[The Dark Wolf]

Originally Posted by Gilbucci

@WarriorOfMetal; I am not 'fat' by any means, but I have a bit of a gut, and I hate the feeling of having to suck it in to look good. I know I want to lose weight, but I just know that in the end, I won't stick to any diet/exercise plan.

I think that's a key right there.

You've already mentally defeated yourself. Look, confidence, while something some people are born with in more proportions than others (I seem to have almost ridiculous levels of confidence. I literally give 2 shits), REAL confidence comes from competency.

Competency builds when you set and achieve goals. You, Mike, seek others to affirm your status, your worth, because you do not believe in yourself. Anything is possible, anything can be accomplished. My theory is, even if you DON'T achieve the exact goal you strove for, just the striving is bound to both A) improve you as a person, and B) open new doors that were never available to you until you strove.


I challenge you to overcome that mindset. Set yourself some realistic workout goals, and achieve them! You will both look better, and feel better. For inspiration, may I suggest 2 things -

1. Watch the film 'Pumping Iron', with Arnold Schwarzenegger. It's a documentary from the early days of bodybuilding. Arnold is an inspirational figure in many ways for his discipline and his ability to dream.
2. Get his book, 'Arnold: The Education of a Bodybuilder.' This book is both truly inspirational - Arnold was a sickly nobody from backwoods Austria, and became one of the most successful people ever, all through his confidence - and is full of sensible, apt advice for shaping your body, through diet, exercise, and the sound principles of believing you can achieve what you really want.


I'm a believer in practical, applicable advice. Not too much on touchy-feely, "Aww, that's ok!" type shit. The Klingons have a proverb - "When sad... act!" Hope it helps, and I wish you well.

[Lucky Seven]

Originally Posted by The Dark Wolf

I'm a believer in practical, applicable advice. Not too much on touchy-feely, "Aww, that's ok!" type shit. The Klingons have a proverb - "When sad... act!" Hope it helps, and I wish you well.

Funny thing you mention that...because I've been living like that for the past 6 months. There were some things I wasn't happy about with myself, so I decided to act. I've lost 40 pounds of fat, I've gained muscle, and I'm in better shape than all of my friends. All of this came from being fed up with myself and deciding to improve. Since then I've become way more mentally and physically healthy. Just make sure that whatever you do, you put in research so you know what you're doing...

[The Dark Wolf]

Good for you, Kyle! That's exactly what I'm saying.

It all begins in the mind. But when you apply yourself, everything else comes. Almost Zen-like.


And fuck Ken with his self-deprecation. Dude's so fucking good on guitar he makes me want to punch his dog.

[Ken]

Originally Posted by The Dark Wolf

And fuck Ken with his self-deprecation. Dude's so fucking good on guitar he makes me want to punch his dog.

I know it doesn't make any sense. It's true all the same. Don't get me wrong, I don't go around saying "I suck at guitar", because I know that I don't. I'm getting better at just playing what I want without worrying it it's technically impressive or not.

[guitarplayerone]

Originally Posted by The Dark Wolf

I think that's a key right there.

You've already mentally defeated yourself. Look, confidence, while something some people are born with in more proportions than others (I seem to have almost ridiculous levels of confidence. I literally give 2 shits), REAL confidence comes from competency.

Competency builds when you set and achieve goals. You, Mike, seek others to affirm your status, your worth, because you do not believe in yourself. Anything is possible, anything can be accomplished. My theory is, even if you DON'T achieve the exact goal you strove for, just the striving is bound to both A) improve you as a person, and B) open new doors that were never available to you until you strove.


I challenge you to overcome that mindset. Set yourself some realistic workout goals, and achieve them! You will both look better, and feel better. For inspiration, may I suggest 2 things -

1. Watch the film 'Pumping Iron', with Arnold Schwarzenegger. It's a documentary from the early days of bodybuilding. Arnold is an inspirational figure in many ways for his discipline and his ability to dream.
2. Get his book, 'Arnold: The Education of a Bodybuilder.' This book is both truly inspirational - Arnold was a sickly nobody from backwoods Austria, and became one of the most successful people ever, all through his confidence - and is full of sensible, apt advice for shaping your body, through diet, exercise, and the sound principles of believing you can achieve what you really want.


I'm a believer in practical, applicable advice. Not too much on touchy-feeling, "Aww, that's ok!" type shit. The Klingons have a proverb - "When sad... act!" Hope it helps, and I wish you well.

YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES!

Remember, there is no doubt that you are the alpha male. just go work hard and materialize that.

[Gilbucci]

I totally want to start exercising again and getting healthier, but getting inspired to actually do it is a completely different thing. I exercised/dieted like mad from like November to February and lost about 40 pounds (from 220 to 180) and since then I've put on 10 pounds and I've lost all inspiration to do it

[s7eve]

Look at my sig, then look at my post in the I saw someone die today thread, it doesn't have to be hard, I would hardly call what I am doing exercise and you can diet and still enjoy your favourite foods.

[The Dark Wolf]

Originally Posted by Gilbucci

I totally want to start exercising again and getting healthier, but getting inspired to actually do it is a completely different thing. I exercised/dieted like mad from like November to February and lost about 40 pounds (from 220 to 180) and since then I've put on 10 pounds and I've lost all inspiration to do it

Try following my advice. You have nothing to lose. If that particular thing doesn't work, find something else. Something that speaks to YOU. We all have triggers that help move us in certain directions. Find something that moves you in a positive direction. Unless you only made this thread to bitch? Or do you want results?

Always wanting/needing others' approval is almost like being shackled to a heavy rock, that always holds you in one place. Break that chain. It's a mental thing. You ever see an elephant leashed in one spot? They use a regular rope on its foot. How the hell is a rope gonna hold an adult elephant in place? It can't, realistically. But when the elephant is young, and small, they shackle it's leg with a heavy, strong chain. The elephant may struggle, but it can never break that chain holding it in place. Eventually, it ceases to try.

Then, they can use a simple rope. The elephant has given up, and will not try again.



* The Dark Wolf is off to workout.

[Kakaka]

Don't delude yourself with the thoughts of obtaining something that will change who you are. Things won't change unless you change or, at least, change your acts. Don't suffer too much with the expectation and anxiety for a change too, simply go out and change right away. For example, simply go and talk to the next girl you see. Talk to new people just for the sake of being a social being. This will help you to notice that people are just people pretty much like you. So you probably shouldn't be afraid of going out and relating to them.

Oh, and, not that I tell you to give up on dreams, but stopping to dream too wildly and starting to work on tangible projects is by far more rewarding than to close oneself into a shell of imagination and introvertion.

Just to make it clear, it's my own approach to self-rejection and social interaction.

Best of luck for you, dude!

[sakeido]

To build my self confidence, I just boiled it down to the most simple terms possible.
- I respect people who accomplish things
- I would respect myself if I am always accomplishing something
- Therefore, I am always practicing guitar, working out, developing my game, or making friends

So long as I maintain forward motion, and am always improving in some way, I feel good about myself, and these good feelings make it easier to accomplish more, until ultimately it becomes self-sustaining and I feel good about myself all the time.