Interesting work stories.

[GuitaristOfHell]

Interesting work story for you all. Some old lady wanted a 50 lbs bag of bird seed so I get it and carry it out to her car... halfway out in the parking lot she says " oh no where did I park?" I'm thinking to myself you've got to be shitting me . Took us 3 minutes or so find her car. For the record I did not drop the 50 pound bag. Any of you guys have this happen?

[Auyard]

Yep. I used to be a bagger in a grocery store and this same lady came in every saturday in the morning. She would shop at the Dollar General three stores over put her stuff in her car and then take a smoke broke right in front of our door to recoup. Then she would shop in our store and get her groceries (and i swear she spent more money on cat food than anything else). Then she she would make the cashier page one of use to bag her stuff for her and she would dictate what would go into what bag. After that I would have to help her to take her groceries to her car, AFTER another smoke break right in front of the ....ing door. As I'm putting her shit into the car she's ....ing rearranging it from the other door for no reason. This happened every Saturday. I eventually just hid in the ice cream freezer every time she came in.

This has been bothering me for forever.

[Customisbetter]

The guy I replaced was carrying a cart of huge CRT monitors across the campus. One of them fell of the cart and shattered. HE was so pissed off that he purposefully launched another CRT off the cart.

Needless to say he didn't last long after that.

[jeremyb]

I worked with a guy who could clear the office with a fart, we honestly had to all leave and stand in the carpark one time it was so bad!

When I was a student I worked in a warehouse, in winter we'd go into the big freezers to warm up!

[aslsmm]

i take care of old people at my job. it's an adult foster care home. any way we have this one lady who hate to changer her poopy underware. needless to say it stinks really bad around her. also it would be against the law for us to force her to changer her underware if she didn't want to. so every saturday i have to give her a shower. well im pretty good at annoying the residents till they do what i want. the things i want are them to shower and changer their shitty underware. so she finally got mad at me and said
"fine i'll take a damn shower". so we went to the bath room and i turned around to get a towel and she took her diaper off and threw it at the door and it blew up. piss gelitan and poop flew every were.


so i made her eat it..... not really but i wanted to.

[Customisbetter]

Originally Posted by aslsmm

so i made her eat it..... not really but i wanted to.

[SirMyghin]

Originally Posted by GuitaristOfHell

Interesting work story for you all. Some old lady wanted a 50 lbs bag of bird seed so I get it and carry it out to her car... halfway out in the parking lot she says " oh no where did I park?" I'm thinking to myself you've got to be shitting me . Took us 3 minutes or so find her car. For the record I did not drop the 50 pound bag. Any of you guys have this happen?

I recommend grabbing one of those in each hand and running laps in the parking lot, it will make a man out of you . (Seriously, I love farmers walks)

One of my best work stories was the scaffolding getting jammed (15", single wide aluminum, fairly light stuff) and the wheel would not lock down. As I was dinkering with it, the boss decided to test it to see if it was locked yet.... I wore and held up the scaffolding across my back as the other coworker was busy running out of the way. I believe my response was something akin to, you guys going to stand this back up? Fortunately no damage was done to me.

[aslsmm]

^^ haha, i use to do insullation we used aluminum scaffolding there too. what do you do?

[groph]

Oh yeah. Let's recount the best day ever working as a cart guy, the REAL bottom of the food chain at the grocery store I worked at, .... what the kids working cash say. "OH FML I HAVE TO STAND FOR 5 HOURS"

One day, one blazing hot summer day, I was working a 1:30-5:30 shift (you only get 4 and 5 hour shifts working at this place), going about my miserable tedium of taking loads of carts in (crack all the semen jokes you want, I've already made them all up and applied them to myself, all over myself. Don't you worry. I can take loads with the champs and cum back asking for more.) and putting them in the corral in the store, minding my business when I see a couple of dolts waltzing about in the parking lot wearing orange reflective vests like me, fumbling with some carts.

"Oh great, a couple of retards decided they'd be funny and push some carts around and be a pain in my ass" I thought. It turns out they were volunteers, so they were getting paid slightly less than I was.

One of them says to me "Hey, this cart's broke!", pointing to a cart which had gone outside of the boundaries of the parking lot, therefore locking up one of the front wheels. He dragged the ....ing thing right in the middle of a lane so rather than explain to him the intricacies of his stupidity I went inside and got the unlocking doohickie and dealt with the cart. A few minutes later I see a row of carts extending 10 feet outside of a corral into a lane, where cars inevitably would be trying to pass by. I roll my eyes and walk over to see if these two morons are inside. Indeed they are. One of them says "27 carts!"

"There's no ....ing way you can take 27 carts up the hill. You won't even be able to turn them out of this corral, let alone be able to turn them at all. You're not taking 27 carts inside." I took the front half of their stack away and pushed it in. The most I've ever taken at once was 14 I think, and that is harder than .... to turn due to the massive weight and the non steerable back wheels. On my first day I could barely manage 7 carts without them all falling apart on me. There was no way these two noobs were going to take 27. I wasn't laughing at them, I was thoroughly pissed off and was in no mood to joke around with them. They eventually came running back inside to report a fire in the parking lot. I guess they were ....ing around with some garbage and ended up setting it on fire but it was only a few pieces of paper so it was nothing serious. I kind of hoped they'd die in it. All they did was slow me down with their tomfoolery. I hated being the dickwad at work, but with shitty work like that, everybody on shift has to pull their weight or else one guy has to work three times as hard and get nagged at three times as much.

One day a new guy came on and he apparently knew the other guy who was on shift with me, so there were three of us working. He and his friend basically spent the entire time lounging in corrals doing jack shit. I routinely had to walk past them eyeing them down with a death stare to make them do anything. Rather than talk to them I immediately resorted to intimidation. That's how mentally stagnating that job was.

[leftyguitarjoe]

I've got a couple.

When I worked at a liquor store, we would try a few micro brews every now and then. Any by that, I mean every day . One day, we got a huge shipment of a million different fall seasonals. It was just me and one other co-worker there whom I had known since elementary school. We decided it was time for an epic octoberfest tasting. Not just Octoberfest-marzen styled beers, but many fall themes beers such as pumpkin beer and some nice porters and stouts. By the end of the shift, we each had tried 15 different beers. And by tried, I mean drank. Alot of these were "imperial" beers, meaning they had a fairly high abv percentage. We were TRASHED, but managed to leave without the boss suspecting us. I live right near the store, so we stumbled to my house for the night. It was awesome.

I currently work at Rite-Aid's biggest warehouse. As some of you may know, Rite-Aid is a pharmacy/general store. I work in inbound, but on unfortunate days, I have to go to trailer stripping, a.k.a. strip dock. Strip dock is a horrible place. You clean out trailers that are returning from delivery from the stores. Due to HIPAA laws, any prescription information, if shared, will land you a felony. While I was there to help, we got a 53' trailer in FULL OF PRESCRIPTION SLIPS, PILL BOTTLES, AND PILLS. Upon opening the door, I was quite literally caught in an avalanche of narcotic-grade medication and pieces of paper that if I lost, I could go to jail for. Fun!!

[SirMyghin]

Originally Posted by aslsmm

^^ haha, i use to do insullation we used aluminum scaffolding there too. what do you do?

I was working for my university as an undergrad in the summers. With the scaffolding I was changing lights in the lecture halls.

[GuitaristOfHell]

These are all very interesting. I hope I don't have any customers that come to annoy me every Satuday haha.

[The Munk]

I had a couple of interesting phone calls while working for a large retail musical instrument company.

I got a call from someone asking if we carried vocal tuners. (This was before Auto-tune)
I told him it was called an ear.


Got a call one day from a guy asking if we carried any guitars made out of morning wood.

[xiphoscesar]

one time i was cleaning up tables and i have big stretched lobes

and some guy in his late 60s stops me and looks at them

hes like "oh god, back in the day in vietnam, if one wanted holes in his ear, we would line up the barrel of our rifles with his lobes and shoot"

[ghstofperdition]

Awesome, I was considering making a thread like this, so I didn't spam up your other job thread.

Another Jack in the box story:

'Ok so you guys are aware of those cross-streets I gave in my last job story right? Well I decided to work christmas day since I couldn't go see my family, my roommate was visiting HIS family in Michigan, and thus was alone on christmas. (boo-hoo right?)
I figured I didn't wanna stay at home and do nothing on christmas, and I could use the time and a half (or double time if I did overtime) so I put my name on the list to work that day. Dumbest thing I ever did, but I was laughing my ass off by the end of it.

I'm supposed to work from 2-8 and go home. We had a crew of 4 people by 8 (including me) and we had cars lined up from the drive-thru, out around the store, down McKinney street, and down 9th street. I kid you not. And each order was about $30-50 each car. They were literally cleaning out the store.

So when I was about to clock out, the crew looks at me with rage eyes, so instead of punching out, I stay to help. I get put on drive thru while my shift leader runs the fryer. There's this drunk hispanic guy that rolls in at 10pm, drunk off his ass. He orders the following:

-15 Jumbo Jacks
-10 Large Drinks
-10 Large fries
-5 Curly fries
-5 Onion rings
-5 Jalapeno Poppers
-3 Chocolate Shakes

So after he spends that week's paycheck on a single fast food order, I ask him to park his car while we get his order ready. Needless to say, this ruined what decent speed of service count we had (it times how fast we complete orders. The better we do, the more rewards we get like free food, bobble head jacks, etc.)

While dealing with another large order, the other crew somehow completes that guys order in like 10 minutes, and I have to go take it out to him.

Instead of just driving off with the food and being done, the man makes me go through each item, one at a time to make sure we got everything he asked for. So there's another 5 minutes lost on this jackass. Knowing that he is completely to plastered to drive, I say to him "Merry Christmas sir. Please have a safe drive home." And with those words he backs into a light post in the parking lot and ruins the back end of his F-150.

I got what I wished for that christmas.'

[leftyguitarjoe]

Originally Posted by ghstofperdition

I got what I wished for that christmas.'

YES!!!

[ghstofperdition]

Originally Posted by xiphoscesar

one time i was cleaning up tables and i have big stretched lobes

and some guy in his late 60s stops me and looks at them

hes like "oh god, back in the day in vietnam, if one wanted holes in his ear, we would line up the barrel of our rifles with his lobes and shoot"

I would've replied:

"Yeah and back in MY day, we'd have made sure that every person that served in 'Nam is now homeless, poor and hated. Speaking of which, how the hell are you even gonna be able to pay for this meal?"


Oh and I loved when I working drive-thru @ jack in the crack during the weekend graveyard shift, and all the drunks would roll through and offer me entire cases of corona and budweiser. Naturally with the camera in the drive-thru, I'd have to decline, but when you bribe your shift leader with 2 of those beers, this can be remedied by having them leave it by the dumpsters and then "take out the trash".....

[GuitaristOfHell]

Originally Posted by ghstofperdition

Awesome, I was considering making a thread like this, so I didn't spam up your other job thread.

Another Jack in the box story:

'Ok so you guys are aware of those cross-streets I gave in my last job story right? Well I decided to work christmas day since I couldn't go see my family, my roommate was visiting HIS family in Michigan, and thus was alone on christmas. (boo-hoo right?)
I figured I didn't wanna stay at home and do nothing on christmas, and I could use the time and a half (or double time if I did overtime) so I put my name on the list to work that day. Dumbest thing I ever did, but I was laughing my ass off by the end of it.

I'm supposed to work from 2-8 and go home. We had a crew of 4 people by 8 (including me) and we had cars lined up from the drive-thru, out around the store, down McKinney street, and down 9th street. I kid you not. And each order was about $30-50 each car. They were literally cleaning out the store.

So when I was about to clock out, the crew looks at me with rage eyes, so instead of punching out, I stay to help. I get put on drive thru while my shift leader runs the fryer. There's this drunk hispanic guy that rolls in at 10pm, drunk off his ass. He orders the following:

-15 Jumbo Jacks
-10 Large Drinks
-10 Large fries
-5 Curly fries
-5 Onion rings
-5 Jalapeno Poppers
-3 Chocolate Shakes

So after he spends that week's paycheck on a single fast food order, I ask him to park his car while we get his order ready. Needless to say, this ruined what decent speed of service count we had (it times how fast we complete orders. The better we do, the more rewards we get like free food, bobble head jacks, etc.)

While dealing with another large order, the other crew somehow completes that guys order in like 10 minutes, and I have to go take it out to him.

Instead of just driving off with the food and being done, the man makes me go through each item, one at a time to make sure we got everything he asked for. So there's another 5 minutes lost on this jackass. Knowing that he is completely to plastered to drive, I say to him "Merry Christmas sir. Please have a safe drive home." And with those words he backs into a light post in the parking lot and ruins the back end of his F-150.

I got what I wished for that christmas.'

NICE!

[matty2fatty]

Here are some of mine:

- working cash at a gas station, guy buys a bottle of aspirin, a tooth brush, and a box of condoms. I really wanted to ask him what he had planned for the night

-smashed into a bay door with a snow plow, then fixed it with a hammer and crowbar before my shift was over and no one noticed

-cashed a big cheque for a guy while working at a bank. Asked why it was so big, and he pulls a bloody/bandaged stump out from under the counter. Lost all his fingers in a chainsaw accident and that was his compensation

-Still at the bank: Old guy commenting on the weather 'I can tell when its going to rain, makes my knees hurt. And my cancer'

-bank again: A middle aged woman asked if I had a girlfriend. I said no. She turns to her maybe 14 year old daughter and says 'see? this is the kind of man you want!'

-factory job - was lifting up a bunch of shit with a forklift and wasn't watching the top of the load. I destroyed a 1" water line, causing it to rain down hot, stinking water over the top of a million dollar machine. The machine was fine, and someone somewhere else in the plant had destroyed something more expensive with another lift at the same time so I got off scot free.

-I once threw $300 cash in the garbage and had to dig through the dumpster the next day to find it. The boss knew where it was because he watched me do it on the security camera.

-cashed a cheque for $6000, gave the guy his money, and the cheque back. I had to harass him on the phone for a week to get him to bring the cheque back

I've surprisingly never been fired from a job either. I guess my other skills make up for my carelessness. Thankfully I now have a real-person job so my most exciting story is 'someone drank all the coffee'

[leandroab]

Originally Posted by matty2fatty

Here are some of mine:

- working cash at a gas station, guy buys a bottle of aspirin, a tooth brush, and a box of condoms. I really wanted to ask him what he had planned for the night

-smashed into a bay door with a snow plow, then fixed it with a hammer and crowbar before my shift was over and no one noticed

-cashed a big cheque for a guy while working at a bank. Asked why it was so big, and he pulls a bloody/bandaged stump out from under the counter. Lost all his fingers in a chainsaw accident and that was his compensation

-Still at the bank: Old guy commenting on the weather 'I can tell when its going to rain, makes my knees hurt. And my cancer'

-bank again: A middle aged woman asked if I had a girlfriend. I said no. She turns to her maybe 14 year old daughter and says 'see? this is the kind of man you want!'

-factory job - was lifting up a bunch of shit with a forklift and wasn't watching the top of the load. I destroyed a 1" water line, causing it to rain down hot, stinking water over the top of a million dollar machine. The machine was fine, and someone somewhere else in the plant had destroyed something more expensive with another lift at the same time so I got off scot free.

-I once threw $300 cash in the garbage and had to dig through the dumpster the next day to find it. The boss knew where it was because he watched me do it on the security camera.

-cashed a cheque for $6000, gave the guy his money, and the cheque back. I had to harass him on the phone for a week to get him to bring the cheque back

I've surprisingly never been fired from a job either. I guess my other skills make up for my carelessness. Thankfully I now have a real-person job so my most exciting story is 'someone drank all the coffee'

[josh pelican]

When I was part of management for Petcetera I had a woman blow up on me because something wasn't in stock.

Woman: You guys never have any products I want in stock! I refuse to buy this gourmet cat foot anymore from you!
Me: Ma'am, that food is $1.25 a can. I can't see us suffering from not selling one can.
Woman: You just lost youorself a customer!
Me: Have a lovely day.

I had basic conversations like this several times a day. After my buddy (he is registered here as FearFrost) and I became part of management, business went through the roof. After him and I quit, the store started getting shittier and shittier, then filed for bankruptcy. They are opened again but I don't think business is as good.

Coincidence? That's up for you to decide.

We were the last two original employees from before the store even opened in our location. When we were hired, the store was empty inside. We ran that shit from day one.

[Goatchrist]

Thankfully I now have a real-person job so my most exciting story is 'someone drank all the coffee'

That's exactly how I feel.

This really is a funny thread.

[Richie666]

When I was really young I worked at the most popular liquor store in my home town, and since I was too young to really handle any of the booze officially, I was stationed as the empty bottle sorter. Since it was in the back, we would distract ourselves from the foul work by blasting metal. This one day I was listening to Oh My ....ing God! by Strapping Young Lad, when a docile, little old lady, hobbled in returning something. There's a line that in the song that stops the music and demands "GET DOWN THERE AND SUCK MY BUDDYS COCK!" So naturally I made a mad dash to the stereo and dove an Olympian dive to hit stop before the line was uttered.

Man I found some vile stuff working that job. birth control pills, a shuriken haha.

[avenger]

Originally Posted by Richie666

When I was really young I worked at the most popular liquor store in my home town, and since I was too young to really handle any of the booze officially, I was stationed as the empty bottle sorter. Since it was in the back, we would distract ourselves from the foul work by blasting metal. This one day I was listening to Oh My ....ing God! by Strapping Young Lad, when a docile, little old lady, hobbled in returning something. There's a line that in the song that stops the music and demands "GET DOWN THERE AND SUCK MY BUDDYS COCK!" So naturally I made a mad dash to the stereo and dove an Olympian dive to hit stop before the line was uttered.

Man I found some vile stuff working that job. birth control pills, a shuriken haha.

Birth Control Pills are not vile! They are science's gift to men.

[Richie666]

Haha, very true. But not in a cesspool of what I hope was old beer