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Old 07-08-2010, 08:31 PM   #363
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Originally Posted by glassmoon0fo View Post
k guys, i have a pretty legit issue that i would appreciate some "expert" advice on haha.

so, my girlfriend of five years is pretty awesome. i mean, you couldnt ask for more from a girlfriend, she is completely supportive of all my endevors, gets along great with my fam, cooks and cleans out of habit (she is Susie Homemaker herself, i swear), and in general is a goofball. we've had some great times together, which goes without saying because otherwise i wouldnt have stayed with her for so long. but here is my issue....

i started dating this girl my freshman year of college, when i should have been getting all the wild and crazy .... out of my system. I never would have thought that we'd have made it this long when i started out, but i got really attached and so did she. anyway, i dated her all throughout college and now that we've graduated and moved in together, im starting to really feel that maybe ive made a mistake. the problem is, she no longer intellectually stimulates me anymore...we dont have interesting conversations and she has nothing to say to me that i didnt know was going to come out of her mouth before she did. she lives and dies for me, and because of it she has no other friends (doesnt have the best of times with my friends either), has no hobbies of her own, and in general is pretty boring to me now. on top of that, i go to the gym all the time to stay looking good, and she eats twice as much as i do and NEVER makes an attempt to stay in any kind of shape, and thus im not really feeling how she's going to look in a few short years. couple that with the fact that sex is almost routine, and you have me looking for a way out.

now, i LOVE this girl, and i dont want to hurt her, but im just not so sure that i cant do better. i mean, i could do without the cooking and cleaning if it meant i could find someone who could match wits with me every now and then.

guys, the point is, im not sure why im feeling this way, if its normal, or if i already know what i have to do and just dont want to go through with it. if anyone has any experience with this kind of thing it'd be most appreciated to float me some words of wisdom.

Hey hun/dude. I feel your pain - from bothes sides of the story lol.
I hate to tell you this, coz from the look fo your pst, you already know it but don't have the guts to do it - but the answer is really simple: TALK TO HER ABOUT IT!!!!

What is the good in coming on here to moan about it & ask for advice, when you have made no attempt to talk to her about any of the way you're feeling?! COz having had a bf of 5 YEARS - there is nothing worse than a guy who hass issues with the relationship but won't say anything about it!

You can hardly think things will just "magically" get better if you stay silent, play pretend that you're still deeply into her...because I assure you NO-ONE is strong enough to go on with a relationship like that & not go wandering. And that does no-one any good at all.
...Also...don't try to talk yourself out of going to talk to her by thinking "I don't want to hurt her", coz what's worse:
A) be honest, tell her your concerns - worst comes to worst, it doesn't work out still but she respects you for being honest.... or B) Pretend that everything is ok, talk yourself into finding her appealing still, end up cracking & chasing someone else, you break up and to her & everyone who knows you both, you come out looking like the superficial douchebag who cheats...???

I'm not saying she won't be upset - even if she doesn't show it, she will be. Coz us chicks are kinda delicate when it comes to looks (whether they admit it or not tis true) - and hearing the words "I'm not into the way you look now" hurts like hell. But after the initial shock, she will either wanna continue the talk a little bit, so prepare to be really open & honest - maybe even offer to do less threatening exercise with her (like swimming/bike-riding together - just you 2)/ or she will silently create a plan in her head... or she will feel overwhelmed & not want to be with you anymore. The latter will prob only happen though if she is more confident with herself more now than when you met.

So....go do that, and then let us know

"From even the greatest of horrors, irony is seldom absent"... H.P Lovecraft
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