Tablature Critiquing Thread

Discussion in 'Music Theory, Lessons & Techniques' started by kylendm, Jan 6, 2013.

  1. kylendm

    kylendm Electrical Mercenary

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    I don't see one of these around and I personally think we should have a songwriting subforum again but this might work too. Basically post tabs you have been writing in guitar pro or similar program and we can critique it. Posting midi files would work too. Posting the actual file though helps with possibly making a suggestion such as adding a note here or "doing this' there. It's much easier showing and listening to what you are talking about than explaining it through words sometimes.

    Just put the tab file is a zip and upload it as an attachment. Hopefully this can take off and maybe we could sticky something like this in the future.

    If there is already a thread for this, ma bad.

    I'll go first, this is a song i have almost done recorded and it's in the recording sub forum but I added a bit more too it. Any thoughts would be appreciated!
     

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  2. kylendm

    kylendm Electrical Mercenary

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    Is anyone into this?
     
  3. Pooluke41

    Pooluke41 H. Maddas

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    I think that going straight into a breakdown kinda ruins the flow, I'd do a bit more before going into the breakdown.
     
  4. Winspear

    Winspear Tom Winspear Vendor

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    Yeah I dig a thread like this :)
    Personally I didn't hear a breakdown at the beginning. I heard an intro, a verse riff, a break, and then the verse riff presumably with vocals coming in.

    I think that's some pretty solid songwriting! The riffs are good, the song is flowing, and the structure is clear. Nice level of detail in all instruments.
     
  5. kylendm

    kylendm Electrical Mercenary

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    Thanks guys! Almost finished the full recording too, just gotta finish the vocal editing. But yeah the part after the intro is a verse not so much a breakdown. The only real breakdown is after the chorusy part.

    Post your songs guys and I'll crit yours for sure!
     
  6. Pooluke41

    Pooluke41 H. Maddas

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    I dunno, it kinda sounds like one to me. After imagining it with vocals, I can kinda see what you mean. :D

    But personally, I would have a bit in between the Intro and the Verse.

    Still, fucking great writing!
     
  7. kylendm

    kylendm Electrical Mercenary

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    Thanks man! Do you guys think the part at bar 50 works?
     
  8. Pooluke41

    Pooluke41 H. Maddas

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    I'd just go straight into the next bit.
     
  9. kylendm

    kylendm Electrical Mercenary

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    Yeah I think it still needed some kind of transition though. Anyway, I hope we could get some more input in this thread. I'd like to hear others pieces.
     
  10. kylendm

    kylendm Electrical Mercenary

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  11. JEngelking

    JEngelking Gravity is Shifting!

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    Wanted and was ready to contribute something, but then realized I only have Tuxguitar, and it can only import GP files, not export tabs as GP files. :wallbash:


    Edit: LOLJK yeah it can, figured out a way. Will add some drums and post soon.
     
  12. nikolazjalic

    nikolazjalic SS.org Regular

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    Hopefully this takes off, this is a good thread idea! :)

    The transition back into Riff 1 sounds more full if you keep the guitar 3 lead still playing up until bar 20 and cut it off at 21. Also, I think the bar 50 riff sounds better without the lead until the drums kick in at bar 54.

    Awesome writing though man, sounds heavy as fuck!

    Here's mine:
    newnewnew.gp5
     
  13. JEngelking

    JEngelking Gravity is Shifting!

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    nikolazjalic and kylendm, your guys' songs were sick. :hbang:

    I just started actually writing stuff out with tabs and Guitar Pro the other day and this is what I've been working on lately. Obviously this isn't a finished work, but it's what I've got so far for sure. The whole super layered chorus part will probably sound less muddy when I get to properly recording it.

    Ibishnarik.gp5
     
  14. Acreator

    Acreator SS.org Regular

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    Hey kylendm,

    Nice work. Cool riffs, nice flow between sections. Nice textural layering with Gtr. 3 and its coupled delay track.

    There are two musical parameters that you might consider addressing in this and future compositions: tonal centre and pacing. In particular, injecting variety (contrast) in this two parameters would really strengthen the music.

    Tonality (harmony): This entire piece is very firmly rooted on G as a tonal centre. It starts there and never leaves. It doesn't matter what tone collections you use (i.e. scales), whether it's G Phrygian-dominant or G Aeolian or G whatever, we always feel G as the gravitational centre of the piece and this makes the listener zone out after a while. You bring in a little variety at m. 50 by at least giving us an inversion of the tonic chord (G with B in the bass), and hints at the VI chord (Eb), but even here the G tonic still dominates the sound.
    Suggestion: try modulating to related (or even distant) tonal centres at certain points in the piece. The second verse/chorus cycle and any bridge or interlude-type section would be likely suspects.

    Pacing: Mid-tempo half-time groove all the way through. Yes, this feels great. But the whole time? A quick scan of your drum part will show what I mean: almost every single measure has kick on beat 1 and snare attack on beat 3. Where's the contrast! Vary the groove: double the pace, halve it, whatever.
    It would also help if you occasionally masked a strong beat; pulling the ground from under the texture is a great way to introduce surprise, rekindling the listener's interest. Making a drum or guitar pattern cross over the barline once in a while would make the music feel less blocky. That's a hallmark of progressive metal, take advantage of it!

    Hope this helps. Back to composing for me.
     
  15. Yo_Wattup

    Yo_Wattup Kick the Butterfly

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    Meh, sure why not.

    Not finished. I am "Dudlol" lol.
     

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  16. kylendm

    kylendm Electrical Mercenary

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    Sorry guys I've been busy. I'll read the comments tonight and give crits! Awesome that people are starting to contribute. Here's Silence recorded just because too. ;) https://soundcloud.com/kylendm/silence/s-L76OE

    EDIT: I gave a quick listen to all the pieces posted and I'm really digging all of them so I need to give a proper crit for all you guys later!
     
  17. JEngelking

    JEngelking Gravity is Shifting!

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    ^ That sounds awesome man!
     
  18. kylendm

    kylendm Electrical Mercenary

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    Thanks for the crits so far guys. Especially Acreator damn man that was really in depth and I took note of it all because I totally agree. My drum writing isn't the best. Usually when I finish a song I show my band and we work out parts to be a bit more interesting ect. but yeah I see what you mean by giving the song a bit more variety. I think I'm going to stick to how this one is but I'll definitely keep it in mind.

    So here I go, I'll crit as I go along.

    @Niko
    The intro is cool and I see what you are going for. It's pretty sick and kinda similar to my song.
    -Boom was pretty cool I like the main riff. The background guitar is pretty cool too. The only problem I have with it is whenever I hear this scale used what the background guitar is playing is pretty similar to something else I've heard before again and again. Still it's definitely effective in this song. Also maybe giving the drums a triplet feel every now and then might help keep things sounding fresh.

    -Bounce I really liked this part a lot. At first I thought the 2/4 was a little out of place but after a few listens it flowed. I actually have another song in the works that has a riff with similar kind of feel.

    -Yee I liked a lot too. Not much else to say really.

    -ABR Type riff I didn't really get into. I think something other than the triplet chugs would have worked better. Even if it were to have triplets sometimes and maybe another pattern another. And I kind of feel the same way about the breakdown. It just didn't hit me like the other riffs did.

    Still all in all this was a sick song and you have some great ideas especially that groove riff.

    @Jengle
    I like the intro. The only part I have a problem with is bar 8. Instead of ending the three note riff on B ending it on A# the second time would be pretty cool and keep it within the scale.

    -Bar 9-16 I liked the note choices but I really liked the chords at the end. Nice choices!

    -Bar 25-26 I didn't really enjoy personally. Especially that transition thing. It didn't really flow too well but something else might have worked better or maybe just getting rid of 25-26 all together.

    The rest of the song is pretty cool. Maybe just a little bit too much going on but I see what you are going for with a huge ballad-esque kind of ending. There were come cool chord choices here too. :)

    @Yo
    I'm gonna have to get to yours tomorrow since it's getting a bit late here.

    Also Jengle thanks man! And keep posting guys. I'm liking this thread a lot actually. Subscribe to it!
     
  19. JEngelking

    JEngelking Gravity is Shifting!

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    Thanks for the feedback dude! I actually kinda enjoyed the accidental in bar 8 :shrug: I did just try changing in to an A# and I think either way works. I'll just cross that road when I come to it haha.

    And I think after I record it the transition will work better. Although who knows, maybe I will find something better to put there. :D
     
  20. kylendm

    kylendm Electrical Mercenary

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    Yeah I don't know, it might have just been me. I'm just sharing my thoughts haha. I totally agree with recordings making things sound a lot different in the end so if you think it works roll with it man you have some cool ideas!

    @Yo
    I liked the intro. It had kinda a KSE vibe at first until the drums came in. The transition from 11-12 worked prefect really and the cleans worked into bar 21 fine too. 21-36 was cool. The only thing I have to say about it was that particular transition at the end works but I think if you rang out that C chord at the end that you play with his F it actually kinda works and adds a little more suspense.

    37-40 sounded off to me at first but I can see how this would work with real instruments. Guitar pro makes the cymbals sound odd when they are al[SIZE=2]l play[SIZE=2]ed [SIZE=2]together. 4[SIZE=2]1-44 is cool.[SIZE=2] 45-52 I li[SIZE=2]ked but I think if the guitar playing the leads played something a little different. I a[SIZE=2]ttached your song with just an idea of a suggestion.

    [SIZE=2]53[SIZE=2]-56 worked. Decent transition. T[SIZE=2]he riff a[SIZE=2]fter was [SIZE=2]cool. [SIZE=2]It could be a [SIZE=2]little more interesting [SIZE=2]but I think vocals would[SIZE=2] [SIZE=2]help[SIZE=2] [SIZE=2]it.

    [SIZE=2]I didn[SIZE=2]'t [SIZE=2]except[/SIZE] the part with the seven string haha. I liked it, it had a [SIZE=2]cool groove [SIZE=2]to it. Definitely keep that part. Another thing I gotta say is I heard chugs earlier and[SIZE=2] I think it's cool you didn't use the se[SIZE=2]ven [SIZE=2]for t[SIZE=2]he chugs where as I know anyone incorporating a seven and a six toget[SIZE=2]her in a [SIZE=2]band would probably lean to doing that. [SIZE=2]So :yesway:[SIZE=2].

    [SIZE=2]C[SIZE=2]lean part w[SIZE=2]as cool. Not much to say[SIZE=2]. Same [SIZE=2]thing with the 5/4 ov[SIZE=2]er 4/4 riff. It was[SIZE=2] alright at first but I think [SIZE=2]when the actual chugs came in it was a lot more powerful[SIZE=2]. I can hear [SIZE=2]it working when it's recorded though.

    [SIZE=2]Endi[SIZE=2]ng the song wit[SIZE=2]h the intro riff was a nice touch because that riff [SIZE=2][SIZE=2]interesting. S[SIZE=2]o awesome man. I actually r[SIZE=2]eally liked i[SIZE=2]t![/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE]
     

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