Metal Amps never made..(but should have been) - Page 2

AeonSolus · 08-11-2009, 12:25 PM

ENGL DragonBall; Fractal Audio and ENGL Join forces to create the world's first Digitube amp (A 2.6ghz Core 2 Quad processor per "tube" dedicated just to the emulation of the tube saturation and feel...imagine that...4 quad cores....)

that would be badass

fretninjadave · 08-11-2009, 12:37 PM

the Hughes & Kettner ....-Punter, So brutal your moms Uterus will fall out.

the VHT,Babypuncher,More brutal than Choke-slamming a newborn..

the Mesa Murder/Suiside tube preamp,So Brutal you'll kill your whole family and then yourself after a 12 HOUR standoff with the police.

The ENGL Firebreather,This one really breathes fire dont stand in front.The fire is too BRUTAL.

GUUURRR BAAAAAAA
....IN BRUTAL
EVIL STUFF

ccc187307 · 08-11-2009, 01:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fretninjadave

the Hughes & Kettner ....-Punter, So brutal your moms Uterus will fall out.

Oh my ....ing God!!!! Exactly what i was looking for!

i cant stop laughing!!!!

and Petereanima, you are seriously touched in the head also. BOW DOWN TO THE FORTIN 'SHITHEAD'!

xtrustisyoursx · 08-11-2009, 01:27 PM

The Engl EL - so brutally scooped, we scooped out the middle of our brand name.

ccc187307 · 08-11-2009, 01:57 PM

The Vox Dahmer - keep the head in the freezer until its go time.

Daemoniac · 08-11-2009, 08:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fretninjadave

the Hughes & Kettner ....-Punter, So brutal your moms Uterus will fall out.

the VHT,Babypuncher,More brutal than Choke-slamming a newborn..

the Mesa Murder/Suiside tube preamp,So Brutal you'll kill your whole family and then yourself after a 12 HOUR standoff with the police.

Quote:

Originally Posted by xtrustisyoursx

The Engl EL - so brutally scooped, we scooped out the middle of our brand name.

Jesus christ im ....ing pissing myself laughing

The Marshall "Beyond Classic" all tube amp - So mother-....ing old-school it sounds like a pan flute.

signalgrey · 08-11-2009, 09:25 PM

The Silvertone - "Im a talentless indie deuchnozzle who simply buys shit because i saw someone else use it, and it sure does look cool"

Specs Feature
- An apartment in the Williamsburg Brooklyn with all the other fake ass "New Yorkers" from new england and california.
- a "Bohemian" lifestyle paid for by mom and dad
- Shitty music (gogol bordello sucks btw)
- a chance to sound like you know what you are talking about
-to be keen in a scene
-To live on the east coast and say "rad" and "hella" and make real new yorkers want to slap the shit out of you.
-Have thousands of people hope you die in a hairspray and ironic mustache/wardrobe accident.

....oh right

and you have a shitty amp you can play a guitar through...but it sounds like shit...and you suck at guitar...and you're a terrible singer copying other terrible singers who copy other terrible singers who copy the pixies and joy division and the cure. but then you have no idea who they are.

theres some watts too...i dont know. and a knob.

Daemoniac · 08-11-2009, 09:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by signalgrey

theres some watts too...i dont know. and a knob.

Nice

pink freud · 08-11-2009, 10:24 PM

÷13 brand ÷0 model

So brutal it will make your calculator have errors, and quite possibly implode the universe.

Daemoniac · 08-11-2009, 10:27 PM

Mesa/Boogie Octuple Rectifier; Bass that's 8 times saggier, mids that are 8 times as aggressive, highs that are 8 times as ear-splittingly sharp, a price that's 8 times your budget.

signalgrey · 08-11-2009, 10:33 PM

The Fender One Trick Pony
- I can sound like a fender.
- I can sound like.....a fender.
- I cost alot.

xtrustisyoursx · 08-11-2009, 11:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Demoniac

Mesa/Boogie Octuple Rectifier; Bass that's 8 times saggier, mids that are 8 times as aggressive, highs that are 8 times as ear-splittingly sharp, a price that's 8 times your budget.

wouldn't that have 16 power tubes?

op1e · 08-12-2009, 01:49 AM

The Line 6 "Doc Martin Abortion"
So brutally stiff and buzzsaw harsh, its like planting a size ten in your insignificant others womb, sending her careening down the stairs of your shitty townhouse in Northeast Ohio.
It sounds as pleasing to the ears as the Kirby thats about to vacuum the stem cells that might cure cancer out of her box.

AeonSolus · 08-12-2009, 05:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xtrustisyoursx

wouldn't that have 16 power tubes?

Correction, 32 power tubes

...not because it needs it..it's because it's MESA

Despised_0515 · 08-12-2009, 07:08 AM

This thread is so full of win, couldn't stop laughing at the "Peavey FiftyOne....You" for a good while

The Mesa Mark VagIna

Tone so tight, tech-death guitarists and djentlemen are already saving up for the sumbitch with it's matching cab:
The Mesa Oversized eRectifier 4x12 cab loaded with Eminence Magnums.

Head and cab are available with flavored tolex options.

petereanima · 08-12-2009, 08:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VicerExciser

This thread is so full of win, couldn't stop laughing at the "Peavey FiftyOne....You" for a good while

The Mesa Mark VagIna

Tone so tight, tech-death guitarists and djentlemen are already saving up for the sumbitch with it's matching cab:
The Mesa Oversized eRectifier 4x12 cab loaded with Eminence Magnums.

Head and cab are available with flavored tolex options.

i've played that one. i liked the Lube-Channel, very good for creamy soloing.

yacker · 08-12-2009, 08:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AeonSolus

ENGL DragonBall; Fractal Audio and ENGL Join forces to create the world's first Digitube amp (A 2.6ghz Core 2 Quad processor per "tube" dedicated just to the emulation of the tube saturation and feel...imagine that...4 quad cores....)

that would be badass

Quote:

Originally Posted by signalgrey

The Fender One Trick Pony
- I can sound like a fender.
- I can sound like.....a fender.
- I cost alot.

AHHHHHHAHAHAHAAHA. Those two are epic. There's even a one star ball in that ....er.

Despised_0515 · 08-12-2009, 08:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by petereanima

i've played that one. i liked the Lube-Channel, very good for creamy soloing.

Tell me about it man, have you tried the Mesa Stillpreggo Douche?
The Morning Sickness channel has just INCREDIBLE amounts of gain.
Makes a Peavey 51....you sound like it's always on clean

fretninjadave · 08-12-2009, 09:25 AM

The Diezel PuppyKicker 300/300 stereo power amp,More Brutal than placekicking 12 chihuahuas into a Woodchipper.

The Framus, HammerChuck 120-More brutal than nunchucks to the face, Because their Hammers, nuff said...

The Fuchs.Lil Kim .5 Watt 1x8 combo,More Brutal than North Korea

ccc187307 · 08-12-2009, 11:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VicerExciser

This thread is so full of win, couldn't stop laughing at the "Peavey FiftyOne....You" for a good while

And still no rep awarded? I've played guitar for 25 ....ing years and still suck! Cut me some slack guys!

I knew there'd be some good shit come out of this. This site rules.

How about the Mesa Dual Rectumfire - the low b will blow another hole in your ass.

or:

The Pete Townsend Hiwatt that comes with pictures of a boys swim meet.

DrakkarTyrannis · 08-12-2009, 12:22 PM

The Peavey Bitchpwned

A massive amp designed by Hartley Peavey

All tube loaded head with power function to make it anywhere from 1 to 300 watts. It takes tubes of ALL kinds in ANY combination you can think of and biases itself OR biases to whatever you tell it. You say "34ma" it does it, no touching required.

No need for "channels" as it does ANYTHING from fender cleans to Fryette and Diezel gain, Marshall blues crunch and EVERYTHING in between. Holds infinite presets, all triggered by telepathic response. Just think of ANY tone and the amp does the rest.

A VHT Pitbull gain with JSX crunch
A 5150 with Fender Cleans
ENGL Invader tones with Triple Recto tones just a thought away

Behemoth, AIC, Yngwie, Pantera, Metallica, The Red Chord, Deftones, Periphery, ANYTHING and the amp does it.
ANYTHING
It even doubles as a bass amp

Think of a boost and the amp does it, no pedals needed. It has 0 noise so you don't need a gate. Think of the effect and the amp does it, no need for any pedal EVER again
The amp even shifts to design it's appearance to whatever you like.

With this amp Peavey will change amplification as we know it.

But there's only one and Hartley owns it..he just designed it to shut everyone up about Peavey being inferior to "high end amps"...PWN3D BITCH!!!

Variant · 08-12-2009, 05:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fretninjadave

The Fuchs Lil Kim

I'll take one of these, compact, but still has a good bottom end!

op1e · 08-12-2009, 07:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fretninjadave

The Diezel PuppyKicker 300/300 stereo power amp,More Brutal than placekicking 12 chihuahuas into a Woodchipper.

Raaaaaahhhhhhhaaaaaaahhhhaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!
That one gets a Robert Deniro Cape Fear laugh.

fretninjadave · 08-12-2009, 08:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Variant

I'll take one of these, compact, but still has a good bottom end!

absolutley

Scar Symmetry · 08-12-2009, 08:53 PM

Mesa Dual Retro-Fryer = Cook tasty tones and Southern Fried Chicken at the same time

Diezel Lemon Sherbert = Extremely fizzy and comes with a lollipop

Soldano SLOWWWWW 100 = After you dial a tone in, it takes a long time for it to have any effect

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08-11-2009, 01:57 PM	#30
ccc187307 ss.org Irregular Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Pennsdale PA / USA Posts: 134 Thanked: 2 Feedback Score: 0 reviews	The Vox Dahmer - keep the head in the freezer until its go time. *

08-11-2009, 09:25 PM	#32
signalgrey Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Seoul, South Korea Posts: 3,536 Thanked: 26 Feedback Score: 0 reviews	The Silvertone - "Im a talentless indie deuchnozzle who simply buys shit because i saw someone else use it, and it sure does look cool" Specs Feature - An apartment in the Williamsburg Brooklyn with all the other fake ass "New Yorkers" from new england and california. - a "Bohemian" lifestyle paid for by mom and dad - Shitty music (gogol bordello sucks btw) - a chance to sound like you know what you are talking about -to be keen in a scene -To live on the east coast and say "rad" and "hella" and make real new yorkers want to slap the shit out of you. -Have thousands of people hope you die in a hairspray and ironic mustache/wardrobe accident. ....oh right and you have a shitty amp you can play a guitar through...but it sounds like shit...and you suck at guitar...and you're a terrible singer copying other terrible singers who copy other terrible singers who copy the pixies and joy division and the cure. but then you have no idea who they are. theres some watts too...i dont know. and a knob. http://www.purevolume.com/citizenlusca http://www.citizenlusca.com

08-11-2009, 10:27 PM	#35
Daemoniac Rivethead Magnate. Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Melbourne, VIC, Australia Posts: 7,092 Thanked: 202 Feedback Score: 3 reviews	Mesa/Boogie Octuple Rectifier; Bass that's 8 times saggier, mids that are 8 times as aggressive, highs that are 8 times as ear-splittingly sharp, a price that's 8 times your budget. Daemoniac @ Last.fm Daemoniac @ Soundclick

08-11-2009, 10:33 PM	#36
signalgrey Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Seoul, South Korea Posts: 3,536 Thanked: 26 Feedback Score: 0 reviews	The Fender One Trick Pony - I can sound like a fender. - I can sound like.....a fender. - I cost alot. http://www.purevolume.com/citizenlusca http://www.citizenlusca.com

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08-11-2009, 12:37 PM	#27
fretninjadave Seven String Samurai Join Date: May 2008 Location: El Paso tx Posts: 779 Thanked: 25 Feedback Score: 1 reviews	the Hughes & Kettner ....-Punter, So brutal your moms Uterus will fall out. the VHT,Babypuncher,More brutal than Choke-slamming a newborn.. the Mesa Murder/Suiside tube preamp,So Brutal you'll kill your whole family and then yourself after a 12 HOUR standoff with the police. The ENGL Firebreather,This one really breathes fire dont stand in front.The fire is too BRUTAL. GUUURRR BAAAAAAA ....IN BRUTAL EVIL STUFF

08-11-2009, 01:27 PM	#29
xtrustisyoursx SS Contributor Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: oklahoma city, OK Posts: 1,682 Thanked: 14 Feedback Score: 4 reviews	The Engl EL - so brutally scooped, we scooped out the middle of our brand name.

08-11-2009, 10:24 PM	#34
pink freud SS.org Regular Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Seattle Posts: 2,406 Thanked: 54 $pink freud is rather kvlt and tr00. \m/$ $pink freud is rather kvlt and tr00. \m/$ $pink freud is rather kvlt and tr00. \m/$ $pink freud is rather kvlt and tr00. \m/$ $pink freud is rather kvlt and tr00. \m/$ $pink freud is rather kvlt and tr00. \m/$ $pink freud is rather kvlt and tr00. \m/$ Feedback Score: 0 reviews	÷13 brand ÷0 model So brutal it will make your calculator have errors, and quite possibly implode the universe.

08-12-2009, 01:49 AM	#38
op1e JCM 8150? Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Atwater, OH United States Posts: 1,260 Thanked: 12 Feedback Score: 0 reviews	The Line 6 "Doc Martin Abortion" So brutally stiff and buzzsaw harsh, its like planting a size ten in your insignificant others womb, sending her careening down the stairs of your shitty townhouse in Northeast Ohio. It sounds as pleasing to the ears as the Kirby thats about to vacuum the stem cells that might cure cancer out of her box. Facebook for likes --- Ashkult Reverbnation for music --- Ashkult

08-12-2009, 07:08 AM	#40
Despised_0515 Usual Gear Addict :) Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Indio, California Posts: 2,345 Thanked: 27 Feedback Score: 10 reviews	This thread is so full of win, couldn't stop laughing at the "Peavey FiftyOne....You" for a good while The Mesa Mark VagIna Tone so tight, tech-death guitarists and djentlemen are already saving up for the sumbitch with it's matching cab: The Mesa Oversized eRectifier 4x12 cab loaded with Eminence Magnums. Head and cab are available with flavored tolex options.

08-12-2009, 09:25 AM	#44
fretninjadave Seven String Samurai Join Date: May 2008 Location: El Paso tx Posts: 779 Thanked: 25 Feedback Score: 1 reviews	The Diezel PuppyKicker 300/300 stereo power amp,More Brutal than placekicking 12 chihuahuas into a Woodchipper. The Framus, HammerChuck 120-More brutal than nunchucks to the face, Because their Hammers, nuff said... The Fuchs.Lil Kim .5 Watt 1x8 combo,More Brutal than North Korea

08-12-2009, 12:22 PM	#46
DrakkarTyrannis FUCK DJENT Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Maryland Posts: 4,189 Thanked: 130 Feedback Score: 0 reviews	The Peavey Bitchpwned A massive amp designed by Hartley Peavey All tube loaded head with power function to make it anywhere from 1 to 300 watts. It takes tubes of ALL kinds in ANY combination you can think of and biases itself OR biases to whatever you tell it. You say "34ma" it does it, no touching required. No need for "channels" as it does ANYTHING from fender cleans to Fryette and Diezel gain, Marshall blues crunch and EVERYTHING in between. Holds infinite presets, all triggered by telepathic response. Just think of ANY tone and the amp does the rest. A VHT Pitbull gain with JSX crunch A 5150 with Fender Cleans ENGL Invader tones with Triple Recto tones just a thought away Behemoth, AIC, Yngwie, Pantera, Metallica, The Red Chord, Deftones, Periphery, ANYTHING and the amp does it. ANYTHING It even doubles as a bass amp Think of a boost and the amp does it, no pedals needed. It has 0 noise so you don't need a gate. Think of the effect and the amp does it, no need for any pedal EVER again The amp even shifts to design it's appearance to whatever you like. With this amp Peavey will change amplification as we know it. But there's only one and Hartley owns it..he just designed it to shut everyone up about Peavey being inferior to "high end amps"...PWN3D BITCH!!!

08-12-2009, 08:53 PM	#50
Scar Symmetry Ex Whiny Bitch Join Date: May 2007 Location: Bristol, UK Posts: 15,688 Thanked: 377 Feedback Score: 3 reviews	Mesa Dual Retro-Fryer = Cook tasty tones and Southern Fried Chicken at the same time Diezel Lemon Sherbert = Extremely fizzy and comes with a lollipop Soldano SLOWWWWW 100 = After you dial a tone in, it takes a long time for it to have any effect Ever noticed how some people are real dicks on the internet, but when they post something involving their band, they make the effort to be nice? Funny that...

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