SS Love and Relationships Thread

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by SevenStringSam, Jun 17, 2010.

  1. youngthrasher9

    youngthrasher9 SS.org Regular

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    Oh and while I'm here I'll just mention that pizza girl and I started hanging out a bit after that. Come to find out, she started seeing another dude in between the cemetery thing and now, but she thought it was A-OK to lead me to believe that we were gonna start going out, and she was on the market. Luckily our personalities weren't jivving by the time I found out.
     
  2. cwhitey2

    cwhitey2 BlackendCrust Metalâ„¢

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    I literally can't get a single girl to go on a date with me :-/

    I feel like I'm fairly attractive, I'm sometimes socially awkward (social anxiety), I'm decent human being for the most part.

    I just feel like I'm missing something or I'm blind to something and it's extremely frustrating.
     
    Last edited: May 28, 2017
  3. auxioluck

    auxioluck Metal Teddy Bear

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    Ignoring the fact that I am in complete awe that this thread is still going (I remember when it was first posted), I proposed to my gf of almost 7 years earlier this week and she said yes. :hbang:

    I'm happy about it. And trust me, for everyone else on here having relationship issues...if a guy like me can find the right chick (who also happens to be a hottie), then you can too. Have faith, my peeps!
     
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  4. russmuller

    russmuller Cramblin' Contributor

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    CONGRATULATIONS!!!! That's wonderful news!
     
  5. kamello

    kamello DESU METARU!

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    but, what's the main issue here? you haven't met girls, get rejected when asking someone out, or something else?




    and; long time since I posted here. After a really bad relationship with a pretty unstable person, I decided to just have some fun and meet new people, even got Tinder going :lol: but nothing serious got out of that and decided to stop ''chasing'' the idea of a relationship

    Now, many months later, I moved onto another city, fixed (or Im in the process of fixing-) a lot of the shit that was taking tolls on me, and in the met some really good people, and alongside that, a girl caught my attention. We spoke for a few days and then she asked me for help in a course where she was struggling a bit, we got together, we studied for a few hours and then just had fun chatting until things took another course and we ended up making out :lol:

    Things seems to be good, we speak a lot almost every day, seems a lot more emotionally stable compared to all the people I've have been involved, and she already made it clear that she wants exclusivity meanwhile we get to know each other better. So yeah, everything is great, but ffs I forgot how anxious this stage *previous* to a consolidated relationship made me feel, it feels like I need a constant reassuranse of some way to feel that Im not fucking everything up
     
  6. TedEH

    TedEH Cromulent

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    I always seem to have exactly the opposite thing happen, where I'll meet people in the very clear context of a date, only to later on have the story change to "I don't see you and I like that...." and I have no idea why that keeps happening. :lol: But also a bit :(
     
  7. cwhitey2

    cwhitey2 BlackendCrust Metalâ„¢

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    Either rejected or they don't even seem nearly interested enough in me to ask out :lol:
     
  8. Seybsnilksz

    Seybsnilksz SS.org Regular

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    Since last time I wrote in this thread a girl found me on OKCupid in may last year, we chatted the whole summer, I got anxiety because I didn't feel the butterflies, but we met in august, have visited each other almost every weekend, and eventually I learned (through discussing it with her) that there's nothing wrong just because I don't feel the same butterflies as I had being in "love" when I was 10. We have all the respect honesty, and good stuff that we both want out of a relationship. And her smile and laugh makes me so happy ^^
     
  9. BucketheadRules

    BucketheadRules Fuzz pedal hoarder

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    Man, I've been away a good few months and not checked in here.

    I now have a really great girlfriend and on Saturday, we'll have been together six months. Longest I've ever been with anyone :lol:
     
  10. youngthrasher9

    youngthrasher9 SS.org Regular

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    I honestly shouldn't be allowed to be around women with baggage. My hero complex cripples my mental faculties and I end up falling too hard too fast. If I wasn't what I would describe as mildly empathic, I probably wouldn't have the same issues. I can just sense when someone is messed up and I get drawn to them to nurture, usually to find out they can't be helped by me.

    I met this girl literally yesterday. We have a mutual friend, and they showed up together at a party that myself and the mutual friends' husband were throwing. She was immediately interested in me, and I thought she was cute. Many drinks later, everyone ends up at our friends house and she drops hints until I finally spooned with her. I'm teddy bear on the inside- I've never spooned before, and it was intoxicating. Some things just feel right, ya know? Well come to find out, she's got some baggage- she got pregnant when she was younger, got into a shotgun engagement, and the deadbeat cheated on her while she was carrying his child. She ended up having a really late miscarriage, it wasn't pretty I guess. I want to say that I'm attracted to her for her, but my mind is telling me that I'm being drawn to her brokenness.
     
  11. BucketheadRules

    BucketheadRules Fuzz pedal hoarder

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    Nah man, I think you're actually attracted to her - you were, before all this stuff came out, and if you still are then I assume it's actual attraction to her as a person, rather than some white knight complex thing. Whether or not you're more attracted to her following those revelations is another thing... in any case, you haven't said whether or not this is something she actually carries around as "baggage", or just something that happened a long time ago, which she's managed to move past. It could easily be the latter - not everyone who goes through messed up sh*t like that lets it get the better of them for years on end. I'd say this could be worth pursuing.

    Don't look at her as someone you have to nurture - look at her as someone you just want to spend time with and see what happens. Certainly don't pursue things because she's someone you have to nurture. If it turns out that she really does need a little extra emotional support, then obviously that's something you need to provide, but treating that as something you actively want to provide from the off is an unhealthy way of looking at things, IMO.
     
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  12. TedEH

    TedEH Cromulent

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    I almost sort of disagree. If you can identify that taking care of someone is part of what makes you tick in a relationship, and you can make that work for you, then maybe it's good to just embrace that idea and run with it rather than denying your emotional motivations. It's only a problem if you think it's a problem. A big part of establishing a connection with someone is opening up like she has by telling you things, and being supportive, which is what you're doing.
     
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  13. youngthrasher9

    youngthrasher9 SS.org Regular

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    I appreciate both points of view.

    That said, some new stuff happened. She turned out to be more than damaged. Like sociapath level shit happened, making me and her an impossibility. I can't really go into it.
     
  14. cult

    cult SS.org Regular

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    So, I don't have a GF anymore after 4,5 years, been living together for 3,5 years...
    I have a fiancee now :D And it went as smooth as possible.
     
  15. High Plains Drifter

    High Plains Drifter SS.org Regular

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    @ cult- Congratulations to you both!
     
  16. cult

    cult SS.org Regular

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    Thank you very much!
    I thought it was about time, gotta keep the good things good and the great things great.
     
  17. youngthrasher9

    youngthrasher9 SS.org Regular

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    Rejoined tinder. Ended up matching with a girl who is totally my type. We've been talking for a few days, got her digits yesterday, and I think I'm going to ask her out later today, maybe tomorrow. She seems really sweet and we've been getting along swimmingly. Apparently we almost knew each other IRL before either of us joined tinder- I helped butcher her dads pigs when I worked at the last butcher shop. I have a good feeling about this girl, there's something more pure about her than the feelings I've had about girls that I've been running into as of late.
     
  18. TedEH

    TedEH Cromulent

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    I've always had super mixed feelings about online dating and things like Tinder, not because I think they're "wrong" by any stretch, but because it sort of breaks down the process of meeting people into something not quite grounded. As a vehicle to meeting people in real life, sure it serves it's purpose, more or less. But in terms of anyone trying to form any sort of valid evaluation of others with basically just a picture or two and a couple of vague sentences, there's no way to really tell who you're talking to. I mean, I think I've got lots to contribute to a healthy relationship, but how exactly are you supposed to get that across? I'm particularly terrible at selling myself in that way, as I think many people are, which means I'm very likely bypassing people I'd actually like in person, and likewise reaching out to people I'd probably want nothing to do with in reality. The end result is that you just don't meet anyone. Or the people you do meet don't lead to anything. But that's just how it works now, I guess. The alternative is.... nothing? Going to bars? Just doing your own thing and hoping you'll naturally run into someone following a similar life path? What if your regular activities don't involve going to places where there are people?

    I guess the end result is that if you're not someone whose lifestyle puts you in the path of very many other single people to meet, you basically have apps, or just resolve to not bother. Something about that kinda makes me sad.
     
  19. youngthrasher9

    youngthrasher9 SS.org Regular

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    The description you mentioned at the end describes my situation well- I'm in no position socially to meet single people in real life often.
     
  20. boozeislove

    boozeislove SS.org Regular

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    If you like her call her right away.You will show her youre not in 9nth grade :D


    I would also like to maybe help others with my own experience with a girl i dated a year ago.We met randomly back in 2015 and immediately there were sparks between us,so we started hanging out.We noth knew what was coming tho.Aaaaand there were some red flags along the way
    1:She didnt get along with her family-this is always bad and especialy if they are just good people concerned about you.Also you cant build a new family if your old one is not working out BIG DEAL!
    2:she was basicaly living with her ex.I think this is self explanatory
    But even with this information my mind was a pink fog of love so i proceeded and got into relationship with her and at first everything was sunshine and rainbows-great convos lots of sex..etc i wanted to even give her a child,would do (and did) everything for her and we got engaged

    Long story short i went to another town to work for the summer so we could move in togheter and while gone she had gives and takes with other people,when confronted about it she started some manipulative games to convince me its my fault


    What i took out of this whole clusterf**k was:never do hurried decisions,dont fully trust your other head,and always wait for dire situations before you judge a person.Lastly-there are red flags in your head for a god d**n reason,you fool!

    So those are my :2c: on love and relationships

    Cheers!
     
    Last edited: Jul 8, 2017

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