Some lyrics I wrote

ArchAngel1024 · 04-22-2008, 03:38 PM

I figured this is the best place to get some critique on these (on this forum at least). I wrote it imagining Maynard Keenan singing.

I have 2 different choruses I'm working on.

Quote:

Originally Posted by No name yet

I met the time keeper today
He just always seems sad
but hey
What am I to do?
What am I to say?
The man watches his clocks just tick away.

Such a ridiculous man.

He only watches
never even tries
to help

And when he does
It all goes wrong

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chorus idea one

It's time
for a new
keeper

I'm done
watching the time fly by

Stand up
Pick your side

And watch an empire fall

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chorus idea two

It's time
for a new
keeper

Pick a side

And watch the system fail

Nothing works any more
these parts are useless.

Get up
and move about with your
ridiculous
campaign

One jester
One harlot
And a rhino

Mount them on the pedestal!

{solo would go here}

{Chorus}

End scene
watch it fall

repeat 4x

Comment away.

bostjan · 04-22-2008, 04:10 PM

A rhino?

I like the first verse and the first chorus idea. Need more verses to parallel the first one.

ArchAngel1024 · 04-22-2008, 05:45 PM

A Rhino is a reference to RINO or Republican In Name Only. It's a political song =P

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04-22-2008, 04:10 PM	#2 (permalink)
bostjan Spastic Kitchen! Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Indianapolis, IN Posts: 6,173 Main Seven: Oni Custom 7 Main ERG: Oni Custom 8 Rig: Mesa Dual Recto Thanked: 6	A rhino? I like the first verse and the first chorus idea. Need more verses to parallel the first one. Khereb's myspace

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04-22-2008, 05:45 PM	#3 (permalink)
ArchAngel1024 Prog Metalish Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Upstate, NY Posts: 114 Real Name: Nick Main Seven: Ibanez GRX720 Rig: Beringer V-Amp Thanked: 5	A Rhino is a reference to RINO or Republican In Name Only. It's a political song =P


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Some lyrics I wrote