We moved into a house in the same town a couple miles from our other place and guess what there is a flock of "feral" Peacocks that randomly roam around the neighborhood. They were cute for about the first hour and now we've figured out that they're basically just fancy looking Turkeys that make a hideous skreeching noise. So, the back story is some crazy bird lady several houses down bought a breeding pair here 10 years ago and they multipled up to like 20+ and then some guy from Texas moved in nearby and got sick of their shit and killed all of them. So dingbat broad buys another breeding pair and now theres like 10+ of them and of course she feeds the stupid things in her backyard every evening. Its quite the spectacle really. And of course the entire neighborhood is divided. Some people hate them, some love them. I'm still kind of neutral on them at this point, however I just want them off my roof and out of my yards thats all. At first they stayed off the property because apparently the previous tenants had a couple bulldogs. Now they've figured out that the bulldogs are gone and they're decimating my wifes prized rare plant collection that took years to grow. So at first wife and kids thought they were cool but now they basically hate them. Again, I could really care less but I have to find a solution. So I contact the "government" and of course I get the runaround. First I call the Clackamas Sherrif's Office and they basically laugh at me and say theres nothing they can do cause all they do is catch dogs. They do tell me that when the peacocks are on my property they belong to me but they can't tell me what I can or can't do once I catch them. So I call the Oregon State Police and they pretty much tell me to stop wasting their time and call Oregon Dept. of Fish & Wildlife Invasive Species Division. That guy is pretty cool but tells me that peacocks are actually "fowl" and they fall under the jurisdiction of the Oregon Dept. of Agriculture. So I call them and they laugh at me and tell me to call the City of Lake Oswego. I call them and they say even though you have a city address you're actually in unincorporated Clackamas County so call them... lol... so at this point I call the Sherrif again and tell them this story and again they say sorry theres nothing they can do except maybe go to a county commmisioners meeting and file a motion or some bullshit. Then they tell me to call the Zoo. So I'm like what have I got to lose, call the Zoo. The guy is real friendly but laughs his ass off when I ask him if they can come pick the peacocks. He says no thanks the Zoo got rid of all of their peacocks but he won't tell me why but he keeps snickering. So bottom line me here folks. I need some ideas that don't involve me roasting these juicy succulent creatures on my BBQ basted with a Cajun sauce. I need a clean lawful solution to make these things just go away so I can practice and record in peace in my new studio and my wife can have her plants unmolested. And no, a dog is not an option.