I forgot to lock the door....

shredguitar7 · 08-08-2011, 08:11 PM

so, i work at a hospital, and i always lock the door when i go to the bathroom. well today, i was taking a massive indian food dump, and right at the climax, this really hot nurse walks in without knocking first to see my dick and balls and smell the worlds most horrendous dookie ever. and to make it worse, when the door opened all i could think to say was, SHITTING !! furthermore, why dont people knock anymore. i was tought to always knock reguardless. it kind of bugs me to see people just grab a handle and try to open a door without knocking. manners dont seem to be necesarry this day in age. if this isnt off topic then i dont know what is. hope it was an interesting read..

now everytime that nurse sees me, all she will think is, "SHITTING - tiny dick and balls, omg you stink "

Murdstone · 08-08-2011, 08:12 PM

I'll put it to you this way, if she's still interested after this you know you've found the one. Keep your chin up and the door locked.

SirMyghin · 08-08-2011, 08:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Murdstone

I'll put it to you this way, if she's still interested after this you know you've found the one. Keep your chin up and the door locked.

shredguitar7 · 08-08-2011, 08:16 PM

its not even that i like the girl or anything, i have a 33 year old cougar. so im good their, but it just sucked. i always ALWAYS lock the door. and the one time i forget.

Mordacain · 08-08-2011, 08:18 PM

Funniest shit I've read in awhile. Thanks man! Really perked up my day there

ScrotieMcBoogerballs · 08-08-2011, 08:21 PM

I lost my figurative shit at "SHITTING!".

Antimatter · 08-08-2011, 08:22 PM

Someone actually using the word 'dookie' is what did it for me.

shredguitar7 · 08-08-2011, 08:24 PM

glad i could be of assistance.. ill be here all week folks...

metal_sam14 · 08-08-2011, 08:33 PM

I hate to laugh at your misfortune brother but my god is that funny

Sephael · 08-08-2011, 08:46 PM

seriously as a nursing student I can tell you she seen worse and probably had her hand in it too.

shredguitar7 · 08-08-2011, 08:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sephael

seriously as a nursing student I can tell you she seen worse and probably had her hand in it too.

yea, i agree. i work in transport and i see some nasty shit just doing that..

Blind Theory · 08-08-2011, 08:56 PM

I have this scene in my head where I walk in a bathroom and hear Charlie Sheen saying "SHITTING!" to me

Man is that winning (did you see what I did there?!?!)

JamesM · 08-08-2011, 09:25 PM

Sorry about the tiny dick and balls, mate.

shredguitar7 · 08-08-2011, 09:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Armada

Sorry about the tiny dick and balls, mate.

3 inches is pretty big to a midgit..

JamesM · 08-08-2011, 10:26 PM

You show that midget how us big men do it.

Grand Moff Tim · 08-08-2011, 10:30 PM

How were you sitting on the john that she was able to see your cock and balls when she walked in? Were you planking ass-down or something?

JamesM · 08-08-2011, 10:36 PM

^They're tiny, man.

MFB · 08-08-2011, 10:56 PM

I must be weird then, because whenever I sit on the toilet shitting, I let my arms just sit on my legs which covers my shit; despite their immense size and all.

JamesM · 08-08-2011, 11:20 PM

I sit similarly. I've been told I sit on the toilet very effeminately, actually.

Only way to keep my johnson out of the water.

Thep · 08-08-2011, 11:20 PM

I say that makes a nice conversational starter with her.

BigPhi84 · 08-08-2011, 11:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MFB

I must be weird then, because whenever I sit on the toilet shitting, I let my arms just sit on my legs which covers my shit; despite their immense size and all.

Maybe it's one of those closet-sized bathrooms where the door is directly in front of the toilet, giving a front row seat to all spectators!

JamesM · 08-08-2011, 11:44 PM

Or maybe he shits standing up. Chick was probably mortified.

Grand Moff Tim · 08-08-2011, 11:45 PM

Maybe he drops dooks with his knees pulled up behind his ears, precariously pearched on the seat.

Gamma362 · 08-08-2011, 11:48 PM

This thread has given me some good laughs. Its not nice to laugh at your misfortune, but its too funny not to

BigPhi84 · 08-08-2011, 11:50 PM

Wow, I'm surprised that this thread isn't closed yet.

Back on topic:

8=>

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08-08-2011, 08:11 PM	#1
shredguitar7 SS.org Regular Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: New York Posts: 686 Thanked: 34 Feedback Score: 0 reviews	I forgot to lock the door.... so, i work at a hospital, and i always lock the door when i go to the bathroom. well today, i was taking a massive indian food dump, and right at the climax, this really hot nurse walks in without knocking first to see my dick and balls and smell the worlds most horrendous dookie ever. and to make it worse, when the door opened all i could think to say was, SHITTING !! furthermore, why dont people knock anymore. i was tought to always knock reguardless. it kind of bugs me to see people just grab a handle and try to open a door without knocking. manners dont seem to be necesarry this day in age. if this isnt off topic then i dont know what is. hope it was an interesting read.. now everytime that nurse sees me, all she will think is, "SHITTING - tiny dick and balls, omg you stink " moshwitz, BigPhi84, Customisbetter and 4 others like this. Once more into the fray Into the last good fight i'll ever know Live and die on this day Live and die on this day

08-08-2011, 08:12 PM	#2
Murdstone C34H47NO11 Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: State College, PA Posts: 848 Thanked: 8 Feedback Score: 0 reviews	I'll put it to you this way, if she's still interested after this you know you've found the one. Keep your chin up and the door locked. leandroab, BigPhi84, highlordmugfug and 11 others like this.

08-08-2011, 08:16 PM	#4
shredguitar7 SS.org Regular Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: New York Posts: 686 Thanked: 34 Feedback Score: 0 reviews	its not even that i like the girl or anything, i have a 33 year old cougar. so im good their, but it just sucked. i always ALWAYS lock the door. and the one time i forget. Once more into the fray Into the last good fight i'll ever know Live and die on this day Live and die on this day

08-08-2011, 08:18 PM	#5
Mordacain Rockin' the Quad! Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Lexington, SC Posts: 4,148 Thanked: 38 Feedback Score: 28 reviews	Funniest shit I've read in awhile. Thanks man! Really perked up my day there Currently in progress of replacing every guitar I have...piece by piece - "Unfortunately, our ability for rational thinking is inversely proportionate to our desire to stick our dicks into orifices." - pink freud - "I don't have all the answers to everything, I'm not God, when I get girls pregnant they aren't virgins anymore." - scottro202

Today
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08-08-2011, 08:21 PM	#6
ScrotieMcBoogerballs Bringer of Storms Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Vancouver Island, BC. Posts: 192 Thanked: 13 Feedback Score: 0 reviews	I lost my figurative shit at "SHITTING!". Origin, BigPhi84, Infamous Impact and 3 others like this.

08-08-2011, 08:22 PM	#7
Antimatter Not Like Matter Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Senoia, GA Posts: 850 Thanked: 5 / 1 Feedback Score: 0 reviews	Someone actually using the word 'dookie' is what did it for me. leandroab, BigPhi84 and Infamous Impact like this. Woah! It's Billy's Legendary Crack!

08-08-2011, 08:24 PM	#8
shredguitar7 SS.org Regular Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: New York Posts: 686 Thanked: 34 Feedback Score: 0 reviews	glad i could be of assistance.. ill be here all week folks... Once more into the fray Into the last good fight i'll ever know Live and die on this day Live and die on this day

08-08-2011, 08:33 PM	#9
metal_sam14 Tard Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Launceston, Tasmania Posts: 3,105 Thanked: 48 Feedback Score: 1 reviews	I hate to laugh at your misfortune brother but my god is that funny Check out my solo stuff: http://samlocke.bandcamp.com Australian Instrumental Prog!

08-08-2011, 08:46 PM	#10
Sephael Divine Paradøx Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Ky Posts: 1,679 Thanked: 13 Feedback Score: 1 reviews	seriously as a nursing student I can tell you she seen worse and probably had her hand in it too. BigPhi84 likes this.

08-08-2011, 08:56 PM	#12
Blind Theory SS.org Regular Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: United States Posts: 718 Thanked: 14 Feedback Score: 0 reviews	I have this scene in my head where I walk in a bathroom and hear Charlie Sheen saying "SHITTING!" to me Man is that winning (did you see what I did there?!?!)

08-08-2011, 09:25 PM	#13
JamesM The Armada Join Date: May 2010 Location: St. Louis, MO Posts: 6,925 Thanked: 87 Feedback Score: 5 reviews	Sorry about the tiny dick and balls, mate. Thep, HighGain510, Guitarmiester and 9 others like this. Cloudyhead. Facebook//Twitter//Bandcamp Watch:1,2,3,4,5 Debut Album, Abstraction out now!

08-08-2011, 10:26 PM	#15
JamesM The Armada Join Date: May 2010 Location: St. Louis, MO Posts: 6,925 Thanked: 87 Feedback Score: 5 reviews	You show that midget how us big men do it. HighGain510, BigPhi84, highlordmugfug and 2 others like this. Cloudyhead. Facebook//Twitter//Bandcamp Watch:1,2,3,4,5 Debut Album, Abstraction out now!

08-08-2011, 10:30 PM	#16
Grand Moff Tim Some call me... Tim Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Cheongju, SK Posts: 3,679 Thanked: 65 Feedback Score: 0 reviews	How were you sitting on the john that she was able to see your cock and balls when she walked in? Were you planking ass-down or something? BigPhi84, Gyro, Infamous Impact and 2 others like this.

08-08-2011, 10:36 PM	#17
JamesM The Armada Join Date: May 2010 Location: St. Louis, MO Posts: 6,925 Thanked: 87 Feedback Score: 5 reviews	^They're tiny, man. Cloudyhead. Facebook//Twitter//Bandcamp Watch:1,2,3,4,5 Debut Album, Abstraction out now!

08-08-2011, 10:56 PM	#18
MFB I'M A MONSTER! Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Boston, MA Posts: 7,455 Thanked: 84 Feedback Score: 13 reviews	I must be weird then, because whenever I sit on the toilet shitting, I let my arms just sit on my legs which covers my shit; despite their immense size and all. (´･ω･`) *In space, no one can hear you bree.* - Metal Ken

08-08-2011, 11:20 PM	#19
JamesM The Armada Join Date: May 2010 Location: St. Louis, MO Posts: 6,925 Thanked: 87 Feedback Score: 5 reviews	I sit similarly. I've been told I sit on the toilet very effeminately, actually. Only way to keep my johnson out of the water. Cabinet likes this. Cloudyhead. Facebook//Twitter//Bandcamp Watch:1,2,3,4,5 Debut Album, Abstraction out now!

08-08-2011, 11:20 PM	#20
Thep Blast & Sweep Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Dallas, Texas Posts: 1,697 Thanked: 29 Feedback Score: 13 reviews	I say that makes a nice conversational starter with her.

08-08-2011, 11:44 PM	#22
JamesM The Armada Join Date: May 2010 Location: St. Louis, MO Posts: 6,925 Thanked: 87 Feedback Score: 5 reviews	Or maybe he shits standing up. Chick was probably mortified. Guitarmiester likes this. Cloudyhead. Facebook//Twitter//Bandcamp Watch:1,2,3,4,5 Debut Album, Abstraction out now!

08-08-2011, 11:45 PM	#23
Grand Moff Tim Some call me... Tim Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Cheongju, SK Posts: 3,679 Thanked: 65 Feedback Score: 0 reviews	Maybe he drops dooks with his knees pulled up behind his ears, precariously pearched on the seat. JamesM likes this.

08-08-2011, 11:48 PM	#24
Gamma362 Loomis Fanboy Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Wethersfield, CT Posts: 284 Thanked: 2 Feedback Score: 0 reviews	This thread has given me some good laughs. Its not nice to laugh at your misfortune, but its too funny not to BigPhi84 and Dan_Vacant like this.

08-08-2011, 11:50 PM	#25
BigPhi84 Pronounced "FEE" Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Ga Posts: 3,974 Thanked: 39 Feedback Score: 3 reviews	Wow, I'm surprised that this thread isn't closed yet. Back on topic: 8=> leandroab and Nonservium like this. Self-appointed member of the Sevenstring.org Welcoming Committee (alongside Bloody_Inferno, Zealous, Shawn, Apophis, AliceAxe, M3CHKILLA, Fred the Shred, Explorer, and Sebastian) ROFL My Policy: If you make me laugh in a post or offer something interesting/thought-provoking, you get Rep +1. Pretty simple, right? Waiting now for incoming barrage of funny jokes.

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