[Popsyche]

Don't they have anything better to do!

Middle school issues ban on intentional flatulence

By Holly S. Anderson
VillageSoup/Knox County Times Senior Reporter

CAMDEN (Feb 1): The Merriam Webster Dictionary definition for flatulence is brief: "flatus expelled through the anus." And while it's a natural bodily function, it seems some Camden-Rockport Middle School eighth-grade boys are taking it to new heights and making a game of seeing who can expel the loudest and grossest flatus.

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According to this week's Fire Cracker school newsletter though, the joke's on the boys as the penalty for "intentional farting" is now a detention.

"Strange, but true, thanks to a bunch of 8th grade boys, intentional farting has been banned from CRMS," the newsletter said. "It started out as a funny joke and eventually turned into a game. This is the first rule at CRMS that prevents the use of natural bodily functions. The penalty for intentional farting is a detention, so keep it to yourself!"

According to a group of seventh-grade students milling around downtown following Friday's storm-related early release, the eighth-graders' escapades are well known in the school.

"They would do it in science class and other places," said Jordan Tyler. "It's a natural occurrence and we all do it 16 times a day."

When questioned where he learned that information, Tyler and the other students all said it was true, though they couldn't remember where they heard it.

One of the other students, Kyle Ruger, said the act by the boys was funny, but he had mixed feelings about whether it was appropriate.

Jordan Knowlton minced no words when she expressed how she felt, saying, "It's gross."

Remy LeVine said he was in the class when CRMS science teacher Brad LaRoche talked to all the eighth-grade boys about the issue, as well as the consequences.

Attempts to reach CRMS Principal Maria Libby Friday afternoon were unsuccessful and school Superintendent Patricia Hopkins said she had not heard anything about the issue or the alleged suspected result, though she did get a good chuckle out of the news.

[JJ Rodriguez]

Okay, how the fuck can you punish someone for that? It'd be too easy for a malicious teacher (like the ones I had) to say any expulsion of gas was intentional and give you a detention. It's like a burp. Sure, you can control it to some extent, but sometimes a loud one gets away from you.

[darren]

I think it's stupid to ban the act itself. Instead, they should be giving people detentions for rude and disruptive behaviour. It's one thing if the kids are having farting contests in the halls or on their own time, but any kind of disruption like that in class is inappropriate, regardless of the actual source of the disruption.

[JJ Rodriguez]

If I ever have a kid, I'm going to punish it for breathing. That'll learn the fucker some manners.

[Nerina]

Originally Posted by JJ Rodriguez

If I ever have a kid, I'm going to punish it for breathing. That'll learn the fucker some manners.