SS Love and Relationships Thread

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by SevenStringSam, Jun 17, 2010.

  1. caskettheclown

    caskettheclown Sexytime!

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    Since this is a relationship thread.

    I'm in love with my best friend and have been for a few years now. I want to tell her but i'm afraid of sounding ...well i'm afraid of losing her as a friend

    She said she doesn't like having friends that have crushe's on her.
    To be honest its really had me down the past few months. Antidepressants haven't been working and I got addicted to pills and almost died from taking 30 pills. No joke. I've been clean a couple weeks now and she doesn't know about any of it.

    I am going to tell her but idk how to tell her.
    I don't want to just say "i'm in love with you" cause that would be to straight forward I think.
    Any ideas?
     
  2. flo

    flo SS.org Regular

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    Sounds really fucked up. I know this type of situation pretty well, a friend of mine went through the same.
    When she told him she wasn't interested in a relationship he got very depressed. Talked to friends, parents, psychologists and took pills, but couldn't get normal again until he stopped seing her at all (they've been studying at the same university).

    It's important to tell her. But do it the "right" way. If she says no, it's a no, and you should be prepared for that, your life will go on and you're gonna have to make somebody else happy ;) Your happiness doesn't depend on her.

    I think that I'd take her to a few romantic dates, and kind of prepare her for what you're going to say. It shouldn't be a surprise for her when you tell her your feelings. Make it clear what you're aiming at. My sister has had at least two friends who whished that they'd become a couple but behaved like normal friends and then told her after a long time (or even worse, their friends told her).
    No woman will fall in love with you cause you're sad if she woun't. They want to be fought for, dated, treated by a guy who knows what he wants and what he does. You'll manage, mate:cool:
     
  3. caskettheclown

    caskettheclown Sexytime!

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    well she is going to a different college than I am. Its around an 30-45 minutes away. She is already talking about looking forward to college guys and I don't think we would last long cause of it. The last relationship of hers was kind of like that and she hated that.
    OR
    She will reject me and things will become awkward and our friendship will fade and I don't want that.
    idk i'm just so scared to death man.

    i've been in relationships before but nothing even compares to what I feel for her.
    Death would be a nice escape but I can't stand the thought of hurting people...
     
  4. flo

    flo SS.org Regular

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    ...and who says that death is an escape? You can't know:nono:

    In all seriousness, I would see a good psychologist about it. I'm not saying you're ill, this is a thing that really many people go through. Have a poll about it in this forum... I say 30%. But really, get some help.
     
  5. CFB

    CFB SS.org Regular

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    One of these two things will happen if you decide to go after her and none of them leads to getting you better. What do you really want, a girlfriend or a stable and positive outlook on life?
    Make your main objective to get better. No woman will cure a depression.
     
  6. poopyalligator

    poopyalligator Dr.Poopyalligator

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    Chances are if he is really into theater kissing a girl probably isnt his favorite thing in the world. His parents are just waiting for that day to come where they have "the conversation" lol
     
    teqnick likes this.
  7. Konfyouzd

    Konfyouzd Dread-I Master Contributor

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    FUCK THAT BITCH!!!!!! :scream:
     
  8. JohnIce

    JohnIce Singlecoils = tr00

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    How old are you? I don't mean to be rude, I'm asking because if you're allowed to drink, and you're both in the same social circle, things could be done very easily ;)

    Here's my idea: Do NOT tell a girl you like her (or even worse, LOVE her), as a transition between friendship and a relationship. That ain't how it works. You know, love is supposed to be the reward for your hard work, it's what you look forward to and aim towards. It's better to say it too late than too early, for sure.

    Men are, by nature, impatient and straight-forward, and a little greedy. We want to take what we feel is ours, and we want it now. The thing is that women are generally pretty much the exact opposite... they want things to build up over time, and rushing things is a no-no (scratch that, it's a Hell NO!) in relations with women.

    You say you're friends with this girl. So let me ask you: does she talk to you about other guys? Does she ask you to go shopping with her? Do you hold her handbag when she goes to the ladies' room? If these are the types of things you do together, you're FAR from ready to have a relationship with her... because she treats you like a girlfriend, not as the mysterious stallion you want to be in her eyes.

    Women like to build up a mystique around guys. They like to fantisize, and get all giddy on the odd chance that they catch a glimpse of him somewhere. THIS is attraction. Being together every day and doing silly things is fun but it's a lousy way to create attraction. She won't fantisize about you if she knows everything about you already.

    What I'd do in your situation, is to chill for a while... hang out more with your guy friends, flirt with other random girls when she's around, keep your talks briefer than usual, and just try not to see her much at all. Make her wonder what the hell you are doing that is more important than being with her? Sooner or later she'll want to get back in touch with you, but keep at it! Maybe have a coffee with her sometime or something casual like that, but nothing more. Try to always leave a few days between each interaction with her.

    What all of this does is you're making her chase you. Not the other way around. She'll be the one wondering what you're up to, trying to contact you etc., and THAT is how you create attraction. Once you've broken down your friend relationship to a point where you're not as casual with each other, ask her if she wants to tag along with you and your mates to a party. When you're all having fun and thinking about other things, that's when you can take her aside and talk a bit further about things, keeping it light, a little cocky (no "I love you" cheese, think something more James Bond-like), and if you play all your cards right, you may finally end up more than friends.

    It's a long shot, man, but I'm rooting for you! Good luck! :metal:
     
  9. Antimatter

    Antimatter SS.org Regular

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    I know this girl likes me, and I want to hang out with her and get it going on but her parents are paranoid assholes and don't like her being around guys and stuff. I really want this to work, so what do I do?
     
  10. scottro202

    scottro202 I'm walkin' here!!!

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    From my experience with this, I think you have 2 options.

    1) Do what you would normally do, without her parents knowing somehow

    2) Try to win her parents over and show her you're not like other guys (Even though we all know you are :squint: ), and proceed forward

    1's real risky in that you could get caught and possibly get shot (You ARE in Georgia), number 2 because in addition to possibly getting shot by her dad with a double barrel shotgun, it may not work.
     
  11. Antimatter

    Antimatter SS.org Regular

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    I prefer option 2. I guess I'll just have to not mention that I listen to metal.:lol:
     
  12. Razorgrin

    Razorgrin SS.org Regular

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    D'aww. Congratulations! :3

    I miss being in love.
     
  13. scottro202

    scottro202 I'm walkin' here!!!

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    Yeah, especially if she's Christian :lol:
     
  14. Antimatter

    Antimatter SS.org Regular

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    Well she knows what music I listen to, she likes some of it. :hbang:

    But her parents are those crazy kinds of Catholics. :noway:
     
  15. JaxoBuzzo

    JaxoBuzzo ....ing river pirate

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    Im an 18 year old overweight,unemployed high school drop-out.how do you think my love and relationship status is?haha
     
  16. CFB

    CFB SS.org Regular

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    Antimatter, how old are you? If you're around 18 or older her parents shouldn't give a damn. Well, they shouldn't anyway but that's besides the point.


    ^It's all up to how you see yourself. If you go up to a girl thinking "Oh this is never gonna work, she's out of my leauge, I'm stupid, fat, old, ugly, poor and live in my moms basement" guess what? Those things shine through like hell. I know some guys that are both fat and not so good looking that can score with hot girls because they don't see themselves as fat and ugly.
     
  17. Razorgrin

    Razorgrin SS.org Regular

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    My drummer's an absolute troll (in fact, our troll-brother slogan is "Ugly dudes; that's how we roll!") but he scores some of the hottest girls imaginable because he's inhumanly confident. I wish some of that would rub off on me!
     
  18. soliloquy

    soliloquy SS.org Regular

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    arg...being brown and in a relationship sucks.

    i've been in a relationship with this girl for 2 and a half years. her family knows, my family knows, and its all good. the problem is, since she is brown, its common practice in the brown world to get girls married off as soon as they hit puberty, or graduate highschool, or univeristy. some major point in life they come over. as a result, if you're brown, chances are, you're out trying to get your sons or daughters hitched. if not that, then your friends sons and daughters hitched.

    shes getting wedding proposals (arranged marriages) pretty much each and every day. her mom said that she isn't getting married until at least 23 or 24(3-4 years from now) and until she finishes her college. but everytime a new wedding proposal shows up, her mom backs out from that. and everytime someone is over for a proposal, my girlfriend gets more depressed. not because we (as in me and her) aren't getting married, but because how presistant they are, and how her mom keeps changing her mind.

    cant really talk to her mom as she lost her husband about 2 years ago and is still quiet misrable. misrable to the point where she says that her life is meaningless and useless now that shes a widow, and just keeps talking about death, and dying, which is depressing my girlfriend even more.

    she doesn't work much, and if i tell her to get another job or be more busy with work, she says that she cant leave her mom in her current state, regardless of her own needs/wants. so staying in the house with her mom is getting her more depressed.

    and to which, i'm pretty much powerless to do anything. both my girlfriend and i agreeded that we wont get married (to each other, or whom ever) until after we graduate from unvieristy and get a job and the whole 9 yards. i cant speed up time, or drop out and get a job at mcdonalds to support ourselves....

    fml
     
  19. Antimatter

    Antimatter SS.org Regular

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    15.
     
  20. caskettheclown

    caskettheclown Sexytime!

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    We've best friends for over a year now.


    You do make some sense and i'll put some thought into it and see what I get.

    Thank you.
     

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