SS Love and Relationships Thread

[soliloquy]

idk, like mentioned earlier, i have to say, being in a relationship is over rated.
yes, being with someone is great. it kills a lot of boredom. you always, or most of the time, have someone to do things with.

however, being single lets you do a whole lot of things that you just cant do being in a relationship. you dont have to constantly ask as to what you can/cant do. you dont have to answer to anyone in particular. you, in a way, are your own boss- not being in a partnership.

however, i've been in a relationship for 4 years and i wont give that up at the moment. but if i was to find myself single, then i wont cry a river over it.

they both are nice in their own ways. neither one has anything over the other, but only if you're looking at it properly and appreciating what it actually is

[broj15]

I don't really mind being single but i definetly prefer being in a relationship (if it's wiht the right person). Me and my gf have been together for almost 2 years now and things are pretty good. i think we have only really fought twice and it was over stupid shit.
For the most part i get to do what i want as far as party, hang with my friends, spend money etc. I mean it's a really awesome situation. I can get laid almost any time i want (save 3-5 days out of the month :P), she likes to chill with my friends, she designed my old bands logo, alot of our merch, and did our promo shots.
We also didn't celebrate valentines day. We both feel that it is just some stupid day that corporations use to get them by between christmas and tax season. It was just another tuesday for us.

[MFB]

So I may have been wrong with my previous impressions of said lady-friend and believing that it was merely lust; it might have been at that time, which isn't to say it is/was wrong but I think its coming back and turning into actually wanting to know her better. Me and a buddy of mine ended up grabbing lunch with her today and it was fun hanging out, thrn next werk we're going to the park and she also likes one of the bands I do; so we're going to a show together soon. It's just a whole bunch of little things at once and it's - and trust me I hate/detest/ABHOR this term - for lack of better word, "divine intervention."

Theres a little bit more to it but I'll leave it at that

[Varcolac]

Originally Posted by MFB

It's just a whole bunch of little things at once and it's - and trust me I hate/detest/ABHOR this term - for lack of better word, "divine intervention."

Theres a little bit more to it but I'll leave it at that

feels good man

It's coincidence. Still, good for you, and better for relationship soppiness: "one in a million" is chance; "divine intervention" is not.

[ghstofperdition]

Valentines day was amazing for me. Picked my man up, went to The Olive Garden for dinner, then we went back to my place and he gave me a good humpin. Best date yet.

[Konfyouzd]

I made it a forever alone Netflix night... Which doesn't really differ much from any other night so it's not really good or bad. Just kinda was.

[leandroab]

I had two wisdom teeth extracted on valentines day. I'm sure mine sucked worse...

[Sicarius]

I love the school I work for.

My god there are so many beautiful ladies.

and they're all way out of my league.

except one, who's probably 2-3 years younger than I am. She went to school with one of the guys I work with, and he reports that she was a huge stoner in school, but seems to have turned her life around.

Anyway, I may go "Check up on the work" we did yesterday, and talk to her a little bit.

[UnderTheSign]

"Out of my league" is ....ing bollocks. I've been with women I'd never expect myself to be with and I see dudes I didn't expect to EVER get laid score good lookers all the time. It's all a matter of attitude. Then again - if you think you can't, you're right.

[Konfyouzd]

Originally Posted by UnderTheSign

"Out of my league" is ....ing bollocks. I've been with women I'd never expect myself to be with and I see dudes I didn't expect to EVER get laid score good lookers all the time. It's all a matter of attitude. Then again - if you think you can't, you're right.

It's a little of both.

That and the fact that not everyone sees the world the way you do (general you--not you specifically).

Person A is an INCREDIBLY fine chick.

Person B is a fat guy that plays WoW all day and has little to no ppl skills.

Just because society would say Person A is more attractive doesn't mean she can't find something about Person B that she likes. Moreover, society's perception of beauty isn't representative of how the entire population feels (as the majority of us DON'T look like that) it's merely what the media pushes as what we "should" look like.

Apparently not all of us care.

But I think sometimes folks let their own prejudices psych them out of going for someone.

[Bekanor]

This one is ....ed in the head, and not nearly attractive enough to get away with it.

[Thrashmanzac]

went out for the first real time after my ex and i broke up (were together 3 years) and got 3 numbers, and set up coffee with one. also got a couple of girls home with me and my housemate. being single is starting to look better

[megano28]

Originally Posted by Konfyouzd

It's a little of both.

That and the fact that not everyone sees the world the way you do (general you--not you specifically).

Person A is an INCREDIBLY fine chick.

Person B is a fat guy that plays WoW all day and has little to no ppl skills.

Just because society would say Person A is more attractive doesn't mean she can't find something about Person B that she likes. Moreover, society's perception of beauty isn't representative of how the entire population feels (as the majority of us DON'T look like that) it's merely what the media pushes as what we "should" look like.

Apparently not all of us care.

But I think sometimes folks let their own prejudices psych them out of going for someone.

Generally agree with this. The idea of "being out of someone's league" imo stems from the person feeling inferior due to society's view on their appearance/lifestyle which leads to a noticeable drop in confidence. Most of the time, the men you see carrying beautiful women aren't doing so because they are Adonises themselves, it's the confidence they exude. Of course this is not always the case.

[ghstofperdition]

+2 on the confidence thing. It's all about how you carry yourself that attracts women. It's also true for women that want to attract a guy. No dude wants a girl that hates herself or wants to die on a daily basis. Stable, confident people are the ones that get the great people. If you aren't stable or confident, you're gonna miss out. Sucks, but tis true...

[Aevolve]

My girlfriend's Valentine's Day gift to me-




She's ....ing hilariously awesome.

[BucketheadRules]

Originally Posted by ghstofperdition

+2 on the confidence thing. It's all about how you carry yourself that attracts women. It's also true for women that want to attract a guy. No dude wants a girl that hates herself or wants to die on a daily basis. Stable, confident people are the ones that get the great people. If you aren't stable or confident, you're gonna miss out. Sucks, but tis true...

Damn.

I'm stable (I think... I don't fall over that much anyway ) but I have a huge confidence problem and no idea how to overcome it...

[Stealthdjentstic]

I would recommend drawing angry eyebrows

[Thrashmanzac]

Originally Posted by BucketheadRules

Damn.

I'm stable (I think... I don't fall over that much anyway ) but I have a huge confidence problem and no idea how to overcome it...

just talk to as many girls (or guys if thats your thing) as you can. its like anything, you get better at it and build your confidence up. im not a handsome guy by any means, but i am pretty confident and really enjoy talking to girls and meeting new people just keep constantly putting yourself out of your comfort zone

[Cabinet]

I think a sense of false confidence eventually evolves into genuine confidence. I think happiness plays a big role in confidence too. When I was younger I had zero confidence, no self esteem, was very quiet and shy. And I didn't overcome any of this until after high school :lol I'm still not the most confident guy in the world but eh.

To build confidence, there are a lot of things you can do. Reinventing yourself is one of them, just make sure you're still you and don't try to be anyone different.

[megano28]

Originally Posted by BucketheadRules

Damn.

I'm stable (I think... I don't fall over that much anyway ) but I have a huge confidence problem and no idea how to overcome it...

The thing about confidence is that it works on a positive feedback cycle. What that means for you is that obtaining it isn't easy by any means. But once you take that first step, it sort of releases a series of steps that only keeps multiplying your confidence.

Originally Posted by Cabinet

I think a sense of false confidence eventually evolves into genuine confidence. I think happiness plays a big role in confidence too. When I was younger I had zero confidence, no self esteem, was very quiet and shy. And I didn't overcome any of this until after high school :lol I'm still not the most confident guy in the world but eh.

To build confidence, there are a lot of things you can do. Reinventing yourself is one of them, just make sure you're still you and don't try to be anyone different.

I completely agree with the first part. I had no self esteem in my younger years and that really shot my confidence. So when I got older(early teens) I sort of faked confidence and used humor to get this girl to go out with me. Once she told me yes, it instantly boosted my confidence. After our date, more women found me attractive(they're weird like that ) which boosted my confidence even more. The more girls I flirted with, the more that were open to me flirting with them. It kind of compounded to the point where I'm borderline cocky..Sometimes the first step has to be fake

[Sicarius]

Originally Posted by Konfyouzd

It's a little of both.

That and the fact that not everyone sees the world the way you do (general you--not you specifically).

Person A is an INCREDIBLY fine chick.

Person B is a fat guy that plays WoW all day and has little to no ppl skills.

Just because society would say Person A is more attractive doesn't mean she can't find something about Person B that she likes. Moreover, society's perception of beauty isn't representative of how the entire population feels (as the majority of us DON'T look like that) it's merely what the media pushes as what we "should" look like.

Apparently not all of us care.

But I think sometimes folks let their own prejudices psych them out of going for someone.

I stopped playing WoW fulltime a while ago, and I'm workin' on my people skills.

I think it's just 'cause I'm fat.

[megano28]

^^ It's not though. There's a tumblr-ish quote out there that describes the differences between attraction to women and men. Men are very visual, you can see if you're into someone in an instant. Women on the other hand, tend to care much more about how a man handles himself, how he talks to her, makes her laugh etc. Looks aren't as big of a deal to them like they are to us.

Learn how to make a woman smile, feel special, laugh even all while not becoming an emotional doormat and you'll get someone to call your own. The only reason I'd suggest you lose some weight/tone up is because it'll help your confidence. A six pack won't get you a woman on its own, the confidence behind it is what'll help you. Not easy at all, but a woman who only wants you for the exterior is one that won't last you long

[Sicarius]

Originally Posted by megano28

^^ It's not though. There's a tumblr-ish quote out there that describes the differences between attraction to women and men. Men are very visual, you can see if you're into someone in an instant. Women on the other hand, tend to care much more about how a man handles himself, how he talks to her, makes her laugh etc. Looks aren't as big of a deal to them like they are to us.

Learn how to make a woman smile, feel special, laugh even all while not becoming an emotional doormat and you'll get someone to call your own. The only reason I'd suggest you lose some weight/tone up is because it'll help your confidence. A six pack won't get you a woman on its own, the confidence behind it is what'll help you. Not easy at all, but a woman who only wants you for the exterior is one that won't last you long

The thing about Tumblr-ish quotes is they're full of shit.

I can do that, I'm a well likable guy, but I'm not what a chick looks for. Women may say they want someone who makes them laugh or is nice to them, but in all honesty, they're very visual, too.

Men and Women are pre-programmed to find someone to mate with, and each has it's own predispositions as to what they want and don't want.

The girls I like may find me funny and a good friend, because that's what I am. I'm honest and trustworthy, but the chicks I like aren't chubby chasers. I don't have a lack of confidence, I have a lack of social skills to go from being friendly, to trying to go out on a date. Until recently I didn't give a shit because I didn't have the money to do any of that.

I'm okay with being alone, but I'm going to be hard on myself for being complacent with it.

[UnderTheSign]

If weight is the issue, I hope you're planning on or have already started losing weight?

Sorry if I sound harsh man, but you don't exactly radiate confidence. You're constantly coming up with reasons for chicks not liking you. Be a man, give them something to like. We're in the relationships thread, I doubt any dude that posts here actually wants to be alone... Or they wouldn't be here.

[Ibanezsam4]

Originally Posted by Sicarius

The girls I like may find me funny and a good friend, because that's what I am. I'm honest and trustworthy, but the chicks I like aren't chubby chasers. I don't have a lack of confidence, I have a lack of social skills to go from being friendly, to trying to go out on a date. Until recently I didn't give a shit because I didn't have the money to do any of that.

I'm okay with being alone, but I'm going to be hard on myself for being complacent with it.

Trust me, all the social skills in the world will never get you out of a friend zone (where it sounds like you end up by this description). What girls want from friends and what they want from lovers is two complete different thing initially.
While we want our lovers to be our friends, that really doesn't happen right away. first there's the physicality of relationship and then followed by the life long friendship. Basically, you can't be the best friend right away, you need to be somewhat emotionally reserved and put the sexual tension between yourself and the girl first. hey if she's going through a hard time be supportive, but the second she's telling you about drama in her life and you accept it and start engaging in it.. friend zone.

But seriously, the only way to exude the sexual tension needed to engage a woman romantically involves confidence, not social skills. and you keep referencing your body image in a negative light which makes me think you are uncomfortable about yourself. if you truly dont mind being alone for the time being, i say start redefining yourself. concentrate on things you want to do, break out of all your comfort zones, try new things, new hobbies. this may or may not involve shedding a few pounds. but it gets you in the mode of actively pursuing life and living to the fullest, which is what women really want in a man.