The "Tell me a true story that I won't believe" thread

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by bostjan, Mar 7, 2017.

  1. bostjan

    bostjan MicroMetal Contributor

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    So, I've had my fair share of absolutely bizarre things happen in my life. Most were when I lived in Detroit, as a teen. No one ever believed my insane stories unless they were there with me when things happened.

    What is the craziest thing that happened to you that nobody believes (obviously keep things appropriate for the forum)?

    I'll kick it off with what's, well, not the craziest thing that ever happened, but the one that none of my friends believed, and got out of hand.

    Background:

    I used to live in Detroit. People drive pretty ragey there. So, one day, I was driving up I-75 just north of the city (around 14 mile road for any Michiganders out there), and this traffic altercation started between an unmarked work van and a nicer Cadillac. I was behind both vehicles, and watched as the Van cut over into the left lane in front of the Caddy, because of a slower car in the center lane, then the Caddy revved up and passed the van on the right, and stomped the brake pedal. Next, the van sped way up, weaved through traffic, cut the Caddy off, but instead of braking, the driver's side door opened up (we were going ~65 mph), and this old rusty spade shovel came tumbling out into the lane. The Caddy swerved too late and ran over the shovel, shredding the tyre, and also flinging the shovel way up in the air. The shovel actually went over my car, without making contact, spinning wildly, and then embedded itself into the grille of the SUV behind me. The van sped off, leaving two vehicles disabled.

    Now that's not the most exciting story you've heard, I'm sure, but here's the entertaining part:

    When I got to the University, I told all of my friends this crazy story. Nobody believed me. They said that you couldn't open your driver's side door if you were going 65 mph, because of air resistance, and that such a nasty accident would have been reported in the news (mind you, this was not far from Detroit, in the 1990's, so most front page news was pretty serious stuff). The mature version of me would have left it at that, but the 18 year old me was hell bent on proving my story's truth. I went back later that day to the site of the chaos, and tried to find the shovel, on a busy highway just before dusk. I came up empty, but nearly got myself killed. Later, I was driving some friends and the story came up again, so I opened my driver's side door while doing 65 mph just to prove it was possible. I was kind of an asshole.

    To this day, nobody believes a word of my story. You probably don't, either, but maybe you were entertained by this.

    Now it's your turn. Tell me a story that I won't believe, so I can feel better about myself. :lol:
     
  2. ThePIGI King

    ThePIGI King Death Will Reign

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    Was driving home from Florida on Christmas Eve with the family, looking for somewhere to eat, when, I kid you not, Santa Clause was being arrested for a DUI outside of a Denny's.

    The looks on the little kids faces inside the Denny's was priceless.
     
  3. bostjan

    bostjan MicroMetal Contributor

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    Ha ha! At least your family was with you to see it, too, right?

    You have the right to remain Silent Night; anything you say can be used against Yule...
     
  4. squids

    squids .

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    i went to community college for a semester, about 2 years ago, so i have a couple of good ones, idk if they're "unbelievable" but they're pretty funny.
    being a community college, A LOT of different people are always there, and while i was mainly in the science department, sometimes id have a late night or lunch break in the library. i was sitting outside the library at a desk and down the hall are the bathrooms. i saw an older man on this handicapped one legged scooter-looking thing go into the bathroom, and like 2 minutes later, watched the same guy chase a thuggish kid out of there, yelling "that stall is for us, boy!" while the kid ran off swearing. (i've never heard of this happening so i thought it was hilarious)

    on another occasion, i was taking a plant biology class, in which part of the final project was to give a presentation on a plant. all semester, there had been this kid who kinda didn't show up much, didn't really help on group projects, etc. for his presentation, he picked to present "hallucinogenic mushrooms" and thought it would be a great idea to not only grow the mushrooms he talked about (he LEGALLY bought spores so they were the real thing), but bring them into class and pass them around. the professor quickly grabbed them and talked to him outside the room, but i saw him the next class so idk what ended up happening.
     
  5. mongey

    mongey SS.org Regular

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    when I was living in Whistler Canada for a while.me and 2 other dudes bought a car for the summer and I drove,

    Into USA through Seattle, got searched
    Into mexico through Tecatae
    all over Baha for 2 months
    all the way down Baja to cabo san lucas and back

    got searched by mexican army check stops three times having to empty the car (we had 3 surfboards on the roof so stood out)
    back into USA through Tijuana, got searched again
    A month or so more driving around in usa

    we were eventually at grand canyon and we were hiking in to sleep over. so I emptying my backpack for the hike. Found a bag of weed I bought in whistler in the most accessible and obvious pocket on my backpack .seriously first place cops would look and we got full on searched at least 5 times

    we made a strict no travelling with weed rule as we were all big smokers at the time. when I found it I actually remembered buying it and putting in in there months before we left and just forgot about it

    . so got ribbed by the guys for being an idiot and potentially getting us in Mexican or USA jail ( this is 2000 so weed rules still pretty strict in USA )

    but good news we smoked some weed sitting in a freezing glacier fed river on a 48c dgreee day in the canyon


    and the post script it was a decent bag . more than we smoked in the canyon , so after the 4 hour hike out in 45c we smoked one and chucked the rest out rather than drive with it . wanted to give it away but no one was aorund we could trust
     
  6. bostjan

    bostjan MicroMetal Contributor

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    I wonder if he did something unseen, or what? :lol:

    That's totally believable. I was an instructor for a number of years and worked at three different community colleges over that period of time. I saw some very similar stuff, though.
     
  7. bostjan

    bostjan MicroMetal Contributor

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    That's really lucky! Maybe they were looking for harder stuff or weapons or something.
     
  8. VBCheeseGrater

    VBCheeseGrater not quite a shredder

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    In my late teens, was hanging out in our cars with friends behind 7-11 in kempsville doing our usual ruffian teen activities.

    We hear a loud "SCREEECH....BANG!!!" and run over to see what just happened. Sure enough, there is an accident. no big deal, we all just kinda hang around, seems like everyone is OK.

    So one of the female accident participants is running across the road to go to the gas station presumably and all of a sudden "BOOM!!!!!!" a car flying down this main road probably at 55mph (45mph zone) hits her dead on, and she goes FLYING through the air, lands i'm guessing 15-20 feet from impact. HOLY SMOKES!!! we all screamed.

    Immediate we all run to the gas station yelling "Call 911!!!!" (calling police = big no-no for us at time). We hung our for awhile - no idea if she lived or not, but i'd guess no. Pretty sure we gave some info to police and whatnot about car, but can't recall much of that....

    The image of that impact is burned into my skull forever though...poor girl.
     
  9. High Plains Drifter

    High Plains Drifter SS.org Regular

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    Most people on this forum radiate integrity and OP is no different so I'm inclined to believe. Crazy stuff for sure, man.

    Tbh I don't know where to even begin since my life has always been quite the colorfully-woven tapestry of cringe-worthy and bizarre events. Not sure that these are unbelievable but let's see...

    > Jumped into a car with a complete stranger when I was about 5 yrs old. He took me to a church. No issues but damn... I knew better.
    > Watched my grandfather drop dead in front of me when I was 11 yrs old in the shower at the Sheraton Health Club... sucked so bad/ great man.
    > In kindergarten pulled down my pants to display my new underwear to the class. It was show-n-tell so I had reasons.
    > Jumped off a sofa onto a fishing lure... managed to get the treble-hooks lodged up underneath my kneecap... prob 4-5 yrs old. Went into shock when mom tried to straighten my leg. She didn't know the hooks were in there... serious pain.
    > Had to visit a counselor after drawing my 3rd grade teacher naked. Assignment was to "Draw a picture of your favorite teacher". Didn't say anything about clothes/ no clothes.. maybe implied... dunno. Orange nipples and a purple ...... is never flattering I guess.
    > Almost beat to death the piece of .... that raped my sister ( 2 cars totaled that night). 17 yrs old.
    > Had sex with an ex-g/f on the floor in a convenience store... while the store was OPEN and the front doors were unlocked... maybe 20 yrs old. Only Chester Cheetah knows.
    > Got shot at by a drunk cab-driver... accusing me and my buddy of having his crack-whore g/f in my apartment. I knew her but she wasn't there.
    > Burned down my parents kitchen trying to make candles when I was maybe 6-7 yrs old.
    > Sailed my grandpa's Ford Pinto off an icy road and over a cliff... landing the car backwards in the river with a large tree limb inside next to me. Owner Of A Lonely Heart was playing on the radio as the car took on water. Almost drowned plus some nasty lacerations from all the flying debris. Sucked.
    > Was awoken by a shotgun barrel to the side of my temple after my buddy and I took refuge in a tobacco barn in West Virginia. Crazy night but no one was killed.
    > Left my car in neutral to warm up before class. Went inside the house to wait, looked out the window and it was gone... rolled down a massive hill into a ravine.. totaled.
    > According to wildlife management, I was likely stalked by a large female mountain-lion at Grapevine Hills in Big Bend NP during an early morning hike. Long story but the mtn-lion was supposedly sick and preying on hikers in that area. Backtracking... we found prints that weren't present when I started the hike. Led them to evaluate that she had likely stalked me as I was coming back down from the cavernous hills.
    > Took my dad's riding mower over a cliff ( maybe 10 ft)... tractor landing upside down in a dry creek-bed. I was thrown clear but landed only a couple feet ( inches?) from some seriously nasty rocks... lucky day.
    > Had to backtrack for about 3 hours during a road trip after accidentally leaving "herbs" and my driver's license in a container by the side of the highway in southern Ohio.
    > Received a BJ from a girl coming home from the airport... with my mom in the back-seat... mom trying to maintain a conversation with me the whole time. Crazy chick. Mom said later that she knew something was going on... very embarrassing to say the least.
    > Got jerked off in the back of a church van by a girl while other church members were supposedly asleep. That was in Farmington NM when I was maybe 12?.
    > Was attacked by what I believe were killer bees in a ghost-town along the Mexico border. Relentless and brutal attack and I was no where close to the actual hive. Maybe a dozen stings by the time I was back in my Jeep... and they were still attacking the Jeep as I was leaving...insane.
    > Planted a large sewing needle in the carpet of my parents house when I was maybe 4?. I was mad at my parents for something. Later that night, I had completely forgotten about it... running off to bed and "%$#@%!!!"... ran that needle straight through the bottom of my big toe and out through the top! Toddler karma's a b!tch.


    Actually had to remove a few of the more unsettling stories. I'm happy to elaborate on any of these and no prob if anyone would like to read anything additional... plenty more.
     
  10. marcwormjim

    marcwormjim SS.org Regular

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    Is that the part we're not supposed to believe?
     
  11. bostjan

    bostjan MicroMetal Contributor

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    The biggest thing I got out of that was to never ever leave fishing lures in the living room. :lol: That really sounds painful.

    Those are some really crazy stories, though. Sounds like we're really lucky to still have you with us.

    The only times I've ever looked up the business end of a gun, luckily, the person on the other end only wanted to scare me, and had no intention of shooting (once was a cop, once was a girl's dad). The only time I was loosely shot at was an old half blind man I knew taking a shot at a robber and I happened to be vaguely in between. Those three experiences all scared the living daylights out of me, though, nonetheless.

    As far as car accidents, I've avoided more than a few that could have been bad, but nothing else too weird.

    But one time, I was stopped at a traffic light, in a section of town that was mostly retired people, and this Mercury pulled up next to me. I glanced over and saw an old man in the passenger seat, an old woman driving, and a blow up doll in the back seat. I though "oh, old people and a blow up doll" and looked forward, then looked back to my left, as what I just saw sunk in. I was distracted, the light turned green, and the old lady peeled out. She must have been 88 if she was a day. I really wish I had had a camera.

    When I lived in Indianapolis, I saw a woman with no helmet on a sports bike on the highway, going 60-65 mph, clipping her toenails with her foot up over the bars.

    I also once saw a dude in a gorilla suit just walking along the side of a highway, about 12-15 miles from the edge of the city, at around 2:30 AM. I thought to stop and offer a ride, but I opted to not get stabbed or raped instead that night.
     
  12. ferret

    ferret Not worthy

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    Not sure I really have any crazy stories, but two oddities I can think of...

    Many many years ago, we had a Toyota Previa. It had a giant dent right in the center of the front, because we had hit an owl.

    Also, I've had my camp raided by a black bear while backpacking before. Broad daylight, we had just stopped and set everything down. He took our bread.
     
  13. High Plains Drifter

    High Plains Drifter SS.org Regular

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    lol. Not to get too off topic... It's unreal the amount of knowledge and experience you guys have when it comes to bands, instruments... essentially all things relating to music. But I'm also blown away by the amount of lucid and relevant discussions as they relate to so many other things... politics, religion, health, economics, social topics, etc, etc. So many forums are plagued with misinformation and an overall sense of ignorance... but not this place. I'm honestly humbled by the amount of honesty, integrity, and diversity that exists within the confines of this community.

    I don't think that I'll ever forget the amount of pain that surged through my little body that day.. especially when she tried to bend my knee back into place. I'm not sure exactly why but I remember also, that they had to actually strap me down onto the gurney. Maybe I was freaking out? idk.

    Man... guns are seriously sobering devices when staring down the bangy end. I've been shot at at least once that I can immediately recall and had at least 3 incidents of firearms pointed point blank at my face/ chest. Absolutely the most terrifying was that night in that tobacco barn though. Middle of nowhere and that calm, towering, silhouetted figure was NOT playing any games of intimidation. His very succinct and unwavering intention was that my buddy and I leave or that we die. Either way... he was as serious as could be and genuinely appeared to not be too concerned with which route we decided to go.
     
  14. ferret

    ferret Not worthy

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    Ouch, High Plains Drifter you reminded me of another. Young, not sure, but maybe 6-8. Jumped on couch like you, but it was a sewing needle. Mom pulled it out of my knee using her teeth.
     
  15. High Plains Drifter

    High Plains Drifter SS.org Regular

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    Holy %#@!! That was bad enough even before I got to "... using her teeth". Man... Your mom had some serious survival instincts!
     
  16. myrtorp

    myrtorp Jiggywiggy

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    When I was maybe 10 or 11 my family went on a trip to Belize for 2 weeks. Some pretty fun things happened.

    My father had got me interested in nature and especially insects, so naturally him and me were to hunt for cool bugs to take with us home. We found one common type of tarantula and scorpions. We had tupperware boxes that we kept them in. One time I was under this small shed (that stood on small legs) crawling around and looking under a sheet of metal. There I found a few spiders so I shouted to my father to hand me the boxes, all while we were waiting for the local taxi van called "No Stress Express"

    I believe my mother was pretty worried id get bit or stung.

    One day we took a trip to these awesome small palm tree islands where i tried to grab a giant centipede. Luckily it got away. 2 of the guides were to stay while we went to another island close by. They said they would swim over to ours later to catch the boats home. Guess they wanted some privacy hehe!

    When we were at the airport on the way home US customs selected our bags for extra inspection and my father started sweating since we were smuggeling 5-6 tarantulas and as many scorpions in tuppwerware.
    Luckily they didnt find our new pets! This was before 9/11 and I think security wasnt as tight.
    A few spiders died on the way home but most survived and lived on for like 3 years. The scorpions even had offspring. We kept them in the laundry room, and one day I found dozens of small scorpions crawling around on the floor of the entire laundry room. They had crawled out of the small slits in their terrarium.
    My father got stung once when watering a plant one was hiding in. Luckily we didnt catch any deadly critters and he was ok!

    Now usually we only take seeds with us home. My father loves growing interesting plants.


    The knee and needle story reminds me of, when I was about 10 too, I got a pretty big splinter under the skin of my right foot. I cried for a long time and my father wanted to cut it out with a scalpel, But I refused and eventually decided to do it myself. The splinter was too jammed in to pull out and i managed to cut the most strained skin that you cant feel anything in, and got it out after a few awfull minutes.
    I was pretty happy afterwards though to have it out!
     
  17. KnightBrolaire

    KnightBrolaire tinkerer/aspiring builder/8 string hoarder

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    I've got a couple stories.
    -I got drunk one night, forgot where I parked it, reported it stolen to the cops in Madison, found it a few days later and called them to tell them I'd found it. 6 months later I was driving back to my house, had one cop whip a u-turn and start following 2 cars behind me, with another whipping a u-turn at the next block. As I neared the turn lane to my neighborhood 4 big black suburbans came barreling down the other side of the street to box me into the turn lane. I had 8 cops pointing pistols and shotguns at me while I got out of the car, got cuffed and thrown in the back of a cruiser. They were perplexed by the fact that I had the car registered in my name, had a driver's license to match it and thought that I stole my own car and faked the documents to hide the fact that I stole it. I ended up having to sit in a squad car for an hour while they called up the cops in madison to confirm everything. Basically I got arrested for stealing my own car
    -I got impaled in the shin by a nail board when I was 8. My cousin and I were hunting frogs in his backyard and we went near my uncle's scrap wood pile to find some. My cousin lifted one end of a board and the other end smacked me in the shin, causing the nail to penetrate my shin about 2" deep. It hurt more pulling it out than it did going in.
    -I fell out of a 30 foot tree, managed to hit every branch on the way down and only got a couple bruises when I was 10.
    -I was painting my dad's windows on the 2nd story of his house one summer and the ladder started to fall backwards with me on it. Somehow it rotated 180 degrees with me hanging on and fell to the ground. I was somehow unscathed.
    -I've done 2 accidental frontflips while skiing in colorado. Both times I hit a mogul while leaning too far forward, ended up flipping through the air, landing it, and kept skiing.
    -I once broke a kid's jaw in a tae kwon do match with a spinning hook kick.
    -I've given myself an iv line in each limb at the same time while in medic training.
    -I've almost drowned 3 times. Once in Hanauma bay (there's a huge drop off at the edge of the reef where I accidentally went off while following some rainbow fish), twice in Mexico (got pulled under by a current while swimming next to an island, got pulled under while swimming in a nature preserve next to some giant barracuda and stingrays).
    -I've slept in a garbage bag in the middle of winter (not by choice).
     
  18. bostjan

    bostjan MicroMetal Contributor

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    I read that story and, as entertaining as it was, my first thought was to never go to Belize because they have something called giant centipedes there. :lol:
     
  19. russmuller

    russmuller Cramblin' Contributor

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    Been reading some of the posts in here and I've gotta say.... I'm going to be VERY reluctant to ever let High Plains Drifter borrow my car. XD
     
  20. High Plains Drifter

    High Plains Drifter SS.org Regular

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    lol ^^^. Something tells me that you've got some unbelievable stories as well.

    I'm glad that into my 20's, I became much more aware of things like responsibility, mortality, and accountability. In fact, I haven't had a single ticket nor accident in probably 20+ years. Complete immaturity and embarrassing instability throughout my teens led to so many led to so many of these incidents.
     

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