SS.org Joke Thread - Page 15

highlordmugfug · 06-26-2012, 01:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zeno

Agreed man.

And I've seen that "orange head" one twice now, and I still don't get it

Quote:

Originally Posted by JP Universe

^ me either? Is it supposed to be so dumb that it's funny?

It's an anti-joke, you big dummies.

Like:
How do you confuse a blonde?

Paint yourself green and throw spoons at her.

Loxodrome · 06-26-2012, 05:43 AM

How do you confuse a Gay person?

Yellow.

ghstofperdition · 06-26-2012, 05:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Loxodrome

How do you confuse a Gay person?

Yellow.

I'm pretty certain transsexuals confuse them too.

JP Universe · 06-26-2012, 08:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by highlordmugfug

It's an anti-joke, you big dummies.

Like:
How do you confuse a blonde?

Paint yourself green and throw spoons at her.

Oh one of those jokes....

Prydogga · 06-26-2012, 11:59 AM

TL;DR on this whole thread, so forgive me if this has come up already.

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

6 hadn't been the same since 'Nam, sometimes looking into 7's eyes he could see the horrors of the war, and was reminded of his buddies perishing around him.
Also, 7 had a hook for a hand, and that was pretty scary.

BlackMastodon · 06-26-2012, 12:04 PM

I thought the orange head one was a gear joke, as in the guy wished for an Orange cab head?

That way makes a bit more sense to me.

highlordmugfug · 06-26-2012, 03:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlackMastodon

I thought the orange head one was a gear joke, as in the guy wished for an Orange cab head?

That way makes a bit more sense to me.

The version I hear most often, has the guy with a literal orange for a head. And he wished that "My head was an orange," or "I had an orange for a head."

That makes it a little more apparent.

BlackMastodon · 06-26-2012, 11:44 PM

^Ah alright, yeah I guess it is indeed one of those anti-jokes then. I tried guys, really I did.

Genome · 07-05-2012, 07:51 AM

I love anti-jokes.

Anyway this one is impossible to do via a forum, so do it to your friends -

You: I have a great knock-knock joke, you have to start it though.

Friend: Ok. Knock knock?

You: Who's there?

Friend: Uh...

[Friend's face crumbles in misery and despair]

makeitreign · 07-05-2012, 01:32 PM

Or,

You: "I have a great knock knock joke, but you have to start it."

Them: "Ok. Knock knock."

You: "Come in."

glassmoon0fo · 07-05-2012, 02:35 PM

I went to Ireland for a college band trip, and we went to a local pub where I saw this guy sitting at the end of the bar, looking all dejected just like in the movies. So, I went and bought him a drink and asked him what's troubling him. He gladly knocked back the beer, and with a slow, low voice said, "You see those houses across the way, on top 'eh that hill? I built those houses wit mah' bare hands, yet do they call me McGregor the house-builder? Nay, they've since forgotten." I bought him another drink, hoping he would continue his story. He knocked the drink back, and said, "...and do ye' see the brick road leading up to this very pub? I built the path to help with the patronage because this pub means the world to me, yet do they call me McGregor the brick-layer? Nay, they don't care." Saddened, I bought him a big glass and toasted silently to him. He drank the beer in long and deep, slammed the glass down on the bar top and said, "BUT YOU .... JUST ONE GOAT..."

JosephAOI · 07-05-2012, 10:33 PM

Alright, I'm gonna need some interaction from someone for this one:

Ask me if I'm a tree.

flint757 · 07-05-2012, 10:45 PM

Are you a tree?

JosephAOI · 07-05-2012, 10:46 PM

No!

/anti-joke

flexkill · 07-05-2012, 10:58 PM

DELETED by poster

flexkill · 07-05-2012, 11:00 PM

Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old
fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: "Free to good home.You want it, you take it." For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of this deal. It looked to good to be true, so he changed
the sign to read: "Fridge for sale $50." The next day someone stole it.

JosephAOI · 07-08-2012, 01:54 AM

Alright, got a real joke this time!:

A middle aged guy and his teenage daughter were
riding a motor bike and taking a shortcut through
a darkened park when they were stopped by a gang of muggers.

They searched them and took the guys wallet,
his watch and the motorbike but couldn’t find
any jewelry from the girl.When the muggers had gone, the guy asked his daughter;
“Did they take your new diamond ring as well dear?”

“No Papa,” replied the girl with a grin,
“I managed to hide it when they were searching you.”

“Hide it? where?” asked the guy,” I saw them search you too.”

“I slipped it into my… a… my . . .um…. pee pee place.” said the girl shyly.

“Damn!” swore the guy,
“If only your mother were here, we could have saved my motor bike!!”

tuneinrecords · 07-08-2012, 02:24 AM

So here's a good line when you're at the gym and there's a hot girl working out. You need to break the ice... You walk up to her -

You - "So you like fitness?"

Girl - "Yeah I love fitness!"

You - "How 'bout fitness dick in your mouth?"

ALSO - the only other joke I could ever remember -

How do you get a nun pregnant?

.... her.

flexkill · 07-08-2012, 02:45 AM

So i was doing this girl up the butt in a clown suit last night and she said, "a clown suit? isn't that a bit austentatious?" And I said, "austentatious, isn't that a big word for an 8 year old?"

Loxodrome · 07-08-2012, 02:48 AM

(´･ω･`)

Get it?

Cynic · 07-08-2012, 02:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Loxodrome

(´･ω･`)

Get it?

Do you like anal?

Loxodrome · 07-08-2012, 08:15 AM

Fat girls are like farts. Yeah, sure, I do them. But if someone asks me if I did, I always deny it.

TaylorMacPhail · 07-09-2012, 08:03 AM

A seal walks into a club.

grunge782 · 07-09-2012, 11:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tuneinrecords

So here's a good line when you're at the gym and there's a hot girl working out. You need to break the ice... You walk up to her -

You - "So you like fitness?"

Girl - "Yeah I love fitness!"

You - "How 'bout fitness dick in your mouth?"

And that's how I met my wife...

mcleanab · 07-10-2012, 09:07 PM

So...

Three rats are hanging out and want to know who is the toughest of them all...

First one says, "You want to know how tough I am? Watch this..." He walks over to the mouse trap, kicks the cheese away and catches the bar as it swings down on him and begins doing bench presses with it.

The second one says, "That's pretty good... but watch this..." He scoops up a bunch of rat poison, dumps it in his coffee, and sucks it down. Just hangs out and smiles at the other two.

The third rat starts to walk away. The other two call out after him, "Where are you going?" Third rat says, "I'm off to .... the cat."

	sevenstring guitars		sevenstring registry		photo gallery		subscription		spy

06-26-2012, 11:59 AM	#355
Prydogga Giddyup. Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Apartment 5B, New York (Vic, Australia) Posts: 10,513 Thanked: 81 Feedback Score: 0 reviews	TL;DR on this whole thread, so forgive me if this has come up already. Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 hadn't been the same since 'Nam, sometimes looking into 7's eyes he could see the horrors of the war, and was reminded of his buddies perishing around him. Also, 7 had a hook for a hand, and that was pretty scary. BlackMastodon and Zeno like this. M E M O I R S Music from myself and Kurkkuviipale! http://soundcloud.com/m-e-m-o-i-r-s I also do graphic design, both freelance and for label Myriad Records.

06-26-2012, 12:04 PM	#356
BlackMastodon \m/ (ﾟДﾟ) \m/ Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Windsor, ON Posts: 3,165 Thanked: 12 Feedback Score: 0 reviews	I thought the orange head one was a gear joke, as in the guy wished for an Orange cab head? That way makes a bit more sense to me. Zeno likes this. "Metal is for Vikings; if you're not a Viking, get off the boat." - The Beard "He doesn't even like Metallica, that's how metal he is." - My friend describing my musical tastes to her friends.

06-26-2012, 11:44 PM	#358
BlackMastodon \m/ (ﾟДﾟ) \m/ Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Windsor, ON Posts: 3,165 Thanked: 12 Feedback Score: 0 reviews	^Ah alright, yeah I guess it is indeed one of those anti-jokes then. I tried guys, really I did. "Metal is for Vikings; if you're not a Viking, get off the boat." - The Beard "He doesn't even like Metallica, that's how metal he is." - My friend describing my musical tastes to her friends.

07-05-2012, 07:51 AM	#359
Genome Wrex. Shepard. Join Date: May 2010 Location: Reading, England Posts: 1,005 Thanked: 15 Feedback Score: 3 reviews	I love anti-jokes. Anyway this one is impossible to do via a forum, so do it to your friends - You: I have a great knock-knock joke, you have to start it though. Friend: Ok. Knock knock? You: Who's there? Friend: Uh... [Friend's face crumbles in misery and despair] Nile and PettyThief like this. http://www.myspace.com/zodiarkmetal http://www.soundclick.com/zodiark

Today
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06-26-2012, 05:43 AM	#352
Loxodrome Prog metal Furry! Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: Coffs Harbour, N.S.W, Australia Posts: 1,227 Thanked: 20 Feedback Score: 0 reviews	How do you confuse a Gay person? Yellow.

07-05-2012, 01:32 PM	#360
makeitreign on dem hoes Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 233 Thanked: 0 Feedback Score: 0 reviews	Or, You: "I have a great knock knock joke, but you have to start it." Them: "Ok. Knock knock." You: "Come in." BlackMastodon and Nile like this.

07-05-2012, 02:35 PM	#361
glassmoon0fo Boats 'n Hoes Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: bossier city, la Posts: 1,754 Thanked: 27 Feedback Score: 16 reviews	I went to Ireland for a college band trip, and we went to a local pub where I saw this guy sitting at the end of the bar, looking all dejected just like in the movies. So, I went and bought him a drink and asked him what's troubling him. He gladly knocked back the beer, and with a slow, low voice said, "You see those houses across the way, on top 'eh that hill? I built those houses wit mah' bare hands, yet do they call me McGregor the house-builder? Nay, they've since forgotten." I bought him another drink, hoping he would continue his story. He knocked the drink back, and said, "...and do ye' see the brick road leading up to this very pub? I built the path to help with the patronage because this pub means the world to me, yet do they call me McGregor the brick-layer? Nay, they don't care." Saddened, I bought him a big glass and toasted silently to him. He drank the beer in long and deep, slammed the glass down on the bar top and said, "BUT YOU .... JUST ONE GOAT..." TheHandOfStone, MetalBuddah, AliceLG and 4 others like this. "I think he actually means beach wood. As in driftwood. For a sound as huge as the ocean." - TomAwesome Most women just pretend that Men are the crazy ones. trust me. But when the new Dark Age arrives and they need food and shelter they will be lining up to lay down and please for a handful of blackberries and a deer skin hat. Good luck with you both and remember "it's 187 on an undercover cop" - Some Guy on Facebook

07-05-2012, 10:33 PM	#362
JosephAOI do u evn djent fggt? Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: Louisville, KY Posts: 1,864 Thanked: 30 Feedback Score: 1 reviews	Alright, I'm gonna need some interaction from someone for this one: Ask me if I'm a tree. "Your picking hand scares me, Joseph" - My friend Pete "If you can't enjoy one Meshuggah riff looped for three hours straight, you're doing it wrong." -prh "Having technical prowess is like masturbation: it's pretty cool and it might please you, but there is still no emotional connection between you and your hands." - broj15

07-05-2012, 10:45 PM	#363
flint757 SS.org Regular Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Houston, TX Posts: 3,629 Thanked: 8 Feedback Score: 1 reviews	Are you a tree? "Look, guys... Religion is like a penis. It's ok to have one. It's ok even to be proud of it. But please don't pull it out in public and start waving it around. And definitely don't force it down the throats of my children."-genome "To most Christians the bible is like a software license No one actually reads it They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree"."-Shadygrove

07-05-2012, 10:46 PM	#364
JosephAOI do u evn djent fggt? Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: Louisville, KY Posts: 1,864 Thanked: 30 Feedback Score: 1 reviews	No! /anti-joke vampiregenocide, flexkill and flint757 like this. "Your picking hand scares me, Joseph" - My friend Pete "If you can't enjoy one Meshuggah riff looped for three hours straight, you're doing it wrong." -prh "Having technical prowess is like masturbation: it's pretty cool and it might please you, but there is still no emotional connection between you and your hands." - broj15

07-05-2012, 10:58 PM	#365
flexkill -low Slung Outlaw- Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Nashville, USA Posts: 1,741 Thanked: 28 Feedback Score: 5 reviews	DELETED DELETED by poster EPIC! "If you ask your girlfriend where she wants to eat and she says "I don't care," what she's actually saying is "Guess. You will be graded." -Grand Moff Tim Last edited by flexkill; 07-05-2012 at 11:48 PM. Reason: The more I thought about it ...probably not appropriate. Sorry.

07-05-2012, 11:00 PM	#366
flexkill -low Slung Outlaw- Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Nashville, USA Posts: 1,741 Thanked: 28 Feedback Score: 5 reviews	To close to truth I think. Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: "Free to good home.You want it, you take it." For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of this deal. It looked to good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: "Fridge for sale $50." The next day someone stole it. MetalBuddah, AxeHappy, BlackMastodon and 5 others like this. EPIC! "If you ask your girlfriend where she wants to eat and she says "I don't care," what she's actually saying is "Guess. You will be graded." -Grand Moff Tim

07-08-2012, 01:54 AM	#367
JosephAOI do u evn djent fggt? Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: Louisville, KY Posts: 1,864 Thanked: 30 Feedback Score: 1 reviews	Alright, got a real joke this time!: A middle aged guy and his teenage daughter were riding a motor bike and taking a shortcut through a darkened park when they were stopped by a gang of muggers. They searched them and took the guys wallet, his watch and the motorbike but couldn’t find any jewelry from the girl.When the muggers had gone, the guy asked his daughter; “Did they take your new diamond ring as well dear?” “No Papa,” replied the girl with a grin, “I managed to hide it when they were searching you.” “Hide it? where?” asked the guy,” I saw them search you too.” “I slipped it into my… a… my . . .um…. pee pee place.” said the girl shyly. “Damn!” swore the guy, “If only your mother were here, we could have saved my motor bike!!” Neil, TheHandOfStone, MetalBuddah and 7 others like this. "Your picking hand scares me, Joseph" - My friend Pete "If you can't enjoy one Meshuggah riff looped for three hours straight, you're doing it wrong." -prh "Having technical prowess is like masturbation: it's pretty cool and it might please you, but there is still no emotional connection between you and your hands." - broj15

07-08-2012, 02:24 AM	#368
tuneinrecords ss.org Regular Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: new jersey Posts: 366 Thanked: 5 Feedback Score: 0 reviews	So here's a good line when you're at the gym and there's a hot girl working out. You need to break the ice... You walk up to her - You - "So you like fitness?" Girl - "Yeah I love fitness!" You - "How 'bout fitness dick in your mouth?" ALSO - the only other joke I could ever remember - How do you get a nun pregnant? .... her. vampiregenocide and MetalBuddah like this.

07-08-2012, 02:45 AM	#369
flexkill -low Slung Outlaw- Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Nashville, USA Posts: 1,741 Thanked: 28 Feedback Score: 5 reviews	So i was doing this girl up the butt in a clown suit last night and she said, "a clown suit? isn't that a bit austentatious?" And I said, "austentatious, isn't that a big word for an 8 year old?" MetalBuddah likes this. EPIC! "If you ask your girlfriend where she wants to eat and she says "I don't care," what she's actually saying is "Guess. You will be graded." -Grand Moff Tim

07-08-2012, 02:48 AM	#370
Loxodrome Prog metal Furry! Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: Coffs Harbour, N.S.W, Australia Posts: 1,227 Thanked: 20 Feedback Score: 0 reviews	(´･ω･`) Get it? Mprinsje and Gothic Headhunter like this.

07-08-2012, 08:15 AM	#372
Loxodrome Prog metal Furry! Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: Coffs Harbour, N.S.W, Australia Posts: 1,227 Thanked: 20 Feedback Score: 0 reviews	Fat girls are like farts. Yeah, sure, I do them. But if someone asks me if I did, I always deny it. flexkill likes this.

07-09-2012, 08:03 AM	#373
TaylorMacPhail Heisenberg Join Date: May 2011 Location: New Dominion, PE, Canada Posts: 298 Thanked: 0 Feedback Score: 0 reviews	A seal walks into a club. Personal soundcloud: http://soundcloud.com/WorstCaseOntario

07-10-2012, 09:07 PM	#375
mcleanab Theta Sagan Swords Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: Boston Posts: 719 Thanked: 9 Feedback Score: 2 reviews	So... Three rats are hanging out and want to know who is the toughest of them all... First one says, "You want to know how tough I am? Watch this..." He walks over to the mouse trap, kicks the cheese away and catches the bar as it swings down on him and begins doing bench presses with it. The second one says, "That's pretty good... but watch this..." He scoops up a bunch of rat poison, dumps it in his coffee, and sucks it down. Just hangs out and smiles at the other two. The third rat starts to walk away. The other two call out after him, "Where are you going?" Third rat says, "I'm off to .... the cat." AxeHappy, BlackMastodon, Zeno and 1 others like this. ========================================= ISP Theta Preamp, ISP Theta Combo!!! Rocktron Xpression, Lexicon MPX500, Aria Diamonds with EMG 85, Ibanez Semi-Hollow with EMG HA and HAX, Eminence Swamp Thang and Eminence Sub Woofer!

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