SS Love and Relationships Thread

[Skyblue]

I introduced my gf to one of my best friends, and now it feels like they're getting slightly too close, to the point where it's getting weird. I don't doubt her for a second, and I don't think he'll try to pull any move of any sort, but it's still weird... I really don't want to tell either of them not to see each other or something like that.

I feel like crap right now...

[flint757]

As long as things don't go beyond flirting I'd say let it be. You don't want to be THAT guy if you know what I mean. Saying something will only have negative repercussions. (usually)

[Faine]

Yeah girls and best friends hate that mistrust. Girls especially

[JStraitiff]

Originally Posted by glassmoon0fo

^word. I think your best bet is to make her work to keep YOU for a change. Women dont value any man that's too easy to keep, so maybe make yourself unavailable every now and then, and if she wants your attention she'll work to keep it. If she doesn't, well there's your indicator right there. I only even say this because I was in a similar situation, and did everything I could to "earn and deserve" this gorgeous, awesome girl, and she didn't give a shit, ....ed a drummer within two weeks anyway. As soon as i nutted up and started ignoring her texts and doing my own thing, she gets interested. So did her best friend. Guess how that turned out

Just never attach too much meaning to ONE girl who may or may not feel the same about you, real lasting affection is always mutual, the one-sided kind never serves your interestes. I hope it works out for you dawg!

I agree with that. She responds similarly. Sometimes she gets too used to having me around and starts to take me for granted. This girl has some growing up to do still but shes coming along. I do my best to be there for her but im trying to keep some distance this time around. Sometimes its as easy as not responding to a few texts.

Anyway im pretty stressed over the whole thing at the moment. I want it to work out. Ive written two songs for her in the last 2 days.. lol. We were supposed to hang out tomorrow but then we both realized its mothers day. So i guess thats getting put off for a bit. Probably for the best anyway cause i cant execute the songs live yet and have minimal lyrics. I love being a musician. No better way to make a girl feel loved than with a song

[Pav]

Quick question for you guys...I have eyes for a girl. Already asked her out, she's already said yes. The problem is that we both work - a LOT - and it's been tough to match up our schedules and find a time to actually get together for the first time. Asking her out on Mother's Day: bad idea? Just by looking at that in text it seems like an obviously stupid thing to try, but it's been nearly a week and I'm getting impatient to get things going with this girl.

[flint757]

Suppose that depends on if either of you have plans. If not I don't see why it's be odd.

[Pav]

That's the problem. I'm not doing anything, but for all I know she could be spending the day at a mother's day festival or some shit. I guess for some reason I'm hesitant to even try asking...because of some pseudo-holiday. But I'm even more hesitant to put it off any longer.

[JStraitiff]

Originally Posted by Pav

Quick question for you guys...I have eyes for a girl. Already asked her out, she's already said yes. The problem is that we both work - a LOT - and it's been tough to match up our schedules and find a time to actually get together for the first time. Asking her out on Mother's Day: bad idea? Just by looking at that in text it seems like an obviously stupid thing to try, but it's been nearly a week and I'm getting impatient to get things going with this girl.

Im in the same boat as you, man. I had plans for sunday but then we both realized it was mothers day so now im gonna have to wait a week. It sucks cause now we get to sit and stress like crazy until another time lines up lol.

[Pav]

Originally Posted by JStraitiff

Im in the same boat as you, man. I had plans for sunday but then we both realized it was mothers day so now im gonna have to wait a week. It sucks cause now we get to sit and stress like crazy until another time lines up lol.

Yeah this sucks hard. I asked her out a week ago, and since then, nothing. Aside from the occasional facebook bs. I just haven't had the chance and don't want to start things off by trying to squeeze her in, but now I'm starting to worry that I look like some pussy who wants to talk about it and not do anything about it.

[GhostsofAcid]

Originally Posted by Pav

Yeah this sucks hard. I asked her out a week ago, and since then, nothing. Aside from the occasional facebook bs. I just haven't had the chance and don't want to start things off by trying to squeeze her in, but now I'm starting to worry that I look like some pussy who wants to talk about it and not do anything about it.

I'm sure she understands that scheduling can be a bitch sometimes, I wouldn't stress out over it too much. Me and my gf wanted to do something today but with Mother's day we're both busy, its not a big deal, we just pushed our plans to later in the week.

Also irrelevant but I'm about two hours away from you

[Pav]

Originally Posted by GhostsofAcid

I'm sure she understands that scheduling can be a bitch sometimes, I wouldn't stress out over it too much. Me and my gf wanted to do something today but with Mother's day we're both busy, its not a big deal, we just pushed our plans to later in the week.

Also irrelevant but I'm about two hours away from you

Haha nice, whereabouts/what city you near?

I decided to say .... it. It's been a week and I've said and done nothing. I just asked her if she would want to get together tonight...the worst she can say is no, she's busy, and we'll put it off for later, right?

/holds breath

EDIT: Aaaaaaaaaand she's busy. That was painless, we'll just try again later this week. Sigh of relief.

[Sicarius]

So.... What'd I miss? Tim did you have a nice date with your lady nurse?

[Genome]

Originally Posted by Grand Moff Tim

I think some people have a mental/moral block that keeps them from cheating, and some people don't. If it's happened once, well... guess what.

Cheaters cheat, once a cheater always a cheater, yadda yadda yadda. Drop it like a hot potato, man. I dated a chick for a year and a half and I was totally crushed when I found out she cheated on me. Crushed as I was, though, I broke things off the day I found out, with no attempts to reconcile the relationship at all. Some lines just shouldn't be crossed, and anyone who disprespects you so much that they'll cheat flat out doesn't deserve to be with someone who won't. Simple as.

Not potentially.

I'm ashamed to say that I kissed another girl during an old relationship, the night I had just moved out of home and into university. I can safely say I will absolutely, never ever do anything like it again. It completely and utterly mentally wrecked me with guilt (and I deserved it, of course) - never again. Learned a big lesson that night.

Luckily she was forgiving enough to continue.

[flint757]

Ahhh but now we have to define cheating

That is a complicated can of worms...

[Metal_Webb]

Originally Posted by flint757

I'm not quite sure what your issue is man. Your english is kind of broken could you rephrase that maybe?

It's because they're a spammer. The broken picture link (copy the URL) leads to a website that gives you a cookie. There was a thread about it a little while back on site support or in off topic.

[Grand Moff Tim]

Originally Posted by Sicarius

So.... What'd I miss? Tim did you have a nice date with your lady nurse?

Next Tuesday, unless something else comes up at work again.

Knock on particle board.

[Konfyouzd]

If you need to define cheating chances are whatever you're discussing IS cheating and you just need confirmation from some other asshat that you are somehow not a douche.

[AngstRiddenDreams]

.

[Konfyouzd]

How old are you?

[iPotato12]

I chilled with my girlfriend on Mother's day, after spending the day with my mom, of course. I won my girlfriend a stuffed snake at some place, she always says she wants a snake, hah. Things went fine until her best friend stole her from me to go get frozen yogurt.

[Grand Moff Tim]

Originally Posted by iPotato12

I won my girlfriend a stuffed snake at some place, she always says she wants a snake, hah.

Man. Golden opportunity missed.

[flint757]

Originally Posted by Metal_Webb

It's because they're a spammer. The broken picture link (copy the URL) leads to a website that gives you a cookie. There was a thread about it a little while back on site support or in off topic.

Good to know

Originally Posted by Konfyouzd

If you need to define cheating chances are whatever you're discussing IS cheating and you just need confirmation from some other asshat that you are somehow not a douche.

Oh I totally agree I was being sassy when I said that. What you're saying is more or less how I feel bout it, but it isn't totally off mark some women think masturbation is cheating and I'm 100% certain in my own mind it isn't so there is a line, but where....

[glassmoon0fo]

Originally Posted by flint757

Good to know



Oh I totally agree I was being sassy when I said that. What you're saying is more or less how I feel bout it, but it isn't totally off mark some women think masturbation is cheating and I'm 100% certain in my own mind it isn't so there is a line, but where....

Trippin', bitches be.

[AcousticMinja]

Help...I'm getting cheated on and I KNOW it...yet, somehow, I manage to stick around...
I know this is long, but please, I really would like some advice. Here or PM doesn't matter to me.

Long story short (still rather longish) I've been on and off with this girl for 3-4 years. We've always seemed to somehow manage to get back to eachother after each and every time. She's cheated on me nearly every time we've broken up, though. Around last month, I was playing some xbox live with her, and she asked me to help make her a new email so she could make a new gold account (her computer is broken) so I do, she makes a new account, adds me, tells me to help her get achievements in CoD 2 (so I end up buying it so I can play with her on it), and etc. Cool, works out for a while. I get on every now and then and I started joining her games every now and then (I had no friends on there, I rarely played CoD). She got pissed at me and told me "DO YOU HAVE TO JOIN EVERY SINGLE ....ING GAME?" I told her I don't and I left that match. So, a few days later, she has "4-23-12<333" on her xbox. I ask her what that meant and she said "oh, it was a dumb make fun of 4/20 day thing my clan did since everyone has that on their profile". I couldn't help but feel a horrible feeling in the back of my mind, but I decided to shrug it off and let it go. A day or so passes, I get online, join one of her games and see that yet ANOTHER guy on there has 4-23-12 on his pro. Except, this time, it said <3 B 4/23/12 M <3 (her name starts with an M btw...)
That made my heart sink into my stomach, I had this HORRIBLE feeling and I tried to restrain myself, but I ended up asking the guy. He said nothing, but told my girlfriend, and she got EXTREMELY pissed off. Saying "YOU'RE YELLING AT THE WRONG GUY." I then found yet another guy who had 4/23/12<3 on his profile...his name started with a B. That guy I messaged was the clan leader...I found out that was just him showing his support for them or something...so I message that guy and just straight asked him I'm only looking for honesty and that I was wondering if they were dating. He doesn't reply either and tells her about it. We ended up breaking up. She comes back later and we talk it over, she says she wasn't cheating, and blah blah blah. Odd though, is that she told me she doesn't deserve me and that she hasn't been a very good girlfriend. Stupidly, I decided to go, "awe, it's okay, we all make mistakes, I just like you for you" or something like that and she told me that she loves me, and that I'm her "best friend ever". She then tells me that "I know I don't always show it and that I think I'm hot shit and I can get any guy, but you make me want to be a better person and no one has ever made me feel that way. since the first day we've met I've always had strong feelings for you and it hurts when I .... it up."
I literally wanted to cry, because I saw that as two things:

A. She wanted to change
B. She vaguely admitted the things she's done to me

She's always denied shit like that...whenever I would catch her cheating on me it was either "OH NO HE'S JUST MY EX" or "Oh, I don't know him. He's just some guy that keeps hitting on me" and then quickly changes the subject and would get mad if I pursued it any further.
Anyway, we got back together and she seemed very happy...
But then that horrific feeling came back... I could not shake it or get rid of it. It was eating at the back of my mind and no matter what I did, it would not subside.
I can't exactly remember the events that led up to this, because at this point, I was losing a ton of sleep over this and felt like I was becoming something I wasn't.
There was a guy who was messaging her and I back and forth ( I guess he knew us both on a previous account? ). He apparently messaged the guy I messaged previously and told him that he was being cheated on by her. I got a forwarded message from the guy who said he said something like "You, whoever you are, are pathetic. Her and I are happy and nothing you say can change that. The things you say are obviously a lie. I won't let her be 'controlled' by her EX boyfriend" Then another message saying something like "wanna know why? Because I won't let him. Just know that your "friend" has been replaced by someone far greater than he is. Don't bother replying, I'm blocking you. Good day to you."
After I read that, I literally became numb. I tried getting her to explain herself, but she was asleep. I sent a few text messages asking why that was sent to me and the next day she calls me freaking out and tells me that it was basically a lie and that she told people to say stupid things to that guy if he ends up messaging him. The idiot side of me felt okay, so we talked for a few hours, got over it and were fine. The next few days were great...she talked to me (and btw, she would ignore me for a bit, just so you know...unless she wanted me to buy her microsoft points) often and we talked about going on a road trip together to San Francisco for her 22nd. I started saving money, planning, etc. She told me I should try to find out who that guy is that messaged us, so I send him a couple messages trying to be his friend and stuff...he never told me his name, but I was trying to get it out of him.
I get a message later on in the day saying that he's not going to tell the truth unless she tells the truth to me and that other guy she's supposedly with. He said that there's overwhelming evidence to show that we're being cheated on.
Then I started feeling a bit...weird. Not normal at all. I tried pushing that feeling away and whatnot. Today, I looked on Facebook and on my people you may know thing, a weirdly familiar face showed up...with a name to sort of match. I click on that profile and low and behold, it's that guy I thought she cheated on me with. His latest post said something about his ex, and that he was now in a "happy relationship with someone else" and mentioned something abut xbox and the like. That basically confirmed to me that holy shit, they probably ARE together.

Now that I read back on this all, ALL The signs point to that she IS lying to me and that she IS cheating...but at the same time, I don't know if I'm just being paranoid because my actions weren't the greatest either. But she's also cheated on me before...and she's manipulated me so many times...I've seriously put my heart and soul into this relationship and all I'm getting back are illusions of what could and should be. But if it's true, I can't help but feel like shit because she makes me feel like the lowest form of life on the earth. Like scum. I've been losing sleep over this...last night, I barely could get to sleep and when I finally did, I only got about 5 hours. Tonight is probably going to be the same. I'm just sitting here and thinking why oh ....ing why is this even happening. I know in my mind I'm probably right, but my heart wants me to be completely wrong. Or perhaps it's my heart telling me I'm right and my mind telling me I'm so ....ing wrong.

I sometimes wish there was another way I could find out for sure...even if I could, I doubt she'd ever be honest with me about it. I wrote a song about this, too. It's really really eating away at me.

What do you guy's think?

[Konfyouzd]

I saw all I needed to see in the first line. Leave her.