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Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by SevenStringSam, Jun 17, 2010.
Shes not really a skirt kind of person but damn that would be nice
Embrace the pain, get all the feelings out as they come because bottling and denying makes them fester and much worse, and then you'll one day just move past it.
Go out and embrace the single-ness. Do all the things you couldn't do because you had a partner who held you back. Go to shows and movies and things on your own with the confidence that you can enjoy them on your own terms. Start a hobby or a project that you wouldn't have time for if you had a partner to think about. Get out and explore the parts of your home town you've never seen before- find some coffee shops or bars or places with cool themes, or stores that you've thought "I should go in there some day", or something and meet some new people- and I don't mean go pick up women, I mean just go be social and talk to people and enjoy socializing without any pressure or expectations. Give yourself a goal- maybe fitness, or a career goal, or a knowledge goal, or something, that you can throw yourself into- both to get your mind off of what's getting you down, but also because those are good things to do anyway. Make your life about you, instead of about the people you surround yourself with. Acknowledge that the reasons your relationship broke down were petty and juvenile (I re-read your original post- they really were), and embrace the fact that you don't need that nonsense in your life. Go talk to all the women you want to, add them all to facebook if you want, because you are your own person and are free to do as you please.
How do you get over a breakup? Whatever way you want to, because now there's nobody to tell you otherwise.
Oops, I missed that somehow the first time around. Sorry. Yeah, my ancestors were from Slovenia. Your outcome sounds pretty responsible, and hopefully positive.
Distraction and time. Some wounds heal slow. Just remember that the pain will pass.
the one and only time I took a break up hard I tried embracing single life and got myself in a right mess.
TBH it was so easy. Once you update your FB status to "single" i had about 5 different girls PM me within 30 mins of booting the ex out my house. Felt good and was toooooo tempting.
Slept around, had an HIV scare, met some crazy crazy women and got involved with some utter dickhead people.
Glad it only lasted a few months at best. The ex was a complete nightmare who cheated on me with my then bands vocalist so everything crashed down on me at once. I didnt even have music as an escape because the band imploded after that.
She was amazing in bed though. Seriously dirty. Once I taught her some stuff It opened pandora's box. Best lay ever.
But then cheating whores tend to be so hardly surprising.
At least she wasn't one of those lemon-stealing whores.
So technically you might be the cause for her cheating. I mean, once you opened Pandora's box and all...
I beat myself up about that question for the longest time........until I found out she had cheated on previous partners before me.
But yeah, she was pretty ignorant until I showed her what her own body could do haha. Her exes must have been complete fools lol.
Thank you so much for all the replies, i really appreciate it. It has been a tough time since that day, i will start going to a psychologist because of my anxiety problems.
I don't know if what i'm doing is the right thing but both had a good friend where we worked, and i wanted to ask to him if he talked to her or just ask something about her. Is asking that a bad idea?
Maybe, maybe not. Personally, I wouldn't do it. You're poking at something that's just going to hurt you some more. That's the opposite of moving on.
Weird to hear how vastly different people's experiences are. I've been single for what must be 4 years-ish by now, and when I "announced" the fact, I heard nothing. Granted, I've never been much to look at, and maybe I'm a bit weird, so I wasn't expecting much.
I dunno if it's kinda sad, but I used to get zero attention from women when I was heavier. I lost a whole ton of weight and now that I'm starting to cross that line into "being attractive on some level", I notice that people in general look at me very differently. Like if I happen to make eye contact with a cashier or random lady in public or what have you, I might get a smile or something from them, where before they'd just awkwardly look away. I'm not a different person, I'm just in a shape that's a bit easier on the eyes. I think it's telling of how people judge others. And I'm still not used to it- if someone compliments me, I used to know for sure that it was just out of politeness, but now I'm not sure. I still carry that sort of weird I-don't-think-of-myself-as-attractive attitude with me.
Oh well. Just thinking out loud because why not.
This. I've been single 3-4 years, and didn't get jack shit for offers when I "announced" I was single. Then again, I am ugly and weird, so whatever. Don't really miss the stress, pressure, and worrying about whether or not the other person is cheating or not. I'm also not missing worrying about catching something, and no, condoms are not "safe sex."
For the record, when I said "embrace the single life", I didn't mean go wild and party and sleep around.
I meant to say it's a great opportunity to redefine yourself around independence. I took the opportunity to do things like record a CD, I went on a tour, I've done some traveling around the country, I vastly improved my health, started some new projects, etc. I've brought myself to a point where I can by happy as a single person, because I've centered my life around my own wants and needs, and my own growth as a person, instead of centering my life around the ideal of being back in a relationship again.
sounds like you 2 need a good wing man haha. Being single has its massive pros though lads. No nagging, compromising, not having arguments, not losing every argument whether right or wrong, having whichever gear you want.
The list goes on and on.
Confidence defo helps with women and surprisingly so does being a bit a a dick. When I went off the rails I unfairly, subconsciously, viewed all women as bad and potential cheaters as a response to being cheated on. I didnt even realise I had done that until I got over it. And that treat em mean keep em keen thing actually works.
Rregards to the FB thing. Yeah at first it angered me a little that some girls would see a dude announce how tough the breakup was and be instantly messaging them with all comforts and sympathies. I.e They want to swoop now you are single. I thought to myself at first "wow thats quite low of them". Then looked at the positives and having attention is always nice so I rolled with it.
I was Weird then.
Yeah, I'm certainly not missing all that many aspects of dating.
If you say so. I have a problem relating to them more than anything. A lot of them are incredibly vapid, vain, and not all that interesting.
Fuck em. Literally. As Gene used to say, "Love em, leave em... love em, leave em, yeah."
I was just having a little fun at your expense.
Update: Went out with the girl in my theory class, we went for a hike, grabbed dinner, went back to my place, went canoeing, and than watched Rick and Morty (which she had never seen before!), than cuddled while watching the movie John Dies at the End. It was a great date! Dropped her off, she gave me a kiss at the door, and we have plans to hang today.
The order of events makes "canoeing" sound dirty.