Honestly, your post was so full of can't/won't/suck/lack of motivation/too hard/etc... that you probably just need to do the exact opposite of everything you're doing now, as well as approach it with the exact opposite attitude.
I can't imagine that music courses in college are going to be too fun if you're going into them with no real desire to get better.
It should be fun... and nothing about it seems to be fun for you.