The dont's of live performance

[7 Dying Trees]

We've all seen enough bands to comment, so what are in your opinions the things that kill a band off at a live enviroment? Basically, a list of things which are just absolute no's

[eaeolian]

Carry your 1000 pedals in their own separate boxes and then plug them up for your 1/2 set opening for three bands.

[NegaTiveXero]

Standing there looking at the fretboard the WHOLE show.

Like wise, not getting into the music at all, the audience sometimes needs to see energy to get moving.

Singers/guitarists turning away from the crowd for no reason. Especially during solos.

[7 Dying Trees]

Tuning instruments with the sound on. Even worse is two people tuning to each other with the sound on. This is summarised by:

Bands not having a tuning pedal.

[Lozek]

One of my pet hates on smaller shows is guitarists/singers that insist on getting down on the floor with the crowd. It always comes off as a bit desperate, if your music/stageshow isn't connecting with them then you need to re-think things.

Don't make personal jokes with your mates in the crowd, there's other people in the audience as well.

If there's technical issues, for gods sake someone else in the band cover it. An impromptu solo/jam/joke/dance routine is all it takes. (and don't call your audience names to cover it )

[Nick]

singers with their mic free hand in their pocket. might sound daft but it shows disinterest

[nitelightboy]

Band members getting totally obliterated prior to hitting the stage. Drugs and alcohol in moderation may help you get up there, but go too far and you're gonna play like crap (even though you hear yourself as being the next guitar god).

[halsinden]

being mikael akerfeldt.

stunning music, stellar vocals, drab to watch.

H

[nitelightboy]

And let's not forget abouta band that just stands there. FRIGGIN' DO SOMETHING!!! Hear that Dream THeater?

[halsinden]

Originally Posted by Lozek

One of my pet hates on smaller shows is guitarists/singers that insist on getting down on the floor with the crowd.

um...

shit.

H

[Makelele]

Originally Posted by halsinden

being mikael akerfeldt.

stunning music, stellar vocals, drab to watch.

H

Bullshit.

Opeth rules live. In every way.

[halsinden]

spitting.

H

Originally Posted by Makelele

Bullshit.

Opeth rules live. In every way.

like i say man; i love their music and almost everything about them, i was engaged, i just didn’t enjoy watching them.

this was overall several sittings a few years ago, mind. he may have pulled something out the bag since then, but being glued to a mic stand just doesn’t do it for me.

H

frontmen who apologise / explain / are overwhelmingly negative.

“i know we’re shit, but, my postman kicked me this morning and that’s why i didn’t hit that note in…”

just get on with it, nobody’s interested in reasons or excuses for pulling punches.

H

[Lozek]

While we're on that one, DON'T forget to entertain your audience. Unless you're Dream Theater/Steve Vai etc, your audience is not entirely made up of musicians and they really don't care if you're playing in a 'Mixolydian half gypsy nunchuck' scale. Entertain them for the sake of all that is carbon based.

[Lozek]

Oooooh ooooh oooooh, another one. Don't, please please don't, dedicate the next song to your girlfriend. No-one else sees the beauty in your saggy, mole ridden walrus of an attempt at human likeness. Just don't. really.

[halsinden]

Originally Posted by Lozek

Oooooh ooooh oooooh, another one. Don't, please please don't, dedicate the next song to your girlfriend. No-one else sees the beauty in your saggy, mole ridden walrus of an attempt at human likeness. Just don't. really.

or perhaps as a second to that - overly long diatribes between nearly each & every song, a la phil anselmo / axl rose.

and perhaps then once actually off the stage (and sometimes on) - laypeople such as bono genuinely postulating on politics as if he’s in a position to be revered. it’s an abuse of profile, IMO.

H

[Lozek]

Originally Posted by halsinden

or perhaps as a second to that - overly long diatribes between nearly each & every song, a la phil anselmo / axl rose.

H

And also conversely, long silences/technical fiddling between songs.

[halsinden]

Originally Posted by Lozek

technical fiddling between songs.

necrophagist on a violin? how would that be a good filler? you’re weird.

H

[Lozek]

Originally Posted by halsinden

necrophagist on a violin? how would that be a good filler? you’re weird.

H

'If by technical, I mean........' etc etc

[Groff]

You know what I hate?
Singers who get all pissed off at people who aren't standing right up front in their face. Now it's one thing to say "I wanna see some movement!" or "Hey, lets all get up and mosh!" But when they go up and be a complete ASSHOLE about it, it's just ....ing stupid. For example: "Hey!! You stupid mother ....ers at the bar sitting down! Get your drunk lazy asses up here! I wanna see you mother ....ers moving right now!!" *Crowd simultaneously thinks this guy is an asshole and stops paying attention* "Hey! I'm talking to you! Get the .... up!"

...Nothing makes me want to NOT pay attention more.

[Nick]

Originally Posted by halsinden

being mikael akerfeldt.

stunning music, stellar vocals, drab to watch.

H

when i saw opeth he was moving around the stage and having fun.

Some guys just arent going to go crazy on stage they just arent like that.

[Lozek]

Originally Posted by TheMissing

You know what I hate?
Singers who get all pissed off at people who aren't standing right up front in their face.

Yep, totally. And people who refuse to accept the reality of their situation. ie

'I wanna see a circle pit, NOW'
'Er dude, there's three people in here, and one of them is on crutches'

or

'Thank you London, you've been amazing'
*old man & sole audience member sitting at the bar coughs & shuffles uncomfortably*

[TomAwesome]

Don't take half of your allotted set time to set your gear up and goof off only to play over your time and into most of the next band's set. Bands do that to us and each other all the time here. We have been forced to play two-song sets before because of it.

If you are a vocalist, don't mumble when you talk, insult the crowd for no reason, pick fights with people, argue with the owner of the venue when they tell you to stop writing random crap on the dry erase board, get drunk before a set, do other stuff to mess up your voice before a show, be irresponsible in ways that make it so you're sick at 2 or 3 out of 5 shows, waste all kinds of time trying to get two mics set up for yourself and trying to fix your piece of crap effects processor while the rest of the band is already set up and waiting for you, later during that same set apologize/complain about the rest of the band taking so long to set up when you're the one everyone was waiting for, dip your head in house paint and call it a Halloween costume, constantly hit your head on the guitar headstocks because you're not paying attention... That's stuff from our last two vocalists, and that's just the on stage stuff, or at least what I can remember of it off hand.

[Leon]

don't try to be "all that." if you are, i'll see it from where i'm standing.

[ohio_eric]

Do not under any circumstances tell me how great you are. I'll make my own decision thanks.

Do not copy other bands stage moves unless are a tribute band. Under all other circumstances it looks lame.

Do not try and be all "meaningful". I hate it when bands play their one big epic ballad and the singer feels obligated to tell me that everyone wants to be loved or feels lonely or whatever. If your music is based on a message then I will pick up on it. No need to go all Dr. Phil on my ass.

[Popsyche]

Control your ....ing stage volume!

You are not playing in Wembley. The club holds 23 people including that hot chick behind the bar, your band and the clubowner/scumbag. No need for you to crank up to get your "tone". Learn to generate your tone at a volume commensurate with your current situation and surroundings.