The "Tell me a true story that I won't believe" thread

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by bostjan, Mar 7, 2017.

  1. bostjan

    bostjan MicroMetal Contributor

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    Speaking of tickets:

    I had just moved to Indianapolis. (the forum somehow deleted this part of the story) I had just started a new job and woke up in the morning to find out I had lost my voice. Without any way to call in, I decided to go to work and try to pantomime my situation to my boss, and go from there. So I get ready, and just as I pull into the street, I see a city cop fly up behind me. I thought it was odd, since I had just left my house, but he had plenty of room to pull around me, then his flashers came on, so I pulled over.

    The cop came up to the window, shouting "Why'd you run from me?! You're lucky; I could have opened fire!" I was shocked, but I had lost my voice, so I was totally unable to communicate verbally. Trying to pantomime that I needed a pen or pencil, the cop thought I was being a smartass, and wrote me a ticket for speeding (which I could not have been, seeing as how I had only just pulled away from the curb). I think I must have been mistaken for another person.
     
    Last edited: Mar 14, 2017
  2. High Plains Drifter

    High Plains Drifter SS.org Regular

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    ^^^ This is prob way more hilarious to me than it actually was... since I'm picturing this dude fully dressed as a mime with white face and all, going thru this complex routine to convey his situation lol.

    Couple more pretty tame ones...

    Was at Mardi Gras many years ago. Towards the end of the last wknd, cops were clearing the streets. Suddenly I notice all this commotion close to me. I'm guessing that a fight broke out ( tons of ppl everywhere). Well... For whatever reason, I guess I appear to be part of it. Without warning, as I'm just watching the craziness... somebody full-on jumps me from behind and throws me to the asphalt. Obviously I'm like "WTF???". It's an amped-up cop and dude is completely crushing me and screaming at me to put my arms behind my back. I'm trying to get one arm out from underneath myself but I can't because of the weight on top of me. He's now yelling for me to stop resisting. I wasn't! At this point another cop has my face pinned to the street with his f-ing boot. Anyway... long story short, I get tagged for disorderly conduct and put on one of the buses ( bound for the jail). My face is bloody af now. My saving grace is that it's the end of the night and the clink is already packed like a sardine-can so they allowed almost all of us to just leave. I walked home in socks... no idea what happened to my shoes lol. I've actually got a picture of the broken glass that was embedded into my cheek and my face covered in dried blood that my buddy took the next morning. What a night.

    Another funny one...

    My buddy and I are hanging out in his car behind some gas station one night. It's late and we're just listening to jams and power-grazing Good-N-Plenty candy like it's crack. No big deal.. just a boring night. So.. I get out and go up to the window to buy a Mt Dew and the 2 employees are looking at me suspicious af. So much so that I told my buddy that "employees are acting weird so lets jet". We head back to his parent's house and when we get there, a huge presence of cops descends upon us. This is serious cause they're having us exit the vehicle with hands up/ one at a time/ walk backwards/ lie down... the whole deal. They're even spotlighting us with an eye in the sky. Neighbors obviously are pouring out onto into their yards and my buddy's Mom... sweetest lady you'd ever meet... comes running out in her nightgown... big unharnessed mom-boobs flying all around. She's freaking out. They're having her drop to the ground. Then his Dad.. same thing/ less boobs. They've got us cuffed now and they're going thru his Buick Skylark with a fine-toothed comb. Turns out that the gas station had a customer report that they thought we had a gun. Obviously they decided that we were going to rob them. Very funny if you knew my friend and I... Couple of the most passive and gentle guys that you'd ever meet lol. They actually found an empty bowl (no drugs though) but didn't even care about it in the least. After a lot of procedures and discussions and time... they finally let us go.

    Now... the really bizarre part of this story, is that my car was also there parked on the street in front of the house. It was a '71 Impala and I had a 410g shotgun in the trunk. I honestly don't even remember why I would've had it... maybe planning to pawn it... idk. Anyway, even though the police had SEEN us pull up to the house in the Skylark ( that matched the description), they still wanted to [understandably] look through my car as well. They went through the vehicle and found nothing. Then decided that they wanted to search the trunk. Now I'm freaking out. I hand the officer the key and he starts trying to get the trunk open. Well, this is an old piece of crap car all beat up and the lock won't open. He tries and tries and even hands me the key so that I can try. I honest to God... could NOT get it open either. Sometimes it worked, other times it didn't. They eventually just said screw it and let it go... figuring that if it was taking that much effort, that there was obviously nothing in there that could be easily accessed. No idea how that would've played into anything. Still though... very glad that we weren't able to get that trunk open lol.
     
  3. bostjan

    bostjan MicroMetal Contributor

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    Dude! You've been through some stuff!

    I've been arrested before, but never went to jail. I don't appear to have a record, so I guess if the police say "you are under arrest" and then you manage to fast talk explain the situation before your face is under someone's boot, then it doesn't get recorded, maybe.

    I'm a basic law-abiding citizen, but I understand how being in the wrong place at the wrong time can end very badly in a number of ways, particularly with law enforcement.

    Growing up in Detroit, I was really lucky. My timing was exceptional. I once left a bank just as a stick up started, and I once was just getting into the parking lot of a convenience store when a guy ran out after having just murdered someone inside. I once left a night club because a fight was seemingly getting out of hand, to find out the next day that one of the people ended up blowing the other one away just seconds after we left.

    This was all in the 80's and 90's and maybe 2000-2001. I think things have calmed down a little since then.

    Rural Vermont is a lot different. News stories here are usually about local politics, or farmer Dan's fugitive livestock, or teenagers having a loud party.
     
  4. High Plains Drifter

    High Plains Drifter SS.org Regular

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    Same here in regards to law-abiding. Into my mid twenties I had begun appreciating freedom and being alive lol. Bizarre things still continue to follow me but getting away from so many negative and questionable influences has truly helped me to establish a much calmer and more sane existence now.

    Went on a trip to Macinac Island when I was maybe 12-13. I don't even think that anything crazy happened iirc lol. I also went to Dearborn Michigan and Washington DC when I was young and I'll never forget how fascinating yet frightening the sights and sounds were... crime, homelessness, restlessness, congestion, etc... That was quite sobering for a farm-boy like me. I'd never been exposed to things like that as a kid. I feel like growing up in Detroit would have been sometimes quite scary... idk. I guess if that's all someone's used to, that maybe it's not so bad but damn... you had some close calls it seems. Alternatively, Vermont seems like a very pleasant place to live. Always wanted to ski Stowe or Killington but never got the chance.
     
  5. Edika

    Edika SS.org Regular

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    Dude these are really wild stuff you've been through.

    I've always been avoiding trouble as much as possible and in general be law abiding. People look and act weird? Stay away. Kids back in school that were rough around the edges? Keep away as much as possible.

    So no stories that seem unbelievable.

    One interesting story I can recall was when I was in the University I got quite political and tried to participate in the common issues. There was a change in the way they would hire teachers in school in my home country, going from a broken system to just national exams. We were protesting that system and the idiotic change in front of schools that were used as exam centers and it must have been like 20 of us, half of them girls and there was a squad of about 20 fully equipped riot cops in front of the entrance. We weren't obstructing the entrance just protesting peacefully in front it. Suddenly they moved towards us banging their globs on their shields to frighten us and believe me it was scary.
    We were in a line and tried to hold them off for the girls to escape and of course couldn't hold them for long. At that moment I was thinking 'wtf am I doing here and why are they attacking us as we didn't provoke them?'. The line was breaking up and I proceeded to turn away and run for it when I got clogged in the back of my head, lost my balance and had three of these assholes on me kicking me, hitting me with globs and cursing at me. Luckily another guy pushed them off and dragged me out. I went to the hospital just to be sure and got checked with hopefully no damage to my head or any broken bones. I was bruised all over for the next few days. I found out later that day that another political faction in the other entrance of the school attacked them and they got orders to preemptively attack us as well.

    I'll never forget the hate and rage they were exhibiting and even though I never have trusted the police in my country. Most of them in that department, as well as others in the police force, were actually affiliated with the nazi party in my country as more info has been coming out in recent years.
     
  6. steinmetzify

    steinmetzify CHUG & SLUDGE

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    This one is weird.

    Was living in Denver CO when I was around 24-25...buddy and I had started a remodeling business and were getting good referrals. I was supervising a decently sized residential job we were doing in Glenwood Springs, and it was pretty tame for me as we had a good crew. I had to show up at the site for minor things, signing for deliveries, occasionally installing a beginning cabinet in a line, etc...

    Most of my time was spent reading, either on the site or after hours/weekends in a local bar on the main drag. I'd get a shot and nurse a beer for an hour or so, get another shot, another beer and so on.

    Get done in the bar one Saturday evening around 5:30...had gone in about 3:30, so I'd had a couple shots and a couple beers....no way drunk, and was hungry so I was heading for a place just down the street that had good food.

    Step out of the bar, feel a tug on my coat sleeve and hear "Daddy!"

    Look down, and there's a little girl about 5 years old, never seen her before in my life.

    Smiled at her, and said: "I'm sorry honey, there must be some mistake, I'm not your daddy."

    Her: "Yes you are, where have you been? I missed you!"

    Right then this woman about my age comes flying up the street and stops right next to us. I'm looking at her, and even though I'd swear I've never seen her before she was instantly familiar, like INSTANTLY....like I'd known her for years. I knew every line of her face, I knew what it was going to look like when she flipped her hair back (which she did as soon as I thought about it), I knew what she smelled like. Was weird.

    Little girl says: "Mom I found daddy!"

    Woman: "That's not your daddy honey, c'mon let's go."

    Little girl: "Mom it is so, I was looking and found him!"

    Woman to me: "I'm sorry Scott, have a nice evening." and she starts walking away.

    Takes a second, but I realize that this woman I don't know just called me by name, with no way for her to know. I own my own business, I don't wear a nametag, she doesn't work at the bar or the restaurant or the jobsite.

    I open my mouth and say "Wait!"

    She turns real quick and says "Nope".

    I'm standing there with my mouth open, and they walk away, the little girl still fussing verbally with her mom about 'her daddy'. I stayed on at that job for another 3 weeks, hitting the same routine and never saw them again.

    At the time I hadn't had any kids, never even close, no GFs with abortions, nothing. To this day it still bugs me, and to this day (I'm 43 now) I have no idea who that woman was. I've gone through all my yearbooks, talked to friends, nothing. Never saw her again, not in life, not on FB, never in the Glenwood Springs area (which I've been back to numerous times for work), never in Denver, nowhere.

    I'm a redhead, got fair skin and really blue eyes, and that woman was dark haired/darker skin toned with brown eyes. The kid had red hair/fair skin and really blue eyes, and looked a lot like I did at that age.
     
  7. crystAlex

    crystAlex SS.org Regular

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    You are a magnet for happenings.
    Ever found someone with an actual talent for channeling you could talk to?
     
  8. steinmetzify

    steinmetzify CHUG & SLUDGE

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    Yeah, my wife has a friend who's supposed to be psychic. I never really believed in it, until she gave me a reading one day.

    She told me that when I was about 1 1/2 or 2, I almost drowned. I'd been on a picnic with my family and was sitting by the shore of a lake and fell in, and that one of my uncles who was there saw it and had to jump in and save me.

    I'd never heard this story before...I've been able to swim ever since I could remember. Next time I saw my mom I asked her about it. She got really pale and wanted to know why I was asking. I told her the story, and she said she'd never told me the story because she'd always felt ashamed she wasn't watching me more closely. The uncle that jumped in for me lives close by now, and I asked him about it too. Dude corroborated, everything happened pretty much the way she said it did.

    My mom taught me to swim about 3 days later.

    I'd never heard the story before, there's no way my wife had either. Was weird.
     
  9. crystAlex

    crystAlex SS.org Regular

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    I can totally get some people are quite 'connected'.
    Would you consider telling that story with the miss and the kid to her, or is it sensitive, her being your wife's friend and all?
     
  10. steinmetzify

    steinmetzify CHUG & SLUDGE

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    Yeah, it's a little sensitive and I don't really want to say anything in front of my wife, nor do I really want to tell this woman as it's HER friend, not our friend.
     
  11. crystAlex

    crystAlex SS.org Regular

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    That's what I figured.
    Still, haunting story. I couldn't not try to at least scratch the surface. Thanks for sharing!
     
  12. youngthrasher9

    youngthrasher9 SS.org Regular

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    I once held an MMA-style kick pad for a ballerina. I got air, and the couch I landed on (3ft? behind me) scooted a couple inches on the hardwood. Don't f*** with ballerinas. Keep in mind I was a solid 150lb teenager at the time. Once I caught my breath back I couldn't stop laughing.

    I once killed a gold bellied finch with an accidental discharge of airsoft gun while hiding in a bush. Sorry Tweetie.

    Another time, I managed to nail a Pepsi bottle with a .22lr from an easy 200 yards out. Before you ask- yes the bullet drop was insane. It took more than one try.

    One winter, my dad was cleaning his office. He took the paper bag he had filled with scrap paper and junk mail over the previous months, and jammed the whole thing in our wood stove when we had the fire roaring. Naturally, being a pyro, I sat watching the paper burn. Then, all of the sudden, *BOOOM!!!*

    Something exploded in the stove, literally bulging the glass and shooting 18"+ flames out both sides of where the door met the stove. I nearly shat a brick, but somehow nothing was damaged.

    The next day I emptied the ashes from the stove to find (what was left of) an aerosol gun cleaning solvent cylinder. Gun cleaning solvent = highly flammable. Aerosol = high pressure. Aerosol+solvent+fire= boom.

    Having seen the results of an uncontained aerosol explosion in person, I'd venture to guess flames probably jetted out of our chimney pipe during the boom.
     
  13. USMarine75

    USMarine75 Doc McStuffins Contributor

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    I got bit by a 10 inch poisonous centipede on my ..... while I was in med school. Can I say ..... on here? Nope guess I can't.

    Anyways... My pulse and BP went through the roof, which wasn't good, because we were seeing patients in an hour. I was sweating and pale and everyone was looking at me. I told them what happened and they made me drop trou so they could all look. Lucky for me the shaft was really swollen so I was packing a tuna can that day.
     
  14. youngthrasher9

    youngthrasher9 SS.org Regular

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    Lmao

    That's a good one. Reminds me of We're The Millers
     
  15. bostjan

    bostjan MicroMetal Contributor

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    Wait a second, there is part of the story you aren't telling us. :nono:

    Come to think of it, though, I'm not sure I want to know. :lol:

    I was also bit by a centipede, but it was a run-of-the-mill native Michigan centipede, and it was no where near 10 inches long, but it hurt like nothing else. I'd rather stand on a nest of fire ants for five minutes than deal with that again.
     
  16. Alborz

    Alborz SS.org Regular

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    i was dead and came back to life. true story i was resuscitated
     
  17. bostjan

    bostjan MicroMetal Contributor

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    What happened? :eek:
     

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