Should i quit my band?

[broj15]

I know it's a decision that is ultimately up to me but I thought i should ask the cool dudes at ss.org for advice/ support 9since almost everyone on here is pretty knowledgable, nice, and has decent opinions when music is concerned). Basically my situation is that the other members of my band have started to change. Every practice it's the same old shit: "Dude, all i care about is money and getting famous so i can buy new gear, drugs, and .... bitches." We started off as a progressive deathcore/ death metal band (similar to The Faceless, Veil of Maya, Born of Osiris etc.) Now they wanna sound like is Woe is me, Broadway, Bullet for Pretty Boy, Sleeping with Sirens and all that other pop-y shit. If your not familiar with them look it up on youtube. l'm Also I'm the oldest member in the band (19) while my drummer and guitarist are 15 and 17, respectively. I know I'm not much older, but I've had a lot more experience (neither of them have any idea what it's like to have responsibilities like a full time job or bills that need paid) so they both a lot less mature than me witch creates some issues (they are both young and excitable and VERY VERY naive.) The other night at practice my drummer said to me "Hey me and him (the guitarist) decided that no mater what we're gonna stick together no matter what band we're in for the rest of our lives and we want you to stick with us because your the only one good enough to play our shit." That really pissed me off and i don't know why, exactly, but it did. I'm just not digging the vibe of the band now like i did back in the day. I'm really not sure what to do and some advice from the more experienced musicians of ss.org would be greatly appreciated. Also, sorry if this is the wrong forum (but it kind of seems like a general music discussion to me)

[Ancestor]

if you quit now, you won't feel bad about investing your time, energy and money into something that eventually didn't pan out.

you guys need to communicate, though. have a band meeting with no alcohol when everyone is relaxed and give everyone the respect of each other's attention. no opinion is wrong. see where you're at on the project. where do you want to go? does everyone agree with that?

once you know your goals, you can move on to how you will achieve them. but you need to have some sit-downs and talk. that's crucial. lack of communication is usually what tanks a project.

[EtherealEntity]

Yup.
Firstly, pursue your own happiness. If you feel it's not beneficial for you to stay, and you'd rather be doing something else, leave. Would you get more out of yourself as a musician if you spent time at home practicing instead? Quite possible. Experience playing with other musicians is valuable, but not if they are complete jerks. And chances are you've already got all the experience out of them that you're going to get.

You're at the age where you are reaching a turning point in life where you must make decisions and create your own direction, in music and life in general. They will be there soon enough, and it's clear that their direction is not your own.

Sounds to me like a good break from playing in a band would be productive. Take the time out to develop yourself and learn, work hard and earn lots of nice new gear, become certain of your direction, and look for other likeminded serious musicians.

[BigBaldIan]

Quit amicably whilst you still have something of a relationship with the other members. I know there's always the temptation to devolve into drama (especially when testosterone is involved), however I would politely state that their goals and yours are diverging and it would be better for all concerned if you quit. Make sure you have witnesses (or follow it up with an email) when you have this chat, as if they decide to be douchebags about it later you'll have corroboration.

In short, be the bigger man, keep it professional and try not to burn any bridges unnecessarily.

[Stealthdjentstic]

Yes please quit, the last thing I want to hear is more brokencyde.

[ChrisRushing]

Honestly at their ages it isn't surprising at all that they might want to play a completely different style of music or jump on every band wagon that comes down the road. If you are already set on what you want to do then you should spend the time finding others in a similar mind set. Those guys can't even get in most bars to play a gig for a couple of years so they would be holding you back anyways if your band really did take off.
You will find that being in a band is much like having a relationship with a woman except there are a lot more crybabies with vaginas in the band scene. Best of luck to you!

[EtherealEntity]

Originally Posted by ChrisRushing

You will find that being in a band is much like having a relationship with a woman except there are a lot more crybabies with vaginas in the band scene.

[petereanima]

Originally Posted by ChrisRushing

You will find that being in a band is much like having a relationship with a woman except there are a lot more crybabies with vaginas in the band scene.

Its funny because its true.


Seriously, this is the perfect description of how it is.

[ShadowFactoryX]

I hate your band without even listening.
Do quit, for us, for them, for you, for anyone really, just quit.

They want you in the band because they arent good enough to stand on their own.
And as stealth said...no more pop-core crap bands plz

[elrrek]

Originally Posted by petereanima

Its funny because its true.


Seriously, this is the perfect description of how it is.

I lol'd also, because it's true.

[Jontain]

If the band are no longer focusing on your passions and its no longer your thing than I would say its time to look elsewhere, there is no point being in a band that you can never give your all in because your playing/writing is being forced in a direction your not passionate about.

However its worth talking to the other band members first, but if they are in a band to get laid, get wasted and make money then they are naive and sound like they will never focus on the music.

[Mysticlamp]

they will grow out of the drug, bitches and money phase but quit while you are ahead

[DLG]

yes.

[SirMyghin]

I'd quit, 19 vs 17, and heaven forbid 19 vs 15 is a pretty huge mental divide. Like 21 to 19 After that it starts to level off some.

[KingAenarion]

Take an indefinite Hiatus. Tell them you want to start playing real gigs in over 18s venues but that you want to wait till they're finished school etc and you've all had time to work on your craft

[The Beard]

I say definitely quit, if they're wanting to jump on the generic-bandwagon and want to "keep you because you're the only one good enough to play their (literal) shit", I fully endorse you going your own way and ditching it.

[broj15]

thanks for the advice guys. The thing is is that I still want to play in a band but these two musicians are the only people around interested in doing anything thats remotely metal (in southern indiana it's old guys doing country or classic rock covers) so would have to drive at least 30 minutes to the louisville kentucky area if i was going to have any hope of finding suitable musicians. Also, I'm the only good bass player in my area with a good knowledge of music theory and decent enough gear to gig with so without me they are kind of screwed.
@Shadowfactory and Stealthtastic: are saying that what we used to sound like (progressive death metal w/ a few breakdowns) or the pop-y bullshit sucks? Your statement was worded in such a way that i couldn't understand what you meant.

[SirMyghin]

I would say expand your horizons a little. As far as being the 'only good bass player in the area', I remember how nice it was to be a teen , try to not delude yourself with a narrow perspective.

[ArkaneDemon]

Nah dude, don't quit. Drugs and bitches are where it's at, yo, didn't you get the memo? Ain't nothing better than drugs and bitches

[AdAstra2025]

You're not going to get rich, get famous or .... bitches in a deathcore band...90% of people who are into that are dudes...just saying.

[broj15]

I don't really care about drugs, bitches or money. I have a girlfriend so I don't worry about bitches, i haver a good job that pays enough for me to pick up some decent gear here and there and i plan on going to college to music business/ audio engineering so i can make money. I just play music because it's fun and i like to write stuff that want to hear. None of the other shit is important because it's all covered. And i'm not the one who wants drugs, bitches or money.I just want to play music and not be a sellout

[ArkaneDemon]

Originally Posted by AdAstra2025

You're not going to get rich, get famous or .... bitches in a deathcore band...90% of people who are into that are dudes...just saying.

You seem to ignore the scene bitches who are all over that shit.

[Lon]

yes

[MikeH]

I would punch both of them in the face and quit.

[JosephAOI]

Bro, you're like 15 minutes away from me. We should jam.

And yeah, I don't think you should be in a band where you're gonna be playing something you don't want to cause you'll just be miserable and the same way with them.