Comments are extremely elusive here. Lame, right?
Custom said what needed to be said about production, but I'm a composition nerd so I'll say a few words!
The progression is very cliche. Is that a bad thing? Only if that isn't what you were looking for. These progressions are so commonly used because, well, they work! And to be honest, I think that kind of numb corny nature of the progression suits the "story" you're telling well.
Consider making this an episode, this idea solidified by the "doomy" sections. While I normally frown upon many dry theme elements in music--as it tends to become very, very contrived--I think this is just screaming for it.
The fade is quite too sudden, in my opinion, as well.