Play games. If she's pissed at me, she tells me. If she told me "I don't want to see your face again", you know what I would do?

Consider myself single. And if she comes back, sorry. Nope. Not doing that shit. If you're going to have that much of a meltdown, NO WAY am I walking back into that.

Maybe I'm just weird or something, but that's just me. I know this has no effect on Thin's relationship, seeing as he's said it's all good now, I just saw this and couldn't help posting.


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## budda (Apr 30, 2010)

People DO have big meltdowns though, and would expect you to be around afterwards. Ever had a best friend go through a tough time, totally lose their shit, and then want to make sure their friendship was intact? Same thing, only there's romance and such involved here.

Depending on how strong the relationship is pretty much dictates how I'd handle the situation. Also, I wouldn't feel the need to inform the girl wanting me back of what I did in her absence - she really doesn't need to know.

Basically, how important is the relationship to you, and how well do you actually know what you're doing. I've learned a fair bit from my last relationship.


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## wlfers (May 1, 2010)

budda said:


> Also, I wouldn't feel the need to inform the girl wanting me back of what I did in her absence - she really doesn't need to know.



+1, especially if she disregarded our entire relationship by saying she never wanted to see me again.


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## LOGfanforever90 (May 3, 2010)

> > Also, I wouldn't feel the need to inform the girl wanting me back of what I did in her absence - she really doesn't need to know.
> 
> 
> 
> +1, especially if she disregarded our entire relationship by saying she never wanted to see me again.



I've been in a relationship with my gf for 5 years, and if there's one thing I hate it's mind games. But that does not excuse sleeping with a friend that soon after a relationship, you just don't do that. I have friends who do the whole "break up, sleep with someone, get back together" thing and it really confuses me as to how you can be with someone after that happens. [2cents]


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## budda (May 3, 2010)

its called a break and needing to feel needed by somebody else - you CAN get bored of the person you're with and still love them.


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