Not sure what to do... (Someone threatening suicide)

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by Spaced Out Ace, Feb 25, 2018.

  1. NateFalcon

    NateFalcon The Impossible Kid

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    Well, killing yourself when you have kids to support isn’t classy...I’m not trying to be cynical, we both agree OP has already shown genuine concern and can only do so much, but I don’t think my previous points are “bad advice”...especially since my obvious humor was admittedly “hypothetical”
     
  2. BornToLooze

    BornToLooze SS.org Regular

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    But, in some people the pills can leave you so fucked up in the head you can barely function, so yes, then can make you commit suicide.

    But when you're really depressed you'll do everything you can to keep people from finding out because you don't want anyone to care about you. And if someone does find out, the only advice they're going to give is either bad or worse because that means someone cares about you and it makes you feel even worse.

    The only way to get over it is to find a way to keep you distracted from your thoughts (music, exercise, ect.) until you're to that point in your life where you don't have the option to say fuck it I quit no matter how shitty you feel.
     
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  3. NateFalcon

    NateFalcon The Impossible Kid

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    ...threatening to kill yourself when you have kids to support isn’t classy. We both agree the OP is generally concerned but can only do so much, but nothing I said is “bad advice” considering my obvious and admittedly “hypothetical” humor, and I’m aware this is third party to the OP. I’ve also had friends who “couldn’t handle it” but even they forget that we all have to keep our chins up through they’re usually devastating suicides (they’re not around to play damage control afterwards). Positivity, laughing and realizing that life is great is not bad advice
     
  4. NateFalcon

    NateFalcon The Impossible Kid

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    ...threatening to kill yourself when you have kids to support isn’t classy. We both agree the OP is generally concerned but can only do so much, but nothing I said is “bad advice” considering my obvious and admittedly “hypothetical” humor, and I’m aware this is third party to the OP. I’ve also had friends who “couldn’t handle it” but even they forget that we all have to keep our chins up through they’re usually devastating suicides (they’re not around to play damage control afterwards). Positivity, laughing and realizing that life is great is not bad advice
     
  5. Spaced Out Ace

    Spaced Out Ace 0 0 1 0 0 6 5 0 3\

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    I feel like shit, but thanks.
     
  6. NateFalcon

    NateFalcon The Impossible Kid

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    You personally, definitely shouldn’t feel like shit...you seem like a solid guy -if you’ve found your own “good life”, be super thankful you’re not suffering from the same personal agony, and realize you’re a big person for your empathy level to attempt to help a friend
     
  7. Spaced Out Ace

    Spaced Out Ace 0 0 1 0 0 6 5 0 3\

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    I haven't found a "good life," not yet anyways, but it's nothing to complain about either all considered.
     
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  8. NateFalcon

    NateFalcon The Impossible Kid

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    When horrible life events have struck me, I’ve incidentally have noticed a MAJOR uptick in my guitar chops as I retort back to my little guitar world...hell, take up wood-burning art if you have to lol
     
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  9. Spaced Out Ace

    Spaced Out Ace 0 0 1 0 0 6 5 0 3\

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    That's what I do too, usually.
     
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  10. NateFalcon

    NateFalcon The Impossible Kid

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    I find my good life in moments...none of our lives are perfect. Your life is supposed to be 75% shitty just to get the 25% of “good times”...that’s why you mostly see old guys with white hair who own nice cars at car shows -it takes a lifetime sometimes to get what you ultimately want. Some people have trouble accepting that, and they seem to take it (life) worse than those that can slow down and take life one day at a time
     
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  11. Randy

    Randy ROOMFORYOUROOMFORYOUROOMFORYOU Super Moderator

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    I was referring to the amount of attention spent to brow beating the guy over the fact he's considering suicide despite having kids and the amount of people saying "if someone wants to die, nothing you can do". Not that either are untrue but I just don't get on with fixating on negatives when you're trying to talk someone down (the subject) or console a person (the OP).

    OP deserves a ton of credit and for all we know, his actions DID save a person's life and even if suicide is a selfish choice if you have a kid, that's not necessarily the argument I believe changes their mind but that's just my opinion I guess.
     
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  12. Spaced Out Ace

    Spaced Out Ace 0 0 1 0 0 6 5 0 3\

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    I think it might be worth noting that I don't have the admin from the other forum on Facebook, so I had to find him. They don't have a PM system, so it was what I had to do. Thankfully, he writes books, and as such, I knew what he looked like.
     
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  13. Hollowway

    Hollowway Extended Ranger

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    Spaced, I think that's actually really cool that you took the time to do that. It's difficult to know what would make the situation better, but knowing that someone cares - even if it's a random dude across the globe on the internet - can't hurt. I think it's very, very good that you did that, and if I were the guy, it would make me feel good that you did care enough to do something. I mean, if I were suicidal, and someone like my mom or wife or whatever told me I shouldn't, I'd kind of feel like that was expected. But if someone I barely knew did, I'd be like, "Whoa - apparently the world knows I exist."
     
  14. NateFalcon

    NateFalcon The Impossible Kid

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    I hear you, I’m not trying to come off cringy or saying to bang random chicks as a coping mechanism or to bash the guy for his potential selfishness on behalf of his kids. I’ve never had suicidal feelings even though I’ve got so may horrible events turned into reflective humor that it’s crazy. I’m just making it known I was making humor...not giving ACTUAL advice. I wish the best
     
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  15. NateFalcon

    NateFalcon The Impossible Kid

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    The advice I DID give, I stand behind
     
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  16. Spaced Out Ace

    Spaced Out Ace 0 0 1 0 0 6 5 0 3\

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    I get what you were trying to say. Basically: Use it as a learning experience, gather yourself, apply the lesson learned, and try to move on. Maybe a piece of you is lost, but there could be an entirely new piece of your to flower from the whole thing.
     
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  17. NateFalcon

    NateFalcon The Impossible Kid

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    Exactly, I’m 38, been divorced once (rough), I’m actually glad my life “fell apart” the first time...I’ve now been re-married (8 yrs now) to the worlds’ coolest chick, and it never would’ve happened had I stayed down the same path. Fast forward, things are great...my wife is now gorgeous, smart, has her law degree, and my life is so much better thanks to my perceived “failures”
     
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  18. pondman

    pondman Build Whore. Contributor

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    The friends I've known that have committed suicide didn't ever mention it or show any intention of doing it.
    OP you did what you could and should be proud of that and not beat yourself up about it.
    I hope he gets some help to sort his problems out but that's out of your hands now.
     
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  19. Spaced Out Ace

    Spaced Out Ace 0 0 1 0 0 6 5 0 3\

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    Well, he finally posted to let everyone know he's okay and had a friend stay with him last night to cheer him up. Hopefully he gets some help and some solace.
     
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  20. TedEH

    TedEH Cromulent

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    If any part of this strikes me as "bad advice", it's these bits. This is the kind of things you use to justify the fact that it happened to you, but in no way is that kind of behavior normal, expected and acceptable. I can understand the appeal of treating it like some kind of normalized part of the experience of growing up, but it's a huge stretch to call that a universal experience. Lets not justify people cheating on their partners.
     
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