sevenstring guitars   sevenstring registry   photo gallery  merch
Sevenstring.org - The Seven String Guitar Authority
home groups support us register
Go Back  
 
User: 
Pass:  
General Music Discussion - All Music discussion here. Bands, styles, genres and anything else.
Welcome to sevenstring.org! You are currently viewing the site as a guest which gives you limited access to most features.
Most ad placements do not show to registered members. Register Now!

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 04-22-2008, 03:38 PM   #1 (permalink)
Prog Metalish
 
ArchAngel1024's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Upstate, NY
Posts: 114

Real Name: Nick
Main Seven: Ibanez GRX720
Rig: Beringer V-Amp

Thanked: 5

ArchAngel1024 is a jewel in the rough
Some lyrics I wrote

I figured this is the best place to get some critique on these (on this forum at least). I wrote it imagining Maynard Keenan singing.

I have 2 different choruses I'm working on.

Quote:
Originally Posted by No name yet
I met the time keeper today
He just always seems sad
but hey
What am I to do?
What am I to say?
The man watches his clocks just tick away.

Such a ridiculous man.

He only watches
never even tries
to help

And when he does
It all goes wrong



Quote:
Originally Posted by Chorus idea one
It's time
for a new
keeper

I'm done
watching the time fly by

Stand up
Pick your side

And watch an empire fall

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chorus idea two
It's time
for a new
keeper

Pick a side

And watch the system fail

Nothing works any more
these parts are useless.
Get up
and move about with your
ridiculous
campaign

One jester
One harlot
And a rhino

Mount them on the pedestal!

{solo would go here}

{Chorus}

End scene
watch it fall

repeat 4x
Comment away.

-------------------

For the full .gif go here.

We're writing still, but please, check it out.
If anybody asks, I'll pass out copies of wip tracks.
View ArchAngel1024's Photo Album Offline   Reply With Quote
Thanked by:
Old 04-22-2008, 04:10 PM   #2 (permalink)
Spastic Kitchen!
 
bostjan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 6,173

Main Seven: Oni Custom 7
Main ERG: Oni Custom 8
Rig: Mesa Dual Recto

Thanked: 6

bostjan is pretty damn metal.bostjan is pretty damn metal.bostjan is pretty damn metal.bostjan is pretty damn metal.bostjan is pretty damn metal.bostjan is pretty damn metal.bostjan is pretty damn metal.bostjan is pretty damn metal.
A rhino?

I like the first verse and the first chorus idea. Need more verses to parallel the first one.
View bostjan's Photo Album Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-22-2008, 05:45 PM   #3 (permalink)
Prog Metalish
 
ArchAngel1024's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Upstate, NY
Posts: 114

Real Name: Nick
Main Seven: Ibanez GRX720
Rig: Beringer V-Amp

Thanked: 5

ArchAngel1024 is a jewel in the rough
A Rhino is a reference to RINO or Republican In Name Only. It's a political song =P
View ArchAngel1024's Photo Album Offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Wrote a new song the other day... Wolfv11 Recording Studio 1 02-22-2008 06:11 AM
So I wrote some new songs... Shooter Recording Studio 3 01-10-2008 05:22 PM
Just wrote a new riff. Karl Hungus General Music Discussion 21 01-03-2007 03:31 PM
Sweep I wrote Shawn Music Theory, Lessons & Techniques 25 04-26-2005 07:44 PM

The Seven String Guitar Authority
 Raleigh Music Academy Soloway Guitars Angel Vivaldi
 Eric Clemenzi Ra Fans Vince LuPone
 The Guitar Workshop Tremol-No Division
 Michael Sherman Guitars Out of this Swirled Drew Peterson
Powered by vBulletin 3.7.2
Copyright ©2000 - 2008, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
LinkBacks Enabled by vBSEO 3.1.0
"777" Logo © Darren Wilson
Content © 2008 Sevenstring.org LLC - Privacy Policy
Affiliate Links Directory


  One of the largest message boards on the web !

RSS  Add to My Yahoo!  Add to iGoogle