Who are you ignoring right now?

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by PunkBillCarson, Dec 2, 2017.

  1. PunkBillCarson

    PunkBillCarson SS.org Regular

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    As someone who used to find it annoying when you message someone and they don't reply, I've got to say, I'm starting to see why not responding or not feeling like you have to respond to a text or a message can be liberating.

    Some might see not replying to someone as rude or immature, but quite honestly, with me approaching my 30's in a couple years, I personally don't feel that I should have to explain why I'm an introvert and my lack of actions because of it.

    Here's the full story: The only person in the town that I live in that resembles something close to a friend is constantly bothering me about this girl he wants to be with that I told him to stay away from from the very beginning. She's got four baby daddies and now a fifth, somehow they were ALL woman beaters (red flag should be popping up at that) and she's demonstrated infidelity time and again and yet somehow, he thinks that he's somehow special. I've gotten to where I ignore him more often than not and most of what I call my friends are online, specifically Twitch/Discord. I find that I connect to them much more and there is friendship to be had when you have somebody who's like-minded. It's easy to find like-minded people when you look for a video game being streamed, it makes conversations much easier to start when you already know what they like.

    This particular person also has a tendency to be particularly annoying. Try and have a debate with him say Goku vs Thanos, and when he can't win a debate with any kind of reasoning which is most of the time, he'll laugh and take the debate off into an unrelated tangent or just say something like "Goku wins because he's Goku." Now this is merely an example, but I like to debate and I find that kind of behavior rather childish. There's also the matter of any time he messages me when he's excited about something, I do my best to try and be as excited as he is to let him know that somebody at least half ass cares. I'll ask questions about it to try and find more out about it. When I tell him about something that I find exciting, I either get a "hell yeah" or no response at all.

    It is because of instances like this that I find myself less and less capable of dealing with drivel and bullshit especially so close to home.

    So tell me, folks, are there people that you consistently ignore? Do you feel like it's right? Feel like it's wrong?
     
  2. Hollowway

    Hollowway Extended Ranger

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    I ignore people when the answer isn’t simple, or if I’m not ready to launch into a long conversation. If I don’t have a lot of time to have a text conv I’ll just ignore the first message, rather than answer once, and THEN stop. Cuz they might get mad then.
    Now, I have read receipts off, because I do not have the cojones to read a message, let the sender know, and then not text back. :lol:

    But in your case, I see no problem with not texting back.

    I should also point out that I rarely answer my phone. If I don’t recognize the number, it’s going right to VM, and I’ll let Siri translate it so I can glance at it like a text.
     
  3. Ebony

    Ebony "The Sugarcoater"

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    Encourage him to go after her, then he'll get too busy to bother you.
     
  4. PunkBillCarson

    PunkBillCarson SS.org Regular

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    Well I would, but the problem is when he does pursue her and she lets him down, he comes back bitching about it.
     
  5. naw38

    naw38 SS.org Regular

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    Two things; how's that a red flag? Good for him being the sort of person to step in and break the cycle. And as far as infidelity goes... meh. Monogamy's a fairy tale perpetuated by the Christian hangover that inflicts our culture. I think it's time for people to move past that shit.

    Beyond that, the dude sounds like a drag and you should just cut him loose; I've got an old friend who's exactly the same. She'll message every so often to see how I'm doing, except no, she's not interested in how I'm doing she just wants to bitch about how awful her life is and is incapable of making follow up questions or showing an interest in anything beyond her own suffering. I keep replying to her to be polite 'cause that's how I'm wired and every time I regret it. Ugh.
     
  6. PunkBillCarson

    PunkBillCarson SS.org Regular

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    You don't find it suspicious that a woman got with five woman beaters in a row? There's also been reason to believe in the past that she was lying about two of them.

    As far as monogamy goes, I'm sorry, but I do not agree. If you're with someone in an actual relationship, beyond some sort of agreement or understanding, sexual activity with another person isn't exactly what many consider to be a good thing. That has nothing to do with Christianity, people from all walks of life find cheating to be distasteful.
     
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  7. naw38

    naw38 SS.org Regular

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    Suspicious how? I think that as with anything in life, it's very easy to fall into patterns and habits that can be harmful and self destructive without realising it. If your sense of self worth is so low that you routinely end up with people that beat you, that's an issue that needs to be resolved, not a character flaw. I was dating a woman a few years back whose piece of shit ex broke her arm in front of their child. That didn't mean there was anything wrong with her, beyond having bad taste in men (there was plenty wrong with her though, she was a racist shit heel for one. Glad I got out of there.).

    No need to be sorry, you don't have to agree, man. I just think that our cultural programming, coming from thousands of years of being moulded by anachronistic dogma (and you're right, it is in other cultures as well, but every country or culture has their own cultural hang ups and it's not just from Christianity) has made us deny our genetic programming, making most people apply too much emotional baggage to things like sex. I know I fall into that trap too, against my rational judgement.
     
  8. marcwormjim

    marcwormjim SS.org Regular

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    I hope this is on-topic; because I can’t see any of the posts in this thread.
     
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  9. Anquished

    Anquished hhnice!

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    I've started ignoring a few people that constantly take the mick out of me for being Vegetarian. It was funny the first few times, but when the jokes aren't even reused I can't be bothered to listen. (FYI I couldn't care less if you want to eat meat, I have nothing against other peoples dietary choices). :lalala:
     
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  10. bostjan

    bostjan MicroMetal Contributor

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    I never willfully ignore someone, I only put off responding to them, sometimes indefinitely, depending on circumstances. If I'm actively ignoring someone, it's always because of someone else and because of a complicated situation, but it rips at me to leave anything unresolved - kind of a tick I have.

    The one I hear all of the time is "you can't survive without protein!" My stock response is now, "Ok, let's assume that somehow only meat contains protein. I've been vegetarian for >15 years, so, then I must be dead, but I'm standing here, so I must be undead, therefore I am a zombie, so you should be glad I'm vegetarian and just want to eat your grains instead of your brains."

    Which changes what? If he pursues her against your judgement, he will still come to you for support afterward. If he decides not to do so, then there'll always be something else. It's kind of part of friendship, as annoying as it can be. Some of my friends' relationships that I warned against ended up in marriage. You just never know.
     
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  11. vilk

    vilk Very Regular

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    Ignoring my parents. My mom is fucking obsessed with family gatherings, you'd think it's the absolute only thing she cares about in life. But she hurt herself badly and has been in the ER, and I believe this to be a direct result of having hosted Thanksgiving.

    She wont shut the fuck up about hosting Christmas despite that she cannot even stand or walk. I told her she should not do it, that her cousin (who is a doctor and has a huge house) can host it instead--I find out he even already offered her, but she refused.

    If you refuse to listen to reason, then go fucking hurt yourself, don't fucking call me when you're bedridden for the next few months.

    Maybe I should have posted in the angry thread. But point being is that I'm too angry to even contact them about it. I've been putting it off for days. I think I'm just going to continue to not talk to him until Christmas is over in hopes that my worries that she'll hurt herself further or cause my father to hurt himself wont come to fruition.

    I don't even feel sorry for my injured mother, but rather my dad, because my mom is a fucking bitch like the world has never seen when she's laid up on the couch and taking opium pills.
     
  12. TedEH

    TedEH Cromulent

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    I think that's looking at it backwards though. Infidelity is not about sex, it's about the relationship. Hangups about multiple partners is one whole discussion, and you probably have an argument in terms of it being fine to have multiple partners (as long as they're all cool with it), but infidelity is an issue of breaking someones trust. If you've entered into the kind of relationship where it's established (or assumed) that you won't be sleeping with other people, then cheating breaks that trust.

    Back on topic - I don't deliberately ignore people, but I do go through phases of trying to stay out of contact with people I don't feel like talking to. I'm not big on family events (especially right now when everyone has decided I'm too thin and tries to force tons of food on me), so yeah, I don't talk to family unless I have to. And I'm learning to just say no if I'm invited somewhere and just don't feel like it.
     
  13. bostjan

    bostjan MicroMetal Contributor

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    I'm sure this isn't universal, but in my mind, ignoring someone is quite different from telling them "no" when they want to hang out or talk. I think we are in a culture where people believe it is more polite to ignore someone than to tell them "no," yet it is more polite to be told "no" than to be ignored, which, if my observation is correct, creates a dissonance in our social norms that necessarily leads to quiet conflict where people feel slighted by one another, yet not slighted severely enough to resolve the issues.

    The culture in the city of Detroit has a lot of problems, but this is one thing I always admired about my original hometown - people seem much more willing to speak their minds than elsewhere I've lived. I think Philly seems to work the same way. I think people get along much better, generally speaking, when you actually work out your differences with each other, rather than allowing them to fester. :2c:

    In small town Vermont, much of the populace doesn't know how to react to someone who is frank with them. Maybe it's because when life moves at a slower pace, you have time to do the whole song and dance of "Hey you, how's the weather up in _____ town? The weather here has been _____. How is your family doing? Things okay on the farm? How's your car?" with the person asking all of these questions not even paying a damn bit of attention to the answers. After two minutes, if you're luck, or twenty, if not, the person will finally get around to asking you to stop parking where you park, because it's where they like to plow the snow or whatever... In Detroit, the entire conversation would last six seconds: "Move your damn car! It's in my way!" I guess there is a more polite way to tell someone to move his or her car, but if everyone's in a hurry, do we really need to talk about how the farm dog is nipping at the sheep because the barn roof is leaking and making him cranky?

    And as for relationships, I agree 100%. It's easy to look at a relationship between two people, and judge someone, but even though people are generally pretty simple, situations and relationships involving >1 person are strangely complicated, usually because person A will behave like person A, person B will behave like person B, then the relationship gets tangled up in how person A and person B react to each other's behaviour in ways that those people would never behave without whichever stimuli exist between them due to their incompatibilities with each other. OR - in some cases, a synergy forms rather than a conflict and the two people may bring out the best in each other. You can never expect one nor the other, specifically, even if you know the two people rather well.
     
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