So it turns out I'm gay...

[Sang-Drax]

Many civilized people would probably read this and think, "yeah, so?" It's the best news in my life for the past decade, however, and I'd like to share it with you.

For the last years, I so much refused to accept who I was that I managed to conceal the feelings from my own self. I abdicated my human condition, coming to the conclusion that I was an automaton, uncapable of loving; existing, but not really living. It's incredible how we can lie to ourselves so convincinly.

Everything tasted like ashes. Nothing I did was interesting, to the degree of having an awesome trip to Italy and not really caring about it. My guess is that I had to drown my feelings to such an extent that I ended up not feeling anything at all toward anything. The only thing that could still bring a shiver to the spine sometimes was music, and even that was becoming rarer and rarer. When that happened, I've no doubts I'd seriously consider suicide.

This past week, for no apparent reason, I decided to face to truth. I went like, "you know what? .... it," and now things are so much different. I mean, I haven't really met anyone in particular; it's just the perspective of doing so that makes everything so much different. It's like getting your head out of the water to breathe again.

For the first time in 15 years - when I last fell in love for a girl - I feel happy and human. I can't help but quote The Smiths: "I am human and I need to be loved - just like everybody else does".

Just like everybody else does. I can't believe I'm human, after all. It's such a damn relief!

I do have a very conservative family which most likely won't accept me, but hell, c'est la vie. At least I live in a liberal city, and I don't expect too many problems with my friends either.

Thanks for reading thus far

And I can still boast of having picked the hottest chick at my friend's wedding! Huzzah!

[matt397]

Hey good for you mang, it must take balls (no pun intended ) to come out like that.
Oh an what the .... is it with gay guys always picking up the hot chick, its like some one grabbig the last slice of pizza just to look at it.

[vampiregenocide]

Good man on coming out Massive respect.

[Sang-Drax]

Thank you

And the pizza analogy is ....ing brilliant

[Prydogga]

Damn, you must be like 50% hotter now that you're accepting you're gay Too bad for those gorgeous chicks you can probably pull.

All jokes aside, glad that you can come out, here I definitely think it's a safe and warm environment, as far as the internet goes (A metal guitar forum! who knew? ) I doubt you'd cop any flame here.

Congrats for taking what must be a valuable step in your life, hope it continues to keep your life at an improvement from before, hope suicide becomes the least of thoughts on your mind in future.

Again congrats!

EDIT: Also 3 replies in the time it took to write mine.

[Psychobuddy]

Hey congratulations man, as stated before it takes guts to come out like that.

Your life will no doubt be much more worthwhile now and you should definitely enjoy living much much more.

Also if anyone gives you shit for being gay grab some ss.org buddies [I know there's a few people from Rio on here] and give 'em hell.........or just scare them it's up to you

[Cheesebuiscut]

[JJ Rodriguez]

You might want to pick up a couple of these to get in shape:

[Prydogga]

I wouldn't mind receiving some genetic inertia right now.

[mattofvengeance]

Congrats, bro. It definitely takes courage to step up and accept something like that.

[ralphy1976]

so are you the only gay in your village?

[Sang-Drax]

^ . I really hope I don't look anything close to that!

I'm the third gay in my office, actually. One of my colleagues, though not openly gay, is way too fabulouth to be straight ; and one of my bosses is lesbian (she also happens to be both the nicest one and the prettiest). I've my doubts if the big boss is lesbian too, but she's so nuts overall that it's hard to tell. Considering we're just some 15'ish people working there, that's a high gayness rate.

I have no homosexual close friends, though. Or maybe my gaydar is underdeveloped.

@ shake weight!

Originally Posted by mattofvengeance

Congrats, bro. It definitely takes courage to step up and accept something like that.

Tell me about, man. I know things will be hard (no pun intended) from now on, but seriously, it couldn't get any worse than it was before.

Originally Posted by Psychobuddy_101

Hey congratulations man, as stated before it takes guts to come out like that.

Your life will no doubt be much more worthwhile now and you should definitely enjoy living much much more.

Also if anyone gives you shit for being gay grab some ss.org buddies [I know there's a few people from Rio on here] and give 'em hell.........or just scare them it's up to you

I think only I and Leandro live Rio among ss.org regulars. There's also 2 or 3 from São Paulo (6 hours away from here by car) and 2 from Florianópolis (18 hours by car), but one of these was banned for leaking Periphery's album and claiming he had all the right to do it .

Regardless, I don't expect to have this kind of trouble. Fortunately, things have evolved a lot in the last years concerning overall prejudice.

My generation (25-30ish) is still a little biased against both homosexuality and black people (yup, still), but I've noticed a huge, I mean, HUGE improvement with people not even that much younger than me. The generation prior to mine is barbaric, though. Had I been born 10 years earlier, I don't know if I'd have the balls to accept this.

[playstopause]

Originally Posted by vampiregenocide

Good man on coming out Massive respect.

[Prydogga]

Originally Posted by Sang-Drax

I think only I and Leandro live Rio among ss.org regulars. .

Having Leandro around is more than enough, THE MAN HAS SURVIVAL PANTS.

It's in the name.

[BigPhi84]

Originally Posted by Sang-Drax

Everything tasted like ashes.

What??? Oh, you said ashes. My bad.

Congrats on figuring out what makes you happy. There are plenty of people that never realize these types of things and wonder why they have to constantly take depression medications. I don't know how conservative Brazil is, (I just know that the chicks have the hottest buns in the world and fake boobs are everywhere) but I hope you can live your life how ever you want to and not be persecuted because of it.

[BigPhi84]

Originally Posted by JJ Rodriguez

You might want to pick up a couple of these to get in shape:

He might like this version better.

[Origin]

Courage, dude. I'm happy for you

[E Lucevan Le Stelle]

Aww, congratulations! Trust me, everything does improve a lot...

Oh, if you're ever in London, I'll totally take you out for a drink sometime!

*thinks Brazilian guys are totally hot...* ahem.

[Prydogga]

*Thread just filled with sexual tension*

[DrakkarTyrannis]

Well as head Sexual Deviant of SS.Org, I'd like to...


Tell you to get the .... out.. This is my hen house..there ain't enough ass on this forum for all of us.

[E Lucevan Le Stelle]

Originally Posted by DrakkarTyrannis

Well as head Sexual Deviant of SS.Org, I'd like to...

Tell you to get the .... out.. This is my hen house..there ain't enough ass on this forum for all of us.

Now now, I'm sure Stitch will find time for both of you...

[DrakkarTyrannis]

Originally Posted by E Lucevan Le Stelle

Now now, I'm sure Stitch will find time for both of you...

No both...If Sang joins my harem with the rest of you, then we're cool..but there can't be 2 bulls. It's the way of SS.Org

[Necris]

Originally Posted by DrakkarTyrannis

there can't be 2 bulls. It's the way of SS.Org

[Matt-Hatchett]

Congratulations man.

[DrakkarTyrannis]