[Anthony]

Originally Posted by Jachop

I'm having the same problems as you dude. Not due to being overweight or anything - but I look much younger than my age (19, turning 20 this year). It sucks, but what can one do but trying to make the best out of it regardless?

Can you grow a beard?

[Jachop]

Nope.

[TheHandOfStone]

I can certainly relate. I have an odd mix of low self-confidence and strong convictions in what I'm doing. So the only real advice I can give you that you haven't already heard is never to compromise on things that are important to you because it's easy. These are the kinds of things that build self-confidence. But of course, you probably already knew that.

[budda]

this is a GOOD thread!

boober has excellent advice as usual. the man is confident, and knows his stuff.

to the OP and all who struggle with something:
surround yourself with supportive individuals.. if you have friends who rag on you, FUCK THEM and find some GOOD people. I endured 4.5 years of highschool and bullshit and always feeling like the runt i was made to feel. im sure that the people who had a direct impact on my self-esteem and self-image dont know how much effect they had, but ultimately i was not much of anything (other then a guitarist) when I graduated. i hadnt kissed a girl for the first time until i was almost 19 (im turning 20 this fall).

I went to college. i moved out. i did stuff for myself. i got my lip pierced. i started working out: went to the gym once or twice a week when i could, with my best friend - we had our goals, we were striving to meet them. i had lost weight from my summer job (walking for roughly 8 hrs a day, pushing a lawnmower). i went from around 235lbs to 220, my sister gave me a hug after not seeing me for a week and said "OH MY GOD!" *i thought she was noting my wet shirt from a shift at Subway* "YOU'RE GETTING SKINNIER!" it was a very nice thing to hear!

throughout the school year, i ate like crap - i dont really cook, frozen food salads subs and sandwhiches and some apples n' grapes - i got up to around 240lbs. sounds ok, don'it.. I'm not quiite 5'11. the last 3 weeks of school, i was at the gym 6 hours a week and only eating 2 meals a day - i just didnt feel hungry. I got down to about 225. currently, after 2 months of work i consistently weigh between 212 and 210lbs. i havent been that "light" since.. gr 10 maybe? that was 3 years ago.

also, at school i met some good friends. yes they ragged on me, but they were also supportive when I needed them to be. in the case of my lip piercing (which is no longer in, it'll get re-done: I will get a job through my abilities and work ethic, not so much on my appearance!) my friend jon did not like the idea, but supported me doing it. Getting my lip pierced was the first step for me - i did something to make myself happy, not anyone else. Like many of you, I like to make people happy even if it means sacrificing something myself. It doesnt always pay off, and sometimes makes me wonder what the hell i was thinking. In the case of my piercing, i gained confidence in myself, i had a new level of happiness never previously achieved, and I felt happy with who i was. i knew how things were going, I knew who loved me and who my friends were.

I took the piercing out, and life got a bit shittier. i cried the night it came out, not thinking it would be a big deal - it felt like i was giving up, giving up my decision to be my own person and just trying to make everyone else happy again. I can only hope that when it gets re-done, I gain some of that confidence back. I dont think it will be the same, but i do miss it.

I came back to a town of 4200, where everyone knows me as that tag-along guy in highschool who's obsessed with guitar and metal - most people probably dont know that i love acoustic music and that I have a good singing voice, that's my own fault. I am back in a town that dragged me down for years, and am chomping at the bit to move back out, do things on my own terms and be surrounded by more supportive people who enjoy my company and who I am and what I am about. I need to get back into workign out, I want to keep losing weight and build up a physique, and Be Happy.

Only YOU can make yourself happy. Believe me, I know how hard it is to follow through with advice when someone tells you "ignore what the others think, do it for yourself." it's hard. its scary as hell, change is terrifying, and its hard to get the balls to make even a small change in your life. but you know what?

it's worth it!. For how much better you feel from accomplishing things, from being happier thus making other people happier - feelings are transferable - and you find yourself pursuing new goals and reaching new heights.

the problem with those of us with low self-esteem? we dont think we can do it. fuck them, fuck yourself for thinking it, ignore and avoid the people who bring you down - you can do it. step outside the comfort zone, man up, prove to yourself that you are a person, you have worth, and you are worth it to you. It's a scary thought, its incredibly hard to let it all go and improve, but at the end of the day you have to live with yourself.

I still dont like things about myself, but I'm trying to improve that. love your family, use your resources, surround yourself with supportive people, and believe that you can do it - there's no reason you cant.

[Gilbucci]

Thanks for the advice everyone! I truly do appreciate it all. I have definitely gotten better since I made this thread. I figured it really wasn't my weight that was bringing me down, but my overall attitude. I also figured that going about increasing my confidence by external factors is just counterproductive, and really will NOT help me in the long run.

What really helped me out was just setting aside the time to just point out my positive traits, and really thinking about all the good I've done in my life. Thanks again, guys!

[budda]

atta boy!

[ibznorange]

Originally Posted by Gilbucci

Thanks a ton for the replies guys, I really appreciate them all.

@WarriorOfMetal; I am not 'fat' by any means, but I have a bit of a gut, and I hate the feeling of having to suck it in to look good. I know I want to lose weight, but I just know that in the end, I won't stick to any diet/exercise plan.

youre not overweight by weight definition. that means you need to tone up if you still have a gut

[ZeroSignal]

Originally Posted by ibznorange

youre not overweight by weight definition. that means you need to tone up if you still have a gut

How do you go about toning up? Just loads of sit-ups?

[B Lopez]

Running, jump rope, and some (by some I mean a lot of ) core exercises.

[Randy]

Originally Posted by ZeroSignal

How do you go about toning up? Just loads of sit-ups?

I've heard that bicycle crunches are the best "bang for your buck" in that department (as far as basic floor exercises go).