Then let's put in a nice little anecdote. I played with a local band a few weeks ago, V is for Villains. I found out about them a couple months before that, and decided to learn their music on bass. I ended up learning their whole debut album, and posting covers on facebook. The band saw them, and offered to let me join them onstage for a show, so I picked one of the big local anime conventions, Anime Midwest. And here's the thing - like I've mentioned already, I'm a trans woman. The thing is, I'm not completely out to everybody. But I used this as an opportunity to bring things out, just a little more. See, the thing with V is for Villains is that everybody in the band has a persona, and a really damn cool costume to go with it, so of course I needed one, too. And so I came up with Madam Duskheart, and went full femme. Lipstick, high-heeled boots, skirt, fake boobs, the lot. And it went over amazing. When I explained the full situation to the band, they immediately asked which name I preferred to use, what pronouns I wanted, and the singer was even like "Oh and I use "dude" and "man" and stuff like that all the time, completely gender neutral, but if that's an issue just tell me" And then when it came to actually being onstage, I don't think anybody even realized I wasn't a cis woman - and I was up there with two other cis women, so I'm proud of that. My friend Lauren, who was there, and who I'm okay with using my birthname, told me about something that happened during the show. See, my involvement was never announced by the band. We kept it a complete surprise, to everybody by my friends. So needless to say there were people wondering just who the .... I was. One person asked that out loud, and Lauren, just reflexively, since she's known me more as Ben than Lily, was like "Oh that's Ben." And the person just turned around and was like "What? No, that's a girl..." And tbh, it was that tiny little moment that made an awesome night even better.