Your favourite for-television movie edits

Discussion in 'Movies, Books, TV & Media' started by bostjan, Apr 11, 2018.

  1. bostjan

    bostjan MicroMetal Contributor

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    You know what I'm asking?

    For example:



    I have had it with these monkey fighting snakes on this Monday to Friday plane! Everybody strap in! 'bout to open some freaking windows.

    I find this hilarious.

    My other favourite, for different reasons:



    It's like a totally different voice every time there is an edit. :lol:

    I remember when I was a kid, there was some movie on television at a friend's house, and during an intense scene, one of the characters said "You slug in a ditch!" and we both couldn't stop laughing.

    Honorable mention is the scene from The Big Lebowski, where John Goodman is destroying that guy's sports car and says "This is what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps!" It makes no monthly funded sense in that context!

    What are your favourites?
     
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  2. EverDream

    EverDream SS.org Regular

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    "monkey fighting snakes" :rofl:
     
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  3. wankerness

    wankerness SS.org Regular

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    This happened all the time way back in the day, and I think they reverted a lot of the ones I remember. Like, I remember in Tremors, someone said "MELVIN, one of these days someone's going to kick your ass!!" On TV, he said "MELVIN, one of these days someone's going to kick your (butt)" with "butt" being in a completely different pitch and probably someone else's voice entirely. I don't miss the days of watching movies on TV :D

    I liked TV edits of movies for violence or whatever sometimes also. There's a great extra on the recent blu-ray of "The Thing" of the full network TV broadcast version in which there are practically no special effects left in! Then it has a few new useless, boring scenes thrown back in to try to pad out the fact they'd edited it by several minutes and it no longer filled up the broadcast slot. I had a taped version of the broadcast premiere of Return of the Jedi, also, where it inexplicably chopped out the part where Leia and Wicket got ambushed by a trooper, and where it slightly less inexplicably cut out the part where Leia killed Jabba (so as far as we knew, he blew up in the sail barge) and where the fat guy cried about his rancor. Intense stuff, way too hot for TV.
     
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  4. Andrew Lloyd Webber

    Andrew Lloyd Webber Part-time Elon Musk impersonator

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  5. Necris

    Necris Bonitis.

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    I remember watching Event Horizon for the very first time in a broadcast on SciFi back in the early 2000s. I finally saw the proper version many years later and while I don't care to ever watch the film again I'd love to see that SciFi broadcast edit now just for comparison's sake. It would probably be comical.
     
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  6. KnightBrolaire

    KnightBrolaire ERG hoarder

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    The faculty tv edit is hilarious.
    "Cheez n rice"
    "Cluck you"
    Etc
     
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  7. ElRay

    ElRay Mostly Harmless

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    I always got a kick out of the intentional deviations by one specific character in "Johnny Dangerously". Among the winners: "Farking Ice Hole"
     
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  8. Carrion Rocket

    Carrion Rocket Registered Lurker

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    two great ones:
    "Where'd you get the beauty scar tough guy, eating pineapple?"
    "This town like a great big chicken just waiting to be plucked"

    The change from "lesbian" to "lame brain" always confused me though.
     
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  9. KnightBrolaire

    KnightBrolaire ERG hoarder

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    YIPPE KI YAY MR FALCON


    You're a crumbag!
     
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  10. wankerness

    wankerness SS.org Regular

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    Ah jeez, Robocop....I wonder how or if they showed that back in the day. Even the R-rated DVD/VHS were heavily censored!! That video is purely language edits. Some of the key scenes of the movie seem like they'd have had to just been removed. Like, I wonder if Murphy happens upon Boddicker's gang and it just cuts to his partner finding him and her reaction without even showing his body!! "The Thing" was massively, massively censored and almost none of the material disposed of is half as offensive as Robocop. I guess it's a few years older.

    I have NEVER heard of "Scumbags" being considered an offensive word until that video!!
     
    Last edited: Apr 12, 2018
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  11. bostjan

    bostjan MicroMetal Contributor

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    I remember when I saw "The Doors" with Val Kilmer aired on PBS. Virtually every scene with Jim Morrison was edited out, so the continuity of the movie made no sense at all. :lol:

    That's mother fathering perfect!

    I might have to try to track that one down.

    Cheez n rice is one I hadn't heard before. Being raised going to a fundamentalist Christian school, I'm a bit surprised that hasn't caught on. I had heard "Cheesy Crusts!" though. :lol:

    I remember the "ice hole" thing. I forgot which movie I saw as a kid that used that one, but it might have been the same.

    Cheese n crumbs! That was cod-dam hilarious! The pineapple line is brilliant, but the premise of showing Scarface on television just seems batty from the start. I don't care how great of a job he did editing it, literally every memorable scene in that movie has something to do with drugs, violence, drugs and violence, or profanity.

    The Yippie Ki Yay Mr. Falcon line is another one I remember; it's just too funny to forget. I'm glad you found a clip of the Big Lebowski, too.

    Some of the Robocop ones are really confusing to me. Like, it's not okay to say "scumbag," but, it's okay to replace "goddammit" with "ahh, dammit!"?

    In the clip @KnightBrolaire posted, did you see the (very crudely rendered) CGI tank-top the lady was wearing at around 45 seconds?
     
  12. Rosal76

    Rosal76 SS.org Regular

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    Some t.v. stations air alternate versions of "The Road Warrior (1982)". First time I saw it on t.v., I noticed that some scenes were longer and/or had different shots than the version I saw on the VHS version.



    The picture below is from the t.v. version and you don't see the red car on the far right on the VHS version. I like the t.v. version/wider shot better because you see more.

    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Apr 12, 2018
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  13. wankerness

    wankerness SS.org Regular

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    Uhhh...practically EVERY movie lost things in the VHS version, apart from open matte flicks! That's an odd single thing to point out, out of the entire history of pan & scan?
     
  14. Andrew Lloyd Webber

    Andrew Lloyd Webber Part-time Elon Musk impersonator

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    I forget if it’s that or “peas and rice” that Simon Pegg yells in the TV edit of Hot Fuzz.

    I was on a transpacific flight in ‘99 that played a family-friendly edit of “The Wedding Singer.” It was an eye-opening introduction to how flimsy Adam Sandler’s entire schtick was (with many of his exclaimed profanities replaced with unintelligible groans and screaming).
     
  15. devastone

    devastone SS.org Regular

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    That whole movie was hilarious!

     
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  16. ElRay

    ElRay Mostly Harmless

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    "That's OK. I know this grapevine." :rofl: ... and the contact paper on the get-away vehicle ...
     

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