Ask Jeff

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by JeffFromMtl, Mar 24, 2012.

  1. JeffFromMtl

    JeffFromMtl Уродливый, но честны

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    Yes, I'm opening myself up to this. Being the beacon of truth and knowledge that I am, I have decided to share the wealth. Here, you present me with your queries, quandaries, questions, reservations and doubts about anything at all and I shall point you toward enlightenment and absolute truth.



    *I can in no way guarantee the accuracy of any statements I make or the soundness of any advice I give. Godspeed!
     
  2. Cabinet

    Cabinet :O

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    Who is your favorite pony from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
    And if you say Fluttershy you are totally not coming to my birthday party this year.
     
  3. Hollowway

    Hollowway Extended Ranger

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    If you're in a car traveling the speed of light, and you turn your headlights on, will they do anything?
     
  4. JeffFromMtl

    JeffFromMtl Уродливый, но честны

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    The only "My Little Ponies" that I'm familiar with are the ones that made an appearance on Robot Chicken's "My Little Pony: Apocalypse Pony". As such, I would have to go with Death Pony, for he is gr1m and tr00. Pestilence Pony is a close second for the best name and slight alliteration.
     
  5. JeffFromMtl

    JeffFromMtl Уродливый, но честны

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    They would absolutely. I can't say that they would illuminate the path ahead, however they would at the very least still be capable of illuminating themselves. This may not help the conductor of said vessel, but could serve as a warning to oncoming traffic.
     
  6. Cabinet

    Cabinet :O

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    I'm just gonna mark that down as Rainbow Dash
    Good choice, brostadamus.
     
  7. Hollowway

    Hollowway Extended Ranger

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    I have another question, should my fat alcoholic uncle, Mr. Will Power, start going by Bill, since he's fat and alcoholic?
     
  8. JeffFromMtl

    JeffFromMtl Уродливый, но честны

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    Yes, he absolutely should. Under the assumption that he lives in America, he stands a chance of being sued for false advertising otherwise.
     
  9. Fiction

    Fiction For Mod

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    Oh wise Jeff, from Montreal, Which came first? The Chicken or the Egg.
     
  10. JeffFromMtl

    JeffFromMtl Уродливый, но честны

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    The "chicken". One could only assume that the organism that would eventually evolve into "chicken" as we know it, once complex enough to do so, simply started laying eggs as a means of giving birth, whether this organism was already classified as "chicken" or otherwise. As such, its existence must have long preceded that of the egg.
     
  11. brynotherhino

    brynotherhino Reformed Redneck

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    Oh Wise Jeff from Montreal, if a solipsist falls in the forest and dies are we?
     
  12. Thep

    Thep Blast & Sweep

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    When will djent die, and how can I make it happen faster?
     
  13. tacotiklah

    tacotiklah I am Denko (´・ω・`)

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    Could Jesus microwave a burrito so hot, that even He Himself could not eat it?
     
  14. JeffFromMtl

    JeffFromMtl Уродливый, но честны

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    It depends entirely on who said solipsist is in relation to the first person. If the solipsist is the first person, then the answer is no, we are not. If the solipsist is anyone other than the first person, then I'd say we needn't be too concerned.
     
  15. leandroab

    leandroab Stay Negative™

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    Você sabia que o sabiá sabia assoviar? E que os tres tigres tristes comiam tres pratos de trigo?
     
  16. JeffFromMtl

    JeffFromMtl Уродливый, но честны

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    Considering that deathcore, the last big trend in heavy music, seemed to reach the end of its shelf life in about 6-7 years, I would measure the projected lifespan of the current trend with the same stick.

    The simplest way to kill anything that is dependent of humans for its survival, whether that thing is a child, a pet goldfish or an art form, is through neglect.
     
  17. leandroab

    leandroab Stay Negative™

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    Poutine, eh?
     
  18. JeffFromMtl

    JeffFromMtl Уродливый, но честны

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    The only Jesus I know well enough to comment on is the one that works in the kitchen at Carlos and Pepe's on Peel. He does not use a microwave to cook his burritos, because that would be "inauthentic". However, he does have a particularly sensitive mouth, and has a propensity for burning his tongue on hot food due to impatience.
     
  19. JeffFromMtl

    JeffFromMtl Уродливый, но честны

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    Obviamente.

    Yes: La Banquise - Poutine
     
  20. Rick

    Rick ALL HAIL DJOD Forum MVP

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    Who killed JFK?
     

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