So last week I went to london for a few days, and then went to a local music festival at the weekend, so I thought, what better way to use up time, than take loads of pictures and try to be funny? I'm sure there was a better way, but at the time I thought it was a great idea. Anyway, it was a good excuse to get a break from this crappy area, and to pick up the 7621 I had bought off James (Metalfiend666). Now this here's fairly long, but bear with me. We'll have some laughs, some sad moments, and near the end of the story, when I'm drunk, some horrible feats of photography. So let's begin Got all my stuff packed, including my trusty friend: Crackers. The weather has actually been really hot lately, so short were in order. This was actually an attempt at taking a picture in the dark, to show that I had some bitching music to listen to on my 10+ hour bus trip. The music in the photo was Cloud Connected by In flames. Let me just point out, that the bus was very crowded, and it's very difficult trying not to look like a twat taking pictures of random things, when you're being a twat and taking random pictures of things Needless to say, I arrived in London at 6am, and promptly hopped on a train to grays. A reasonably nice view of london. I was freaking out. This sign spoke to me on so many levels, and unfortunately I replied with hell no. I don't think I got the intended meaning of the sign, but it was early, and the more important parts of the sign detailing what it was actually about were too small to read. Upon arrival, I was greeted by James, and he gave me a shiny guitar, and a definitely not so shiny case, so I took a picture to document this receiving of axes. Unfortunately I am crap at taking pictures from this angle, so you can just see the top of me upping the horns (along with me grinning like a twit). After wandering around the train station in London for a few hours, I met up with my dad and my younger brother. Then we proceeded via sweltering underground trains, to administer my metal prescence upon the National history museum . A giant building full of awesome dinosaur skeletons and dead things must be deemed true . However, queues are deemed false . They had some new exhibit with animatronic dinosaur head things, so we decided to give it a shot. The lighting in the exhibit sucked, so these pictures came out pretty crappy, but you get the general idea. This one was the most metal, carrying a giant warning sign before you reached it, warning it may be distressing to children because it's eating it's own young. I found that amusing Some sort of giant marsupial, I think. Giant animatronic scorpions FTW The big dinosaur in the main hallway. With that visit firmly over, I enjoyed a delicious hotdog outside in the shade. I don't know why I took this picture, sometimes I don't get myself . Anyway, we returned to the house of one of my dad's old friends, where we were staying. There was a lengthy conversation with my dad's friends, then sleep time. The next morning.... Semi-skimmed milk = fail cheap Morrison's cereal also = fail The two combined = , as the picture clearly shows. Quick picture of the new guitar It was an even hotter day, so I enjoyed a tasty drink (the first of many many overpriced Oasis drinks I would have that day) So I'm walking to the tube station, and I'm extremely bored, so I was looking for random amusing things to take pictures of. I kept checking car number plates, but the only interesting one I found was one ending in LTE. Suffice to say, this was the only thing I found. I was expecting it to be a chicken theme park, sadly I think I was mistaken. This one's for drew . Shame I wasn't going to be there when it was happening. Trying to purchase new shoes (at schuh, no less). The sales people were less than helpful, but I ended up with some new shoes, as the ones I had were dying. Then I went to virgin megastores on Oxford street, and it was my lucky day. There was a Century Media sale, so the entire Nevermore catalog was on sale for 5.99 Unfortunately, I'd bought DHIADW for 12.99 down the street in HMV. I was less than pleased. I also bought 2 Oasis drinks in costa Coffee, and they were £1.50 each . London is a very expensive place. I was staying in one of their son's rooms while they were away. Needless to say, I approved of his choice of posters (there were others, but they were more revealing, so I didn't photo them). My new shoes Take that old shoes! Now. I like Nevermore. And I like playing guitar. So I thought... ...I'll play guitar WITH one of the new Nevermore CDs I bought, and it'll be twice as fun. The reality was a huge let down Anyway, it was getting late, so I put the guitar to sleep. ...and then.....I played it while it was asleep.....does that make me a bad person? . Anyway, this brings me to my third and final day in london. All packed up in the morning, with some crackers still left over. Ever seen, or read the book High Fidelity? This is the shop it was based on. Yes that's right...I went there. And I walked away with: Morbid angel - Altars of Madness Pantera - Walk (Single, and on Vinyl. It's got Walk and No good(attack the radical) from the album, and two live tracks from CFH ) Metallica - The Black Album (on vinyl as well . I figured it was a decent album, and it's in good condition too, so in 20 years it might be worth something). Anyway, we decided to get the bus into central london. Unfortunately I had to nab the batteries from the camera for my iPod, so when MySpace estate agents went past, I didn't have time to take a picture (I did chuckle at it though). For some reason the bus stopped for ages, then a voice said it was going to be there for a long time. So we thought, fuck it, we'll get the tube. No sooner had we gotten off and crossed the road, the bastard drove off . That aside, we went to covent garden, and someone shouted "LAMB OF GOD!" at me as we were walking along. It would've been even more confusing had I not been wearing my lamb of god t-shirt. I don't know about anyone else, but if I see people walking around with t-shirts of bands I like on, I don't shout things at them . Confused and alarmed I hurried on. Hyde park was actually really, really nice that day. It was almost like being on holiday. For some reason it doesn't look it in the picture, but the sun was out and it was very nice. That is, apart from the fact they wanted to charge us for sitting on these deckchairs, so we opted for the grass instead. Also, to the right of what's in this picture, there were a fair few hot women sunbathing. On that day, Revealing Bikini's = true Shade FTW. Thank you trees. I snagged this picture of a trellis type structure for my friends. They like trellises. Don't ask me why. Back on the bus again, for another long long journey. Overhead speaker of doom. I'm convinced it was going to kill me from above when I was sleeping. More awesome music to listen to (Deadwing by Porcupine tree, if you can't make it out). So I arrived home at 4.15 on friday morning, caught 6 hours sleep, when my friends Ross and Eoin arrived, and we began our journey to the festival known as The Wickerman. Our supplies for the friday. I would like to say in my defence, that the wine was Ross' idea, and the magazine was Eoin's. But really. How many of you will actually believe me Ross' Mercedes . We cranked some metal, opened the windows and drove around in it lots. Plastic cups FTW. So we get to the festival, and we get these neon pink wrist bands, and mine breaks when I try to put it on So we park, and there's this big thing, as pictured. And it's FULL of hippies. This was a grim sign of things to come First drink of the night. That's Ross on the left, and Eoin on the right. It didn't take us long to completely mess up the tent. The naughty magazine corner. I do wonder about Eoin sometimes. He brought this bag of tissues with him. Needless to say, it was added to the corner. Take that Fog! Bad picture, but the drink was setting in from my lack of food and/or sleep. I bought a hotdog, and was outraged. This was no hotdog. It was a fucking regular sausage in a hotdog roll. I was most displeased, especially seeing as it cost 3 quid. I disapproved of what I had seen so far, and I let people know it. I don't remember, but this MAY have been one of the only good bands we saw. Of which there were 2. And by good, I mean semi-decent. The big ride type things. I'll be dammed if I was going on them though. It was getting dark, and when we'd been over the other side of the field, they'd somehow erected this giant glowing sphere. I was worried. And then Ross snapped a picture on his phone of the sphere with some guy bending over in front of it. It looked funny. So we laughed. Don't judge us. Unfortunately, being so tired, and drinking so early, we all got sleepy around 9pm. So we decided an hours nap was in order, before more drinking commenced. Dear lord that was a horrible idea. I woke up at 10 feeling like I should've done the next morning. Suffice to say the rest of the night sucked, apart from harassing people via Bluetooth. And by harassing, I mean trying to send random people pictures and such. I did manage to send someone a random picture of household objects I had taken, by renaming it as "me naked.jpg". I got a laugh out of that. I also discovered you could send contacts via bluetooth, so I sent someone Eoin's number. I also got a laugh out of that. Then sleep commenced. The weather was a bit nicer the next morning. Now Eoin had brought a knife. And covered it in peanut butter as he devoured the whole jar with bread. Suffice to say, I abhor peanut butter in every way, so without a salvageable knife, my keys had to suffice. This was not a pleasant experience. We'd also been into town (to have some decent food, of which I had a delicious bacon roll. I took a picture with my phone but can't be arsed getting it now) and bought mini-speakers, to administer badass metal via my iPod to our ears, and the unsuspecting ears of the people around us. Sadly, they turned out to be absolutely shit, and barely audible over the extremely loud bass of the reggae tent (which continued long into the night). And lo, we began drinking again, this time not so early. I bought a new hat, as it was too sunny, and since I'd been drinking, I thought this would make me look badass. How wrong I was. Is that a band playing? or just setting up? Either way, I seem to approve. Just in case I forget, I should mention one of the semi-decent bands we saw. I'd heard they were playing, and they were metal, so I looked them up online. I think I heard a song, and they sounded very very emo hardcore type stuff. So we saw them playing, and figured, what the hell, let's watch. They played some newer stuff at the end of the set we caught, and it was very odd indeed. It was like, Iron maiden type guitar harmonies, with some pretty cool riffs, and then emo like breakdowns. The singer was very odd. In the emo breakdowns he sang in the style of such things, then there was some screaming, and then, out of nowhere, he'd pull out these hilarious Bruce Dickinson-like high notes. It was quite a sight. Also, I'd never actually seen it before, but these two bald guys just started randomly hardcore dancing in the middle of the small crowd. We were absolutely pissing ourselves laughing. More poor photography of something happening. I don't know why I took this picture. Let's move on. Something else happening on the main stage. The wickerman burning. You can't really see it from where we were. Now the thing that annoyed me is, there's the film The Wickerman. The wickerman actually at the festival looks NOTHING like the one in the film, and is a new incredibly gay pose every year. I'm sure we shouted some abuse at it as it burned to the ground. This was about midnight on saturday. Then we met some people we knew, and I made a complete twat of myself, and ended up trying to sleep in the rain, then wandering back to our tent soaking. Next morning, and time to wake up Eoin, the lazy git (I'd already been up for a few hours). So I grabbed one of his shoes, and carefully lined up these two pictures. This is Before. After I cracked him in the face with his own shoe. It was fun. Taking down the tents. And the crappy little chairs we bought, which I got a damn splinter off when we put them in the car . We then drove back, stopping at Cream O' Galloway on the way back (who make bitchin ice cream, and where I almost broke the camera, which doesn't belong to me) and back home, where I promptly went back to sleep. If I can get the photos off my phone, I'll add them, but they're not terribly interesting. Mind you, neither were those . I'm not sure it compares to my other picstory of doing random things that people do with other people but with inanimate objects. I've got something good cooked up for the 7621, I think, but it may take lots of planning and effort. Anyway, I also have a video that Eoin made of us erecting our tent. He made one last year entitled Tent Dismantlement 101, but I wasn't in it, so we did lesson two this year: Tent En-mantlement (we were trying to think what the opposite of dismantlement was, and that's what we came up with ). I uploaded it to youtube for all to see: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BGflDuEUt-M So this concludes my very, very long picstory. Congrats to anyone who actually read right through to the end and watched the video. It may have been as time consuming as it was for me to write.