Some lyrics I wrote

ArchAngel1024 · 04-22-2008, 03:38 PM

I figured this is the best place to get some critique on these (on this forum at least). I wrote it imagining Maynard Keenan singing.

I have 2 different choruses I'm working on.

Quote:

Originally Posted by No name yet

I met the time keeper today
He just always seems sad
but hey
What am I to do?
What am I to say?
The man watches his clocks just tick away.

Such a ridiculous man.

He only watches
never even tries
to help

And when he does
It all goes wrong

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chorus idea one

It's time
for a new
keeper

I'm done
watching the time fly by

Stand up
Pick your side

And watch an empire fall

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chorus idea two

It's time
for a new
keeper

Pick a side

And watch the system fail

Nothing works any more
these parts are useless.

Get up
and move about with your
ridiculous
campaign

One jester
One harlot
And a rhino

Mount them on the pedestal!

{solo would go here}

{Chorus}

End scene
watch it fall

repeat 4x

Comment away.

bostjan · 04-22-2008, 04:10 PM

A rhino?

I like the first verse and the first chorus idea. Need more verses to parallel the first one.

ArchAngel1024 · 04-22-2008, 05:45 PM

A Rhino is a reference to RINO or Republican In Name Only. It's a political song =P

04-22-2008, 04:10 PM	#2
bostjan Spastic Kitchen! Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Indianapolis, IN Posts: 6,076 Main Seven: Oni Custom 7 Main ERG: Oni Custom 8 Rig: Mesa Dual Recto Thanked: 6	A rhino? I like the first verse and the first chorus idea. Need more verses to parallel the first one. Khereb's myspace

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
Wrote a new song the other day...	Wolfv11	Recording Studio	1	02-22-2008 06:11 AM
So I wrote some new songs...	Shooter	Recording Studio	3	01-10-2008 05:22 PM
Just wrote a new riff.	Karl Hungus	General Music Discussion	21	01-03-2007 03:31 PM
Sweep I wrote	Shawn	Music Theory, Lessons & Techniques	25	04-26-2005 07:44 PM

Welcome to sevenstring.org! You are currently viewing the site as a guest which gives you limited access to most features.

Most ad placements do not show to registered members. Register Now!

04-22-2008, 05:45 PM	#3
ArchAngel1024 Prog Metalish Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Upstate, NY Posts: 130 Real Name: Nick Main Seven: Ibanez GRX720 Rig: Beringer V-Amp Thanked: 6	A Rhino is a reference to RINO or Republican In Name Only. It's a political song =P


	Powered by vBulletin 3.7.3 Copyright ©2000 - 2008, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd. Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.2.0 "777" Logo © Darren Wilson Privacy Policy Affiliate Links Directory

» General Music Discussion

Some lyrics I wrote